Call me Doc. I prefer RM, UM, or LP fights, with human or peak human hand-to-hand or swords & sandals being my speciality. Challenge me to a match any old time!
Setting- Unknown. Everthing familiar has changed. A light, luminous mist has blanketed everything that is, and colossal, dimly seen forms can be seen moving strangely in the far distance and in the now boundless sky. Distant howls of terror, the eerie screams of every mind can be faintly heard for thousands of miles as human imagination becomes uncontrollable reality, and all things terrible are realized in ways that are best left unseen and undescribed. Facere's cave has been one of the few things left untouched by whatever has stricken the land with unreality. In the area around tbe cave, for several miles, the ground is still firm and the trees are still trees. Beyond that is fantasy, no man's land, a pure dreamscape that, once entered, cannot be escaped. It is the boundary.
I so much enjoyed my last 2v1, that I'm already up for another! Anybody wanna gang up on me? Here's your chance. Maybe we can even have a 3v1. Same tier as before, human level characters with medieval weapons.
For this one I'll use reliable old Zande. Setting is up for grabs, if anyone has a good idea.
Name: Zande Khanda Epithet: The Vulture Age: 32 Height: 6'4" Weight: 195 pounds Boxing Reach: 84.5 in Race: Human Class: Warrior Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Weapons and Equipment- Two three kilo bearded sparth axes with snap button sheathes for fast access, a weighted serrated knife with a foot long blade, two seven inch steel karambit knives, three seven steel inch throwing knives, a blowgun and eight darts with inland taipan venom, three one-ounce leather pouches of spitting cobra venom, rubber soled boots with three eight inch steel claws on each foot, steel chestplate, large paldrons with protruding spikes that can stop and snag bladed weapons, steel shinguards, underclothing made from dragonhide (like an extremely tough form of steel chainmail with no gaps), a trained pet vulture acting as a spotter, a black steel war mask in the shape of a flat, ghoulish skull, and reinforced fingerless iron gauntlets imbedded with cast iron bird skulls.
(The axes "Hot Steppa", slang for Free Criminal, & "Jancro", slang for Vulture)
Appearance- Zande is a tall, lean man whose musculature is best likened to that of a starved jaguar. The dense, tube-like muscles adorning his long arms and legs allow him to exude a great air of physical prowess despite his wiry look. Unwashed dreadlocks hang over lurid, amber eyes whilst high cheekbones accentuate his abnormal jaw muscles, the feral aspect pushed even further by his sharpened teeth and fingernails. He wears the skulls of recent victims upon his belt and is never without his clawed boots and tribal mask. A skull and crossbones is sewn upon his cloak.
Physical Abilities/Skills- Zande's untamed strength is far greater than his appearance would suggest, albeit reasonably less than that of a formidable professional weightlifter. He can bench 350 and run twenty-five miles per hour on average. His most impressive traits consist of his incredible biting and striking power. He hits like a lumberjack on PCP, and never neglects to train his jaws by chewing through blocks of wood and chunks of rubber, rendering him capable of chomping through an unhusked coconut in seconds. As he was raised a jungle wildman, he can scurry up and down obstacles with contemptuous ease and move with a silent swiftness comparable to his native brethren.
He's able to throw all of his weapons with tremendous speed, force, and accuracy.
Personality~ Despite appearing as an unabashed murderer 24/7, Zande comes off surprisingly chill. He'll greet strangers with nods and smiles, share food and drink on a whim, and help out passersby who seem in need. He affords everyone his good humor and generosity- even his victims, although his generosity doesn't extend to letting them live. He prefers to make friends with those he hunts, as Zande is actually emotionally sensitive beneath his harsh exterior.
He takes rejection badly, can't stand being the brunt of insults, is prone to nightmares over innocuously silly things (he has an incredible phobia of cats), and in general sways between being a relaxed, cold-blooded manhunter, and a manic depressive schizophrenic depending on how others treat him.
In battle, he blooms with a black passion which transmogrifies him into the killing machine that he is, a demon-brained predator who relentlessly chases down his prey. His psychotic rushdowns are legendary for both the consistency of their success and for their ability to force most opponents into a defensive lock, the threat of his wild axes preventing them from counterattacking or fleeing, bullying and grinding hapless opponents right into the ground until their shield and willpower crumples beneath the onslaught.
Background- In the darkest depths of a savage jungle wilderness, shrouded in dread Congo mysteries beneath a sky of eternal blackness, there existed a tribe of maneaters. One would think that there would be no bottom amidst the depths of their depravity. Yet, a young boy native to this landscape of monsters found it. The word "bloodthirsty" is often thrown about. However, no other description of Zande holds so true. He was exiled from his village for exceptional reasons and became a freelance mercenary and bandit leader, feared across the land. He's a cannibal and a headhunter, who seeks to further his reputation by collecting the skulls of formidable opponents. What about the rest you say? All the bloody details of his life? Nay. He has accomplished many feats, but a story like that of Zande's is monotonous in its repetition. He travels, he trains, he kills, he sleeps. Why worry about the details, bwana?
Looking out from the entrance to Zande's lair. The inside is remarkably large, yet with so little elbow room.
Take your pick off my character list. It's pretty fuckin' wacky how few replies challenge threads get, so the least I can do is be everone's punching bag.
By the way, still haven't gotten around to switching banks, but dammit, I do plan on doing business with you as soon as I finish leveling out my new life in Colorado.
"Why, WHY TOM? If I weren't immortal I'd not have even considered helping you with this. What's the point!?"
"You juuuust don't get it, do ya Ozzy, my boy? You can't do things half-assed. You gotta run the full mile, shoot for the stars, y'know?"
"This isn't shooting for the stars, it's dragging around a literal ton of interdimensional monster with a moving dolly. How'd you even find and capture it!? I thought you could only do stupid shit like materialize midgets and make poop sparkles or whatever. Also, don't call me Ozzy."
"The less you know the better, Ozzy. Some things just weren't made for simple folk like yourself to understand. It's beyond your puny compensation."
"Comprehension, not compensation, Tommy."
"Oh, well FUCK you too."
A strange pair, they were, a cat-eyed knight and a clean cut man in a white suit tugging a massive black cube roughly the size of a mini-cooper towards the fortress. It didn't look fun. The cube abruptly bucked hard to the side, and with a yelp Auz darted back to catch it and, wheezing with effort, shove it back onto the dolly before it unbalanced.
"Why didn't you at least tranquilize the damn thing before you put it in there!? Why didn't you rent a moving truck instead of just a $#@% dolly!? Goddamn you Tom, I'm so much older than you it's not even funny. This is more than disrespect for your elders, its nearly murder!"
"Quit whinin' son, we're almost there. And no, I couldn't just 'tranquilize the damn thing'. I found it in that box to start with, who knows how it wound up like that. You think I'd open that shit up and try to feed it some sedatives? Sweet corn on the cob, Ozzy, you could at least be thankin' me for findin' it before someone else did! Damn good thing I'm a wizard who knows about this kinda thing."
"You haven't said why you didn't rent a U-Haul though."
"Aaaaanyways, look! It's just over that bluff. We'll try to fix 'em ourselves, flush the freaks outa this dimension, and we'll only open the box as a last resort. I swear."
