FernStone

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Monday 18th December. Late Evening. Home.

In the end, the party wasn’t a pleasant experience for either Casey or Trisha. Casey got so drunk he nearly started a fight with a boxer over some teasing, which only set off Trisha's anxiety over the whole event. Thankfully, Leon was around to settle it before it became an actual fight… But he couldn’t stop the near fight the couple had when they got home.

But it didn’t happen again. Things calmed down, and went back to the uncomfortable normal. Sunday was spent recovering. Silently pretending they were both fine, with Trisha briefly seeing Reyna before she left only to scamper right back to Casey. She was getting more and more jumpy with every day. But she still didn’t want to be anywhere else but by his side.

There were some good moments on Sunday too. Quiet moments where they managed to enjoy each other's company, and things felt more normal. The kind of moments that let Trisha feel like they could really get through this.

Then Monday came round, and Casey actually had to go to work. Something that Lynette wanted from him. What, he didn’t know.

Which left Trisha alone. She hadn’t spent more than a few hours without him since they dealt with Dollhouse, aside from some times when she was ‘asleep’. Even then, he’d been in the same building. And this time she didn’t know what he was doing. It could be anything. He could be in danger and she couldn’t do anything.

It made her incredibly anxious, to the point she couldn’t actually do anything. She tried, turning on the TV to try watch something, before swapping to her laptop to do some work, before picking up a book to read. None of it kept her attention. Her panicked thoughts always caught her. Each one came with a worse scenario, all of the anxiety she’d been suppressing coming up to the surface.

What if he didn’t come back? What would she do?

In the end, the only thing she could vaguely do was clean. It was never something she’d found comfort in, but it was better than curling up into a ball of fear on their couch. Maybe it would make Casey happy too. Most of it was her own mess tidied- makeup strewn about their bathroom, clothes she’d considered wearing and forgotten to put away. But she wiped down the surfaces in the bathroom and kitchen too.

But there wasn’t enough to do, because Casey still kept the place practically spotless. So she ended up back in the Den, the door left wide open so she could see the main door, getting more and more anxious as she waited.

And she would’ve waited a terribly long time. The kind of time that really makes one sweat, constantly refreshing their awareness of time as fifteen minute increments pass like dough through wire mesh. Each labored minute spent in anticipation of something only extended the waiting time into the smallest portions of calculable passage. Seconds dripped on in the quiet, crashing against the pool of what was, their last echo being the ripples left behind to join the batch before and be swept away by the batch after.

Waiting was never worth it. Not this kind of waiting. Not the kind that let every possibility run through one’s head to crash over the ramparts and flood the keep with nightmares. This wasn’t right. No call, no break, no information. To embarrassed to go downstairs and ask, or to see if anyone knew anything. Why bother? He always comes home. And he had. It’d been a couple of hours even. Leon had left with Cass. Blowing off the steam of the night. It made sense, though he was far more pragmatic about it than Casey was feeling now.

The Halcyon office had been full of people Casey considered friends. Igor Rasmussen, Jada Cartwell, Davis Ferraro… Gin. His head was bolted in a single direction thanks to his knees. He was forced to stare forward, body being held tight and rigid as he didn’t want to move. Couldn’t, frankly. All he could possibly think about was wanting to trade. Trade it all for them to have another chance. He never could’ve expected this to have been the outcome, after all. He thought they’d wind up onside, with those who wanted to escape this cycle.

Lynette had used Project Eden’s research against them. Told them that if they wanted to continue into the future, changes would need to be made. They’d need to do more. They were smart people. Book people, just like the Portal Lab. Academic Adepts searching for the answers to ancient secrets and new world problems. But they were still Adepts, and other Supernaturals too. Aberrations abound. Everyone working toward returning Shimmer to the Eden it once was.

And working on ways to make Lynette immortal. Or ways to hex those who would threaten her. Or making new machines to torture the Adepts outside their circles. When he first saw the evidence, he assumed it was purely out of fear for their existing projects. That they maybe felt they wouldn’t be supported in the future if the architect of their designs was no longer helming the endeavor.

He had no way of knowing in that moment that she’d put them up to it almost a year ago. It was a slow, secretive conversion of purpose… And it totally aligned them both emotionally and ideologically to her whims.

Rather than allow their work to bear fruit, however, Lynette’s true plan was far more devious. In her radicalization of Project Eden, Lynette set up an intimate level of control over the group as a whole. Every string tug saw the entire group jumping at what she told them to do, and gathering them all in the Halcyon office had been the easiest step.

The harder job was convincing Leon and Casey that they were now a threat that needed to be eliminated if they wanted to see their own futures become reality. That if they didn’t go and stop Project Eden now, they’d be too late to prevent Lynette’s ascendence. The brothers found themselves mired in a very real trolley problem then… And Lynette once again got her way. The purpose was manyfold, and planned with such diligence that she impressed herself.

Force the pain upon her murderers, and embed the memory into them. Make sure they never forget the feeling of betrayal. Force Leon and Casey to kill friends and loved ones to ensure that their ultimate goals could still happen. Force them to destroy others for the sake of an ideal. Leave them with that for the rest of their lives, that the guilt and pain would fester.
But, the problem for Casey and Leon was very real. In truth, they were left with no other choice but to destroy Project Eden, and in doing so, kill all living members. Lynette purposefully gathered them in the tight, magically trapped facility, and directed her weapons to the fray.

And Leon could still live with himself. Lelou helped a great deal, but it was never going to be a spotless transition. Doctor Andy had only just recently made herself a massive help in Cass’ life. She was responsible for ensuring that they were all set up to deal with Cass’ sickness when it came, and her team as a whole had been pivotal in ensuring Leon had comfort in those first weeks after adjoining.

For Casey, there were people like Roger Wiers, Peter Maize, Valerie Cook and James Atkins; all people responsible for magical equipment that he never could’ve made solely on his own. Then, the impromptu teams responsible for the influx of supporting technology for Trisha! All headed up by…

He still tried to get her face out of his head. Every time, emotion welled up to the point that he found himself shouting and sobbing. He couldn’t see her face without seeing Trisha’s. Seeing them happy… Listening to her little voice playing on the other end of Trisha’s headphones. He was immediately transported to a time when they were children. Gin and Igor were arguing. They couldn’t have been more than ten year olds. Casey stepped between them, warding Igor off. He remembered Gin’s sweet disposition.

I wish you were my big brother!

She could’ve fought back. He didn’t just hesitate in that moment, he flat out paused. She had every opportunity for Jekyll and Hyde to manifest and pummel him into the ground. She didn’t… Tears filled her eyes, and all she did was raise her hands out to him. He should’ve stopped… He should’ve ended it there, and thrown the gun down. He should’ve run to her, and comforted her, even if that meant dying. Even if that meant she ripped his fucking head off: It would’ve been good. Better than what he did.

Better than murdering his friend Ginara in cold blood. Better than watching her body splinter open into a million chunks. Better than her soundless reaction. He didn’t have an Apparition to tell him everything was going to be okay. Things weren’t going to be okay.

The only consolation he had was that he could leave Trisha with the gifts that Gin had given her. The mini-generator making her bee habitats in the greenhouse was still online. The big manual had even been opened on a nearby laptop, as if they knew he’d be there to claim it. It all packed onto a dolly, and moved easily from place to place. They’d really thought of everything…

He’d cried so long he didn’t even think to change out of his dark jumpsuit. Even if he’d thought about it, he wouldn’t have changed. Didn’t feel like he deserved it, or anything. No food. No comfort. He made himself sick. And worse, there was another problem that needed to be taken care of now.
He didn’t know what else to do, after all. There weren’t a lot of options, and he couldn’t see the yellow brick road ahead. In his mind, what was coming next would be best for everyone involved.

And even now, the ring on his finger pulsed its warning. That there would be Hell to pay if he went through with what he was thinking… He crossed the roof silently, head twisting to look at the greenhouse structure before turning to look at the house from a distance. He could see through the dark into the main area, then past it into the dark hall. But he couldn’t see into the Den without magic. So, he stood there outside in a quiet standoff with the half-closed door, hoping that Trisha was just fucking asleep so he wouldn’t have to do this right now.

Unfortunately for him, Trisha wasn’t asleep. How could she sleep? She was struggling to sleep right now as things were, nevermind when he was out. For so long. She’d been waiting for so long.

Where she’d ended up perching meant she could see outside, even if he couldn’t see her. It wasn’t a good view, but she could see the shadowed figure approach thanks to the front being made of glass. She didn’t need to actually see his face to know it was Casey.

But why wasn’t he coming inside? Why was he just standing there? Had something happened? Was he worried he’d wake her up? No, that had never been a problem. Why was he hesitating.

It only made her more anxious, but she did her best to suppress it. She had to go back to how it had been- keeping it underneath the surface for both of their sake. He was alive. He was alive, that was what mattered.

Trisha slipped out of the Den, reaching out to turn on the hall light, and then the light of the main area as she reached it. She couldn’t handle moving in the dark right now… She needed everything on her side right now anxiety wise. She could see Casey more clearly now, her brow furrowing in concern even as raised a hand in a wave and tried to smile. She hesitated for a moment before moving towards the door, hoping he’d actually come inside before she actually reached it.

He didn’t. He stood stark still, one hand in a pocket while the other dangled at his side. His hair was terribly matted, clumped, and looked half-damp. She’d have recognized the jumpsuit quickly as what he always called “Workwear”. When she got close enough to actually open the door, he could see her face with terrible clarity. Every single worry line on it. She was actually worried about him. She still would be after he told her. Even after he said what he had to say. But, that was fine. She’d worry. Then she’d get over it. Because ultimately, she’d have to understand. She was ill, not utterly depraved, after all.

He turned away, then hard pivoted on the foot to turn back. Because he told her he’d never really leave her. He wasn’t going to. She was going to leave him. And he was going to make her.

Trisha’s breath caught in her throat as he turned away, then back again. Confusion joined the worry in her eyes. She was close enough now that she could see him completely. If he was dressed like that, it meant… There was a high chance he was sent to kill people. It wasn’t the first time it had happened. The aftermath of the last two times hadn’t been good, because she hadn’t known then she hadn’t been supportive enough. But this time was different. She would be.

But why wasn’t he coming inside?

Clamping down on the nerves wreaking havoc across her, making her feel like throwing up, she reached out to open the door.

“Casey? Are you going to come inside? It’s cold out there…” She said simply, not wanting to push about what had happened yet. He’d tell her. She had to trust that.

”Don’t be dumb, Trisha.” he said without any great deal of emotion. Just dead words into the air.
”You don’t want me in there. I don’t even want to hear it.”

His face was illuminated by the lights inside, leaving the expression of abject pain and horror clear as daylight. He almost cowered from the light, and was the whole reason he felt the impulse to turn away. Having nothing to do with shame, of course…

”I just wanted to tell you. We have the hives downstairs. Nobody’s left to take care of the machine. Decide where you want to keep it. Stay as long as you need to find another place to be.”

What? What? Trisha gripped the door handle tight, breathing quickening. Her body felt ice cold, and it wasn’t because of the temperature outside. What was he saying? The hives were downstairs… Why? That meant that- Oh no. Had he killed- Had he had to kill-

She trembled, her concern for him and whatever had happened only adding to the panic crashing into her. Because it was more than just that. He was talking about another place. For her. Why would she need another place? Was this it? The moment she’d always known would come, that she’d feared so much?

But she’d always thought it would be because of something she did. Maybe it was. Maybe he’d reflected, and realised she wasn’t worth doing all of this for. She wasn’t.

Even though she was shaking and struggling to breathe, she managed to speak without stammering.
“Are you breaking up with me?”

”I said I don’t want to hear it.”
His voice echoed across the roof as he became rather stern. He’d never say the words. That was part of the agreement, after all.

And he didn’t want to break up. But he knew if he told her what happened, things were over no matter what. They’d become friends. Gin truly held Trisha in high regard. The image of her arms outstretched to him for help hit him square in the face again, and in the lingering space was Trisha’s own horrified expression.

”Because it’s that! That, that… Face! Why!? Why, what makes you think I’m right!? Why the fuck do you think you can stick around when I’m… This?” he vaguely waved his arms up and down his body.
”Fucking disgusting! Less than an animal! I’m fucking evil, Trisha! Do yourself a favor and just fucking run!”

He didn’t start sobbing, but within an instant he absolutely was crying. Tears streamed down, and his nose began to leak in equal parts.

“No! No, no! I’m not going anywhere. I’m not!” Trisha shook her head, a sliver of realisation dawning on her at the same time her panic escalated into a full attack. Each breath was a struggle, overwhelming panic crashing down on her. Her right grip on the door kept her upright even as her limbs grew weak.

He did want her to leave. He wanted rid of her… Because he thought he didn’t deserve her. But he did. He did! She didn’t care, she didn’t care what he did- because she knew he wasn’t evil. He didn’t kill people for no reason. He didn’t. She wasn’t going to let him do this. She wasn’t leaving. She’d never leave. Never, ever.

“You’re not evil, Casey! You’re not. I- I know you’re not, no matter what you’ve done! I’m not fucking running. Because I love you. I’m not going anywhere, I don’t care, you can’t just tell me to run and expect me to do it. Because I won’t. I won’t. I’m not leaving you.” She wanted him to see what she saw.

And she wouldn’t be the one to leave. Never. And even if he tried to break up with her, she’d still fight for it until he’d thrown her out. Because there wasn’t anything else after this.

”I’m not… Doing this with you. You don’t understand. You really don’t.”

He stepped forward once, then again.

”I. Killed. The Light!”

His face loomed down at her, staring with cold, dead eyes far past her head and onto the soul inside.

”You love something I’ll never be able to be. Because I’m not a man. I’m not an animal. I’m a weapon. Everything I get pointed at dies. And there’s no room for love in that. And there is no such thing as love for something like me. And if you weren’t so hurt all the time, you’d agree. I’m not even here. I haven’t been present in so long.”

What he said ignored all the good of the previous month. Every moment he did feel good and connected. And he’d done this before as well! Earlier, he’d managed to take it. But, they weren’t as close… They weren’t-

”I… See her face. And then its gone! Trisha! It’s fucking gone! She’s dead! Dead, and I fucking killed her because I had to! Because she would’ve… She couldn’t…”

Maybe she even knew. They’d never hidden talks from her. Figured she’d be there with them in the end. Poor Gin. Sweet Gin. Caught in the middle of something she had no reason to be… Because Lynette wanted her cake, and to eat it too.

”She’s your… She loved you. You don’t even get it! You wouldn’t even let her fucking hug you! What, some fucking computer game… She loved it! Any time she could spend with you… It’s gone… Fucking gone!” he turned away again, hands collapsing atop his head in anguish.

Even if she’d guessed, hearing it was another thing. Hearing Casey so destroyed by it. And he thought he was evil. A weapon. A weapon wouldn’t care! They’d enjoy it, they’d move onto the next- But he didn’t see that. And she didn’t know how to make him see that. How the fuck could she comfort him while he was trying to push her out of his life?!

“Then maybe I’m evil too! Because I didn’t let her hug me! I was a shit friend! And I’m less fucking upset than you are.” She was upset. It was horrible. She liked Gin, she expected Gin to still be there… But she was being torn apart by so many emotions at the moment. So much panic and anguish.

“You don’t get to decide my feelings, Casey! I love you. I love you even if you killed her. And I’m going to keep loving you. Even if you break up with me. Even when I’m miserable and have no fucking hope left- Because you’re not a weapon. I don’t care if you think you are. You’re not.” She took a deep, heaving breath.

“I can’t bring her back. I can’t even comfort you, because you won’t let me! But I’m not leaving.” She wanted to beg him to stay. To break down and panic and clutch at him in the hope he’d take pity. That’d come. She didn’t think she could last much longer. But for now there was anger there too, as much as there was panic.

“You can think whatever the fuck you want, but you can’t decide my feelings. And you can’t change the past month! You can’t erase my feelings.”

”You lie, you lie, you lie so much you don’t even realize when you’re doing it! You do it to yourself, you do it to everyone else. You sit you say you can do it, you can be fine, but we’re both fucking liars! Don’t worry, I’m guilty too! Lying to everyone, that I can be what they need… She reached out to me like I was gonna help her, Trisha! You can’t even fucking imagine that! What the fuck went through her mind!? She loved me! She loved us! Together! There’s not even enough of her to bury and you want me to worry about how the fuck you feel about things!?”

This was the crux of it all. How could he ever ask her for comfort when this sort of stuff was what occupied her mind? Casey felt that this was a justifiable moment for him to show her just what he meant.

”We’re not fucking strong enough for this! Neither of us! You’re fucked, I’m fucked- I told you, take all the time you need. But, I’m not going back in that fucking house. I’m not getting your hopes up. You’ll be lucky I don’t kill myself by the end of the month.”

His left hand twisted to his right and tried to peel the ring off his finger. In the same instant, a surge of electricity stronger than anything he’d felt in a long time hit him like a sack of bricks, driving him to his knees with a yelp.

Trisha didn’t know what to do. What could she say, when he didn’t care about how she felt. Did he even care about her anymore? Had that been enough to ruin everything? She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to beg, she wanted to comfort him. Even as he got hurt trying to take his engagement ring off.

“You said you wouldn’t leave me. You promised. And I really fucking believed it.” Her voice was quieter, choked up by panicked gasps and sobs. He was never going to see. It was only him. There was nothing after this for her. She knew. She’d been with enough people to know when it was right. What would be the point now? To just go back to her miserable world, withering away in a room in her sister’s house? She’d had nothing left. Nobody.

She couldn’t bear the thought of him leaving. And she couldn’t bear the thought of him dying either. Leaving her alone one way or the other.

“Then just-” kill me too. She couldn’t say that. Because until he was out of her sight there was hope, no matter how slim, or how much it hurt. But there wouldn’t be if she said something like that.
“You won’t fucking care if I rot away up here.”

She’s nuts. She’s crazier than I am. What is this shit?

Casey’s mind wandered idly through the pain as his hand twisted around the ring to try and give it another yank. This time, rather than a yelp, it elicited a whole scream in pain as the inside of the ring began to twist and bite into the flesh and knuckle of Casey’s finger like a thumbcuff. That, of course, allows the copper diodes a better passage to deliver the maximum voltage. Now he was unavoidably on his knees in front of Trisha, head pressed to the brick at the front stoop.

”What… The fuck do you want from me? Are you sick? You… Want to hear? About all the awful things? Then sit there and tell me that you won’t look at me any differently than you did the night you met me!? The night I was okay, and it wasn’t this!? You can’t possibly be fucking serious Trisha, because if you’re fucking serious, there’s no fuckin’ turning that off! And I don’t think we can fucking do it! Not right now!”

He looked up at her, and tried to get up… But the ring was fully active now, and it had all the information it needed to put him in lockdown for his behavior. He’d agreed to this, and the only way he was going to be rid of it was to disenchant it.
But that would open a whole different can of worms if he even tried. At least the pain was something to focus on that made him more infuriated than dealing with what Trisha was saying.

”You are sick. If you think I’m worth your time. Like I’m not here to just make your life worse. Do you realize what being with me curses you to? What you’re fucking doomed for? How many times can we fucking do this-” he was going to continue but the ring hit him hard enough that he curled up like a cooked prawn and let out another scream of anguish.

Trisha dropped to her knees too, unable to stay standing as the panic attack fully clutched her. Her body kept the door open, and she leaned towards Casey even as she sobbed and struggled to breath. She wanted to help him, she wanted him to not be hurt like this- but she couldn’t. Her hands trembled in front of him, outstretched without touching him.

“I told you I was fucked up. I told you. I want to be with you! I don’t care what that curses me to. Because it hasn’t been a curse to me. I was miserable. I had no one and no hope. Nothing gave it to me until you… And I can’t go back to that. No matter how stupid you think it is, compared to everything you’ve dealt with- There’s no one else for me.”

Her hands fell to the ground, as she curled forward with heaving breaths. Maybe it wouldn’t matter. Maybe she’d panic herself to death here.

“I want you. All of you, good and bad. I’ll sit through it all. I will. I can do it. Just don’t… Don’t leave me.”

The ring wouldn’t let him speak now. Wouldn’t let him say anything that wasn’t what it thought was the truth. Real truth, reading directly from Casey’s own White Lux. No hiding it. His muscles spasmed without direction as arms crawled him closer. He was in the doorway now, comfort only coming in the resolution that he’d speak the God honest truth.

Through ragged breaths, he began to crack up.

”What… World do I d-deserve… Anything? For what I’ve done? I should… Just be dead too. Or, p-put on display. Pluck my eyes out. My tongue. Let them grow back and do it again. For this…”

He didn’t know how to forgive himself, clearly. How could he ever accept the forgiveness of others if not by accepting it within first?

”I… You can’t fucking comfort this. And that’s always going to make you feel worthless. You can’t fucking live with that.” he said through tears at her feet, the ring chomping back down again.

“But I can.” Trisha choked out, trying her best to sound vaguely strong. Near impossible panicking like she was. But it wasn’t like he was doing any better.

“I’ve always been- felt worthless. But I’ve never felt like I might be worth something until you. Y-You’re talking like that’ll make me feel worse than I already feel! But I won’t. And I’ll keep trying. Maybe one day I will help. Like you’ve helped me… Because you deserve me. Even if we’re both fucked up. I know you do, you deserve to live, you deserve so much- and I’ll make you believe it.”

She was speaking like she thought they’d still be together, even though everything was telling her that wouldn’t be the case.

“I hate myself. I’ve lived with it my whole life. But I was starting to not because of you. I can live with it, I will live with it. But with you maybe it’ll get better.”

His entire mind railed in the moment as he couldn’t possibly fathom how she was feeling like this in response to the information.

”If… I waited until the early morning for Cass to come home. And I went down there. And I fucking killed her with my own hands? Would you be this persistent? What if I’d just beaten Reyna to death in Leon’s apartment the other day after hearing how worried she was about you!? What if I went along with every little invasive thought that popped into my head on a daily basis!? Would you still try to rationalize it with me!?”

His whole face was twisted with pain, both physical and mental, as he looked up at her and tried to understand what she felt so that he could actually try feeling something that wasn’t this overwhelming sense of self hatred.

”You’re not inside my head! And I don’t know how to help you understand that! That… That I love you, and… I don’t fucking want this for you! So why are you so fucking persistant!? Why don’t you fucking… Care? I don’t fucking understand!”

“I do care! I care about you. I care that you hate yourself because you did something that you had to. What evil weapon would be sobbing on the doorstep trying to push away his fiance because he thinks she deserves better?! I care, but I care more about how it’s destroying you!”

Even through her tears and crippling panic she managed to look down at him. Her eyes were filled with desperation and panic, but also determination. Even as each breath felt like she was swallowing glass, and her hands and feet began to feel numb.

“And you haven’t. You haven’t killed Cass or Reyna. You don’t go along with every invasive thought. Thinking something doesn’t make it real! You’re talking about something I know you’ll never do! Because you haven’t yet… But you believe that thinking it makes you evil. I think it makes you strong because you resist it. You struggle through it.” Her hands clenched into fists painfully, nails digging into her palm in an attempt to feel enough pain to bolster herself through this. But she could barely feel it.

“You’ll tell me that I don’t know, but I don’t. I know you won’t. And I know I want this for me. I want the man who loves me and makes everything better for me, even when it’s difficult! Even right now I still want that!”

She wanted it, but he wasn’t really giving that to her. He just couldn’t. Not at the moment, at least. But the pain in his finger was starting to sear his brain as electricity shot across him with every contrary thought that crossed his mind. It was getting exhausting, to the point that he knew he was going to pass out soon. Either he’d end this, or the damn ring would…

A Richoux wouldn’t back down just because things are hard. You beat the problem down until it’s flat.
There’s no shame in standing back. A man knows when to admit defeat should it spare the troops. That is a quality of leadership, Caseau.

He curled up tighter, half-consciously dragging himself further into the house while crowding around Trisha’s feet. He didn’t say anything this time… Just started to sob completely, the cold air still blowing in. He didn’t want to deny the comfort, but couldn’t figure out how to feel besides undeserving. Unable to accept.

”She w-was always Lynette’s… F-fa-favorite… God… I’m… So fucking empty… She di-di-did this… And I… God damn me… Trisha!? Wh-h-how… Why!? Why the fuck is it l-l-like-” he wound up caught in a wave of emotion, carried off again.

Trisha dropped down, curling forward and over him. Her face pressed into his back, constant tears soaking into his jumpsuit. She didn’t actually hug him, because she was terrified he’d push her away again. That he’d still leave. She wasn’t going to stop being scared of that… Not for hours, probably.

“I- I don’t know, Casey. I don’t know.” How could she know, when he hadn’t even finished what he was saying? But even if he did, she probably wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that s-she keeps torturing you like this. Y-You’re not the one that deserves to feel like this. You’re not.”

”I am! I am, I do, she fucking hates me! All that effort, Leon gets to walk with a clear conscience because he’s got this fucked up sense of justice, and I get to be the one who lives with Gin’s-” he couldn’t finish the sentence, opening back up into a mournful wail as he started to pound the ground with his fist next to Trisha.

”-Her… Little face! She fucking still loved me! In that moment, she saw my face and she didn’t run! She didn’t cry, she didn’t do anything, because she fucking knew! And… How am I supposed to deal with that!? What the fuck!? Why!? She… Could’ve fucking run! And I could’ve stopped! I could’ve, but I didn’t, because for a split second there was a world where she… Defended Lynette… Even though she put her there herself! It’s her fault, and I suffer!” he shouted loudly.

“It is- It’s her fault. N- None of this would happen if it wasn’t for Lynette. B-Because people want to defend her- And she could t-tell them not too. But she doesn’t! Instead she makes people suffer… She’s the evil one, Casey. And s-she’s trying to destroy you, b-because she can’t let go and-” She took in a heaving breath, whole body shaking. He knew, he knew Lynette was the source of it all, but he still hated himself, didn’t he? Of course he couldn’t deal with it… He’d had to do something horrible.

“I wish I could take it away from you. I know I can’t! B- But- If- If- She still loved you… If she knew… Maybe she wouldn’t blame you…”

She knew. She knew. She knew. The laptop. The screens covering the machine.

There were other things too. Like how oddly quiet it was. How little they really fought back. Some got brazen, maybe they panicked. Maybe the plan had always been to let the brothers do what “had to be done.” Like they were building a pyramid, but didn’t get done in time, so they were just buried in limestone bluffs with the old king. Maybe it was possible she’d even told them, and that they all just… Understood. That they said yes to Lynette, and left it all at that.

