Avatar of Byrd Man

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5 yrs ago
Current "I'm an actor. I will say anything for money." -- Also Charlton Heston
7 likes
6 yrs ago
Starting up a preimum service of content from actors like Radcliffe, Day-Lewis, Bruhl, and Craig. Calling it OnlyDans.
3 likes
6 yrs ago
Please, guys. The status bar is for more important things... like cringe status updates.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
Gotta love people suddenly becoming apolitical when someone is doing something they approve of.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
Deleting statuses? That's a triple cringe from me, dog.
4 likes

Bio

None of your damn business.

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John Norman didn't completely black out after Jed stomped him. It was more like a brownout that had flights of consciousness that would quickly be followed by dimming periods that felt like a second had passed, but John could tell serious chunk of time had passed in between. He was pretty sure he was concussed. Even in his state, he had a good idea of where he was. His face was against what felt like the floor of a car and his hands and legs were tied together by what felt like cheap nylon rope. They were moving somewhere. The car he was in would bump and stir occasionally, the bumps sending waves of pain through his battered face. John browned out again and felt no movement through the car. They were parked wherever they were. Something was pressed against his back. Something big and bulky. To John, it felt like another person.

A pneumatic hiss sounded behind him. Someone lifted the hatch of a car. Rough hands grabbed him and pulled him out the back of an SUV. He stood on wobbly legs. Crickets were sounding in the dark, and the smell the lake wafted through his nose. A light from somewhere shined. John could make out Jed's tall and muscular frame in the dim light. But the skinny man holding the Coleman lantern beside him let John know he was in some serious shit.

Jim Brown. A first-rate psycho and his cousin, John's grandpa Mike and Jim Brown's grandma being brother and sister. Another fine branch grown from that twisted and rotten Norman Family Tree. Both men had those small, harsh eyes everyone called Norman eyes. Jim Brown's eyes were always distorted by his thick glasses. Tonight, he wore a pair of black leather gloves.

"Hey, Johnny," he said, softly slapping John with a glove-clad hand. "You with me?"

"Yeah," John said groggily.

Jim Brown said, "Sounds like he's got a concussion."

"Good," said Jed. "This'll make it easier."

A knife blade snapped open somewhere in the dark. John began to struggle, but stopped when the blade cut the binds on his leg. Jed held his powerful hands around his shoulders and kept him still as Jim Brown cut the rope holding his arms together. He was free for all of a half second before Jed spun John around to face him. He backhanded him with his left hand, sending John's already hurting face aflame with more pain. He stumbled backwards in the dark before his foot found a tree root that tripped him up and sent him falling into the dirt. Jed's hands grabbed John again and hoisted him up. He tossed John like a rag doll farther into the woods. He felt my body slam against something solid and meaty, His head knocking against the ground.

John browned out again, this time coming to as the car that had carried him here was pulling away, its engine fading in the distance. His head rested against whatever it was he had fallen on. A solid, weighty object was resting on his back just below the shoulder blades. His buzzed brain made a connection to his gun. he groped for the thing on his back with my right hand. It was a gun, just not his gun. It was someone else's. He held on to the gun with his right while he groped through the dark with his left, feeling what he landed against. John felt flesh and fat and quickly rolled away in horror. It took him a few minutes to get to his feet. When he did, he pulled his cell phone out and used its light to shine on the body on the ground.

Laying face up on a bed of pine needles, his glassy eyes staring up into the night sky, was Howard Beggs. Or that's what John thought was Howard Beggs, since he was missing a face and all. The shock of using a fresh corpse as a pillow sent John reeling back through the dark as far away from Beggs' body as possible. He tripped on another root and was sent flat on his ass in the middle of the fallen leaves and needles. His teeth clicked together and rattled his jaw, the gun slipped from his hands as he sprawled out on the ground just a few feet away from the dead body. John groped in the darkness for the gun, found it, and squinted at it in the dark. Not his gun... but now it had his fingerprints all over it.

"Son of a bitch."