"I don't trust you Tom. I never trusted you."
"Then why're you helpin' me tote an eldritch abomination towards an army of meta-beings that emerged from a quantum tear near an abandoned fortress hundreds of miles from civilization?"
"Then go face your death somewhere else! This sand wasn't meant to be stained by your blood, cockslapper! HMPH! I've had enough of this horseshit! Damned if I'll murder some loony gooch clinger in front of a thousand adoring FANS."
Kull abruptly let her go and backed away for several feet before turning his back on her to stride away. She might've been able to chuck something pointy at him, but few fighters put effort into learning to throw swords with any semblance of skill. Any warrior worth their salt either had weapons that were meant to be thrown, or none at all. He barked an order at the guards stationed by the gates as he made his way towards the stands.
"Escort that urine crumpet to the med ward and patch her up just enough for her trip home. In the name of sweet, sweet DONKEY SEX, BRING ME SOME WINE! Slaying is such f*cking thirsty work!"
Kull was no aikido master, but he knew how to hurt a human body. It was like the opposite of the golden rule; do unto others what you don't want done to yourself. As Dame flinched from his bloody spit he employed his own brand of improvised martial arts. He threw a swift snap kick with his rear left leg, seeking to dislodge her right kneecap from its socket with the unforgiving metal toe of his greave whilst she was distracted, before levering her hard to the ground by her twisted arm. If all went well, she'd wind up on her back with her arm still stiffly held, and the looming Kull's gladius half raised and ready to fall like the wrath of a Hyborean god. He'd be near her right side. His legs were the most available stabbing targets, but it'd come at the cost of her life to attack, if she wound up in that position. He was also aware that she could spit at him in return, and was deadset not to let his guard down. He'd had many a foe try to use his own tricks against him in a tight spot.
"I'm not trying to make it personal, damn you! You're a toadhumping duelist or something, not a gladiator! I don't want to have to- URRRRGH!! How can I say it!? Does a baker try to bake in the workshop of a shoe maker!? Can a shoe maker find pride in making better shoes than a f*cking BAKER!?"
"OOOH, IF THIS WERE A KITCHEN I'D %$#@ YOUR ASSHOLE, SHOE MAKER."
"OH NO, I'LL KILL YOU FOR DARING TO BAKE BREAD IN MY ANUS PUCKERING WORKSHOP. ALL I DO IS POOP OUT SHOES ALL DAY LONG LIKE AN OBESE ELF WITH THE SPICY SCOOTS."
"Well I got news for you, sexy woman! If a shoe maker killed a baker, HE'D GO OUTA BUSINESS..."
*Beat*
*Kull realized he'd strayed a little off track.*
"And... Argh... It's my responsibility to apologize for the MORONS that took you out of your bakery. So... Don't make me kill you, dammit. Settle for a thumb war with me instead if you're that pissed, or Rock, Paper, Scissors!"
The reason Kull liked to take hits on the forehead? The forehead was hard. He'd messed up the knuckles of many fighters by letting them sock his brainplate. Dislocated knuckles, fractured metacarpals... Though it depended on how hard they attacked. She'd tried to jab at his eye, and might've ended up jamming her thumb good on his helm instead. That being said, she'd be able to slide it down into his eye, extracing a roar of pain from the man. It took his breath away, how much it hurt. It was very painful, yes, but not at all lethal and Kull knew it. He had to keep fighting for his life, had to kill the urge to cringe or pause to take a breather, had to own up to the pain and power through it. In a reactive flash, like when you slap a bee that's stung you, his left hand surged up to sieze her right hand in a crushing grip and wrench her off his grimacing face, twisting cruelly to lock her arm out to the side, all the while keeping his head turned enough to maintain sight of her with his good eye. He'd abruptly spit a fat gout of blood at her eyes, accumulated from his damaged sinuses, potentially making her flinch. He wasn't worried about her attacking with her dagger, though he was anticipating it. To do so she'd leave herself open, and Kull had many ways of creaming someone. It was her only remaining defense, and she probably knew she had only one shot with it.
Name: Auz von Kilinger Epithet: Sir Auz the Undying Age: 462, but only about a youthful 28 in appearance. Height: 5'11" Weight: 165 pounds Race: Human, Semi-Immortal
Weapons and Equipment-
*Steel cuirass, chainmail tunic, tassets, greaves, open face helm, and 4 1/2" bladed gauntlets. The works.
*120 centimeter, magically indestructible straight sword known as the Mord Sword, a unique weapon with a razor sharp pommel and extra width and weight at the base of the blade.
(The Mord Sword)
*Narrow steel buckler with three 6" blades.
*Two steel knives, a stiletto with a 7" blade and a gauche dagger with a 12" blade.
Appearance- Auz is slender but sturdy man, with a light blonde bowl cut and yellow cat's eyes rimmed in red, as if he rarely gets good sleep. He has cruel eyebrows and usually wears a fittingly leonine expression, that of a man ready to fight to the death for shits and giggles. Over his heart is a black tattoo of an ouroboros.
Abilities/Skills- Auz is an aggressive, calculating swordsman who employs techniques from the German School of Fencing, as well as irregular moves of his own design. He's highly versatile and creative with his long sword, able to use it in just about any way that can be imagined. Additionally he's skilled with his two knives and at using his buckler as a weapon, and has no qualms about utilising any part of his body to fight. Physically, he's got a heavy lean towards speed over strength. He's frightfully fast, a sort of Bruce Lee among fencers, so to speak. Naturally it's not possible to swing your sword as wantonly as your fist, but regardless most warriors that encounter Auz for the first time are utterly taken aback by his diabolical swiftness, unforgiving reflexes, and vicious intellect. With a dagger in hand, he can swipe so quickly that an untrained opponent wouldn't even register the blade passing before their face until they felt the blood running down their chin.
He can sprint at 21 MPH, throw a punch at 47 MPH, and at full swing the last five inches of his sword can reach speeds in excess of 115 MPH.
Auz is unable to physically age past 28, and has a total of nine lives to expend against any single opponent, hence his epithet. He's considered dead when either his heart stops beating or his brain permanently ceases function. His body will resurrect no more than thirty feet of where he died, and no closer than ten feet after a period of one to nine seconds, his corpse quickly fading into a crimson glow that vanishes and then reappears in a random spot, instantly forming into his fresh (and fully equipped) body. Every time Auz dies to an entity separate from himself, he becomes 25% faster than he was in his previous body for a period of twenty-four hours. His body does indeed become tougher and stronger in order to withstand the greater speeds, his thought processes improve so he can react at his current speed, and yes, Auz can commit suicide and return to life, but it won't benefit him in the same way as getting slain by an enemy. Auz can kill himself and respawn using his nine lives every twenty-four hours, but he won't gain any speed from it, rather, it becomes a way for him to heal himself. When he uses his lives for suicide, it won't decrease how many lives he has against an opponent, thus, it is more efficient to call them 'suicide lives', independent from his 'battle lives'. Obviously his tolerance for pain is more or less redundant, as could be expected from someone who has spent hundreds of years dying horribly. In addition to his semi-immortality, Auz wields a number of magical powers.