And she knew why they’d do it. Gin was smart. She was odd, and she never worked the way people expected her to, but that’s always how geniuses were. And she was a genius through and through. Whatever her reasoning was, she welcomed the end with open arms. And all he could think of now was a world where he dropped the gun, and held her. Just cried then and there. Refused to play the game any further, and let her into his life. Saved her…

”God… I… Fuck! Trisha… I fucking-”

He couldn’t fathom putting a whole sentence together, letting his voice trail back off into more sobbing as the breakdown took its course. It was wholly unclear whether or not he’d make it out of this one, but at least for the moment he wasn’t telling her that she’d be leaving.

Obviously, Casey didn’t ever want that to begin with. But, even now, he couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t look at him like he saw himself. Like scum on top of a puddle in the city.

Trisha shuffled forward a bit, finally hugging him as best as she could. Her arms wrapped around him tightly, trying to offer some kind of physical comfort even when her whole body was in the throes of a panic attack. She was trying to breathe deeper, trying to get herself through it while she helped him get through this, but she just couldn’t.

All she could do was hold him with trembling arms, whispering out attempted comfort and condolences.
“I’m sorry… I’m here… You’re not- it’s not your fault…”

---

Thankfully, a pattern had long ago revealed itself between the two of them. As with the last conflict, it was only a matter of time before things cooled back down enough that they could be handled properly. Enough, at least, that there was time to start it back up in earnest. He’d long searched for positions that would prevent Trisha from clinging to him, and found that there were no lengths she wouldn’t go to in order to make him feel like she was a new fleshy weighted blanket.

At least he’d come inside completely.

”Listen-” he spoke ominously after having been relatively silent the last fifteen minutes.
”-I’m… We’re not… Nobody’s leaving anyone. Alright? But, I… Can’t live with the dancing. The compulsion to baby you, or protect your feelings, needs to go. Especially if you want me to feel like you… Really don’t think I’m a monster. Because if you’re so sensitive about shit like what I’m doing or how I’m feeling, how can I ever believe you’re not thinking about how I am and what I’m like all the time?”

Twisting in her arms slightly, he made motions that forced her to slide off of him.

”And I’m… Never gonna be honest in turn. Because I’m constantly trying to spare your feelings, when clearly you don’t want them spared. You’re sick. I’m sick. We’re both honest… So, I honestly need to be alone. I needed to be alone last week, and I made a bad judgement call. One I’m not gonna make again.” he spoke sternly, looking down at her from puffy red eyes.

“I told you…” She whispered, doing her best to appear as if she’d even vaguely calmed down in the past fifteen minutes. She hadn’t. She was still panicking. Because how could she really believe that he wasn’t going to leave when he’d just tried to. How could she stop having a panic attack when she still felt like it was going to happen.

She also needed to prove that she could handle it.

“Last week. I s-said I can’t get better if you- pander to my anxiety. I wanted you to tell me how you felt. I didn’t want to spend a week worrying about when you’d snap.” She wasn’t trying to start an argument, but trying to show that this was what she’d tried to say when they first argued. She didn’t want to be apart from him. But she didn’t want him to constantly prioritise her over himself. Because they were together.

Even if now was the worst time for him to decide that he needed that alone time.

“I know I’m sensitive, b-but I’m trying not to be. I can’t get better if you do always spare my feelings, s-so… I guess… I’m just agreeing. We’re together, which means we both support each other. Y- You don’t just support me. S-so if you need to be alone, you need to be alone… You just need to tell me… And I need to deal with my feelings and get better.”

Casey just closed his eyes in return, like what she said had been terribly painful for him to hear. In reality, it was more annoyance aversion. The idea that she couldn’t just say okay, or even remotely try to make it seem like she was stronger in the moment. Everything inside just came back out onto the plate. Ironically, something he’d asked for…

”I just… Have a lot of things on my mind. A lot of things that I don’t know how to deal with. But, I know that you doing your best to placate my feelings isn’t gonna help me. This all hurts. And I need to live in it, or die. And nothing’s killed me yet, so…”

He turned his body fully, moving to the bathroom and getting a towel, then upstairs to their room to shuffle around for some basic home clothes before coming back down.

”I… Wish nothing more than for there to be something you can do. Something that changes how I’m feeling. But life isn’t like that all the time. I’m sorry.” he spoke to her calmly and quietly before leaning down and planting a kiss on her head.
”I’ll be right downstairs. No further.”

“Alright.” Trisha just nodded simply. What else could she say now? Be honest about how anxious it made her feel, even if she still wanted him to go get the time he needed? He’d just feel like she was proving his point that she couldn’t handle it. It would be selfish, in the hope it would make her feel a little bit better.

She could handle however long it would be, even if she kept feeling like this. Like he was leaving. She’d been more prepared last week. Because she really was beginning to believe he wouldn’t leave by choice. Then he tried to make her leave. She couldn’t tell him, but it had shattered the confidence she’d started to build. She’d just have to try build it again.

“I hope you manage to feel a little bit better. Just take all the time you need.”

Though they were meant to be going away on Friday… It would be fine. If he still needed to be alone then, he could go camping near wherever they were staying, and she’d just… Live with it.

He wasn’t sure what he expected, but it wasn’t utter submission. He thought about keeping it in, but if they were being honest-

”It’s… Confusing how gutting this is. You just rolling over like this. You’d think I’d just want you to deal with it, but now that you’re trying, I just… Know it’s all hollow.”

He turned then, letting greyness fill the void between the both of them as he walked toward the door and out. Away. Like he said he’d never do. But all promises could be broken. He still needed the time if anything was going to get done. He had to force himself again. To decide what he wanted. If he had to go back and maintain the course, or if he meant how he felt about her leaving. About not thinking that she’d deal with this. And he looked out toward the edge of the roof, thinking about how nice it would-

His head turned back to Trisha one last time, then he made way for the door, letting it slam closed behind him, and leaving Trisha to fend for herself in that dark night.

Trisha waited until he was out of sight, before turning around and dragging herself back into the Den. At least all the pillows and blankets were still there, so all she had to do was crawl onto the couch and curl up. She’d get through it… Even if she didn’t believe he’d actually come back.

---

Tuesday 19th December. The Temple.

The dark halls of the bunker structure built under the grounds of the Temple of Charming and Graceful Individuals yawned ahead of Casey as dead eyes stared forward. His feet clicked against the stone floors, and each step felt heavier than the last as he forced himself onward. Nobody was meant to be here today… Lynette was upstate, doing some last minute preparations with Elise. With Project Eden gone, this place was mostly empty. Devoid of life and energy, he could sense the path that it took on a constant basis. The fact that it was hiding now meant it knew there was a Tiger on the prowl, and that it had to avoid being seen or it would be at risk.

Just like the others. Just like so many others. But, he needed to see it. He needed to know it was there, and to hear it… And to ask it for what it gave others. What they couldn’t comprehend or understand. Twisting, weaving from hall to hall, Casey was almost at a running heat by the time he made it to the end of the Baub wing, and smack into a sheer face wall.
But he knew it couldn’t be a wall, and quickly found the electrical signal attached to the switch. Pulling it, the wall swung open into a staircase that brought him further into the Earth. Damp blackness. Deep, dark, then… Candles. Everburning candles lighting the way forward and down a spiral that seemed to go on forever.

Until it was there. Really, really there in all the horror Casey couldn’t have imagined. Pinned to a stone throne via swords through the hands, knees and chest, and bound in time’s unrelenting grip just like the body of Alizee Altiere, was the body of Maxwell Alexander Richoux IV. Gravity Richoux. Casey stared now at the face of his father for the first time in many years. He’d never forgotten it, but now it felt like he could reach out and touch him. He couldn’t… The time barrier would’ve ripped him apart if he tried.

But he could feel his life crumbling. He wanted to hug his Father. He wanted to hear that he’d done a good job, and that all the fighting wasn’t for nothing. That all he was doing now would be worth it later. He needed love. He needed confidence from someone who he sought it from, not who would’ve given it to him no matter what. He needed to be better in that space for her, and for himself.
And at the feet of his Father’s corpse, he wept. And he prayed and begged for forgiveness.

And in the darkness, now that nobody else was around? Absolution heard his cries. And through his tears, he could feel his Emotional Field being prodded. It was the first time the creature had ever bothered to search this one, finding its familiarity suddenly tantalizing. It found itself mournful in return.

”D-dad… Daddy…” he practically regressed to childhood. To the feeling of comfort which came often after the proverbial whip. The phantom hand on his back brought a chill down his spine. The world faded in turn, until only he and the presence remained.

And he turned to find a boy. And that boy looked like him. And he was that boy, staring back at himself. And one smiled while the other’s face twisted in sadness.

”Aw, c’mon, Casey… You know I hate seeing you like this.”
”Likewise…”

Max looked back behind Casey, at the corpse he’d left long ago.

”You’re alive, Kid. And she’s great! You gonna go fuck all that up?”
”She doesn’t know what she wants.”
”You think you want one that does? That knows what she wants? Look at me!”

Casey’s sadness bubbled back up into rage. A rage that Max could feel, and Absolution did its best to quell in turn

”Ancients above, Casey… You’re burning. Don’t let this be us. Don’t leave it all behind because it hurts.”
”Did she really make you…?”

There was a pause. It did its best to decipher its own existence before shaking its head.
”I was tricked. Not forced. Nobody can force you to do anything, Casey. But, you can be tricked.”

And he wept again, as he felt the truth in those words crash against him. That he, just like his father, was easily manipulated.
”It makes a good soldier out of you. It would’ve done the same to me… I knew that I had to get away from that life. And ran smack dab into your Mother…”

”I… Miss you so much…”
”Honor the life you’ve been given… And be ABSOLVED”

---

Wednesday 20th December. Home.

It had been a difficult two days for Trisha. It took long enough for her to stop panicking after Casey left, the attack lingering long into the morning. The only small blessing was it exhausted her enough that she fell asleep for a few fitful hours.

She hadn’t slept since. It was a struggle to tear herself from the couch after that nap… But she didn’t know when Casey would come back. If he found her there, still in such a bad state, it would all just come crashing down again.

If he even comes back.

So she worked. It was the easiest thing for her to do when still so on edge and trying not to fall off the cliff back into a depressive stupor. She’d forced herself to do it so often. Even after fighting the Stygian Snake, when every night was filled with nightmares, she’d still spent every waking hour studying.

It was a bit harder to get into it when the only work she had right now was related to the honey business. Something she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep up without Casey in her life. But after a few hours of trying and failing, she managed to actually get into coding the website she’d been putting off starting for weeks.

Once she got into it, it was easy to lose herself in it. It didn’t stop her from thinking and worrying, but at least it was a distraction. Something to do on autopilot, something filling up her mind enough to stop her having more breakdowns. Even if she forgot to eat, something she’d planned to force herself to do just to pretend to be coping.

A whole day, and then night, and then into the next day- she worked on the website, with the only break being the occasional toilet trip or when she got so thirsty she couldn’t ignore it. At least she was making good progress here. Even if Casey didn’t come back, or he came back and had decided he wanted her to leave again… She’d have this. It didn’t make her feel much better. But it was a tiny success.

She could even use it to prove to Casey that she’d been fine. Even if a perfectly fine Trisha wouldn’t need to distract herself for every single hour… Would’ve been able to enjoy herself, even. But she was coping. Not having a panic attack. Doing something. It was good enough.

Casey didn’t come home with any great fanfare for Trisha to hear. Nor were there cheers or bright lights that heralded the arrival in turn. He’d spent the morning getting everything he needed to come back here. To resolve this situation once and for all, with the strength of something he never thought he’d get back. It’d all been inside him, of course. All in his mind. He knew that all the Apparition did was its best. But, it’d seen him. And these were the memories it left him with. And the feeling that lingered was something new that he’d not felt in a lowpoint like this.

He liked to think that it wasn’t the same as going to get help from some Pink Adept. That the Apparition only did what it said on the box… He’d never know for sure. His hair was pulled back away from his face, and he was dressed in clothing that he hadn’t taken when he left. And in tow, he had a laptop, which he gingerly turned over in his hands as he walked down the hall and stood in the threshold of the doorway to the den. His face was full of some emotion easily misinterpreted as anxiety.

Though there’d been no fanfare, Trisha had heard the door when it opened. There was a strange conflict of both relief and anxiety in response, leading to her not immediately leaving her spot. She was relieved he’d come home… But what if it was just to tell her he still thought she should leave? What if they just argued again, and it kept cycling around.

Her worrying gave him plenty of time to get down the hall. She pushed her laptop away, stretching up from the awful hunched over position she’d been working in. She turned on the spot to face Casey.

He didn’t look cold like he had before. Or angry. Anxious, maybe? Over what? What he had to say? What she’d say? But it wasn’t the worst expression, it probably wasn’t bad, he probably wasn’t going to make her leave-

“Welcome home.” She said quietly, voice slightly hoarse from lack of use over the last two days.
“How are you feeling?”

Casey shrugged with a nod as a primary response. Mostly because he’d expected her here, but also to at least acknowledge her question rather than just ignoring it.

”A way I don’t know how to describe.” he admitted simply, taking a step forward before letting his knees fall onto the couch. He folded his legs under his body, swinging them over the other side of the lounger.

”Am I interrupting anything?” he asked with quiet observation. He needed to, after all.
”If not, I’d… Like to talk. And to apologize.”

“You’re not.” Trisha shook her head, eyes widening slightly. She reached out to close her laptop lid. Something done to fill the time couldn’t really be interrupted, even if it was useful in the end. She hadn’t been in the middle of anything complicated anyway.

She was doing her best to appear calm. The dark bags under her eyes couldn’t be hidden, but at least she didn’t look like someone who’d been crying recently… Because she hadn’t since she managed to pull herself out of her panic attack. Since then, she’d managed to distract herself with work each time she felt like she might.

That he wanted to talk made her nervous. But he also wanted to apologise… So he probably didn’t want to talk about breaking up, right?

“I was just working on my website… But I wasn’t in the middle of anything with it. Just tidying things up. So… We can talk.”

He nodded, slowly reaching for her hands. On his own, his ring still sat, clean as it had been, meaning not only did he still feel positive about the relationship, but he had to get to a point where the ring knew he’d take it off and put it back on in order to be cleaned. His thumb ran across the back of her hand as he cleared his throat.

”To start, I wanna say: The best parts of me chose you. So, if the best me is the one that wants you, then it’s you or bust. That being said, I… I really need you to tell me whether or not you’ve done any thinking about where we left off. Because that’s all I’ve done. And I’ll be honest, I wasn’t alone the whole time. People came, and they asked questions, and so did I. And I really… Consulted anyone I could. But, I realized you… Probably didn’t have anyone you felt like you could go to.” he frowned.

Trisha nodded. She didn’t. She knew in a way that was her fault… Because she didn’t like opening up to people. And she really didn’t know who she could go to that would actually help. Cass, maybe… But she was too involved. It would make things more difficult.

“I’ve been thinking. Alone. I don’t know how I’d be able to not think… I’d need to cut my brain out, I think.” Maybe a bit morbid all things considering, but her thoughts never really turned off. Even when she was trying to code as a distraction. She still thought about it over and over again… It just gave her something to do to stop herself spiralling completely. To pretend she was going to be fine even though she struggled to believe that.

She hadn’t come to any resolution, like it seemed that Casey might have. Because she didn’t know what kind of Casey would be coming back. How could she prepare? Or even think of solutions when he said she couldn’t help him? She’d thought about solutions, had thoughts she wished she hadn’t had, and come back to the same place again.

“Cass did message me. But I didn’t talk to her… She’s dating Leon, after all.” She bit her lip. She wasn’t sure what the point was here. She could only guess.
“Is that… Part of what you want to talk about?”

Casey shook his head in turn.
”N-no, no… I… Just wanted to know what it was you thought. Honestly, without us sparing one another. I’m not looking for a fight, I don’t want to wind you up. I just… Am genuinely curious about what your takeaway from all this is.”

He needed to know that she wasn't totally blind to his faults. But, even as he said what he was saying, he realized he was trying to spare her, and bit his cheek before speaking quickly in response.

”I wanna know if you… Can understand where I was coming from. Not in some sadistic way, just, a part of what I thought about was a way to try and explain to you how I perceive myself, and why I think that the feelings I have make more than just a little sense.” he admitted wholly, realizing that it could just as easily sound like he was just trying to explain things away completely.

He knew he still had to accept responsibility for his actions. The only difference now was that at least he could do it proactively.

Trisha dipped her head, staring at her lap rather than him as she tried to decide how to respond. She had thought about it. She’d thought about a lot. But she was still parsing through it, trying to figure out how she really felt. And she had to fight the urge to give the answer she thought he wanted.

“A bit. I understand why you’d struggle to feel good about yourself after what you did, and why you’d worry about being with me.” She nibbled on her lip. She was still nervous. Because his feelings included the feeling that she should leave, right?
“I don’t think that means I needed to leave. I struggle with that even if I can understand a little bit of why. But- But it’s like you made the decision for us. I understand why you thought you had to. Because you feel like you’re dragging me down into some horrible life… But it also feels like you don’t trust me because of it. I-”

She frowned, going beyond just answering the question. But she should just try and say it, shouldn’t she?

“I thought about it a lot. You feel like you’re evil because you’ve done horrible things. You think I deserve better. I understand. But I don’t think you’ve tried to understand me. Not my anxiety. That I want to be the strong one when I have to be. I don’t want someone who’ll just protect me while asking nothing of me. And it makes me feel- feel like you think I’m just something that’ll easily break. I’m not.”

Nodding, Casey let his head fall slightly. She wasn’t wrong in her assessment; that it was hard for him to put himself in a place of empathy for her when he’d made his world out to be such a vastly different place.

”I’m a little hurt you don’t think I’ve tried. I did. I was. Still am, when it turns out neither of us are terribly strong. Just brave, both of us. We want the same thing. To be the backbone the other is missing. And we can still be that and both come to the understanding that we’ve got a lot of work to do. We both break easy. Lots of cracks and chunks missing as is.”

He took a deep breath, moving his face to look back at her.

”But, you love me. And I love you. And you were right before, when you said that was real. It’s not something I could ever undermine on purpose. I knew Gin her whole life. I was four years old when she was born. We were at the hospital there. I held her. Mel taught me how to do up a diaper for a girl, so that I’d be able to help Mom out when Mia was born… It was Gin! And I… Just felt like, if you were in my shoes? You’d hate me. On no other planet would I expect you to accept me knowing I can do that. How could you ever feel safe?” he questioned, clarifying his feelings as best he could.

Trisha furrowed her brow, mulling over how to explain how she felt.

“I… Probably would have those feelings if I was you. Because I already dislike myself for less, but… I do accept you, even knowing you could. And you’re right, that part of that’s probably because I’m sick too. But I can also see the whole picture. I can see everything you’ve done for me, why you felt you had to do that, and how horrendous it made you feel. I didn’t mean to invalidate how you felt then… But I do feel safe with you. Some of it is because of what else I see, some of it’s a gut feeling.”

She bit her lip, still not quite looking at him.
“It’s like… How I view myself. Maybe it’s not a fair comparison, because the reason probably just seem silly to you now. But you can see everything beyond that while I focus on that one thing. It’s the same for me towards you.”

She was able to talk about it like that because she wasn’t quite stuck in the mire of self hatred. Lingering panic and anguish, but blaming herself entirely for what happened was a stretch even for her. She knew he hadn’t wanted her to leave because of her... Not entirely.

“I don’t think it was right. I don’t think she deserved to die, or anything like that- but I also don’t think you wanted to kill her. At least, that’s how it looks to me.”

He closed his eyes slightly, nodding as she spoke. He knew she understood what it was like to not feel good enough. But-

”If we’re both sick, how do we have a life where we invite happiness in?”

Pausing for a moment verbally, he immediately shook his head in response.

”No, no, that’s… We’re… Both forgiven. Absolved. I… Lynette’s out of town. I went to see my Father. Where she really keeps him. And he was there, and I met with… With the Apparition. I asked questions I didn’t have the chance to ask before.” he admitted calmly.

”He knows. He says that… Jekyll communed with him. That there’s a high chance she really did know. That’s-”

He turned backward, pulling the laptop out.

”-why she had this open. To the first page of the instruction manual for the whole hive-world diorama machine. Page one. Not fifteen, not five hundred… One.”

He opened the laptop, and the PDF was sitting on the desktop in plain view. It didn’t even lock when it’d been closed, meaning whoever used the laptop was either a psycho, or had made some changes before leaving it where it was.

”I can only hope that he’s right. That she, and the others who seemed ready to die, really did know. And came to peace with it. Because ending all this crap will be that much better.”

Trisha shuffled a bit closer to look at the laptop screen, before finally properly looking up at him.

“I hope so too. It still wouldn’t make it fair… But at least they would’ve had peace. Not many people get to do that.” She said quietly.

She paused for a moment, hesitantly shuffling a bit closer again. She wasn’t sure if she could bring it back to them after he’d said that. But she had to, didn’t she. Even if they’d been absolved as he said, they still had to resolve everything between them. At least, figure out where to go. Because she wanted to try rather than pretend to be fine.

Even if it was difficult.

“It will be better when it’s all ended… But until then, we’ll need to keep struggling for our peace. And we’re going to… Try aren’t we? Really try. I-” She bit her lip.
“I don’t want to go back to how it was before… When we were pretending everything was fine, that is. Not before when everything was good, that was fine. Even if we’re forgiven that doesn’t mean we can just not do anything. I- I want to talk about it. I really want to try and be honest about it, even though that still terrifies me.”

Shaking his head in response, Casey tried to find the words to use when it came to the feeling of trying again.

”I’m scared. I don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to face your friends after the other day, never mind now. Knowing how it looks… I’m fucking ashamed. I’m still ashamed here and now, whether I understand that I’m forgiven or not. You… Know how you feel about being strong and all that? I’ve got the same feeling. And I’ve been incredibly weak this month. It’s shame. And I don’t know how to come back from that, or expect anyone to trust that I ever could. Because not everyone forgives.” he admitted strongly, shaking his head with his words.

“I can’t- Obviously I can’t get rid of your shame, even if I want to. Saying you don’t have to be strong doesn’t help, because it wouldn’t help me, so…” She frowned, carefully reaching out for his hands.

“I’m scared too. I’m always scared about what people will think… So I understand that it’s going to be hard if people don’t trust you like that. But I do and- and I’ll be here with you. Even if I’m weak too, and I can’t fully support you like I want to. We’ll work through it together as much as we can… That’s what I want… Even if it’s slow. I just-” She bit her lip.
“I don’t know. Saying nice words doesn’t help, does it? B-But if we don’t try, what else can we do?”

Casey nodded his head. It was clear in his face that he agreed.

”That’s what I really wanted to come into this with. That, y’know, whatever you want to try, we will. You did what I asked, and so far it hasn’t worked. All I can do is try my hardest. For you. And for us. And, y’know, stick it to ‘em. When we look back, we can say it’s something we worked out long ago.”

He hoped. There was no direct guarantee, but he knew there probably wasn’t anyone else he was even close to being willing to try with.

”I don’t know what to do to make it better either. Nothing else to do besides, I guess… Asking for things as bluntly as I can.”

He paused, mustering his courage.

”For right now, I feel like I can’t ask anything. Because I took our trust and I killed it in a fit of rage. So, frankly, I’m at your mercy. In my opinion.” he admitted as best he could hope to at the moment.

Trisha frowned, looking a little sad. She didn’t want him to feel like he was at her mercy… But she understood. And she should be honest in turn. Because she really wanted to try as hard as she could.

In a way, it was showing that she still did trust him… Because she was still opening up.

“I’m not going to lie… I am going to struggle to believe that you won’t leave me. I was beginning to really trust it… but it was fragile.” She hung her head slightly. Because it meant she’d taken steps backwards. She couldn’t entirely blame him, because it means the trust was easily broken. But she’d never ever had that trust before. Of course it was fragile.

“But I don’t want you to baby me because of that. I want you to comfort me if I need it, I want help- but not protected. Because I felt like that and- and look, I’m here. After two days apart…” She let out a shaky breath.
“I want to try… something that’ll mean changing for us both… Well, that makes it sound like something groundbreaking. I mean… I want you to ask for things bluntly like you said. Like, if you need alone time. But I want to be able to say ‘that’s makes me feel anxious, but alright’ without it making you think that I can’t handle it, or you’re doing something horrible. That’s just one example but… Like that. That’s what I came up with while thinking…”

Casey nodded his head again, patting her hand and waving his own in a rhythmic fashion.

”Right! Like that… Which brings me to my earlier point, uh… She’s dead soon. I hate to keep beating the horse here, but that’s got a lot of different feelings behind it. I’m certain you get that. And I don’t need to begin to explain to you how that makes me feel, or what I’ve had to make happen to ensure that it will. All that’s left is us leaving. It has to happen. So, there’s no escaping our vacation, and I’m gonna do my best to relax. But, I’m gonna be sad. And I’m gonna seem distant, maybe. But, ultimately, I want to go. And I want to be there with you.”

He bit his lip in anticipation, shaking his head and clearing his throat as he came back to the point.

”But I’m gonna need… Something. I have no idea what it is. I don’t. I wish I did, but I can’t conjure what I need to feel better about things. It’s like a knot that I can’t uncinch. It makes me feel worse about everything, but I can’t help being stuck in it. I’m standing in tar.”

He leaned in closer, practically crawling into her lap.

”I did miss you. Just because we were away from one another by choice doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you very badly. I knew if I had that time away, I’d get that feeling. Because I’ve been getting that feeling every time we were apart more than a night at a time last month. And instead of trusting my instinct and putting your feelings at risk, I jeopardized our entire relationship. I… Love you so much.” he added, looking up at her with a calm expression.

”I never meant for this to happen. But it did. And I’ll make it up to you. It can’t be right away. So I need your patience. I need your best on my bad days. And I’ll take yours in return.”

“I’ll be patient… And I’ll try my hardest to make sure you get my best on those days. I love you and I… really missed you too. A lot.” She leaned forward, arms loosely wrapping around him. She was still a bit nervous, even when he was the one that had closed the gap between them. She didn’t want to push and be clingy when he didn’t want that.

“We’ll try and figure out what you need… And even if we can’t, that’s alright. We’ll just keep dealing with it.” She had her own things that she didn’t know how to just fix, even if the effect on them wasn’t as major. Like her depressive episodes. It had been fine between them, but she never knew how to get herself out of them. It just happened.

But things felt better. She still felt anxious, because she couldn’t just get rid of that. Not after what happened. But they’d talked. Were talking. There was an understanding they could move forward with. That was good.

“For the vacation… It’s fine if you’re sad and distant, as long as you want to go. Just- my actual birthday… If you’re feeling bad, we might have to… Spend it apart.” It wasn’t something she wanted to say after promising to be patient, and hearing him talk about how much he missed and loved her. But it had been part of her thoughts. Another worry.

“It’s a bad day for me. I’m going to be anxious and upset. It’ll be worse if we set each other off. I’d rather… spend it how I always have.”

