Captain Uni

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>

Whoops, I thought it was a Husky.

@Lord Wraith

I dunno, it's an animal doing something funny, it's good enough for me.

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>

You've changed your avatar again.

@Byrd Man gonna be angry.

You won't like him when he's angry.

@Lord Wraith

Forgive me @Byrd Man, I just really like this picture of a polar bear using a bucket as a helmet.

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>

Isn't that his origin story?

"How'd you become a hero?"

"I died."

@Lord Wraith

Well now he's ultra dead.
_{Not really tho.}

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Oh nooooooo Vigilante ded
_{not really tho}

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Evening
The Crossroads Saloon; Warpath, Texas

---

ISSUE #15
GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY
PART FIVE

---

They wouldn't stop coming. I only had a few rounds left, and I picked my shots carefully, letting Greg go after the others. But no matter how hard we fought, it seemed that for every Hunter we killed, two more rose in its place. We had to make sure this place blew and fast. We were down to our last leg. As if sensing my thoughts, I heard Greg call out:

”Frank! End game time, compadre! Meet ‘cha out back!”

@DocTachyon

Time to go. I nodded to him, breaking out into a sprint to the backdoor of the saloon. I waited for Greg by the door, keeping my pistols at the ready in case any of the Hunters found their way back here. We'd set up the trip wire in the doorway. As soon as it went, we had about ten seconds to get away before the whole place went up in flames. Hopefully, that'd be enough time.

*CRASH!*

The window to my right turned into a cloud of glass, a Hunter bursting through and swinging a hatchet at me. I stumbled backwards but recovered quickly, firing off a few rounds at him as I fell to the ground. He disappeared into a cloud of smoke as I landed on my ass with a thud. Pulling myself up with a grunt, I realized that I had went through the doorway... And pulled the tripwire along the way. "SHIT! GREG! GET OUT!"

I could only pray that he heard me and began to run. I ran away from the saloon, counting to ten in my head all the while. I didn't run into any Hunters as I got a block or so away. They were probably all in the saloon by now. Hopefully, it was only them in there...

*Krak-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

The saloon exploded in a ball of fire behind me, the force being enough to send me face first into the ground from a block away. I pushed myself up and turned around, staring in awe at the fire. The saloon was nothing but a pile of rubble, and what was left standing of it was burning down fast. That definitely took care of the Hunters.

And as I looked around, I didn't see Greg in sight.

"No... Oh, God, no." I began to sprint back towards the saloon, shouting my partner's name all the while in the hopes that he had somehow made it out in the nick of time. My cries went unanswered, and I fell to my knees. It was just as I had dreaded: Greg Saunders was dead. All I could do was choke out a small sob as the knowledge hit me.

I don't know why I was so affected by the death of a man I had only known for two days. Maybe it was because he had offered camaraderie like I had never felt before. Maybe it was because he was the only other vigilante I had met who didn't want me to rot in jail. Maybe it was because it was my fault that he had met his untimely death.

I hung my head, sitting in front of the remains of the Crossroads Saloon.

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

5:28 PM; January 15th, 2026
Downtown Gotham; Gotham City, New Jersey
'Making my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass, and I'm home bound... Cue the piano.'
"We don't need to know how he met his damned pet! Keep going, find the numbers."

Work went about as well as it usually did. David began to make his way home in full Big Belly Burger uniform, a burger clutched in his hand serving as his dinner. A part of him wished that he had enough money to afford driving his motorcycle everywhere, but it was always nice walking around the city... Well, most of the time. Gotham definitely wasn't as bad off as he remembered it being. He could probably thank... Them... For that. He shook his head to clear it of those thoughts, continuing to walk along the sidewalk and not paying much attention to his surroundings.

That is, until he heard a bark behind him. He turned around, seeing a dog sitting there, staring intently at the burger he held in his hand. Looking between the dog and the burger, David shrugged, took one last bite, and tossed it to him. The dog ate it up quickly, giving another bark. "Yeah, you're welcome." Sticking his hands in his pockets, he continued to walk home.

