Captain Uni

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

#PutChowOnTheBannerToClashWithAllTheComicArt

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

<Snipped quote by AndyC>

Do we ever? Hulk's one of the cursed characters. No one who picks him up ever keeps him longer than an arc or two, and certainly never for a whole season. Much like Punishe-- oh.

Well, it still stands for Hulk.

@Eddie Brock

I heard that.

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

Oh hey look, I got bored and wrote a post in a possible future set twenty-five years down the line instead of, you know, writing an actual post like I should be doing. Enjoy. Or not. I dunno.

Red Hood Beyond or: Uni Shamelessly Rips Off Max Payne 3

12:01 AM; November 3rd, 2050
Back To The 2010s Club; Tijuana, Baja California
'These kids only like the 2010s because they weren't alive for them.'

Nostalgia clubs. I never really got the purpose of those. Is it so the people who were alive then can party like it's forty years ago? I figured most of the people who were in their twenties then would prefer to be napping nowadays. Maybe it's so the latest generation can get loaded while listening to their grandparents' music? If so, they're listening to some shit music. Even all that synth-whatever the kids are listening to these days would be better.

I'm guessing it's the latter, because as Giovanni pushes the door open and revels in the atmosphere, all the people I see are half my age. He leads us through the crowd, people dancing to the beat of the music, if you can call shimmying in place "dancing". Ed said that he'd stay with the chopper, but by now I was wishing he had come with me so I wouldn't be the only person in the club over thirty, and even then I'd still be the oldest person in the room by a decade. "Let's go!" Gio shouted, throwing his hands into the air as he began to lead us forward. Gabriela and her sister, Isabella, followed close after him as I pulled up the rear.

One guy who looked like he'd had four drinks too many stumbled up to Isabella, reaching out to grope her chest. I stepped in, and what he ended up grabbing was me. After a few moments of mindlessly squeezing my gut and probably realizing "hey, these aren't tits", he looked up, eyes widening as he caught sight of my scowling face. I lifted a hand and shoved him to the ground, before following after Gio and the girls and massaging my temples. Between the painful music, the flashing lights, and the drunken idiots, I needed to get a drink fast.

Gio led us to the bar, where he and the girls took a seat. I held up a hand before they could order. I needed to drink first... You know, in case they had poisoned the booze. "Uh... Un esc... Un escocés, por favor." The bartender looked at me in confusion, while Giovanni and the girls laughed. I furrowed my brow in confusion. "What's so funny?"

"You just ordered a Scotsman, amigo," Gio said in between bouts of laughter.

I gave a dry chuckle. "Heh. Alright, well tell him I want a scotch."

Giovanni had a few words with the bartender, before the bartender made me my drink. He and the girls ordered theirs while I downed mine and quickly gestured for the bartender to pour me another. Now this was more like it: a drink, so I could drown out the incessant chatter of soulless people over piss poor music in a gaudy night club. Gabriela and Isabella left to go catch up with some friends; Giovanni drank his beer while surveying the room, before turning to me. "... How do you do it, Dave?"

I pulled the shot glass from my lips to answer him, some of the scotch leaking out of my mouth. "Do what?"

"How do you get girls? Guy like you, I bet you've made time with some nice chicks in your life."

I paused, shaking my head. "No, no not really. Never really did that kinda stuff past my high school years. Too busy doing... Things."

"No shit?"

"No shit," I replied, downing the rest of my drink and getting some more.

"I figured you would've been married or some shit, man."

I clutched the glass tightly at that. "... I considered it, once. I was nineteen or so."

Gio quirked an eyebrow, as if curious. "Really? What happened?"

I took a long drink at that. "Didn't work out that way."

"That sucks, man..." He stayed silent for a moment, before he said, "You know, I'm in love with a woman, but I haven't told her."

"You should. Life's too short to let things go unsaid. Then you just think about the what-could have-beens."

"No, she's... With another man."

I quirked my eyebrow in a very Kasimir sort of way. "Didn't figure that'd stop you. Guy like you, I bet you've made time with married women before," I echoed.

Gio sneered as I chuckled at his expense. "Yeah, fuck you too, Dave. I'm gonna go catch up with the girls."

