@greywolf375Well, your work that out, I'm going to sleep.
Agents Of Olympus: Interest Check Page 5
- Casual
- Anime/Manga
- Sci-Fi
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
OP
Anyone got any questions about the game that aren't answered in the OP?
@Kouki Sorry it took me a while, but I'm not sure what you mean. He wasn't the leader of anything, just a rookie at the time.
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
With Stream users, if you are born as one, do you just automatically know how to use it, or do you need to figure out that you are one & ow to use it, or do you actually need to unlock the power?
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
OP
@greywolf375
1)You can't become a stream user...then again....hmmm, I'll think about that...
2)A stream user's abilities will manifest in their adolescence on average but that can vary with each user. Like, an extreme trauma or sudden shock can force a stream ability to manifest early or someone can be a "late bloomer" so your abilities don't manifest till adulthood.
3)Everything takes practice but starting them up in general is something that would come naturally like any other super power.
That's all well and good but I asked what war you were referring to when you said you were the only survivor. I ask because I wanted to make sure that it wasn't The Silent Night tragedy.
Or did you mean in general? Like, by the wars end, you were the only one left in your unit. Because if that's what you meant than I'm a dummy who doesn't know how to read things right.
PS:Your original post had you as a leader of a stream unit, I was referring to that cause I forgot you changed your history.
1)You can't become a stream user...then again....hmmm, I'll think about that...
2)A stream user's abilities will manifest in their adolescence on average but that can vary with each user. Like, an extreme trauma or sudden shock can force a stream ability to manifest early or someone can be a "late bloomer" so your abilities don't manifest till adulthood.
3)Everything takes practice but starting them up in general is something that would come naturally like any other super power.
@Kouki Sorry it took me a while, but I'm not sure what you mean. He wasn't the leader of anything, just a rookie at the time.
That's all well and good but I asked what war you were referring to when you said you were the only survivor. I ask because I wanted to make sure that it wasn't The Silent Night tragedy.
Or did you mean in general? Like, by the wars end, you were the only one left in your unit. Because if that's what you meant than I'm a dummy who doesn't know how to read things right.
PS:Your original post had you as a leader of a stream unit, I was referring to that cause I forgot you changed your history.
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
@greywolf375
1)You can't become a stream user...then again....hmmm, I'll think about that...
2)A stream user's abilities will manifest in their adolescence on average but that can vary with each user. Like, an extreme trauma or sudden shock can force a stream ability to manifest early or someone can be a "late bloomer" so your abilities don't manifest till adulthood.
3)Everything takes practice but starting them up in general is something that would come naturally like any other super power.
Gotcha, that all makes sense, just let me finish writing out my backstory and I will submit my character for approval
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
Done, finally
Codename: Agent M0rph3us
Real Name: Christina “Christie” Johnson
Appearance:
Skills
Specialty: Hacking
Others: Stealth, Parkour, CQC, Lockpicking
Stream-
Manifestation: Electrokinesis
Purity: Electrokinesis 1
Equipment-
Armor: Heavily modified to increase computational power, storage, and signal I/O Range. Also has her Codename stenciled onto the back of the left arm of the suit
Weapons: Whip-Sword, metallic, electrified via her Stream powers (AKA what Ivy has in Soul Caliber)
Other: Her full cyber-warfare suite, built into her suit, with hardwire connection to her brain to enable split-moment decisions. Also, two small drones that can be used for scouting or remote network connectors
Personality:truly a thrill-seeker at heart, she doesn’t trust or befriend that easily, but if you get on her good side, you have a staunch supporter, and a powerful one, at that. She is a decent person at heart, but impulsive, and occasionally erratic. And god help us all if she gets bored.