About a block away, he realized the dog was still following him. "Hey, don't you have an owner or something? Scram. Get. Shoo." The dog didn't move from his spot, staring up at David and tilting his head to the side as though in curiosity. David's shoulders slumped a bit. "... Fine. You can walk with me. But you're not going to come into my house." The dog barked at that, picking up the pace and walking side by side with David.

A block later, David found himself occasionally reaching a hand down to scratch behind the dog's ear. After another block, he began to kneel down and pet it a bit while waiting to cross the street. Another block after that, and David began to talk to the dog. Mostly just calling him a good boy, musing on what his name might be. "I'm guessing you don't have a family? No collar on you, you look kinda grungy too." The dog just stared at him with a smile, wagging his tail. "Yeah, I don't have one either."

Try as he might, by the halfway point of the walk, David was growing quite fond of the dog. "Hm... What should I call you?" Obviously, the dog didn't answer his question, but he did look up at him. David thought that the dog quirked an eyebrow at him, as if saying "really? You're asking me, the animal that can't speak?". "Well, yeah, but... I should come up with some kind of name for you." Okay, now the dog really did quirk his brow at him. "How about... Max? You like that name?" The dog, or Max now, barked. "Alright. Max it is."

And so, David and Max headed home. As soon as David opened the door to his apartment, Max ran in, jumping up onto the couch. "Yeah, don't get too comfortable or anything." David chuckled, heading into the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of whiskey out of the fridge and a plastic cup off the counter. "Gonna have to get you a bowl, and some dog food. Big Belly Burger isn't healthy for humans, let alone animals, so you can't be having that stuff." Max let out a small whimper at that.

David turned on the TV, watching the news. He began to drink. As he did, Max stared at him, almost like he was judging his new owner. David looked back at him, rolling his eyes. "What? You try living my life, see if you don't feel like falling into a bottle." The dog snorted at his owner, as if unimpressed. "Yeah, screw you too, pal..."

David continued to watch the TV. Eventually, the news faded into commercial break... And David immediately turned off the television at the sight of a Kasimir Realty commercial, featuring his mother. Max looked at David expectedly, as if to say "you're gonna tell me, might as well get it out of the way." David sighed. "That was my mom." Max continued to stare at David. "I... Haven't seen her in a while. Haven't seen my... My brother in a while either."

David remembered better times. Driving around in his Camaro with his brother, the radio blaring Queen at max volume, crumpled paper bags Big Belly Burger in the backseat. Everything was good. The world wasn't in the best of shape, but it would all turn out fine. As long as the three of them had each other, they could topple the world.

And then, everything went bad.

He's still trying to forgive himself for the things he did in the Middle East. But he doesn't think he'll ever be able to forgive himself for the pain he caused his family.

'They deserved it, Dave. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and stop lazing around when we have a job to do.'

'Go to hell, Hood, I'm not in the mood.'

'Feisty, ain't ya?'

David didn't reply to the man riding shotgun in his brain, instead preferring to let him steam over being brushed off.

As if sensing David's uneasiness, Max scooted himself up a bit closer, resting his head on David's lap. Smiling slightly, David began to pet the dog, letting out a breath of relaxation. "... Maybe things won't be so bad from now on now that I've got someone to vent to." As he said that, he heard the quiet snoring coming from the canine, and chuckled. "Even if he doesn't care too much about hearing my complaints."

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

11:48 AM; January 5th, 2026
Hub City General Hospital; Hub City, Illinois

He licked at his knuckles a bit, clearing off the bits of his dried blood from them so no one could see it. He didn't need to be asked how that happened. He ate wordlessly, listening to his friend Rita chatter on about her own life, while only thinking about what he was going to do tonight. The Question picked at his foo- no. That's not his name...

Oscar.

He was Oscar.

Wasn't he?

It had been so long since he thought of himself as Oscar.

But he was still Oscar.

Oscar...

Oscar.

Oscar!

"Oscar!"

Oscar was shaken out of his thoughts by Rita's voice. "You okay? You're not looking too good."

"Yeah. Just been... A bit out of it, these days. Haven't gotten much sleep."

"Well, you need to change that. Staying up all night doing whatever it is you do isn't good for your health."