Casey shook his head, frowning widely as he tried to think of a world where he didn’t want to try.

”And if I try, but fail? What could I possibly do to recover from that? I’m so fucking scared. I don’t want to hurt you. It’s fucking killing me! I want you to feel like you can always count on me, because if you can’t, what makes me different or better than anyone else? What makes you like me?” he frowned.

”Then, obviously, you feel the same way dealing with me! You don’t know what I like about you, but there’s a billion things I can think of! So… We’ve gotta accept things between ourselves like that. I’ve really gotta work on it…”

Trisha nodded.
“We both do… I could start listing everything I like about you, if that’ll help?” She smiled slightly, a hint of playfulness in her eyes.

“Like you’ve done for me before. And if you try but fail… It’ll just be even harder the next year. You’ll have to try again. It won’t… Be the end of the world. It’s already a bad day for me…” It would end up worse if she had hope that it would be better, then it wasn’t. But she couldn’t easily say that without making him more scared.

“I do want to spend it with you, because just that would make it better. But I’m worried that if I’m in a bad mood, and I’m snappy, we might fight. I just don’t want to fight.”

He hugged around her legs, head nuzzling against her for a bit of comfort. It was easy to think that they wouldn’t fight, but what the fuck was the point of being together if they didn’t have special moments like that locked down? December twenty-sixth. Hell of a day to be born.

”Let’s not think about Christmas this year. Like, at all. We’ll just skip it. This year, it’s just your birthday that’s important. What do you think of that as a change?”

If it was just one day, he figured he could dedicate that entirely. Especially if it meant that he could have Christmas to do whatever. Whether she wanted to go out or not, he figured they were close enough to some prime hunting grounds that he could head out and just stalk. No time to qualify for a tag, after all.

“That sounds nice.” She said softly. It did, even if she was still worried about it. But if he was suggesting that, it must mean he thought they could make her birthday work. Christmas wasn’t a day she’d ever enjoyed either, but it wasn’t such a personal pain. Just another shitty family holiday.

“I’ve never really been fussed by Christmas. It’s like Thanksgiving… Another day I was forced to be around my family. I don’t care about celebrating it… Especially since I don’t have to be with them.” Though the Vanburen Christmases had dramatically reduced in size, it wasn’t more manageable when the one person always there was Tansy.

She leaned forward to kiss the top of his head, words muffled.
“Thank you… For being willing to do that. Oh, but… I’ll still be allowed to give you a present, won’t I?”

Casey shook his head in return, doing his best to blow past the initial feeling of wanting to please her in order to get to how he really felt about the matter.

”I’d rather you didn’t… But, it’s pretty late to tell you no if you’ve already got something planned. I… Guess I hate being fussed over as much as you do. It’s hard. I hate feeling like people are doing things for me, or because I’m involved in some way. It sucks. Being singled out.”

Even though this wasn’t the same case. It’s not like she was overly fussing in regards to the circumstance as much as he was overly sensitive toward the circumstance. It didn’t help that he was still jumpy like that, but they’d get through it.

”I shouldn’t say that I’d rather you wouldn’t. I’d feel better if we could focus on you, because it makes me feel weird telling you that we’ll focus on your birthday, but you still want me to get things. I guess I want to make you feel like a princess.”

Trisha nodded. She understood… Because she felt the same when it came to days where she’d want to focus on Casey. Not just his birthday when it came, but his bad days. It was a similar thing. Even if she didn’t feel like he had to focus solely on her, he said he wanted to. She didn’t want to deny him that.

It was just difficult when it was a gift she actually wanted to give him. Christmas was just the excuse for it, really.

“I can hold onto it, if you’d prefer that. I don’t mind… It just might be difficult to explain to Sylvie, but I’m sure I’ll find a way. And… Well, it could be useful. But I don’t want to give you a gift when you don’t want it. Especially not when I’ve talked about struggling to receive gifts too.” Though for her, it was gifts that felt obligatory. Not from a place of care.

“But it could be useful… What if it’s not a Christmas gift? Can I just give it to you, or will that feel the same?” She asked with quiet consideration.
“It would… sort of be for me too.”

Casey nodded his head and chuckled slightly as he thought about all the different holidays and days dedicated for special things.

”I wish I was better about them, but… It’s honestly a miracle I remember your birthday at all. I was thinking about that the other day. That I’d only ever remember our anniversary because it's on a holiday. And I feel like an idiot because of it. And I get worried you’ll think I don’t love you because I forget or something stupid. I hate the feeling…” he frowned, doing his best just to not tear up over it.

Trisha leaned forward to hug him again. It was difficult to hear that he might forget her birthday… Because it had been forgotten for so much of her life. But it wasn’t because he wanted to. He wanted to remember and do something for her. She could remind him. She could get through the anxiety it made her feel.

“I know you love me. It’ll hurt if you do ever forget on the day but… Now I know, so I’ll make sure to remind you. Just my birthday and our anniversary matter anyway…” She pulled back a bit, lips curving into a gentle smile.
“I guess we’ll just have to make sure to have our wedding on a holiday too. Maybe Easter? Oh, no, that changes doesn’t it. What other spring holidays are there… Valentine’s day? April fools day?”

Surprisingly, Casey nodded with a warm smile crossing his face. It was a day he was usually fond of: The rain, the melting snow, the new life blossoming from the ground wherever it could. Even the snap chills that shocked everything back into their holes. Those were often the best nights. And, it meant they would be able to skip the bullshit of the otherwise uselessly obtrusive day.

It was a little more bittersweet now, however. One of the biggest pranksters was gone. And she would’ve loved this being the plan. He didn’t really expect her to touch that nerve, and recognized immediately that it’d been a casual mistake. One he so easily made too. He tucked his head down slightly, but Trisha would’ve been able to see the sunshine that lingered from his initial impression die a rapid death as he moved.

He had to contemplate whether or not he could think about that right now. Maybe Easter would-

”G-od… Y’know, that little jerk made April First a fucking landmine day. Never knew what Gin was gonna do! F-f… Eh-m… That’ll probably be a good day. For me to remember. I usually paid attention to it, since, y’know I’ve always been pretty jumpy. Pranks don’t go over well. I figure you’re in the same boat? So, it’s great for us. We can ask people to be serious on our wedding day, and when we’re home alone we can just be romantic.” Casey did his best to stay positive, in spite of the fact that he was very clearly weeping once more. Not hard like before, but the mourning in his voice was clear once again.

Even if he could accept that she knew what was coming, and that she knew there was more at stake than herself, Casey had to grapple with exactly how much he loved her. When they were little, Gin was the first third wheel with Mia and Eddie. She was so close to the family, and Lynette loved her mother so dearly, that there were few times in his earliest memories that they weren’t there. Gin and Ed both understood Casey’s plight. They missed the early boats just like he did. Only, they stuck around. He probably would’ve become an Aberration too, if he hadn’t scrambled away to the only other option he had.

In a way of its own, that was guilt. A different kind of survivor’s guilt. And now it really stung, but all Casey could do was take heart where he could.

”I thi-i-nk… In a few years. It’ll be fine…”

His hand reached down to his pocket, pulling his phone out and sliding it toward Trisha without really looking up.

”N-ow that I’m… C-can you, p-pl-ease delete m-my texts with… With he-r and I-Igor? The-re’s a g-group chat a-and them bo-o-th individually… I c-can’t…”

Trisha nodded, silently taking the phone from him. She kept a hand over his, her thumb gently rubbing the back of it, while she worked his phone with the other. She knew his password, so it was easy to get into it. She navigated to his messages, deleting the individual messages from them both. When she came to the group chat, her brow furrowed slightly. Unread messages?

It was a simple link to a document filled with usernames and passwords. She had no idea what they were for… But she made sure to save the link in his phone before deleting the group chat too. Then, she removed their contacts.

“There you go. There was a document they left you, with usernames and passwords… I’ve saved it so you can look at it later.” Trisha said softly, handing Casey’s phone back to him.

At the same time, she moved forward, hesitating for a moment before wrapping her arms around him. If he didn’t want the physical comfort, he’d push her off… Probably. She didn’t know what else to do, after all. There was nothing she could say.

She probably looked cold to him with her lack of reaction. She hadn’t known Gin anywhere near as long as Casey did, but they’d become good friends in the last two months. She was sad… She just wasn’t the type to cry or scream over this kind of loss. The only time she had was with Martin, and that had been more the circumstances surrounding it. Maybe she was broken for that… Maybe she didn’t know how to grieve.

“We don’t have to think about the wedding date now… It just came to mind. We’ll see if it’s manageable when we get around to planning that kind of thing.” She continued gently, not wanting him to think she was upset at him for his sudden drop of mood again when she’d been talking about something that, to her, was positive. She wasn’t.

“Is there anything else I can do for you right now?” She meant practically, really. Like with the texts.

”W-what kind of wedding…? Y-you probably want the le-least obtrusive wedding we could, huh? N-nobody fussing over you?”

The question was simple, but at this point, he really did want to think about something that was positive. It was, and he knew Gin thought as much. She’d jokingly asked to get married with them more than once, and to Casey privately, she admitted that she wanted to be their flower girl. Which he’d have been more flattered by if he’d thought for one second they weren’t going to have the chance.

He knew to cherish a lot more things that were out of his reach now. It was a terrible sting. He’d not left business unfinished with anyone in the Portal Lab. But, Halcyon had so many faces he knew intimately… So many voices he heard daily. Missing them all now was a nightmare that he wouldn’t escape fully for quite some time. That face… That-

ABSOLUTION

Casey shuddered gently as he tuned back into Trisha’s voice.

“Mhm, you’re right… But I’m not going to avoid being fussed over if Cass is there, and she will be. Even if I don’t invite her.” Trisha said with a soft laugh, holding Casey and rubbing his back comfortingly. It was strange that trying to be here for him like this, focusing on comfort and talking about something positive, was helping with her own anxiety. Probably because he was still there, and wasn’t pushing her away.

“I want it to be small, obviously. I could fill a whole wedding hall with University acquaintances, but I don’t want that. I just want it to be people I’m- we’re- close to. I don’t know if I’d even do bridesmaids, because I feel like everyone I invited would end up as one.” It was a little sad to think of how few people she had in her life. Her four friends were the only ones she’d be inviting, since everyone else she was growing close to were part of Casey’s life too. Her friend group had been bigger, with a consistent group of ten of them, but she’d lost contact with the rest since graduating.

“We’ll put a no family ban and make Leon come as Cass’ partner, and Mia and Ed come as Hari’s.” She joked.
“I actually… Have a cousin I might want to invite. But I’m not sure if I can. If I pay for her to fly over, the whole family over in the Philippines will hound her about it for years. They’ll probably try and hound me too.”

She didn’t mean to bring possible family drama into it, it was just where her train of thought went. It was so small compared to everything else that was happening… So petty.

Casey nodded along as best he could while Trisha went over what her ideal was. In the end, he could only laugh about everything he’d expected.

”It’s s-so dumb now… Thinking about what I imagined as a kid. Mum made us watch their wedding later on. Lee was a baby. Big goth wedding, the Hunters were there, her tribe was there. The Richoux. I always thought I’d get that too. That there’d be a billion people on my side no matter what. I still want that. But, I’d probably turn into a mass murderer in the span of a weekend if we did. I’m not sure I’d cope at all.” he admitted through what sounded like incredibly frustrated tears.

”Fuck I wish we weren’t both like this… I wish that being around those people hadn’t ruined my brain forever.” he admitted, more in reference to the military than his own crazy family.

Trisha tilted her head. Did he just mean his family? Probably not, seeing as there was a variety of socialness in his siblings. Aside from Mia, the other three seemed adept at large social events. So it was probably a combination of that and the people in the military.

She had met some of them when they went for him to get officially discharged. Friendly enough, but she could tell it was just surface level. They didn’t have much of a filter like Casey, but were curter than him… She could see why that would change how he viewed large groups.

“I’m sorry we probably won’t get that.” She said softly, though she knew it wasn’t exactly her fault. But even if Casey could tolerate such a large event, she wouldn’t want it. Maybe if her whole upbringing had been different… But she felt like with a normal upbringing, she’d be more likely to be shy. Her family made her dislike massive groups, but she’d also forced herself into large social situations in pursuit of friendships or fleeting relationships. If she had a small, happy family she probably would’ve been content not exploring much outside of that.

“I’d say maybe time around other people will make your brain a little more tolerant of large events but… Even if it did, I don’t think anything would make me want a big wedding. Even if I had this massive group of people, I just… Don’t see how I could be so close to that many that I want them to share such a special day with me… Though I’d compromise, obviously.” Not that she felt it was likely to be a problem.
“It’s not even a specific wedding trauma for me… Honestly, we’re maybe lucky I want to have a wedding with other people at it at all. I’ve been to enough weddings for a lifetime.”

Clearing his throat, Casey thought about why he felt like he wanted something more showy.

”I feel… So dumb sometimes. Being jealous of Leon. The other night… The way he just… Was talking to everyone. I got so mad. He looked so happy, and I just… Hated it.” he spoke softly, embarrassed by the words alone.

”For a second, I wished that I could do what he was doing. Then, the next one, I was just pissed off that he felt okay. Like it was fun for him. And like he was taunting everyone, with how happy and excited he gets. But, it’s real. It’s just him, y’know? And I’m the evil one… I’m hateful, and I want to rub it in people’s face. Tell them that their shitty little worlds are full of garbage.”

He gritted his teeth, looking up at her.

”When you went to the bathroom? That third time, after I made the comment about the olives that didn’t go over well? I was talking to this woman, and she tried to get all fucking empathetic, and tell me about how her grandson passed away out East… And I just wanted to tell her, y’know, ‘I don’t give a fuck lady! Your son’s lucky! He doesn’t have to deal with you anymore!’ But, y’know, y’can’t say shit like that and I just looked at her and… Fucking stuck my tongue out at her. Didn’t answer, didn’t say anything, just stuck my tongue out until she got uncomfortable and walked away.”

Casey’s face was full of terrible shame and apathy all at once.

”Because I just couldn’t deal with it. She was just droning on and on, and her son probably died an awful death. And I couldn’t possibly bring myself to care how that made her feel! Because, y’know, the kid’s fucking dead! He’s been dead for like four years now! But it’s her kid, and she’ll never forget him! But, fuck, y’know? Y’know how many kids I saw die horrifically? Fucking… Done the killing? Everyone always tries to relate through pain, but the real pain’s taking the life in front of you, it’s-”

Stopping himself short, he looked at Trisha fully with his bottom lip pouting before crawling back into her lap. Positive. Positive.

”-D-do you want us to share vows?” he tried to move on.

“Hmm?” Trisha’s eyes widened slightly, feeling like she had whiplash from the topic change. It was difficult to hear him get like that… She wanted to tell him that she was glad he wasn’t like Leon. Because if he was, she wouldn’t like him like this. But he was talking about one of Leon’s good qualities. She understood… She was jealous of Cass too, sometimes. At least they weren’t related, so there was no chance she could’ve ended up like her.

What could she say about the second thing as well? She didn’t think he was wrong to act like that… But it probably wasn’t what he wanted to hear. And she didn’t understand. Couldn’t, when she hadn’t gone through it. She wanted to try and put a balm on it all and say that it was alright for him to be like that, but who was she to say that? If he wasn’t happy about it, her telling him it was alright would just make things worse.

“Do you mean now, or at our wedding? I’d like to share vows then… It would be nice, I think. Not just doing the traditional ‘in sickness and health’ and all that, but something we both write.” She seemed to move on with him, before backtracking a bit. She couldn’t just let go of everything he’d said.

She leaned forward to press a kiss against his head, hugging around him.
“Also… You’re not evil. Maybe hateful in that moment, but not evil. Your feelings came from a place of pain, after all.”

So far, he hadn’t put forth any particular vibes that he wanted her gone. She could probably feel him lean into her just a little bit more when she did get close. He wanted the touch. That was comforting. The talking right now was too, at least. But, it was hard to avoid wanting to fight over how he felt. There was a gut reaction that came with being told what he was or wasn’t. There was more than enough trauma with the topic as a whole, and feeling like Trisha was feeding into that made him anxious.

”It feels evil. But, everything’s gonna feel evil right now. Talking about our future feels evil, even though I know it isn’t. It… Makes me wanna fight about it. So, I’m… Not fighting you. And I’m not pushing it either. I’m gonna verbally accept that you’re being good to me, and accept that in a normal mindset, I’d agree with you. And that I wouldn’t judge someone else for feeling the way I do.”

He cleared his throat, one hand reaching up to take Trisha’s in a desperate way.

”I love you… Thank you f-for being here.”

Trisha nodded, managing to understand what he was getting at. He couldn’t agree with her right now… It made her anxious that she said something that made him want to fight, even if he wasn’t going to. It meant she’d said something wrong without meaning to. She just had to be more careful and learn from it. Especially for when he was having really bad days, and probably wouldn’t be able to stop himself.

“I love you too. Of course I’m here.” She managed a smile, squeezing the hand clinging to hers. She couldn’t say she was in a good place, but she wasn’t as close to panicking as she had been for the last week. Because he was here and he wasn’t pushing her away… It would be harder when he needed more alone time, or wasn’t so affectionate. But he was here right now. Even though she really hadn’t thought he would be. It had felt like it was all over-

“I don’t want to fight, so I’ll try not to say something like that right now.” She continued, head tilting so she was resting her cheek against the top of his head.
“I, uh, appreciate you saying all’ve that. It helps me understand without making me more anxious.”

She really did, and she could be honest about it. So he felt appreciated. It was a lot of honesty today. Maybe because she’d been so scared he’d be gone. She was always able to be honest in those moments… She didn’t want to go back to that. If forcing herself to talk really helped, she would. Could. She was here. He was here. They were both here.

“You didn’t answer the questions about our vows… N-now or at the wedding?” As she spoke, Casey would feel a wetness against his head, and she sniffed. With the way her voice immediately wavered as well, she knew she couldn’t hide her sudden tears.
“S-sorry, nothing you said, j-just thinking about things… I’m alright.”

Casey nodded his head gently, only looking up at her when he realized there were tears to go along with the sniffle. But, he had to trust that she was being honest.

”I meant at our wedding, yeah… W-what’s got you bothered, Honey? I know, I’m kinda putting a lot on you here… I don’t mean to, it ain’t- Well, I… It’s alright, y’know? I’m here talking. So are you! You can, you can, your problems aren’t small because they’re mine too, right?” he did his best to offer her that kind of comfort. That same kind of codependent comfort that he’d been there to give her before…

“It’s because you’re here.” She sniffed, removing one arm from around him to wipe her eyes. She then shook her head, realising the immediate response made it sound like him being there was a bad thing.

“I- I mean, I’m relieved. I was so scared that you wouldn’t come back. I- I really thought you wouldn’t, or you’d try to make me leave again and- I- I know we already talked about it. I just think it-it’s hitting me now. L-like it really hit me when you said ‘thank you for being here.’ And- and I’ve been trying to suppress it all, s-so maybe this is just it all coming out. I d-dunno. I was so scared.” She trembled slightly, breathing through a heavier sob. It was like the floodgates had opened… But she didn’t feel as horrible as she had in the aftermath of him leaving that evening, when she’d suffered hours of panic attacks and breakdowns.

“I th-think I just need to cry it out… Maybe…”

Casey didn’t move any great deal, rather just holding her as tightly as he could from that position. He was happy to double as a comforting stuffed animal for the moment as he nodded along gently.

”It’s alright, Honey… We can both do it. Okay? I’m… I’m here. And I know how wrong it was, what I said. How I felt. It… Hurt you. You deserve to feel sad too! B-but, be as strong as you want, y’know? It’s… It’s gonna be alright no matter what! I’m not goin’ anywhere!” Casey quietly wept, shaking his head as he turned to look upward.

He did his best to smile, but at the same time couldn’t even come close to hiding that he was crying too. Part of it was elation. Part was frustration at himself. But either way, there was no getting around it in this exact moment. They could only be together with that feeling caught in the middle.

”I l-love you!”

“I love y-you too.” Trisha choked out around her sobs, curling forward and around him. She was relieved as much as she was still scared. Because what if she really did lose him… What if next time it was real? She loved him so much, and that truly terrified her. She couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else.

She was sad about it. It had hurt her, and hit so many triggers that she had. It hurt more because it was him. She didn’t hold it against him in any resentful way, but her confidence had been shattered. It meant her anxiety around abandonment was closer to how it had been when they met… That made her sad too.

But he was here. He was here, and she could get it back. She’d made the progress in the first place. He said he’d make up for the hurt when he could. It was alright. It really was alright.

“I’m alright… It’s really alright.” She spoke again after minutes just crying and hugging into him. Her voice was still shaky, but the tears were beginning to stop. It hadn’t lasted long, at least. It left her feeling strange. Relieved but still anxious at the same time. But when wasn’t she anxious? Only when both her and Casey were at their best.

“If you’re not going anywhere… Are you staying today? Or do you need more alone time?” She tried to ask as calmly as she could, not wanting to imply that she was taking it to mean he’d always be there. But at this moment he wasn’t going anywhere, right?

“Obviously, I’d like to spend the day with you. But if that’s too much… Some of the new types of bees will be… born today. I’d like to show you them, at least.”

Every little instance reminding him of his mistake drove him crazy. It wasn’t her fault, but she was painfully in his face about it in spite of everything. But, she was asking out of genuine care. It was the same as others who tried to give him similar courtesies that he took as insults. The other night, even; at Cass’ party. He’d only gotten angry in the first place because he felt like he was being condescended to. But, the “culprit” had only been asking genuine questions. He’d never once known that guy to condescend to anyone. The smile had been joy, that after so many years he was seeing Casey again.

And he’d ruined that over a personal perception. Over seeing smugness where happiness lived. He’d done the same thing before. He’d maybe even do it again! He couldn’t trust himself enough to begin imagining that she could. So, at least he wasn’t shocked about her wanting him close.

”God, even if I fuckin’ hated you, I’d want to be around to see the bees today. I did a lot of mental pushing last night, especially with how we’re gonna be going away soon. It’s really just, y’know… Down to the guilt I’m still feeling. Like you said, maybe she did know. But even if that’s the case, that’s just fuckin’ tragic. And part of it wishes we were here to see it all through, because I want revenge. I don’t think a little camping trip is gonna take me away from that. Only focusing on you will, I’m assuming. We’ll put the theory to the test this week. Right? I’ve… Well, I…-”

He paused, starting to choke up a bit again as he considered what he was about to talk about. He did feel like a monster, but he’d had the thought of distracting himself after talking with Norm a few hours after the raid. And Trisha was the only thing he could possibly be distracted by. So he let his imagination run wild with things to do in the area they were headed. There were local shops, a brewery, and plenty of natural surroundings. It was supposed to snow around Christmas, so there was a good chance they’d be able to rent some machines.

Maybe just one… He didn’t imagine Trisha really handling one of those big Ski-Bidi snowmobiles. Even he didn’t care for them a great amount, but out on a frozen lake, they were incredible.

”-I f-fucking… Made a bunch of plans for us. Not so many, but… Something we can do just about every day. I left your birthday open for whatever you want, if that’s okay? If you… Y’know, can think of anything? I’m sure you’re just like ‘Oh lets just stay in’ but, I can honestly just tell you where we’re goin’ and you can find something you wanna do. We’ll even go back to fuckin’ Denver if there’s something there you wanna do.”

Casey was right that her first thought was just staying in. But it would probably be better to do something. Even if it was just a small trip, something to get them out and make it different from most of her other birthdays. It would be nice to do something. Though, she would have to take a look at what there was nearby to decide.

“I like that you’ve made plans for us. It’d be nice to do something on my birthday too. Where are we going? I can start guessing since you’ve mentioned Denver, but you’re making it sound like it’s not close… ” She said, looking thoughtful.

She hoped he was right about his theory that focusing on her would help distract him. It felt selfish to hope, but it would be better for him too. Better for them both. Hearing that stopped her from getting tense for the word hated being used, even if it was in an if statement. He didn’t hate her. And her being a distraction was a good thing, because it meant he enjoyed time with her enough that everything else faded away. There was no need to get anxious about if it didn’t work out, and she wasn’t enough.

“I need to know anyway, because I need to pack. I’ll… Need to start doing that today, I think. We’re going in two days and I take so long to decide what I need… Unless you want to watch me, you’ll have to tell me what we’re doing too. Or at least, what kind of clothes I need. But, uh, yeah… If I know where we’re going I’ll look for something for my birthday too.”

”I can magic your wardrobe in your pocket, don’t… I’m not going crazy for this. Maybe I am. I want to just use my magic. I don’t want to try too hard for this. Take whatever bag you want, I’ll hook it up to the dresser upstairs. We teleport into Denver on Friday Morning. We check into the resort at two in the afternoon, which gives us enough time to stop at the Frozen Bull on the way out to Mannard. It’s the nearest big town to a piece of property I want to look at, and the Frozen Bull is the local diner. We went once, between when I finished Basic for the Army and shipped back out with the other Supernaturals. I remember it being awesome, and if we’re gonna be living near there, I’d like for them to see my face.”

Casey had pulled his phone out, and had started to twist in Trisha’s arms so that she could see his screen. He’d been looking at the map, and pulled it out to stretch the distance out to their entire trip. Fourteen hundred miles. Twenty hours of driving. But focusing on Denver itself, there was a two hour trip between the areas, punctuated by a world of lush forests and protected wildlands. Their destination was a town in the middle of the Rockies. Some of the highest peaks in America, there were few places Casey could think of more peaceful than being up there.

”It’s definitely gonna be cold. So, we’ll dress warm. We’re getting dropped off at the airport, so we’ll get our return tickets then, and get set up with a rental car for our time. I’d kinda like to keep what I’ve got planned for out there as a little bit of a surprise, but I’m not just attracted to this place because it’s out of the way. There’s plenty of magic out there for us. People who’ll understand without prying.” he added, hoping that she’d be excited with what she heard well enough.

Trisha peered over at his phone, watching as he showed where they were going and where they'd be travelling. Once he was done she reached out to zoom in on the surrounding area, looking around where they were staying. Aside from the small town, there was no civilisation for miles. But there were various natural landmarks. It looked nice. Peaceful.

“I’ve never been to the Rockies. That sounds nice." She said, smiling softly down at him. She realised that was pretty obvious after she said that… Because she'd told him she really hadn't travelled. She'd only been to Chicago for University, and the Boston area when staying with her mom.

She stopped looking around the map to lean her face closer to his, smile widening. She was excited, around all her anxiety. It would be their first holiday together. Just the two of them, with less directly around them to impact their moods.

“Alright, I'll let you keep your secrets." She teased, rubbing her nose against his before pulling back a bit.
“I’ll make sure to bundle up warm and be ready for anything. I trust you, I know you won't drag me on anything I wouldn't want to do… like a two day intense hike up a snow covered mountain. Otherwise, I think I'm willing to try anything. With you. And the diner sounds nice. It'll be good to know somewhere local for the future."

