Avatar of Byrd Man

Status

Recent Statuses

5 yrs ago
Current "I'm an actor. I will say anything for money." -- Also Charlton Heston
7 likes
6 yrs ago
Starting up a preimum service of content from actors like Radcliffe, Day-Lewis, Bruhl, and Craig. Calling it OnlyDans.
3 likes
6 yrs ago
Please, guys. The status bar is for more important things... like cringe status updates.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
Gotta love people suddenly becoming apolitical when someone is doing something they approve of.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
Deleting statuses? That's a triple cringe from me, dog.
4 likes

Bio

None of your damn business.

Most Recent Posts

Scotland Yard
11:01 AM


Detective Inspector Rory McEntyre checked his watch. The Super was late. It was only a minute, but even a minute’s tardiness was something the old man could not abide. The guv had served in the war and still acted like he was a Tommy, with his immaculate uniforms and punctuality.

“Inspector,” Detective Superintendent Thomas Brown said as he entered the squadroom.

The two men were the only ones in the room. It wasn’t an unusual sight to see a ghost town in the Flying Squad’s office, especially on a day like today. The Sweeney didn't do their work behind desks, their offices were out on the street. McEntyre stood and greeted Brown warmly.

“Guv.”

“Walk with me.”

McEntyre filed in behind Brown. Brown was maybe a half inch shorter, but he stood taller thanks to his ramrod straight posture and McEntyre’s habit of slouching. Brown led them through the desks and chairs towards the Super’s own closed off office. Like the man who inhabited it, the office was in pristine condition. His desk clear of any junk or files, save for the neat little pile resting in the outbox. On the far wall was a map of London, red push pins stuck in about a half dozen spots.

“We have a grass,” said Brown. “One that has a solid history. One that says a big robbery is going to go down today.”

“Makes sense,” McEntyre shrugged. He wanted a fag, but the Super did not tolerate any cigarette smoke in his office. “Half the bleeding country is gonna be watching the game, coppers among them. Perfect time to catch some blokes with their knickers down.”

“I think it’s more than that,” said Brown. ”I think it’s them.

Brown’s eyes drifted towards the map of London and the red push pins. McEntyre had to keep his mouth shut and not say the first thing he thought of. The Boogies. It had been a source of debate among the Flying Squads of the Greater London area, the pet theory of the Super’s. Brown had become convinced that all the major robberies of the last five years were all the work of one mob, a group of independent operators who were clever, professional, and did not make mistakes. The guv even had a few names of probable suspects, a list he tightly guarded.

From what McEntyre had glossed, the evidence to tie all the robberies together was thin stuff. Most of it was based on shaky eyewitness testimony and underworld gossip. The theory, coupled with Brown’s paranoia about his list, had made some of the men in the Sweeneys dismissively deride it all together. There was a name for them that was whispered behind the Super’s back: Brown’s Boogies.

“What shall I do, guv?” McEntyre asked.

Brown rubbed his hands together and sat down behind his desk. He favored McEntyre with a slight smile, about the closest the old man ever came to showing any genuine warmth. Brown reached into his jacket pocket and removed a slip of paper that he held between his slender fingers.

“We’re going to set a trap, Inspector. But we haven’t got long.”

McEntyre smiled. “I’ll rally the men.”
Carshalton
8:43 AM, 30th July, 1966


“You sure about this one, Coach?”

“Sure as sure can be, lad.”

Coach rode in the passenger seat of his taxi while Yorkie Mathis drove. Yorkie usually worked dispatch for the cab company Coach drove hack for. He was on the young side, still on the underside of twenty. He was next in line for a hack when one came open, but he would probably have to wait at least another five years for that. Drivers didn’t give up their hacks unless they died or got too ill to work them.

“I just never done this before.”

Coach glanced over at the kid. It was cute how straight he sat in the seat, both hands on the wheel and always mindful of traffic. He’d learn the posture eventually.

“Pull over here.”

Mathis did as he was told. They looked at the hospital before Coach looked at the boy.

“You’ll do fine. The shift is gonna be busy, people going to the stadium. When the game starts, it’ll be dead for a few hours. After the game’s over it’ll be even busier. Bring the hack back ‘round mine by nine tonight and call it a day. You’ll make quite a lot in fares today. And it’s all yours.”

