With the boy out of sight, out of mind, Varis let himself slump in the chair with a sigh. He could feel the tension radiating off himself. Feeding would have worked wonders for his mood but frankly, keeping the boy around any longer would have been detrimental to his own sanity. Everyone put the Starags on such a high pedestal. Even when he got the boy, he hadn’t imagined they were even capable of lying to whoever they swore their allegiance too. Clearly he judged them without all the facts like the common rabble and that made him angrier than the boy lying. He’d have to work on that apparently.
But the biggest problem was Ryner. He didn’t know how she did it but the fact that she pulled back a natural immunity that he’d relied on so hard scar―upset him. It put him at a very clear disadvantage. He couldn’t afford his Lady finding something like that out otherwise she’d take the soonest opportunity to stick her mage’s prying eyes somewhere he’d rather her not. She sent enough wandering eyes as it was but at least those were easily deceived. If she got in his head, he imagined it would be a short trip to a sunrise viewing and frankly, Varis was far more interested in his continued health. Varis chewed at his lip for a moment before shaking his head. There was little he could do until he had his discussion with Ryner. Coming into a conversation like that in this state would only put him at a disadvantage and he didn’t need that.
Instead, he pulled out his phone and fiddled with it. He considered messaging Eris to see how soon he would be arriving. He needed that distraction more than ever but he heard the front door open. It seemed Eris showed up just on time and Varis clicked his tongue irritably. He could have shown up a few minutes earlier and he opened his mouth to make that exact point but he held himself back when Eris made his demand. Varis took a moment to look Eris over and inwardly sighed. There was nothing whimsical, flirtatious, or energetic in his posture which meant business. Instead, Varis straightened in his seat and frowned.
“Should we move to a more appropriate place or will the study be satisfactory?” Varis asked. He wasn’t sure where this was going but Varis had a sneaking suspicion this was a conversation for the Sinnenodel heir rather than his noble acquaintance and that did nothing to ease the gnawing unease in his stomach. But if that was what Eris wanted, then Varis would deliver.
“Here is fine,” Eris replied quickly, pushing himself off the doorway and walking in. It was obvious he wasn’t happy, but he wasn’t about to lay it out there just yet. The redhead was uneasy as it was--Eris had to be careful not to go imploding the interaction too early.
Running a hand through his hair, there were a few seconds of silence as Eris stared at the wall.
“In hindsight, I thought the mix-up meant things would be easier. I’d like to think at this point we know one another well enough,” He started off slowly, irritated.
“If I couldn’t take a few insults, then I may as well quit show business considering that’s all the tabloids do. What I was not, however, prepared for were your apparent ‘true thoughts’.”“My true…” Varis repeated softly before it clicked and Varis fought rolling his eyes. The damn challenge. Whatever soured Eris’ mood must be connected to that and Varis didn’t quite like the sound of that. Once he reassured Eris whatever happened in there was nonsense, he was going to murder Ryner.
“I see. So enlighten me to whatever grand revelation was bestowed upon you, Eris. What did you learn?”Eris slowly shook his head at the redhead, further aggravated, but he held himself back.
“Grand revelation? There was no ‘grand revelation’ but it was nice to see you lump me in with the rest of the plebeians,” He couldn’t help but snap.
“You’d think at some point in time that there was an inkling of change, but no, and apparently I’m the only one that thought this partnership was worth something.”He was actually getting genuinely upset as he talked, but he reigned himself in again before continuing.
“First it was just showboating about how you love to lead me on, and honestly, I wish it had stopped there--I know what I do, my pride isn’t dented by any of that,” He threw his arms up in the air, pacing slightly as he ranted.