She looked back at the map.
“I’ll find something I want to do for my birthday. I'd say something simple like a birthday picnic somewhere that looks nice, but I feel like it'll be too cold for something like that."

Nodding, she continued to ask.
“What kind of magic are we talking about? Just other magical people? Or… Is that one of the things you want to keep a surprise?"

There was a reason they’d made their way out to this little town all those years ago. The crew he’d tacked himself onto in Basic were a group of Adepts all enlisted from and living in this same town. Most people, he found, who came from small towns tended to besmirch their childhood homes, relegating them to the category of uninteresting or downright traumatic. Which made Mannard unique in a rather abstract way to Casey: These guys had nothing but good things to say about the place.

Contrarily, they seemed ecstatic when they’d been approved for a furlough back home. Excited enough that they accepted Casey’s request to come along, and showed him that the town itself was more than it seemed.

”From what I was told, a few different Covens bought properties independently before the township was established. When they came together, they decided to just hook up together permanently. Because of where it is, and how it’s got pretty much nothing, normal people don’t go out there and settle down. Five or six hundred people in the whole town, and the only non-magical people are the ones who just don’t kindle. And nobody forces them to, or makes them leave if they refuse. They take care of their neighbors, defend their properties from roving Apparitions, and only a few still bother going to Church on Sundays… Which I think is still comforting? To me, magical people going to normal church is… Pretty cute.” he admitted, talking about the town before refocusing.

”That being said, I wouldn’t worry about the quality of your bundling. I can compensate no matter what. Winterizing clothes was a basic skill to learn. I had to do the opposite in Africa, so I got used to insulating both ways.”

“So I don’t have to wear so many layers I turn into a ball?” Trisha giggled softly, one arm curving out around her to imitate the shape. It was nice that she didn't have to worry much about mundane things in that way- packing and dressing perfectly for the weather. Though she didn’t want to just rely on Casey’s magic.

“It sounds like an interesting town. I’m surprised anyone could go to church after knowing about magic but… I didn’t believe even when I was a kid who didn’t know about the magical world, so I guess I’ll never understand. It is pretty cute some of them still believe.” She nodded.

Was that why he was thinking about property nearby too? Because there’d already be a magical community within travelling distance? She assumed he wasn’t thinking about living in the town. He’d talked about getting a large bit of land and everything. But she could understand wanting to be nearby, even if the thought of such a large magical presence made her a bit nervous. That was just her shitty experience talking, though. Very little good experience with magical groups.

“I’m looking forward to seeing a magical community like that. I guess a community like that at all… The whole taking care of your neighbour thing too. Where I’m from, the neighbours compete to have the most well maintained lawn.” She shrugged with another laugh.
“It sounds nice… They’re not going to be too nosy about visitors, are they? I guess they can’t be if they have a resort nearby… How does that work when there’s non magical visitors? Uh, hypothetically, I assume you don’t have the answer to that.”

Casey laughed as she recognized the chance for him to not know the answer.

”I mean, the visitors are more than likely out there for peace, right? The main resort is strictly for mundanes, and then there’s other places where Supernaturals can at least stretch our legs. Usually, the rule is that our community yields to greater society, right? It’s only in cities like ours where the magical community starts to become predatory. Because space and resources are so tight, there’s just reason after reason for us to take and take. But out there? Everyone’s got what they need, pretty much. No need to fight. No need to be super nosy.” he did his best to extrapolate the thought process as to why they weren’t worried about Blinds.

”Though, I think some of them do still get into wars over whose property is better maintained. But, it’s a point of pride thing that you participate in. Not, y’know, some small scale socio-political warfare scenario wrapped up in friendly ‘competition’.” he added, sarcasm dripping in his voice.

Trisha nodded with a laugh. It was hard for her to imagine, honestly. Her whole life had been filled with friendly ‘competition’. From competing for their Dads attention, to Tansy’s constant attempts to steal their partners, to the comparisons with her much smarter cousin back in the Philippines. It was everywhere in her life, and most of what she’d witnessed. Even in high school… With all the cliques. She only escaped it somewhat in University.

“Mmm, so they don’t all secretly hate each other? That sounds nice.”

”Woah, don’t get ahead of yourself. I’ve got no clue about their secrets.” he giggled, hoping that their secret world of internecine warfare wasn’t the case.

“You don’t? What use are you then? I wanted all the town gossip.” Trisha joked with a little mock gasp, giggling with him. She curled forward, pressing her face into his hair and rubbing back and forth.

“If the main resort is Blinds only, where are we staying? Do they have a special magic proofed building?”

”There’s three. The property’s like eight-hundred acres, so… They’ve got the main building out front for all the normies. They’ve got the event space building out-”
He paused for a moment, pulling up the website for the place which had its own property map. Pointing at a large field, there was an equally large octagon surrounded by other triangle shaped structures. Clearly the simplified design of a sun.

”-here. It’s a main stage, and a covered concert hall basically, with concessions or other shit in the outer buildings. They’ve got drapes and barriers they can set up that are seriously crazy magic, and will like… Block sound, and vision. Anyway, there’s that. Then,-”

He moved the map to another large facility by a lake further on the property.

”-this is the secondary building for visitors. Payment is a lot more flexible and tailored to the visitor, since they’ve got staff who edit the rooms at a pretty rapid pace. You can get something cheap, and they’ll put you up in a broom closet, or you can get something luxurious. I think there’s a hundred and fifty permanent residents there, staff not included. But, I figured that wasn’t what we’d want. So,-”

He kept scrolling past, to the other side of the lake and further on into deep woods. There was a road, at least, that seemed to climb a hill until the trees thinned. Along the way, little structures dotted the road, set back sometimes hundreds of feet into the woods. Finally he settled on one whose driveway started in a rocky clearing, curling around the bend of a hill and disappearing into some of the thickest woods around it. The map said there was a cabin in there, but one couldn’t see it from the overhead view the map provided.

”-I kind of went for the same idea as when we stayed on the island last month. Private, out of the way space. You can’t tell from the angle, but the person I talked to on the phone said this cabin’s the best, because it’s on an overlook where the treeline cuts off. So, you can basically see clear across Eastern Colorado. The windows are all magical too, so you can do things like zoom in. It’s… A two story cottage, fully furnished. Magical connection to amenities, everything’s totally on demand. You’ll be able to access the internet and everything in the case we’re stuck doing nothing for a day.” he joked.

“Oh, good, I’m not sure I can survive without the internet. I’m practically addicted.” Trisha responded sarcastically, with a smile. It was good to know, though. It meant she didn’t have to bring loads of books to fill any time… Especially if their sleeping, or lack of, continued.

“That sounds really nice. I like how out of the way it is. We don’t have to interact with other people unless we want to, but it sounds like we’ll have plenty of space too. I hope they have a nicely placed bathroom, so we can enjoy a hot bath with an even nicer view again. Or just relax with a book looking out at it. It sounds… pretty perfect.”

She leaned forward again to press a soft kiss against his lips, before smiling warmly at him.
“Thank you for organising it all… I did it a while ago, but I appreciate it. I’m looking forward to it.”

Casey nodded, returning her gentle kiss and nuzzling her as he accepted the praise. They were both good at planning, thankfully. Anything they ever did in their lives together would, at least, be organized.

”I can show you pictures they sent me of the inside.”

Maybe she’d forget, or maybe Trisha would take heed that he did not verbally agree that he was looking forward to it. He was, but not in the same way Trisha was. He couldn’t. He could look forward to little tender moments, the fabled golden chain of memories meant to carry him to the next good time already bent and torn at previous links. He could hope that the plan went off without a hitch.

But, was he looking forward to leaving when there were ulterior motives to it besides celebrating Trisha’s life? No! Did he feel like he deserved even an ounce of the happiness that he’d probably inadvertently experience from simply being in that place with her? Absolutely not. But he’d be there… And he’d do his best not to rob either of them of the pleasure that they’d be able to find, or the comfort they’d be able to take, all the way up in the mountains.

Recollections: Primal Sinister

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Interactions: Paloma @Atrophy & Destiny @Evil Ghost Note
Thursday November 24th, The Hollow Tap

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”I can hear you, y’know.” Vin rolled their eyes at Paloma as she lowered her voice, as if Vin was far enough to miss anything she said. Nevermind their slightly enhanced hearing.

Not that they really cared about being pointed towards people to fight. They needed little convincing to do that… Only exceptions being Hollow members, and family. It was the other irritatingly high pitched squeals that came out of Paloma’s mouth that they felt they actually had to address. Because like hell were they letting her take their silence as agreement.

”We ain’t gonna figure out who’s daddy cause we ain’t adoptin’ her. You can’t just pick up any kid off the street, fuckin’ hell! Ain’t like you earn enough on your-” Vin cut themselves off, throwing a hand in the air in frustration. They were talking as if it was a possibility if Paloma earned enough to support a child- which it absolutely was not! They weren’t in the market for adopting whatever orphan looked the saddest, especially not with the annoying woman they’d met a few days ago.

”Not happening.” They folded their arms, glowering at Paloma before slowly turning their gaze back to the child. It was calculating, but softer- in that they weren’t glaring anymore. There was something strange about the girl. Not just because she acted mature for her age- that kind of kid was dime a dozen in this city. Most of ‘em had to grow up fast.

Vin had to. If they hadn’t, Loni would’ve ended up in a much worse place than a North Side strip club… And Vin themselves would probably be dead in the streets. Innocent children didn’t survive the streets. Most didn’t have a chance to keep that innocence anyway. Vin had witnessed violence themselves from a young age- from the way their ‘Father’ treated their Mom, to gang members breaking people’s kneecaps and the police brutalising criminals and innocents alike. They’d been on the receiving end plenty. Seen plenty of friends arrested, or killed. They’d had to fight and kill just to survive, and to get rid of anyone that’d harm their softer twin and her adorable daughter.

Maybe the ‘softness’ they showed towards children (that Paloma had annoyingly pointed out) came because they wanted to be what they’d never had. Nothing noble like a protector or some shit, but a mentor at least. Help kids survive all the shit this world throws at them. They hadn’t found anything like that until they joined the Hollow, and by then it was far too late.

But this kid was different. Magic, as they’d already guessed. But it was more than that. Their senses were heightened, and they could feel a tingling wrongness, but had no idea why. That was what made them suspicious. Most kids this age either hadn’t kindled, or barely had. They didn’t have control. But they could sense she was casting something- so used to battling other Paranormals- just not what.

They’d find out.

”I’m teachin’. Let’s-” They paused, turning their head back towards the door. Fuck. Gideon had made his way back to the door, so he’d see if Vin tried to slip off into a back room to teach a kid how to fight. It also meant Marco must be lurking somewhere, though Vin couldn’t see him. But they knew the moment they did something ‘wrong’ the bastard would pop up and start berating them.

”Start properly tomorrow. I ain’t free to just fuck off, technically I’m part’ve security- and I ain’t gonna be in much shape to teach if the boss catches me skippin’ and gives me a beatin’.” They grinned, almost seeming excited by the prospect. It was fun when they got to spar with Gideon. Less so when they were getting taught a lesson. Gideon was a good boss who treated them all like family, so while he was ruthless with his enemies he didn’t tend to use violence within the ranks for anything less than betrayal. It was just that Vin didn’t respond to any talking tos when they first joined. Stern words meant nothing. Only fists got through in their world of violence, to ironically make them curb back their own violent impulses.

”You’re small, so you’re gonna have to learn where to target. Probably so y’can run, but it ain’t like small means weak. And luckily for you, I was takin’ out assholes double my size at your age. I ain’t forgot what it’s like to not have the strength I got now. But-” They looked Destiny up and down. ”You ain’t gonna be survivin’ the training when you look like a breeze’d knock you over. You ate yet? Shit’s pretty good, and it’s actually hot.”

Whether the kid ate or not didn’t particularly matter to them. They just knew that most around these parts didn’t get all the meals they needed- and that was a fainting risk. They’d probably already get Marco nagging them for agreeing to teach a kid, nevermind if she fainted.

”Oh, right. Loudmouth over here already said my name-” Vin jerked their head towards Paloma. ”But I’m Vin. What’s your name, kid?”

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Casey’s eye twitched rapidly, his hand screwed tight to the glove in his sweater pocket as he drilled his mind through the building in order to sit in the kitchen of Leon’s apartment like a termite in the wall with a laser microphone. Of course, they had to be the topic. It’d been nice of Leon to think about them, but the whole thing was starting to get a bit out of control. Casey ultimately had to do some logistical work involving the party late that night, and so a bit of juice ended up being used in order to make sure he’d keep from rotting away another few nights.

It didn’t replace sleep, just amped the focus back up to eleven. Not so different from speed, he figured. -But, whatever Trisha didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her.- Point being that Leon had decided that hour was a great time to have a big brother sit down. Because of course he had to ask about what the call was for. Casey figured he’d get off his back with some honesty, and told him exactly how he felt about being looked after like that. It was incredibly considerate! And in a lot of ways, it made Casey feel like dogshit.

He hated nothing more than being doted on and cause of concern. As soon as it started, the first thing everyone did was start locking their lockers tighter, or just checking on him. Like he wasn’t just another person. Like he was some gun that had to be kept in the safe with the bullets in a separate safe. Like he was nuclear.
It certainly made him feel that way. And, call him paranoid, but here they were. Reyna was fussing over Trisha, Leon had to say the words he would never hurt her physically. Like the distinction needed to be made. Like he didn’t love her. Like it was all bullshit and Trisha needed to be protected by her fucking ex.

They didn’t need people that concerned about them. They were fine!

”Honey Bee?” he questioned, looking down at Trisha with a grim expression on his face.
”We need to be extra good today. Like, stellar. We… Can’t show weakness. Right? We’re gonna be the fucking best, it’s gonna be great, and we’re gonna prove these assholes wrong, right!?”

He was asking her questions from a conversation he already had. Only, it hadn’t been out loud. So, saying something like prove these assholes wrong should’ve been an immediate cause for concern.

“Huh?" Trisha looked up at him, eyes going slightly wide. She didn't want to show weakness, obviously. She wanted everything to appear perfect so she didn't have people asking questions or starting to tell her Casey was just another bad decision she'd made. He wasn't. Things got difficult in relationships, what mattered was that they got through it.

She was already anxious about it all. Her anxiety had peaked again last night, nothing to stop her spiralling when Casey had to go work. She hadn't really slept, with carefully applied makeup doing some heavy lifting when it came to covering the dark bags under her eyes. How could she sleep without him there? But it was difficult when he was there too, because Casey wasn't sleeping either.

So why was he saying this, when she was clearly prepared to do just that? Like she needed to be reminded? But she didn't. She knew she had to act like everything was great, because she didn't want to deal with her friends prodding her, and she didn't want to set Casey off. The only silver lining of the time alone last night was that it let her get some of it out. A breakdown and panic attack before she suppressed it all again. She was absolutely ready to push down all of her feelings.

Apart from the anxiety, obviously. It was every present and the paranoia with it was what let her cover everything else up.

But in the moment leading up to seeing other people, she was more on edge. Now Casey was asking her strange questions. What assholes did they have to prove wrong? What-

“Are you spying on them, Casey?" She asked back, voice pitching up as her panic rose to the surface.
“You said you wouldn't do stuff like that… And it's not helping me. Knowing they're talking behind my back just makes me more anxious."

”But they are! They are! And Reyna thinks I hit you!-”
He paused briefly, sorting his thoughts out and holding up his hands.
”-Or, it was implied! Leon had to say ’Uh, he’d never physically hurt her!’ ”Can you believe this!? He’s expecting me to just sit there and accept what he’s saying to me when things like that are getting said behind my back!? I’m paranoid for a fucking reason. I’m sorry! But when I’m right, I know I’m right. That feeling saved me way more than fucking once.”

He wasn’t talking loudly, but he was certainly animated, and very clearly frustrated. It wasn’t easy dealing with this sensation at the moment. He was going to be high- That’s simply what the magical drug did. Another forty-eight hours of circadian free living. All at the cost of your sanity. Even if he wanted to go and get his memories scrubbed by a Pink Adept, he couldn’t. The substance in question was Apparitionally sound, and it trapped everything at the direct front of the brain, where you had to keep living in it. Last night was the first night. He hoped it was the only one he needed. Natural sleep deprivation was hard enough, even with his pedigree and previous training. It was a difficult thing to stave off.

This was simply the manifestation of all of the memories being there still. Everything was so fresh. It was all being crammed into the same space.

He didn’t have time to wonder if there was a connection between his frequent lack of sleep in previous years, and a correlation with his sleeping patterns.

He had an argument to start.

”Listen, that type of talk is just how we used to do shit! You can’t just go risk your life in the fucking cold, you need a moment of warmth before it. You need to muster, I thought we would just do that! We can’t do that!?” he asked rather sharply.

Trisha clasped her hands tightly in front of her to hide their trembling. She shook her head, eyes narrowing as she stared up at him. Frustration and panic mixed together in her chest. None of this was helping her. It was only confirming the paranoia she felt about everyone in her life showing her a nice face while talking shit about her behind her back. Of course they did, of course they thought she'd landed herself in a bad situation again.

But surely Cass and Leon knew better?!

“Spying on people isn't mustering! It's not helping! They're not going to kill us… But how does any of this help? It's just going to make us worse when we go in." She argued back, breathing quickening. She wasn't shouting either, but it would be impossible to miss her own frustration and panic over the situation. She'd been doing her best to keep a lid on things, but it was impossible when Casey was acting like this. He was practically forcing her into an argument.

This time, it made her want to run away and curl up into a ball. But she couldn't. They were trapped in the elevator, and had to get out and pretend everything was perfect again. And they were fine when he wasn't listening into conversations he shouldn't be.

“Even if Reyna thinks that, what- What difference does it make? Are you going to go in and shout at her about it? Because now I'm going to be worrying the whole time about what they think… And I was already anxious."

”No, I won’t! I didn’t shout at Leon yesterday morning. I didn’t shout at him last night when he trapped me in my office.-”

In the strictest sense, that he’d taken a seat in front of the desk.

”-And I’m not going to shout at anyone else. I’m sorry. Just… I’m… Fuck. Can… We hug it out, Trish, I’m sorry.”

He really had just wanted to know what they were up against. It was only then that he had the clarity to not think about it like it was an engagement to examine. He wondered if Leon or Reyna knew that they were being watched. He’d cut the spell the moment he couldn’t stand it anymore, and hadn’t looked back.

”Leon came in last night, and he just started talking like he used to, like I’m… Sick or something. I am, but he doesn’t have to treat me like it. I know I am. I can feel it right now. But you’re the love of my life, and on my fucking body and soul I just knew he was gonna act like this. And it makes me sad! That’s all. I wanted some comfort. I didn’t vocalize that. It’s not your fault, so please don’t think it is. I know I’m the asshole. Several times.”

What was, to him, a proper, if not informal, explanation of himself. The truth, just like she’d asked. He gave it freely, and she’d never be able to tell him he wasn’t being honest again.

So long as she didn’t know what she didn’t know.

Trisha took a deep, shaky breath, and gave a slight nod. She shuffled towards him, tearing her hands away from the tight ball they were clasped in to stretch her arms out towards him. To hug it out, like he'd asked for.

She didn't want to argue with him. She was trying not to, trying to just push down her own reactivity so she could help him get through this. But it was so hard when his mood changed so much. She was constantly waiting for an escalation. Then it seemed like it was coming, and he'd dropped back down. It was like she was on a rollercoaster. Her anxiety didn't just calm down like that. It just got worse every time.

Maybe it would be easier if he just went for that alone time he'd wanted when this first start. No… No, she didn't want that. That would be worse, she could handle this.

“I’m sorry too, I just… You know what I think people think about me. So hearing that they're talking behind my- our backs just made me panic. Because now I need to deal with that anxiety, and I know it's real." She bit her lip. It was probably an overreaction on her part, when he was the one being talked about more negatively. At least, Reyna was worried about him hitting her… Which would never happen.

“I understand. He's acting like he knows better than you, and like… We both need to be looked after. But we don't. And I don't like my friends sticking their nose into it either, just because they don't trust me. You don't deserve to be talked about like that… Not when you love me. And I love you."

”I at least appreciate Rey’s position. Please, don’t misunderstand. She’s got plenty of reasons to be protective of you, and she never said anything about you or us really. Leon overexplained shit. But, I also don’t want you to go and blame him, because I’m sure deep down he’s stressed about things too. It’s keeping us all up.”

The sex kept those two perverts up.

Something else he couldn’t say, but desperately wanted to, was that he now felt terribly inadequate compared to last time. He felt like a slathering mess. He was, but even in the paranoia he was a cobbled golem. A great deal of the time he could crack his mouth open just wide enough to appear pleased, and focus his eyes incredibly tight on theirs. Which, if they noticed he wasn’t blinking, may end up being a dead giveaway that something was wrong.

Nothing. Is. Wrong.

And nothing was. Casey’s jaw clenched slightly, and he looked down at Trisha. And he mustered the last moment he could. It was recent, which was nice. If he could string these small, good moments together and keep them tight in a chain at the forefront of his brain, he’d be able to wrangle all the pain in between. He’d be able to stretch. Thanks to her. So he looked down at her, and one arm turned into both arms as the elevator doors slid open into the makeshift garden.

It smelled terribly like weed.
Because it was.

And it made him laugh.

”Holy shit, maybe we should take some of this. I’ll break their room open, that’s where they keep the jars that are done.” he grinned down at her as if offering.

Trisha managed a soft laugh, lips pulling up into something closer to a smile as she did her best to calm down. It was still easier with him there. She still felt safe with him. She was sure she always would, even when things were difficult.

She wasn't entirely sure if he was joking or not. It was a nice thought, though she knew she definitely couldn’t smoke weed right now. If her anxiety was low enough, it helped her relax… But if it was too high, it just made it worse.

“And risk them being in there when you don’t? I don’t think I can handle seeing that.” She giggled. It felt like breaking into the girls’ room was just as risky as breaking into Leon and Cass’... But at least it gave her something else to think about, and talk about. She was calming down now. Back to that paranoid state of normal, where she could act like normal.

“Maybe I should grow some in the Greenhouse. I wonder if it would be any different pollinated by my bees.”

Deep breath one, two, three, and Casey reestablished some baseline normalcy in his brain. Everything started to work again in slow enough motion that it wasn’t like watching eight movies at the same time. He giggled about the thought of pot bees, but he was certain if they had pollen of some kind, it’d be the way the plant flowers.

”Someone in this room’s gotta know. I bet Cass knows. Leon doesn’t seem- Shit, did Reyna get into bees when you guys dated?”

He was taking his time getting through the hall around the little L shaped hall. But the door was already being cracked open. Casey couldn’t tell by whom, but he had to clamp down and stay in that moment. And in the desperate struggle itself, he was somewhat taken out of it. Losing grasp again. It was just like that. A little hook to cast the fish back into a raging river.
What the fuck else could he do? If he noticed the door was opened, he noticed the door was opened. It was simple math!

So he stopped. And as playfully as he could, though his face almost looked wrought with pain, he threw his fingers up to his lips and pressed it between them. After a moment, he let the finger drop, and gave her a conspiratorial look.
”Don’t look now, Queen Bee… They’ve found us.”

Eyes of interest implored her to play with him not just for the sake of their happiness. But for the sake of the collective faces to save. It would all be worth it if everything between them was fine, and what would display that more than being nonchalant and goofy about something that nobody else but your half-wolf brother with crazy ears and his proto-wolf girlfriend with equally freaky hearing would even notice!?

It wasn’t like Trisha was-

God, I love you… Please just go with it!

Leon pushed the door open without much effort. He didn’t really look like he was trying to hide, so much as he’d just begun opening the door as they were approaching the end of the hallway. This kind of erratic behavior was something Leon chose to ignore, as he realized a little too late that his little brother’s powers were working against him today. He’d simply reacted too quickly to the door being open. A reason to be worried, but he put on a brave face.

”Just heard the elevator, man. Figured I’d check to see if the door was locked, and when it wasn’t I just figured, ‘fuck it, I’ll open it for you’.”

He casually waved at Trisha, giving her a grin that read pretty genuine. He was still happy to see them trying. He’d done his best to keep to his and Casey’s agreement about not spying or watching one another too closely. And, had only approached his brother after seeing that a sample of Solution 9 was signed out by him for consumption. He was worried about Casey’s workload, and genuinely wanted him to make for their vacation sooner rather than later.

But Casey’s pride wouldn’t let him cope like that. It had to be on his and Trisha’s terms. Nobody else’s. So, now, thanks to his personal strength, Leon was totally unaware of the conversation that had taken place in the elevator or behind the door, only letting himself hear them once they were within comfortable earshot. No knowledge of their knowledge, or that they’d had a near nuclear meltdown again. Several in the last twenty-four hours.

Only what they felt comfortable giving him.

Trisha looked up at Casey, tilting her head with slight confusion. She wasn’t sure what he wanted her to do, and she assumed the moment was lost now that Leon had just walked out. Had he wanted to play out pretending they didn’t know Leon was there, and joke about something silly? What he said and how he looked at her wasn’t enough for her to go off.

But she still did her best, under the circumstances, turning from Casey to Leon with some playful surprise that turned into a smile.
“Oh! Leon! I didn’t even know you were there.”

Then she looked up at Casey with a wider smile, the lingering anxiety disappearing from her gaze. She really could cover it up if she wanted to. No… When she had to. It just wasn’t sustainable.
“I think he wants to steal our bee weed idea. Do-”

”Leeeeooonnn, what’s taking so long, are they-” Cass’ shouted words interrupted Trisha as she practically sprinted out of the door and right into Leon, using his body like a crash mat to stop her momentum. She hadn’t actually been waiting at the door with Leon… Cause it would overwhelm them, and seem like they were actually listening and waiting. Which they weren’t!

Just, Cass had no patience, so such a short time became too long for her. She spun herself around, giving Casey and Trisha a big wave and grin.
”Ohhhh, I see… You were just hogging them! Tsk tsk, I knew that was the real reason you wanted to open the door.”

“We just got here. You’re the impatient one, Cass.” Trisha chided, like she always did when Cass acted silly. Subtly playful, covering up how it was all immediately overwhelming. At least Reyna didn’t seem to have followed. She was actually patient, unlike Cass.

”Heh, guilty. What can I say, I love you sooo much that I just can’t bear to spend any time apart!”

Trisha rolled her eyes, small smile staying on her lips. She shuffled closer to Casey, taking his hand and looking up at him. Her smile widened, gaze softening and filling with love. The feelings shown weren’t fake. It wasn’t something she was putting on for the audience, because she still looked at him like this when it was just them. She still loved him more than anything, and the tenderness was there unless they were arguing.

