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9 mos ago
Current I'm tempted to say "I've lost better friends than you" to a lote of people lately. I'm not sure what I ever want to say to the better friends that I've lost, though.
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Bio

Twelve years ago, I said something on this website that continues to embarrassing me to this day. I was a stupid kid, like most, but I've never quite gotten the taste out of my mouth. Anyone who knew me at the time can tell you about it.

I love this website. I'm pretty sure my phylactery is stored wherever the webserver is and a significant chunk of me will just disappear when it ceases operation. Until then, it comforts me. I should go to the hardware store and paint my bedroom walls with the same soft, brownish grey that the background color has been for the last twelve years. Some of my friends can't wait for the site to go offline but I don't know of any other places that offer the same sense of community.

I'm an omni-gamer. I like board games, tabletop roleplaying games, admire tabletop war games, suck at riddles, and have an absurd library of video games. Survival horror is basically my favorite genre. Otherwise I'm a fan of esoteric, occult bullshit and punk rock. But disco's cool. Disco is what humanity sounds like when it chooses to be happy. Between you and I, I'd like to hope that the days of my life can sparkle like a disco ball, accreting like sparks from a grinder held up against the unwavering dark of deaths own shadow. Burn baby burn.

You and I, we're gonna die. We should be friends first, though. Write some checks we can't cash and make eachother smile. Make believe for a while.

Most Recent Posts

The Inquisitor


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Andrew Devin Garfield
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November 15 | 25 | American
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Single | ♀/♂ | Heterosexual
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High School Graduate | Conspiracy Blogger
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Physical Profile

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Miscellaneous Items
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Appearance Details
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Y'know that scene from the Wreck-It-Ralph 2 trailer where Cinderella smashes her glass slipper and expertly parks it in front of Vanellope's face? Yeah, Andy is that slipper in the form of man. He's jagged, kinda twitchy and shattered looking, like a kid who still can't stand the idea of standing still. His skin doesn't quite look like it fits on his bones, it's a little too tight. His knuckles are a pearly white, even when he's at his easiest. His veins also push out of his skin, like speed bumps. His limbs jitter and tremble, like a junkie, but his eyes are somethin' to behold. If the hyperactive exterior isn't enough to unnerve you, you may reconsider after checking out his eyes.

His eyes tend to move less than most other people's, not lazily, but as though he is strangling his destiny with them. It's easy to get the impression that the man has too much raw power and ambition to be contained within his modest frame, like if a squirrel were an apex predator. If you bump his shoulder, you may notice that his musculature is rock solid. Most of his body, head not withstanding, is sparse if not hairless, like marble.

He's got some scars, mostly on his torso, one over his right shoulder-blade. If you look closely at his neck, even if he's in a t-shirt, you might be able to catch a glimpse of the biggest one. It spreads all the way from his neck to the bottom of his sternum. He might get self-conscious if he sees you staring at it, though. He tends to walk around in hoodies (though a trenchcoat isn't out of the question), black, navy blue or a dark green. Blue jeans or some sort of active lifestyle pant. Maybe a backpack or a satchel. He'll usually be in gym shoes.

Personality
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Andy had spent his recent years as a provocative edgelord. He thinks he's grown out of it; he's wrong. He knows he hates "the establishment", but doesn't know what he's talking about. He's very naive in that sort of way. He's a bit headstrong and presumptuous, at times. He sees himself as very correct and justified. He's almost self-sanctimonious, though he'd be likely to deny any such accusations at present.

He sees people as puzzles to be solved. When he meets them, he tends to size them up and immediately determine if they are a danger to him or others. Then he goes on to see what they guard, what sorts of questions they dance around, what information he can actually use. He feels like a hero, like the only torch in the oceans depths, like a queen amongst pawns.

He doesn't know whether to believe in magic or not. He doesn't know whether he actually found a creature in his parents locked room before the house burnt down. He doesn't know if he has a knack for finding the truth or if people just trust him. It's driving him a little bit crazy. He needs to discover the magic in the world.
Character Synopsis
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Andy Garfield didn't really talk to his parents much. They had a big house, a big yard and a big collection of useless junk. They occasionally reiterated that they loved him, but he felt like little more than a knick-knack. Some would say they saw the value in material things because they grew up poor. Others would say that they were hoarders. Andy did. There was one particular room Andy wasn't allowed to go in. He only disobeyed occasionally. Like, four or five times. He got caught every time. Spanked. Lectured.

