Avatar of Antarctic Termite

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Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
1 like
6 yrs ago
If you're not trying to romance the Pokemon, what's the fucking point?
7 likes
6 yrs ago
Can't help but read 'woah' as a regular 'wuh', but 'whoa' as a deep, masculine 'HOO-AH!'
1 like
6 yrs ago
That's patently untrue. I planted some potassium the other day, and no matter how much I watered it, all I got was explosions.
2 likes
6 yrs ago
on holiday for five days. if you need me, toss a rock into the fuckin' desert and I'll whisper in your dreams
3 likes

Bio

According to the IRC, I'm a low-grade troll. They're probably not wrong.

Most Recent Posts

Speaking of collabs, @Lauder TAUGA KERISS TUNNEL ACTION SOON OKAY I'M LIKE AN INCH AWAY FROM GETTING A BUNCH OF POSTS DOWN AND THEN WE CAN START
* * *


A small figure stood in a long room, facing the kneeling masses. Its arms were spread wide, a dove evenly perched on each one. Every inch of skin was covered in dense rags. Rags that were no longer just coverings, but had become a symbol.

The figure said, "And what is the purpose of life?"

The masses replied, "There is none."

"And what is the outcome of all action?"

"Futility."

"And what is the noblest falsehood?"

"In the face of eternity, only diversity."

"State the number of stars."

"Eleven orders of magnitude."

"And how can infinity be filled?"

"We must expand."

"And where must you go?"

"To the heavens."

"And why must you go?"

"Our fate is our own. Thus we create. Creation is the only true exercise of free thought."

"And who am I?"

"You are the Dove."

"And who am I?"

"You are the only Dove."

"And who am I?"

"You are nothing but the Dove."

"Sleep now."

The heads bowed, and the congregation was lost in ritual slumber, kneeling in rows upon the floor. Dabbles nodded his head, and gently raised his hands. The pigeons fluttered off and onto their perch.

The kilted Warden standing at his side watched the catechism and when Dabbles turned to him he nodded. "Would that Lifprasil had never touched the Godslayer," he said. "That we would not have to rely on such a cult."

"Cult or no, my dear, most everything I've said is true," said Dabbles. "It is the will and the teaching of the Horror. I do it gladly. My Lord has done much for me, and this Humble Servant will return."

"You're mad, Monk."

Dabbles cocked his head and said, "Oh..?"

"Don't catch me with your games, Sculptor," said the Warden, staring down at the alter where the slaughtered Sweetheart lay. "We each think we're swindling the other. And neither of us are wrong. Let's leave it at that, and pursue our shared goal."

Dabbles laughed. The voice was merry and cordial and almost utterly sourceless. "Have no fear, o Warden of Alefpria," he said, raising a hand and allowing a pigeon to alight thereon. A huge wave crashed against the side of Father Dominus and the sound hushed faintly through the Ark. "The Cancer will grow and the cosmos will be yours. Mark my words, the cosmos will be yours."

The Warden nodded and stared at the tiny sage. Its grip on its cleaver tightened just slightly.
* * *


A Cosmic Knight met the edge of the cliff and didn't stop.

The way down was a steep slope, not a drop. The Changing Plains had broken like a wave here. Oriana hit the rock face with her heel and began to skid down, high stone grinding away her armour and threatening to make her tumble. Only her Astartean will gripped her and pushed her to balance.

The ground flew at her like a fist to the skull.

Oriana rebounded from the earth in a spray of rock splinters, crashing back into the rock and immediately curling into a wounded position.

She touched the flower that grew from her shoulder to make sure it was still alive. She opened her eyes and saw another flower growing just ahead of her. It was a deep red rose, an iron rose, growing with steel-coated leaves on a bed of haematite.

The sun hammered down at her as she lay. The bloodstones shimmered with heat. High above, the ogres were finding another way down, armed with the spears of her friends. As she watched, a pale glow rose from the petals of the rosebud.

She asked it, "Why?"

"Because I intended it," said Chiral Phi. "It was I who lured the ogres to your camp."

She scrunched her crying eyes. "Why?"

"Who am I, Oriana?"

"You said you were a God of Empathy," she spat. "Liar."

"I am the liar and the mother of lies," said Phi. "Thus it is written in the Great Book. But I am also the God of Empathy."

"How is this empathy," she said, forming her teeth into a growl. The mandibles that passed for her lips slavered. "Bitch."

"I am giving you what you asked for. Didn't you ask for this?"

Oriana raised herself from the ground on her fists. "I never asked for this. I never asked for this!" She rammed her fist into the rock, creating more fractures. "I asked for glory! Camaraderie! To chase the stars! I thought I would die at Lifprasil's side! I thought I would die!" Her halo shone pink, healing bent bones. "I thought I would die and I was happy until YOU came!"

"Die then," said Chiral Phi. "Do what you came for." The light winked out.

"...raaAAH!"