It was just that in the last few days, she’d been more hesitant. More muted, sometimes. A bundle of nerves, trying not to make the wrong move. Her anxiety was constantly there and constantly visible in her expression, because she just couldn't completely hide it around him. But that was pushed down now so the love really shone through. To be the best and prove them wrong.

“Sorry, Cass, but Casey’s all I need. I get plenty of love from him, so… Save it for Leon.” She said teasingly, still smiling up at Casey.

Casey used both hands to express gratitude and pride. One hit her shoulder, resting on the muscle and rubbing his thumb affectionately into the surrounding flesh in a calm, circular massaging pattern. Being behind her, it was easy for the other to swing around her front, tucking her in around the belly and squeezing her close. He even planted a kiss on the back of her head, pulling up and nodding in agreement with her previous statement.

”I was just mentioning to Trisha how I maybe wanted to smoke a bit.” Casey calmly explained, trying to shake off the fact that he’d magically seen Leon opening the door thanks to some nascent foresight kicking in.

This drug was fucking dangerous. But it didn’t have to be. He just had to make himself calm, and he hoped that getting high in a different direction would balance things out. After all, he didn’t have much else to try. If worst came, he’d just have to level with Leon and spill the beans. But, for now? Operate. Smoothly.

”We can make that happen. Come on! We just broke the fruit plate out.” Leon enthusiastically expressed.
”Oh, did you?” was all Casey could muster in return.

He was too busy attempting to physically bolster Trisha by touch, hoping his clingy affection would translate into confidence for her to feast on.

”Yeah! And? Bread! Sandwiches! Whatever you guys want. Casey, I got a fuckton of that pale watermelon from Lab Three!”

Lab Three was a trek. An annoying slog downtown into a spot where you couldn’t bring cars. They had grow beds in a warehouse, where they made all kinds of transdimensional fruit growing conditions. The pale watermelon in question was from a universe designated “Twinkle”, where the color Red had been completely destroyed by a magical war long ago. Thus, the fruits were all ghastly pale, making them far easier to look at.

Just another instance of Big Brother being “overly” considerate. Of course, he was just being accomodating, but Casey took everything to heart right now. Knowing how annoyed he’d be over getting such a thing from a relatively remote place, it was easy to project the feeling and assume it’d be equally annoying.

Not thinking that Leon just asked someone else to go get it and had it delivered. So, Casey felt doted on again. Made exceptions for.

”You didn’t have to go through the trouble. I would’ve eaten the red stuff.” he replied, shuffling through the door and down the hall to Leon’s side, where Rey was waiting.

He kept Trisha close, like a safety blanket.

Casey's clinginess didn't bolster Trisha's confidence, because very little would right now. But it distracted her and gave her enough comfort to feel like she could get through this. They could get through this. She leaned back against him as much as she could while they were moving.

It was easier when they got through into the main room. Easier, except Reyna was there.

“Hey, Rey. Glad you made it- Wow, Leon wasn't joking about all the food." Trisha struggled with what to say to start, with the words coming out awkwardly. How did she normally talk to Reyna? Or anyone else, for that matter? It was easy with Cass, because she never shut up. And she felt like she had to keep peace between everyone, so that nobody got upset at Casey and he didn't get upset in turn.

Reyna was still leaning against the back of the couch, one hand on her jacket. She smiled at them both, other hand raising in a wave. She would have gone in for a hug, like normal, if Casey wasn't clinging to Trisha like a guard dog. Though Trisha probably wouldn't want the hug, Rey knew that acting normal was the best course of action. Taking what Leon said and using it to understand, rather than bringing anything up.

"Hey, nice to see you both. I wasn't sure if I would… Cass made it seem like you're so in love that you wouldn't want to leave the love nest." Reyna joked easily.

"I did noooottt!" Cass had taken a moment to try to communicate with Leon via interpretive eyebrow movements over how Casey and Trisha were acting. But as soon as she was mentioned, she was jumping right back in.
"I said you'd definitely be here cause no matter what you say you really love me- you want any of these sandwiches?! I can heat em up!"

Cass bounced past Trisha and Casey towards the counter, gesturing to the breakfast sandwiches with a sweeping hand.

Trisha immediately shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do right now was eat. Without Casey to cook and push her towards eating regularly, she'd quickly slipped back into bad habits. No appetite, not bothering to push through it or just forgetting to eat.

"What about one of my birthday beers? Lee already drank the chilli one, so that ain't available I'm afraid."

"Saving us all from watching Cass savour it, I think." Reyna laughed.

Casey grimaced at the concept that was just inserted into his head. Chilli beer?
”Ew, fuck… Was it just fucking bean flavored?”

He only let go of Trisha enough to circulate to the food, which he began to inhale rapidly. Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon- Cold sandwich, unwrapped and devoured in three bites- Watermelon watermelon watermelon again.

”No, like spicy cayenne.” Leon replied, doing his best to mentally translate Cass’ interpretive eye movements while still interacting as normally as possible. Lelou had theories, but they were just theories. Mostly surrounding the robotic motions and actions of the duo of the hour.

It was a little frustrating that Trisha and Casey seemed to still be taking some level of center stage. But, Leon could recognize just as easily that he was just being selfish for Cass’ sake. She wanted Trisha here, and if that was the case, it meant dealing with the two of them acting like this. Which was fine…

Casey, in turn, nodded emphatically.

”That sounds worse, actually. Chipotle beans though? Maybe-”

”-Oh God, don’t tempt the box of wonders. We haven’t looked through all the bottles yet.” Leon shook his head.

”Let’s fuckin’ crack ‘em open then! Cass? Trish? Oh, fuck, sorry Rey- I’m real fuckin’ hungry, how are you?” he paused, licking his fingers and wiping them on his pants before moving over to Rey and giving her a hug. It seemed friendly, at least. And it was; Casey had no ill will against Reyna. He knew she had a reason to worry. It was on him to impress.

Though, he did dangle a strawberry in front of Trisha’s face slightly.

”Y’gotta eat somethin’ Baby.” he cooed.

Trisha pouted, though she reached up to take the strawberry and nibbled on it. She really wasn’t hungry, but if she said no then everyone would worry. Though Cass and Reyna did know that her poor eating wasn’t solely tied to lower periods… It was a fairly consistent issue for her.
“I guess I can have some fruit.”

Reyna watched with a calm smile. At least he still seemed attentive- though there was a chance it was performative, she trusted what Leon had said about Casey not being a bad person just someone struggling. It was something she could easily read if she went back to holding her channeler, but decided not to. Partly because of the blinding light that was Leon, partly to not poke the hive that was Trisha. She’d never liked Reyna doing that.

"I’m good- and don’t worry about it. I’m beginning to get used to this kind of hunger, with how much Cass has already gotten through."

”I only had four pastries while we were waiting!” Cass defended herself, rummaging through the box of beers after not so subtly pushing a tray of sandwiches towards Leon for him to put on and heat up. She was searching for a bean beer, just in case there actually was one… Unfortunately not! But there were plenty of flavours, ranging from more normal to interesting.

She pulled out a few, stretching her hands a bit so she could hold three up to Casey and Trisha for them to choose from. A maple pecan stout beer, a raspberry and watermelon pale ale, and a normal looking IPA.
”No bean beer, unfortunately, but these ones look good!”

“I don’t want to start drinking this early.” Trisha declined the offer with a shake of her head.
“If I do, I’ll spend the whole day drunk.”

"That’s what Cass is going to do, so why not join her?"

”I ain’t! Cause I can’t!”

Reyna laughed, looking over at Casey.
"Don’t worry, next time I’ll bring some Chipotle Bean beer. I’m sure the moment I mention it around the brewer he’ll jump on the idea."

Casey’s eyes lit up instantly. Andrade’s voice echoed in his head for an uncomfortable amount of time, and he finally had a big grin crack across his face. Taking the stout, he gave Cass a little bow.
”Thank you birthday girl!” he smiled.

Unsettlingly, he let the bottle rise up to his mouth, where he hooked the metal cap over his canine tooth and used his free hand to pry the metal open with the tooth as leverage. It was probably going to be a terrible influence on Cass if she caught what happened. Unfortunately, Leon missed it, having twisted himself down to stuff the tray into the oven for ten minutes.

Then he looked at Trisha, pocketing the twisted cap and making way for a glass to pour the heady beer into.
”Babe… We were thinking about mead when Andrade was around. Maybe getting in touch with a brewery like this wouldn’t be a bad idea? When all’s said and done, obviously. Lee, we’re on time with that, right?”

He jumped between conversations, but only because he knew he could have all of them at once. That didn’t make it any less confusing or rude, which Leon could perceive. He picked his torso back up, making a funny face at Casey.

”Yeah… Everything’s fine on our end. What about the mead?” he looked back at Trisha subtly, trying to give her an encouraging smile.

”Just, y’know, different ways to use the honey! It was one of the first conversations she and I had when we met. About, y’know, how much honey she’s always got. Now, we’ve barely got any! The vintage is practically dry, right Honey?” he smiled at her, pouring the beer slow and steady into the glass.

Trisha nodded with her own smile back, managing to not look horrendously anxious as he jumped about topics. Even if she was getting used to his erraticness- in that she expected it- she still struggled with it. Especially something like that, where one moment it felt like his attention was on her and the next it wasn’t. But it was fine. It’d been brought back round.

“It is, but I’ll have more bees soon. So production will go up, and there’ll be more to work with again. Using some for mead or something would be nice.”

"Well, the owner of this brewery would probably be open to collaboration in the future. It’s his passion as much as it’s his job. You don’t specialise all your mundane and magical skills into one thing without that being the case." Reyna smiled, though she was watching Trisha carefully for any signs of being upset. Not at her, but at the topic switch. Though what she could do if her friend did get upset, she wasn’t sure.

”If it’ll get me some awesome mead outta it, I’ll donate even more limbs to the cause! Just ask!” Cass grinned, pulling out a completely different beer for herself. She held up it to purposefully show it off - Birthday Cake flavour it proudly proclaimed.

Trisha’s face scrunched up. That sounded disgusting in a beer to her.

"Why would you have to donate your limbs?"

”Oh! Right! Cause the best way for Trisha to get more bees is to grow ‘em in human flesh. Obviously she ain’t gonna go get a bunch’ve corpses, so I’m providing that flesh! Cause it ain’t so hard for me. It’s good practice, really, so it’s a win-win!” Cass grinned, lifting her beer up to crack open the beer with her teeth alone. It had looked way cooler when Casey did it with his teeth, rather than just flicking it off subtly with strengthened thumbs!

“She volunteered.” Trisha felt the need to explain. She didn’t want Reyna thinking anyone but Cass made the decision.
“But it means I can grow my hive more… I have to make up for lost bees first, but then there’ll be a boost in honey production. It’ll be good for me. I’m trying to get better with my magic. Casey’s been helping me with that… Leon helped me communicate with my Apparition better too.”

Casey was laughing at Cass’ instant pick-up on the tooth popping.
”We all opened ‘em like that. Y’know, sometimes you get a few in a shipment, or a supply. Or you find ‘em in some rubble, miraculously saved.”

Though, he wasn’t wholly distracted by the little story. It was all fresh in the moment, and his social battery was as high as it was going to get. He had to function. Had to. Leon was nodding his head in response to Trisha’s acknowledgement, and he did have something to add, were he not swept off his feet mentally.

”Did you mention magical skills? This is Adeptal brew?” his head pivoted to ask Reyna, half coming out before he fully turned to her.

"I suppose it is. From what I understand, he uses a mixture of traditional methods and Red Lux to brew them. Some are fully magically made, some fully non-magically, most a mixture of both to speed up the process." Reyna explained easily. The owner was essentially a family friend, so she knew a fair amount. He was one of the people who helped them when they first moved to the states, after all.

"So if Trisha worked with him with her honey, you wouldn’t have to hide its magical source. I’m glad you’re able to work on it more, Trisha."

Though Reyna also tried to redirect it back to what else was being said, Trisha just nodded without saying anything. To cover it up, pretending she wasn’t upset at what felt like constant ignoring from Casey, she moved over to pick up and nibble on some fruit. Her mouth was full, so she couldn’t say anything! Not that there was much point, anyway… Casey wouldn’t just ignore her, he’d change the topic to something else. That was fine. She didn’t really want to talk anyway.

As she began to lift pieces of fruit to her mouth, Reyna’s searching gaze caught sight of the ring on her left hand. Normally a more intricate ring wouldn’t cause any reaction, but it was on her ring finger. Perhaps it was a mistake? No, that wasn’t a mistake Trisha would make. She dropped her eyes to look at Casey’s left hand, the matching ring confirming what she already suspected.

"Are you two engaged?" Reyna raised her eyebrows, calm smile not fading. She didn’t sound accusatory or upset, just gently questioning.

Trisha had a bit of watermelon in her mouth, so she just nodded again. She didn’t know if she could answer, as her anxiety started to crawl back out. She’d meant to tell Reyna. She was going to tell all her friends after, but then everything got so busy and she was too depressed to consider it. But now they had to explain in person. What if Reyna disapproved? What if Casey reacted badly to that? What could she even say? She stuffed another piece of fruit in her mouth so she still couldn’t answer.

Casey’s eyes shot back up, then over to Trisha. His grin, cold and somewhat blank until now, suddenly softened in a way that Trisha would be able to recognize immediately. He raised both his hands up playfully after putting his glass down, and slid forward to clasp her face. Planting a kiss on her forehead, he looked down and giggled.

”Yes ma’am! How could I live without this?” he said, tucking his arms around Trisha and waggling back and forth. His head twisted back up to Reyna fully, patting Trisha’s back slowly and gently.

”I know she was keeping a lid on it, but I figured maybe you guys would’ve heard.”

There were magic topics, like a magical brewer to link up with… It was great news, because it meant a solid pipeline for money which Trisha would be able to be in charge of. She’d have independence, and the option to never settle for less. Or, the option to contribute, and do whatever she wanted within the framework of their loving and trusting relationship.

But then there was the relationship itself… Their true connection, which he still had the utmost faith in. And that was the thing he wanted to connect with most. It was the golden link in the chain.

Looking back down at Trisha, he kept that smile burning bright, nuzzling into her. Leon nodded in the background, a laugh escaping from his nose as a simple huff of air. His head turned toward Cass, giving her a knowing wink. He wasn’t sure if Reyna was reading them, or if she was just good at moving things toward a place where Casey would focus. He was hoping at some point that Casey would impose the question; if Reyna was even able to help in the first place, and whether or not she would then be willing to scrub his memories for him.

Because if the blockage didn’t get processed soon? He’d turn into a slathering animal. Leon was sure of that, and didn’t want it getting to that point. Not at all. That’s why he appreciated this singular moment of tenderness, where he clearly found himself able to slow down. There was no question Casey could push himself into moments like that; only whether or not he could do it consistently and not lose the plot in between.

”Surprise, I guess!” he continued, grinning back down at Trisha before squeezing her again.
”I love you! Tell her about it, I wanna hear you talk about it.” he said in a dreamy voice, prompting her onward and not thinking about how he may’ve been putting her on the spot.

When Casey hugged her again, the tension and anxiety threatening to burst out of Trisha simmered back down. She was able to push it back down, melting into him with a soft sigh. She loved him so much, so she could get through anything she needed to. It was just easier when some of his attention was on her, because he was why she was pushing through in the first place.

“I don’t know how to talk about it." Trisha said softly, smiling back up at him. The thought of telling Reyna about it made her nervous. Because if anyone was going to give them a hard time for it being too early, it was her. Cass was easy. The easiest. Nadiyah had just about accepted it, but Reyna? She’d start worrying and prodding. Like she knew better than Trisha… Like she acted when she broke up with Trisha all those years ago.

But Casey said he wanted to hear her talk about it. She could do that for him. She was already ignoring so much of her anxiety for him.

“It’s just hard to put how amazing it was into words. But, uh…” She turned herself slightly to face Reyna while still leaning heavily into Casey, her arms having snaked around him to cling.

“He actually proposed to me first when it was just us… It was really sweet. No ring, because he wanted to get something together. I ended up imagining what I wanted, and he got it out of my hand to send to his Grandmother to make. Then he used that to propose again at Thanksgiving in front of… A lot of people. I’m glad I knew it was going to happen, because I probably would’ve run away if I didn’t.” She giggled softly. It would’ve been even more overwhelming.
“He made a really nice speech… I can’t really repeat it without ruining the effect. But it was perfect. Probably the best day of my life.”

She purposefully missed some stuff out, of course. To her it was romantic that Casey proposed right after an argument, but she doubted Reyna would agree. Then she called it the best day of her life… It would have been if it wasn’t for what happened afterwards.

“I was going to tell you, but we’ve been so busy, I haven’t had time. I also expected Cass to have spilled it by now.”

”Hey, hey, let’s keep focusing on your love rather than my mistakes!” Cass had slipped around to Leon, which meant she smacked him right in the face as she threw her hands up. Accidentally! She immediately rubbed his chin apologetically… She wasn’t super boosted right now, but she was always a little boosted.

She was glad things seemed… Calmer at least. Well, Casey seemed a bit calmer. He wasn’t jumping all around the place, which honestly she wasn’t sure she could judge when she did the same thing. But she wasn’t that bad! She was pretty attentive to the people who needed it, at least.

Reyna watched Trisha and Casey for a moment, finger brushing against her jacket. She couldn’t ignore the pink that lit up her vision, all their other emotions swirling beneath the love filled aura. Even if it seemed a bit dulled on Casey’s side compared to the last time… But what could she say about that? And as a Pink Lux user, she knew emotions fluctuated.

She knew that Trisha was probably expecting her to disapprove. Really, she felt a bit maligned by all her friends there. Trisha and Cass both, seeming to expect her to question their decisions. She just wouldn’t sit silently while she watched someone make bad decisions.

Was getting engaged in a month sensible? Not in her opinion… But whether they were engaged or not, she knew Trisha’s feelings towards Casey would be the same. Thus, the effect of him hurting her or leaving her would be just as devastating. It was better to support and hope than speak out against it and risk Trisha pushing her away. At least, even with whatever was going on right now, Casey seemed good to her. And she was clearly happy.

"Congratulations. That’s a very early proposal… But you’re clearly both happy about it." Reyna smiled at them both.
"I’m glad I found out now, rather than from a text. It’s nicer this way. When do you plan to have the wedding?"

“We’re not rushing… I’d like a spring wedding, but next year would be too early. Maybe the year after. We’ll see.” Trisha responded, looking back up at Casey with a warm smile.
“You only get one wedding, so we want to take our time planning it.”

Casey nodded along, the spark in his eye clearly not as dull as the emotions overall. It was a manic expression in the first place, which could easily be construed as that same passion he’d had up until now. As long as it was obfuscated to Trisha, he figured it didn’t matter what the source was. But, it probably looked a bit strange for Reyna, whom he looked back up at without quite losing the expression.

”I wouldn’t even know what I wanted to do for it to begin with, honestly. I’m sure we’re both banking on something small, but what that actually means is still up for grabs. I’m looking forward to seeing everything that happens in between, anyway.” he admitted happily, head tilting once more to make sure she didn’t react in that attentive moment.

”As long as you guys aren’t gonna force us to go camping or something.” Leon joked, doing his best to keep things airy as he rubbed his face and playfully bopped Cass in the cheek as revenge.

”Oh- That’s a great idea, Babe! A camping wedding would be awesome!” Cass grinned, grabbing his hand playfully. She was bouncing on the spot, making it a little hard to tell if she was also joking or being entirely serious about it.

“I’m not having a camping wedding.” Trisha shook her head, laughing softly. She didn’t exactly have a picture in her head of what it would be like, or a set idea they had to follow, but she knew it wasn’t going to be something like that. She was a little worried Casey might actually agree with what was clearly a joke from Leon.

“Can you imagine trying to wear a wedding dress while camping? It would end up brown instead of white.”

”Don’t worry, I’ll hold up your skirts with my ten arms to stop any of it from getting muddy! It’s my job as your best bridesmaid!”

"There’s already roles assigned?" Reyna raised her eyebrows, managing to tear her eyes away from Casey and Trisha. Mostly Casey, as she tried to parse out his aura. Searching for anything suspicious… But it seemed like a case of pretending emotions were stronger than they were. Not a good thing, but not malicious. Her hand moved away from her channeler.

“No. Cass decided for herself, and she changes her title every few days.”

Cass let out a little cackle.
”I’m settled on this once, cause I’m the best! And it’s my birthday celebration, so gotta do what I say, which means-”

“You don’t get to decide my wedding because we’re celebrating your birthday.” Trisha interrupted lightly.

”I was gonna say another beer for me, but alright!” Cass stuck her tongue out at Trisha, reaching into the box to pull out a random beer.
”Crazy wedding idea aside, camping is fun. I ain’t actually been since I came over to the states.”

”Oh, we gotta run tests first. Trisha’s good outside, but I don’t know about extended periods.” Casey giggled, wagging his eyebrows.
”No point ruining the experience and turning her off of it forever.”

Leon laughed aloud knowing what Casey could do in terms of his magic. It seemed silly to worry about going camping when he could stuff an entire cabin into a pill. She’d probably wind up with internet if she deemed it necessary.

”Don’t tell me you’re gonna subject her to camping? Not when you, y’know…-”

Casey looked up at Leon and shrugged.

”Well, what would be the point of camping if it didn’t have camping in it? Why make it a crazy luxury experience when it’s something that gets you centered back with nature?” Casey asked in turn, biting his lip before looking down again.

”Aw, who am I kidding? Whatever gets you out there. You want a hot shower? Would that be enticing?” he asked Trisha, giggling to himself.

“I’m willing to try camping however it’s meant to be, if it’s with you.” Trisha responded sweetly. She could survive a night without showering, but being somewhere any longer then… She probably would want that hot shower. She didn’t have the constitution to shower cold. But she could probably deal with everything else camping had to offer, as long as it was with him. It wasn’t like she was overly fussy about where she spent her time, or needed to be in the lap of luxury.

“Then… I can ask for that hot shower if I need it. But I do want to try. I’ve never done it, and it feels like something I missed out on. I like being outside and I think I could sleep in a tent… And do whatever else you do when camping.” There were a lot of things she’d missed out on. A lot of time spent inside, in one room. She liked nature and the outdoors, and only appreciated it more now thanks to her bees. She wouldn’t mind a couple of days of the basics.

”I dunno, Trisha.” Cass’ expression turned deadly serious for a moment, almost solemn.
”Unless you get a massive sleeping bag that fits both of you, it’ll be really hard for you to cuddle at night.”

”Oh, well it’s not like I’m trying to stuff her into a foxhole. I like using my canvas tent. It’s a bit of a bitch to put up, but it’s like… A nice room. I’ve got a cot just for me, but they sell bigger ones. Or, I could make one myself. There’s certain luxuries that I think are nice. Like, rainproofing! God, don’t get me started on spending time in China. Where we were, it was raining constantly. I told myself I’d never wanna camp like that again if I had the choice.”

He was encouraged by what she said, at least. It was nice to know that she’d try whatever, and he hoped that what he had to say was encouraging in return.

”We could go to an actual campground, where there’s amenities available. But, I bet you’d appreciate the privacy a lot more if we went somewhere just, y’know, out in the woods.” he reinforced the point, moving to hold her hand.

”Like, if we end up getting some property like I’ve been looking at? Maybe we can spend the first couple weeks camping as we build the first structure together.” he grinned widely.

”Oh! Yeah, Reyna… Casey’s stealing her away to Montana. They’re gonna raise bees and farm flowers.” Leon joked, leaning across the kitchen and poking Casey’s arm playfully.

Casey laughed back, but kept looking down at Trisha to see how she felt about the idea.

Trisha was trying to process the idea of camping for a couple of weeks while building a house, smile frozen on her face. She wasn’t actually sure if she could do that. She’d never been camping! So she really didn’t know. It made sense if they had to build their new home… But it was something she’d really have to think about.

"Montana? The middle of nowhere in Montana, I assume?" Reyna raised her eyebrows, looking at Trisha. It didn’t seem like the kind of thing Trisha would want… But then again, it had always been hard to tell what Trisha actually wanted. Maybe she’d thrive somewhere away from all the people. She’d never seemed to want some life filled with luxury, even though it had been handed to her since birth.

"Well I guess I’ll have to visit loads when you’re somewhere accessible! I never pictured Trisha as the farm type."

“I’m not the farm type… But I’d like to go somewhere quiet. Casey will tend the flowers, I’ll tend the bees!” Trisha said with a gentle laugh. Her expression shifted, smile no longer awkward and uncertain.
“I’ll need a hot shower if you want to camp for a couple of weeks… But can we try going away camping for a weekend first? I don’t want to jump right into the deep end, though I’m sure I’ll enjoy it with you.”

Casey gave a big nod in return, both to Reyna’s assumption and to Trisha’s necessary bar for entry. He definitely would want her there, especially if his theory about camping’s relation to his moods held true. It meant there may be a February trip necessary, and that would probably be a struggle. Something he’d almost have to guarantee a bit of extra luxury in, given how harsh the climate at that time could get.

”Yeah! We’ll go pretty soon. It’ll be cold, we’ll go somewhere snowy. I’ll make sure you’re all bundled up. Hell, I’d put you on a little sled. That’ll be fun.” he smiled half into space, thinking about better days ahead before taking a deep breath and beaming back up at Reyna.

”It’s good you’re an Adept. I’m gonna look into a couple different artifacts from the family collection. My slice of the pie. The hope is that we’ll have a way to make sure our Adeptal friends and family can get in and out quickly. There’s no reason we should ever be totally stranded or isolated. I just want to be able to choose to engage life on our terms. Which, we can both agree on, right Babe?” he asked, pretty sure she was in agreement with that scheme.

“Right. We’ll be able to have peace whenever we want, but we’ll be able to easily have people visit too. It’ll be a nice balance.” Trisha nodded with a smile. She didn’t want to be isolated from the few friends she had… But she’d be happy to move somewhere that was more out of the way. Living in a city was easy, but didn’t exactly bring her many benefits. Outside of places to look for partners, but she didn’t have to do that anymore. It meant they’d only have to see who they wanted to.

She didn’t say anything about the possible cold camping trip. The idea of going camping now was less appealing than in the warmer months… But he seemed excited about it, so she didn’t want to rain on that.

"That’s good to hear. I was a little worried I’d have to travel for a whole day just to visit." Reyna smiled, feeling truly relieved at that. They weren’t planning to just isolate themselves from everyone… Hopefully. He was planning to isolate her, the kind of behaviour that would really worry her.

”Yeah, cause you’re gonna have to visit a lot if me and Lee also end up there… Which is very possible, assuming everything works out! Who knows how things’ll go but, we could all end up nice and cozy in Montana.” Cass grinned.