*Regeneration- Auz can heal minor flesh wounds in mere seconds, and completely mend broken bones, ruptured organs, and torn muscles in around a minute. He cannot recover new limbs if one gets chopped off.
*Blood Channel- Whenever Auz spills the blood of an opponent, their blood will instantly revert into intangible streamers of magic as it leaves their body, traveling towards Auz at 400 fps. If the blood reaches Auz, the mass of the blood lost by the opponent will turned into needed tissues and fluids where Auz needs it most, determined by the severity of his wounds.
*Hasty Heal- Auz can concentrate his magical power within himself to increase the potency of his regeneration. He needs five seconds to gather the magic required to double his healing rate for one minute, and ten seconds to triple it. Auz cannot pause his magic charging, and when he reaches ten seconds of magical accumulation, must use it or lose it. It's impossible for him to hold onto that much magic at once. Furthermore, he can't charge multiple spells at once, and must know which one he wishes to use before he begins charging. Whenever he's charging up Hasty Heal, faintly visible tendrils of red mana rise from his body.
*Undying- By gathering magic for one to ten seconds, Auz can then activate this power, manifesting as an aura of coiling whisps of luminous yellow steam. Depending on how long he's charged, say for five seconds, he can then use Undying, which for the next five seconds will prevent him from losing any lives if he dies. That is to say, he can charge Undying for ten seconds and then throw himself into battle without worry of expending lives for ten seconds. Yes, if an opponent kills him while Undying is active, Auz will still gain a 25% increase in speed over his last life. It's a real bitch of a power. After using Undying, Auz cannot charge any mana for half the time he had used Undying due to it's residual black magic disrupting his control. Ten seconds of charging, ten seconds of immortality, five seconds without mana control.
*Mana Traction- Eventually when you become fast enough, your steps sink into the ground or propel you into the air. Very inconvenient. With Mana Traction, Auz can move at virtually any speed without losing his footing, magic continually concentrated in his feet allowing him to both stick to the ground when he needs to, and at the same time killing any excess kinetic energy that would damage the ground and disrupt his motion. The power of Mana Traction depends on how fast he currently is. An Olympic sprinter can unleash around 300 joules per stride when moving at 25 miles per hour. Were Auz that fast, it'd take a little more force than that for an enemy to move him when at rest.
Personality- Auz is cutting and sardonic, his dark wit (the man enjoys his one-liners) born from pessimism. He cares not for status or friendship, being a solitary soul in search of nothing but that which gives his life meaning; war. He doesn't like alcohol or other substances, and only enjoys the company of women after a battle. His solemn, irreverent mentality isolates him, but he's not necessarily a "bad guy". He fights for the underdogs when he can, and doesn't partake or suffer the killing of the helpless. That being said, he doesn't care for hostages. Should an opponent try to use another life as a bargaining chip, Auz would just as soon tell his adversary to go ahead and see how much worse of a death they'll get.
Background- Auz was born in the age of Germanic kings, a paladin trained from a young age whose lineage was thrown into obscurity. From the moment he could walk he was trained by royal paladins to become a holy warrior, versed in healing magic. War was his love, bloodshed his life. He killed his first opponent at seventeen. He was knighted at 20. A year later he left to seek his own path.
When he was 22, he encountered a Swiss witch that promised him a form of immortality in exchange for his eternal soul. He agreed, and she bestowed a tattoo of power upon him, that of an ouroboros, the serpent that endlessly eats its own tail. That power became a part of Auz, regardless of whether or not the tattoo remained on his being. It took only a quick look in the mirror for Auz to realize he was no longer a holy warrior. The black magic had given him the eyes of a cat and just as many lives. Fittingly, he from then on declared himself a Curse Paladin. What had gone through Auz's head to make him accept the bargain? Simple. He made up his mind that when he died, as all things inevitably do, he'd lay down the hurt on every single infernal entity that stood between him and the soul he'd sold, laying low demons and devils until he got it back. Not a likely outcome, but who can question the will of a resolute warrior until it's put to the ultimate test?
He spent his adulthood mastering his trade, devoting himself to the way of the sword as he cut down foe after foe. Old Auz was a regular Musashi, and soon other fighters started seeking him out, desiring to make a name for themselves. The only names they got were those carved on their grave markers.
little else can be said of Auz. There were no dramatic affairs, no arch rivals nor emotional conflicts. He traveled, he fought, he did the hokey-pokey, and he absolutely, undeniably, died many, many times.
Theme Music-
Aliases: Marmappa (Translated to 'Dreamfather' in Tamil, first known name given to it by humans), The Sleeper of the Clandestine, Shasheuss-Gux (Seminole), Salmu Pulhu (Sumerian), The Great Father
Species: Primal Nightmare
Lifespan: As long as it can continue drinking blood. It doesn't age when it sleeps for years in-between large meals.
Age: 2,387 (Current Physical Form), otherwise timeless and unrestricted by the concept of age.
Appearance: The Magna Pater takes the form of a monstrosity with slime slicked, mottled brown flesh and no hind legs. Its only limbs are two craggy arms adorned with thickly webbed wings which start at the hands and annex down either flank halfway to the base of a powerful, gorgon-esque tail. The wings each bear thirteen additional clawed phalanges extending from the arms and flanks. It has three long, webbed fingers and a thumb on each hand, with the middle digit bearing a claw eight inches long. The other claws are half that length. The span of its grip is immense, to such an extent that were it to grab a woman about the waist with one hand, its fingers would nearly touch. Its head vaguely resembles the chiropteran caricature of a rubber hand puppet turned inside out, whose distinctly malleable features shift and bulge in cooperation with the unknown physiology operating beneath the flexible cartilage of its skull. The Magna Pater wears a dripping maw packed tightly with gruesome tombstone teeth, concealed beneath flabby lips most frequently pulled back into a sardonic, dog-like grin. Childhood fears, once long forgotten, echo dimly through unseeing, oily eyes. These features are accentuated by long, crinkle cut ears and wrinkled leaf nostrils. It has a sharp, hollow tongue which can extend four feet from its mouth, acting as a siphon to suck in blood. Dermal Lorenzini papulae, similar in appearance to the thousands of little tube-like legs on a starfish, coat its skin and may protrude when needed. When inactive the sensory buds retreat into the body, leaving the flesh spongy and pocked. Has a pair of retractable, double-jointed feelers on its muzzle just below the eyes which can't be seen when fully withdrawn. The feelers are two feet long and are made up of eleven cartilage joints. Hundreds of smaller inch-long antenna resembling twitching cricket legs haphazardly garnish the feelers from top to bottom, spreading when the feelers emerge and smoothing back when they retract. Both feelers taper into a split, forming two soft prongs at the end like the tip of a snake's tongue. Its ears, nostrils, and eyelids can fold and smooth down like vacuum seal flaps to prevent unwanted particles from gaining entry. In particular its eyes have nictitating membranes as an additional safeguard. An arrowhead-shaped fluke constitutes the tip of its tail, and can narrow or widen at will. It is an invertebrate, bearing no spinal column. From snout to tail base the Magna Pater is over eight feet long. The tail is eighteen and one-half feet, and each arm is six foot five to the wrist. It weighs in at a rough total of 387 kilos.