“Thank you, Coach,” said Mitchell. “Give my best to the missus, yeah?”

Coach nodded as he climbed out the car. He stood on the sidewalk and watched Yorkie drive off with his taxi. It was true that the kid would make a lot of money today, but it would be chump change compared to what he could earn with Red and the others.

St. Helier loomed large above him. Coach stuck both hands into his pocket and slouched slightly as he walked towards the emergency entrance of the hospital.

---

Fulham
9:05 AM


Charlie sat upright on the cot and reached for his cigarettes. Still early -- early for him, anyway -- but he wanted to be up and ready before the others got here. The meet for final preparations was at ten, but he knew Coach might be late thanks to his quest for an ambulance.

He lit his first cigarette of the day after his feet hit the floor. He was the only one who slept at the safehouse in Fulham. It was the closest thing he had to a home. Red was shacked up with whatever pretty boy had caught his eye, Coach had his family, and Bobby stayed… wherever the hell it was Bobby stayed. Red might stay here after the heist in an attempt to lay low, but he would be the only one. Coach and Bobby were so far off everyone’s radar that they were in no real danger unless they started throwing money around, and neither of them ever did that.

Voices and laughter came through the wall closest to him. Someone in the shop, he supposed. He ignored it and got to his feet, shuffling across the hardwood floor towards the sink. No bathroom to speak of in the little back room, but the sink was capable of providing a proper wash up. Charlie washed his face, combed his hair, and brushed his teeth. Finally, he took out a safety razor and got to work on his face. He and Red both had been growing stubble over the last week. It was easier for Red since his facial hair came in thicker. Ten minutes later, Charlie’s face was smooth and the only hair that remained on his face was a trim black mustache, like the kind the coppers wore.

With that done, Charlie walked back to his cot and made it up. Of all the things the US Army had tried to drill into Charlie, neatness had been the one that stuck. He could never leave a bed unmade. With all that done, he finally started to dress in the copper gear. The rest of them would be along shortly, and he didn’t want to give them any excuses to hold things up. He wore the white shirt tucked into the black trousers and stopped there, glancing at himself in the mirror.

Charlie wondered who his nose belonged to. The same for his blue eyes. None of his features matched his mother's. She'd told him plenty of stories about his father, the daring man in the flying machine. The terror of the Luftwaffe. The Yank who knew that Hitler deserved an arse whopping, American isolationism be damned. The boys in his neighborhood used to beat him and call him whorseson, dismissively call him a Yank. The word used to send him into a rage so powerful he'd be on the verge of tears.

The stories were bullshit. Even back then Charlie knew it, but he didn't want to accept it then. Now he knew who he was and was okay with it. He wore the nickname of Yank like a badge of honor. He wanted the nickname to be one everyone knew, a name that was whispered with reverence. Charlie started to slip on a tie and do it in a Windsor knot. Big dreams, maybe. But not unattainable. Thanks to Red, he was off to a bloody good start.

---

St. Heiler
9:07 AM


Coach worked the wire down through the gap in the door between glass and door metal. He could feel that he was almost there. Coach was fourteen the first time he’d stolen a car. Back then, they were so boxy and metallic a harsh word seemed to be all it took to get them to open and start. It was an odd thing, he reckoned, to be so in love with stealing just one thing in particular. He wasn’t one of them kleptos who stole everything in sight. He could walk past the crown jewels unguarded on the street and not think twice. But put him next to a sedan work five thousand quid and he just had to steal it. There had to be something psychological there, he figured. Something had to explain it.

A little pop came from the ambulance. He opened the door and slid inside. Hot-wiring was only just a little more difficult than popping a lock. With a pair of pliers he ripped open a side panel on the steering column and got to work, tearing wires and reconnecting. He futzed with two wires and got a spark. Suddenly, the car came to life and he smiled.

