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11 mos ago
Current There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.
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2 yrs ago
Half of Blink 182 is Wink 91.
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3 yrs ago
A Freudian Slip is when you mean one thing but fuck your mother.
3 likes
3 yrs ago
A baby chicken is a chick. An adult chicken is a hen. Chick-hen. Clever bastards.
11 likes
3 yrs ago
When I was heating up something in the microwave it sounded like World War 2, but even then it still came out cold.
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Bio







Well, since you're here, might as well take a seat.

... not that there are any.


















Psst... I'm not saying that you don't know, but the pics are clickable








"I like it when the center is wet."


"You're the biggest bitch I know, but you're funny sometimes, so it's okay."
Friend of mine









Most Recent Posts

In Avalia 10 days ago Forum: Casual Roleplay


Time: After midnight
Location: In the woods of the peninsula west of Sun Elf Village.
Interactions: @Potter - Corvina, @Tae - Kenia, @princess - Malachi, @Alivefalling - Aklenroth's bony boi dragon.



Rei and company found themselves sprinting away from the dragon with a towering wingspan, it felt impossible to outrun. His 'magic' fascinated him, but did not have have the luxury to even give it a passing thought. A lithe figure dropped infront of them, pointed ears, another elf had jumped into their predicament. Another dragon had swooped into the scene, dashing right past them and into the much, much more gigantic dracolich. Is it attempting to save us? Rei thought, glancing over his shoulder, noticing the all too familiar look on the male elf's face.

During their sprint, Corvina hung onto his arm. She looked pale and unwell, moreso than before. Rei was confused for a moment due to her apologizing- there was no reason to do so, atleast in his eyes. "It's alright." Rei said, unsure if she was still able to hear him. Luckily he had decent stamina, despite his sneakers not being made for running, he supported her weight through the run. It was little trouble for him, if he could help her out, he would.

Finally, they had been ushered into a damp cave. Corvina mentioned a cave of wonders then promptly passed out. Even before fainting, she found it within herself to crack a joke. Rei noticed her shivering slightly; he took off his hoodie sweater, revealing a plain white t-shirt and turned it inside out, placing it ontop of the sleeping Corvina. His eyes then fell to the two elves who seemed to not be getting along well. With Kenia engaging in a spat with the newly joined male elf. She even pressed a dagger to his throat which caused Rei to jump up, "Hey, hey, you two look as old as I am." Rei said, sweeping the area infront of him with his arm, "But surely you elves must be more older and more mature than this."

"Were the stories about elves being filled with wisdom and maturity just not true?" Rei continued, knowing that that they were likely just embellished-fantastical stories, though his preconceptions of elves were gone. They felt just like humans, which was slightly comforting and worrying. Minus the elves otherworldly beauty, dragons and magic. It felt like a bad DnD fever dream. "Though, Kenia, ease off the guy a little, take a good look at his face." Rei said, "He just lost someone important to him."

"That aside, don't either of you have any sort of 'healing' magic, is that a thing here in Avey- Ava- Avalia, was it?" Rei questioned, "That girl- Corvina, needs it, and it's seems a little more important than this squabble."

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Now that the adrenaline has worn off, a sudden tiredness and heaviness overtook his limbs. Rei had been up for about 3 days before being whisked into Avalia. Try as he might, he found himself leaning back into the cave wall and sliding down into the floor. "Godamnit." Rei said, struggling to keep his eyes open, "We'll talk about what the hell all this is tomorrow." With that he nestled his head into his knees and dozed off.

In Avalia 18 days ago Forum: Casual Roleplay


Time: After midnight
Location: In the woods of the peninsula west of Sun Elf Village.
Interactions: @Potter - Corvina, @Tae - Kenia, @Alivefalling - Aklenroth's bony boi dragon.



Rei's mind reeled at the word 'summoning'. Someone actually summoned him- them... humans. A million thoughts ran through his mind, her words not fully settling in. He let Corvina balance herself on his frame, still seeming unwell. It seemed absurd, right, summoning a bunch of hapless humans to fight their war for them. Rei couldn't dwell in his thoughts, his mind now focused on the roaring behemoth barreling straight towards the trio. The elf- Kenia, urged them to escape, seemingly willing to sacrifice herself for some strangers. Everything happened too quickly for Rei to process, the forest burned around them. He was thrown aside by Corvina, who turned to face the danger.

Before Rei could get up, heat gathered around Corvina's hands and a ball of flame emerged and sputtered towards the dracolich, deflecting flame with flame. She stared at her flame-engulfed hand, looking as dumbfounded as he did. "Are you sure you're human?" Rei exclaimed, nonplussed. No, she had to be human, she was on earth. Then how did she do something as insane as she just did. Despite this surprise, the dragon seemed indifferent to the flame- That dragon looks... angrier, can dragons even look angry? Rei hoisted himself upwards. Their only chance at getting out non-burnt lies between Corvina and Kenia.