“But lo and behold, you decided to slam me with your ‘apparent truth’--that of course I was just being used, that of course I was just another tool to you. You mocked me about how stupid I was, that you were clearly incapable of feeling anything for anyone.”Varis kept his thoughts to himself as Eris rambled, feeling his own temper rising to match Eris’ apparent frustration. Varis kept himself composed and focused as he watched Eris, not sure how much was theatrics and how much was honest anger. What exactly did his copy say that made Eris think even half of this way true. Varis let him into his home and quite a bit of his secret dealings. This partnership, as Eris put it, was incredibly beneficial; otherwise, it would have ended a decade ago.
“I’ve never considered you stupid, clearly this little game of Ryner’s did it’s job. Whatever it spouted was lies, disinformation, or exaggerations of the truth.” Varis replied coolly.
“I have invited you into my home, into this dorm, into my life far more than any other I’ve met and you think, for even the slightest second, that means this partnership means nothing? Please, spare me the theatrics. You have never been stupid. You’re ambitious and we both know the dangers of permitting ambition close and yet here I have.” Varis stood as well, far too irritated to sit.
“It is a grand revelation because apparently, whatever you spoke to knows myself better than I or you, two of the most observant vampires on this campus. Please continue. I quite enjoy having my inner thoughts dictated to me.” Varis gestured that the floor was Eris’.
The blonde stopped pacing, his eyes darkening slightly as he looked at the redhead. There was the tiniest part of him that wanted to amp the theatrics purely out of spite, but that wouldn’t get him anywhere. He needed to be careful and not go losing his temper. Not yet, anyway. Instead, he openly scoffed in apparent disbelief.
“Whatever that practical did, it went into our heads--both of our heads,” Eris replied.
“My mage ended up getting me and now he knows the truth about the deal between my sister and I, something I would never tell anyone. That led me to believe everything I heard in my part was true as well.”His hands ruffled his hair in frustration, lightly pulling on it before dropping his arms to his sides.
“I honestly don’t even care about what the mage knows, I could dispose of him any time. But I can’t…” He trailed off, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. Just remembering what Not-Varis said was getting him upset, he needed to reel himself in.
Eris suddenly looked at Varis, eyes wide.
“Just tell me who Greta is.”Varis was really hoping that whatever came spilling out of Eris' mouth would present itself as a salve to his concerns but instead, it only fueled them. Varis' eyes darkened completely and he crossed his arms to hide the shaking of his hands. Eris was right. No one else would know about that unless either Eris or himself made a mistake covering his sister's tracks but Varis was always careful to double check his tracks and like he said, Varis didn't believe Eris was stupid.
Which meant Ryner did really find a way in. He wanted to believe the boy's theories but clearly they were wrong and he had to face the facts. Ryner had him at her mercy far more than he was comfortable with. He had to figure out a way to balance their relationship. Once he was finished handling some loose ends, that was his next priority.
"Greta?" The sudden subject change threw him off and Varis' narrowed his eyes at Eris.
"I don't know a Greta. The only one I can think of is Princess Nox's trainer and lover but she died before the forming of the Treaty. What does a long dead vampire have to do with this?"Interesting, so that was the Greta that had been referred to. Which, of course, made absolutely
no sense whatsoever--he would need to carefully investigate to see if he could come up with some sort of concrete timeline. Eris tucked that bit in the back of his mind, easing up slightly as he gave Varis a look. The interest in the name had to be thrown aside, his body stiff as he slowly raised his chin.
“My replacement, apparently,” He uttered bitterly.
“A beautiful little thing, throwing itself all over you. A daughter of an old blue-blood family in charge of some territory that you had your eye on. Leagues better than I could ever hope to be, according to you.”Not that the idea of having other people was foreign to either one of them, but it was clear Eris took this one to heart. He walked up to Varis, torn between yelling and probably crying.
“If there’s someone else, just tell me,” His voice was almost pleading.
“The very least you can give me is the truth.”Varis just stared. And stared. And stared. The manipulation was a fair accusation. The mocking was also a fair one. But this? Replacing him? After all he had invested in him? Absolutely not. Though Varis did make a mental note to reconsider his gift for their 3 decade mark.
