Hidden 3 mos ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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@DepressedSovietYou play your way up to the high rollers table. Every play you make is masterfully calculated. You have a perfect success rate. You know exactly what you're doing at all times. You can't possibly lose. You decide to go all in.

Unfortunately, you get cheated by the worlds greatest cheater. You lose everything.

I wish that I wasn't bored all the time.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 Fire Keeper / Superhero

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Granted. For one second a day you will not be bored, but thoroughly entertained.

I wish for a perfect score on my next big test.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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Granted. Congratulations! You now are the best and most knowledgeable person there is about proctology... a less than glamorous profession, you might say.

I wish spinach didn't have a nasty texture or taste, in spite of how healthy it is.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by Eklispe
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Eklispe SSP

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Granted, however everything else now has that taste and texture.

I wish I had more of the easter candy I ate.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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Granted. But it's more wax than candy, and it clogs up your intestines, and you have to have expensive surgery to have it removed.

I wish for a wish to be granted without being corrupted or violating causality, or getting anyone killed!
*eagerly awaits to see how it gets corrupted*
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by IntPenDespSword
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IntPenDespSword

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Granted. Some masochistic maniac's wish about permanently locking the entire Earth except the conscious minds of every human in a stasis, effectively trapping you all in a prison of your own minds, isn't corrupted, but is granted normally.

I wish for a small, but not smaller than an ant, bottle of water.
Hidden 3 mos ago 3 mos ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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Congratulations, you now have the worlds smallest bottle of water. You take pictures of it in order to show it off online. Everyone screams "fake and gay!" But you're not discouraged, not yet. You decide to show it to some people in real life. Unbeknownst to you at the time, you knock the worlds smallest bottle onto your kitchen floor. You step on it, which in turn, breaks it open. You slip and hit your head on the edge of a kitchen countertop. Your body is found two months later because you have no friends.

I wish that staying a virgin until an individual turned thirty truly did grant that said individual some badass magical powers.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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Granted. Sadly, said badass magical powers cannot be controlled, and you accidentally burn down the entire neighborhood.

I wish that for every wish that gets corrupted, another equal wish that had the opposite effect of the corruption was granted simultaneously.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by Raddum
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You want your wish granted?



Well fuck you, denied.

I wish this thread was dead.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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ROFL

Granted; everyone in this thread dies. But as you also participated in this thread, a flying bus kills you.

I wish @Witch Cat would come corrupt my next wish.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by Raddum
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Granted, but it's only half of @Witch Cat


I wish Mahz would miss another payment, causing a second Guildfall.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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AW DAMN.

Wish granted; suddenly with nothing to do, you realize your life is empty and you have wasted it on utter nonsense in online forums.

I wish my work was more intellectually stimulating and fulfilling than it actually is.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by Witch Cat
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Witch Cat <|:3

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Granted, but nothing happens because your work was already perfect

I wish for positive vibes
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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Granted. However, you get struck by lightning.

I wish I knew what I was doing.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 3 mos ago 3 mos ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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You got it! You completely understand all aspects of what you're doing at all times. Everyone leaves feeling bored and depressed due to the extreme existential dread from the futility of it all. You decide to end it. Your body is found two months later because you have no friends.

I wish that I could put my pants on two legs at a time.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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Granted; however, your third leg is so big that it essentially... a third leg. And it does not fit in your pants. And is functionally useless for anything except pissing and standing.

I wish I could even.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by Vesuvius00
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Vesuvius00 Fire Keeper / Superhero

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granted, but you have now lost the ability to 'odd'.

"I ask for nothing, I can get by. But I know so many less lucky than I..."
I wish for everyone in the world to have something that makes them happy
Hidden 3 mos ago 3 mos ago Post by TwelveOf8
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TwelveOf8 The second apostle is mine.

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Everyone in the world gains one thing in particular that makes them happy. The world stays its same miserable self because happiness is fleeting. People continue to search and strive for the next thing that'll make them happy. Life goes on unchanged. You've wasted your wish.

I wish my cereal doesn't get soggy when I leave it for too long.

Hidden 3 mos ago 3 mos ago Post by stardust
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stardust Lord Derp of Canadia

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Granted; your cereal now no longer gets soggy when left in milk. The downside? You have a put a bowl of rocks covered in milk. And rocks are hard on your teeth...

I wish I could even the odds.
Hidden 3 mos ago Post by IntPenDespSword
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IntPenDespSword

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you have no friends.

rood and also wronk

I wish I could even the odds.

Granted, every minimal time unit your atoms' chances of quantum tunnelling are equal to the chance they won't! You are instantly torn apart as your atoms can't seem to decide on one direction to move.

I wish for every Homo Sapiens to always think perfectly rationally, free of bias and large emotional influence.
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