Archmage MC

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

Alright, I don't want to jinx anything but I think I fixed it. My firewall had decided to start blocking all of my browsers.

@Subject Zero

Its probably a virus. 40 bucks over paypal and I'll remote in and make your computer as good as or better than new if ya want.

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

@Gentlemanvaultboy

Light poses a good question. Why hasn't Owlman had a digital translator made for him? Course she also gives you an excuse as to why, so there ya go :P. Yay character development.

Also does anyone here know C#?

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

Light scratched her head at how Owlman hooted while tipping his hat and pointing to a phrase in a book signaling good morning. Light didn't talk to him much, mostly due to Owlman mostly keeping to himself and Light usually out stopping crime or doing a mission. What confused her the most about the man though, was how he hadn't commissioned himself a piece of technology to help with his communication problems.

"Good morning" Light said, giving a slight bow.
"Ya know, I find your Tim Burton act adorable." Light said, giving him a smile and a laugh before looking at him with a confused look. "But why haven't you asked for a translator device yet? They made a comms device for me that works under toon physics, I'm sure they could make you a translator. Would be much faster than just pointing out words. Are you a technophobe?" Sticking a hand under her dress, Light pulled out a pancake she had put into her pocket space previously and started eating it. Often times people who weren't used to her found it odd how she seemed to produce things out of her hip area.

@Gentlemanvaultboy

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

The only downside to minimalist writing, you have fewer words, so you gotta make them flow better xD. I still wonder if I'm making them flow right.

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

Apparently all Light had to do for the day was recruit the two new metas to the team, as no one at HQ had much of anything for her to do. Looking around the base, she noticed that a few of the other team members had gone somewhere, and after asking a couple agents, found that they were dispatched to deal with the disappearance of Max Velocity. "Well thats fine. They'll call me if they get in trouble." she said to herself, heading to the HQ's gym for a little bit before heading to her apartment inside the HQ.

Light's apartment wasn't all that luxurious, just one bed, a table, and a few other fixings needed inside an apartment. Putting her earpiece on the table next to her bed, Light turned on a TV and started watching documentaries, something she had recently been fascinated with. "And people think I watch cartoons... I've sorta watched them all already." Light said to herself with a short laugh. Nothing eventful happened for the rest of the day.

Light got up early the next day, having little need for sleep. After her routine, she grabbed her now, de-tooned comms devices and left to go grab breakfast, the space around her bed looking very cartoonish as she left.

At the cafeteria, Light saw many agents going about their morning, most standing near the coffiee machines needing it to start their day, Light herself not being such a huge fan of the stuff without loads of sugar or hot sauce. While grabbing some food from the buffet, Owlman entered the cafeteria and went to grab his food. He grabbed pretty much all the bacon inside the trey before he turned to leave. light was curious as to why she hardly ever saw him inside the cafeteria. She stuffed her food inside her pocket space and followed him, asking him to wait up.

@Gentlemanvaultboy

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

@Gentlemanvaultboy

Want Light to bump into owlman, or do you want Owlman to bump into Light?

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

Problem is that super-long posts are, well, said to be a mark of merit in most 'serious' RPing sites, especially Casual and Advanced ones.

@Letter Bee

Thats a fair assessment. Just stating things that I learned in school about writing.

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

<Snipped quote by Archmage MC>

I just figured if a GM starts a new day that's sort of a signal to find a way to wrap up what you're doing now in a little bow and finish it on the new day.

Was I mistaken in this case?

@Gentlemanvaultboy

oh well if the GM said to end the day, thats fine. I skim the super long posts because I find them a hassle to read. For those people, I'd recommend you read On Writing by Stephen King or other books to help with writing. Theres very little point to put in unnecessary details. You can put in details to try to point out important things or details that spell out bits of the character without them doing said things in dialog, or details for important actions, but details for the sake of details isn't that good.

Example (My god this is going to be hard...).
Light walks down a sunny street slowly, the sun blazing in the sky as the temperature was hotter than the weatherman had predicted that day. She was moving her head from side to side noticing the people near her as she looked for someone who had committed a crime. She noticed a person with a white sports hat, sunglasses, a blue cacky top, and red jeans. She also noticed a woman wearing a green tanktop, blue jeans and carrying a grocery bag. One person she saw wore a black trenchcoat, a black fedora, and carried a black briefcase. Light follows this man...

Right there, most of that sentience is irrelevant or can be summarized. Also by pointing out all the fine details, I leave very little to the imagination of the reader. (I could've made it more detailed, but I was lazy and I'd just make it a huge madlib if I did anyway.) Now if I removed or summarized this paragraph, we'd get...

Light walks down a street, searching for a criminal who had just recently committed a crime. The people she passed by wore various types of summer cloths with sunglasses and were doing everyday things. One person looked out of the norm though wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora, and was carrying a breifcase. Light followed this man...

There, more left to the imagination of the reader, unnecessary details left out, and it gets to the point quick. I could also remove the line "who had just recently committed a crime" if I wanted to, as there is no pretext to this paragraph, but if there was pretext, it would make sense to use, so that one is in a grey area. It also removes the adverbs, which just sound wrong when used and aren't needed unless you can't convey what the adverb was inside the scene you've set. I can make more examples, but they'll mostly be adlibs xD.

Just saying how and why I write the way I do.

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

<Snipped quote by Subject Zero>

Actually they seem to be in a pretty good spot to jump cut to tomarrow morning. Like, you'd have the camera focus in on Jacks face after Cer gives him that dressing down then cut to credits before the next episode opens with him dealing with her ultimatum.

@Gentlemanvaultboy

It works... I guess... Just be very careful with day skips. Talk to the GMs or something if your doing one. Everyone can sorta handle it, what with a few people going across the world and all, but yeah, careful with 'em, just so we don't have time hiccups. :P.

The Gifted: A Fast Paced Superpower RP (Relaunch)

Just have him take a walk and encounter Light.

@Gentlemanvaultboy

@Letter Bee

I'm fine with that. Or Light bumps into him. Though I'm a bit confused on timing, the downside of progressing a day is well, most people in the RP are on the previous day or something. I dunno, do we just ignore that part?