Emma — Roleplayer Guild

Olivia went to bed around eleven last night, after talking to James for hours. She had been exhausted by the days events, long bike ride, and the 6 mile walk home, so as soon as she climbed into bed she passed out. She woke up around seven and just laid there, hoping to just fall back asleep for ten more minutes, but Sophia's alarm clock blaring down the hall was preventing that wish. Kylie thankfully did something about it, and Olivia sighed in relief, as she pulled the blankets over her head, and snuggled further into bed. She really did not want to get up, and get ready for school.

Her phone beeped annoyingly as it signaled a new text. She frowned and then rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. Rolling over to check her phone, it was James asking for omelet orders. Slowly sitting up she stretched her arms into the air, her fingertips touched the ceiling. Olivia yawned as she texted James back. 'Small omelet with peppers, and tomatoes. Please and thank you.' If only it could be Saturday and she could sleep till noon. Since her hiatus from ballet a month ago, she had gotten much lazier, and spent her new endless amount of free time helping at the restaurant, taking naps, and hanging out by herself around the house. Her three hour ballet class, three times a week after school, plus six hours recital practice on Saturday had kept her rather busy. 

Getting out of bed required a lot of effort on Olivia part. She had only gotten about six hours of sleep, which meant she was most likely going to fake sick at school, so she could sleep in the nurses office. She yawned wide again, and then climbed down from her bed. Remembering when her parents bought her and her sister the bunk bed seven years ago. She had been seven, and thought that being on the top bunk was the coolest thing ever. Oh how she regretted that decision now, getting in and out of the thing when you were tired was no fun, and crawling down the ladder in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom was annoying. 

Walking out of her bedroom, she rubbed her eyes as she passed the second floor bathroom door. She could here the shower running so she instead went downstairs to the other bathroom, since she didn't feel like waiting patiently today. She took off her clothes and tossed them into the laundry basket. Turning on the shower to the lukewarm setting. She glanced at her body in the mirror. Over the last month, she had lost about six pounds, and it showed. She was even more bony then she originally was. She had been practicing ballet religiously since she was five so her body had always appeared skinny, long, and fit. Her dance instructor Madame Clifford had told her that she had an ideal body for ballet, a ballerina body she would say. In Ollie's own opinion all she saw in the mirror was an awkward girl, with knobby knees, no boobs, pointy elbows, and big sad brown eyes.  

She stepped into the shower, and just let the water cascade over her skin. Thinking about nothing, she relaxed under the waterfall, and hummed 'Only Time' by Enya. It had been one of her moms favorite songs, and before the crash Olivia had even choreograph a dance to the song. She had meant to perform it as a surprise for her mom at the ballet recital in April. The lukewarm shower was doing nothing to wake her up, so she made the water colder. She squeezed a large amount of shampoo into her hands, and washed her hair. Using the fancy handmade bath soaps, Olivia washed away the sweat, dirt, and grime of the previous day. Long showers where one joy in life, so 30 minutes later she stepped out of the shower clean and smelling like flowers. 

She wrapped herself in a big white towel and walked back upstairs to her room to get dressed. She changed into her outfit for the day. Slipping on her terracotta red skirt, a stripped shirt, and an over-sized green sweater. She flipped her hair over and wrapped it in the towel. She felt more awake now. She opened the dresser to get a pair of socks, and then opened her little music box to pocket two pills for later. She found the reply note from Sophia poking out from behind the door. Picking it up she unfolded the letter and read the short sweet note from her sister. Ollie smiled and placed the letter in her school journal. 

She walked down stairs and snuck up to hug James as he flipped omelets at the stove. After getting out the plates for James, Ollie went over to the table. She smiled hesitantly at Kylie trying to gage her mood. "Morning..." Olivia said to them.