History: Christina Johnson was born to a middle-class family on New Earth, her mother and father both worked in the Network Security Administration, the government group tasked with hunting down hackers, black sites, and other illegal netizens. She had a good early childhood, with some good friends, and a solid social life, but her favorite thing, the one thing that truly grabbed her interest and held it, was computers. She was always connected, in one way or another, as were most of her friends, which might explain why she was online so much, but whatever. She ended up being what most people would call a Net Junkie, or a Nettie for short. Somewhere along the way, she decided to learn how the computers and networks she so loved worked, what made them tick, which got her into programming, not to mention researching the hardware and eventually building her own custom rig, with her parents blessing, as she was not neglecting the rest of herself or her studies. she was still an fit, active young woman, her main physical activities being parkour and urban exploration. somewhere along the rabbit hole of curiosity, she started to wonder what the code that actually ran the net was like. She started to do research, and this research led her down towards the DarkNet. In the seedy grey area between the ‘dark’ and ‘light’ nets is where she ran into a group of people who turned into her other group of friends and comrades, a group that would later turn into a group of shadowy hackers that ruled the DarkNet, going by the name of the Network of Dreams, under their leader, M0rph3us. However, I’m getting ahead of myself. During her hunt for information on the Core of the Net, as she liked to call it, she learned that it was run from, and stored on, a massive amount of remote servers, owned by many companies, mostly ISPs, and that at this point, it wasn’t really possible to view the core programs that kept the Net running. She did, however, run into the concept of hacking, which she took too almost immediately. She was 17, and the year was at this point.
She and her darknet friends at this point became the Network of Dreams, an idealistic hacker group that ran rampant for the next two years, amassing money and power en masse through targeted, skillful attacks on corporate, government and private machines and servers. During this time, near the end, she catches wind of a rumor or two here, a whisper there, a redacted piece of a file there, mentioning an organization called Olympus. She decided to dig deeper and deeper into his shadow company, Olympus, finding only hints and scraps. Finally, she decides to dig through the files of the Galactic Council itself, and she finally found something. The address of an Olympus Server Farm on-planet. However, little did she know, she had been hit with a Tracer program, that was slowly backtracking her progress into the server, back to her original machine. She talked to the other Dreamers about Olympus, as well as the data she uncovered, and then made a plan. She would convince her parents to take her on a vacation to the city in which the server farm was located for her birthday, with the excuse that she wanted to visit a friend of hers that had moved there a few months ago. To be fair, this was true, she did want to see her friend again, but it was a secondary goal. She managed to convince her parents to do this, since their work had also been stressing them out, what with the Dreamers being in the midst of their reign, robbing from the rich, occasionally giving to the poor, defacing pages that they don’t like, and much, much more. Anyways, the night before they left, her parents were talking about how they had a lead on one of the Dreamers, though they weren’t sure which one. Later that night, Christie went online to warn the other Dreamers of this development, but against the better judgement of her friends, she decides to go ahead with her plan. She packs the gear that she needs, grabbing her urban explorer gear, as well as a couple extra things, including a blank mask with the symbol of the Greek God Morpheus on it. She packed all of this underneath her normal everyday stuff, and slept, the Traceback getting closer and closer all the while. The next morning, they left on the vacation for a week. After some relaxation and sightseeing with her family, and after celebrating her birthday with her IRL friends, she decides that it is time to execute her plan, and sneaks out after her parents have gone to sleep. The trace has found her mobile, and is sitting Idle, and she is now 19. She met up with another one of her Dr34m3rs, S4ndm4n, who told her about the guard shifts and patrols that he could see, and then left, going back home. They met away from all of the cameras in the area, barely. She gave him enough time to get away, and then proceeded to clip through the chain-link fence and work her way towards the server room, sneaking her way past guards, and cracking into the building's security system and inserting a program to erase the video records for the day. This, of course activated the dormant tracer program in her machine, and it pinged out, letting the nearest security forces, in this case Olympus, know exactly where she was. By the time she was into the server room, which she got to otherwise undetected, an Olympus Team was on-site and hunting her down, and while she was trying to bypass the security systems, the Team closed in on her. She noticed, and tried to bolt, but she was outnumbered, and was brought down by the team, though she did land a couple good strikes, backed up by massive shocks from her Stream power, she was knocked unconscious.
