Doc Doctor

The Final Hazard

@Terminal@WiseDragonGirl

"Ayuh, coffee first, and a laundromat. If yuh ain' noticed, we went through a real double skunkin' jus' go get intah a position tah save yah hide. Ah wanna tawlk privately with yah as well Mistah Aesh. Ah'm thah kinda fella who don't move lessin' he knows what he's in for. A'course yah could say Ah shouldn't expect any unfahseen problems, but, well... Odd thing. Ah find mahself both drench'd in blood, an' not quite skippah tah take yah at your word, frahnd."

The Final Hazard

@Terminal

Donny rose, absolutely soaked in gore. He moved up beside Andy, swaying unsteadily with the hopelessly bloody cigarette stuck to his left cheek. He angled an ear towards the old man in a way reminiscent of a listening dog, awaiting a much anticipated response. Donny seemed even more calm than usual, despite appearing a little off balance. The kind of calm you see in someone after they find the person who killed their parents, shot their horse, and burned their house down. The quiet before the storm.

The Final Hazard

@Terminal

Donny had curled up his side, covering his head with his arms like how children are taught to position themselves during an earthquake. No witty tricks now, only waiting out the storm as best he could. The fancy armor wouldn't protect them, and neither would trying to escape. Donny had a vague idea that perspective could influence reality around here, but he was most likely incapable of utilizing the advantage properly. Donny was practical to a fault, and as such his ability to force himself to believe the impossible was virtually nonexistent, he had to see it first. Even he was aware of this, and this exact meta-awareness was what kept him from being able to use said reality warping perspectives, because he'd know he knew he was using them. He could trick others, but he couldn't trick himself. He was too tricky for himself. At least, that's what he figured, and because he figured that it-...

Donny found himself in the grip of a headache, suddenly. He was probably going to die any second, and to top it all off he had a migraine.

"Fawk mah life."

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL (Team Battle - Nobody Vs. Doc)

@ImportantNobody

Suliss fired off the Siphon as Ombard stepped in front of Evvie, a close range burst of tangy yellow light that would sap about ten percent of the warrior's strength. If it hit, that strength would be converted into another spell. One meant to conjure nightmares. It didn't look like energy, but a bruised swirl of protoplasmic meat pushing out from the flesh of Suliss's hand and crawling up the dagger to meet Evvie's blood, trailing veins and tendons behind it. Blood that was as dark as tar dripped /upwards/ from the engorged mass of evil magic, falling into the sky. This was the kind of bad shit that made necromancy look like daisy picking.

When Evvie lunged over Ombard, Suliss mewled in surprise and let loose with the Wrack, intending to hit the girl during her jump. Pure pain represented as a hissing red bolt crackled towards her! If it was enough to stop her from utterly wrecking the physically weak Suliss, then he'd unceremoniously try to turn tail and run to stall for time. If she was able to take the stupendous pain well enough to still batter the wizard, he'd even resort to crawling or dragging himself away. Ten percent of the energy of a common man meant four seconds of progress towards the bogle, the same amount of time and power needed to charge a stage two Siphon. Depending on just how many common men Ombard equals, it could be quite a boost.

The Final Hazard

@Terminal

Donny watched everything transpire with stony indifference, his trusty poker face as impeccable as it ever was. Contrary to said outer expression, his inner self was frothing with turmoil. He hadn't disciplined his mind and body for the rigors of intensive combat just to die some ridiculous Willy Wonkian death alongside a crew of unutterably incompetent misfits. He debated whether he should spend his last moments hugging and repenting, or dismembering everyone.

Triumph of thah will Naow, triumph of thah will. Control yahself, Donneh ol' boy...

Good. Good. Naow haow yah gonnah sahvive bein' turn'd intah a supahsonic Beyblade?

Out of the corner of his eye, Donny watched Hiecro. He recalled how her armor had effortlessly absorbed nearly any energy that it had made contact with. Donny needed no more initiative. He determined to give everyone one minute to fix the problem. He figured that if things got any worse, he might speed up the plan a bit.

Donny brought his watch up and began staring at it. The others might notice the hitman absently shaking out a cigarette and lifting it to his lips as he counted each second.

The Final Hazard

@Terminal

Donny swaggered over into the pressure field. Just before they assumedly took off, he'd silently pass gas. Flying dutch oven, anyone?

The Final Hazard

@Terminal

With a grunt donny disassembled his contraption, tugged his shoe back on, replaced his reel, and ditched the piss rod over a shoulder before walking back to the others. His little science experiment had been interesting, but pointless.

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL (Team Battle - Nobody Vs. Doc)

@ImportantNobody

Two flat yellow eyes glared into Evvie's, pungent hatred apparent in their disassociative regard. At that proximity, she'd have been able to make out a face as well. A stained slit of a mouth, a nose waxy and cracked with snot. The remnants of a dull gray beard, unkempt and dotted with flakes of dandruff. Suliss did not take good care of the bodies it stole. After all, they were only ever temporary.

The cloaked figure suddenly stepped back and the dagger flickered between them, a darting slash whistling towards Evvie's face.

The Final Hazard

@Terminal

Donny paused out of sight as he witnessed time and space dilate. It was pretty trippy. Donny then realized that a bolt of lightning had been fired in his direction, but was hilariously slow. For now, at least. Donny had really only been intending to apply cyanide to every weapon he held which could fit through a visor, but under the new circumstances, he supposed that he had time to take a whiz. He unzipped his fly and began peeing against the wall, simultaneously wondering if his rubber soled shoes would prevent him from getting fried if time sped up. He was no scientist, but he had a few ideas of how things worked around here. Then, inspiration struck. He stopped pissing long enough to haul out his retractable golf club. With the push of a button and a flick of the wrist, it extended and locked into its full size. Donny then resumed draining ol' Nessie, only this time he whizzed all over the golf club.

Once he had finished, he pulled off his left shoe and inserted the head of the club into it. He laced it up tighter than a California whore. Feeling very much like his childhood hero, Macgyver, Donny extracted the wire reel from his watch and bound one end through the ring loop at the base of the club. Juggling the equipment in his arms, he slipped his ballistic knife out and removed the blade to tie the other end of the wire around the indented part meant to keep it locked inside the hilt.

Donny moved to the very corner that he had come from and propped the club upright, so that it was in view of both the stop light orb and Hiecro. He glanced back and noted the lightning was still coming closer. Donny slipped around the corner and out of sight of the lightning and orb, in view of the others, an assumedly safe position, and waited for any signs that time was about to speed up again.

The Final Hazard

@Terminal

Donny backed away to a safe distance, before trotting behind the corner of a building. As he went, he called over his shoulder.

"Awll this essitement has loosen'd mah bladdah. Be back in fahve, frahnds."