"Yeah, you do that, pal." As Gio walked away, I let out a sigh of relief. Thank God. I didn't need to be offering advice to the kid. I was the last person you went to with your troubles about life. Only thing I'd be able to teach him was how to kill a man in a hundred different ways, how to destroy your liver, and how to rip your family apart.

As I finished off my latest glass, something in the back of my mind kicked in and the world slowed down around me. I noticed how there were a group of guys clustered around Gio and the girls that were wearing black beanies and raggedy clothes, clashing heavily with the designer suits and dresses the rest of the patrons wore. I was already setting my glass down and moving forward when the guys pulled their beanies down... Except they weren't beanies.

They were ski masks.

My gun was out and I was maneuvering through the crowd to get a clear shot, when one of the men cleared it for me by firing his revolver into the air. Three of them grabbed Gio and the girls, throwing bags over their heads, while the crowd screamed and scattered at the sound of gunshots. I aimed my pistol and fired off a few rounds at the guys who didn't have my charges; they went down like flies, but the ones that were left held Gio and the girls as human shields. I couldn't get a clear shot.

Just as I was about to break out into a sprint towards them, gunshots went off behind me. On instinct, I fell to the ground and rolled onto my back, firing at the attacker and putting him down. But as I picked myself up, the kidnappers were gone. "Son of a..." I burst into a sprint in the direction I saw them heading, picking up one of the fallen thugs' revolvers along the way. Two guns in hand, I gave chase.

I burst into the next room, pistols at the ready. My legs burned, my side ached, and my arms were about to complain too; there were at least a dozen guys throughout the room, all taking out the club's patrons and staff. Much as I hated to let those bastards get away with the people I swore I'd protect, I couldn't let them kill these people either. Plus, the bullet that just grazed my cheek might've made me want to get more than even.

I charged forward and threw myself into the air over a set of stairs, two guns blazing as I flew to the ground. I hit the neon dance floor with a thud, letting out a bark of pain. One of the crooks ran forward, firing the machine gun in his hand. I had just half a second to roll to the side, coming to a stop on my left arm and shooting him in the head with the revolver. It was empty now; I tossed it and pulled myself to my feet, shambling forward while clutching my left shoulder and firing blindly.

I was lucky to hit a few more guys before I had to reload, taking cover behind a bar as I did so. After catching my breath, I took in one last gulp of air before jumping up onto the bar. Time slowed to a crawl around me as I leapt up into the air, firing at the remaining thugs while thinking to myself how much this landing is going to suck. Fortunately, I had taken them all out in the span of three seconds, saving a dozen innocent lives. Unfortunately, I was ten feet in the air and about to land on the cold hard ground.

"ACK! FUGGIN' SHIT!" I sat up, clutching at my leg. I moved it around a bit, thanking whatever Gods existed that I didn't break it again, but still, things were about to be a little tougher for me from here on in. Sucking it up, I reloaded my Beretta and limped forward, grim determination in every step. I said I'd protect Gio and the girls and Goddammit, I was going to.

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Can't wait for Titans to be cancelled after the first season.

Also...

Los Angeles

@Lord Wraith

Well, if that's the case, guess this'll be the first time in the RP where Frank runs and hides because the Silver fucking Surfer.

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Three Days Later; Afternoon
Outside a drug den; Fredericksburg, Texas

The wooden door burst into splinters as my boot collided with it. I rolled through the doorway, coming to a halt in a kneel and firing off my Glocks at the three crooks before me. Their bodies spasmed violently with each round that hit them. A few shots went off behind me; I twisted around and fired off some of my own, before throwing myself behind a counter for cover. Bullets embedded themselves into the wood, my cover being torn to shreds with every passing second.

Just another Tuesday afternoon I suppose.

I jumped up onto the counter, rolling off of it and gunning down the thugs as I did so. Most of them were dead before they hit the floor; those that weren't were cut down with another shot. I heard footsteps coming from another room behind me. Leaping into the air, I twisted around as the door opened and fired as I fell to the ground. The crooks inside were mowed down in seconds.

I laid there on the floor for a minute longer. After I was sure no one was left, I picked myself up and reloaded my Glocks. Holstering them, I pulled out my M12 trench gun, keeping it at the ready as I did a sweep of the building. I was nearly finished in a few minutes, and pressed myself up against the wall of the last door. Taking in a deep breath, I shot the handle off and kicked the door open, aiming my shotgun around the room.