When she woke up, she was in a plain white room, a containment cell with a bed, a desk, a toilet and little else. Wondering where she was she looked down at herself and realized that she was still wearing her exploration clothes, but that she had been searched, and stripped of all her little devices, including her lockpicks. She started to look for a way out when a speaker came on, saying, “Christina Johnson, I presume?”
Christina responded with, “Yeah, but my friends call me Christie, who’s asking?”
The loudspeaker came back on after a moment, saying, “Ah, Christie, then. I am Inspector Francis Marquis, of the NSA. A pleasure to meet you. Do you mind if I come in?”
Christina responds in a guarded tone, saying, “I can’t stop you, I’m the one in custody, aren’t I?”
the inspector doesn’t respond, and instead the door opens, and he walks through, the Mask hanging off of one of his fingers. “A pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Johnson, and a pleasure to meet you in person, Morpheus.”
Christina’s face fell as she realized that, not only was she caught sneaking around in a government facility, but that she had been unmasked as one of the great hackers of the time.
The inspector continued, saying, “You , young lady, are in a lot of trouble, breaking and entering, stealing confidential information, and more cybercrimes than we could recite in a day. You are looking at a steep jail sentence. But, it seems that you are in luck. You remember the building you broke into? The one belonging to the company Olympus? It is a Black Site, one that they barely even acknowledge the existence of, outwardly. Anyways, it seems like you have impressed them, or something, because they are offering to take you in, turn your talents to the forces of good, and escape your jail time. If you run away from them, however, you will be hunted down, and thrown behind bars.”
Christina pondered for a moment, and quickly made her decision. “What choice do I have? I’ll do it.”
“In that case, welcome to Olympus, Agent Morpheus. I am Agent Apate. Report to the Aponrette Spaceport in three days. We will pick you up there. You parents have been notified of your new job!” Apate said, waving her hand in front of her face, revealing her real form.
When she got back home, her parents looked, strangely, not angry, but congratulatory. “Congratulations Christie! I’m a little sad that you didn’t tell us, but great job being accepted into the Galactic Council CySec Command! If you wanted to come here for the practical exam, you could have just told us...” Christina quickly realized that what her parents had been told was very different from what actually happened. She spent the last three days of her vacation having a good time with her family during the day, and spending as much time with the other Dr34m3rs as she could, because, who knows when she will see them next. She then went to the spaceport with her parents, and left them to go with Agent Apate and two other soldiers, who escorted her to an Olympus Shuttle. As she boarded the shuttle, she wondered where this development would take her life. The one thing she did know, was that it certainly wouldn’t be boring.
Real Name: Christina “Christie” Johnson
Appearance:
Skills
Specialty: Hacking
Others: Stealth, Parkour, CQC, Lockpicking
Stream-
Manifestation: Electrokinesis
Purity: Electrokinesis 1
Equipment-
Armor: Heavily modified to increase computational power, storage, and signal I/O Range. Also has her Codename stenciled onto the back of the left arm of the suit
Weapons: Whip-Sword, metallic, electrified via her Stream powers (AKA what Ivy has in Soul Caliber)
Other: Her full cyber-warfare suite, built into her suit, with hardwire connection to her brain to enable split-moment decisions. Also, two small drones that can be used for scouting or remote network connectors
Personality:truly a thrill-seeker at heart, she doesn’t trust or befriend that easily, but if you get on her good side, you have a staunch supporter, and a powerful one, at that. She is a decent person at heart, but impulsive, and occasionally erratic. And god help us all if she gets bored.
