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Recent Statuses

3 yrs ago
Current Potato
2 likes
7 yrs ago
Status updates, huh? Who needs those anyways, pfft
1 like
8 yrs ago
I figured I should update my status. Tada!
1 like
8 yrs ago
What IS on my mind?
8 yrs ago
So I just watched the film "What happened to Monday?". To be honest I felt like the film really wanted me to hate it, but in the end I couldn't bring myself to give it less than 8 points on IMDB.
1 like

Bio

N I S Q H O G



Loves Teddy Bears|Twenty Something|Can't Speak Russian|Is Potat


THE MORE AWESOMEST POTATO:

Let me properly introduce myself. I am Sir Spud the Fourth, and I have been a potato for the longest time ever. I never denied it to be completely honest, but it is only recently that I embraced it. Now I have evolved from a simple couch potato to a fully grown royal potato. A dapper kawaii potato. And I dare say, knowing that you are a spud, makes life a lot easier. Just chill and let everyone else care about all their meaningless things because at the end of the day you'll know: chilling is the way to go.

I try to spend minimal effort on things that I don't care about, and procrastination might as well be my middle name. But that doesn't mean I ONLY rest. Sometimes a 'tato gotta do what a 'tato gotta do. And if that something happens to be things I like, then you cannot find anyone better than me. I am an omnipotent being capable of virtually any task to a limited degree, and I am not shy to admit it. I may not be the MOST AWESOMEST in a thing, but I am sure as hell MORE AWESOMEST than most people are at everything. But hey, I'm not here to brag, even if I am probabaly better at it than you


THE DREAMER:

All those nights laying in my couch, I thought about the cool shit that I cannot do. That I cannot see. But I pictured them in front of myself like they were real, and that infuraited me. Then I found the Guild, and I lived happily after. I have been on the site for 2 years now, and I have seen many RPs, and played with many people. I wish I have found the site earlier, but I am glad that I've even found it. Now all those fantasies can be written down and my mind can rest at ease at night, without being constantly troubled by ideas.

When I RP, I love myself some good Sci-Fi or Fantasy. But hey I am filthy casual, I can go for anything with an interesting setting. I don't trouble myself on small details if the plot is good, but if you get somwthing wrong you can expect me to tell you about it. Some even go as far as to think that I am angry or something, but I am too chill for that. If anything I'm more of the funny type, so you can expect me to try and write some shitty jokes or post memes I found on the internet. Anyways, you'll see what I mean when we RP together.


THE ARTIST:

Used to be something else here, but I'm happy to say that it's replaced because of a positive change. I now work as a full-time 3D artist in the animation industry, churning out shot after shot for some of your favorite game intros and trailers. Can't say anything about them before you even ask, and even though I'm still new to the industry I love it and I already know that this will be my passion for a long time. So hopefully in a few years I'll have a proud portfolio of animations that were done by yours truly that I can show off to all the lovely people of the guild.

THE LOVER OF STUFF:

Now I may have hobbies like the above mentioned, but there are some more things that I love in life. Here is a handy list of things you can always talk about with me:

  • Gaming: This one I am quite proud of, I'm a serious gamer with capital G. Not as much time for it nowadays, but still true.
  • Music: All kinds of electronic music, but I am a sucker for Queen and Powerwolf. Or Breakbot... anything music.
  • Anime: We all have an Otaku in us, but it's bigger for some people. For me it's just big enough.


WORDS OF WISDOM:

Be chill folks, getting fed up about stuff is a recipe for disaster. You gotta learn to be patient and let things go, or you'll end up a wrinkly old man/woman with only bad memories about life. Even if you do fuck-all every day, you can live a content life by taking things easy. With that said, as always, stay safe and stay classy.

Most Recent Posts

@Nariata@Bright_Ops

I feel that this tactic might work against auxilaries, but even then, are we to beleive our enemy cannot see through such and obvious trap? Supposedly a master tactician, we must think two, if not three steps ahead.
The results of my "extensive research" are in.