There was one last guy left, cowering the corner and raising his hands. "D-don't shoot, holmes! I ain't armed!" He wasn't dressed like the rest of them. He was naked save for an apron to cover his modesty and latex gloves slicked with sweat on his hands. Looks like I had found the cook.

"I'm gonna ask you some questions. Give me some answers I like, and I might let you off easy." He nodded his head eagerly. "This operation. Is this it, or is it bigger?"

"It's..." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "This is it. Nothing else."

"Compadre, you got a pissed off vigilante aiming a scattergun at your head. You don't wanna lie to me." To emphasize, I got a bit closer, pressing the barrel against his forehead.

He whimpered slightly. "It's... I-it's bigger. We're run by a guy in LA. We've been expanding, this is the furthest out we are."

"This guy. He got a name?"

"R-Raul. Raul Garcia."

"Thanks for the info. Now. I'm gonna be heading to LA to deal with this and then I'll be heading back around. When I do, I'll run through here. I want you to get an honest job by the time I'm back. If you haven't?" I leveled the shotgun at his knee. "Bang. You got that?"

He gulped. "Si."

I propped the gun against my shoulder. "Good. Now get your clothes on and get out of here." He nodded, throwing off the apron and gathering up a pile of clothes, before running out the door. I cast a glance at the bench which was set up with a top of the line chemistry set. These weren't just unfortunates looking to make enough money to put food on the table. No, these guys were well financed.

I took a few grenades from my vest and stuck it onto the bench, before heading back into the kitchen and looking at the gas powered stove. I pulled it out into the open, grabbing the gas line and yanking it out the back. Gas began to flood into the room. I went outside, pulled a cigarette out of my pack and lit it with my lighter as I headed back to my van. After a few drags, I tossed it into an open window, waiting for what was to come...

*KRA-KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!*

The drug den was engulfed in a ball of flames. I hopped into my van, started it up, and began to drive away.

Next stop? The City of Angels.

---

ISSUE #16
WAR PIGS
PART ONE

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

2:39 AM; January 9th, 2026
A back alley in Hell's Corner; Hub City, Illinois

He broke the thug's nose with a vicious right hook, continuing to wail on him for no reason other than his own satisfaction. The bastard deserved it. Question was disgusted by a lot of crimes, but rape - rape was the thing that disgusted him the most. By the time he was done he was sure he had at the very least given the man a concussion. At the most? He might've fractured his skull.

Question stood up, giving the would be rapist one last kick as he did so. He tried to take in a deep breath, but ended up coughing violently. He pounded a bit on his chest to clear it up. Probably had a cold or something, he had been going out really late at night these days, and it was just getting colder and colder. Hrm. Further proof global warming is a myth, fabricated by the government in order to keep the population fearful of something they can't control...

He shook his head. Those thoughts were useless to him, just the inane babbling of a mad man. This only meant one thing: it was wearing off. He could feel the chi within him fading. He was slipping back into Oscar. That couldn't happen, not now, Oscar was weak, he didn't have what it took to do this, Oscar wasn't good enough, he never was, he never will be, he can't be Oscar he can't be Oscar he can't be he can't he can't can't can't can'tcan'tcan'tcantcantcantcantcantca-

The phone in his pocket rang.

Oscar (he can't be Oscar) pulled it out, taking a look at the caller ID.

He nearly dropped the phone in surprise. It was Shams. He had to blink to make sure he wasn't imagining it, but no, it was her, she was calling him, right now... She was calling him. He had a feeling this was some... Some sick joke, maybe it was an accident, she wouldn't call him, not after... Not after what happened.

He blinked again. Her name was still there. Hesitantly, he pressed the answer call button. "Shams?" he said, trying to fight back the bit of hope creeping into his voice.

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

<Snipped quote by Hound55>

DEMONS
IN
SPACE!!!

@Byrd Man

You rang?

Heroes Reborn: Year Six (OPEN)

12:02 AM; January 23rd, 2026
Warehouse District; Gotham City, New Jersey
'You ever have one of those days where one minute you're sitting there eating a Big Bonus Burger and then the next you're in the middle of a gunfight? No, just me? Alright.'
"This is where his personalities started to merge, isn't it? Interesting to have an insight into their top agent's psychology..."