History: Christina Johnson was born to a middle-class family on New Earth, her mother and father both worked in the Network Security Administration, the government group tasked with hunting down hackers, black sites, and other illegal netizens. She had a good early childhood, with some good friends, and a solid social life, but her favorite thing, the one thing that truly grabbed her interest and held it, was computers. She was always connected, in one way or another, as were most of her friends, which might explain why she was online so much, but whatever. She ended up being what most people would call a Net Junkie, or a Nettie for short. Somewhere along the way, she decided to learn how the computers and networks she so loved worked, what made them tick, which got her into programming, not to mention researching the hardware and eventually building her own custom rig, with her parents blessing, as she was not neglecting the rest of herself or her studies. she was still an fit, active young woman, her main physical activities being parkour and urban exploration. somewhere along the rabbit hole of curiosity, she started to wonder what the code that actually ran the net was like. She started to do research, and this research led her down towards the DarkNet. In the seedy grey area between the ‘dark’ and ‘light’ nets is where she ran into a group of people who turned into her other group of friends and comrades, a group that would later turn into a group of shadowy hackers that ruled the DarkNet, going by the name of the Network of Dreams, under their leader, M0rph3us. However, I’m getting ahead of myself. During her hunt for information on the Core of the Net, as she liked to call it, she learned that it was run from, and stored on, a massive amount of remote servers, owned by many companies, mostly ISPs, and that at this point, it wasn’t really possible to view the core programs that kept the Net running. She did, however, run into the concept of hacking, which she took too almost immediately. She was 17, and the year was at this point.
She and her darknet friends at this point became the Network of Dreams, an idealistic hacker group that ran rampant for the next two years, amassing money and power en masse through targeted, skillful attacks on corporate, government and private machines and servers. During this time, near the end, she catches wind of a rumor or two here, a whisper there, a redacted piece of a file there, mentioning an organization called Olympus. She decided to dig deeper and deeper into his shadow company, Olympus, finding only hints and scraps. Finally, she decides to dig through the files of the Galactic Council itself, and she finally found something. The address of an Olympus Server Farm on-planet. However, little did she know, she had been hit with a Tracer program, that was slowly backtracking her progress into the server, back to her original machine. She talked to the other Dreamers about Olympus, as well as the data she uncovered, and then made a plan. She would convince her parents to take her on a vacation to the city in which the server farm was located for her birthday, with the excuse that she wanted to visit a friend of hers that had moved there a few months ago. To be fair, this was true, she did want to see her friend again, but it was a secondary goal. She managed to convince her parents to do this, since their work had also been stressing them out, what with the Dreamers being in the midst of their reign, robbing from the rich, occasionally giving to the poor, defacing pages that they don’t like, and much, much more. Anyways, the night before they left, her parents were talking about how they had a lead on one of the Dreamers, though they weren’t sure which one. Later that night, Christie went online to warn the other Dreamers of this development, but against the better judgement of her friends, she decides to go ahead with her plan. She packs the gear that she needs, grabbing her urban explorer gear, as well as a couple extra things, including a blank mask with the symbol of the Greek God Morpheus on it. She packed all of this underneath her normal everyday stuff, and slept, the Traceback getting closer and closer all the while. The next morning, they left on the vacation for a week. After some relaxation and sightseeing with her family, and after celebrating her birthday with her IRL friends, she decides that it is time to execute her plan, and sneaks out after her parents have gone to sleep. The trace has found her mobile, and is sitting Idle, and she is now 19. She met up with another one of her Dr34m3rs, S4ndm4n, who told her about the guard shifts and patrols that he could see, and then left, going back home. They met away from all of the cameras in the area, barely. She gave him enough time to get away, and then proceeded to clip through the chain-link fence and work her way towards the server room, sneaking her way past guards, and cracking into the building's security system and inserting a program to erase the video records for the day. This, of course activated the dormant tracer program in her machine, and it pinged out, letting the nearest security forces, in this case Olympus, know exactly where she was. By the time she was into the server room, which she got to otherwise undetected, an Olympus Team was on-site and hunting her down, and while she was trying to bypass the security systems, the Team closed in on her. She noticed, and tried to bolt, but she was outnumbered, and was brought down by the team, though she did land a couple good strikes, backed up by massive shocks from her Stream power, she was knocked unconscious.