"In addition to charging, the elephants could provide a safe and stable platform for archers to shoot arrows in the middle of the battlefield, from which more targets could be seen and engaged. The archery evolved into more advanced weapons, and several Khmer and Indian kings used giant crossbow platforms (similar to the ballista) to shoot long armor-piercing shafts to kill other enemy war elephants and cavalry."

Yesssss, I can mount cool shit on top of elephants.

Also, "Elephants are able to carry roughly 25% of their total body weight on their back without causing much pain or discomfort." A male african bush elephant used for war (the ones that I assume you use, as unhistorical as it may be) is roughly 6 tons in weight, so we are looking at 1500 kilos that it can carry.

*someone in the background shouts "wait whaaaaaaat" in a goofy tone*

And that is not all.

"Elephants were further enhanced with their own weaponry and armour. In India and Sri Lanka, heavy iron chains with steel balls at the end were tied to the trunks of war elephants, which the animals were trained to swirl menacingly and with great skill. Numerous cultures designed elephant armour, aiming to protect the body and legs of the animal while leaving his trunk free to attack the enemy. Tusk swords were sometimes employed. Larger animals could also carry a protective tower on their backs, called a howdah."




Now I also had some MORE ideas for elephants, so I took the liberty of doing mathmatics about weight and it's dispersion, so I could account for defensive measures they can carry/pull/push.

Technically speaking, elephants could do some INSANE shit. Like carrying protective "umbrellas" made of wood above advancing troops to protect them from archers. You could use a 10 sqaure meter, 1 centimeter thick piece made of Oak, and your elephants could still carry it. Now if this doesn't sound that effective (I dunno why it wouldn't), you could do something else.

Elephants can easely push things so if we made spiked wooden barricades, the cows could easely push them in front of themselves into battle (the bulls have hors which would get in the way).

Of course if we talk about pushing, we must talk about pulling. Elephants can pull roughly 1.7 times their body weight behind them, so you could make some nice archer/mage platforms with that.

I also devised a way of making these elephants more offensive. Of course the chains and swords are awesome on their own, but you could definetly up that. The main issue of the war elephants was their lack of mobility whilst charging. Troops could just stand aside and then kill the best when it stopped. But what if doing this is harder than expected? I say we attach metal blades suspended from a framweork onto the SIDES of the elephant, and make it pull a few chains or ropes behind it, that it can also use while wheeling around to extend it's reach. As long as it has proper armor skirts, it cannot even hurt itself. With the proper support of archers on top or behind, and other infantry and cavalry pushing the enemy towards them, these beasts could do MASSIVE damage.

We could easely retrofit most of the elephants with these weapons in the time period of a single night, so the enemy won't even see them coming the next day.

Anyways, these are just a few ideas I had in my head. Imma hit the sack now, tell me what you guys think.
I'm currently writing my own post now.


Yess, I require your four legged beasts for my experiments construction projects. I have so many cool ideas, but I have to do some background checks before I can publicly put them out here.
Well, I thought we had some non-command units under our control who would be medics. Because if we REALLY think about it, our wounded wouldn't be our only problem. If we assume we only have the fighting units, we need to deal with the lack of supplies as we have no logistics, no food or cooks (which does kinda relate to the previous, and troops *could* still cook after an axhausting battle. Then of course we would need cartographers to map us the area so the generals can actually see where tehy are fighting on a map, and even thought I solved this, we would also need at least some engineers. I think we should assume that there are dedicated medics back at teh camp, or else we go into nasty territories.
@Nariata Prepare the operating table, we have a long night ahead of us.
@Nariata Oh lol, sarcasm doesn't translate well

I was wondering how you'd stuff this thing up their ass so they could spew fire from their mouth
@Nariata I thought about it, but combining elephants equipped with wood armor and flamethrowers makes for trouble. Especially since whichever elephant would receive this, will be top priority for the enemy archers, and an elephant is a big target.

Then again, I could make it work with some hides over it so it doesn't catch fire, but that doesn't change the fact that a heavy ballista shot could take down the elephant and the Flametounge with it, which could in term set ablaze many ouf our own troops.

But it is up to @Conscripts to decide if he wants to risk an elephant to turn it into a flamethrowing tank of utter awesomness and self combustibility.
@TJByrum I know we won't be assaulting his wall, but I gave context to every single artillery piece I have.