Oriana lashed out, and the rose was nothing but a trail of shredded feathers on the wind. She looked down at her hands. She scrunched her eyes and curled up on her knees.

One beautiful thing in the wasteland, and even that was gone.

"AAAAAAAH!"

The ogres came and Oriana went to them. Her halo flared yellow. She'd lost her weapon long ago but, like the rose, her armour was nothing but thorns.

Oriana raged and gouged and ripped and tore and gnashed. The blood covered her as she killed with her shoulders, drew blood with her teeth. Everything was red. Everything was violence. She caved the last ogre's skull with a rock and smashed it until stone hit stone.

She sat on the body of the clansman and put her head in her hands. "...I was wrong," she whispered. "Just take me back."

Phi blinked back into existence. "You're alive, Ori."

"I don't want to."

"You made a mistake. I know. I kept you alive through your rage, and I'm sorry, Oriana. I'm sorry."

"Why did you do it?"

"Because I don't want anyone to make a mistake like yours. You're still suffering." The light swirled. For a moment it seemed to form the shape of a woman, gazing out into the distant sunset, but that was just pareidolia.

"I won't lie to you any more, Ori. I'm not better than him. In many ways I'm much the same. In fact, I'm worse. But I'm not him. Enough is enough, Oriana, daughter of Tyufik. Don't spend your eternity living your mistake. You can run. Run away from your pain and never come back."

Oriana said nothing.

"In the morning I'll guide you away from this place. I'll take you out of the Changing Plains, and show you the way to wherever you want. You can go anywhere. I will not stop you. But I'm hoping you'll stay with me."

"...Why," she said. "I don't want it to hurt."

"So you can guard my flock," said Chiral Phi. "Teach them that there is no god worth dying for. And how to treasure themselves. Teach them how to love truly, and how important are the lives of others. Teach them that there's no god worth dying for," she repeated. "Not even me."

And the indigo light winked out. Oriana daughter of Tyufik was left to stare at the moons and wonder at her future.
The Dissolution of the Knights


In many places, it is traditional for hain to fight naked. A sash or splash of paint is used to mark their side, and beyond this the only use of clothing would be to remove and bind or gag the opponent anyway.

A Cosmic Knight, on the other hand, is always naked. They have long since given up the option to change their uniform.

Tauga tossed her polehammer out of the ring and spat bile. A page brought her water and she gulped heavily. The one femme-looking Knight took a squat next to her and drained a calabash gourd, breathing heavily. The other one, the big coated one with the serrated cleaver, simply stood.

"You don't talk much, do you?" said the smaller one, after a few seconds.

"I don't waste words," said Tauga.

"You had some real great words to waste on the lost ship the other day."

"Fucking idiot captain should've listened to my fucking advice, piece of shit," said Tauga instantly. The Knight laughed. His name was Sevvin. "What? You want me to banter?"

"Well, if you're offering..."

"I didn't offer jack shit. I asked if you want me to."

"If... That's acceptable, Marquise."

"Oh shut up," she said, picking her ravaged shell off the ground and flexing. Tauga was so rarely out of her suit that it was easy to forget how damaged she was, a corroded husk of a hain body barely holding in the bodily power beneath. She hadn't moulted in twelve years. "Round three, hand to hand. Let's go."

The big Warden set its cleaver down at the side of the ring. The watchers who'd gathered raised a whoop as it cracked its knuckles for their benefit. Feet stamped and a chant rose as Tauga stepped into the ring.

A pale green spark flickered between the two Knights. A duet of warriors is always greater than the sum of one and one. For Knights, even more so. For a Knight and a Warden... Well.

Tauga hadn't even won their last round.

The page cried, "Fight!"

The femme knight squared off and his partner stepped forward, the numbers setting him at leisure. A yellow halo blazed above its head.

Tauga was expecting it. At the moment of the cry she'd spun on her front heel and stepped forward, carrying the force through a kick into the space the Warden had entered. Her heel slammed on blue glow. Sevvin's own halo flared the same.

The Warden shot a jab into the space she'd been and Tauga flattened backwards onto palms and feet. She cartwheeled back on one hand.

Sevvin crossed into the Warden's space and the Warden appeared at Tauga's fore. She twisted her shoulders into a punch at its hip and saw Sevvin's halo switch to pink, jabbing an elbow to his knee as he approached.

He buckled back. Tauga leapt into him. The Warden spun a hook into her skull.

Sevvin took Tauga's knee to his face and was thrown backwards, Tauga crashing into the turf on her hip. She stood immediately. Bleeding from the face into the eye, it didn't stop her assuming the guard position. The Warden's mask flickered. Sevvin crouched outside of the ring, green connection broken. It had been a very unfavourable exchange for him.

"You wanted banter, Sev? Here's some," she said. The Warden and Blowfly circled. Its halo, too, had flashed to pink. "You come to my islands because your Emperor sent you. You fight my battles in Lifprasil's name. You train my soldiers and say 'glory to Alefpria', but whose Marquisate is this?"

