Dinh AaronMk

RPGuild's Spam Hunger Games: Summer Slaughter edition

RIP (Player2).



The night begins as Kebab Seller finds a cave full of craft beer. However he's not alone in its discovery an d has to fight off Summer Smith and the American flag. His meat-slicing ways prove to be a formidable match for the two, and they're forced to retreat to avoid further injury. Kebab seller wins a cave full of beer.

Fort Sumter sees fire in the distance, but it's questionable if that's the fire Aquaman set on Katty Perry with a molotov, or the fire of revolution that burns with Hunter S. Thompson and the mysterious Player 2. If revolution were to spring up this summer, what side is Fort Sumter on?

Likely still reeling from last night's heroin daze, Taaj's Dog seeks medical attention at the wings of the Cocoa Puffs mascot. Maybe a brighter, cleaner future is in store for her? Whichever the case: Vilage curls up in a box like a cat and finds a comfy, snug fit.

Wade Wilson cries himself to sleep, sad he does not have any love nor a comfy cardboard box. But at least he isn't Andrew WK who finds a cave full of cheap shitty beer.



Day begins with baseball, and the surprise deaths of an entire garrison of a fort at the hand of one man as Knight Shade takes Fort sumter off guard and kills everyone inside. If that didn't count for one death, Knight would for sure be this games biggest killer!

Hunter S. Thompson better be careful with killers like that on the loose. For being as untanned as he is, he can be seen clear to Gondor. Let's pray Knight Shade doesn't notice or care, or our newest, most blood-thirsty killer may go out to look for him. Or maybe single-person targets aren't his thing? After the grizzly murder of Fort Sumter's garrison, carpet bombing may be more Knight Shade's thing. Still, Hunter's complexion begs this to be posted:



Though, maybe there's still a chance for someone to out-murder Knight Shade in these games. Kanye West, not wanting to be outdone in anything kill two in one go. Slaying Doivid and the Cocoa Puffs bird in one go.

Quibbles contracts Zika. This may be a death sentence. Or maybe it doesn't mean anything.

Klairre and the American Flag though retreat from the day's violence to play their respective video games. So that's something, I guess. But they won't find any Dorritos or Mountain Dew there!

And Kebab seller kills Taaj as Brownie Bun is implied.



The glorious dead.

RPGuild's Spam Hunger Games: Summer Slaughter edition

Today we roll out with... broken events. I think I know what went wrong but it's too late to fix them. As it was at the time too, I said "fuck it" and continued. So what we have in the end is a lot of crazy.

Speaking of, Kebab Man starts waving at everyone. But since it's the middle of the night no one cares. He may be crazy, but at least he's not overcome with the insanity of inspiration that has caught Andrew WK, who decided to set aside his stupid tough-guy image to draft sweeing economic reforms to probably push on congress when they're not on summer vacation (whenever that ends).

Meanwhile, inspired by her trip to Gaylord, Michigan: Malinda May decides to go on a quest to build a whole new nation. Why? Who knows. Maybe she was just inspired by the charms of small town Michigan.

Weapon XI continues his optimal strategy. Hasn't done much so far: but that may be the point. If he can be low-key no one will notice. He could be our first pacifist winner!

Speaking of Pacifism, Taaj's dog spends the night high on heroin and in the stoned daze kills the nefarious Various.

And as Vilage and hundreds - or thousands - of others break into song, Hitler sleeps in a Porsche Cayman trunk, and several people sleep in shifts no doubt uneasy by the chorus of song from the Union lines.



I wonder if the American Flag can hear them in its nightly madness.



Stephen Hawking goes in search of water as Wade Wilson goes to New Mexico to go off-roading in the desert. Excuse the odd space, I did not give a fuck and my space-bar is fucky.

Malinda May goes to Florida to lift at Muscle Beach, she probably meets ClocktowerEchoes there too and I can only imagine they competitively lifted weights while staring at each other. No doubt listening to German marching tunes that Hitler may have left there.



I can lift to this.

Meanwhile, an entire baseball team offers itself on the alter of sacrifice to a guerilla who obliges with reluctance. A butt camouflages itself nearby.

But while he may not be practicing arm day at Muscle Beach, Hitler at the least flexes his brain muscles in internet RP and gets to work composing terribly long RP posts to dump on everyone and everything. It'll be his final solution! Or so he says when he works up the effort to actually DO anything.

Meanwhile, weed is recieved. Vilage looks at dank memes on KYM. Horse wife gets a bomb from ISIS and Weapon XI moves to the next stage of his master plan: making a fresh spear so he gets the repair quality edge of everyone else.



Only two people died.

Point of No Return (Extreme Great Depression Alternate History)

How does Dethkiller's government even work again, now I look at it?

RPGuild's Spam Hunger Games: Summer Slaughter edition

>The American-Flag plans a roadtrip that goes hilariously wrong.

