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2 yrs ago
Current There's nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis.
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3 yrs ago
Half of Blink 182 is Wink 91.
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4 yrs ago
A Freudian Slip is when you mean one thing but fuck your mother.
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4 yrs ago
A baby chicken is a chick. An adult chicken is a hen. Chick-hen. Clever bastards.
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4 yrs ago
When I was heating up something in the microwave it sounded like World War 2, but even then it still came out cold.
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Bio







Well, since you're here, might as well take a seat.

... not that there are any.


















Psst... I'm not saying that you don't know, but the pics are clickable








"I like it when the center is wet."


"You're the biggest bitch I know, but you're funny sometimes, so it's okay."
Friend of mine









Most Recent Posts

Location: Downtown -> Lone Palms bar -> Bonfamille Manor


The past few days have been hectic, to say the least. Classes for Meadow had begun in full swing and the whole Theo incident was still hot to the touch. The teachers and parents seem to be breathing down the students necks, the atmosphere was almost surveillance state-like. Connor, however, was grateful for the sense of 'normalcy' that classes had provided. Hell, he was glad to see his favorite professor again. Anderson pretty much left Connor to his own devices and spent most of his time helping other students. Though he was present for when he needed help. Connor will forever be grateful for the one night where the professor sent him messages dead into 3:00 AM to help him iron out some bugs and kinks during his final project. Said professor frequently attended the bar that Connor attends to part-time, and needless to say he hooked him up with some free drinks here and there.

Connor was out, helping out with clean-up. Partially cause he felt guilty and the other half was his parents endless badgering at some 'community service'. It was mostly wrapped-up but the Blond stuck around, entertaining idle thoughts. ... No the snitch had to be a freshman... Connor rested his back onto a bench, head tilted towards the darkening skies. Crap, heh, no way to know huh... No way- wait Prof Anderson? He should know something. He glanced at his phone's clock and noted that Anderson should still be there for his weekly, sometimes daily, drink. It seemed like a good shot and Connor didn't have much to do, so what the hell?

Connor jumped out of his seat and jogged his way to the bar he worked in, Lone Palms bar. It was close, luckily, and he was there in ten minutes. The ever-present smell of cheap liquor and faded dreams hit him on the way in. With a deep breath he took it in, it was comforting somehow. Craning his neck, he spotted the familiar figure he was looking out for. The hunched over, slightly tipsy Professor Anderson. Connor made his way over the table and slapped his back, the teacher struggled to keep the drink in hand from spilling.

"How's my favorite professor?" Connor spat with a shit-eating-grin. "Real fancy meeting you here."

"Son of a bitch, Connor, this drink ain't free when you're not serving. Real unlucky that you didn't this week." Anderson replied. "Yeah sure, real fancy, eh? You know when I come here, so spit it out, what do you want?"

"Skipping right over foreplay, I like it." The Blond said. "Y'know that whole Theo Bonfamille incident?"

"Theo incident?" Anderson said, Connor could almost swear his face straightened and sobered up.

"Yeah, well, any idea whose behind it all? Or rather, the snitch?" Connor continued. "You owe me one, prof."

Anderson frowned. "Look, Connie, I can't be talking about stuff that's strictly university business out here, much less to a goddamn student."

"Crap. Well I figur-"

"Hell, I ain't even part of the inner circle, so fuckin' childish-" The professor stopped himself. "Well, I wasn't supposed to let that slip either, so forget I said that."

"Hmm, well if ya ask me, it's gotta be one of yours right? This bash o' yours." He shrugged lazily. "I don't know."

"One from my year? No way." The Blond was surprised at the revelation that there was some sort of high-school ish inner circle between the staff. Before he could ruminate further on his phone vibrated with a message from Theo inviting him and Shiloh to come over for some hijinks at his manor.

"Leeching off the Bonfamille food and wine?
Do you even have to ask?
Count me in, red."


"Gotta run Prof, we aren't finished with this conversation."

"We sure as hell are- hey! You owe me a drink!" Anderson's voice faded as Connor walked away.

---

Connor's car pulled up outside the driveway. The house was large, while Connor's family had similar lodgings, he hasn't visited his house in years so seeing the utter scale of Manor was awe-inspiring.

