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Status

Recent Statuses

1 mo ago
Current If this watch breaks, the foreign exchange market will take a twenty-eight percent hit. People will die.
4 mos ago
bro aren't you 15 go do your homework instead of screaming about your WIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
6 likes
4 mos ago
"No. This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive."
4 likes
6 mos ago
Thеy needed a stealth soldier, so I put my hands on the hibachi hot plate at Benihana and burned my fuckin fingerprints off. They will not find me.
2 likes
6 mos ago
Aw sweet, man made horrors beyond my comprehension!
2 likes

Bio

Absolute clown. Dark and gritty superhero fan fiction guaranteed or your money back.

... Guess I should fill this out with something about myself.

I'm Uni, an aspiring musician and current fast food slave in his early 20s. I used to roleplay a lot as a teenager but fell out of the habit and now I'm trying to get back into it. I'm a sucker for comic book roleplays but I'm down for pretty much anything usually. My favorite genre is sci-fi but I fuck with fantasy, horror, slice of life... Like I said, pretty much anything.

Feel free to hit me up if you want to talk or something. I'm more active on Discord where I'm known as captainunicycle.




Most Recent Posts


I N T E R L U D E # 1
I N T E R L U D E # 1

D R E A M S
D R E A M S

One week later...

Another successful night out. A couple muggings and a carjacking attempt foiled. Pretty quiet tonight, all things considered. Now I'm in the chopper with Frenchie heading home. Home is a manor on the outskirts of the city with no neighbors for a mile around, one I bought with the money I had saved. Steven made sure to put most of the money we got from our mercenary days into offshore accounts, had about a million in there when we got back to America. That was enough to get the manor and the chopper and all the tools I needed and still have a decent amount left. The rest he spent investing in shares and stocks in both promising start ups and industry titans.

'Got just over ten mill now for the record, Miss Newman's hospital bills notwithstanding,' Steven says to me.

'Good job. Got an idea for the next company to invest in: Kord Industries might be on the up even after that explosion that took Ted Kord's life. Veronica Kord is taking over, she's a cold hard bitch but she can pull the company through. Shame about Ted though, seemed like a decent guy.'

'Hey, never know. Maybe Khonshu will resurrect Kord as another Fist,' Jake chimes in, chuckling.

I ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴀɴʏ ᴘʟᴀɴꜱ ꜰᴏʀ Kᴏʀᴅ.

"JESUS!" I twist my head around in surprise to see Khonshu sitting in a seat behind me.

"Marc? Are you okay?" Frenchie asks, concern on his face.

I blink and Khonshu isn't there anymore. I turn to look at Frenchie and nod shakily. "Yeah, yeah... Sorry."

The rest of the ride is spent in silence. We land on the helipad on the manor's rooftop, getting out and heading inside. Frenchie retires to his room while I head downstairs to the kitchen. I flip the light switch on to illuminate the room as I pull off my mask and step over to open the fridge. What greets me is two bananas, a few bottles of water, and a box of donuts that I don't remember ever ordering.

'My bad, got some Krispy Kreme this morning. Grant paid for it.'

'Bloody hell Jake, let me know when you dig into the funds, yeah?'

'Like you weren't just bragging about having ten million in the bank. Kvetching momzer...'


I just shake my head with a smile as I pull the box out and open it. Out of the half dozen the box fits there are four left: two strawberry sprinkle and two chocolate sprinkle. 'Don't tell me there were maple donuts in here, Jake.'

'... Oops.'

With a sigh I grab a strawberry donut and take a bite. It's pretty good, but maple would've been better.

"Who is this superhero?"

"Frenchie?"
"No!"
"O'Toole, the police detective?"
"No way man!"
"Jake, the mild-mannered cab driver?"
"Could be!"

I stand from my perch on the rooftop at the sound of a scream below me, tightening the belt around my gi and making sure my eye mask is secure. Leaping off the roof, I land gracefully in the alleyway and see a man with a gun threatening a woman for her purse. She hands it over to him as I speak, "Nice night for a walk, eh?"

The mugger turns to look at me and jumps up with a scream of terror. "Oh no! Hong Kong Phooey!"

"That's right, you little pisher. Now drop the gun or I'll hit you with the Multiplying Dragon Kick!" To emphasize my point, I raise my arms up in the air and lift my leg up as if in anticipation of a crane kick.

He doesn't have to be told twice. He drops the gun and the purse then runs out of the alleyway, leaving a trail of smoke behind him. Grinning to myself, I walk up to the purse and pick it up, offering it to the woman. "Here you are, ma'am."

"Oh, my hero!" she cries, taking the purse back. I get the chance to really look at her and see-

"L-Layla?"

Everything's the same as the last time we saw her: skin the color of mocha, deep brown eyes that draw you in and don't let go, dark curls that frame her face beautifully.

There's even the bullet holes in her chest.

She falls to the ground and suddenly I'm not Jake, I'm Marc, and I'm not in some Hub City alleyway, I'm cradling her behind a Jeep in some third world desert shithole as bullets rain down on us. "Frenchie's almost here with the evac! Just hang on!" I keep holding her in one arm while the other presses a torn off shirt sleeve down onto her chest.

Her breathing is weak and raspy, the air from her lungs leaking out of the bullet holes with disgusting whistles. "Marc..."

"I'm here... I'm here..." There's tears running down my face as I keep pressing the rag against her wounds.

Her hand reaches up to caress my face. "Ma... rc..."

The hand falls limp and suddenly I'm cradling a corpse. I don't know what to do for a second, staring at her in shock. She can't be dead. She's not dead. She's not. I clench my eyes shut and pull her closer, pressing my cheek against hers and letting out choked sobs. "Don't do this to me Layla, please..."