It has no reflection and both the monster's motion and form exhibit a surreal, lurid quality that offends the basic innermost sensibilities of any remotely natural or sane organism. Its overall appearance is so terrible that a single, clear sighting is stressful enough to turn the hair of a common man gray over the course of a single hair growth cycle, and white by the second. The effect itself depends on how well they've mastered their own fears, which refract through its eyes and flow unseen but not unfelt through its physical impression to form a subconscious insight within the victim, that they may know the Magna Pater is the vessel through which the worst of nightmares may be made both true and eternal.
Abilities
~Resistance and Physical Output: It can withstand the hottest or coldest inhabited planetary environments, able to easily outlast and outperform any Earthly life form known to science. Its body temperature adjusts to match its surroundings, with the aid of specialized glycoproteins in both its fluids and body which produce immensely powerful antifreeze molecules. The only organism that approaches (but does not exceed) the Magna Pater's vitality is the tardigrade, a micro-animal able to withstand 6,000 times atmospheric pressure, endure 1,000 times the lethal radiation that a human can, and immediately undergo reactionary chemobiosis to become immune to deadly toxins. The Magna Pater has five pseudohearts behind its circulatory system, the only effective way of killing it being the destruction of the brain, which is buried beneath layer after layer of thickly wadded muscle and cartilage. Like a snake, any limbs separated from the Magna Pater's nerve endings will proceed to react to stimuli and be capable of independent motion for up to two hours. Most often this results in the severed limb maintaining a 'death grip' on something it has captured, or attempting to capture whatever touches it, via a reaction similar to the Palmar Grasp reflex found in babies. If the Magna Pater's head is severed, it can retain consciousness for up to two hours as well due to its self-controlled metabolism and ability to survive without oxygenated blood. Its body is even naturally insulated against electricity, to the point of shrugging off multiple lightning strikes during an electrical storm. Sticking a claw into a wall socket gives it about as much of a buzz as an expired can of Red Bull. It processes pain in a manner entirely different from Earthly creatures so that it doesn't experience physically or mentally distracting negative sensations. It knows when it's been hurt, and the knowledge itself is sufficient to influence its decisions.
It can physically dominate any creature in the animal kingdom, able to casually strangle elephants to death, separate their vertebrae, and twist their heads off, or yank the limbs off polar bears with only slight difficulty. It can run down a cheetah the way a cheetah runs down a gazelle, using the phenomenal might of its tail and arms to propel itself. It can sustain a high rate of strenuous activity for months on end and can fight without limit so long as it has a food source to draw energy from. As for the Magna Pater's physical durability, even without contracting its muscles to harden itself its body is tougher than an industrial tractor tire as per the physiology required to thrive in the deepest parts of the ocean and in space, withstanding a minimum of 1,000 times atmospheric pressure. When its muscles are contracted to full hardness, it can endure 6,000 times atmospheric pressure at the cost of its mobility being reduced to no more than a sixth of its maximum efficiency. It takes roughly three seconds for the Magna Pater to harden itself to this extent, and another three seconds to return to its standard physiology. It can isolate and contract individual muscles to harden specific points.
~Its dermal Lorenzini papulae function as electroreceptors and touch receptors, with twenty times the sensitivity of a human hand. It uses them for electrolocation to find the bioelectric fields of targets immune to sonar and infrared, detect electrical signals in muscles (permitting it to respond near simultaneously to the motions of its prey), follow hydrodynamic or aerodynamic trails, and to circumnavigate the globe. The range for detecting life forms via electrolocation is 1,200 meters, and the range to read their muscles is 600 meters. In regards to following dynamic trails, its range is 2,000 meters.
~Keen hearing and sonar. It's echolocation has a maximum distance of 6,700 meters and can detect objects moving at half the speed of sound. Its hearing is so good it can locate a victim even through miles of dense forest and with its back turned. Anything faster than its echolocation it can sense almost instantly via air pressure gradient.
~Lungs: The Magna Pater has three crude lungs, whose purpose is not respiration but to aid in the generation of sound.
~Life: It can survive in any sort of atmosphere which supports life, or even in the vacuum of space. It gains energy from a form of oxygen independent phagocytosis, digesting biological matter to power its body instead of breathing.
~Stealth: Its mucous gums up and muffles any minor sounds it may make when sneaking, and the Magna Pater is utterly immune to any magical or supernatural detection that doesn't naturally or scientifically originate within the five known senses. That is to say, it cannot be located via any kind of sixth sense. One may still detect it supernaturally, so long as said form of detection is directly based from sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch. Sensory fields relying on electricity, magnetism, chi, telepathy, and the like are all wholly ineffective, even if the field is translated into one of the five senses by proxy. Sonar can detect the Magna Pater, because it directly relates to hearing. Seeing through the mind's eye, however, does not count as a direct correlation to sight. Rather than resulting in a blank spot in the midst of such a field, it would simply be as if the Magna Pater was never there.
~Heat pits: Can detect all forms of heat and energy, similar to infrared in snakes. This includes light itself. The heat pits are located on the inner linings of its mouth, nose, and ears.
~Fluke: The broadhead fluke at the end of the Magna Pater's tail measures six inches in length and four in width. It can narrow down to a stabbing point or flatten out almost to the sharpness of a blade. Just like the rest of the Magna Pater's body the fluke can soften or harden, and when hardened it can resist pressures upwards of 6,000 psi. At full swing it can gouge sizable chunks out of an oak tree and skewer a grown man like a fish on a pike.
~Tongue: Can draw in blood through a wound like an industrial vacuum cleaner, enabling it to drain a human body as quickly and thoroughly as a dehydrated fat kid with a juice box at lunchtime. The tongue itself is a powerful muscle that can choke victims to death, tipped with a hypodermic-like tip made of the same chitin as its claws. It can also squirt, inject, or spray pressurized blood and saliva, or launch its tongue out like a harpoon (in the manner of a chameleon) at speeds rivaling Major League baseball pitches.
~Natural weapons: Its teeth and claws are composed of a complex chitin and protein polymer, harder and sharper than a Humboldt squid's beak, which can pierce modern body armor. The Magna Pater wields a bite force of more than 15,000 psi, twice that of the strongest recorded bite measured from a Nile crocodile. Its broad, spade-shaped molars and canines are perfect for shearing through bone and muscle. Its tail has around 200,000 muscles, flexible enough to delicately pick up small pebbles, strong enough to grind masonry stone to powder, and fast enough to accelerate to whip-like striking speeds, enough to break the sound barrier at the tip.
~Can freely bend its entire body like rubber or stiffen to become hard. It lacks bones, instead maintaining its shape through different varieties of tensile muscle and cartilage. It's entirely multi-jointed and able to twist any part of its body 270 degrees in circumference. It can stretch itself within reason, potentially gaining several extra inches of reach in a pinch, as well as squeeze into any opening that it can fit its head through.
~Capable of entering a state of metabolic stasis which can last for decades. It retains spatial awareness during this "hibernation" and can awaken at will.
~Sense of smell: It can track down others thousands of kilometers away just by smelling them on the clothing of its prey.