He trod up the rocky pathway to the door and knocked. The head butler, Edgar, greeted him in. "Edgar! How's it hanging, the kids, wife... dog?"

Connor usually tries to strike up friendly conversation with the butler but is usually just shot down with short sentences or a nod. He's never seen Edgar emoting either. Damn Bonfamille and their stringent butler training.

He was led from room to room before finally spotting the redhead. The Blond raised his hand in a greeting. "Yo Theo, house is as swanky as the last time I was here."
Location: Cafetaria -> Toilet


"Yeah, it's spread like wildfire." Connor replied and shrugged before continuing. "I was thinking something along the lines of the originator being a freshie. Couldn't have been someone in our year, right?"

"I don't know, but they broke the unspoken rule of the bash." The blond said, taking the last sip of his soda and then crushing the can to enunciate his next words. "Probably be hard to track whoever it was, though."

"Hah. It's good to have friends in high places, I wager." Connor said. Mac had already finished off her food and was bid the blond a farewell. He shot her a smile and nodded as she went her way. "Left as abruptly as she appeared, typical Mac." He murmured to himself. His phone had been blowing up for awhile now. Gerard, his brother had elevated the panicked text messages into phone calls. The blond opted to ignore it in favour of replying to Shiloh's text. She had been under the weather for quite a bit.

Pausing for a minute he began typing a reply; 'Yo Shi. Yeah you've texted me this for the third time now. You doing alright?'. This was actually the first time she's texted him about the 'pain candy'. It was classic Connor, genuine concern salted with a side of 'screw with your friends a little bit'. He sent the reply with a chuckle.

Gerard called his phone for the fourth time. Connor groaned audibly. Returning the call is likely his best bet. Gerard may just fly out to Meadow and appear infront of Connor. The blond believed his brother was crazy enough to do that. He moved into an empty toilet for some semblance of privacy. With a sigh he internally braced himself for the eventual tongue lashing his brother would give him.

"Hey bro. Missed ya."

"Why did it take you so long to pick up the phone, Connor."


"Love you too, Gerard."

"Save it. What the hell's this about a goddamn probation!? You know Mom and Da-"


"Mom and Dad? HAH, don't even start with that, all of a sudden they give a crap? I fucking doubt it, Gerard."

"They do, Connor. You getting kicked out of Meadow isn't good for you right now! It'd bring up all sorts of issues with Mom and Dad."


"All sorts of issues!? Like what? They act like I didn't exist for years and all of a sudden they give a shit?"

"They really DO care, Connor."


"... Ohh I get it. Don't they have that shareholders meeting; they're trying to get more investments from the stakeholders?"

"It's not like that Conn-"


"The only time they acknowledge my existence is when I might make NOT them any money. I fucking get it. Alright, just tell Mom and Dad I'll be on my best behavior, I won't get kicked out. Then everything can go back to normal- with them ignoring me, right?

"Let me finish-"


Connor dropped the call. It took everything in him to not throw his phone against the wall. With a few deep breaths he tried to calm himself. The blond has not been riled up like that since, well, the last time he and his parents and brother conversed. He buried his face into his palms. He needed to relax, he has no idea why his parents trigger him that much. It's something deep-rooted inside him; even when he'd tried to reconcile or make amends it would just be another shitty excuse and him flipping out. Fuck, am I still a child? He figured that he would send Gerard an apology after he's calmed down.

"So much for that tongue lashing I thought Gerard would give me."
Location: Cafetaria



Connor flicked through the pictures and videos of the bash. Idiots, the lot of them. He grumbled internally. Taking pictures and videos... atleast leave your goddamn accounts private or something.

Every other minute he would swipe away one of his brother's message or call attempt. His brother seemed to be awfully persistent today, for good reason likely but Connor didn't want to deal with that at this moment. The day was already overbearing, so he'd prefer not to pile on any additional stress. With a final, weary sigh he finished off his sandwich as a familiar figure approached him.

"Oh hey, Mac." Connor greeted her before flinching as she slammed her tray onto the table. "Er- academic probation, right? My annoying-ass brother has been pinging my phone nonstop."