And that was when he saw the headlights headed his way.

--

John picked himself up from the ground as quick as he could. The headlights were bumping along with the unpaved trail the car was riding on. He tucked his phone into his pants before staring at the gun in the dark. It wasn't his, but it had his fingerprints on it. There was no way in hell that this wasn't the murder weapon that killed Beggs. He had to get rid of it. John tucked it into his jacket and ran through the woods. His body smacked against bushes and branches. A small branch slapped against his already injured face, causing his vision to dim. John's knees wobbled and threatened to give out from the pain. He ignored it, fought against it, and kept going.

He was maybe a hundred yards away from the original spot where he was left when the car come to a stop. John slid behind an old oak tree to watch what happened next. The headlights shined on Beggs' body, illuminating him and the immediate area. A door opened and a figure stepped out. The person left the door open and walked towards Beggs' body. A police radio inside the car let out a burst of static, then a dispatcher's voice saying something unintelligible from this far away.

The person stood over Beggs and crouched down over the body. John started backing away in the dark as quickly and quietly as he could. Whoever was looking at Beggs stood up and stared for a long time in the darkness. John stayed frozen a few feet behind the oak tree, his heartbeat roaring in his ears. Finally, the hidden person relented and headed back to the car. John crouched down and watched the car do a U-turn on the dirt path and go back the way they came.

Back in the dark, he began to blindly search out through the woods and kept going away from the dirt road. Whoever had come to look at Beggs' body had left, but they still had to be out here and watching the road. After all, whoever it was, they were a cop. A cop waiting for a murderer to show up with the murder weapon. John's hands touched the gun in his pocket on instinct. He stopped and pulled it out, ejecting the clip into his hands. He couldn't see it in the dark, but just based on weight alone it was lighter than a full clip.

Jed and Jim Brown hadn't killed him, but they might as well have. He ran through the events of the last few days... he was going all over town, looking for Beggs and saying the man owed him money... and now he was dead and John clearly looked like he had been in a fight. To John, that sounded like the perfect conditions of just about every murder that happens in a hick town. He pulled his phone out and shut it off. The last thing he wanted was to give the cops a chance to track him with it, even though it didn't have a signal. The area around the lake was where cell phone signals go to die. Ongoing theory as to why there are no cell towers nearby is so that all those fishers and boaters out on the lake wouldn't be bothered by phone calls from their wives.

John put the clip and gun back into his pocket and kept slowly walking. The trees and the canopy above got lighter and lighter as he walked, more stars coming through to provide a little light. Finally, after what felt like an hour, he came to the gentle slope where the trees stopped and the lake started. A crescent moon hang in the sky that night and it shone down to provide a little light on the area. It was a cove tucked away from the lake. A semi-circle of trees ran from start to finish around the cove. John knew this place. I'd been fishing here a time or two. As the crow flies, it was maybe two miles from Jenkins Mill.

He walked towards the water and pulled the gun from his jacket. He gripped the barrel firmly and tossed the gun out into the lake. It made a small splash and disappeared into the dark waters of the lake. He had no intention of making this frame up easy for those sons of bitches. They wanted to charge him with murder, they'd have to work for it. With the gun disposed, he headed towards the general direction of Jenkins Mill. It was slow going. He walked carefully to avoid injury and anybody who may be out here looking for him. As quietly as he tried to walk, the woods didn't make it easy. Dried leaves, twigs, pine cones, and whatever else you can think of was out there. It was like nature itself was conspiring against him.

He finally turned his phone back on at about one in the morning. It said it had a signal, only two bars, but it was enough. John knew only person he could trust to come get him and actually keep their mouths shut about it. But damn if he didn't want to make that call. Finally, he worked up the nerve and it went about as well as John expected. He told him to park right down the road from Jenkins Mill and then turned off his phone again. John figured turning his phone back on was probably a major mistake, but he had to risk it. It was fifteen miles back to Pickett, and no way in hell he could walk all that way in the woods with someone out there watching the road.