~The Pull: The Magna Pater and the places it most often visits bear a quality that faintly arouses a victim's morbid curiosity when nearby. This doesn't work if one is aware of the monster's presence. As an example, were the Magna Pater to be waiting outside of a locked window, the victim may feel vaguely compelled to go to said window and look out, but not unlock the window after sighting the horror beyond it. The monster can decide whether or not a victim feels the "Pull". It has scarcely any effect on those with a strong will and a firm grasp of what is real, since the Pull is predominantly meant to snare children.
~Intelligence: Is highly sentient. It has more than two millennia of experience in its current form as a highly prolific interdimensional serial killer, can grasp (but not speak) all languages, and never makes the same mistake twice.
~Can quickly regenerate from wounds by consuming blood and flesh. The amount of mass healed is proportionate to how much is consumed, I.E one pound of food to replace one pound of damaged tissue. It can selectively heal different parts of its body, and any excess food it eats is stored for later regeneration. It can hold up to 110 kilos of food in its stomach.
~Wings: The membrane of its wings is far tougher than Kevlar and can completely stop bullets from a .950 JDJ hunting rifle. The maximum wingspan of each arm, when stretched, is comparable in surface area to a queen size blanket, and the membrane itself is twice as thick as a padded backstop mat. The membrane is composed of specialized nerve and muscle fibers which can expand, contract and move freely with incredible strength, more than enough to hold and even break the bones of virtually any mortal creature it catches. As could be assumed from the crushingly powerful phalanges ridging the wings, they aren't at all meant for flight but to allow the monster to both guard against particularly dangerous attacks and to catch and smother prey. It can secrete vast amounts of mucous from the membrane just as it can from every other part of its epidermis.
~Dream Feelers: The Magna Pater's feelers function to receive dreams rather than such things as scents or sounds. When the feelers are fully extended, the Magna Pater can view the dreams of every creature on the planet. It can influence dreams, but the influence decreases the further one is from the Magna Pater. When within a thousand miles it can only very slighter alter a dream, almost imperceptibly. At three-hundred miles it can turn a good dream into an uncomfortable one, or make an uncomfortable dream into a nightmare. When the target is within a hundred miles, the Magna Pater can easily cause nightmares, and even night terrors, but can't entirely influence the contents of the nightmares or dictate exactly how they proceed. It can also wipe the memory of said dreams before the victim wakes up, and tell with perfect precision when the victim will awaken. Over the course of several months and with continuous pestering, it can impress early onset Alzheimer's and dementia onto a victim at this range. When the Magna Pater is thirty miles or closer, it can manipulate dreams entirely and force the victim to witness any scenario it desires. Unless the target has immensely potent and self sustaining mental defenses set up to stop planetary-level psychics (psychics who can, in the least, influence events from across the distance of a large diameter planet), the nightmares may unequivocally result in the victim reverting into either a permanent vegetative state or violent lunacy, immediately losing their mind from fright as the Magna Pater fully claims them as a part of its transcendental nightmare. It can also inflict them with overnight Alzheimer's and dementia, entirely deteriorating their mental faculties over the course of a single dream. The Magna Pater's range may be limited to a thousand miles, but the concentration is in excess of planetary psychics. Furthermore, when the Magna Pater is in a state of stasis its reach is doubled.
~Sound: The Magna Pater can emit infrasonic and ultrasonic frequencies with incredible potency thanks to its specialized lungs and vocal organs. When just below the range of human hearing or at the limit of its vocal range, fifteen kilometers, it can make a typical male human feel uneasy, off-balance, and slightly nauseous. Within eighty yards it can match the frequency of a victim's eyeballs to create temporary blindness or gray spots, damage eardrums, induce vomiting, cause difficulty breathing and heavy drowsiness (can force an average man into unconsciousness after just few minutes), and severely affect balance to the point of the victim having great difficulty staying on their feet. At ten yards the effects can rupture eyeballs and eardrums, or even cause lethal cerebral hemorrhaging when used on the average male human.
~Stomach: As evidenced by its ability to immediately digest whatever it eats, the Magna Pater's stomach utilizes a lethal super acid that can dissolve any organic matter in mere seconds. Though typically this acid remains in the stomach, as the Magna Pater cannot mass produce its acid as easily as its saliva or mucous, it still weaponizes this asset. It can turn its stomach inside out to engulf difficult prey and digest them externally, a feat most consistently displayed by certain species of sea snails and starfish.
~Sex: The Magna Pater is able to mate with any organism larger than thirty kilos, regardless of gender or lack thereof. Its young are hundreds of malformed, inch-long worm creatures that die hours after squirming out of the victim's body through the skin. This ability has no biological prerogative, only instituted for the sake of cruelty.
~Mucous: The Magna Pater's most versatile and powerful asset. Its body mucous and saliva contain anticoagulant, cytotoxic, and bufotoxic properties. Those whom it bites or claws will suffer gradual necrosis, unstoppable bleeding, and fast-acting, nightmarish hallucinations. Supernatural forms of healing are drastically hindered where the Magna Pater's juices are concerned, the anticoagulant preventing even magic from clotting or regenerating blood cells, although the monster is immune to its own toxins. The speed at which the bufotoxins take effect depends on how close the wound is to the head. As an example, were it to jab one of its claws into a large man, it would take roughly several minutes for the poison to take effect from a foot wound, and several seconds if the wound was near the head. Were the Magna Pater to inject a victim with its tongue (which can mass produce large amounts of saliva), even a blue whale would succumb in less than a minute if it were pierced in the center mass. The toxin has a median dose of (LD50) of 1.3–2.1 ng/kg, making it a top contender for the most potent toxin in the world. The viscosity of the mucous can be regulated, allowing the Magna Pater to be extremely slippery or adhesive. The mucous at its stickiest can bind even the strongest of victims, partially deaden the momentum of heavy impacts, and tear off the skin and muscle of any victims that are unfortunate enough to come into contact with it. The mucous is flame-retardant, boasting a stupidly high melting point and repelling most structural changes instituted by outside forces. So long as it has the mucous to do so, it can endure military flamethrowers, oil fires, and even a napalm bombing. The mucous is scentless and masks odors, provides an extraordinarily high resistance to electricity due to its non-conductivity and insulating properties, and bears an extremely low freezing point to act as extra insulation against low temperatures. When at its stickiest, it bonds on a molecular level to whatever it touches. The Magna Pater's body is the sole exception, the only matter that the slime doesn't fuse molecules with. Instead the slime clings to the monster like an exceptionally potent form of superglue, and is released from the Magna Pater's body when more layers of mucous are secreted beneath to uproot the first layer, in a word, "sloughing" off the slime.
It can convert and secrete up to twenty percent of its body weight in mucous at a rate of 16 liters per second, provided the entire body is producing the mucous. It becomes significantly faster when empty and can regain the weight by eating.