"It had to be one of the freshies, this didn't happen during the last 'Great Bash'." The blond never thought he would ever see anyone eating 'angrily' but there Mac was. Connor had to stifle his laughter as it gave him flashbacks of how his childhood pet gerbils ate food. "Couldn't agree more. Can't say I'm really digging all this extra attention I'm getting. Do we even know who took the video originally?"

"How'd your parents take the news?" Connor asked idly, ripping a can of soda open. He took a sip before continuing. "Not well? Also, hah, did you get the text message from Nate? Think he groped Jasper during the Bash'. Nate's gonna start a fight right after the probation."

"Ah, speaking of the bash, sorry bout' what happened that night." He choked on his words. "I would've stopped er, Theo, if I knew he was that pissed off. Gotta say that Cassian didn't help but... nah that's just an excuse, sorry."
Location: Dorm -> Meadow University


Connor's phone lit up the dark room, buzzing endlessly; soon a groan came from the moving lump of mattresses. "What the hell." He mumbled to himself. With half-lidded eyes he saw a cascading wave of notifications from Instagram. There were even text messages from people he knew on a friendly basis. His brows furrowed, spotting a message from his brother, Gerard. In short it was something about disappointment and the 'viral Instagram video'. The blond swiped the message from his brother away. Instagram? He barely used it, mostly for memes and following a few people from campus. Sure there were a few photos here and there but nothing that would explain the sudden amount of tags.

That was answered relatively quick as he opened the Instagram video. The video had fifty-thousand views, already semi-viral for their university. It was the fight between Theodore and Cassian. Connor found himself in the video standing slack-jawed as the two men fought each other. "Fuck. Who the hell recorded this?!" He sent off a text message towards Theo, asking him if he'd seen the video. Another notification pinged about an assembly that's going to be held in an hour or so. With a sigh he got up for a shower to prepare for the day.

---

Connor noticed people shot him glances whilst whispering among themselves as he passed them in the halls. It was likely due to his close association with Theo but he did not like all this extra attention heaved on him. He pulled his hoodie down, a weak attempt of moving around incognito. A jittery chill ran through him as he trod down to the auditorium; the whole scenario reminded him the isolation he felt in high-school. Yup, he definitely hates it. He found a corner seat, away from as many people as he could. The ever stoic headmistress began her speech.

Soon it was announced that everyone was being punished for the actions of those who attended the Great Bash. What kind of archaic, bullshit punishment is that. Connor thought angrily. A few other students whispered loudly among themselves with a few gasping in surprise. The blame was clearly gonna rest on Cassian and Theo, most likely Theo since he instigated it. As for the blond, he was slightly indifferent on the probation; though he'd obviously prefer to not be kicked out of the university since his parents will likely get on his case again.

Walking out of the auditorium he felt a few eyes on him. Ugh, this isn't going to be fun. Connor wandered aimlessly around, he didn't have any classes till much later so he had free time. He spent his time thinking on how this probation would affect the students, particularly Theo and the like. As he went through the comments on the video he received a message from Nate; a sort of friend/acquaintance. It was about him grabbing Jasper's 'things' at the party. He typed up a reply- 'Wrong person there Nate, don't think I got groped during the bash.' and sent it before realizing that Nate had sent that message to ALL of his contacts.

"... Alaric's not gonna like that." Connor said nonchalantly, unwrapping a sandwich he procured from the cafeteria.




An @Altered Tundra & @Inertia Collaboration
featuring Theodore Bonfamille & Connor Kennedy




“Man, I can’t figure her out.”

Theodore felt like shit. His head was pounding, neck and shoulders felt sore as shit, and he was pretty sure a few of his ribs were bruised. In what was probably his second most idiotic idea ever (the first being when he consumed the mystery drink thanks to his best pal), Theo was left in the eye of the shitstorm that all started because Cassian Lee couldn’t take a hint. He just had to keep on pushing Theo until the point of no return and now, as royally fucked up things were, the cherry that topped it was Mac.

Fucking Mac.

Never in Theodore’s life had he felt such an intense, not to mention simultaneous, confusion and anger when it came to someone like MacKenna Diedrickson. She was an absolute bombshell, but hell be damned that he understood her. In his mind, what he thought he did was noble. It might have been macho and maybe on some level, he did it because he hated Cassian and not because he wanted to defend Mac, but for her to react how she did was, well it was confusing. Cassian was rude to her and disrespected her without a moment’s hesitation, so Theo came to her defense. Yet, after it was all said and done, Theo was still given the third degree.