An hour later, he emerged from the trees. John kept low and walked towards the parked Cadillac car sitting at the dirt pull off beside the road. His knuckles rapped on the driver's side window, waking the driver with a start.

"Wakey wakey," he said.

"Little shit," Mike Norman said hatefully. He turned on the car's interior light and rolled down the window. His mean look disappeared when he could see part of John's beaten face. "The hell happened to you?"

"I'll explain on the way to Jardin," John said, opening the driver's door. "I'm driving."
Between Southern Bastards and We Stand on Guard, who could disagree? They're killing it at the moment.


The Manhattan Projects is also dope. I haven't picked it back up since it started its second phase, but it is amazing. A friend of mine also shows up in an issue with a cameo.
The endless Earth-shattering events that change "everything" and mean a sixth renumbering in as many months has led me to all but drop titles from the Big Two and stick to independent, creator-owned comics instead. I have no problem buying into a series if I know its a limited series going in and is destined to end, but the non-stop reboots at Marvel and DC are disheartening to say the least.


Image is where it's at.
I think I stopped a few months after the Marvel Now relaunch. It had some good stuff, but I'm kind of tired of keeping track of stuff only for it to relaunch just a few months later.
This is turning into a sausage fest.


As someone playing the only anthromorphic animal, if anything it's a human fest.
yeeeeeeeah, this game MAY be venturing into medium sized group territory.

Oh, well. Who needs a fast paced game?


Damn your sucessful concept!
John drove down the high towards the Georgia line. The scenery was pretty routine. Dense trees with the occasional house and the occasional peak at the lake on the other side of those trees. He passed by a group of old, rotten houses that were little more than tar paper shacks. The shacks were remnants of the old homes black people outside of town used to live.

His truck blew past a few more dilapidated buildings, these only abandoned relatively recently. Old liquor stores and bars that were spitting distance from the river. The two closest Georgia county on the other side of the river had been dry up until the 90's. Pickett reaped the benefits of being the veritable oasis in an alcohol desert. Liquor stores and saloons had littered both sides of the highway just on this side of the bridge. That stretch of highway was Saloon City back during its heyday. These little bars and stores were where Pickett at large got her nickname. When the places in Georgia finally got their heads out of their asses and allowed their counties to get wet, the ABC stores and saloons all dried up and blew away like wilted flowers in a drought.

Five miles from the bridge, John pulled into the parking lot of Ray's. There were close to a dozen cars in Ray's gravel parking lot. Ray's black Dodge truck sat parked close to the front door, beside it was Jed's tricked out Chevy Tahoe with the police grade tinted windows. John parked and headed towards the door. The front of Ray's had a sign that flashed the official name of the establishment, the brick wall on both sides of the door was plastered with ads for the beers Ray's served.

The inside of Ray's was filled with the stench of stale cigarette smoke and beer. John pulled out his own cigarette and started to walk throught he place.

"When the night has been too lonely and the road has been too long, and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong," Conway Twitty crooned from the jukebox in the corner.

There were maybe ten people scattered at the bar and the tables. The usual lonely drinkers and the few people brave or desperate enough to go prowling for tail here. A normal sized crowd for a weekday night Ray's.

Friday, Saturday, and Monday were always Ray's biggest nights. Friday was people getting ready to go to the football games and then the crowd that filed in afterwards, either wanting to celebrate with a stiff drink or drown the sorrow of the loss in a stiffer drink. Saturdays were always packed with people drinking and whoring like there wasn't no tomorrow. For some of them, there probably wasn't much of a tomorrow.

Unfortunately for John, Jed wasn't among the band of sinners here tonight. He assumed he was in the back room, near that big ass safe, but he didn't know for sure. His car was here, but that doesn't always mean the person you're looking for is here.