Reyna’s attention turned to Cass and Leon, brow furrowing slightly. What was with her friends and planning their future with someone far too early?
"Please tell me you two won’t be engaged as well the next time I visit. I’m not sure I can handle that."

”Uh, no! Just cause I might move somewhere with him in the future doesn’t mean we’re gonna get married!” Cass responded fairly bluntly, though she meant soon rather than ever. They weren’t going to rush into things… Though she still wasn’t sure whether she wanted to get married one day or not.

Leon nodded and laughed aloud at Cass’ bluntness, loving how her best qualities always came forward under pressure. It was an incredibly admirable trait to possess, and he was always gonna want that part of her. He didn’t know many other people like that.

Maybe Gin, but that was a completely different kind of relationship. In this context, it was less adorable, and far more attractive. Unable to help himself, he had to follow her over the edge.

”She knows I want a few pups though. We’re still negotiating that.” he grinned.

Which caused Casey to curl back into Trisha and laugh a little too hard at the joke. He still didn’t want to know about their sex life. But, he had to act cool, because he didn’t know how accustomed Reyna was to that kind of talk or behavior. It couldn’t be helped anyway, and at least Leon kept going.

”But, we’re nowhere near done having fun yet. I promised her a world tour. We’re gonna do a bit of questing, if you will.” he grinned widely at Reyna, tossing a playful jab at Cass.

Cass giggled, jerking her whole body to bump him back.
”Yeah, I ain’t even thinking ‘bout settling down or kids or any of that shit till I get my world tour and adventure! While these two skip straight to cozy fantasy, we’re gonna be doing all the cool shit!”

Trisha rolled her eyes at the two of them, not trying to suppress her normal reaction to when Leon and Cass talked like this. At least it was the normal one, and not something more extreme.
“I’ll take my cozy home over travelling around any day.”

Reyna shook her head, laughing lightly.
"That doesn’t surprise me. Honestly, I’d be concerned if Cass wanted to settle down so soon. It would be very un-her. It’s good you're both on the same page."

Then she smiled at all of them. Maybe this would come across as a bit condescending, but she genuinely believed it.

"I’m glad that you all seem happy." Even if there were difficulties for one couple, which did concern her. But all relationships had struggles, it was how they got through it that mattered. Hopefully they would push through it.
"Genuinely. Just a couple of months ago I was worrying about both of you."

”Both?! Trisha I get, but what was there to worry about me?!”

"You spent most of your day sending us memes, and complaining about how boring everything was. It wasn’t very healthy."

”Eh, well, eh- Sure it was boring as fuck, but I was fine!” Cass protested again.

“I was fine too.” Trisha piped up.
“Now I’m just better than fine.”

Reyna held up her hands, just laughing at both of their stubborn denial.

The brothers could only look at one another and shake their heads between one another. There weren’t words they could share that wouldn’t give their mutual suspicions of one another away. It had to just look like a heartwarming family moment! Casey patted Trisha, kissing her on the top of the head.

”You’re such a soldier, Baby.” he giggled, kissing her again before nudging her back toward where his beer was.

”I can see you not thriving in that environment, Cass! It’s gonna be crummy enough when we do need to slow down and get you right.” he moved to her in turn, poking at her as he got closer.

Cass waggled a finger at him.
”Nuh uh, I’m never gonna-” She cut herself off, actually processing what he’d said. He didn’t mean when they got old or any shit like that! He meant cause of her stupid curse, when they wouldn’t be able to do stuff cause she’d been stuck in bed. It was going to be crummy. It would fucking suck!

Trisha was more than happy to let Casey move her towards wherever he wanted to be, as long as she got to stay near him. As she leaned against him again, she glanced between Reyna and Cass. She was happy to put the attention onto Cass rather than her and Casey for a moment, even if it was a little selfish to prod at this topic.
“Have you told her yet?”

"Told me what?" Reyna answered, folding her arms.

”Uh, well, it ain’t really a topic for fun hang outs! Or birthday celebration days!” Cass protested, absolutely not wanting to bring the mood down. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell Reyna… She was generally an honest person after all. It was just still something she was processing, so she couldn’t just talk about it happily.

”That makes it sound like I gotta talk about something real bad. I ain’t dying or anything! Just, we’re all having fun, we can talk about it another time!”

”I’ll drink to that.” he said, holding up his glass as he repositioned his other arm to hug Trisha across the front.
Then, he gave her another kiss, and took a big frothy sip. It was delicious.
”Holy shit! This is awesome! Babe, I know you don’t want a lot, but just take a little sip of this. It’s fucking great. We need this guy’s number as soon as we’ve got honey to spare.” he happily stole the show back, just to make sure that others saw how fine they were.

Leon’s forehead beaded with a little sweat, and he grinned down at Cass hoping that Reyna wouldn’t protest to Casey taking things into his own hands. He hadn’t meant to blurt it out, but that was often Leon’s problem in the end. He just said things! He didn’t mean anything by it, only that he was already thinking ahead to those times! About how they’d treat her while they were out and about in the world. Leon couldn’t just put his whole life on hold if he was doing a circuit, or God forbid he was invited to tour at any great capacity.

It was going to be a big part of his life. He was amazed that Cass had kept such a lock on it. His hands moved out quickly, batting at her arms in a teasing way, eyes making sure she knew he was confused and sorry all at once.

Cass batted his hands away playfully, looking up at him with a smile. She wasn't upset at him, and that much was clear in her expression. Fully accepting of his non verbal apology, if a little sad. She was upset about the circumstances… And she really just didn't want to talk about it today!

Unlike Leon, she had been avoiding thinking ahead when it came to her illness. Every time she did, it just made her feel like shit. Because she knew it was going to make things difficult if they were on the road! She'd have to stop and she'd miss out on shit. It would suck ass. So she didn't even want to think about it, to stop herself spiralling into feeling actually gloomy about it. Cause she really was excited for everything else! And she wasn't upset right now.

So she returned fire, poking at his arms before reaching up to hook her arms around his neck. She tugged him forward so he was forced to bend down to her level.
"All good, Babe! I ain't upset." She magically muted her voice, so even this close he should only be able to pick it up thanks to his super hearing. The others would only hear if they were concentrating their White Lux on them.

Trisha reached up for Casey's glass, taking a small sip from it. Her eyes closed for a moment… It was really good. It made her a little upset that she really couldn't drink herself. One beer might be fine, but it risked more, which meant getting drunk. She knew she wasn't going to be a happy drunk tonight… She'd probably be sad, and she wouldn't be able to keep a lid on her emotions like she did now. So she couldn't risk it.

Hopefully Casey would keep letting her have sips of his, so she could at least try whatever he was having.

“It’s really nice. Almost makes me want to supercharge my bees so they'll work harder." Trisha smiled up at Casey, leaning back against him. She didn't particularly like the attention being back on them, but it was fine. At least he was there and present… Being slotted in against him, the warmth of his body against her back, helped. She could almost fool herself that she felt perfectly fine.

“I’ll probably have enough honey next February or March, seeing as I'm supplying Andrade with less for now." Even though he'd moved away, the contracts they had still held- or at least, had been amended. Just without the restaurants, there wasn't much to supply right now.
“We need to refill our own supply, and I want to get my website running- even if it's just small quantities. Then we can get in touch with this guy to make mead. Do you really think he'll be that willing to work with us, Rey?"

Of course the typical anxiety came out. Would a brewery this good really want to use her honey?

"I'm sure he would, especially if he knows it's not just normal honey." Reyna smiled. She glanced over at Leon and Cass, but easily moved on without pushing her. It was Cass, after all- if she said they'd talk about it another time, they would. She wasn't one for hiding things.

"You'll probably have to visit, so he can test out your honey with you there. He's quite the hands on man… The Brewery isn't close to our university, but I'm sure if you made a trip of it you could show that off to Casey."

Trisha nodded at that, head tilting towards Casey.
“That could be quite nice. I did spend four years there… We could make a trip out of it sometime."

Casey nodded in turn, accepting that at some point they’d be going to the midwest whether he wanted to or not. If it wasn’t this, it probably would’ve been something else that brought them into that windy, frozen shithole. He didn’t have a lot of good memories in Chicago. A parade that went tits up, a few presentations from the church as a younger kid, two tournaments following Gravity into the Windy City. He didn’t have anything against it per se, as much as he just didn’t have any reason to suspect it was worth going there.

At least now they had personal reasons. This time would be the charm! She’d show him all the quiet little spots that a bunch of soldiers had no reason to look for.

”Let's go as a family! We’ll pack the girls up, get them the fuck out of here; I think it’ll be great! The estate’s still in charge of the Barrelchest!” Leon exclaimed with a wide smile, thinking fondly about all the good times he had experienced in the Ol’ Chi.

Casey immediately narrowed his eyes, in utter disbelief that they still had property there.
”What the fuck? The Colbys aren’t dead?” was the only question Casey could possibly muster. He remembered Mr. Colby being old when they were kids. Now? He must’ve been venerable.

Leon laughed and shook his head.
”Nah, Senior died a few years ago. You were on your last tour. Rodney actually came back home because of it; said the Army gave him some kind of pass ‘cuz he was the only son in the family.”

Casey frowned slightly, remembering playing with Rodney and Antonio as kids. If Rodney was the only son-

”Where… the fuck did Tony go?”

”Bought a farm, as you guys say. Somewhere over Finland.”

It made sense to Casey. Antonio had always loved planes. He remembered the collection on the boy’s wall. Rodney Senior had been their grandfather, on account the boys’ father was almost always traveling with their dad.

Leon saw his brother become instantly introspective, and looked around the room until he settled on Reyna.

”Sorry! The Barrelchest is a little fuckin’ hole in the wall hotel over there. Up in Lakewood; technically our family owns it, but we really just bought the bills out from the owning family. Rodney Colby, his son is, uh… Alexander Colby.”

A name Cass would’ve been foolish not to speak practically in the same breath as Gravity Richoux. Formerly “Coffin Colby”, who became “The Colby Comet” once he’d joined their Father’s team. Old Rodney was a boxer himself, and a captain in the first world war almost seventy years ago, who had won the building around the turn of the century. Much like the Cannery, it underwent renovation from an industrial processing facility into housing for travellers. Now it was a historic site, and they got paid more to let people tour the place than they did hosting guests.

”And so, now his oldest son, J-Rod, we call him, but he’s Rodney Junior after his Grandfather. He’s the guy in charge of keeping it on the up. Since Alex, tragically-” he let Cass explain to the group what happened to poor Comet Colby.

”He got hit by a comet!- Wait.” Cass paused, eyes narrowing thoughtfully as she put two and two together. They knew each other… Comet Colby had been in Gravity’s team, who she knew had magic. They all had magic. They were crazy magic families.

”Wait, he didn’t- It wasn’t a fucking freak meteor strike, was it?!”

Reyna raised her eyebrows. She didn’t know anything about boxing, but she did know that freak meteor strikes tended not to happen very often and they didn’t generally kill just one person.
"It’s a good excuse for a magical death. Did you seriously think it was a comet?"

”Yessssss! Of course I did!” Cass wailed.

Trisha only half listened, looking up at Casey with a slightly tired smile.
“So much for a quiet future trip.” She whispered. Though if they ended up going to Chicago as a big group, the two of them were definitely spending a good chunk of the time alone. Cass could give the rest the university haunt tour.

Casey snorted to himself gently, air huffing out of his nose almost silently.
”It’s not something we have to tell anyone about. It’s a business trip.”

Leon was, thankfully, too wrapped up in relaying the information at hand to Cass to hear Casey’s insistence that they’d be alone.

”Yeah, I always thought it was a pretty wild claim for something so tongue-in-cheek, but I guess that was one of his last wishes. Dude got cursed by some asshole Adept gambler, I guess he wasted a bunch of money, tried to force Alex to fix a fight to get it all back, then tried extorting him when he wouldn’t. Ultimately, Alex beat the fuck out of the guy, but didn’t kill him. So, he cursed him with this crazy withering-”

”-Westergard’s Curse of Seven Moons.” Casey piped up, feeling the need to clarify.

Leon stuck his finger up.

”That’s the one. So, yeah. Seven moons, and you die. The Union spent seven months trying to find the guy, but he went hard to ground, and they couldn’t muster him. The guy showed up at Alex’s funeral in a green suit with a bouquet of clovers.”

Casey shook his head. It was something morbid to laugh at, but he couldn’t help it. That was the kind of pettiness he sometimes wished he could emulate, because it would simply hurt others. It was appealing to lose one’s sense of morality, even if only for a fleeting glimpse of what could be.
He’d spent long enough being exactly who he was without any sort of walls or masks. Active duty affords you that. His position, especially. A lone expert. A specialist. He didn’t have any one home, and went where he was needed. If people needed him, that meant putting up with whoever the Hell he was. And that meant dealing with every dark, depraved joke and sick ideas he happened to get a kick out of that day.

”That pretty much sums up Eustace Westergard. Nine times nine lives, that guy.” he said without sounding too impressed.

Leon just nodded.
”Yeah… Died of old fucking age too, crazy enough. Couldn’t outrun the reaper, thank fuck.”

”Oooo it’s good he’s already fucking dead, because he wouldn’t’ve been able to outrun me either!” Cass’ sense of justice was set alight, and she was even rotating one arm like she was about to go into a fight. That asshole! Fucker lost a bunch of his own money then got pissed when someone had morals, and killed him! Goddamn, curses were the fucking worst.

Reyna shook her head.
"Blue Lux often brings out the worst in people. Not all of them, but it’s quite common. We can be thankful it’s the rarest type."

Trisha didn’t really have much to say. She didn’t know the long dead man- obviously- and while his death sounded tragic, it was kind of funny how petty it had been. Over something so small. It would be nice to be that free, and to just not worry about what was right and wrong.

“The one Blue Adept I knew- uh, aside from Andrade- was a bitch. Honestly, that’s probably too nice. She was horrible to everyone, and her magic wasn’t even that useful.” With nothing to say about the situation, Trisha went back to her comfort place- bitching about someone from her past.
“But she always acted like she was better than everyone because her family was rich and powerful Adepts.”

”Oh, fuck, yeah. Not a good woman. Did she…-”

Casey nodded.

”And sent packing. Her and Baksh both, I guess they decided it was time for a vacation.”

Leon breathed a sigh of relief. He may not have liked either of those women, but anyone who had to die to Dollhouse and their ill-conceived machinations, died for something that never should’ve happened in the first place. Anyone left was alright in his book. So, bygones could be bygones. Still, he wasn’t above a little shittalking.

”It’s a tough magic to wield. Obviously, she wasn’t the type for diligence besides consistently acting like an ass. But, being depressed all the time has got to wear on the soul.” Leon tried to relate, veiling a dig with a commentary.

Casey shook his head. Having known a few Blue Adepts besides Andrade himself, he’d seen how devastating a true Curse Master could be. Andrade was purely unique thanks to his dual Adepthood. Black and Blue are an obviously horrifying combination, but pure blue was a far more subtle nightmare. It wasn’t about what a curse could do instantly. It was about what it could do over time. What the capacity for those feelings were inside the Adept, and how they learned to apply their sorrow beyond their own body.

”Think about the fact that there’s only a couple of kinds of magic that linger after death. Out of all of them, most require rituals, or some kind of anchoring to a magical point.” Casey spoke from Cass back down to Trisha, avoiding Reyna as he didn’t want to assume she didn’t know this already.
Taking a sip of his beer, he held it back down to see if she wanted another sip.

”But, uniquely, Orange and Blue Lux have the distinction of lingering after Death. For whatever reason, they’re naturally persistent. So, a good Orange, or Blue, Adept… Which, if I remember correctly, Sloane was both? Can weave spells that can withstand the test of time. We can look at most Artifacts, whose influence is almost always either Apparitional in nature, or made of Orange Lux artifice. Or, ancient curses… Like-”

”-Like Matthew’s Marching Feet!” Leon immediately took over, making sure Casey didn’t go anywhere near the more sensitive curse in the room.

”God, right. That shit’ll drive you nuts if it holds.” he looked at Reyna, raising his eyebrows as if to ask her familiarity.

"I know of it." Reyna nodded. Her family definitely wasn’t like the Richoux in terms of their wealth of magical knowledge, but both sides came from long and relatively pure lines of Adepts. Knowledge was passed down, and small magical communities always found. So she knew enough.

"It sounds like the worst case of tinnitus you could get."

Trisha pursed her lips, before reaching to take another sip of Casey’s beer. She was following the conversation, but she didn’t really understand what it had to do with what she’d said about Sloane. It already sounded like Leon was defending her, so she really hoped Casey wasn’t. He probably wasn’t, right? He was just taking the opportunity to talk about something he enjoyed discussing.

”Wait, tinnitus- it ain’t something that makes you just constantly march?” Cass obviously knew very well how ancient curses persisted. She was fucking stuck with one! But this Marching Feet one sounded very different.

Trisha tilted her head down.
“What does this have to do with Sloane? Do you think it excuses what she was like?”

”Oh, that she didn’t stand a fucking chance, yeah. Not really an excuse-”
”-But it does explain a lot, yeah. She’s like… Constantly stuck between wanting to be a badass and being in a total self-absorbed depressive state. Like, we all deal with shitty moments, but try balancing those two feelings constantly. It didn’t surprise me that she wasn’t very helpful back then, and it doesn’t surprise me now.” Leon finished, shrugging his shoulders.

”I won’t hold it against her. I just hope she doesn’t go pointing herself at whatever and using her magic lightly. Hell, if I were ever going to encourage someone to Sever for the sake of their own mental health, it’d be fucking Sloane Farris. My God!” He shook his head, an absent smirk crossing his face.

”Wow! Tell us how you really feel, Lee.” Casey giggled, looking down at Trisha.
”I never bothered much with her files. Was she really that bad, Babe?” he asked her.

Trisha nodded, managing not to glare at Leon for what very much sounded like defending a shitty person thanks to Casey’s attention landing back on her. Because she was fine enough that she could handle something that really shouldn’t upset her so much. She’d said she’d be patient with Leon, which meant being patient with him excusing people like that.

“She was. Half the time she had as much personality as a rock, the other half she was being the most judgmental bitch imagineable. She’d criticise everything and everyone. It was like she thought she was the only one that could do anything.” Trisha scrunched up her face in displeasure. The two of them had clashed a fair few times.

“Normally she’d be hiding with all the other ‘smart’ kids, who organised things over the radios. But there were a couple of times she came out… I ended up with her once. She spent the whole time criticising us, and she blamed me when she ended up getting stung during a fight because she was trying to fend off a monster with a useless cursed item! I saved her life and she ripped into me rather than being thankful.”

For anyone that knew Trisha- which was everyone in the room- it would be obvious why she disliked someone like Sloane so much. Her lacking self confidence couldn’t take many blows, so harsh criticism was incredibly difficult for her to deal with. The way Sloane delivered her ‘hard truths’ was so similar to how Maria did too… Completely unempathetic.

Casey nodded and gently patted under the arm he was holding around her.
”Well, good news is that by the time she’s back here full time, we should be cleared out. And you’ll never ever have a chance in Hell of seeing her again.” he mused, sounding chipper about that at least.

Leon nodded.
”Yeah, that’s honestly been a blessing in disguise. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about other places I’d settle in if I didn’t have a foot bolted down to this city. Now’s the time to unscrew the last few fasteners.” he proudly added to Casey’s point.

The two of them exchanged nods, and Leon looked down at the box of beer before starting to rummage through for one he found interesting as opposed to one that a monster was interested in.

Trisha looked up at Casey before nodding. He was right… They’d be gone by the time she was back. Trisha never had to seem any of them again. She was done with Sycamore, aside from Leon- who hardly counted at this point. They had more connections than just a dead coven.

“None of us will have anything tying us to this city anymore… Which will be nice.” She agreed. Though, technically the things that had tied her down externally were gone now. It was just Casey, and waiting for the Temple to collapse and be done. Thanks to him, she had the confidence to leave her own family… Or at least, stop relying on them and staying here because it was easy. And with ‘Father Wolf’ dead she was safe to go wherever she wanted to.

”Ooo, I’m an expert at unscrewing shitty place fasteners! Lemme get my hands in there!” Cass joked, holding up her hands as her nails grew into claws, as if she was going to slice through his foot. She wasn’t, obviously, but it was for the effect of it!

Though, it had been different for her… She’d left while she still had plenty back there. But it also hadn’t been a crazy cult where leaving was like dying!

Reyna laughed lightly.
"You’re great at doing things like that through brute force, sure, Cass. I’m not sure that counts as being an expert."

”Uh, yeah it does! When have you seen me do that kinda shit anyway? I ain’t- Oh! Was it when I punched Naima’s brother and told him to get the hell outta her life!”

Reyna just nodded.

”It worked out, though! She even lived with me for a few years.”

“She broke up with me, though.” Trisha complained.

Cass laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. That had been entirely unrelated to the brother punching incident, the timing just happened to line up enough that she chose to take the blame… For Trisha’s sake!

”Oh, that Naima… Geeze, Cass, where haven’t your fists been at?” Leon playfully asked, putting his hands up like he did whenever they were sparring; open and ready for her to punch at.

Casey shook his head, looking up only for a brief moment before turning back down to Trisha. He couldn’t help but wonder why on Earth it mattered whether or not that person broke up with her. A million different things he could’ve said went through his mind before he settled on just squeezing her a little tighter. It was the only option that wouldn’t have ultimately sounded snide or otherwise like bait for a fight.

”It’s pretty funny, honestly. How you always seem so ready for action, even when you always settle things pretty humanely, Cass.” he offered an insight instead, smoothing his desires out with distractions.

”Oh yeah, I only punch people who really deserve it!” Cass nodded enthusiastically, making an exaggerated swoosh sound with her mouth as she punched Leon’s open hands. She didn’t do any extra magical boosts like she normally would when they sparred- cause they were inside and not sparring! She didn’t want to risk accidentally getting too excited and breaking the countertop or something.

”I always try to talk it out first! But if it ain’t working, the fists gotta come out!”

"Apart from when she’s drunk." Reyna countered.
"Then, she goes for the fists first, and I would be the one cleaning up the mess."

Trisha nodded in agreement to that, though she didn’t look up at her friends. She was too busy leaning back into Casey, her arm hooking round his, like she was trying to merge with him. She wasn’t upset- at least anymore than she had been the whole time- but the mention of another ex had set off her anxiety a little. Her own reaction outing that the person was an ex had set off her anxiety! Sure, Casey had said multiple times that he didn’t care how many people she’d been with, but that didn’t mean she should risk rubbing it in his face. Eventually he could decide he’d had enough of it, and deserve someone that didn’t have such a tarnished history.

”Heyyy, don’t act like you also step in and try to sort this kinda shit out! Just you always use your words instead of fists, and you’re real good at it- Anyway, point is! I punch people who deserve it! Hard! And it’s almost always men cause, no offence, they’re mostly likely to be aggressive, sexist assholes.”

”I’ve always found it to be a wealth-distributed demographic.” Leon offered as an idea.

One that Casey scoffed openly at.

”Please, it’s one hundred percent an individual basis. It’s totally-”
He stopped, biting the bottom of his lip before swinging the cup in his hand about gently.
”-totally subjective on all fronts. Coming from our modern military, there’s rich people and poor people. Men and women. Nobody’s got a decent thing to say about anyone else as a group. But, if you ask them who their favorite people in their lives are, I bet you’ll get a healthy mix of people of all kinds.”

Leon pouted his bottom lip out.

”Oh no, he’s been hitting the internet again.” he mocked.

Casey scowled back.
”Just… Giving my unsolicited opinion, clearly.”

Trisha frowned, subtly tensing. She wasn’t happy that things seemed to be escalating, and Casey’s tone set off her anxiety. He wasn’t about to explode, was he? What happened to acting fine? She wasn’t sure if she could deal with him and Leon fighting.

”Whoa, whoa!” Cass waved her hands in the air vaguely between the two, as if she could cut the growing tension with them. She certainly hadn’t meant for this to happen with the comment!

”I wasn’t saying all men are aggressive assholes, or that all women are perfect not-assholes! Just that my experience is that I gotta beat up men the most, cause they do shit to my lady friends… Of course it’s an individual thing. Sorta. There’s societal shit there, but we ain’t getting into that here!” She continued, doing her best to damage control before either Leon or Casey got more annoyed at the other.

It was such a silly thing to fight about. Well, maybe not silly, considering the societal effects- but right now, it wasn’t important.

”Clearly I gotta healthy mix of people in my life! I mean, hell, there’s more men in there. And one of the worst for everyday sexism is my own Ma!” She bounced a bit, throwing out something kinda personal in her attempts to cool things down. Not that she kept things that hidden, like Trisha did.

She then reached up to pat Leon’s arm.
”It ain’t an unsolicited opinion, Casey. But whatever Leon was gonna say ain’t unsolicited either. Clearly there’s some different opinions, and that’s fine. I was just making an observation and all, I wasn’t tryna make it seem like a fact.”

"It’s probably not a topic to dwell on. Can’t say it’s a particularly… Fun one." Reyna commented, very subtly inclined her head towards Trisha, who was still silently trying to melt into Casey and not have a panic attack. It was subtle- an increasing tension that only Casey would be able to feel since he was so close to her. It didn’t look much different to how she’d been moments before after grumbling about her ex. She was doing her best to keep it hidden.

But Reyna had gone for her channeler again, and could see the fluctuations around Trisha’s Emotional Field.

Casey wanted to argue about things. He didn’t want to sit silently and let people bowl his opinion over without recourse. He certainly didn’t want to yield when he felt he was absolutely correct either. But, he knew just as well that doing so wouldn’t be very good for showing them all that they were fine. He could keep a lid on it. He even thought his reaction hadn’t been particularly bad! Maybe a little snarky, but who wouldn’t be like that in the situation he was faced with?

Most of all, he could feel Trisha bridaling, and knew that there wasn’t any way forward through that mire that didn’t involve her getting more stressed out. Did she hate his opinion? Was it more that? Or more that she thought he was going to start an argument? Either way, he didn’t want to feel scorned by her. He didn’t want the separation between them to widen in the space between true love.

But they were all treating it like it was an inevitable explosion. Like something awful was going to happen just because he got a little mad. They couldn’t handle him being upset. Clearly because they were afraid of the two giants in the room getting into some sort of shouting match. They were brothers, for God’s sake. Cass had siblings; had she never had an argument with them that was over ten seconds later? They were taught to not hold grudges like that.

Leon could easily read his little brother’s twisting face. It was the same one that the frustrated toddler used to get when his favorite hammer toy got taken away because he was hitting Junior with it. The look that almost seemed threatening if it wasn’t attached to something so adorable. He still saw Casey that way so often, it was hard not to want to baby him.

”We’re all good! I’m good, at least-”
The oven timer went off for hot sandwiches, and Leon bent back down to pull the tray out as Casey’s head twisted from Leon and Cass, to Reyna, then back to Trisha.