Collab With @Saint Girralo

8:35 PM

James had just gotten their neighbor, Maddie Noll, home and decided not to bother waiting for his jacket. It wasn't overly cold to him, and he lived just across the street from Maddie. He quickly walked across the street and unlocked the front door of the house and pulled it open. As he entered the house the smell of a delicious meal entered his nose, and made him regret eating earlier. He walked through the kitchen almost completely ignoring the people in there, simply saying,  “Hi. Already ate, cya.”  he opened the basement door and quickly proceeded to his room, closing the door behind him. Somehow he wasn't as burnt out as he was expecting to be after a day as long as his, though he hadn't had work so that was probably his saving grace for the day. He logged into his computer and went to one of his favorite websites, Fanfiction.net, and checked to see if any of the followed stories had been updated, but nope nada. He pulled the book he has been reading off of the nightstand, the DaVinci Code, a favorite of his. That is when he noticed the letter Olivia had placed on his bed. As he reads the sweet and heartfelt letter from Olivia he notices from the corner of his eye that his closet was open a crack. Given he is usually diligent about locking it, he is surprised, but he still finishes reading the letter. Upon finishing it, he walks over to the closet, and finds that one of the drawers was open slightly, and upon closer examination his green cable knit sweater, the one he has caught Olivia wearing a few times in the past, wasn't quite folded how he does it. Fear and anxiety and anger flood into his mind, as he struggled to remain rational. Walking as calmly as possible up the stairs, James opened the door to the basement and asked, anxiety clearly present on the edge of his voice,  “Ollie, can I talk to you for a moment.”  With that he went back downstairs into his room.
~

Olivia just kept setting the table with her head down as if she didn’t hear Sophia being unbelievably rude to Claire.She was trying her best to stay out of that madness. She had no idea why her sisters disliked Claire so much. Sure the way she made herself at home was kind of weird, but Olivia had assumed that Riley gave her the go ahead or something. From what she knew, Claire hadn't done anything wrong, and had only been nice, if not overly nice. 

Placing the last fork onto the table, dinner was officially ready to eat. Sophia headed out the door with her date, who Olivia only caught a quick glimpse of before Sophia rushed him away. And then Claire went to get the others for dinner. Zoey plopped down at her usual spot at the table, as Olivia went to the sink to fill a pitcher with ice water, and lemon slices. Placing it on the table she, then took a seat. 

Kylie came in, and Olivia did not miss the angry glare in her direction, and she totally understood what Kylie was trying to get at by sitting at the other end of the table as far from Olivia as possible. Apparently the letter had no effect on Kylie at all. Everyone had been home long enough, that she just assumed everyone had read their letter. 

Riley came in, and sat next to her at the table. The kiss on the cheek and the affirmation that he still loved her was refreshing compared to Kylie’s pissy face. She passed the bowl of corn to Riley, after placing a bit on her own plate, and that's when she noticed his cut up hands. “What the heck happened to your hands Rye?” Olivia said looking concerned. It looked like he had been punching a brick wall. 

She took the smallest portion of lasagna she could get away with, and then waited for everyone else to finish putting food on their plate. As everyone began eating, Riley and Claire just kept on making googly eyes at each other. Olivia cut her food in ittie bittie pieces, to look more occupied. She took a bite of corn, drank a whole glass of ice water, and then started pushing around the food on her plate to make it look like she had eaten most of it. 

James came in looking anxious for some unknown reason, and when he asked to talk to Olivia, she became nervous. She wondered what this was about. Excusing herself from the table she made her way to James’s room. As she walked down the stairs to the basement, dread took over her emotions, had he found her diary and read it, did he know? Was she in trouble for not getting home before her curfew? Was this about this mornings craziness? She followed him into his room. “What’s wrong James?” She asked hesitantly. ~

James was sitting on the edge of his bed when Olivia came downstairs to talk to him. As he looked up, and saw Olivia, he said,  “First of all, I saw your letter. If it were possible to have a monkey do the job, I don't think we would have tried bringing Kylie in today. So give yourself some credit for doing a better job than her and a monkey. And as for the rest of it, those things happened. And it was almost me who came to pick you up. I was at the house that night when you called mom and dad, and I was still up and when they said they were heading to pick you up, I offered to go in their place. It could have been me in the car at the time of the crash, but things happened. It's not your fault. It was those kids who were driving drunk.”  He raised his hand as if to say stop, a small quirk of his if he feels he is getting off track.  “You were in my closet earlier… You left one of my drawers open. The one with the green cable knit sweater. Is that all you found? And please don't lie to me.”  James asks nervously. ~

Olivia sat down next to James and listened to him. The thing about Kylie being worse than a monkey when it came to work almost made her smile. But as the conversation took a turn to the more depressing topics of her letter Ollie just looked down at her knees and fidgeted with the ends of her hair. When he mentioned that he had almost been the one to pick her up that night, she snapped her head up to look straight at him. A mix of terror, and surprise in her eyes. If James had been the one in the car, if he had died that night…? She was thankful that he had not come, but with this revelation a renewed loathing about herself washed over her. 

