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  • Last Seen: 19 days ago
  • Old Guild Username: DarkStar
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
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    1. DarkStar 12 yrs ago
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2 yrs ago
Current Three Years and still not a single forum post. :3
1 like
5 yrs ago
Oof. Been another 2 years. Niccceeeee...
2 likes
7 yrs ago
Two years. :P New record. Lets go for 3!
9 yrs ago
Ich. I've missed three posts.
10 yrs ago
Time for my obligatory Trimesterial post. This time. Nothing. You are worth nothing.

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Boop.

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PROLOGUE: TICKET NUMBER 404




THE WAKING WORLD: Pontypool, South Wales

It is a painfully dreary Tuesday morning in the regional office of the Bureau of Environmental Compliance. Rain lashes against the single-pane windows, and the radiator in the corner produces a rhythmic, metallic clank precisely every fourteen seconds—a frequency deliberately engineered by the Crown to prevent a continuous train of thought.

You are sitting in a plastic chair bolted to the floor. The queue has not moved in forty-seven minutes. Behind the reinforced glass, the receptionist—a Hollow Person with a detectably stale, cold aura—has been slowly and deliberately restapling the exact same stack of blank paper for half an hour. The institutional friction in the room is thick enough to choke on.

Then, the man sitting three chairs down gasps.


THE INCIDENT

He is wearing a bespoke suit that looks violently out of place in this damp Welsh office. He clutches his chest, pitching forward onto the cheap linoleum floor. Massive cardiac arrest.

As his physical heart stops, the fluorescent lights in the waiting room violently flicker. To the unawakened Sleepwalkers around you, it is simply a tragedy: a man having a heart attack.

But you are Awakened.

The air suddenly smells of ozone and static electricity. The dying man's leather briefcase pops open, and instead of paperwork, a blinding, high-definition glow spills out across the linoleum. Un-rendered dream-fiat is leaking into the waking world.





THE DREAMSCAPE SHIFT

Your consciousness snaps into the Subconscious layer.

The dreary waiting room dissolves, replaced by a towering, fortified IRM Border Checkpoint occupying the exact same space. The dying man is no longer on the floor. He is standing at the glowing gates, a frantic soul desperately trying to push a literal wheelbarrow made of solid gold, overflowing with blindingly bright essence, toward the Banking Halls.

He has exactly six minutes of waking-world brain activity left before his soul is foreclosed.

Behind the reinforced glass, the Hollow receptionist's eyes burn with cold, white light. She slams a massive red button on her desk. The lockdown klaxons begin to blare.

"Unscheduled Death Event detected. Commencing asset liquidation."


The dying man spots you. "Ten percent!" he screams over the klaxons, his voice echoing with the weight of hyper-inflated billions. "Get me through the gates and I'll give you ten percent of the wheelbarrow!"





PLAYER DIRECTIVES

The clock is ticking. You have six minutes of real-world time (which stretches into hours within the Dreamscape) to decide how you will exploit this bureaucratic chaos.


    [] The Escort: Accept his deal. Smash through the Border Checkpoint's red tape and drag his wealth into the Banking Halls before his brain dies. (10% of this fiat is enough to buy functional immortality).
    [] The Smuggler: Why help him? Hijack the wheelbarrow, detonate an Epiphany Bomb in the waiting room to awaken all the dreary NPC commuters, and use the psychic riot to mask your escape with the stolen funds.
    [] The Comptroller / Arbitrageur: Side with the IRM. Help the Hollow receptionist stall the man with aggressive, nonsensical red tape until his six minutes run out. Securing the assets for the Crown will earn you massive favor in the deep state.
    [] The Wildcard: Do something entirely unexpected to break the ledger.





I. PLAYER CLASSES (THE AWAKENED OPERATIVES)
These are individuals who have achieved full consciousness within the dreamscape. They are aware of the cosmic ledger and possess the agency to manipulate dream-fiat or waking-world friction.