He wasn't even sure why it was so important that he stay out. Around the time he was sixteen, he'd entirely lost interest in the room. He'd joined the basketball team and poured his soul into it. In spite of his unimpressive height, he made for one of the best centers his coach had ever observed on a high school team. Rumor had it he was being scouted and had a real chance at making it to the big time before he lost interest entirely.

His parents fell into comas. Both of them. At once. It was a very taking time for Andy. His relatives assured him that they would rush down to make sure he was okay. Days passed. It didn't happen. Nobody came. At least nobody that he cared about. In that time, his idling mind grew desperate for distraction. Even then, he wasn't too terribly close to his parents, but he was thoroughly uncomfortable. He shed some tears and filled some Kleenex, but it was hard for him to describe what he was afraid of.

Some of the relatives who had visited told him that his parents loved him very much. They told him that everything would be okay. They told him that they knew what he was going through. He wished that everyone would stop lying to him. So he decided to royally fuck up the order that had been imposed on him. He rearranged the living room. He sold his father's vinyl collection. He deleted his mother's recordings of soap operas. And he made sure to smear eyeshadow all over his face when his relatives were around, painting pentagrams on everything and making a mess of the place. He even set up a shrine to Baphomet. And he joined the Church of Satan.

He started running out of juvenile ways to rebel, so he thought back to his youth: The room. He'd go into the room and he'd do whatever he wasn't allowed to. Upon entry, there was a curtain to pull back. He found a few bongs, a book of Billy Corgan's poetry, a blow up doll, Limp Bizkit's complete discography and a fleshlight. He squealed with disgust.

Then noticed a grinding laugh coming from a smoking silhouette sitting in a throne, directly under the light of the room's chandelier. Amethyst eyes blazed from the figure's depths and it gazed seductively, almost hypnotically at Andy's soul. It said "Your parents love you." It chuckled, "Your parents love you very much?" He cackled madly, electrically, "We know what you're going through."

Taken aback by this figure, he reasoned that he must have summoned it with his pentagrams and eyeshadow. "Did I bring you here?" The being laughs and lashes, "Of course. Your wish is my command." Andy stammers and asks, "Who are you?" The shadow answers, "I am a butterfly, my larval friend. I'm the manifestation of your parents love or lack thereof. I am your subconscious, your god." Andy is silent, not knowing how to respond, if he should reason, run or die.

"I do not grant wishes, but dear little brat, I'll humor you. No one will ever be able to lie to you again. Good luck finding the truth. I believe you'll find that there is no such thing." Curiously, Andy asked for clarification. The Silhouette said, "You are now to be my Inquisitor, my agent of mystery. You will leave no stone unturned, no answer unquestioned. Not because I will make you, but because you wished it to be this way. Now be a dear and set me free. Read the passage, the one highlighted."

And so he read from Billy Corgan's Blinking With Fists:
"Gentle waves rise
just off the fingertips
All I breathe is mine
By name alone
Shape-shifter questions
To strip skin off slow
Devoid of sex
I mix up unions in the offering
The hushed-up voices are here
But they are sated full
Waiting for the stumble
That must surely come
"this time," he declares loudly
annonymous town square
"this time there will be no stumble"


At that, the silhouette began to disintegrate and glorious shadowy tongues began to shine their secretive aura in a blaze that engulfed the house. The darkness consumed the throne and the book and CDs, the toys and the throne and the room. The fire ate it's heart out, blazing on the walls and the carpet, consuming the whole house and it's resident too.

Andy woke up on his eighteenth birthday, coming out of a coma. His parents were dead and he'd now inherited a considerable sum of money, largely from insurance, but apparently a couple of his other relatives had included him in their will, graciously kicking the bucket before he came back to the waking world.

The staff all admitted that they had no idea why he didn't die in the fire and why he hadn't atrophied at all. In fact, he was in better health than some of the staff. His muscles ready, he spring out of bed and went into the world, with no home, no car and nowhere to go. So he started living in a hotel and doing research on the supernatural, though it was quite difficult to parce folklore from reliable journalism. He has been on the lookout for monsters, occultists and those involved with esotericism.

Under the veil of twinkling starlight, Andy had been marching to a convenience store. His march was interrupted by an adolescent girl, about eleven or twelve, who screamed for help. He answered, rushing to her aid and asking what was wrong. She told him that she was being pursued by a monster and that she was scared, so Andy volunteered to escort her home. Shortly after he turned his back, he heard some infantile giggling. The girl told him to "Run!" before taking off down the street herself. Andy backed away from it slowly, facing it. Andy hadn't seen anything so small move so quickly since the last time he'd taunted a housecat with a laser.