When he mentioned the drawers, and his closet, Olivia looked over to the closet and remember all the weird stuff she had found. Her first thought was to lie, but she quickly changed her mind and looked James in the eye. “Sorry…” she paused for a second. “I just wanted to borrow the sweater. I opened basically all the drawers.” She said honestly to him. Waiting for a reprimand of some sort, and possibly an explanation about the stuff she found.  ~

James visibly winced as his youngest sister freely admitted to having opened all the drawers in his closet.  Dammit, she definitely saw all of it. He pushed himself further onto his bed and brought his knees to his chest, almost subconsciously, as though it would protect him from what was about to come. His eyes somewhat glazed over as fear just kinda took over. She saw everything and probably thinks him a freak after all, or worse might even be scared of him. Seriously, that's what you think she thinks, after reading her letter that says flat out that she’ll love you no matter what. At least give her the chance to prove it.  “So… You saw all of it?”  James decided to ask, clearly scared that Olivia might still react badly.  ~

”Yeah…” Olivia said uncertain of what else to say. She could see that James was visibly shaken for some strange reason. As to why she had no idea, and so she tilted her head in confusion. She had not come to any conclusion about the woman's clothing and other items she had found in his closet. She hadn't had time to let her imagination run wild with it. But she wondered why James seemed so scared. ”I’m sorry. I know you don’t like people going through your stuff. I just wanted to wear that sweater and um well I don’t really get it, but are you ok?” She said all this quickly with the words pouring out of her mouth. She was worried since his reaction was not at all what she expected. ~

James was hesitant when he realized that Ollie wasn't calling him a freak or a pervert or anything of the sort… Yet at least. He looked over at her and thought about what he would say. How could he explain it?  “Yes… No… I don't know… I'm honestly unsure. It's pretty hard to go and explain.”  he sighed, nervous about what he was saying.  “I didn't understand what was causing my depression until about three years ago. I just found the answer out of nowhere online, and ever since then I've been doing a lot better. And it all makes sense to me. I… I wasn't supposed to be born a boy… I'm transgender. And it has been causing so much pain being stuck as I am, I just want to cry sometimes and… It takes so much energy out of me.”  He blurted out, then immediately ducking his head down out of fear of a negative reaction, ready to hide.~ 

Olivia furrowed her brows. She had so many questions. James wasn’t suppose to be a born a boy? Transgender was something she had heard of thanks to her facebook newsfeed talking about that one celebrity girl who came out as transgender, and got surgery and a new name to be a man. It was all anyone talked about for months early last year, and practically all the magazines and news channels had an opinion to share. But James, a girl? “Do mom and dad know? Does anyone know? Are you going to turn into a girl, like all the way? Wait does that mean you like boys or girls? Why didn’t yo…” She stopped herself from babbling out a bunch of questions, and just looked at James, her older brother, she really looked at him for the first time.

 He seemed so scared, about his confession. Looking back she could see little things that stood out, that made sense with what he was saying, but she had always thought that maybe he was secretly gay. Olivia sighed and scooted closer to James. She wrapped her arms around him. “Jamie you’ll be ok. Ok? I’m sorry I had no idea about any of this. And all because I went through your stuff without asking, it's like I forced you to tell me. I’m so sorry.” She said quietly to him. She let go and rested her head on his shoulder. ”Thank you for telling me. I love you Jamie...always...” She said calmly smiling at him trying to reassure him. She would accept James no matter what, that was for sure, and in all actuality she just wanted James to be as happy as he could be. A tear escaped from her watery eyes and she sighed. ”But now I really have too many sisters. Olivia said to him trying to make the tense energy in the room lighten. Hoping to make him smile. ~