And yes, the fire spitter will probably be on the tower, unless I come up wuth another brilliant idea to effectively use it.
Ahhh, copy and paste, my favourite pasttime.



SSS - Cafeteria "Beanadiction"

A large metal construction stood in front of the double glass doors of the cafeteria. It was looking up at the sign above the entrance with a blank expression. Of course, it's not like it could express anything, as it didn't have a face to speak of. It took a step back from the door to let one of the customers out, and then went back to his previous position to observe the plastic sign hanging from the ceiling of the hallway. Large black letters on a white plate, much like the other signs in the station. Clearly, at one point someone must have thought that the name was funny enough to attract customers. Now it was hanging sadly from the ceiling, covered in dust and some kind of a frozen liquid that only god knows the origin of. These signs all pointed towards that the owner probably had second thoughts about the name since they installed the sign. The construct seemingly got bored of staring at the bland and uninteresting sign, and focused his attention on the inside of teh cafeteria. The furniture and architecture were all amde in a retro 2050s feeling, like everything else on the sation. A few customers drank coffees inside, and some of the more daring ate from the suspicious looking dough that the owners dared call a "cookie". A line of moderate size was standing in front of the cashier desk, waiting to be served their beverages. A long electronic sigh broke the stillness of the construct as it opened a door leading into the installement.

"Why exaclty did we stop here?" Elektro exclaimed as they took their place in the short line leading to the cashier. "What do you think dummy? I'm hungry!" Pisq sounded very upset as they advanced forward in the line, and no one could really blame her for it. For a good 20 minutes now, the two has been exploring the station to find any kind of information regarding the layout of the place. They were late for the shuttle that would've taken them to GAHL directly, so they had to improvise by taking a commercial space liner. Turns out that they arrived way before the briefing was supposed to begin. But as luck would have it, they had absolutely zero clue where the shuttle dropped them off, or where they were supposed to go to, so they had to figure something out. After a
couple dozen of failed attempts at asking for directions from other aliens, they had to turn to the good old method of "find it yourself".

As the line disappeared from front of them and they advanced to the cashier, a human in his early 20s gretted them. For a second he was surprised to see the EXO standing in line, and stood there without any ideas on what to do next. But the training kicked in, and he greeted the two like any other person. "Hello, what do you want to order?" A moment of silence as Pisq and Elektro discussed the details of the order in silence, and then the cheery female voice emerged from the voice synthetizer of the helmet. "I want a single donut, of the smallest size possible!" The cashier looked behind his back at his manager with a confused look, but after a silent gesture that could've meant anything he followed the order. He took the smallest donut possible from the display case, and then put it into a small paper bag. On his cash register the cost of the donut popped up, and then an incoming transaction quickly payed for it. "Anything else, um, miss?". Elektro grabbed the bag in his hand and shaked his head as a response. Pisq spoke up again just so she could have the last word. "That's all! Thanks!" They quickly left the cafeteria and left behind the confused cashier and patrons of the cafeteria.



44 minutes later, 2 minutes since debriefing began
SSS - Some corridor near GAHL


The sight of a Combat EXO carrying an adorably small paper bag as it is running through corridors is something most people won't forget for a lifetime. The comedic effect of such a scenraio can easely overwhelm even those with steel nerves and no sense of humour. Thankfully, the aliens on the sation mostly smiled at the sight, and only a few of them started laughing. However wherever they passed by, phones appeared from out of pockets, and the cameras in helmets started recording. In a few days they would be internet sensations. However Elektro had better things to do than to worry about keeping up a decent image of themselves. After they left the cafeteriea, Pisq wanted to eat the donut that they bought, but he locked the cockpit door and told her that she can only eat it after they arrive at the briefing. That was about 40 minutes ago, and Pisq refused to help him ever since, giving him the silent treatment. He could feel for Pisq being hungry, but if she mucnhed down on the donut then they would have to stop somewhere, and they were already late. So the best he could do was to hold the bag in his hand as he ran through teh corridors to find the place where they were supposed to arrive at 2 minutes ago.