But this was what Eris was upset about? Some imagined slight against him? Varis couldn't disprove anything because there wasn't anything to disprove. How did he clarify there wasn't anything going on? Eris was always one for dramatics and more often than not they were good for a temporary distraction but this was utterly ridiculous. He let out a sharp, cold, cruel laugh and shoved his way into Eris' personal space, finger jabbing furiously into the vampire's chest.
"I am dealing with the fall out of the murder of Count Dracul, pushing my energy company to grow into previously uncharted territory, handling a suprise Chaend announcement that my peers get decades to prepare for, you've confirmed Ryner is two steps away from selling me out to my Lady, and I have been humiliated and set on fire tonight." Varis's voice raised until he was practically yelling.
"I have no time for other distractions. I barely have time for you but I make time. So cut whatever this show is, Eris. You have the resources to have me investigated and you're privy to the vast majority of my business so get to the point." Eris took a page out of Varis’ book and stared at him, though after a few seconds he looked at the wall again, contemplating his words carefully. He had the vampire right where he wanted him, fortunately, but he needed to tread carefully--angering any vampire could lead to unintended results. But as Eris felt himself deflate, there was a nagging feeling in the back of his head, a possibility that presented itself perfectly. But did he really want to go there?
Well, now was as good a time as ever.
His expression was easily a pathetic one as he mustered the courage to look back at Varis, chartreuse eyes searching his expression for something, anything.
“I just want to matter to you the same way you matter to me,” He mumbled.
Varis wasn't sure if he should be angry or confused or relieved so he settled on his most familiar:
livid.
"And you couldn't have just asked that in the beginning, instead of making wild, unproven accusations? Really Eris? I expected better of you." Varis snapped, running a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh.
"But frankly, I don't know what to say. What else do you want me to say or do? You said yourself, we're partners and I don't think I've done anything to prove any less."Was this a sign from the universe telling him something? Eris wasn’t entirely sure, but for once, now
he was the irritated one. It was either a misunderstanding or a blatant sidestep, but he wasn’t going to throw out another accusation. He couldn’t quite help his jaw drop, snapping it shut as he searched for the words. Maybe he should just get away with what he could and drop everything now. But his mother did tell him he was a glutton for risks.
“That’s not what I meant,” His voice came out a lot quieter than intended, the vampire feeling as if something had gotten trapped in his throat. Weird, that was a really odd feeling. But as he went to talk again, he felt like the words were stuck, his mouth moving but nothing coming out. Wait, was he
anxious? No, no, no, he was just...irritated. Annoyed. Eris didn’t know what anxiety was, he must have drank some bad blood or something.
“I’m not talking about that kind of...partnership,” Great Anastasia, why was this so hard to say all of a sudden?!
He was the one that wanted to know, why in the everloving hell was his mouth not working the way he wanted it to?!
Despite the frustration building, Eris pressed on.
“Even if it wasn’t real, just the possibility of not being at your side is something I can’t accept. All I want is--that is, I...you see, my head is still not completely on apparently.” Eris shut up again, hands slowly combing his hair out of his face. The stumbling was both worrying and horrifying. Was this a stroke? Was he having a stroke? Could vampires get strokes?!
“I need to know how you feel about me. Personally, not professionally.” He managed to get that much out, looking at Varis expectantly.
Varis stared at Eris like he'd grown a second head and was speaking in tongues. What in the world was this vampire blathering on about? Varis felt his anger deflate into just pure confusion. It was like Eris was speaking an entirely other language. If he didn't want to leave Varis' side, just don't. It wasn't like he answered to a monster that pushed and pulled him however she saw fit.
"Do I need to call a doctor, Eris? Did Ryner do something to you because honestly, I'm.not understanding what you're saying." Varis said carefully, searching Eris' face. Not finding it. Varis wasn't sure what kind of trap he was walking into but Varis decided that triggering it was the only way he'd find out.