#ManifestDestiny

@Vilageidiotx

RPGuild's Spam Hunger Games: Summer Slaughter edition

And we're off to the races!



And now let's strike up those wild summer tunes, as brought to you by Mike and The Mid-Morning-Afternoon Misfits!



So let's get down to the murder:



Vilage begins the initial grab-bagging with some heavy munitions, taking with him a magnum before disappearing into the trees. Fights break out at the Cornucopia where Taaj kills old Count Dracula before he could do anything. The murder, witnessed by Quibbles inspires the pony to run away to save his energy for another day.

Meanwhile, Weapon XI determines the optimal course for his survival in the games, and shall commit to that as Mr. Regular - not giving a fuck - smokes a blunt with Snoop Dog/Lion and watches nature documentaries.



Meanwhile, /MLP/'s Divegrass team plans a summer album. I can only imagine it'll play off like this piece of trash.



The day continues with the murder of Azarthes at the hands of Hunter S. Thompson, who probably fueled by acid and either managed to convince Azarthes to not kill him, only for Gonzo to kill him himself.

Meanwhile, the Sarlac Pit waves at everyone.

At /MLP/'s run in the games ends like their first game in the 2016 Summer Cup: a disaster. But at least they take Atilla with him. Vilage falls into depression when he finds Back to School supplies, a reminder that summer is not permanent.

And so as William S. Burrough, Quibbles, Doivid, and Hitler raid the camp of the American Flag, Harambe blows me up.

Katy Perry finds a handgun in a truck, and Weapon XI's ultimate plan leads him to loot Andrew WK's picnic. Where was your magnum, Andrew?

The Boys of Summer strangle Mr. Regular, ending his career of car reviews as an entire Carolinian fort takes Malinda, Kanye, and Broby on a road-trip to a town in northern Michigan.



And Day 1 ends here.

Point of No Return (Extreme Great Depression Alternate History)

<Snipped quote by Dinh AaronMk>

Dude, I'm always a cadet (that's what active duty means, brah) but I'm back to a classroom environment. We only do cool guy training during the summer. That's when I'm black for a month at a time, since I'm off fighting imaginary enemies in the mountains.

@TheEvanCat

I thought you said you were a corporal now or something.

Clearly I know jack-shit about New York's little gray castle.

Point of No Return (Extreme Great Depression Alternate History)

<Snipped quote by ONL>

To be fair, I think the GM is gone for like work or something so it's less of an abandonment and more of a "real-life priorities" thing. He hasn't even posted in a while (meaning he's actually not active instead of blowing us off) and says he'll be back on Sunday on his profile.

Once real priorities are taken care of we can figure out exact canon points. Patience is key.

@TheEvanCat

Speaking of which, and knowing you: any foreseeable circumstances in the future where West Point will have to borrow you in the future? Or are extended field-days a thing of the passed now you're not technically a cadet?

RPGuild's Spam Hunger Games: Summer Slaughter edition

I have actually ran the sim, taken the screenshots, and edited them. It is thirty-parts long. I will begin posting them tonight.

Upon Our Changing Times

I totally didn't forget.

Upon Our Changing Times

Sü

The old soldier sat over the table, his legs cross over each other, the tops of his rounded knees angled over the table. The ground was stiff but warm under his buttocks. The small wooden home smelled lousy of pork and spices from a morning of cooking and preparing breakfast. Now the soldier's wife was in the next room, preparing the left-overs to be used further in lunch and ultimately dinner.

Dressed in loose fitting robes and a dropping brown sash that ran over the shoulder and down to the hip the soldier looked like a pauper in good care. He mid-life now, late into his thirties. But he was also going along fast. Sun had baked his skin dark and hard, shrinking it against a wide bony face. His eyes looked down a the wooden plate with globs of white sticky rice mixed with cuts of cut and stone-friend pork mixed in. A few coins worth of cut greens lay to the side, undisturbed as bit by bit the man shoveled away pieces of rice with his fingers. His tongue ran across his long thin lips, cleaning off anything that got trapped there or in the beard that was already beginning to run the signs of late age with witheringly white strands in places. He kept it otherwise clean and trim, it followed a wide jaw-line and continued those lines until it met with a sharp spade tip.

There was a knock from the door, stirring the man on the floor to look up. He eyes, perhaps small for his head turned up and he called in a raspy voice, “Who is it?”

“Nyutien,” a voice from the other side yelled, “You wanted to discuss some things with me?”

Yu Fung nodded knowingly. A bit of pressure he didn't know he was with-holding released and he sighed as he stood up, taking the wooden plate with him. He went to the door, and opened it. Greeting their village officer with a bow. “Nyutien.” the commander of Sü's watch said as if addressing a casual friend.