"Kenia, why does Corvina have fire powers?" Rei asked incredulously, "And do you have magic powers to help her out?" It was a vexing feeling not being able to help, but he felt utterly helpless versus a dragon. Rei loathed this feeling, it tread dangerously close to the feeling during his childhood. No, he promised himself to never feel like that ever again. Something built inside Rei- a mix of consternation and rage. As these emotions bubbled, the air around him began to vibrate violently with an ear piercing ring. Rei felt the need to expend this surging energy inside of him. A burnt tree fell towards the trio and with an unconscious swipe, the tree was violently thrown to the side, between them and the dracolich.

Rei would not have believed it if he hadn't seen it. He somehow casually threw a hulking tree aside with wind. He grabbed his shaking arm in an attempt to calm himself. The feeling felt freeing, somehow like the void, an image of a certain bald character flashed in his mind. "What in the hell..." Rei said. Were humans just handed power like candy in this world? He focused on the situation at hand, he could mull over the ridiculousness of it all later. "So, magic is a thing. Any solid plans to get out alive with magic?"
In Avalia 29 days ago Forum: Casual Roleplay


Time: After midnight
Location: In the woods of the peninsula west of Sun Elf Village.
Interactions: @Potter - Corvina, @Tae - Kenia, @Alivefalling - Aklenroth's bony boi dragon.



A voice came resounded from the forestline behind Rei, he had not heard any footsteps. His head snapped over his shoulder, an unknown figure revealed themselves. The stranger came speaking of advice and luck. Lucky or not, Rei had little idea of gauging the situation- 'new' world, and now a random stranger approaching them with unknown intentions. "Who are you? Generally 'benefactors' introduce themselves before approaching, no?" His voice was more mistrusting as intended. Rei almost mistook her for a human, but the ears concluded otherwise. An elf, seriously?

Rei's attention went back to the woman from his world. His face remained neutral, despite being internally surprised at the off-handed indifference of her injury. "I am fine. Worry about your own injury." Rei said pushing through the headache. The woman spilled her lunch next to her. He fished around his clothes to find a handkerchief. She- the woman seemed fine, fine enough to crack a joke about her 'Supreme' shirt despite bleeding aswell. "I am Rei." He continued, placing the handkerchief in her hand, "Use that." He once again turned his attention to the elf, "Do you have anything that can help her with her injury?"

---

"If I may, I have some questions about well..." Rei gestured all around him, as if to represent the world he's in, "This place. It would be a stretch to say we're in 'Kansas', as I feared. Do you have any clue why am I- no, why we both are here?" He kept his gaze trained on her, she seemed human but had a distinct air that separated them from her- whether it be beauty, grace or just aura. Her reaction earlier indicated that his kind, assumingly humans, weren't exactly wanted. Were they not commonplace here? Rei eyebrow's furrowed slightly, hinting his displeasure. Having to rely on someone else, especially one he didn't know, didn't sit well with him but he had little choice.

Rei gripped his brother's ring, breathing a mental sigh of relief at it not being lost in transit. This information overload was too much for any person to handle. Suddenly his air stood on end as a roar shook the forest. A blot in the air becoming bigger and bigger in size, as if directed towards the trio. A hulking dragon, flesh dripping from it's rotting hide, descended upon them. Just when he had thought it was too much, this world just had to throw undead dragons at them. What was this, World of Warcraft? "You have got to be fucking kidding me." Rei spat out unintentionally, a mix of disbelief and genuine horror draped his expression. What in the hell are you supposed to do in this situation.
In Avalia 1 mo ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
@baraquiel Join Discord to ask questions when GMs are up. But you can be either be a villain or protagonist.
In Avalia 1 mo ago Forum: Casual Roleplay


Time: Midnight
Location: In the woods of the peninsula west of Sun Elf Village.
Interactions: @Potter - Corvina.



A long, drawn out sigh escaped Rei's lips. He'd been staring at this cursed screen for a god-forsaken amount of time. The lines of black and white code seared into his brain. It seemed like nothing was working and the logs had been no help. I need a break. he thought, saving his work and leaving his room. It was already dark out- only a few stragglers littered the dimmed streets. Rei cut through the pavement into a path with even fewer people.

An odd woman stood out and caught his eye, he peeked at his watch- 11:52pm. Definitely not a time girls should walk around by themselves, eyeing the girl again, he thought to say something but stopped himself, she seems like she can take care of herself.

The air began to thin and vibrate around him with Rei finding himself short of breath, Huh, am I really that out of shap- his thoughts were cut short as the rift slowly tore itself open. Rei rubbed his eyes to make sure he'd not gone insane. Ah, that's it, that accursed project finally made me lose my marbles. Rei nervously joked, the reality of the situation slowly dawning on him.