The discovery came as a complete suprise to Elektro. After passing by a few doors with nothing more than numbers above them, he stopped to check on Pisq, and to see if she was still mad at him anymore. "If you helped me find the place, we could already be there, and you could've already eaten your donut. But if you refuse to assist me for any longer, I am never going to give it to you.". Pisq who was pretending to be sleeping all this time looked around the cockpit with an angry face and smahsed her hands on the terminal inside. "That's not fair! I just wanted to eat a donut, and now you are threatening me to deny me of a single wish. You are such a meanie!" She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair, silently observing the outside through the widescreen on the inside. She was clearly sulking, and Elektro had no idea what to do with her anymore. He figured that he'll just let her be for the time being, and then apologise when they find the GAHL place. Pisq's voice interrupted his thoughts as she spoke up, focusing on something shown on the screen. "You big dummy! Isn't this door the place?". The door next to them looked just like any other room that they passed by, the number above the door and a holopad on the side. On the screen the four letters, G A H L, could be read clearly, and the company logo was spinning in the background. "Well, that was certainly easier than I imagined.". With a statisfied look on her face, Pisq leaned back in the chair, and Elektro knocked on the door with his empty hand.

A droid opened the door after a short wait. It was a commercial Security Droid, with the name "Bishop" painted over the white pnales of it's legs. "Mister Malkovich is currently busy. What is the manner of your business?". Pisq didn't think before rushing an answer, the sweet dreams of munching on a donut floating in her mind. "Step away rustbucket! We are here for a meeting and we need to get in yesterday!". thought the face of the security droid didn't, and couldn't change, the lack of reaction made it clear that it was not impressed by the answer it received. Pisq softened on her tone and asked again, as she saw her chances of tasting a donut fleeting away rapidly, and it was a risk she wasn't willing to take. "Pretty, please? We have an ID! Show him Elektro!".

"Ah yes, the grunt's work is mine as usual. Here is our ID. Apologies for the late arrival but we missed the shuttle, and then got lost in the station. I am sure you can understand." He transmitted their ID codes to the security droid, and then waited silently for the answer. The light in the eye of the droid seemed to flicker for a second, and then it lit up in green twice as it identified the IDs. "Miss Pisq, and Mister Elektro. You are late to the appointement, Mister Malkovich has already begun the presentation in the metting room." The droid walked out of the way, and let the two latecomers in. He closed the door and then began walking towards the door on the other side of the room. Pisq bent so close to the screen as she could, her nose touching the display as she observed the view. She never saw so much wood in a space station before. Or anywhere that wasn't a nature reserve or a park as a matter of fact. The cheap trick of composites and holo displays was good enough to fool her, but Elektro wasn't so breathtaken by the sight. He was quick to note that it was all facade, a pretty good one at that, but still nothing more than a simple show. Still, he didn't tell it to Pisq, as she seemed happier looking at the fake wood, than she was all day, and especially since they came to the station.

As they reached the door on the opposite side of the room, the droid stopped and spoke up. "Mister Malkovich and the other hunters are beyond this door, in the briefing room. Now if you excuse me." Then it left them in front of the door, and went back to whatever it was doing before they arrived. "Well, what are we waiting for? I'm getting really hungry!".

Elektro pushed the door in, and it loudly swung open as they entered the room. It was a spacious space with a circular table in the middle with chairs around them, most of which were occupied by alien hunters. They seemed to have interrupted someone from speaking up, and a newfound silence befell the room as most of the people inside turned their heads to observe the source of distraction. Whatever kind of briefing was going on, nothing was shown on the holo, and Elektro guessed that they were late for the presentation. Pisq could only see the paper bag that they were carrying, and taste the donut in her mouth. "Heyo, nice to meet you! Sorry for the late arrival!". Elektro shook his head and formally introduced themselves, seeing how Pisq was unable to do it. "My deepest apologies for being late. I am Elektro, and the gal you heard before is Pisq. We are pleased to make your acquaintance."

Pisq giggled inside the cockpit and whispered to Elektro with a grin on her face: "When can I get my donut?"

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