”Was I giving not good vibes?” he asked openly.

”You both were! I ain’t dealing with you two getting all shouty at each other today… You can punch anything out at a gym later!” Cass responded, making sure to spread the ‘blame’. Not that she was blaming either of them. Sure, she wouldn’t have been as worried if she didn’t know Casey was in a shit place right now… But even in a good place, the two had issues before. Like that crazy time in the store where Casey pulled rank! Sure, they hadn’t outright fought, but shit had been tense.

It wasn’t such an easy thing to answer for Reyna, whose focus had mainly been on Trisha. If she mentioned that she could see the increasing panic, Trisha would either panic more or double down on being perfectly fine. She’d become incredibly fake- neither was something Reyna wanted to happen.

"A little. I figured it wasn’t the time… And I’m afraid I’m a little too used to stopping my younger brother’s from fighting. Perhaps that feeling slipped in." She ended up settling on as an explanation.

At least with things calming back down, Trisha was able to as well. She didn’t actually respond to Casey verbally, instead half shaking her head and turning around so that she could properly hug into him. She was just so on edge right now. A slightly harsher tone set off her anxiety… Because she was constantly waiting for another fight. She shouldn’t be. She should trust that he’d really be able to manage. But he kept almost starting fights with her.

It was difficult, because each time the base level her anxiety went back to was higher.

After hugging him for a moment, she spoke up quietly.
“I was just worried Cass might try to punch you.”

”Aw, Trisha, don’t slander me like that! I said I punch assholes. So I’d only punch either of ‘em if they really started acting that way!” Cass let out a joke huff, already going for the hot sandwiches, fingers wriggling as she reached for them fresh out the oven.

Suddenly, he really did just want to go back upstairs. How could he allow himself to be baited into a conversation, then feel like the bad guy for holding back even though he’d done everything he could? It really wasn’t good enough… And if it wasn’t good enough around this group of people, how was it ever going to be good enough in a big party full of people? So, rather than protest further, Casey simply took what they’d said to him, and decided to shut the fuck up altogether. It was a lot easier just not saying anything than it was accidentally overexplaining and then covering for it in the end.

He hugged Trisha just that little bit tighter, energy changing slightly around her as she’d be able to feel him lose a little wind in the sails. At least Leon didn’t skip a beat. Picking up a couple sandwiches for himself, he pointed down at the hotplate full of them.

”Want one? There’s vegetarian and vegan options as well.” he offered to Reyna, as if having the variety was going to convince her where she otherwise wouldn’t have been.

”Better be quick or I’ll eat ‘em all!” Cass added, stuffing one right into her mouth like an absolute animal. It didn’t even bother her that it was hot.

Thankfully Reyna was used to Cass’ horrendous eating habits, so the sight of it didn’t destroy her own appetite. She smiled.
"I’ll have one… That should be enough for me. I don’t need the extra fuel."

Trisha, obviously, didn’t plan to eat anything more. She concentrated on Casey, hands moving up to rub his back as she looked up at him with gentle concern. It wasn’t because of how she reacted that he was feeling down, was it? Assuming that was how he was feeling. Certainly less energised than before. It probably wasn’t just her. It was probably everyone. Not just her. Because if it was just her, he wouldn’t be hugging her like this.

“Do you want one? A sandwich?” She asked softly.

”No thank you.” he replied in an equally soft, if not distant tone.

He was trying to figure out excuses that wouldn’t be excuses to run back upstairs and lock himself away out of embarrassment. His cheeks were getting warm, and he couldn’t tell if it was that, or frustration. Either way, his appetite certainly wasn’t there anymore, and he’d put the beer down on the counter to back up slightly and lean against the fridge.

Trisha followed his slight move back, though hesitantly. She was clearly beginning to clock out of the surrounding conversation too, tunnel visioning on Casey. She wasn’t sure what to do, though, or what he wanted. He was the one who’d come into this feeling so strongly about pretending to be fine… Not that she didn’t want to either. She hated people figuring out something was wrong. But if he was dropping the act a bit, what did that mean? Should they leave, but how?

Reyna glanced at the couple as she pushed off the back of the couch she was leaning against, choosing not to use her channeler to read them. The temptation would just lead to wanting to fix something she couldn’t fix.

"Before I get my hands greasy… Do you want your main present, Cass? Seeing as Trisha’s here too." Reyna said, reaching for the gift bag she’d brought down with her and holding it up.

Cass’ eyes widened and lit up at the same time, half a sandwich hanging out of her mouth. She tilted her head back to quickly gobble it down.
”There’s more?!”

"I did say the beer was just part of it." Reyna laughed, moving forward to hold it out towards Cass. Cass wiped her hands on her shorts before bouncing over to take the bag with an excited grin.
"This one’s from me, Trisha and Diyah."

“And Casey.” Trisha spoke up slightly. She had paid for half of it, after all. Her original plan had been to get Cass a joint gift from her and Casey, but when Reyna suggested getting something all together it had made things easier. It meant they could get her something quite valuable as well.

It was a pretty big bag, and Cass pulled a pretty hefty, wrapped box out of it. It was small enough to fit in a backpack, but pretty decently sized. She didn’t wait to rip into it, letting out an excited gasp.
”Holy shit, no way! You- How did you know the best fucking brand to get?! What the fuck!?”

"Because I listen to you." Reyna smiled.

Cass grinned, holding up the box that she’d been clutching to show it off. It was a soldering station. A very nice one at that. For most people, it was an odd gift. But for Cass, who loved playing around with circuits and all sorts of shit, it was great.

"And I was concerned you’d burn your apartment down if you kept using your old one. Which you said multiple times was old and starting to smell bad whenever you used it."

”It wasn’t that bad… But this is amazing! Thank you!” Cass wanted to hug all three of them, but figured that Trisha and Casey probably didn’t want that… At least, she couldn’t tell. So before getting to the thankful hugging, she spun around and shoved the box towards Leon.

”Look, Babe! Now it’s gonna be so much easier to make funky mini computers that I then blast with my Lux! And I bet I’ll stop burning myself everytime I solder shit!”

Leon looked down at the machine with a confused but discerning eye. The box had a decent display of what was inside, and he leered down at it to compare it with the tool she’d been using thus far. It was definitely higher quality, he could tell just by the sheer weight of it, and the fact that he couldn’t hear or feel any rogue play between the components within. Everything was solidly built and fitted together like a glove.

”She says it ain’t bad, but she can turn her super nose off. Honestly, I’m grateful for a gift like this.”
He looked up at Rey, then the happy corner couple.
”Thank you guys. We’ll both get some use out of it. Babe, is this the one that doubles as a wand?” he joked, turning the tender moment into something pervy.

Casey was already having a hard time dealing with being pointed out. He’d barely had anything to do with the gift. Trisha asked him if it was fine, he said yes. It wasn’t his gift. Frankly, he hadn’t gotten anything for her. Not intentionally, but just out of ignorance. He wasn’t a gift person at heart. He suddenly feared having to remember an anniversary, or some other special date that didn’t happen to fall on a major holiday. Birthdays escaped him more than anything else. It only made it harder to remember Trisha’s birthday, because her birthday wasn’t actually on a Holiday! He’d never in a million years remember if it was before Christmas or after!

Still, he patted Trisha’s arm as if to encourage her celebration with them so neither of them seemed like they were trying to bring the mood down intentionally. But, he was straining. It was harder being made to seem like he was a part of something that he wasn’t… Like it was some kind of pity.

”It can be if you’re brave enough!” Cass cackled, grinning up at Leon and waggling her eyebrows.
”Or crazy enough!”

"You’re welcome. Honestly, I’m glad it really was the right one. Though I’m not dealing with any returns if you decide to use it for something like that." Reyna said with a light laugh.

It was difficult for Trisha to insert herself, even as Casey encouraged her. Normally she’d roll her eyes at the current pervy turn, but that wouldn’t really be celebrating. It was pretty far from acting excited. But she wasn’t sure how to get excited. She was overthinking how to act so she seemed normal. Not too much, and not too little. She could do it, she’d said she could. Especially since Casey wasn’t saying anything. She had to cover for them both.

“I want my money back if you do that.” Trisha intoned drily, shifting around so that she was facing everyone else again without moving away from Casey. Then, she smiled.
“I’m glad you like it. I’m also glad it’ll save your nose, Leon… My senses are normal and it was bad enough when I lived with Cass.”

”Don’t lie, you’re just glad that I ain’t gonna accidentally burn this building down now!” Cass teased with a bright grin.

“If I was worried about that, I would’ve thrown away your old one when we lived together before.”

”Whoa?! Did you hear that? Trisha thought about throwing away my precious soldering iron!” Cass gasped, clutching at her chest jokingly.

”I’ve certainly thought about crying while having to smell it. It lingers. Even when you used it hours ago, I can tell you used it. The smell of plasma and chemical changes. And the alloy of whatever tin and other bullshit they use in the actual solder.” Leon continued, adding to the visceral description of Cass’ hobby.

”If you’re attached to the old one, leave it up in my office one day. I’ll do something special with it for you.” Casey quietly offered, knowing what nostalgia and sentiment could do for the human soul.

Of course, what he meant he’d do with it wasn’t clear, so Leon had to make the joke in turn.
”I swear to God if that thing comes back on its second life as an actual vibrator-”

”Why the fuck would I make-”
The tone in his voice was immediately harsher than it had to be, and he stopped on a dime to pivot away from the attitude.
”-There’s a lot of things it could be that don’t have to have sex involved. I’m sure I can come up with something more creative.”

”Alright, I’m just making sure. I don’t think I could handle it.” Leon replied, brushing over Casey’s initial reaction thanks to his quick retraction and instant deescalation.

”Uh huh, sure, you couldn’t handle it… But it was the first thing you thought of! Suspicious.” Cass waggled her eyebrows at Leon, teasingly nudging him. She turned to Casey with an incredibly bright smile.
”I’d love it if you could do something with it! I’ve had it since I was… Uh, fourteen I think! Over ten years so, yeah, I’m pretty attached! It’s like my baby. My inanimate, hard working baby.”

Trisha looked up at Casey silently, a mixture of care and concern she couldn’t quite hide. But he’d, once again, pulled himself back down. She shifted her arm slightly so she could grasp his hand, gently squeezing it, expression turning into a smile towards him. She was trying her best to support him, which meant a positive reaction when he managed to push through… Right?

“That’s a really sweet offer, Casey.” She said softly.

Cass nodded, getting more excited as she thought about it.
”Would you be making it into like… Some kinda nice thing to display? Or something I could use for something else?! Oh- I guess you said you’d come up with something creative, so you still gotta figure that out?”

”It could be anything.” he replied simply, not outright acknowledging Trisha, but squeezing her hand several times when she praised him, with his chin coming down slightly to brush against the top of her head.
”It just feels weird. Obviously, they all knew something you’d appreciate. I’d rather do something that actually feels like it's from me.”

Leon nodded his head, keeping his frown from reaching his face as he realized what Casey meant. Trisha’d been kind enough to rope him into the group gift, yet he still pushed against it. Like being shoehorned into a group wasn’t enough. He hoped that was purely because he meant it, and not just because of how he was feeling. After all, doing something because you felt obligated, like making a gift for someone when you were perfectly welcome to be included in a group gift, seemed like a slap in the face to those bringing you along in the first place.

As far as he knew, it wasn’t like Casey had made any kind of huge deal about Cass’ birthday. He hadn’t even seemed to be making a big deal out of Trisha’s… Though, he assumed that was more because of the timing. Their grand escape was the birthday present neither of them wanted, he bet.

”So, if you can think of anything before I go around messing with it, speak your mind.” he added finally, looking back down at Trisha finally and kissing her forehead again from behind.

”Ay ay captain!” Cass jokingly saluted him.
”I’ll have a think and let you know! I can grab it and get it up to you, uh… Well, not today! Don’t wanna trigger Leon’s poor nose.”

She reached up to pinch Leon’s cheek teasingly, grinning at him. She wasn’t really reading into things enough to think about the whole group gift thing, too excited about getting her precious old soldering iron made into something new.

The other two women did notice it. Reyna wasn’t upset, because Trisha was the one who asked for Casey to join. It being a four way split, technically, had allowed them to buy such a nice one… But if he wanted to make Cass something more personal too, she understood.

"It’ll become something that smells better for everyone’s sake, I hope." She said lightly.

Trisha was a bit more upset about it, though she didn’t show it. If he’d wanted to do something, he could have said no. She hadn’t forced him to contribute… She’d assumed that because it was her friend, it was her job to ‘organise’ it anyway. Even if Reyna was the one who organised it in the end. But she couldn’t let herself get upset at him. Not right now. It was such a silly thing too, and it really was sweet that he wanted to make Cass something… She just wished he didn’t have to act like the group gift was something he was forced into. It made her feel thoughtless.

“Don’t give it to him too soon, or I won’t see him for a few days.” She tried to joke, smiling up at Casey.

Leon grinned away, knowing that nobody could quite top what he had in mind when it came to gifts. But, Casey’s mastery of Orange Lux and extensive skill as a craftsman gave Leon plenty of reasons to trust that it was going to be great. He was just thankful that the guy was always willing to work no matter what. It made everything else a little easier to accept.

”Or, you could give it to me right now and it could be done by the end of the day.” Casey replied sharply, hand gripping slightly on Trisha’s arm as he thought for a moment that he found an escape plan for them that didn’t look totally desperate.

”Oh sure! I can go get it just now- Don’t wanna lose whatever idea’s forming in your head.” Cass winked at Casey, as if she was assuming he wanted to do it right now because he had some amazing idea rather than wanting to escape. She wasn’t stupid, so she knew… It was so fucking obvious! But, they’d seen both of them. It’d even been quite nice! So if they wanted to leave, that was fine by her.

“Wouldn’t it be easier for us to come up with you?” Trisha said, making it clear she planned to leave too. Just in case they expected her to stick around herself… But she couldn’t do that.
“Unless you’re worried about leaving Reyna alone with Leon.”

”Oh, nah… I’m afraid of leaving Leon alone with Reyna! All the shit she can tell him!”

"I’m already remembering the worst incidents to share." Reyna played along with a smile.

Leon did his best to smile it off as Casey left his glass of beer and everything. He was already wobbling around with Trisha trapped in his arms, making breakneck speed for the elevator exit.

”Casey? You didn’t want to stay and smoke?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

”Well, you know it’s gonna be a long night anyway. This’ll give me something to look forward to. Trisha, you’re- It’s good, right? You were… The bees…?” he tried to think of an excuse that didn’t make it seem like he wasn’t fleeing. Of course, he didn’t want to force Trisha out of time spent with Reyna, but she’d also said a million times that she’d rather be with him than anywhere else. So, it was only natural she’d be coming back up with him. She even made it sound like that, and suddenly he was thinking about why he was putting her on the spot!

”Who am I kidding, of course you are.” he managed an actual smile and a giggle at her, patting her on the shoulder.
”We will be upstairs, Reyna. If you wanted to visit, neither of us are gonna tell you that you can’t, I don’t think. You’re spending some time here, right? You’ll get the chance.” he added, making it sound like they weren’t going to be at the party later.

"I’m here until tomorrow afternoon… I’ll make sure to visit before I leave. There’s a few things I need to give Trisha anyway." Reyna smiled good naturedly, eyes flickering from Casey to Trisha. She didn’t protest their leaving, especially since it seemed to be a mutual decision.

“Sure, that’d be nice.” Trisha responded, even though the idea of having to host someone for however briefly tomorrow sounded awful. But it was Reyna. Her close friend… Who’d unfortunately seen her at low points she’d rather no one see her at. There were worse people to see then.

“And I’m good, you’re right… I also need to check the bees. Make sure they’re growing well.” She tried to cover up Casey’s half nonsense talking, forming it into an actual excuse for her to leave that wasn’t just ‘I’m attached to the hip with my fiance.’

With them hurrying out so quickly, Cass only had a moment to worryingly grimace at Leon. She patted his arm.
”Keep Rey entertained, alright! I’ll be back soon.”

Leon leaned forward and caught her on the back of the head with a kiss before letting the two of them walk out and up the stairs. He turned to Rey immediately with a frown.

”Well? Not so great for an impression, I guess.” he said calmly.

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Saturday 16th December, around 12.
Cannery Building.

Finally it was here, the big day. Her big day.

Not that Cass was self centred enough to need a day. She would've been pretty happy to just have the small thing she originally planned... But she was a social butterfly. Or more a social wolf! Either way, the more it had been planned over the last week the more excited she got for it.

For the two of them, the last week had been less stressful than it had been for the couple upstairs. Aside from the aftermath of the Dollhouse raid, it had just been mundane ups and downs. Some bickering here and there, some more boundaries set, but it was all the kind of thing they easily moved past. Not that Cass found it difficult to bounce back from even the most difficult things. Overall, it was fun! Leon had actually been around again, rather than spending crazy hours out working on making sure they weren't all going to die in a shadowy explosion. Cass wasn't exactly the clingy type, but obviously she wanted to spend a bunch of time with her boyfriend. Especially being as extroverted as she was!

Which meant today was something she was looking forward to. Hanging out with her friends, meeting a ton of his… It was going to be great.

Reyna was coming earlier, and as the day just crept into the afternoon, she texted when she was about five minutes away. Which meant dragging Leon outside to wait for her. Not that Cass really needed to drag him anywhere, since there was basically no reluctance on his part to go anywhere with her... But she'd still physically grabbed his hand and pulled in her rush to get out. At least Reyna had said when she was leaving too, so they weren't interrupted mid fun- they made sure that was stopped with a couple of hours to spare!

So they were just outside the Cannery building entrance, with Cass bouncing from one foot to the other like she often did. She hadn't really cared to dress up- that would be an effort for later on before the party, when she'd really put some effort in. If anyone was bothered by her wearing just a tank top and small sports shorts, that was on them! At least she wasn't just straight up wearing boxers outside... And it was warm. Fifteen degrees in December was insane for her. Combined with her magic meaning her body temperature ran higher, she wasn't really inclined to bundle up right now.

"-And that's why I'm never drinking Tequila again! Just the smell of it makes me wanna puke!" Cass had been rambling away, animatedly telling Leon a story of a birthday celebration during her university days. Her twentieth, where she was pissed off at the insane laws in this country that meant she still couldn't legally go out drinking. So, obviously, she'd gone absolutely crazy at a house party. She didn't even remember half the night, but from what she did remember, she had some crazy stories. Mostly her doing insane shit. Because somehow sober Cass did have inhibitions, and blackout drunk Cass lost all of them. It was just impossible for her to get that drunk now... Though she tried her hardest to get close during the party last week.

"God, my hangover was awful. I don't even remember some've the funnest bits! Like Rey'll tell you about how I ended up just stripping at one point, and it took her and Diyah to tackle me and wrap me up in a blanket! Also supposedly I pulled out one've my posters of you and started sobbing about- Oh, look, there she is!"

Cass pointed to the car just pulling into the car park with a wide grin and massive wave. Not that she got one back, since Reyna was a safe driver. She was right on time... Probably because she remembered exactly how to get here from the last time. Remembering that, Cass spun away from looking across all the cars to grin up at Leon.

"Sooooo, how d'ya feel 'bout going back to where we had our first date?"

”Dude, that wasn’t our first date. Meeting for the first time never counts, or I’d have had a million first dates and like ten second ones. But, the place we met is pretty cool: There’s a reason we went that day. It’s fun. It’s always been fun.”

Leon had been feeling pretty good about things surrounding his life. Casey was in a bit of a crisis, but when wasn’t he? Leon could deal with that and more, so long as the engine within kept churning. Carnal pleasures kept her happy, and with Cass, every day found some kind of joy in flesh and gluttony. He reckoned they were honestly pretty perfect for one another, and so he treated every new day like it was more and more of a treat. Especially with Cass’ sickness ever-looming over their heads, every day had to be made special in some way.

He’d started working on music again, picking up rhythm guitar from where he’d left off as an Adept. She was great for inspiration: Cass always had something fun going on in her head, and it gave him plenty to feel like singing about. It was a much different tone than what he’d written before. Still heavy, still brash and bold, but hopeful. He’d written so much ominous and foreboding music that lyrics like “Picking up the pieces of a world in flames - You woke me up from the endless pain” seemed like he was writing about flowers and puppies.

And, frankly, he’d been just as excited about today as Cass had been. Not only to celebrate her, but to show her off to all the people she hadn’t been able to meet yet. He’d been getting texts from his own friends all morning: Or, at least their personal assistants. Some people coming to this were generally used to a lifestyle that meant the mundane aspects of their world wound up handled by other people.

Though, Instapeg seemed to be a lot more active in terms of the group of people he considered friends. Real friends, rather than Temple cronies or close family. Cass was getting happy birthday shoutouts on the reels by the handful, from people she’d never met. Carter Druso, Kate Rolans, Sergio Cardonna, and many other massive names in Sports Entertainment. Leon seemed to know everyone cursorily, and those who either couldn’t manage, or couldn’t be bothered to attend, paid some amount of lip service to the happy couple.

Maybe it was a little strange that so many people knew his business, but at the same time, it was incredibly exciting as an experience to be acknowledged by the heroes of Cass’ youth. Leon had been explicitly clear that there were people there he was keeping as a surprise for Cass. He only hoped that it didn’t put Cass’ other normal friends off…
Even the Temple Members who were in attendance were there strictly because of their connection to Leon and his businesses. People who were used to at least brushing shoulders with famous fighters and athletes, in order to maximize the chances that Cass would be the only person in the building fangirling out.

And that was part of her present ultimately. The chance to be around so many people who she’d only dreamed of meeting previously. He hoped it was a good preliminary to what was the actual gift.

”Are you gonna show Rey all your new trophy Reels? You’ve at least gotta show her the one you got from Mercado.” being Mercado Alencia, the Iberian Fear. A Spanish boxer whom Cass had actually met on her own as a younger girl during a meet and greet in Manchester.

Mercado had a great memory in spite of the concussions, and had surprised Cass in his Reel by recounting the event in very clear detail. Clear enough that it was shocking to both of them.

”I dunnnooo- she’s already gonna be dealing with a lotta it later! What if she turns around and just drives off?!” Cass shouted, ever dramatic, with her hands flinging up into the air. Not that she was actually worried about it. Anxiety wasn’t a thing she felt often. Only over very specific scenarios… But she was aware, at least right now before she got insanely excited, that going on and on about that kind of shit could annoy her friends. The whole two of them were able to go- which was pretty decent, considering how spread out across the country they were!

Sal had wanted to come, but he was flying back to Manchester tonight. Which was probably a good thing for her sanity with how competitive he got.

”I guess just that one, cause it’s so cool- I can’t believe he remembered, what the fuck? I mean sure, I was one of the only girls there and, like, one of the youngest too- but there were so many people! God, I just make a massive impression, I guess! On everyone I’m a fan of!” She grinned brightly, nudging Leon with her elbow.

”I am gonna show them all off to Jack when I get home for the holidays… Oh he’s gonna be so fucking jealous! I can’t wait.” She bounced a couple of times in eager anticipation of how jealous her older brother was going to be.

Reyna had parked now, though she was taking her time on getting out. She seemed to be pulling a… Wooden crate out of the trunk of her car? Seemed a bit much for a one night stay.

”Oh, shit, we should help!” Cass was off before Leon could say anything, whether agreement or disagreement, bounding towards Reyna with outstretched arms.
”Reeeyyyyyy, lemme take it, I got it!”

Reyna laughed, not resisting as Cass shoved in to grab the crate from her. Otherwise she just had a backpack slung over her shoulder.
"Sure, feel free to carry part of your present."

”Ooo- What is it, what is it?!”

"It’s not really a good present if I just tell you- Please don’t shake it."

Leon was happy to take up the burden, ensuring that the box actually didn’t get shaken due to Cass’ rapid saddle movements. One leg up, the other on the ground, just like a cowboy getting up on the horse. He giggled at her excitement, hoping that Rey was more prepared than her other friend. After all, Leon wasn’t dumb. He knew neither Trisha, nor Casey wanted to be there in that capacity. And in their private discussions, Cass obviously would’ve forgiven them both if they said they weren’t coming. But, they were. Thus, having some good balance between the low and the high of the two people (Trisha and Reyna), meant that they’d hopefully have to do a lot less damage control than they would otherwise.

”C’mon, give it over. I don’t trust you not to shake as far as I can throw you. Which… Is probably further than sensible in the case of that joke.”
His hands scooped it from underneath, twisting and peeling the box away from Cass.
”How was the drive, Rey? Get stuck anywhere coming up?” he asked casually.

"It was surprisingly smooth. The most difficult part was getting out of Portland in the first place." Reyna replied with a smile, shutting the trunk and locking her car now that Cass (and the box) were out of the way. She was more than prepared for this level of Cass excitement. While it wasn’t something she’d be able to handle every day, she was fine with it when it happened. Like Cass, her mood wasn’t one easily dampened- though her base state was the complete opposite, normally calmly enjoying herself.

Cass was pouting exaggeratedly up at Leon for taking the box away from her- it was her present! And a chance to show off her incredible strength by easily carrying it in one hand… But it was fine cause she probably would shake it too much and break whatever was inside!

”Hell yeah, I’m glad it was smooth!” She easily swapped from her fake upsetness to grinning at Reyna. Now that her hands were free, she had the perfect opportunity to pull the taller woman into a tight hug. Not so tight it’d hurt, but certainly tight enough that there was no way Reyna could escape it.

Not that she wanted to- she wasn’t Trisha. Rey was happy to hug her back, though she did start patting her after a moment.
"Hey, not so tight. You really have been working on your magic, haven’t you? You didn’t try to crush me last time."

Cass let go, turning her head to Leon to waggle her eyebrows at him.
”Oh, you wouldn’t believe how much I can do now… C’mon, c’mon, let’s get inside! We’re gonna show you where you’re staying the night, then we’re gonna hang out at Lee’s place! Real chill, though! Oh- I’ll show you my place first, though! It just ain’t so big, and he takes up half the couch, so it ain’t the best for hanging out. ‘Specially since I texted Trisha to come join us with Casey! Though she said it’d be a while, cause they’re in the middle of something.”

Thanks to Leon, Cass roughly knew that neither Trisha or Casey were in an amazing place. At least, not in a social place. So why drag them to even more socialisation? Well… She figured maybe they’d be able to enjoy something smaller, and it’d take the pressure off actually coming tonight. Since she knew what Trisha was like. Overly worried about what Cass would think if she didn’t come! Of course, Cass wanted them there, but she wanted them to be comfortable more than anything!

"That sounds good. We can share your present, then. And however much I see Trisha, I’ll be alright with." Reyna said easily.

”Who-Who-Whoa! Who said anything ‘bout sharing it?!”