When she woke up, she was in a plain white room, a containment cell with a bed, a desk, a toilet and little else. Wondering where she was she looked down at herself and realized that she was still wearing her exploration clothes, but that she had been searched, and stripped of all her little devices, including her lockpicks. She started to look for a way out when a speaker came on, saying, “Christina Johnson, I presume?”
Christina responded with, “Yeah, but my friends call me Christie, who’s asking?”
The loudspeaker came back on after a moment, saying, “Ah, Christie, then. I am Inspector Francis Marquis, of the NSA. A pleasure to meet you. Do you mind if I come in?”
Christina responds in a guarded tone, saying, “I can’t stop you, I’m the one in custody, aren’t I?”
the inspector doesn’t respond, and instead the door opens, and he walks through, the Mask hanging off of one of his fingers. “A pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Johnson, and a pleasure to meet you in person, Morpheus.”
Christina’s face fell as she realized that, not only was she caught sneaking around in a government facility, but that she had been unmasked as one of the great hackers of the time.
The inspector continued, saying, “You , young lady, are in a lot of trouble, breaking and entering, stealing confidential information, and more cybercrimes than we could recite in a day. You are looking at a steep jail sentence. But, it seems that you are in luck. You remember the building you broke into? The one belonging to the company Olympus? It is a Black Site, one that they barely even acknowledge the existence of, outwardly. Anyways, it seems like you have impressed them, or something, because they are offering to take you in, turn your talents to the forces of good, and escape your jail time. If you run away from them, however, you will be hunted down, and thrown behind bars.”
Christina pondered for a moment, and quickly made her decision. “What choice do I have? I’ll do it.”
“In that case, welcome to Olympus, Agent Morpheus. I am Agent Apate. Report to the Aponrette Spaceport in three days. We will pick you up there. You parents have been notified of your new job!” Apate said, waving her hand in front of her face, revealing her real form.
When she got back home, her parents looked, strangely, not angry, but congratulatory. “Congratulations Christie! I’m a little sad that you didn’t tell us, but great job being accepted into the Galactic Council CySec Command! If you wanted to come here for the practical exam, you could have just told us...” Christina quickly realized that what her parents had been told was very different from what actually happened. She spent the last three days of her vacation having a good time with her family during the day, and spending as much time with the other Dr34m3rs as she could, because, who knows when she will see them next. She then went to the spaceport with her parents, and left them to go with Agent Apate and two other soldiers, who escorted her to an Olympus Shuttle. As she boarded the shuttle, she wondered where this development would take her life. The one thing she did know, was that it certainly wouldn’t be boring.
Apate is the Greek Goddess of Deception
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
OP
@greywolf375Two things,
1) Don't make up Agents and don't make up facilities without my approval. As this game is based pretty hard on exploring and making choices in a preexisting set-up instead of world building, It's important to run things by me first. It's not always a big deal but safe rather than sorry.
2)You gotta work on your sentence structure dude. Like, your dialogue and the part where it was an actual in-game conversation was excellent but those walls of texts....
I like the character in-general though, she sounds good from what I'm reading.
PS:If you forget the mention, just go to edit and put it in.
1) Don't make up Agents and don't make up facilities without my approval. As this game is based pretty hard on exploring and making choices in a preexisting set-up instead of world building, It's important to run things by me first. It's not always a big deal but safe rather than sorry.
2)You gotta work on your sentence structure dude. Like, your dialogue and the part where it was an actual in-game conversation was excellent but those walls of texts....
I like the character in-general though, she sounds good from what I'm reading.
PS:If you forget the mention, just go to edit and put it in.
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
@greywolf375Two things,
1) Don't make up Agents and don't make up facilities without my approval. As this game is based pretty hard on exploring and making choices in a preexisting set-up instead of world building, It's important to run things by me first. It's not always a big deal but safe rather than sorry.