Carefully, Coach pulled out of the emergency section of the hospital where the other ambulances were parked. Acting like he belonged, he called it. As casual as could be, he turned on to the main road and joined the flow of traffic heading towards Fulham.
Sticks & Stones Pub
Peckham
11:00 PM


Charlie Enfield finished off his pint of lager and wiped the foam off his upper lip. The pub was packed and everyone talked up tomorrow's game. English flags draped every square inch of the pub's walls, miniature versions of the flag on sticks protruded from odds and ends on the bar. A group of pissed lads sang the West Ham song to jeers and catcalls. Charlie laughed to himself and pushed his pint glass away. The barman raised his eyebrows at him, but Charlie shook him off and instead placed two quid under his empty glass for the pints.

"There's my favorite American!"

A weathered hand touched the back of Charlie's hand. He turned and saw Sid the Yid's thick glasses staring up at him. Sidney Greenstein, Sid the Yid to the street, operated the fourth largest shylock operation and sports book in South London. Charlie couldn't begin to calculate how much money he'd lost to Sid over the years. The older man pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and blinked as Charlie offered him a half-hearted greeting, doing his best to smile.

"I'm not putting no money on the game," Charlie said with the shake of his head. "The line ain't strong enough to put money down on England, and I sure as hell ain't putting as much as a single shilling on the Krauts."

"Bah," Sid spat. "You and half of fucking South London. Them's thats putting money on it are all betting England. All these wankers and bums suddenly become John Bull overnight. I need bets on West Germany to even the odds."

Charlie let him complain while he lit up a cigarette. He placed the pack back in his jacket pocket and pulled out a twenty pound note. Sid eyed it.

"I'll put this on an over-under."

"Over under is four goals," Sid said, never looking away from the note. "Twenty quid will pay out to eighty pounds."

"I'll take the under," said Charlie.

Sid snatched the cash from Charlie. The note disappeared from Sid's hands with the practiced speed that only a shylock had. They talked a few more minutes, mostly about underworld gossip that both of them had heard over the past few days. Who was fucking whose old lady, and who was planned to be fucked over for fucking someone's old lady. All crooks gossiped, but Sid was like an old woman getting her hair fixed. He seemed to trade in rumors almost as much as he traded in cash and coin. That came in handy most of the time. But not right now. Not when Charlie had to keep it quiet.

Ten minutes was all he could take before excusing himself and stepping outside. He finished a cigarette and stomped the butt out before checking his watch. Almost right on time was the taxi that pulled up to the curb. It's on-duty light was out. Charlie got in and looked at the heavyset man with thick eyebrows, a wool peaked cap hiding his balding head.

"Coach."

---

James "Coach" Crowder pulled away from the curb and back onto the road. Charlie lit up a fresh cigarette and offered him one, like he always did. Red sometimes joked that the cigarette company must give Charlie commission for every fag he pushed onto someone. Coach used to smoke, but he managed to kick the habit a long time ago. He still liked the smell. There wasn't in harm in that.

"You talk to Red?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah," said Coach. "This run here is the next to last piece. I've got to nick one more thing in the morning, but it'll be easy enough."

Charlie grunted and Coach glanced over in his direction.

"You okay to drive?"

"Just had two pints," Charlie said with a shrug. "I've been more pissed during jobs."

"Do us a favor and crack the window."

Charlie complied and let the wind take his excess smoke away. They remained silent on the drive south. The Yank had a certain charm to him, a charm that Coach was mostly immune to. They worked together fine and had no problems, but they never made small talk and would never be anything like being friends. That was okay with Coach. He wasn't here to make friends. His eyes glanced up at the photo of his three children tapped to the sun visor. They were the reason he was here, driving a hack and whatever he needed to do to make ends meet.

When they hit East Dulwich Charlie sat upright in his seat and gave directions. A few minutes later they came to a petrol station and garage nestled off the main road. All the lights were out, save for one dim bulb that burned inside. Coach parked and they headed towards the door. He could tell from the way Charlie walked that he was armed. He bit his tongue in order to keep silent about it. Stupid thing to do, carrying a gun. Coach knew they were a necessity for the line of work they were in, but right now there was no need for it. Just a needless risk.

"Open up," Charlie said loudly, rapping on the metal roll-up door of the garage. "Red sent us."

A few moments later the door started up. An old man in grease stained overalls greeted them before beckoning them inside.

"So who do you think's gonna win tomorrow?" The old man asked.