The Warden's orb went yellow and it threw a volley of punches at the tiny figure, lunging down into each thrust. Its reach was greater than Tauga's ability to move, but Tauga was canny and knew what she could win. The blow that put its studded knuckles into her chest was the same she used to grab the Warden's wrist and toss herself upwards with the leverage. Her heel entered its face with a hard crack as the two leapt off one another.

Tauga flicked her twisted wrist into shape as the Warden went blue. Her bones didn't fit the same way normal hain's did.

"Mine, Sevvin," she said. Despite the blood, dripping now, she spoke on. "Look around you. This is the empire you were sent to build. And it's not Alefprian. It's not even Xerxes anymore. Xerxes got eaten by the Devil. This is where all your ideas and your peoples come together and conquer. This is your glorious future, here in the dirt and the sand and the sweat. It's alive."

The Warden made a sweeping kick and Tauga vaulted over it, smashing her fists into its sides, its gut, boxing and kick-boxing the giant warrior. They disengaged, Tauga bleeding from the fists. Her aura swirled from her. The watchers began to yell.

"Show me an God-Emperor who preaches from a palace and I'll show you nothing more than a sage with a general who can't be assed to claim power. You love him because he's kind, not because of what he's done. All true emperors are tyrants, Sevvin."

The Warden stepped forward. Tauga flicked her beak and braced.

"And when you worship a tyrant-"

She spun through the air, slamming a kick into the Warden's collarbone, and was smacked from the air onto the sideline. Tauga slid into the wall as the Warden skidded on its feet, leaving gouges in the dust. The back of its heels were just touching the ring.

"-you create a god," she said, and stood.

Some crowds might roar. This one simply murmured. Tauga felt her eyes fall shut.

"Some banter," said Sevvin. "Wow."

Tauga put her palm in the air, snapped her fingers. A blood-eyed worm fell into her hand and wound up her shoulder. It peeled away her damaged cranium and she licked her bloodied teeth. "Could've won that if I wasn't talking. Just wasted words."

"Perhaps not so much," said the Warden. Heartworm looked at it and felt no fear.
I'm so down for a paleontology planet desu. I don't even know what I'd do with it or who I'd send there. I just... Want it to exist.
Not sure where I was going here or how long I'll keep her around, but new scene is around or near a big ol' huge alchemical factory that I didn't remember to describe at all. Anything around it can be made up.

Anyone who feels like joining in, just post whatever and I'll send Taidana your way, probably.
Vasishkan Institute of Alchemical Industries

Location:
Facility #36. North entrance.
Time:
Even the beggars are sleeping.


"What do you mean, you can't get me a job? You're hiring."

The man placed his palms together against his forehead and prayed for rain. He tried to be a good person. God knew he tried.

But this woman was testing him.

"What I said was," he explained, "that I don't have a job to give you. We are hiring security professionals, mademoiselle. I do not deny your talent, of which I'm sure there's plenty, nor your willingness to work, which is... obvious." Maybe if he put the words in the exact right order, like ratchets in a key, her brain would finally click. His sleek navy coattails swished in a lost breeze.

"You are a combat gynoid, mademoiselle. I see that. But you are an unemployed combat gynoid, with no work experience, no references, no official documentation, no ID, no clothes, no address, no idea where you are, no concept of timeliness, and only the most rudimentary knowledge of your own specifications. And, most of all, no clue what you're applying for. We are hiring bouncers, mademoiselle. Doormen. For our annual office party. We do not need anyone with a gun. Nor a..." He raised a notepad he had been filling in earlier. "'Dakimakura'."

"She could keep company on night patrols!" said Taidana the robot.

"Mademoiselle, bouncers don't do night patrols."

Taidana stared at him. For the first time in the last half hour, she realised she wasn't going to get her way.

"Fuck you," she said.

"Please leave, mademoiselle."

Taidana's gazed flicked from his one eye to his other, a trembling waver growing in her face, and she stomped out the way she came. When she was gone, he curled up on the spot and wilted to the floor, massaging his temples with his fingers.

* * *

Outside.


Taidana sat down on the grassy slope outside the grand entrance. She sat beside her bag, which was exactly where she'd left it, and had all her things. A faint pitter of rain was starting to tap at her, soaking her synthetic hair and cooling her joints.

She'd hopped planet for this. Somehow, using more effort than she'd ever put into anything in her life, she'd seen that one line at the top of a distant corner of the grand internet, and, in a spin of chaos, she actually got here. She remembered buying eight tickets before finding the right one. She remembered talking to spaceport staff without number. She remembered asking a million passerbys for directions, and winced.

She'd learned so much. She'd tried so hard.

Taidana opened up her favourite altchan and made a thread about it.

When that didn't help her, she cried.
Looks like this place's been empty for a while. I'm gonna set up a new scene.

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