2)You gotta work on your sentence structure dude. Like, your dialogue and the part where it was an actual in-game conversation was excellent but those walls of texts....
I like the character in-general though, she sounds good from what I'm reading.
PS:If you forget the mention, just go to edit and put it in.
Alright, I'll get on that. probably won't get done tonight, cause i've got a couple projects to finish up, though...
EDIT: Also, sorry about that, and if you have suggestions/editing stuff to suggest, I would like to hear it.
@Kouki Yeah, it just meant in general, sorry if it wasn't clear enough :/
Hope that clears up any confusion :)
Hope that clears up any confusion :)
twannyman TwentyTwaaaaaaan
Member
Seen
2 days ago
i had a pretty bad day yesterday, so i try to post tomorrow. Maybe later
OP
@Kouki Yeah, it just meant in general, sorry if it wasn't clear enough :/
Hope that clears up any confusion :)
No, my fault, totally my fault! Like I said, dummy who doesn't read things right.
@twannyman Take your time
@greywolf375 Still editing but-
Christina Johnson was born to a middle-class family on New Earth, her mother and father both worked in the Network Security Administration, the government group tasked with hunting down hackers, black sites, and other illegal netizens. She had a good early childhood, with some good friends, and a solid social life, but her favorite thing, the one thing that truly grabbed her interest and held it, was computers.
She was always connected in one way or another, as were most of her friends, which might explain why she was online so much, but whatever. She ended up being what most people would call a Net Junkie, or a “Nettie” for short. Somewhere along the way, she decided to learn how the computers and networks she so loved worked, what made them tick, which got her into programming, not to mention researching the hardware and eventually building her own custom rig, with her parents blessing.
She was still a fit, active young woman, her main physical activities being parkour and urban exploration. Along the rabbit hole of curiosity, she started to wonder what the code that actually ran the net was like. She started to do research, and this research led her down towards the DarkNet. In the seedy gray area between the ‘dark’ and ‘light’ nets is where she ran into a group of people who turned into her other group of friends, friends that would later become Network Of Dreams, a group of shadowy hackers that ruled the DarkNet under their leader, M0rph3us.
But I'm getting ahead of myself....
During her hunt for information on the “Core of the Net”, as she liked to call it, she learned that it was run from, and stored on, a massive amount of remote servers, owned by many companies, mostly ISPs, and that at this point, it wasn’t really possible to view the core programs that kept the Net running. By 15, this infatuation with technology led her to the concept of hacking, a form of thievery she thrived in. She studied endlessly and with her already astounding knowledge of computers, expanded her intellect even further into the field of computers. By 17 she could crack a high level safe from the comfort of her own home, though that was just practice.
And that's where Network of Dreams came in. With her new talent and skill, Christina was able to put together an idealistic hacker group under her command. They were freedom chasers and thrill seekers, amassing money and power through targeted attacks on corporate, government and private machines and servers. Some of what they took went to the poor but really, it was for the fun of it, they had a special gift and they knew how to raise a little hell with it.
The group had a good run, ran rampant for a full two years, but all things have to come to an end eventually. Christina's end, or rather her beginning, came from a steady flow of rumors and her natural love of a challenge.
You see, the young hacker had to know just how good she really was so it wasn't a surprise when she, having heard of the legendary protection program that they employed, targeted the largest enterprise to grace New Earth, Olympus. This giant corporation, with a stagnating amount of power and influence, boasted the galaxy's highest security.....so Christina hacking into their bank records within a matter of minutes was something they had never even considered. Her abilities on the net were unprecedented and she knew it, her friends knew it. But, while she may have been a genius, they were a company with resources and secrets they'd rather keep hidden so it wasn't long before she received an email, requesting the presence of Morpheus.
Suffice to say, Christina was aware of how the proverbial shit had hit the fan.