[Audit Escort]
Description: Elite psychic mercenaries who specialize in the "Deathbed Run." When a wealthy client flatlines in the waking world, the Escort manifests in the IRM lobby to physically shield, carry, and navigate the client’s mountain of dream-fiat into the Banking Halls before brain death occurs.

[Friction Smuggler]
Description: Ideological rebels or black-market criminals who weaponize enlightenment. They pool their dream-funds to buy illegal "Attunement Filters" and "Epiphany Bombs," injecting vividness and clarity into the dim, gray dreams of the sleepwalking poor.

[Crown Comptroller]
Description: Deep-state agents working directly for the British Monarchy and the House of Lords. Their entire existence is dedicated to maintaining the "Dial"—keeping the British populace in a state of perfectly balanced, low-level melancholy so the national currency stays stable and relevant.

[Ledger Arbitrageur]
[Description: The ultimate high-stakes financial gamblers. They track hyper-inflation in the waking world and currency spikes in the dreamscape, shorting or buying national psychic forces to manipulate the landscape of the dream world for profit.




II. SYSTEMIC ENTITIES (THE INHABITANTS)
The spectrum of consciousness across the twin realms, defined by wealth, suffering, and the state of the soul.

The Immortals
Those who successfully navigated the Final Audit, paid their astronomical death tax, and bought permanent residency in the dreamscape. They live in pristine, high-fidelity neon palaces. However, because they are cut off from the waking world's suffering, they suffer from "Gilded Boredom" and a decay of true imagination. They frequently bribe the IRM to inflict luxury suffering on them just to feel a spark.

The Ascended
Immortals who eventually chose to entirely surrender their ego. They dissolve into pure, formless "Ascendant Essence." This is the highest and rarest currency in the universe, hoarded by the IRM as an emergency brake to drop into the collective national psyche when absolute chaos threatens to smash reality's balance.

The Sleepwalkers (The Unawakened Paupers)
The vast majority of the first-world populace. Because their nations are stable and sterile (the Universe 25 model), they lack psychic friction. Their dreams are dim, low-resolution, and gray. They walk through invisible paywalls in their own subconscious, entirely ignorant of the grand economic warfare happening around them.

The Awakened Poor
Citizens of third-world or hyper-inflated nations. Because their daily lives are forged in collective national suffering, they are violently, vividly awake in the dreamworld. They are highly attuned and fiercely competitive, desperately trying to hoard enough face-value fiat to buy immortality before their waking bodies give out.

The Hollow People
When a human in the waking world hits absolute rock bottom and their soul completely dies, the IRM sends an auditor to solemnly escort their psyche into the abyss. The remaining physical shell becomes a "Hollow Person." They possess a detectably stale, cold aura. The IRM and the Crown plant them throughout governments, civil services, and central banks because their complete lack of empathy makes them perfect tools for engineering the precise economic misery needed to print more dream-currency.




III. THE INTERNAL REVENUE OF THE MIND (THE IRM COGNITION)
A sprawling, symbiotic cosmic engine of bureaucratic horror. They are not explicitly evil—they harvest the friction of suffering because without it, the universe rots and goes cold. They maintain reality through ridiculous, hyperspecific friction.

The Department for Calculating the Value of a Stubbed Toe
A frontline micro-bureaucracy. They deploy invisible "Friction Agents" into the waking world to cause minor, sharp bursts of physical irritation, calculating the exact millth of a dream-cent generated by the resulting creative frustration.

The Bureau of Sundown Recoupment
The terrifying legal muscle of the IRM. They handle the forced liquidation of dream-estates. If a nation's waking-world currency stabilizes or undergoes a hard reset, this department manifests to instantly demolish the neon castles of that nation's dream-elite to balance the cosmic ledger.

The Ministry of Interdepartmental Friction
The soul of the IRM. This department exists solely to create nonsensical loops, red tape, and conflicting guidelines between the other departments. The pure, maddening frustration experienced by the IRM's own worker-peons is the central engine that keeps the cosmic fire burning.