He got a few looks from patrons as he bellied up to the bar. Nothing hostile, more sizing mhim up. Everybody knows what he did for a living and who he worked for. There are no secrets in Pickett. He nodded at Carl Roach who was at a table with Shawna Kidd. Shawna was dressed in a tight sweater that showed her rock hard fake tits, and she was wearing enough lip gloss to choke a horse. Carl looked away from John and back to Shawna, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She laughed and pushed him away, making sure she clung to his arm as she did so. John turned away and looked down at the bar to hide his smirk. It looked as if Carl was going to have a good time tonight... that is, as long as he had enough cash. John wondered if Carl knew Shawna was a hooker. If he didn't, he sure wouldd love to be a fly on the wall when that conversation took place.

"What's so damn funny?" a gruff voice asked.

John looked up and right at Ray. The old man stood behind the bar with an empty glass in his hands.

"Just thinking to myself," John said with a laugh.

"Whatever. You gonna laugh at yourself all day, or you gonna buy a goddamn drink? This ain't no meeting place."

"Sign out front says a social club," John said, producing a five dollar bill. "I thought social clubs were all about sitting around and jawing.

"Not my fucking social club," Rya said as he snatched the money from John's hand.

He ordered a beer and waited for Ray to bring it to him. While he was gone, John saw Carl and Shawna leaving. Carl had a grin a mile-wide as Shawna took his hand and led him out the door.

"Hopefully he has money," Ray said, putting down in front of him a glass of beer with a large foam head. "Last guy that got Shawna all worked up and didn't have any money got a punch in the dick."

"He end up alright?"

"He's doing fine," Ray said with a wry smile. "Although he's no longer a he, at least not in the sense we'd define it."

John laughed and took a long swig off the beer in front of me. It wasn't bad. Better than what he usually drunk. He put the drink down and licked the foam from his lips and leaned forward against the bar.

"Say, Ray, where's Jed?"

It's amazing how fast a man's face can go from easygoing and relaxed to hardened. If somebody was watching from a distance, they would have assumed John had just told Ray to go fuck his momma instead of asking about Jed. He sized him up for a few seconds that felt more like minutes.

"What's it to you?" he asked.

John shot him a look that said he knew the score, that he knew Ray was bullshitting, and that they both knew where Jed was. He looked at John a few more moments, sucking his teeth and staring at him with that cold look.

"Alright," he finally said with a shrug. "Let me go get him."

He walked out from behind the bar and towards the green door marked PRIVATE in big, red letters. Jed's official job was bartender here. And, true, he did tend bar from time to time when Ray was sick or when it was really busy, but he had a more important job. A man comes in and asks for Jed specifically, he asking for more than watered down beer. Jed's job here was the only reason Ray's bar was the last honky tonk standing in the husk of Saloon City. Jed spoke for Ray's silent partner, the man who had provided the capital to get the place going and still kept it afloat.

"John Norman," Benny Rawls said, standing from his end of the bar and walking towards John with a beer in his hand. Benny Rawls was an old black man with hair that was still pitch black. Although John heard talk that Benny was around seventy, he didn't look much past fifty. Always seemed funny to him how some black people never seemed to age, but when they did get old, it hit them like a runaway train and kept pushing them down the tracks until they looked ancient.

"Hey, Benny," John said, taking a sip of my beer. "How's it going?"

"Fine, just fine."

Benny was the only black person in the room. Even though Ray had an all black night that always made Mondays extra profitable, not many black people came in on the other days of the week. The whites of Pickett County had Ray's five nights a week, while the blacks had Club 65 on the outskirts of town. It was the same with everything: undertakers, homes, churches, even the lunchroom at school would always split up between race. That was the way it worked here, and all over the south. Nobody forced segregation, it just happened. Years and had conditioned them to accept it and keep it up, and who were they to buck the trend? Hell, many of them thought, if it was good enough for our mommas and daddies then what made us so goddamn special?

"You know," Benny started after a few seconds of silence. "I used to know the old John Norman, you know. The police?"

"I always heard he was a son of a bitch," John grunted.

"He was." Then Benny laughed softly. "Old man kicked my ass one time. It was a few years before he went and died. I was young back then, and we was in town at the Hill? You remember the Hill?"

"Can't say that I do."