She was always connected in one way or another, as were most of her friends, which might explain why she was online so much, but whatever. She ended up being what most people would call a Net Junkie, or a “Nettie” for short. Somewhere along the way, she decided to learn how the computers and networks she so loved worked, what made them tick, which got her into programming, not to mention researching the hardware and eventually building her own custom rig, with her parents blessing.
She was still a fit, active young woman, her main physical activities being parkour and urban exploration. Along the rabbit hole of curiosity, she started to wonder what the code that actually ran the net was like. She started to do research, and this research led her down towards the DarkNet. In the seedy gray area between the ‘dark’ and ‘light’ nets is where she ran into a group of people who turned into her other group of friends, friends that would later become Network Of Dreams, a group of shadowy hackers that ruled the DarkNet under their leader, M0rph3us.
But I'm getting ahead of myself....
During her hunt for information on the “Core of the Net”, as she liked to call it, she learned that it was run from, and stored on, a massive amount of remote servers, owned by many companies, mostly ISPs, and that at this point, it wasn’t really possible to view the core programs that kept the Net running. By 15, this infatuation with technology led her to the concept of hacking, a form of thievery she thrived in. She studied endlessly and with her already astounding knowledge of computers, expanded her intellect even further into the field of computers. By 17 she could crack a high level safe from the comfort of her own home, though that was just practice.
And that's where Network of Dreams came in. With her new talent and skill, Christina was able to put together an idealistic hacker group under her command. They were freedom chasers and thrill seekers, amassing money and power through targeted attacks on corporate, government and private machines and servers. Some of what they took went to the poor but really, it was for the fun of it, they had a special gift and they knew how to raise a little hell with it.
The group had a good run, ran rampant for a full two years, but all things have to come to an end eventually. Christina's end, or rather her beginning, came from a steady flow of rumors and her natural love of a challenge.
You see, the young hacker had to know just how good she really was so it wasn't a surprise when she, having heard of the legendary protection program that they employed, targeted the largest enterprise to grace New Earth, Olympus. This giant corporation, with a stagnating amount of power and influence, boasted the galaxy's highest security.....so Christina hacking into their bank records within a matter of minutes was something they had never even considered. Her abilities on the net were unprecedented and she knew it, her friends knew it. But, while she may have been a genius, they were a company with resources and secrets they'd rather keep hidden so it wasn't long before she received an email, requesting the presence of Morpheus.
Suffice to say, Christina was aware of how the proverbial shit had hit the fan.
Okay, so-
So far I fixed the walls of text by breaking them up into easier-to-read paragraphs and wrote out the grammatical errors. You sometimes switched between past and present tense in the same sentence for no reason so I fixed that.
I took out the part about Olympus being a shadow organization because it isn't, it's an international(now intergalactic) company with buildings and companies expanding around the globe. Christina could find out whatever she wanted about it's existence from a google search.
Basically, I kept mostly everything the same, the information is still there just worded differently. The only big change I've made so far was, like I said, the nature of how you got onto Olympus' radar because they aren't a shadow organization......at least not on the surface.
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
@Kouki alright, sorry about the shadow company part, I think I misinterpreted something in the OP, and thanks for the editing. It fits her quite well. She and I both like it. It takes what I was trying to say, and puts it into a far more legible form. Plus, her skill are clearer.
OP
@greywolf375 While I do like being complimented, I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you that this is still your character so if you have any problems with my changes you can say so freely. I promise I will not mind.
greywolf375
Member
Seen
4 mos ago
@greywolf375 While I do like being complimented, I'd be remiss if I didn't remind you that this is still your character so if you have any problems with my changes you can say so freely. I promise I will not mind.
If I hadn't liked it, I would have told you. you gave me enough polish to run with, just gonna change the spelling of a couple terms to 1337 Speech, and it should be good.
OP
@greywolf375Noticed I made a few slips when editing the part about Network of Dreams. Should be good now
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