"England," was all Charlie said as they walked through the garage, past Vauxhall Victor on blocks, all its tires removed. "Watch the Wingless Wonders fly."

"Hoping they do," said the man. "My generation beat the Hun, generation after that took it to Jerry, so I have little doubt about the lads ability to contain Franz Beckenbauer."

They were led to the back of the garage and through a door. Parked amidst junkers was a black '56 Wolseley done up with official Metropolitan Police Force accoutrements. As close to the real thing as you could get. Coach smiled and looked it over. In the back he saw two piles of clothing folded neatly, bobby caps on top of each pile.

"Damn strange request," said the old man. "Damn strange. Never seen nothing like it before."

"It's why we pay you so much," said Coach. "You can handle strange, pops."

He looked from Coach to Charlie."Just... promise me it ain't gonna end roughly."

Charlie looked at the old man and shook his head.

"You know what we do, pops. Our mob ain't in the murder business."

"I know, but it's the copper outfits. I don't want you to go all St. Valentine's Day on some wankers, bringing trouble back to my door."

Charlie laughed. "This go sideways, The Sweeney are gonna have bigger fish to fry than some South London geezer."

Coach looked at Charlie, his eyebrows raised. "Good?"

"Yeah, I'll drive it over and sleep there for the night."

"Get some rest. Big day tomorrow."

Charlie nodded before climbing into the mock cop car. Coach passed the old man and shot him a mock salute, smiling to himself as he headed back to his taxi. He watched the Wolsely roar down the road past him, Charlie honking the horn playfully as he passed. Coach climbed into the car and shook his head.

"The fucking self-proclaimed criminal mastermind of the London Underworld, ladies and gents. Flying like a bat out of hell with an illegal weapon on his person."

Coach checked the clock on the dash and sighed. He'd find the nearest payphone and ring Red that they'd gotten the car and uniforms. He still had another hour before he needed to be home for the kids. Flicking the off-duty light to on-duty, he headed out into the night in search of a fare.
Also, this one. It's American, but it has the right tone:

Required viewing:



OFFICIAL METROPOLITAN POLICE REPORT
FOR INTERNAL DISTRIBUTION ONLY



NAME:
Charles Enfield
DOB:
26/5/1939
HEIGHT: 6'0
WEIGHT: 185 pounds.
HAIR COLOUR: Black
EYE COLOUR: Blue
KNOWN ALIASES:
"THE YANK", "CHARLIE WHITEBREAD", "CHUCK BRIXTON"

HISTORY:

Charles Enfield, aka "The Yank", et. al, is the suspected second in command of an armed robbery gang operating in the Greater London area. Born in 1939 to a prostitute in Brixton, Enfield was arrested at the age of twelve for attacking a group of neighborhood bullies (See: Met file 3579551). When interviewed by PC H. Bingham, the boy said that the attack, which required all boys be admitted to hospital, came after relentless teasing about his mother's line of work, and the unknown man who was his father. During PC Bingham's interview, Enfield revealed that his mother had told him his father was a US air pilot who came to London during the War, and was shot down and killed over Germany. (See Met field report #852369) Based on Enfield's DOB and later inquires he made in America, it is assumed this story was a fiction his mother spun to keep him happy.

Subsequently, Enfield was arrested all throughout his teenage years for crimes ranging from petty theft, to battery, to even pepping. (See Addendums 257895, 1789623, and 3009513846 respectively) For these crimes, Enfield spent months to years long stretches in juvenile reformatory centers, where he was reported to be a model prisoner. At the age of eighteen, Enfield enlisted in the US Army, claiming his false half-american lineage and seeing the enlistment as an easy path to American citizenship. (See: US DoD File #91478963)

Private Enfield's anti-social behaviour did not stop once he enrolled in the Army. He was cited many times for infractions of Army Code of Conduct both small and large, and then finally arrested on 10/11/59 for assaulting a superior officer. Enfield was dishonourably discharged, his US citizenship revoked, and he was sentenced to a year at a military prison in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas. (See: US DoD File #60508033) Like as a teenager, Enfield's behaviour in prison was a stark contrast to how he acted on the street. He was granted early release in the autumn of 1960 and shipped back to England, back to Brixton.