The first thing he knew when he took back control of his body, David was just ducking out of the way of a punch aimed at his throat. Reacting quickly, he fired the pistol he didn't even know he had in his hand, nailing the man in the chest and stumbling backwards onto the ground in the process. He was in full costume, had a gun in his hand, and was in a warehouse surrounded by large crates and machinery. Instinctively, he rolled into cover, that being a forklift. Bullets struck the side of the machine, and he caught his breath while trying to figure out his next move...

But really, there was only one thing he could think at that time.

"What the fuck did I get into now?"

He wasn't too sure. All he knew was that he had gone from having lunch to fighting for his life against a dozen guys or so. Considering his plan for tonight was to head to a bar to let off some steam, it was safe to say that getting into a gunfight against some goons wasn't on the agenda. David knew exactly who he could blame for it. 'Hood! What did you do?!'

'Relax Dave, I was just having some fun.'

'What, and this is your idea of- You know what, I already know the answer to that.'

'Come on, Dave, these guys are just two-bit thugs with nothing between the ears.'

'Sounds like someone I'm sharing a head with.'

'Oh, that was a low blow, even for you. Now do me a favor and go kill some guys, it's not like you're getting out of this without using that kickass gun I found.'

'Hood, we can't just go around killing everyone who gets in our way.'

'Dave, these guys are trying to kill us. Now stop being a pussy and show them who's boss.'

Hood... Had a point, as much as Dave hated to admit it. Maybe he'd have to kill some of them to make it out of this. He just had to think his way through this. A full frontal assault would be suicide, but there was no other... It hit him: the lights. He could take out the lights and plunge the room into darkness. That would allow him to sneak around and take them out one by one. Nodding to himself, David took a deep breath. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as he peeked out of his cover, firing off a few rounds at the lights.

(Recommended Listening)

David let out his breath as he ducked back into cover, and the room went from relatively well-lit to damn near pitch black. He could hardly see what was around him, but before he pulled that stunt he had noticed a pipe behind him which went up to the ceiling and across to the other side. He could climb it and jump down onto a thug to take him out. That didn't say anything for the other nine, though.

Deciding to say fuck it, David holstered his pistol and jumped onto the pipe, climbing up to the ceiling and pulling himself along it, high above the criminals. His eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, allowing him to see the outlines of the criminals below him. Taking in a deep breath, he dropped down onto one of the men, grabbing onto the man's head and slamming it into the concrete ground. "Ouch. You're gonna be feeling that in the morning, pal," David whispered under his breath.

Three right in front of him, two on both sides, and three behind him. He was in near complete darkness surrounded by them. My, wasn't this familiar. He had to fight back a smile at the memory, before shaking it off to continue. God, he really should've gotten that grappling hook; would be useful to zip right back up to that pipe. Oh well, he could make due on the ground.

David jumped up onto a table to his right, delivering a kick to one of the thugs' heads. The thug went out like a light, and David ducked as he landed on the ground before delivering an uppercut to the groin of the other thug on that side. With the two of them dispatched so quickly, David struggled to keep his excitement contained. "Ohhh, fuck yeah, fuck yeah, fuck yeah. I bet that looked awesome," he whispered to himself.

"You guys hear that?" one of the thugs asked.

"No, what was it?" another replied.

"A voice, over there. Let's check it out."

'Shit.' Dave scrambled away from the unconscious thugs and ran to the other side of the room, climbing on top of a large crate. A few of the thugs approached the spot he was last in, but two of them hung back, a decent gap between them. One was right beneath him.

He jumped down and landed behind the thug, quickly disarming him before taking him in a chokehold. David pulled the gun out from his holster and aimed over the thug's shoulder. "Think your friends will shoot you?" Dave whispered in the thug's ear. "Let's find out." The thug gave a strained whimper.

David took a deep breath.

'Steady, Dave.'

He took aim at the other thug's gun hand and fired, then quickly shifted his aim towards the thug's knee and fired again. David swerved to face the group of thugs clustered together near his last position. He released his breath, and time sped back up. "It's him!" one of the thugs shouted. They began to fire at him, the bullets striking his human shield. Dave took the opportunity to let go of the gangster and roll into cover again.