"Personally? Well, I respect you far more than I do my noble peers. You're ambitious and cunning; although I personally find the whimsical, air headed persona you rely on so heavily just as tiring sometimes as I appreciate its effectiveness and the comfort I often find in it." Varis spoke slowly, watching Eris warily.
"I prefer your companionship far more than others after a troublesome night at Council or after my Lady drags me across the coals. I appreciate your mind and your view of society and…" Varis frowned as he found himself at a loss for words. He'd never separated his personal and professional life. He lived and breathed his professional life so he was struggling to do so now.
"I admire and respect you?" Varis settled on hesitantly.
Eris’ expression was blank and unreadable. He didn’t look angry, but he didn’t look happy, either. That was it? That was all he got? Of course it was, why was he expecting anything better? Varis could argue that the events in the practical were exaggerated all he wanted, but Eris knew he had been presented with the truth. And he was stupid enough to hope it was wrong. At least now he knew and never had to wonder anymore. Sure, he felt hollow and dead inside, but now the uncertainty was gone. He should thank both the count and the princess--he had been getting soft, and this was just the wake up call he needed.
The blond nodded, taking a few steps back.
“Thanks. Just what I wanted to hear,” He replied, giving him a small smile.
What. What just happened? Varis had no idea what just happened to elicit
that sort of response.
"Excuse me? Thanks? That's all the explanation I get? After you came in here, insulted and disrespected me, all I get is a thanks?" Varis snapped, his temper returning in full force.
"No, no, no. Don't even think about walking out before I get an opportunity to respond to all this!"“Your response said plenty,” Eris replied dryly.
“If that’s all I’m going to get, then there isn’t much else I can do or say. I can’t force you to have feelings for me.”Varis flinched as if struck. Feelings? Did he mean… Varis opened his mouth once or twice, words failing him. This wasn't meant to be anything more than a business transaction, a friendship, a mutually beneficial arrangement but Eris expected more? Well fuck. Varis had no other words for that and he took a brief moment to compose himself as he saw every second he'd poured into this burn into ash. That was a problem and he wasn't quite sure how to recover that right now.
"I was unaware your feelings developed in that direction. Eris, I…" Varis sighed and sat back at his desk.
"You know full well my feelings on those sort of affections. Though I supposed that clarified some things. So what now? You know full well I cannot afford those kinds of weaknesses."Way to throw it back on him! Eris didn’t bother looking at the redhead, feeling utterly humiliated enough as it was. This was all stupid. He shouldn’t have said anything. The silver lining was now he could quietly investigate the Not-Varis’ challenge to find them, but for some reason he couldn’t really think about that right now.
“I won’t ask you to take on a weakness. I only wanted to get it off my chest,” He lied.
“The stupid illusion exposed a lot of things I would have rather not thought about. So troublesome.”He turned around, running a hand through his hair again.
“I’ll take the night to recover and get back to my ‘usual’ self. Tomorrow we can act as if nothing happened. Put it out of your mind, chalk it up to having had my worst insecurities exposed ruffling me up and causing me to say the most idiotic things,” He suggested.
Empty. That's how this fight left him and he hated it. He felt like someone yanked the rug out from under his feet. Eris was a certainty for the past three decades and now he's finding out he had no idea what was going on? And Eris expects him to just go back to how things were before? Well, that would make his life easier but he had plans for Eris and if he couldn't control him as easily anymore, that changed the game entirely.
Varis unlocked another drawer in his desk and pulled out a thin case and its key. He placed it on the desk for Eris to take and slumped back in the chair.
"This was supposed to be a gift when I built it up a bit more but maybe it'll help you feel better. Take it." Varis stood up. He sighed and he frowned thoughtfully. He had a lot to think about and no time to do so.
Eris was tempted to leave without it just so he could hide his shame a little longer, but he supposed the cat was out of the bag already. He quietly walked back to the desk, taking both case and key in hand before bowing to the count.
“Enjoy your evening,” He said.
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