DOCUMENT ID: IRM-992-LE-2026 // SYSTEM CHECK: STABLE // CHRONOMETER SYNCED
Death and Taxes
The House of Lords does not sleep. If you walk past Westminster at three in the morning, the light behind the stained glass isn’t from lamps—it is the stale, cold glow of a thousand hereditary peerages whose souls died during the Great Depression, currently being puppeted by a cosmic ledger. They sit in the dark, drafting legislation to ensure your trains are always late, your tea is always lukewarm, and your rent is always just high enough to keep you awake at night.

Because in this universe, reality requires a spark. And the spark is farmed through friction.

Welcome to the twin realms of existence. In the waking world, you trudge through the gray, mundane machinery of a society engineered to make you sigh. But when your eyes close, your spirit wakes up in the Dreamscape—and it brings its wallet.

There is no exchange rate here. The economic sins of the waking world are the absolute laws of the subconscious. The Swiss financier who lived in pristine, sterile luxury wakes up a shivering pauper in a low-resolution alleyway, barred by invisible paywalls from experiencing the true vividness of life. Meanwhile, the Zimbabwean trillionaire—whose waking life was forged in the fires of national hyper-inflation and collective psychic suffering—rules over a towering, neon metropolis of pure, compressed imagination. Here, money buys permanence. Money buys godhood. Money buys a functional immortality, provided you can pay the ultimate fee.

But the Internal Revenue of the Mind is always watching. They are a sprawling, symbiotic hellscape of nonsensical departments, cosmic middle-managers, and weaponized loopholes. They don't want you to escape. If you hit rock bottom, they will send a beautiful soul to solemnly escort your psyche into the abyss, leaving your body behind as a cold, stale asset to print more misery.

When your physical heart stops, the final audit begins. You will have mere minutes to sprint through the chaotic, bureaucratic banking halls of eternity, dragging your wealth behind you, fighting off rival lawyers, and bargaining away your very memories just to buy a ticket to forever.

The game is rigged, the math is backwards, and fuckery is highly encouraged.

Check your balance. The Taxmen are coming.

“They think the crown is heavy because of the gold. Fools. It’s heavy because it is a grounding rod for seventy million souls, humming with the precise wattage of a nation’s quiet desperation.

I sit on this gilded chair, performing the grand, ridiculous pantheon of our survival. The Jubilee, the Trooping of the Colour, the endless, agonizingly slow processions through the London drizzle. The press calls it tradition. The tourists call it pageantry. But the House of Lords and I know the bloody math. We are maintaining the Dial. A millimeter to the left, and the country becomes too prosperous, too content—the Universe 25 rot sets in, our dreams go gray and un-attuned, and the Crown loses its seat at the eternal table. A millimeter to the right, and the misery turns sharp, violent, and chaotic, inviting the IRM to send their cold, aura-less Hollows to forcefully restructure our parliament.

So, we cultivate the perfect, institutionalized sigh. We ensure the trains are precisely unreliable enough to cause a bitter grunt over the morning paper, but not enough to spark a revolution. We keep the taxes high enough to breed a dull, existential ache, but leave just enough room for a lukewarm cup of tea. It is a masterpiece of psychic plumbing. For a thousand years, my bloodline has exported the raw, screaming agony to the colonies to inflate their ledgers, keeping our domestic currency stable, pristine, and perfectly mediocre. We bought our immortality with the tears of continents, funneled through a labyrinth of Whitehall paperwork.

Every night, when my eyes finally close, I don't rest. I wake up in the high-fidelity spires of the Subconscious. I look down from my neon terraces at the Swiss bankers who sleepwalk through my slums like blurry, low-resolution ghosts, and I look across the psychic ocean at the trillionaire kings of Harare, whose empires are built on the glorious, hyper-inflated fires of their people’s suffering. They are loud. They are vibrant. But they burn out.

Britain does not burn out. We queue. We endure.