 “Yes, yes you do have too many sisters.”  James practically giggled. But then he grew somber, and fear set in again. How would the others react? Especially Riley, he’ll probably feel like he has been betrayed, thinking that there was another boy in the family, only to find out that he was supposed to be a she. James brought Olivia closer and hugged her back, and whispered in her ear, as a few tears broke free.  “Thank you.” James sighed as he thought about the questions she asked. As James pulled back, he wiped a few tears away from his eyes.  “Mom and Dad knew, they helped me get some of it, and with their help, I was going to tell you all at the end of the semester. You're the only one who knows... I think. I still like girls, though there may be one exception… But he's just a friend and completely oblivious. And yes, I plan on getting surgery to correct… That.”  A few more tears break free as he lets his mind focus on how badly he is sure the others will react.  “I'll be okay, I… I just don't know if I can tell the others yet. I'm not sure they'll understand. I'm sure you have questions, and I'll try to answer them if I can.” James offered, trying to change the subject slightly.
~

She sat quietly with him for a few moments trying to decide what to say, what to ask. ”I think even if they don’t understand, they will still accept and love you no matter what. Whether you are our brother or sister.” Olivia said truthfully. She could not imagine anyone in their family hating James or persecuting him for being who he was. But she also could not even imagine what James was going through, or what he would have to endure as a transgender person. ”I won’t say anything to anyone unless you tell me to.” She said slowly as she tried to picture James as a woman. ”So do I still call you James? Or are you going to change your name to something else? What do you do if you want kids...cause with like the surgery and all I assume...um. You're not going to like completely change right? You’ll still be the James I know but like with a girl body?” She asked hoping this didn't mean James had been hiding his true self, true personality from her her whole life. ~

James smiled when Ollie reassured him that the others would love and accept him… Even when he finishes transitioning.  Told you so. It feels nice to have someone supporting you again, doesn't it? James nodded on the inside. Then he listened as Olivia began asking questions about the situation. Questions that were expected. He exhaled and focused.  “Thank you for promising not to tell anyone. Okay… For now, yeah you can keep calling me James, but eventually I will be changing my name. I haven't made a definite decision yet, but I keep coming back to the name Jessica Alice. What do you think? Kids… More likely than not I'll end up adopting when I'm ready. There are other things I could do if I want kids of my own, actually related to me… As for me changing. No, I won't change much… I'll be happier, more comfortable with myself, but no, I won't be very different. It’ll still be me. Yeah, It’ll pretty much just be me with a girl body.”  James tried to explain.~

Olivia listened intently. Nodding along to what he was saying. ”Jessica Alice Reese...it is pretty. And it still your same initials, so it's kind of clever too. Did you pick Alice because it was Grandma’s name?” She asked smiling at him. As long as James was always going to be James she was fine with anything. ”You are lucky that you won’t have a period. It sucks.” Olivia said remembering getting hers for the first time last year. Strange as it was Olivia was totally comfortable with the idea of having James as a sister rather than a brother. ”I know what it’s like to have a big secret. You are really brave Jamie.” Olivia said proudly. ~

James hadn't quite thought of that. He hadn't come up with Alice because it was their grandmother’s name, but it was one more reason to choose it.  “No actually. The name just kinda came to me and it felt right, but it is part of the reason I keep coming back to it.”  And then Olivia had brought up the fact that he was “lucky” he would never have a period, that he would never get the experience of carrying a child and giving birth, something that he knew he would never get the chance of doing, but it would be something he’d sacrifice a lot for. He wanted to be a mother at some point. He seemed to deflated slightly at that reminder, but perked back up and smiled at Olivia when she called him brave.  “Thanks Ollie. I know it's not something that'll be easy to get used to, but I really do appreciate knowing you have my back. I'm glad I have you as a sister. I love you so much. If you want to, when it's just the two of us, for now, if you want to call me Jessica or whatever, it's okay by me.” ~

”I love you to Jessie!” Olivia said happily jumping off the bed. She turned around to face him.  You know when you called me down here, I was kind of freaking out. I thought I was in trouble or something.” She said flipping her long hair over her shoulder. Olivia had more questions, and she wanted to just keep talking to Jess all night. She had not felt this connected to anyone in a long time. Not since she lost her friends and parents. Today had be a wreck, but it seemed to be ending better. ~

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