As he exhaled, wincing from what was obviously internal pain, Theo glanced at Connor with a weary expression, one that was the visual definition of ‘I’m so done’. “I’m ready to blow this joint.”

Holy hell. Everything exploded around Connor in a blink of an eye and the situation escalated in the worst way possible. The brawl ended quickly, quicker than Connor could react to. The blond was the last person that’s allowed to be judgemental but he’ll be damned if he thinks Theo handled it well. Connor simply shot an apologetic look towards Mac at her final words. With a sigh, he held his hand out towards Theo.

”Man, that wasn’t how I saw the evening unfolding.” Connor fished out his pill bottle, offering the Bonfamille a few. From experience, he’s seen Theo lose it but never to this extent. The whole situation reminded him of a few things in his past. ”Jeez man, what happened back there, Theo? I know Cassian can be a bit much at times- well, most times, but he’s mostly all bark.”

As he stood up and walked a few steps to a nearby table, he grabbed a handful into a bucket of melted ice and Theo downed two of the pills that Connor offered him with a handful of ice-cold water. He shook his head from just how chilly it was and winced with every motion his neck made. “I don’t know man. I just...lost it,” he sighed, turning back to Con. “All I know is that piece of shit Cassian Lee pushed all the right buttons and got what he wanted. Not only does he have the judgemental Lola Russo on his side, now even Mac is less to me and more towards him.”

Connor initially planned to just sleep in his car after the party, let the drunkenness fade. However, his mood to party has all but disappeared. As expected of the Great Bash. His mind drifted to how childish Cassian was acting, nearly playground-level insults. What was worse was how Theo reacted. He sympathized with him, if he was still his old self the situation might’ve played entirely the same. Lastly, Connor couldn’t help agreeing with what Mac said.

There was an awkward tension that filled the air; the gawkers pretending to be occupied were giving them both leery glances. Connor had sobered up quickly, what little buzz he had going was entirely gone. ”Don’t worry about that. Mac probably went away with worse opinions of both of you.” He said sharply. ”Fuck what Cassian and Lola think of you right now, worry about yourself. Are you alright? Do you need me to drive you home or to the hospital or something?”

“Yeah, don’t worry about me, bro! I’m a little banged up but I can walk.” Theo might have felt immense pain in his upper body but he wasn’t seeing stars, which he was thankful for. “But what I will need your help getting my ass away from these annoying ass onlookers who DON’T KNOW WHEN TO MIND THEIR OWN BUSINESS! Immediately after he shouted, all of the progress he made to find himself comfortable and in a place where he wasn’t wincing every five seconds went out the window.

Theo waited for the pain to subside and when he wasn’t wincing as much, he stepped a few feet closer to Connor. “Since I royally screwed up your chance to be my wingman, I’m giving you a different job! You’re going to be my escort and your first job is to get me from this cabin to campus without me dying.”

Connor winced at Theo’s sudden shout at the onlookers. Seems like he’s still letting it all out. The blond tossed his prescribed paracetamol bottle at Theodore. ”Keep it. Seems like you need it more than me. Just don’t tell my private doctor.” He half-joked, trying to lighten up the somber mood. ”Come on, lean on me. We’ll head back to campus. The party’s a blowout anyway.”

The blond fished in his pockets, surprised to find a ping pong ball there. The duo was pretty far from the beer pong table now. ”One sec.” He threw the ball, with another high arc it cut through the air and strongly landed into the cup. ”I’m telling ya, Theo, that was an easy win...” Connor said as the cup shook violently, threatening to fall over. He didn’t look back as it stabilized itself. With a chuckle he let the redhead lean on him again.

Theo couldn’t agree more and he walked with Connor, pushing through those who tried to get a piece of the person that Cassian Lee showed mercy to (their words, not Theo’s). “So much for this being the biggest party of the year,” Theo murmured, it being the last thing he said while at the party. This was when he and Connor disappeared into the darkness of the woods, disappointment on their minds and a gentle reminder that hype is often just that.