Using the shadows for concealment, he circled around behind the thugs as they approached what they thought was his corpse. He pressed his back up against one of the crates and listened. "Oh shit! It's Paul, the fuckin' bastard made us kill Paul!"

"That limp dick is around here somewhere, spread out!"

There was only five left, and they were obviously scared. Keeping crouched to be less visible, David watched as the five split up to search the room over for him. As one of them got closer, he whispered, "Psst, hey. Over here." As soon as he said that, he climbed on top of the crate.

"Guys, think I got something. Checking it out." The gangster approached the spot, looking around. David jumped on top of him, sending a kick into his head which probably had enough force to crack his skull. David rolled away from the body and jumped back onto the pipe, climbing up to the roof.

Four left.

"Darkness... The boogeyman's coming for you, boys..." David hissed softly. The gangsters all looked around for the source of his voice.

"Everybody, back to back!" one of the crooks shouted. They all gathered up in a circle, back to back, guns at the ready. "Come on out, you bastard!"

"Heheheh..." David pulled out his pistol, took a breath, then jumped down.

He was right on top of them. They didn't stand a chance.

He fired off three quick rounds, taking down three of the men with shots to the head. He released his breath and landed on the last man, pistol whipping him in the face and knocking him out cold. David stood up, sighing. "So... Hood... Now that this is all done, you gonna tell me what this was about?"

'They're arms dealers, Dave. Check the crates.'

Quirking an eyebrow, Dave headed over to one of the crates and ripped the lid off of it. Taking a peek inside, David had to take a few breaths to stop himself from having a heart attack. Guns, and loads of them. He had already built up a decent arsenal but one could never have too many guns. Grabbing a duffel bag off of a nearby table, he began to fill it up with guns and munitions, giggling like a school girl all throughout.

'Yeah Dave, I knew you'd like it.'

"Like it? I fucking love it! Look at all these guns! I'm starting to think I died and went to Heaven!" David continued to fill the duffel bag, closing it up once he had enough. He cast one last glance into the crate, and did a double check at what he saw.

There was some helmets and body armor underneath the guns, top of the line stuff. He grabbed one of the helmets and looked it over. "... Hey Hood?"

'Hm?'

"We still got that red spray paint?"

'Yep.'

David tossed the helmet into the duffel bag, along with a pair of gauntlets and one of the form-fitting suits of body armor. "Time for an upgrade."

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Shitty post is shitty but I don't want to hold up Doc anymore than I have.

CLOSED - Ultimate One Universe: Season One

Night
Outside what used to be the Crossroads Saloon; Warpath, Texas

---

ISSUE #15
GHOST RIDERS IN THE SKY
FINALE

---

”It’s okay. You can rest, now.” The Spirit touched the boys face. Fire danced off of his fingertip. The boy smiled. The funeral pyre had begun.

“Thank you.”

@DocTachyon

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

What was my friend had arisen from the ruins of the saloon, approaching one Hunter who was just barely clinging to what remains of his undead life. As if in a blink of an eye the Hunter transformed into a man, a boy really. Greg, or what I think is Greg, brought the boy into his arms, and after exchanging some words fire began to spread from the skeletal man's finger tips, engulfing the Hunter - or what was the Hunter - in flames. He didn't scream. He just gave a smile as he went.

Greg really wasn't kidding when he said I'd be seeing some weird shit.

It was then that the exhaustion of the last few days and the shock of seeing these kind of things finally set in. I closed my eyes and collapsed to the ground, letting sleep overcome me.

---

Two Days Later; Morning
Leaving Warpath, Texas

The day before had been spent fixing up the barricade around town after the stress that it had went under. Greg was perfectly fine, somehow, and... Even after explaining it I was still a little confused about the whole thing. It was a bit of a mind fuck, knowing that I was buddy buddy with a guy who had the literal embodiment of vengeance within him. But honestly, after I just fought hellspawn or something close to it, I shouldn't be too surprised.

Greg saw me off in my van. I said that once I was through traveling across the country, I'd swing back around and see about helping him out again on my way back to New York. For now, I had no real destination. It was just me, my van, the open road, and enough ordnance to supply a Goddamn army. And you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Let's ride."