Enfield popped back up on the Met's radar in early 1961, when the Brixton Flying Squad caught a photo of him working the door at The Kit Kat Klub, a gentlemen's club suspected to be a whorehouse and owned by Brixton gangster "Irish" Jim Doyle. (See: Met Intelligence dossier #446359) Enfield was off door duty by the time the Flying Squad returned to the Kit Kat Klub for second surveillance stint one month later.

Around the time of the second surveillance, a man matching Enfield's general height and weight was part of a four-man crew that robbed an armoured car of 25,000 pounds in small denominations. All four men wore ski-masks during the robbery to hide their faces. Enfield is only listed as a probable suspect because a grass informed the Brixton Flying Squad that armed guard James Harris was found out to be in debt to Jim Doyle for over five thousand pounds. (See: Met Flying Squad case file #4964123) Any further inquiries into the ties ended when Harris was found shot to death in his home. (See: Met Homicide file #09081961) Doyle was brought in for questioning, but released.

Since that time, Enfield has been suspected of pulling off as many as a dozen heists in the Greater London area, with some links that he may have helped in robberies in Northern England. Underworld chatter has it that Enfield is seen as a tough figure, and his experience in the US military has given him extensive firearm training -- something many in the criminal underworld see as an intimidating factor -- which matches with descriptions of at least one of the masked robbers in the suspected heists.

The four-man crew Enfield helps run is suspected to be affiliated with one of the major criminal mobs in London, but all grasses have conflicting reports as to who they work and pay protection to. Well-connected, well-trained, and well-equipped, Enfield and his Crew are a threat to the safety of the people of London. It is in my opinion that Enfield and the rest should be surveilled around the clock in order to stop the next robbery before it can happen. Make no mistake, it will happen again.

Sincerely,

Detective Superintendent Thomas Brown
Metropolitan Police Force Organised Crime Division
25/6/1965


Part 3:
"Barbarism Begins at Home"


Mood Music

Washington Heights
5:12 AM


Morrissey crooned out of Bullseye's earbuds. In his honest opinion, no assassin's playlist could be considered complete without The Smiths. Morrissey's angsty and playful lyrics, accompanied Johnny Marr's great guitar riffs, provided the perfect soundtrack for murder.

Bullseye could see the entire street below from his vantage point on the rooftop. Through the scope of his sniper rifle, he watched the unmarked police car skid to a stop outside the five story walk-up building. Detectives Jimmy Burke and Mikey Thompson jumped out the car and rushed into the building as "Barbarism Begins at Home" reach its chorus.

Unruly boys who will not grow up
Must be taken in hand.


After killing Malone, Bullseye tossed the apartment and found a stack of documents hidden behind a baseboard in the kitchen. He wasn't sure if Malone was the group's record keeper, or if he had the stash for insurance, but Bullseye found it regardless of the dead cop's intent. Records of money laundering and off-shore bank accounts, proof that the bulk of the dirty money the squad received got passed on to lawyers, judges, and politicians. A whole spider-web of corruption, with Abbott and his men at the center.

Among the documentation had been information about the Washington Heights apartment that was in Malone's ex-wife's name. The apartment hadn't been listed in any IA financial audit of Malone or the rest of the squad. Something valuable was in that apartment. The two cops showing up so soon after Malone's death was proof of that. It would have been much easier for him to break into the apartment and wait to ambush Burke and Thompson from there. But he'd killed Malone up close and didn't want to repeat himself. After all, wasn't variety the spice of life?

A light came on in the apartment a few minutes after the cops went inside. He saw them rushing through a room in search of something. He saw Burke shoot upright and laugh before letting his breath out. Whatever it was, they found it. Bullseye put Burke's smiling face in the middle of his crosshair.

A crack on the head is what you get for not asking
And a crack on the head is what you get for asking


He let his breath out slowly and squeezed the sniper rifle's trigger.

---

Harlem
5:13 AM


Raymond Jones stared down the barrel of a gun. Sergeant Vince Abbott, his eyes wide, stood in front of him with his service glock inches away from Jones' face. Jones was completely naked, having just bedded down for the night with two of his women when Abbott and one of his boys came through the door. The two girls were still in the bed beside him, sheets pulled up around their breasts.