Oscar tried to put on a goofy grin, but it came off as far more forced than he wanted it to. "Right, because you're an expert on health?"

Rita rolled her eyes, apparently not catching onto the forced nature of Oscar's grin as she gave one of her own. "You know, you're right, it's not like I'm a nurse or anything. Oh, wait."

The pair chuckled at that, continuing to eat lunch. It was moments like these that made Oscar remember that there was something beyond kicking the shit out of criminals. It reminded him of better times, when he wasn't so absorbed in his crusade. Better times...

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

12:03 PM; January 11th, 2026
Big Belly Burger, Downtown Gotham; Gotham City, New Jersey
'The lunch rush. Dear God, the lunch rush.'
"This isn't working! These memories don't mean anything. Why don't we pry his head open? We need to know what the numbers mean."

Work was never easy. If it wasn't for the fact that it was the only job he could get, David would have jumped at the chance to have a job that wasn't prone to making people go grey from stress. He had a hard enough time keeping his own anger in check dealing with customers who were clueless, obnoxious, rude, or, God forbid, all of the above, never mind trying to reign in the nigh uncontrollable anger of a certain psychopath he was sharing a body with. If he had to listen to Hood scream bloody murder in his head one more Goddamn time...

"Uh, excuse me. I'd like to order." David blinked, focusing his attention on the customer in front of him. An older man, a teenage girl glued to her phone beside him and a young boy on his shoulders.

"Oh, sorry. Zoned out a bit. Welcome to Big Belly Burger, what can I get you?" The teen looked up from her phone at David's voice, looking him up and down and biting her lip slightly. David blinked, avoiding eye contact. This was not a thing he needed right now.

"I'll take two Big Bonus Burgers, a Little Belly Meal, one large fries, two large cokes, and a small chocolate shake."

"And will that be for here or to go, sir?"

"Here."

"That'll be twenty-six dollars and seventy-six cents." The man handed Dave a twenty and a ten, and David put the money in the register before handing the man his change. "You're order number... Forty-two, sir. Have a nice meal." The man nodded to David, before taking his children to a booth, the girl looking back at David and winking at him. The young man pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. Save for the unwanted flirting, this was pretty routine, not too bad except for the obvious. But it always got worse.

After about half an hour, things started to go bad. A larger man approached the counter, a particularly dopey look about him.

"Welcome to Big Belly Burger, what can I get you?"

"Can I get... Uh..." The man looked up at the menu, tapping his chin in contemplation. This continued for close to a minute, the man tapping his chin and occasionally saying "Um..." while staring up at the menu items.

David quirked a disapproving eyebrow. "Sir. You're holding up the line."

"Oh, sorry. I'll take... Um... Hm..."

David's brow furrowed. Sighing slightly, he put on a false grin, saying, "Sir, if you're not sure what to get, I suggest the Big Belly Combo Meal. You get a Big Bonus Burger, one large fries, a box of four buffalo wings, and a large drink of your choice. All for only twenty dollars."

"Sure, I'll take that." The man pulled a twenty out of his wallet, handing the money to Dave.

"You're order number fifty-seven, sir. Have a good day." The man went on his way. David took in a deep breath, counting to ten before releasing it. This was bad. But it could only get worse from here.

Worse came twenty minutes later in the form of a slimeball clad in a grey suit, hair slicked back, tie neatly held in place by a clip, phone pressed to his ear and endlessly jabbing away to the person on the other end of the line. A fucking businessman. "Welcome to Big Belly Burg-" David's typical greeting was cut off by a slender finger being held up and a sharp "shhhh". David fought back a sneer of disgust.

"Look Charlie, you'll get your Goddamned paycheck when I see those reports on my desk... Oh don't give me any of that 'oh, it's been two months since I've been paid' or 'I have kids to feed at home' bullshit, Charlie, we both know that second one's a fuckin' lie." He pressed a hand against the phone. "Big Bonus Burger."

"Right sir, that'll be nine dollars." The man slid David a ten, and David handed him back a dollar. "You're order sixty-six." The man nodded, heading to his seat.