"Well, it was this place up on the hill just before you get into Norman. I was in there one night, drinking and making an ass out of myself. John Norman came in and looked me in the eye and said 'Boy, I'm gonna go around the block. When I get back, your nigger ass better not be here any more,' and he walked out. I laughed and went about drinking. Twenty minutes later, he came back in and saw me. He beat me upside the head with his nightstick and drug me out that place by my ear."

"Sorry to hear that." That was all he could think to say. He figured his son of a bitch comments had done a good enough job to give Benny his thoughts on the man.

"I had it coming," he said with a shrug. "I was acting like a real asshole. No telling what I would have done if I'd stayed that night. People liked to talk about all them niggers John Norman killed, but let me tell you something: Lot of them had it coming. Half of them were gonna end up being killed by someone anyway. I'm not saying he was right to kill them, I'm just saying John Norman couldn't have picked a better batch. Swear to God, I never met a white man in my life that hated niggers as much as John Norman did."

"Well," John said softly. "If it's any consolation, all his granddaughters had children with black men."

Benny pulled his head back and cackled, his beer belly shaking with laughter. "What's that they call that, karma? Yeah, I bet old John Norman spinning in his grave knowing that his great grand youngins is half-nigger."

"God, I hope so," John said with a laugh.

His happy mood disappeared when he saw the door into the back room swing open. Ray came out first, eyeballing him with that hard look again. Jed came out right behind him, his face looking like it was made of stone. It's a look that's scared the shit out of countless people before, and with good reason. Jed, the tough thug with the redneck name. But it was a nickname that came from his birth name. Jedavius or something like that. His momma had been one of those black women that thought giving her boy a unique African name meant pulling a bunch of letters out of a Scrabble bag.

Jed was a few years older than John, but he knew his story. Everyone in town did. He had been a promising athlete back in the day. Lettered in football, basketball, and track, and had a bunch of offers from schools. But then he and three other boys from school had beaten another kid with bricks over some stupid disagreement that escalated before they could cool down. That guy was still paralyzed to this day. Jed's cohorts had copped to the crime, saying Jed served as lookout. They both got fifteen years while Jed got two. His future shot to hell, it didn't surprise a soul when he went to work for Billy Brown right out of prison.

"Outside," he snapped at John as he passed by. John looked at Ray, but found no indication of what was going on in his impassive face.

"Now, wait a minute," Benny started. "We're over here having a conversation, Jed."

"Like I give a fuck," he said. "Outside right now, Norman. We're gonna talk."

Benny quickly made himself scarce. John cautiously stepped away from the bar and followed Jed outside the door. In the parking lot he got distracted by Carl Roach and Shawna halfway across the lot, standing beside his car and arguing loudly. Apparently, his guess had been right. It struck midnight and Carl's trashy Cinderella turned into a money-hungry pumpkin.

John looked away from that scene and right into the punch Jed was throwing. The blow to the face dropped him to the ground. Dirt from his impact flew up and covered his face and eyes. White-hot pain shot from his cheek up into his eye and down into the jaw. He was still contemplating the punch when Jed's foot slam into his side. A rib screamed in pain as the breath rushed out of his lungs in a loud gasp. He tried to yank his gun from the holster on the small of his back, but Jed slapped it away with a swipe of his left foot. The Colt skidded across the gravel and out of reach.

"Should have listened to your granddaddy, John," Jed said calmly. He brought his foot down on his and it all went to black.


Name: Howard the Duck.

Superhero identity: Howard the Duck.

Age: 43 in Howard the Duck Years.

Brief History:

A resident of a world where the people are normal people, except only Ducks, Howard was was sent into the 616 universe through some extra-dimensional shenanigans. Exiled from his home dimension, Howard lives among the hairless, ape people of the world and moonlights as a private eye.
Hopefully I can live up to that CS.
Name: Howard the Duck.
Superhero identity: Howard the Duck.
Age: 43 in Howard the Duck Years.
Appearance: It's Howard the Duck.
Brief History: He's Howard the Duck.
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