"Call it off, Jones," Abbott screamed.

"Call what off?"

The barrel of the gun struck him across the side of his head. He swayed and stumbled back a few feet, but he stayed upright and felt blood starting to drip from his temple.

"You motherfuc--"

Abbott pushed him backwards until he was pressed against the wall.

"Don't play dumb with me! I start squeezing you for more money, and the next thing I know Malone is killed. Not only is he killed, there are promises to kill the rest of us. Tell me now or I will paint the back of this fucking wall with your brains."

Jones chuckled. His head hurt so bad that even that small allowance shot red hot pain through his skull.

"You kill me and there's no way to call anything off."

Abbott didn't miss a beat. He stepped back and aimed his gun at the two women on the bed while maintaining eye contact with Jones.

"You think I care about them hoes?" Jones laughed, showing off his rows of metallic teeth. "Bitches like that are a dime a dozen. C'mon, Mr. Police. Got any more threats? Gonna threaten to run me in? On what grounds, motherfucker?"

Abbott started to answer when his phone began to ring. He answered it without looking away from Jones.

"Yeah?"

His mad look disappeared. One of worry replaced it.

"Wait, what the fuck? Say that again."

---

Washington Heights
5:15 AM


"Jimmy's dead," Mike Thompson cried into the phone. "I got a fucking sniper over at the apartment. Got me pinned down."

Mikey gripped the phone with one hand, his service weapon with the other. He was crouched against a wall. The place had no furniture, so the walls out of sight from the windows were the only place to hide. Jimmy Burke's body lay just a few feet away, a huge chuck of the side of his face gone.

"Have you called the cops?" Abbott asked over the phone.

"I called you first, Vinny. Dispatch is the second call."

"Don't call them."

"What?"

"Think about what we got in that apartment, Mikey. We're on our way. Just, get out of sight and be calm. We're on the fucking way."

The call ended and Thompson swore loudly. He sat there for a few minutes, breathing heavily and sweating. It was easy for Vinny to say that shit from wherever the fuck he was. He wasn't here. He hadn't heard the shot, so loud it was still ringing in Mike's ears. He didn't have to look at Jimmy's dead body, still oozing blood out in the hardwood floor.

"Fuck this," he said and started to dial 911.

"I got shots fired, and an officer down here at--"

He stopped speaking when he heard the door fly open. Could it be Vinny and backup. He peaked around the corner of the wall towards the door. A... man in a costume stood in the doorway, white earbuds stuck in his ear and something metallic and sharp in his hand. Was that... a fucking throwing star?

"Hi."

Thompson turned the corner and raised his gun. He got a shot off just as the costumed man threw whatever it was from his hand. The door frame above the man exploded in a chunk of wood chips. A microsecond later he felt something hard hit him in the forehead. The force of it dropped him to the ground, a sharp pain accompanying the blow. He suddenly realized he couldn't see, but he could feel pain and blood and something solid and sharp in his forehead.

Thompson let out a gasp when he realized what it was. That realization would be one of the last conscious thoughts he would have as his brain began to shut down from the blunt force trauma and destruction from the throwing star.

---

Bullseye stepped over the two dead bodies and found what it was they had come to the apartment to find. A ripped up floorboard panel revealed two zipped up gym bags. He reached down and zipped them open. One was stuffed to the brim with cash, the other with three neatly packed kilos of heroin. For Abbott and the cops, the cash and dope was worth dying for, and especially worth killing for.

With a smile, Bullseye grabbed both bags and slung them over his shoulder. He stopped by Thompson's body and grabbed his cell phone. He'd need it later for his final play. The Smiths faded and the O'Jays started to sing "For the Love of Money." Maybe a little on the nose? Perhaps, but his phone was on shuffle so what could he do? With the O'Jays still singing, Bullseye walked out the door with the dirty cops' stash as police sirens started to sound from somewhere close by.
Yeah, I couldn't tell. The cops in the Bullseye story don't have any high-tech weapons.
<Snipped quote by Byrd Man>

I don't work that way, m8.


You do you then, homie.
Boo your WIP. Just hold off until it's all done and post then.
© 2007-2026
BBCode Cheatsheet