That went... Surprisingly well, actually. David allowed himself to breath in a sigh of relief. Maybe it wouldn't be too bad after all.

Ten minutes later...

The businessman marched up to the front counter, looking positively furious. "I told you no lettuce!"

David blinked. "What? No you didn't."

"Yeah, I did. Are you calling me a liar?"

"Sir, I'm sure if we just talked this thro-"

"Don't back talk me, boy. Now, I want some compensation for the poor service here."

David gritted his teeth. "Sir, can't you just, oh, I don't know, take the lettuce out of the burger?"

"The point isn't that I can take the lettuce out of the burger, it's the fact that you didn't listen to my instructions in the first place. Now, I want a refund, and a burger with no lettuce to make up for this."

"Sir, you're being unreasonable."

"Unreasonable, eh? Are you sure you wouldn't like a talk with my lawyer? About the fraud you pulled?"

"Fraud? What fra-"

"The fraud you pulled by telling me there would be no lettuce in the burger!"

David was practically grinding his teeth to a fine powder at this point. Deep breaths, David. Deep breaths. "... Fine, sir. I'll talk with the cooks."

Spoiler alert: the guy walks away with his nine Goddamn dollars and another burger, looking smug as a snake. Inside David's head, Red Hood's cries for retribution were left unanswered, and he returned to work.

Fuck the lunch rush.

8:42 PM; January 11th, 2026
Some Back Alleyway; Gotham City, New Jersey

"FUCK YOU!" David shouted as he slammed his fist into the mugger's ear, sending the man to the ground. Crawling on top of him, David began to beat relentlessly on the thug's face. "FUCK YOUR SUIT! AND YOUR TIE! AND YOUR HAIR! AND YOUR PHONE!" Each sentence was punctuated with a fist pounding down onto the crook's face. "AND FUCK! YOUR! NO! LETTUCE!"

The poor guy probably had a fractured skull, but he was alive. David pulled himself off the mugger, letting out a long breath. He turned to the would-be victim, who was staring in shock at the bloodied and bruised face of her attacker as he squirmed around and whimpered in pain. "... Sorry you had to see that. Been a long, long day at work. You, uh, need someone to walk you home?"

"U-um, no t-thanks, I'm fine w-walking on my own..." With that, the woman began to speedwalk away, before breaking out into a sprint once she reached the sidewalk.

David shook his head, massaging his temples. He still had a headache from work. "... Fuck businessmen."

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Evening
Near The Crossroads Saloon; Warpath, Texas

---

ISSUE #15
GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY
PART FOUR

---

If you had told me a few months ago that I would wind up being on the run, traveling the country and fighting crime, I would've laughed at you. If you had told me that I'd also end up fighting against servants of the Devil in a small Texas town with a cowboy, I'd have had you locked up in an insane asylum. But here I was, running through the alleys of Warpath, occasionally looking over my shoulder to fire off a few rounds at the ungodly bastardizations of men that were hunting me.

The alley was narrow, and they almost had to come at me in a single file line. It was easy enough to mow them down with a few well-placed shots, and none of them got too close to give me any trouble. The saloon shouldn't be too far away, I should be getting there soon. I just had to hold out a little longer...

*Click* *Click*

My hope was snuffed out with the familiar clicks of empty guns. Rather than holster the SMGs, I tossed them to the ground. Turning around and bolting, I pulled out my twin pistols, just in case I ran into any along the way. They were everywhere, and I could only pray that Greg was doing better than I was. He had that whip of his, maybe if he ran out of ammo he could use that. Me? I'd be thoroughly screwed.

By the time I reached the Crossroads Saloon, Greg was already there, thrashing at the Hunters with his lariat, swinging objects into them as makeshift weapons and occasionally putting one down with a shot from his revolver. Rushing towards the old saloon, I leapt through the windows, firing as I went and taking out a handful of Hunters. I tucked my body into a roll, coming to a stop not too far from Greg in a crouch.

"Cavalry's here." I stood up, twisting around to the entrance of the old saloon. "You got this place primed and ready to blow at a moment's notice?"

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

Pictured: everyone's reactions to my posts so far

I don't mean to be edgy I'm sorry