Location: The Hawk's Nest


Connor breathed an internal sigh of relief as the situation has seemingly settled. The tension, however, seemed to have decided to nestle uncomfortably into the background. Cassian's piercing stare towards their table didn't help. The game was a go, as Mac's ball plopped into one of the cups. Soon Alaric would follow up with a shot that narrowly missed. Connor fished the ball out of the cup; the harsh smell licked his nose. A stroke of genius (or stupidity, depending on how you look at it) crossed the bespectacled boy's head.

Keeping his eyes shut he gulped the disgusting drink down as quick as he could, not wanting the taste to linger. The drink burnt his throat yet it somehow gave him a chill. The blond shook his head; the drinks got worse as time went on. "Good god." He failed at holding back a gagging cough. "Before we continue, let's- ...fucking hell. Let's make it interesting." He paused in between words, a bad attempt to hide his true intentions. "How about... both people in the winners team gets a favour from both losers?"

"I mean a favour from me wouldn't be worth much." Connor turned towards Theodore and winked. "But a favour from a Bonfamille? That's another story." The blond grabbed a ball; crap, the drink had affected him way more than he thought it had. Still he released the ball with another high arc and continued. "So-" The ball landed in the cup as he enunciated the next words. "... how about it?"

Connor was nothing if not a showman.
...atleast while he's tipsy.
Location: The Hawk's Nest


"Might be a bit too late about that whole bartender thing, Theo." Connor slyly grinned beneath his cup.

The game ended before it began as a familiar voice called out to Theodore and Connor. Who would've guessed it to be Mac? Connor's roommate- Alaric bound right behind her. Mac challenged the duo to a beer pong game. It seemed like they were gonna play twos. The blond couldn't hold back a smile as he observed Theo's 'playing it cool' strategy.

"Alaric. Mac. How's it hangin'?" Connor greeted the two. "No hard feelings when we destroy you two."

Mac's clumsy self managed to slam herself onto a tall, dark and familiar figure. Cassian, an acquaintance Connor knew from working a few classes and projects together. Connor acknowledged his presence with a nod as they met each others gaze. Though trying his best to hide it; Theo's anger began radiating around him, hitting Connor in waves. Oh boy. The tension was palpable, you could almost cut it with a knife. He knew all three at a personal level but if push came to shove he'd have to back Theodore up, even if he'd rather the situation not escalate to anything more than petty jabs and passive aggression.

Mac CAN tell, right? He thought, watching the situation unfold. For now he would sit back, if it went to far he'd try his hardest to de-escalate it. However one look at the three men who look to be pining for the same girl shows that might not be possible. Hell this whole event had already formed a small peanut gallery, gawking and giggling amongst themselves as they watched.
Location: The Hawk's Nest

"Smart, save it for later." Connor replied, rubbing his shoulder in mock pain. "Gives me more time to google how to be a half-decent wingman."

"Magnifique!" He enunciated, mustering up what little French he knew. "A Bonfamille to add to my lists of victories tonight."

Connor felt a bit tipsy, but it was all the more reason to come out on top, triumphant. "Ruthlessly destroying a Bonfamille? Should probably put that in my C.V. under special skills." A mirthful chuckle escaped his throat. He adjusted his glasses back onto his face before fixing the table. It took him a few minutes to set the table, mixing some of the beer that was on it with the whiskey that Theodore brought. His nose wrinkled; atop those tables sat the foulest drinks he's smelt in a long time. A fitting punishment for the stakes.

The blond smirked and stood across the redhead. "Ball's in your court, T." He said simply. "I am, after all, a gracious host."
Location: The Hawk's Nest

Connor frowned at his third win in a row. His peers just couldn't get a game over him. In an attempt to even the playing field he downed four cups before eyeing his opponent, who looked absolutely plastered. "Comeon, er- Sam, was it?" He called out, trying his best to motivate him. "We're even now, one to one. Get me to the last drink." The student could barely stand, let alone hold a ping-pong ball steady. A sigh escaped Connor's lips, This is over, as the ball sailed squarely behind him, bouncing on the wooden floorboards.

The small crowd that watched groaned with some even facepalming. Connor took a few steps back, a ping-pong ball in hand, and arced the ball as high as he could. It sailed in the air for a few seconds before it landed right into the cup, spilling some of it's contents onto the already beer-stained table. The poor student gulped down the final cup before stumbling away into the crowd, probably to pass out somewhere.