But lately, the internal auditors are whispering. Some newly-minted immortal, fat on tech-stock fiat and drowning in gilded boredom, paid the Bureau of the Common Inconvenience under the table just to feel a spark of genuine imagination. It threw the backend math into a frenzy. The ledger is bleeding. And down in the waking world, I can see the coldness spreading in the eyes of my ministers. The soul-foreclosures are accelerating. The IRM is moving its pieces.

My physical heart is ticking down. I have a few years left, at best. And when it finally stops, I won’t be met by angels. I will be met by a legalistic gauntlet of non-sequiturs and cosmic red tape. I will have to drag ten centuries of royal dream-fiat through the Banking Halls of the Mind, sprinting past the frantic, dying souls of billionaires, dodging the injunctions of rival dynasties, just to pay my final death tax.

I just hope the clerks at the window accept the old coinage. God save the King. Because the IRM certainly won’t.”
King George the VI 1942
I don't think that is possible with the given moderation tools.

You could have this account deleted and your old account renamed though. :)
Hi there,

Please do enjoy your time here on the guild. Make sure to read teh rulez and there are plenty guides for n00bs. :3

If you do end up enjoying yourself here, I look forward to looking back and seeing you cross the 3600 days mark. :p
578
Nice troll guys. I happened across this because of @LegendBegins Explanatory post in his recent posts.

Nearly shit a brick. :/

Honestly though. Got me good lol.
"Turn that shit off"

Brandon sighed and moved to the television to shut off the broadcast. Sarah just lay on the sofa with her face buried in her tapper, the embedded screen was glowing in her face. Her thoughts totally occupied by what was slowly flashing down. She'd been working on a new worm, she had the bright idea that it might get her into some systems unlinked from the main network. All it would take is for an infected tapper to connect to the unlinked system, and once again sometime later. When that tapper connected back to the main network it would dump a payload of files. She'd coded the worm in such a manner as to look for a list of keywords in files on a priority order.

"Seriously Sarah, you know the more you dig into this stuff the higher the chance you're going to end up like your grandfather", Sarah scoffed some, "You know I wear that as a badge of honour Brandon, there is little else to do down here other than make trouble. Besides, I've seen his calculations....he was right you know.", Brandon sighed again. "Even if he was right, does it really matter? Society has moved on, I don't think it could really prosper without the support infrastructure we've grown reliant on.", Sarah scoffed at that and gave him a kick from her comforting position on the sofa. "Brandon, there is only so long we can live down here....Tenna said that herself, her diary is simply fascinating you know. There were a lot of ideas she tried to implement that were overruled. She keeps mentioning this emergency evac system in her diary. I'm thinking there is something more to it.", Brandon was the one to scoff this time. "Just stop putting your nose in places it shouldn't be......More people are vanishing you know....I don't want you to be one of them", he got up from the floor and left. Sarah paid him no mind and then hit upload on her tapper.

A few days later

Sarah's tapper began to buzz. She didn't have alerts on for anything other than her project so she grinned. The first packet had been slipped back from her worm. She flicked through the file names, a whole heap of nothing. God, she wished she knew what she was looking for, then a curious little file got her attention. [U.A.I expulsion list], She opened up the file, and a list of dozens upon dozens of names came up. Some had been struck through, others had little question marks, and the whole document was colour coded. She simply didn't understand what she had in her hands. She didn't understand the worth of this document, she didn't understand the pain this document would put her through, for as she searched down the list, she spotted one singular name. Andrew Kruze.... Why was dad on this list?

She'd find out soon enough, as when she got home? The door had been broken in.
Can I make an IC post?

Or are we still waiting?
<Snipped quote by DarkStar>

You missed a space near the end between Figure and 2.

mrinitialman.com/OddsEnds/Sizes/comps…

Testing

It seems to display fine now, unless you're talking about how it shows ... part way through the url. Probably something related to url length, I guess. I don't know much about the site's actual coding.


Ah lovely. :3
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