~Malocchio:
It may use this power by shutting down its other senses. Before it uses the Malocchio, the intended victim(s) will have a brief premonition of the danger to come, a split second to avert their eyes. Those who see the Malocchio will see also a fragmentation of its true essence, and a connection will be made. It's a thoroughly foul experience with no proper comparison, though it could be (vaguely) referenced as psychic rape. Afterwards, each time the victim goes to sleep, they will enter a trance and begin moving in the direction of the Magna Pater, wherever it may be. They will awaken at the time they normally would, such as a few minutes for a nap and several hours for deep sleep. It also allows the Magna Pater to see with the eyes of its prey whenever it uses the Malocchio, even at the same time if there are multiple victims. By using the Malocchio on one who is already cursed, the victim's sight will be replaced with that of the Magna Pater's until it deactivates its eyes. As it shares the sight of any victims cursed by the Malocchio, this enables it to mix and match the eyes of any marked opponents or claim new victims of the Malocchio by proxy, requiring them to merely look into the eyes of a victim whilst the Malocchio is active. Furthermore, a victim of the Malocchio is highly subject to the Magna Pater's dream feelers. A thousand miles with the Malocchio is the same as three-hundred without, and so on. The only way to break the Malocchio is to kill the Magna Pater's physical body.
The Malocchio is a passive curse that has no immediate negative effects unless the victim is entirely under the influence of the Magna Pater's hallucinogens, in which case the victim enters a 'waking dream' and may be immediately taken into the monster's nightmare, whereupon their mind is forfeit. If the bufotoxins haven't taken full effect then the victim will be considered only partially dreaming. The Magna Pater can influence these hallucinations with its dream feelers, but its degree of control depends on the progression of the toxins.
Looking into its eyes for too long can result in the victim's body becoming riddled with cancer at a later period in time, I.E developing prostate and skin cancer two years after the encounter. It takes roughly seven seconds of eye-to-eye contact (does not have to be constant) before the dormant cancer cells begin taking root. The Magna Pater can only keep the Malocchio active for at most sixteen seconds, and cannot use it again until the same amount of time has passed. As an example, if it only uses it for ten seconds and then deactivates, then it must rest its eyes for ten seconds. The Magna Pater is able to travel to any realm or dimension that withholds a victim of the Malocchio as well, by way of entering through their subconscious and manifesting nearby. It cannot use this to reach a victim it already shares a realm with.
Those that are consumed by the Magna Pater whilst cursed by the Malocchio are reduced to their "essential salts", or "sleep sand" within its body, the physical manifestation of their very being reduced to salt-sized particles. The amount of sand attained from a single victim is always a little less than a single ounce, regardless of body size. Their consciousness is bound to these grains, and at the monster's whim it can excrete its victims dry through its hypodermic tongue and leave them to be forever lost in the earth as inert particles buried beneath the crushing weight of the ages, their last tormented memories and nightmares intermingling with the otherwordly virulence of the Dreamfather to form an intimate and inescapable hell. It may also deposit or blow the sand into the eyes of a victim to induce slumber, or if the victim lacks said orifices, the Magna Pater may simply inject them with the sand. Either method will always result in the victim losing consciousness after thirteen seconds, their motor functions and cognitive abilities degrading with every passing moment. The Magna Pater can only hold the sand of a single victim at a time. It always keeps the sand of its last victim in reserve.
Behavior/Personality: The Magna Pater is what a child thinks of when the word 'monster' occurs to them for the first time in their life during dead of night, the shadow of a warning cast by nature itself in synchronicity with the presence of a lifeform within its atmosphere that should never have existed. It makes no noise, has no mercy, cannot be reasoned with, and lives only to drain the blood and devour the flesh of all living things it can bind within its greasy wings. Despite its incalculable intelligence, it never makes any attempts to genuinely communicate with victims. It has no desire for social interaction or personal expression, being a life form beyond both concepts.
It enjoys all manner of prey and is especially inclined to go out of its way to find toddlers and infants, but it is shy and despises the light. It prefers to remain in damp pitch-blackness, where no eyes can spy it and no light can fall upon it. Areas that it has frequented for many years are imbued with a multitude of bad vibes, as could be felt in a grievously haunted house. Its lairs are moreso thickened with an underlying feeling of unreality, as if partly submerged in an eerie, malleable fantasy.
("The dark side of life, and the horror of it, belonged to a world that lay remote from his own select little atmosphere of books and dreamings.")
It frequently impregnates victims, keeping them alive until its malformed young are birthed. It often eats both the victim and the young, doing these things not for food but to inflict prolonged torment. The few who come into contact with it and live may never be the same as before, for above all else it is a creature of persistence, a malady made mobile. Even if one leaves the Magna Pater, it'll never leave them. A variety of lifelong physical complications and psychological ailments can stem from a meeting with it and it never stops pursuing its prey, regardless of where they may travel. It will also track down any living thing that leaves its scent on a victim. This leads to the Magna Pater consuming the families of those it hunts, along with anyone those families had come into recent physical contact with. Though one may travel often and abroad, once the Magna Pater has chosen a victim their fate is inevitable. It could take days, weeks, months, even years, but eventually on some cold and moonless evening one will awaken to see a sticky face with dead eyes peering through their bedroom window.
(Drawing found in the desk of ten year old Vidya Singh, who went missing in Kanpur, India, two months after claiming to have seen a demon in his backyard.)
History:
The Magna Pater is a reincarnating, primal demon who is the physical manifestation of an ethereal creature originating in and as a part of an eternal non-Euclidean nightmare bridging the boundaries of possibility, reality, and unreality. It takes the true form of a sentient nexus made from the bad dreams of gods once dreaded, but now long forgotten, gods that have never been affiliated with a human realm. Imagination that outlived its creators, took root in itself, and began infiltrating other universes on a quantum scale. Its influence was subtle, but strong. The eleven dimensions theorized by science couldn't have plunged the depths of the nightmares it inflicted, but there was a catch.
The only factor limiting the creature's power was the strength of each universe's reality, and the potency of its dreamers. It had to follow the rules of a universe to gain access, and only then could begin slowly oozing between the lines with power gained from fear and pain, dissolving the barriers keeping it from flooding in completely. It did so by initially taking on a physical form acceptable by the dimensional and natural laws present, albiet one perfectly made to submit other lifeforms to its will as efficiently and horrifically as possible. Through this physical presence it may gradually weaken the webbing keeping it out, its physical avatar altering reality bit by bit until the continuum breaks and it makes that reality its own, laying claim to every resident in mind, body, and soul.
The universe it found Earth in was different, stronger than any it had ever encountered. Humans, it soon learned, were special. Three dimensional animals on the cusp of the fifth dimension of possibility, governed by the fourth dimension of time, with such potential to learn yet still gain nothing. Humans became like catnip to it, with their incredible self awareness and imagination. It concentrated most of its being into probing Earth, releasing its stranglehold on centillions of other realities in order to better feel and enjoy this prize. As it turned out, the monster was petty, and its ambitions shallow. It grew to treasure the Earth, if only for the cruel pleasure it felt in bringing grief to living things. Each human mind was its own microcosm of insecurities and negativity so satisfying, so complete, that the monster grew complacent, became a hedonist of sadism, and no longer sought to take even one more universe, not when it had found the perfect organisms to torture, one at a time.