Suddenly a redhead slammed a cheap-looking vodka onto the table. "Theo, Theo, Theo!" He chanted with a grin as he mixed some of the vodka with beer from the game. "How's my favorite redhead?"

Theodore Bonfamille. The most agreeable of the Bonfamille siblings, he seemed more relaxed and down-to-earth compared to the other two. So much so that they even became extremely close friends. Always confident and sure of himself, seeing him like this was rare. Only a few things made him like this- and as soon as he said 'her', Connor knew exactly who was living rent-free in his friend's mind.

"Mac, huh?" Connor said, taking a gulp of his newly mixed concoction. It was awful, but he kept chugging. "It's hard seeing you like this, man, not gonna lie."

Honestly the web of relationships this specific group had was tangled beyond belief. It was messy as messy could be and anyone looking in would probably whistle with disbelief. Connor eyed the now dispersing crowd that watched him and none seemed eager to challenge him. Four wins will do for now.

"Alright, chin up Theo." Connor slung his arm around the redhead's shoulder. "I'll help you out, be your wingman for Mac. If something's going to happen, it's gonna happen at the 'Great Bash', right?" Though he sounded confident, he had pretty much no experience in being a wingman, a few tips from Lance here and there but not much else. Hell, between studies and work, he hasn't had much of the fun 'festivities' that came with university life. Still, he'd try his best, Theo was a great guy and deserved a shot atleast.

Location: Dorm -> The Hawk's Nest

Connor's eyes strained as he poured over the pages of code an eigth time. By all accounts it looked fine and it should be working. The ever-familiar throes of a headache bubbled in him. Shit, not again. He thought, swatting at the darkness of his desk in an attempt to find the paracetamol pill bottle. The bottle was swiped off his desk, with a sigh he got up and picked it up; swallowing two pills quickly. With a groan, he stretched; his bones crackling like firework sparklers. The clock had passed with more hours than he thought, he decided that he needed a break.

Soon the reason would present itself as his phone vibrated loudly. It was the location and place for this year's 'Great Bash', he knew it was coming but this was the confirmation. This was the first year he's directly been invited, which felt great. Memories of last years great bash flooded back to him. It was crazy fun and if he had a nickel for every time he was puked on, he'd have three nickels. Three more nickels than he'd prefer. It was an opportunity to party, relax, and take his mind off the project, so he took it, even at the risk of another vomit-a-thon.

Connor would take tens of minutes picking an outfit. It would be better for him if he didn't wear anything too elaborate, he didn't want to burn another set of his favorite clothes. Staring at himself in the mirror, he shrugged. "Eh. This will do."

Stepping out of his room and into the common room he wondered if Alaric would go. He knew Lance was out and going with his sister but he hadn't heard if Alaric planned to attend. Connor knocked on his door. "Alaric, yo, you there?" He called out. "'Great Bash', you goin'? I heard Jasper's coming."

He would knock a few more times but no answer came. With another shrug he set off. Getting into his car a tiny wave of paranoia hit him. Last years 'Bash' was way too much of a close call. He checked his mirrors for anyone watching before turning the ignition and driving off. It was unnecessary but he took a few odd turns here and there before he arrived outside the wooded area.

It wouldn't be a lie to say that Connor was bad at directions. Google maps was the only reason he made it from place to place. He would've roamed aimlessly had he not followed small clumps of people coming and going. Soon the familiar thumping of music and partying entered his ears. This was it. The piercing smell of booze, red cups and beer cans everywhere, drunken students, games- Connor was there, he was in 'The Great Bash'.

The first thing he would do, almost like tradition, was find a table playing beer pong. A doe-eyed freshmen who didn't know Connor got smoked. Each and every ping pong ball thrown by him found it's target and soon the freshmen could barely stand. The older students shot looks of pity at the freshie; they knew that playing beer pong against Connor was effectively suicide. It was an easy way to knock yourself out early in the party. Of course he still had to take a few shots but it wasn't enough to even get a buzz going.

"Comeon!" Connor shouted at gawking onlookers, a cocky grin on his face. "Give me a challenge. Get. Me. Drunk."
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