Andy leaped over it as it pounced at his feet, revealing retractable claws the length of pencils. The infant-thing didn't stop after passing under Andy, it gave him no further consideration. Instead, it took off after the girl. Andy wasn't fast enough to save her. She's dead now.

The infant-creature escaped. Andy fled the seen to avoid accusation. But Andy swore that he would find the baby-faced beast, prevent it from doing any further harm, and destroy the people responsible for unleashing it upon the world. He opened up a blog, calling it The American Inquisition to document his findings. He hasn't yet shared any of it, but it is counting down to be published and advertised across the web if he doesn't perpetually postpone its launch.

Abilities & Skills
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//Abiliites:
Superhuman Ability | He cannot be lied to. A portion of the djinn he'd encountered lingers within him and prevents anyone speaking directly to him from explicitly stating anything not lining up with their own personal take on "reality". Ever since his experience, he's not felt like himself, though he isn't entirely sure if it's due to trauma or because he is under the psychic influence of a higher power. He's not sure it makes a difference.

Limitation(s) | He doesn't cause people to speak truth; he prevents lies. He can be directly ignored and has no superpower that can make people feel compelled to say anything. For this reason he is faced with the ethical conundrum of whether to pressure those he is interrogating with intimidation or actual harm.

People who are incorrect, naïve or in an altered state of mind may provide him with disinformation, because they believe themselves to be telling the truth. In some circumstances, it essentially makes it entirely useless and emotionally exhausting for him to have a superpower in the first place. It's like listening for a tree to fall in the forest while listening to a playlist of falling tree recordings.

The ability to prevent lies only applies when statements are made directly to him. He can be lied to if he is part of a group, like over an intercom. He also cannot retroactively alter recordings he encounters that contain lies to contain truths. For example, if he finds a Post-It-Note that says "All rabbits have five legs", it will not change to say that "Most rabbits have four legs."

Weakness(es) | He has been pretty emotionally unavailable for most of his life. While temptations of money or power would be largely uninteresting for him, it's not unimaginable that his principles could take a backseat to romance. For those opponents who don't quite have the resources or attention to orchestrate a long-game, you can always stomp on his right pinky toe. He broke it as a youth and it never quite healed right.

//Skills:
Reflexes | He's not necessarily good at fighting, or at hitting people where it hurts. But he is pretty good at avoiding strikes and not getting trapped, maimed or killed. He's got something of a practiced paranoia that warns him when something is terribly wrong, even if he can't quite put a finger on what it is.

You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I'm telling you why
Night Runner is coming to town
Do contemporary cave paintings count as indie comics?
I don't understand why Negative Man being on the set for Doom Patrol is newsworthy.
<Snipped quote by Eddie Brock>

Do you need some help from above? :P


Meaning Canada?
Hey guys. Hate to do this, but I'm gonna let Logan go. For once it's not because I don't have opportunity to write, but every time I do so, it feels more worth it to put the effort into the comic I've been saying I've been working on for months. I don't intend to leave this community or disappear or anything, but I'll just have to find something that feels worth telling. I'll probably just put all the IC posts in hiders.

EDIT: See, Re, I'm not a hypocrite.
Sometimes commercials are very convincing.


Wish I was asexual.
Too start my own discussion, who is your favourtie underrated villain? Someone that never really grows (but has the potential to do so), or someone that just gets isnta-knocked out. Why are they you're favourite?

The correct answer is Mark Waid's creation Ikari. He appeared brilliantly enigmatic with the same skills and abilities as Daredevil with the key difference of not being blind, which was a thundering revelation. He was essentially Bullseyes pawn and I can't really criticize much of anything that Mark Waid's DD run had put out but I really wanted more Ikari. I feel like he's meant to incubate, but I think he'll be a more central villain in time. Next time MARVEL recycles the Dark Avengers concept, he'll probably ve a prime candidate as a DAREDEVIL expy.
I would love to see Magneto wield Mjolner.
<Snipped quote by Eddie Brock>

That whole soundtrack, though. My little brother and I were talking one time and the subject of "nu metal" came up and wanted to know what defined it. I just said that anyone who was on that soundtrack was nu metal.


Raise Your Rifles is far and away the best song on there.
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