So, it became aquainted with mankind. The oldest literal translation of the creature's name, and the name of the nightmare (for it resides within itself) is that of the "Dreamfather". The ancients avoided mention of its mortal titles in fear of drawing its attention from afar, instead referring to it as "The Sleeper of the Clandestine". In Sumeria it was worshipped as an obscure and obscene deity to which countless sacrifices were made. Before the Seminole Wars it was dreaded by the Creek Indians, who gave it many names and forms, as it was too wicked a thing to exist under any one description. Miracles died slowly and magic became fantasy, for even the most vile of supernatural beings balked at remaining on Earth with the Dreamfather made flesh. Many tried to slay it over the centuries, and now and then its terrestrial form did die, but it was beyond the concept of finite.
In mortal death it can live again when one-hundred years of incubation within its true form has passed, though it can't retain the memories of its previous life, for in our universe birth means new life is created, not old life preserved. Only can the Magna Pater be permanently stopped if its pneuma, its true state of being, is destroyed or sealed away. Though it's nigh impossible to destroy the full entity, which in and of itself exists in abstract form, the Magna Pater can be ultimately contained and potentially trapped forever by capturing its pneuma, which leaves its eyes when it dies, in a stone of turquoise weighing at least five pounds. Turquoise was regarded by Aztecs and Native Americans alike to be the holiest of stones, and infinitely more potent than a woven dreamcatcher at stifling nightmares. Such is the truth. When filled with the pneuma of an entity like the Magna Pater, turquoise becomes everlasting, immune to degeneration from time. The monster may still be set free if a being of sufficient power breaks the stone, though such a being would require spiritual energy greater than what is currently held by the entire human race combined.
It typically lingers deep in the Everglades, bedding itself in the state nicknamed 'God's Waiting Room' because of Florida's high population, their American disillusionment to genuine distress (third world countries aren't as enjoyable, since their denizens are already well familiar with horror), and the heavily suppressed anxieties of the old and dying, and the half considered worries of those around them. In Florida it had found a place to drop anchor, only, anchors tend to move from time to time. It's a concept rarely reckoned with except in bedside yarns spun by superstitious housewives of the old country. A mother who fears that should her twins venture out past the tree line where the porch light ends to play hide and seek, one of them might go missing while the other one, too late, realizes that it's no longer a sibling they're hiding from. Yes, mothers fear for their children. Out in the sticks, boys explore. It's what they do. They adventure, following wherever a fancy may lead. Out into vacant lots, under railways and through the boonies. Sometimes boys find small caves and cracks large enough to crawl through. These are hidey holes, but few boys hide in them. Always, the reason is because the possibility exists that the hidey hole is occupied. Cougars? Snakes? Yes, very often that's the case. Mother says to watch out for animal dens.
Sometimes, though, just sometimes...
There might be a hidey hole that wasn't there before, or isn't there anymore. One that travels. An opening to another place, a lonely place with a voice all its own. A crevasse five feet long and three feet wide. A soft wind churns out of the icy nether, a subterranean current that tousles the hair. It smells of mildew. Even a brave boy can hesitate, but the call of the secret is strong. It knows you by name, it beckons with fantastic mysteries. A lure, but not of the kind men set to catch fish. This lure pulls you down, not up. The blue sky transitions into a black void. It is too tight a fit to turn around. You can only back out, and all the while choose to either stare ahead or shut your eyes. To continue is to encounter a winding network, a sweating labyrinth of dolomite tunnels whose dimensions are identical to playhouse tubes. Some stretch for a hundred miles or more. Each one leads to the same place, and never back the way you came. The longer you remain in the tunnels, the more drunk you become. Your bearings fade, until there is naught but a dream of disorientation. The deeper you crawl, the more an oozing sweetness like that of a putrefying wound tints the air. Echoes so distant and dim that they could have been mistaken for tricks of the imagination trickle along the damp walls. Sooner or later, all will reach the end.
For some it takes days, others minutes. Always they wind up in the lair. One-hundred and fifty feet high and three miles in diameter. Hulking stalactites and stalagmites bear witness to the supreme age of the chamber, a lichen hellscape of death and graverot. For all the lair's imposing size, every inch of the floor is concealed deep beneath a disorganized carpet of skeletons, wet with moss. Every other surface seems powdered with a strange talcum dust, whose scent is not a physical thing, but scarce, indecipherable emotions. In the middle, looming in the distance, is a hillock whose pinnacle nearly reaches the ceiling. At this point the muddled dream ends, and what feels to be a sick hallucination born from a lucid fever begins. The Sleeper of the Clandestine slumbers upon a towering butte of soggy bones, the bones of children, reigning over its decaying empire on a haphazard throne several thousand lives thick. It's too dark to see anything. You cannot see when the dread form, glazed over with black corpse moss, starts moving for the first time that year. Like ancient clockwork gears, like a reptile out of the cold, it needs to wind up, warm up, shrug off the drowsiness of hibernation. It always moves slowly at first, even clumsily. Bones can be heard rolling down the hill as the Sleeper stretches. Now and then it speaks, or seems to speak.
"Journeys end in lovers meeting."
-Shakespeare, Twelfth Night-
-Shirley Jackson, The Haunting of Hill House-
Theme Music:
Name: Kentucky Tom Age: 29 Height: 5'11" Weight: 180 pounds Race: Human Class: Jerkwad Alignment: Chaotic Eye Color: Unknown
Weapons and Equipment: Ray-Ban sunglasses, unfiltered Wildhorse cigarettes, white suit with black tie, a black 16 ounce/24-inch aluminum softball bat.
Physical Abilities/Skills: Physically and mentally, Kentucky Tom is remarkably average. He's no more fit than a man of his age normally is. He is, however, one seriously hardass dickweed who used to be a fast talkin' auctioneer. He has only one special ability, but it is virtually impossible to kill or incapacitate with it. His power is known as "Really Buggersome Affectations". He can inflict nasty effects upon enemies by speaking the magic words of a curse and then pointing and firing a softball sized orb of arcane energy. The speed of the shot depends of the nastiness of the curse. Such curses as "Horndoggums Humprumpus" travel at the speed of ML fastballs, whilst curses like "Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum" move as fast as bullets. Those in the middle are as fats as arrows. He can slow down spells as much as he wants and return them to full speed at will after firing them, as much as he likes. He can combine multiple curses into a single attack, the arcane orb increasing approximately in size with each spell added. He can speak at 360 words per minute, about as many as a top form auctioneer or high school debater. He cannot use the same curse twice in a row, a handicap offset by how the spells cannot be stopped, redirected, or impeded by any material or energy-based defense. Tom has no need for a wand, but he can use his softball bat as one. He can club a spell with his bat as if it were a baseball to increase its speed by up to 110 MPH (full strength swing). The spells retain perfect magical accuracy towards whatever Tom aims at, though they can't change trajectory once launched. The only way to break these curses is to kill him. The known curses he uses are...