“I didn't both you, did I?” asked Nyutien.

“Hardly, I sometimes expect to be bothered by someone when I'm eating. It's the time people often spring this on me. Come, we'll talk up-stairs.” Yu invited, leading Nyutien in.

Yu Fung's home was old, but not the century old amalgam building that was the sort of structures commanded by Nyutien, reflecting a growing entrenchment and prestige in the old families such as himself, those old iron-wood central trucks of a great crawling fig. As true as the comparison is could be called, there were plenty of Bang houses, or individuals related to scattered through Sü's farmlands. But there were hardly any Fung's.

Yu Fung's father migrated to the village from the west. The story was that he was pursued for high-crimes in the Empire in the far distant horizon. But he had run so far that they had ceased to chase him. Fungyen, Yu's father settled himself in Sü, and then garnered notoriety when on a hunting trip he had not just returned with a small deer, but two native wives. Both he took as concubines as sorts. One died young, only sixteen during childbirth; her offspring died stillborn. But Fungyen did mourn her and instead impregnated the other local girl, who may have been nearer to her twentieth year, she bore two children before she was overcome with depression and drowned herself.

The mixed blood helped to explain Yu's complexion, where others were more olive in complexion, near to a faded lemon yellow at times Yu was from the womb a darker boy.

The simplicity of the home unit was as well a sign of a less than prestigious heritage. It was modest, un-decorated, and naked in the walls. There hadn't been an interest to finish the wood even, and it stood as graying as an older stable. The wood creaked under the two mens' feet as they ascended the narrow wooden steps, barely wide enough to accept a man facing forward. Nyutien's clothes brushed along the walls as he followed his chief to more private rooms.

“As I told you, we're having problems.” Yu said as they made it to the second landing, “Usually I wouldn't care much if farmer's and frontiersmen weren't complaining. These don't usually come up as often as to be irritating and they don't often leave behind blood.”

“Did someone get killed?” Nyutien asked, worried.

Yu stopped and turned to him, sucking off a few grains of rice sticking to his fingers. Usually, this would irritate Nyutien, but he had to hold himself back from a man known to be insufferably angry, and who was the best wrestler in the village. “No.” he answered, “But Nyun is stuck trying to reset a few bones, dig an arrow out of someone's thigh, and has another man who hasn't woke up from a long sleep. He had to patch the later's head with clay and cotton and hope he doesn't spill his brains.

“I've had five incidents brought to me this passed week alone.”

“Why haven't I been told earlier?” Nyutien demanded. This was clearly not a minor event.

“I was waiting to see if they die down.” Yu admitted dismissively, “besides, the last three were sprung fast. They managed to make off with a cow.”

Nyutien was flustered with agitation. “So what do you need?” he asked.

“Men, weapons, and fire.” Yu requested, continuing their walk, “I'll burn them out of the woods and bring the entire tribe responsible to town as slaves.”

“I can not risk that!” Nyutien nearly shouted, “You don't even know who is responsible. I can't met your demands unless I know what and who is doing this.”

“Force is going to be the only way to put them in their place.” Yu grumbled. He was maybe right, he had more experience as well hunting and taking on hostile or interloping groups before. But he was also rash, and needed to be restrained. And already Yu's dark face was glowing red with anger.

The two entered a room at the far end of a narrow hall, and Yu sat; throwing his plate onto the ground and promptly leaned over it to eat, craning his neck up like that of a crow. His long black hair dropped down to his shoulders.

“I will let you pursue them.” Nyutien said, and the wrath in Yu's face ebbed. Then Nyutien added the clincher: “But only to probe them. I don't want a direct fight. Meanwhile I want preventative measures here around the village; a wall.”

“A wall?” Yu snorted, “I'm sure they won't be able to climb it. But if I'm going to be “probing” I doubt that we'd have a wall up before I provoke something more. It's not as simple as that.”

“And how is it not that simple?” Nyutien asked.

Yu took a minute to chew through more food before entertaining the response: “Ignoring them clearly will mean they continue as-is, looting us. Probing means we may anger them and they'll attack us. Our only choice is to eliminate them wholly.”

Nyutien sat silent, watching Yu sloppily eat away. Then looked out the window. He looked back at him and said: “You don't even know where they are, do you?” he asked.

Yu looked up from his food. “I'll find out.” he said mumbling.

“So make it part of your tracking.” Nyutien said, “But in the mean time I want your men to help me build a wall.”

Yu grumbled incoherently for a minute. Sucked on his fingers as he starred at a corner in thought. Then admitted: “Alright.”

“So we have a deal.” Nyutien acknowledged with a relieved nod, “I will get things together soon. I expect you'll start picking out men to prowl the jungles then.”

“This afternoon.” Yu grumbled.

“Very well, thank you for the audience.” Nyutien said as he rose, bowing.