The rain of bullets stops. I open my eyes to find I'm not hiding behind a Jeep in the desert anymore, I'm in a tomb half buried in sand. Layla's gone and I look down to find bullet holes in my own chest. I fall to my hands and knees, my whole body aching.

Cᴏᴍᴇ ᴄʟᴏꜱᴇʀ, ᴍʏ ꜱᴏɴ.

I look up at the voice to see a statue before me, a man in robes with a bird head. Despite myself, it brings me some comfort. I crawl closer to it.

I ᴀᴍ ʜᴇʀᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ.

Once I've reached the statue, I roll over onto my back and stare into the night sky from a hole in the ceiling. The full moon shines down on me, bathing me in its light. I close my eyes and bask in it.

Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ʟɪᴠᴇ, Mᴀʀᴄ Sᴘᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ?

"Y-yes..." I choke out.

Tʜᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴍɪɴᴇ. Mʏ ʜᴀɴᴅꜱ. Mʏ ᴠᴇɴɢᴇᴀɴᴄᴇ. Mʏ Mᴏᴏɴ Kɴɪɢʜᴛ.

"Moon... Knight..."

Rɪꜱᴇ, ᴍʏ Fɪꜱᴛ.

I open my eyes.


Thanks to Lord Wraith for the image edit.


I wake with a start, my breathing heavy and ragged. I look over to my alarm clock: 5:23 PM. Didn't oversleep this time. Good.

I grab the earpiece off of my nightstand and put it into my ear. "Frenchie? Anything happen while I was out?"

"Bonjour, Marc. Zee 'Midnight Man' struck again last night, stole a painting from zee Museum of Modern Art. His tenth heist in just as many days."

"Looks like I need get on it then. Get the chopper ready."

"Bien sur."

I get out of bed and head for the closet to put on my vestments. Time to bust an art thief.
<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>

It wouldn't be a proper vampire story without the Deftones appearing in some capacity


Now I'm glad I wasn't able to app Batman because that exact song was the theme I had in mind for the character lmao

Once I wrap up this initial arc (which should be the next post) I kinda want to have Marc make his way to NYC to go to the gala, probably as Steven since, y'know, millionaire playboy alter. I'd have to think of a reason for him to want to do that though. Maybe wanting to get some intel on these new heroes since they're (presumably) going to come?
August 7th, 1968
Encino, Los Angeles


Charlie Rembrandt's '57 Nissan Bluebird rolled along the road steadily. He glanced at his watch: 7:48 AM. He got the call an hour ago, was told that a construction site had been burnt down overnight. The firefighters were trying their best to suppress the flames burning on in the fields around the site, while the cops were on the scene keeping the burnt down homes secure as they awaited his arrival. He rolled on past a wooden sign declaring the place the home of some villas, down the hill and towards the projects. Where once skeletons of houses stood now there was only charcoal. A small crowd of civvies, probably reporters, was gathered outside of one of the homes and being held at bay by a squad of the boys in blue.

Rembrandt parked his car and stepped out, taking a moment to pull the flask from his inner coat pocket and gulp down some whiskey. He hacked a bit at the bitter taste, then pocketed the flask and stepped forward. Pushing his way through the crowd of journalists, he made his way to the front and presented his badge to the officers. "Rembrandt, LAFD Arson Investigator," Charlie said. The cops made way for him and he stepped into the husk of the home. "Anyone been in here yet?" he asked the nearest cop.

"No, sir. We haven't stepped inside," a young man with a badge reading 'McCall' replied.

"Good. Don't need you fucking it up," Rembrandt spat as he stepped into what would've been the foyer. McCall snarled, then stepped back in formation. Rembrandt took a look around, starting with the floor. The wood was scorched, though slightly less so in a strange swirling pattern in the center of the room, one he had seen before. He looked ahead and saw a charred corpse there, burnt beyond recognition. Most men would've lost their lunch at the sight, but Rembrandt was used to it this far along in his career. He pulled out a notepad and a pencil, scribbling down his thoughts.

Likely gasoline used as accelerant, swirling pattern drawn with the splashes. Same pattern we found in the Park Avenue Apartments in Burbank last month. Another corpse too. Are the fires trying to cover them up? Or draw attention to them?

Rembrandt finished writing and pocketed the pad and pencil, stepping back out of the house. He looked to McCall. "Fire was started with gasoline. Found a stiff in there too, burnt to shit. Same MO as a few cases I've seen this past year. Get homicide down here to look at the body. Not sure there's any evidence that wasn't burned down though."

McCall grunted in acknowledgement, still not pleased with Rembrandt. "We'll get Fairfield down here."

Rembrandt felt bile rising in his throat just at the thought. Fairfield, the old bastard. His former partner on homicide, taught him the ropes of the job. Was also the one that let it slip that Charlie was seeing that singer on the side. If Charlie ever saw him again, he'd either punch him or put a bullet in him. For Fairfield's safety and Rembrandt's peace of mind, he had to get out of here. "You do that," he replied, before walking back to his car.

He sat in the car for a moment, taking another swig from his flask. With a sigh, he started the car up and made his way out of the valley and back to the city. He had to get back to the station and write up a report on this.
<Snipped quote by Simple Unicycle>

And it was on that day Uni received 19 laugh reactions on his post.


I'm still waiting for you to get me back for laugh reacting every single IC post you did in UOU.
Friends, I have an announcement to make.

It has come to my attention that we have 19 roleplayers participating in this roleplay not counting myself or the recently departed Bounce. However, I have noticed that I am not receiving 19 likes on all of my IC posts. This is a grave error on all of your parts and I expect it to be fixed as soon as possible. Thank you for your time.


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