The woman from earlier also gawked at the portal, giving him confirmation that he wasn't the only one seeing it. Debris seemed to be vacuum in to the rift, it's power beginning to increase as bigger and bigger debris were swallowed. "Hey you, girl- get the hell outta her-" Rei warned her but the force of the pulling made him land jaw-first into the dirt causing him to black out.

Rei was awoken by the queer chirping of the forest, the leaves and forestry tickling his nose. He got up, nursing a headache and rubbing his sore jaw. He gaze swam through the forestry, absorbing his surroundings. It slowly came back to him, memories of the pulsating rift dragging him in. "What. The. Fuck." Rei tried to gather his bearings to assess where the hell he was. The plant-life and forestry looked off, he was no dendrologist but he had never seen these types of trees before. "The moonlight... it feels off, why is it penetrating the foliage from two sides?" Rei pondered aloud, finding an opening in the clearing- two moons stared idly back at him.

Rei's anxiety bubbled inside him. He tried to calm himself, forcing his hyperventilation to long and drawn deep breaths. He made his mind focus on the situation at hand, laying down the facts internally; he was definitely not in his city anymore, this forest felt off, and the most difficult and insane to admit- he may not be on earth anymore. The mere thought of it sent his mind into a spiraling panic.

"Was this caused by that 'thing' that engulfed me- well, everything?" Rei said, "... There's no other explanation." Rei paced aimlessly through the forest, his fretful musings interrupted by a cry that pierced through the forest. He instinctively ran towards the noise, finding a girl sprawled unconscious to the floor. That girl from earlier. Rei thought, running to her side he knelt down, with a quick glance-over she didn't seem to have any noticeable injuries. Rei shook her lightly, "Hey! Are you alright?!"
In Avalia 1 mo ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
In Avalia 1 mo ago Forum: Casual Roleplay
Tags: @ZAVAZggg



Sadon's itching feeling came true, sounds surreptitiously emanated around both him and Vitius. He noticed the fair-haired vampire dropping into a guarded stance, pale eyes swimming around the treeline. Sadon unsheathed his sword and dagger, watching the vampire's blindspots while also looking around for the potential enemy. "What the-" Sadon muttered as the earth beneath him shook, almost making him lose his footing. Fortunately he caught himself at the last second and kept his balance.

"What was that."



The ride was uneventful, though he tried to stay awake he slipped in and out of consciousness despite not wanting to. Though Sadon's dreams kept him tossing and turning during the night, he soon learned to live with it. Choosing to avoid sleep with an 'occupation' like his was a fool's errand. This meant a restless night, at best, and a sleepless one at worst. He was jostled to wake by the stop of the carriage, rubbing the exhaustion and sleepiness from his eyes, he peered outside. The place looked as eerie as it felt- dilapidated wood hugged the wall loosely with the smell carrying some sort of unidentifiable odour.

Sadon arched his neck left and right, letting his bones crack. He, too, pulled his scarf up and his faded hood down. With a short hop he got off the carriage, the muddied earth sunk into his once clandestine metal grieves. Before looking around he mentally noted to polish them when he had the time. He had thought that the cold and unwelcoming atmosphere would subside, instead they made his hair stand on end. With the rain pelting on his hood, his lips cracked and he opened his mouth;

"Shall we?"

Sadon followed a few bodies distance away from Vitius, keeping his guard up for some unbeknownst reason.
Tags: Everyone currently present.



Contrary to his thoughts, it seemed like the red hoods didn't get along too well. The glue that held them together and kept them subservient was likely Commander Rouge and her two 'Captains'. It would be prudent to get, at the very least, amiable working relationship with his fellow hoods so that they come back alive from the impossible missions they were to be assigned.

The off-handed mention of the dead initiate made Sadon's stomach stir, this was how he they were to be treated. It wasn't too far off from his days in the Fendrel household. Atleast he was used to something- the fact that they were clearly expendable.

Sadon draped the cloak around his shoulders. Still, he had managed to survive thanks to some level of teamwork. It was a start. His thoughts were interrupted by a few teammates petering off and Brighid offering to heal the injured, she was ever the altruist. The injury on his ear was itched and stung but, luckily, had dried up- he didn't want Brighid to waste her mana. His eyes danced up and down each surviving initiate, each looking not worse for wear than when they had entered. A Hood, that had not given his name, being surprised at their apparent survival rate was noteworthy. All of the initiates exuded an air of competence, so that was slightly reassuring.

"I'll introduce myself again, I am Sadon Fendrel." He bowed lightly, referring to the other initiates. "If you need anything, feel free to approach me. With that, excuse me."

He turned on his heels, sauntering over to his assigned room to wash the caked up blood on his ear. He would likely visit the library or the armory next, maybe the 'sparring' area before going to dinner.

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