*"Impreggio Bitchpleasum"- Impregnates whomever he is pointing at, forcing a baby to be conceived within them. This works on men and inanimate objects. Each subsequent hit halves the pregnancy time, starting at one week pregnant. The baby is ready by week forty. (Mid-Speed)
*"Slipsoapia Faceplantium"- Spawns a 5X5' marble tile covered in lube beneath the target's feet. (Slow-Speed)
*"Charactero Dangledoodius"- Spawns a random cartoon character originating from the 60's-90's above the target's head. Said character proceeds to endlessly suffer from a lack of clothing and dysentery. (Mid-Speed)
*"WeeMan Shinkickums"- Spawns Jackass star Jason Acuña, known also as 'Wee Man'. He will continually attack the target. (Slow-Speed)
*"Sucknutus Switcheroonio"- The target's spatial positioning is reversed, instantly turning them 180 degrees on a horizontal and/or vertical axis depending on Tom's preference. (Slow-Speed)
*"Pissedprick Swingdingus"- The target's dick will double in size every time the spell lands and become aggressive towards its owner, seeking to clobber the one it is attached to. (Mid-Speed)
*"Gooberschnozz Leaksnoutius"- The target's nose will grow to five times normal size and continuously leak copious amounts of magically created mucous. (Mid-Speed)
*"Estatecrashio Housingmarketum"- The Target's local housing market crashes, depreciating their home significantly. Spawns a repo man five yards away to deliver the news and then leave. (Fast-Speed)
*"Baldickus Bodilicious"- Instantly removes all the hair on your body. (Fast-Speed)
*"Fidgetnips Spindiculum"- Turns the target's nipples into fidget spinners. (Fast-Speed)
*"Gayroticus Weinerfestum"- Turns the victim gay. (Slow-Speed)
*"Fartilliarum Skidmarkius"- Gives the victim messy farts. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pinkwimpor Buttflamingonum"- Turns the victim's skin pink. (Fast-Speed)
*"Retardingus Shitheadellus"- Lowers the victim's I.Q by one point. (Mid-Speed)
*"Racistimo Hatefation"- Makes the victim extremely racist against minorities. (Fast-Speed)
*"Drunkskunkio Beerbellius"- Makes the victim as drunk as they'd be after having ingested two pints of beer. Each subsequent hit increases their inebriation by another two beers. (Mid-Speed)
*"Dirtlingus Shoutloudius"- Forces the victim to yell out their deepest, dirtiest secret and then proceed to do so again every two minutes. Each time Tom hits a victim with this curse, it halves the time that they can go without shouting. (Fast-Speed)
*"Whiteytightus Fucknuttums"- Makes the victim's underwear ultra-tight and uncomfortable. Each hit by the curse makes the ol' drawers get tighter and tighter until the waistband snaps. (Fast-Speed)
*"Beardantili Hipsterium"- Gives the victim a huge beard. Each hit increases the beard length by 18 inches. (Fast-Speed)
*"Nudesweeta Bareassum"- Evaporates the target's clothing into an embarrasing gooey honey mist. (Mid-Speed)
*"Furrynekus Fucknuttus"- Materializes a random fursuit onto the victim. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pisswiggums Bladdersmallis"- Makes the victim have to pee really bad. (Mid-Speed)
*"Horndoggums Humprumpus"- Makes the victim insanely attracted to the next thing Kentucky Tom points at. It takes tremenous will to resist, and becomes a major distraction until the urge is "satisfied". (Slow-Speed)
*"Nipgantius Bigtittumus"- The victim's boob area will grow to five times normal size. (Slow-Speed)
*"Fatassium Bastardus"- Makes the victim obese. (Slow-Speed)
*"Lolhardickus"- Forces the victim into an awkward situation the likes of which occur most often to us in the morning. If used on a female, it will materialize the required assets upon her being. (Fast-Speed)
*"Pussysobbium Crybabius"- Makes the victim cry uncontrollably. (Mid-Speed)
*"Racechangium Laughardiculum"- Changes the victim's race. By changing the first word to "Sexchangium" Tom can alter gender instead. (Slow-Speed)
*"Narratium Expositorium"- Forces the victim to narrate their actions as they do them in a deep, dramatic voice. They cannot complete their attack until the end of the narration. (Slow-Speed)
*"Smurftardicus Squeakerotica"- Gives the victim a high pitched helium voice, a Smurf hat, and Roblox T-shirt. (Fast-Speed)
*"Butthorkus Limporkus"- The victim becomes a transgender drag queen complete with unwieldy high heels and wig. (Slow-Speed)
*"Hamhockio Pigittums"- Gives the victim the ears, tail, and snout of a pig. (Mid-Speed)
*"Blindorial Nerdwerdus"- Makes the victim near and short sighted, and materializes a pair of prescription glasses onto their face. (Mid-Speed)
*"Pizzamugums Pubertum"- Gives the victim a load of acne. (Fast-Speed)
*"Glasswhackius Buttmunchickus"- Makes the victim instantly punch the nearest person with glasses in the face nice and hard, even if it's their self. (Mid-Speed)
*"Dildus Rubberium"- Turns an enemy's weapon into a twelve inch black dildo. (Slow-Speed)
*"Beachbaggo Burnsacko"- Instantly gives the victim a full body sunburn, the kind that hurts like a bitch if you so much as get in the shower. (Slow-Speed)
*"Foolookius Overthereius"- Makes the victim look where Tom is pointing. (Slow-Speed)
*"Itchums MacGuiness"- Gives the victim several dozen full body mosquito bites. Very itchy. (Slow-Speed)
Background: Kentucky Tom grew up in the rough part of town and was constantly harangued by bullies. Why? He had a smart mouth. Shooting off insults came naturally to Tom. He pissed off teachers, parents, drivers, senators, dogs, you name it. He got into a wide variety of scuffles, made a name for himself as both a sharp talker and a rugged back alley brawler. He never had much cash, since his job as an auctioneer didn't pay all that well. But then one day, everything changed. He met an old fakir who beseeched Tom to sell an old Porsche for enough money to bail his deviant grandson out of jail. Tom felt pity for the mystic and at the next auction, sold the vehicle for twice what it was really worth. Out of gratitude the fakir bestowed upon Kentucky Tom the power to incur hilarious status effects upon the unwary.
Tom has since set out to seek his fortune, and nothing will stand between him and a quick buck.
Call me Doc. I prefer RM, UM, or LP fights, with human or peak human hand-to-hand or swords & sandals being my speciality.
Challenge me to a match any old time!
Arena Characters: [url]http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/87852-docs-characters-no-posting/ooc#post-3105991[/url]
[hider=The Condensed Story of My Roleplay Career]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/xyxoXqR.png[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/CAzb64T.png[/img]
[img]https://i.imgur.com/JuZqSnB.png[/img]
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<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;">Call me Doc. I prefer RM, UM, or LP fights, with human or peak human hand-to-hand or swords & sandals being my speciality.<br>Challenge me to a match any old time!<br><br>Arena Characters: <a href="http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/87852-docs-characters-no-posting/ooc#post-3105991">http://www.roleplayerguild.com/topics/87852-docs-characters-no-posting/ooc#post-3105991</a><br><br><div class="hider-panel"><div class="hider-heading"><button type="button" class="btn btn-default btn-xs hider-button" data-name="The Condensed Story of My Roleplay Career">The Condensed Story of My Roleplay Career [+]</button></div><div class="hider-body" style="display: none"><img src="https://i.imgur.com/xyxoXqR.png" /><br><img src="https://i.imgur.com/CAzb64T.png" /><br><img src="https://i.imgur.com/JuZqSnB.png" /></div></div></div>
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SkyeOfStars
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