”Hey, I didn’t ask for a selfish birthday girl. Sharing’s caring! I assume I should bring this downstairs with me? I still need to take down that picture…” Leon replied with a grin on his face.

After all, he didn’t really have company usually. So, putting Genesis into a different room wasn’t something he usually thought about. At least with the spare bedroom free, he could easily tuck it in there and close the door.

”You’re gonna get whatever birthday girl I feel like being, and like it!” Cass retorted, sticking her tongue out playfully at him.

"Assuming downstairs is where we’ll be then yes, it would be best to bring it down there." Reyna answered more helpfully. Though, Cass had no idea what was in the box. It was the less exciting present, in Rey’s mind, though the other one was much smaller.

”Actually, while you’re at it, you should replace that picture with a massive one of me.” Cass added, really doubling down on the joking self centred attitude.

Leon laughed in return, shouldering the box and turning his body.
”I’ll somehow get my Orange Lux back and get it taken care of for you. It’ll be bigger, even. Take up the whole wall.” he laughed, waving the two of them off as he made way for the door and hooked the left down the stairs, leaving the two girls to themselves.

Cass grinned at his back, ushering Reyna over to the lifts. They’d had one of the other apartments on her floor cleaned up for Rey to use for the night… Though not the one Greyson and Linqian used while he was dying. That would’ve been a bit morbid. The other one that wasn’t being used as Cass’ sick apartment.

"It’s good to see the two of you are still doing well." Reyna commented as Cass brought her to the apartment, pushing the door open.

”Of course we are! Did you have that little faith in me?!” Cass pouted, stepping to the side to let Reyna in. It was simply decorated as no one lived in it- all the essentials were there, but not much else.

"After Trisha, you have the worst track record."

”C’mon, it ain’t a fair comparison! You’ve dated like three people since I met you, Diyah’s only dated five, and Sal’s eternally single! But that one boyfriend he did have was kinda weird!”

"I think most people would consider having no nerdy hobbies as being normal."

”Nuh uh. Even Diyah has a nerdy hobby, and she’s the most normal person I know.” Cass shook her head.
”Do you wanna get settled in? I can leave you for a bit, go down and make sure Lee’s getting that new picture of me just right.”

Reyna laughed. She’d dumped her backpack on the couch, rummaging in it to pull out her normal denim jacket, which she slung over her arm, along with a large gift bag.
"No, I’m alright. I’ll have time to get ready for the actual party later, yes?"

”Yup!”

Of course, Cass didn’t want to risk going down while that picture was still there. She’d grown numb to it in the time she’d spent in Leon’s apartment, but that didn’t mean she wanted to subject anyone else to it!

So Reyna got a full tour of Cass’ flat. Not that there were many rooms, but she had plenty to show off- including her dormant but totally alive computer. That actually dragged some kind of shocked reaction out of Rey.

When they headed downstairs, Cass was confident she’d given Leon more than enough time. Even though there were a gazillion locks on the door, he’d managed to leave them all unlocked somehow, which meant she didn’t have to pull out the key she still had for the place. Instead she just shoved the door open and bounced in.

”Leeeeooonn, Babbyyy, you better not have opened my present!”

It had been simple enough taking the picture down. It made the safe behind it pretty well noticeable, but he didn’t think anyone coming down would be concerned over it. It was empty anyway: After all, he had another one in a different spot in the apartment. Their Dad had made sure there was plenty of squirreling space, and Clarissa had certainly helped out in that regard with her magic. The floor safe was more of a vault, with a ladder that led down into the blackness. Only, the entry hole wasn’t big enough to fit the painting, thus he’d not bothered storing it down there.

So in Casey’s old room it went, and with the door closed, he was free to mingle about the apartment. He’d gotten coffee made, and had texted Casey to make sure they were still good.

L: All good my man?
C: :(
L: Better down here. You two need space.
C: :(

Leon shook his head at that. He loved Casey, truly… But these moods were the worst. He just locked down, like the world was going to end. It’d been the only point of contention he had felt when the guy lived down there. He didn’t eat for weeks at some points. Just locked the doors, covered his windows, and shuffled furniture around until he was bunkered up. He wondered if Trisha was letting him do that or not. Probably not…

But, Cass’ voice interrupted his train of thought.

”I did! And it’s all over the place!” he laughed. As the two of them cleared the hall into the kitchen, he raised his hands innocently.
”Juuuuust kidding!” he grinned widely.

”What’d you think of the digs, Rey? She’s got a nice setup up there, doesn’t she?” he asked, curious to hear her friend’s judgement of the apartment he’d provided her.

"It's very nice. A perfect size for one person, I'd say. It's very cozy, everything fits well without being too cluttered. The small computer corner she has is perfect for her. I'm just surprised you're ever able to drag her away from it." Reyna smiled. She squinted as Leon came into view, aura blindingly bright while she was holding her channeler. She hadn't brought it to purposefully read them, though- it was more a discomfort without having it accessible, and the fact she had some stuff she needed in the pockets.

"I ain't that bad!" Cass protested. Her head jerked between Leon and the unopened crate, trying to decide which to tackle first. In the end she went for Leon, practically launching herself at him. Arms and legs wrapped around him completely as if she was trying to tackle him to the ground- though she didn't actually put much strength behind it, so she obviously wasn't. She leaned in to press a purposefully loud kiss to his cheek.

"I ain't that bad, am I, Babe? You don't feel like I'm aboutta abandon you for technology, do ya?!"

Reyna chuckled, moving towards the couch to lay her jacket over the back of it, letting her actually look at the two of them.
"Now that's a loaded question if I've ever heard one."

Leon gave a wry grin and chuckled aloud.

”Honestly, I don’t mind the days she’s caught in the hole. I know it’s more hyperfixation than it is dedication, but I think her passions get put on display regardless of the cause.”

His arms were wrapped around her, holding her up so she didn’t have to cling too hard.

”Plus, even if the damn thing grew legs and a dick, I think she’d still like me more. It's the fantasy, y’know? I am who I am!” he winked.

”Which is pretty damn awesome! Obviously, I ain’t caught dead dating non awesome people.” Cass laughed, using her new found arm freedom to squish his cheeks playfully.

”Though… I could totally give my computer legs and a dick! I ain’t ever thought ‘bout it, but it’s possible!”

Reyna groaned softly and shook her head at Cass, though she was still smiling.
"Please, hearing it breathe was enough. I don’t need that image."

”What?! Leon came up with it! It ain’t like it’d be anything more than a magical experiment! That ain’t actually something I think I’d be into… Not enough to bother, at least! I’m plenty satisfied there anyway.” Cass grinned, patting Leon’s arm.
”Lemme down, Babe, I wanna open my giiiffttt.”

Leon looked down at her, eyes narrowing.

”Dude, you can get down. You got yourself up here!”

As he said that, he was sure to squeeze around her just a little tighter to tease her.

”I know you can! Don’t be scared of heights!” he laughed.

It was always a welcome moment when he got to get her back for the constant cycle of soft bullying. In tender moments, the facade faded away into two very sweet and sappy people. But, this kind of tender moment was for laughs and giggles. For a little teasing, as Leon felt her starting to wriggle out, and made the effort to take steps away from her gift just to make it harder.

”I know you’ve got this!” he prodded again, starting to really laugh as her strength built up.

”I don’t wanna beat you to the ground in front’ve Rey! We’ll never live it down!” Cass wailed around her own laughter. She was doing her best to pry Leon’s arms to the side to give her enough room to wriggle out, making progress as Green Lux really started to enhance her muscles. But he was still so annoyingly strong! And it was a pain to get out of a grip like this!

”And I don’t wanna go all noodley in front of her either!”

"Do whatever you need to. I won’t judge." Reyna commented from the side with soft laughter, leaning against the couch and folding her arms.

”Ugghhhh.”

Cass made a split second decision about which was cooler, before thinking fuck it, and going with the weird option. She got rapidly longer, thinner and floppier until she practically slid out of Leon’s arms. It was like she was made of rubber. She didn’t even bother solidifying herself as her feet hit the ground. Instead she flopped over, wrapping around Leon’s legs completely.

”Now you’re trapped!”

Leon stuck his leg up in the air, both arms sweeping out to present the scene to Rey.

”Look at the absolute control! Not a lot of people can do shit like this with such rapidity, I’m not sure if you know… But, this is pretty impressive. We have a lot of fun pushing her limits!” he explained casually, grinning from ear to ear as he did his best one-legged hop back over to her gift.

”Now, get off! You won again!” he beamed widely, looking down at her unchanged face.

”Heh heh heh, I always win!” Cass cackled, unravelling herself from around Leon’s leg. Her arms hit the ground first, doing a roll towards the box and shifting back to normal on the way. She landed perfectly on her ass in front of it.

Reyna’s eyebrows were creeping closer to her hairline, though she was still laughing over the goofy scene in front of her. It was impressive. Incredibly impressive. She didn’t know many Green Adepts personally, but she knew enough magical theory to understand what went into it.

"It’s very impressive, considering what she was doing a month ago. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone improve that rapidly, though my experience is limited to a few Adeptal families. I’m surprised you’re doing limit testing already."

Cass’ near permanent smile faded for a moment, though thankfully she had her back turned to both of them as she was pulling open the box. She loved how much she could do with her magic, but she’d only improved so quickly because of the fucking curse!
”Well, I’m just that awesome- Ooo, beer! Hell yeah, thanks Rey!”

The crate was filled with a variety of craft beers. There seemed to be a couple of bottles of each flavour, and most of the flavours seemed pretty interesting. Cass pulled one out to start squinting at it. At least the excitement of the present opening outweighed the thoughts of her illness, and hopefully Rey wouldn’t ask too many questions about how Cass had gotten so strong. She’d need to tell her other friends eventually, but it wasn’t exactly a fun prospect.

”They’re from the brewery in Chicago… You seemed to enjoy them when you visited, so I got you a selection when I was back home. Some are even unreleased flavours, since the owner is so friendly with my parents.” Reyna explained.
”Those are the smaller present.”

”Small?! This is a lotta beer!” Cass started rummaging through the box, trying to figure out what she wanted to go first. She twisted her head around to grin at Leon.
”Want one, Babe?”

It made Leon terribly happy that Cass had such attentive friends. Rey’s thoughtful gift from a place they couldn’t easily get to made a good impression on him.

”Absolutely! Thank yooooou!” he sauntered up, kissing the top of her head before peering into the beer crate.

They were packaged nicely! So nicely, in fact, that they hadn’t even really rattled around in the case when he was coming downstairs. He knew there was liquid in it based on how moving it felt, but he figured there was some sealed vat of British tea rather than a bunch of individual bottles. One he picked up because it had a bit more color than the other bottles. Bright orange, in fact.

”Oh fuck, is this carrot?”

Turning the bottle in his hands revealed a much different flavor, however.

”Mouth-Smoking Malt? This… Has fucking cayanne pepper in it.”

His eyes narrowed down at Cass, then over at Reyna. Then, ultimately, squarely back to Cass.

”She wouldn’t buy this as a joke… The others seem good! So… You must actually…-” He kept his eyes narrowed at Cass, then slowly let the bottle twist in his hand until it was outstretched to Cass. He held it there, assuming she’d either laugh, or do the worse alternative…

”Spicy drink for a spicy gal!” Cass grinned, reaching out to snatch the bottle from him. She flicked her thumb up to flick off the cap, staring back at him the whole time.

Sure, she’d never had Mouth-Smoking Malt in her life! She had no idea why it was in there! But she was absolutely going to take the opportunity to fuck with him again. So long as Rey didn’t blow her cover and out that it was a joke.

Reyna watched, pressing her lips together to stay silent. What had actually happened was she gave the owner a list of the ones she knew Cass liked, and her general taste to fill the box. Obviously, he’d snuck in a few… Interesting ones. But she didn’t want to ruin Cass’ fun- or miss watching her drink it.

”You don’t like your beer so hot it blows your head off, Babe? You’re missing out.” Then she knocked it back, taking a massive swig from the bottle.

Holy shit!

Cass had a good spice tolerance. She also had magic. She’d just underestimated the strength of cayenne pepper infused beer and not bothered magically bolstering her tongue and throat. So they felt like they were on fire. Tears immediately spilled down her cheeks, and she sniffed to stop her nose from running everywhere as her body reacted to the intense spice.

”See? Soooo fucking good, I’m crying outta joy!”

The beer was cursory to the strong pepper that crept into Leon’s nose. His eyes began to water immediately, mouth opening on reaction like a dog on a hot summer day. He didn’t even have to have a sip to know that it was disgusting, and nothing he’d ever want to try.

”Nooooo, nooooooo! No, who the fuck would drink that!? That’s not natural, that’s not even humane! It’s like pepper spray mixed with yeasty- Ugh, it’s like spicy ass! Don’t expect me anywhere near your lower extremities for the next couple days, holy shit!”

Unlike Cass, he didn’t have much of a stopgap between his own senses, and the hyperacute sensory depth of Lelou. Only, it was a bit more of a problem that she was stirred by the smell… And compelling him to take a sip.

”Leon… I want that nectar.”
”What!? Nooooo! No, please, you can feel what it’s doing to my-”
”I’ll take the pain. I’ll even reward you! Just… Drink! Drink it now!”

As if it were a machine of its own, Leon’s arm stretched out and snagged the bottle before tucking it up to his lips. His eyes were wide with fear as the wretched liquid poured into his stomach and started to form a hot ball of gas like a baby star. But he could also feel Lelou’s absolute ecstasy over the intensity and newness of this flavor. She loved spicy things. Loved it whenever Leon got the extra hot chicken, or had a particularly good Indian curry. The heat, the pain, the intensity of its foreign and unexplored nuances, all made her incredibly satisfied in even a small moment like this.

When he pulled the empty bottle away and let it clack onto the counter, he had a terribly pained face on.
”And the reward is that you won’t be tortured by Cass drinking it slowly in front of you.”

”Oh God, she lied to meeeeeeeeeeeeee!” he whined out, tilting his head back and trying not to throw it all back up.

”Awwww, Baby.” Cass’ attempt at sympathy and comfort was massively hindered by the way she was cackling like a maniac. Sure, she’d been upset for a moment when he snatched the bottle away- but she’d experienced Lelou’s sudden limb takeovers enough times now to realise what was going on.

”It’ll be ok! It’ll come out one way or another!” She continued, very unhelpfully. She did hop up onto the counter so she could reach his shoulders, massaging them in an actually comforting action.
”And now you really ain’t gotta excuse to get outta going down there!”

Unlike Trisha, Reyna had gotten to a point years ago where she was unbothered by Cass making comments like that- even if she sometimes still tried to get her friend to pull it back a bit. So instead her attention and response were about something that did actually concern her, something that was clear in her tone.

"Did his Apparition just take over part of his body?"

”Uh, yeah! It happens sometimes- but it’s fine! It’s all good now, ain’t it, Babe? Don’t gotta worry ‘bout any of that shit we told Rey last time, right?” Cass twisted her head to look at Reyna, still massaging his shoulders. The last time they’d seen her, he’d told her about his concerns about going on a rampage and hurting Cass. Far as she was aware, it wasn’t a risk anymore, since they had an agreement. She certainly wasn’t going to get hurt, considering how Lelou treated her whenever she was in charge of the body!

Lelou wasn’t one to be talked about like she wasn’t there. A mouth opened up against the side of his neck, tongue lolling out and whetting its lips before speaking.
”Contrary to your assumption, I actually didn’t take the initiative. He did! Because I asked him to!”

Lelou’s voice echoed out directly solely at Reyna, turning into a devious grin.

”From now on, you are the brewmaiden. And I expect more of such delectable nectar upon your next visit!”

Leon’s face twisted into a grimace.
”Absolutely not! You’re never going to drink that again!”

Lelou scoffed, finally letting a single eye roll to the surface of Leon’s flesh to stare at Reyna.

”Hello, gorgeous…”

Though there was some shock in her eyes, Reyna managed to keep up her calm smile. While she wasn’t used to directly interacting with Apparitions, it wasn’t quite enough to completely throw her off.

"It’s nice to meet you… Lelou, correct? Thank you for the compliment." She somehow managed to brush the strange flirting aside with politeness rather than rejection.
"Unfortunately, I’m not sure how many bottles of that drink exist. I think it was one of the experimental ones, and it seems unlikely it’ll sell."

”Aw c’mon, you’re saying me and Lelou ain’t got good taste?!” Cass gasped.

"No. Just that your taste doesn’t align with the majority."

A second mouth opened on the other side of Leon’s neck.

”Be still your adventurous heart, my little princess. We shall have our nectar yet. Leon!? We must visit the land of Chicago. Throw your human dollars at them!”

Leon shook his head, unable to do anything besides laugh while the intensity of the drink passed through him. It may not’ve been instant, but he metabolized everything fast. The horrible drink was no different.

”You’ll have to forgive us, Rey… There were a few switch-ups since you last left. But, at least you know that uh… Well, she’s getting along just fine with Cass. I think she likes her more than I do.”

”She fucks as if Death is looming, and she can outpace it!” was Lelou’s proud response, eye and mouth staring at Reyna unblinking. The smile seemed, if not evil, tellingly malicious. As if she had plans for everything she saw.
”I would devour humanity were anything to happen to Our Princess.”

At least Leon didn’t have to worry about that sort of thing anymore.

”Just, y’know, what I was saying, Rey? It, uh… We changed the dynamic a bit. Came to a better understanding of what we both want. Cohabitation, as opposed to more of a prison tower setup. Does that make sense?” he asked her, his hand climbing up to his neck and gesturing to it as if that was the evidence of their cohabitation.

It was a very different cohabitation than the main one Reyna had observed. Trisha’s Apparition rarely seemed to speak to her, never mind anyone else. But she knew that each Adjoining was different. Though Lelou was unnerving in her gaze towards her, at least she couldn’t sense any lies in what she said about Cass. Not that she could magically check without being blinded, unfortunately.

"It does. I have limited experience with Adjoined, but I was taught enough to recognise the difference. It seems for the better if there’s no fight for control and less risk to Cass." Reyna said evenly.
"If anything, it seems Cass is safer. Terrifyingly so. As long as she’s safe and happy, I have no complaints."

”Why wouldn’t I be happy? I get the best of all the worlds! And showered with sappy compliments on all sides!” Cass grinned, one hand still massaging Leon’s shoulder while the other went to rub just underneath where Lelou’s second mouth was.

Rey shook her head slightly at that. She didn’t think anyone else could handle this kind of setup, but of course Cass could… She found threats to devour humanity to be sappy.
"Then I don’t have any complaints."

Cass was happy that Reyna was so accepting of it. She was calm and understanding, but often the one that put her foot down when something was out of line or truly concerned her. It had caused some tension between her and Trisha in the year or so after their breakup. But she was always convinced by logic and evidence, at least.

”Good! Cause I’m super duper happy.”

Both mouths let their tongues loll out again, though only one found fingers to lick. Which gave Leon enough cause to take as much control as he could, and seal both mouths back up. Lelou’s laughter echoed in his head as he closed his eyes and shook it.

”It’s absolutely been interesting. But, I can speak for both she and I when I say we’re happy that you came.” he spoke to Reyna between huffs of air as he tried to get the last of the capsaicin oil off his tongue.

”There’s snacks and stuff in the fridge. Lots of cut fruit, my brother loves the stuff. But, we’re all big eaters, so there’s like-”
He waived himself off, shrugging and getting up to slide over to the fridge. Popping it open, he pulled out a few massive fruit trays.

”-Sometimes all Cass and I do now is cook shit. It’s domestic as Hell, and super cute. So, we’ve got this stuff, then-”

Then bread he’d had delivered early that morning, and pastries, and jars of preserves; breakfast without the fuss. There was even a tray of bacon and egg sandwiches that just needed a little reheating. All of which slid out onto the counter and surrounded the box of beers.

”-plenty! Plenty of shit for a few people. I was thinking maybe my sisters would be here too, but I think they’re either still sleeping next door, or aren’t actually there.”

"You'll get to meet ‘em later! They should be at the party… They're real sweet!" Cass was already digging into the food, stuffing a pastry into her mouth. She needed to get back those calories she lost from becoming all floppy, after all.

"You're making me feel a little like a disapproving mother you're trying to introduce to the family to impress." Reyna smiled, moving forward to help herself to some of the fruit. She wasn't a big eater like either of them- she'd seen how they ate at her place- but at least it was lunch time now, so there was no forcing herself to eat out of politeness.

"Heh, well, I'd much rather your approval than my Ma's." Cass snickered.
"But it ain't like that! Me ‘n Lee are just crazy generous hosts, we've been cooking up a storm. Then… Well, you're my only friend coming to this who ain't already met a bunch've the people! So ‘course we wanna make sure you're all comfy and introduced to ‘em… Specially since there's gonna be a shit ton of people for me to meet too."

She shrugged, looking up at Leon with a grin.
"Besides, we’re gonna end up eating most of the food!"

”Not to mention the lovebirds upstairs aren’t uh… Well, they’re not looking forward to going out, that’s for sure. You know Trisha, and my Brother ain’t really one for big parties either. So, you may end up on babysitting duty, and to me, that means a little buttering up is required!”

Leon didn’t exactly do well with “secrets”. Not actual secrets, which he kept a lid on like nobody’s business. But, rather, the stuff he felt was only a secret to the ignorant. Anyone would wind up noticing Trisha’s sourpuss, or the way Casey managed to drown himself in booze within a few minutes of contact with a group of free-roaming people. At dinners and other more organized events, he was usually fine. But, big open spaces full of roiling crowds? Not so easy to convince him that it was a good thing.

Plus, he really did feel like Reyna deserved the heads up. After all, Trisha was her friend! And not just a casual thing either. He knew they’d been together intimately, and that part of Rey’s heart was always going to be with Trisha. It would’ve been difficult letting Casey fold under scrutiny without at least being there at his defence should the need arise. Plus, he’d had the heart to admit that he was doing poorly mentally. That made sense to Leon too, as Casey didn’t have anything buffering his emotions about the coming plans for the end of December.

The end of their world as they’d grown in for so many years. The end of their mother. Every bit of Lelou had issues with Lynette, and she happily bolstered his mind and soul with urging wards that brought a sick kind of desire to him whenever the thought came across. Even now, he grinned from ear to ear as he thought about the ensuing fight, and who would be the ones to stick with her in those last moments. Who would defend her memory after.

Cass nodded.
"Though I'm hoping if they come down, maybe they'll feel alright with saying they don't wanna go! Not cause I don't want ‘em there, just I don't want ‘em to feel obligated to go to something they really don't wanna."

"Trisha isn't the type to admit she doesn't feel up to something." Reyna responded with a slight frown. Last time she visited, Trisha had been doing well. There'd been the incident when they were out but that was just a typical Trisha blowup. She knew that when she got with someone, she became more of a homebody than anything… But at least when they were together, she'd had the ability to deal with all sorts of social events with a little bit of support.

"Normally she can get through these kinds of things as well, even if she doesn't enjoy it. More touchy, but she's surprisingly good at coping unless something else is happening. I'm happy to babysit, but I'm not sure if she'll let me." She looked thoughtful, glancing between Leon and Cass.
"Has something happened? When I last visited, they seemed quite good at supporting each other."

"Uhhhh…" Cass held up her hands, looking at Leon.
"You can explain way better than I can."

Leon didn’t want Reyna to look at Casey like he was wrong for Trisha. She was right! He was an amazing supporter, and if anyone could take and deal with the proclivities that Trisha provided, it was him. That being said, his abilities weren’t foolproof. And he wasn’t always the most patient man: Anyone would know that from how long it took him to propose. You heard about those kinds of relationships in movies, or if they happened in real life, they never ended well.

It was, as he knew it, just another action in a manic episode. There’d been hopes, directly from Casey’s mouth even, that her being in his life was the end of the dry seasons. The end of the pain and fear of loneliness. But, everything he’d told Leon recently sounded like that wasn’t the case… And now the guy was scared. Scared of losing what he knew he wanted, and scared of facing what he didn’t.

So, Leon shrugged.
”Ehhhhh… Casey’s not great all the time. He was always a bit of a loner when it came down to things. As far as I’m aware of, this is his first real relationship. He managed to develop entire disorders before being with a woman. So, that’s probably your ‘something else going on’ that you mentioned. I asked our family shrink, and she says his PTSD probably just exacerbated an undiagnosed case of Bipolar.”

He stopped frowning.
”He’d never physically hurt Trisha. But I know they’re the same in the aspect you mentioned: That neither of them would ever admit they’re not up to doing something… So, if they’re both pushing themselves in an unhealthy way-” Leon trailed off, letting Reyna process his allusion.

Reyna frowned, folding her arms. If they were both doing that, then they'd keep doing it until one of them broke. It had always been difficult with Trisha to get her to admit to anything she thought would disappoint people. Rey only ever succeeded because she could read it with her magic. But she'd seen Trisha bury everything as deep as she could and pretend everything was fine no matter how much someone tried to point out that it was.

At least it gave her a good idea about what state her friend would be in.

"They'll be coming tonight, however they both feel." Reyna said with a soft sigh.
"I'm used to dealing with Trisha, but I can't pretend this doesn't worry me. I trust when you say he won't hurt her physically, and that Cass is a far more fierce protector of her than I am. Of course no person is perfect. But if they push each other unhealthily and not talking about it-"

"It ain't like most of her relationships, honest! They do talk- you should see, Trish has been more open with me too. It's just… Well, a big hurdle for them. Like when the honeymoon phase wears off, except it's timed with Casey's own shit flaring up. But far as I can see, they're still treating each other well." Cass interrupted. She understood why Reyna would be concerned. Not necessarily because she thought Casey was some awful person, just that Trisha had a bad habit of letting herself get more miserable in a relationship without leaving or fixing it. She had low standards. But from Cass' point of view, this wasn't that.

"Like you said, nobody's perfect! But I ain't seen anyone as good for her as Casey, even if he's got this kinda shit going on. It just means we gotta support her too! Cause that's part of the problem, ain't it? She refuses to go to anyone else! At least Casey talks to Leon."

Reyna managed a slight smile.
"I know that better than most. The fact she tells Casey things already indicates they've made progress most of her relationships haven't." She looked directly at Leon.
"Do you also think this is something they can work through? Obviously, there's nothing I can do beyond watching over them tonight… But I'd like to know what I can. Trisha's my friend, after all."

Leon nodded immediately and emphatically.
”If there’s anything I’m sure of, it's what kind of man my brother is. He’s had the chance before. Women have been set up for him, he’s not taken them, and it had nothing to do with whether or not he was manic or depressed. For whatever reason, he chose to go out on a line with Trisha on that Halloween night. I didn’t introduce them thinking this would happen. But, the one thought I did have that night, was that if anyone could deal with Trisha, it was Casey. That’s why I pawned her off on him and evacuated as soon as I could.”

His expression shifted slightly, maybe out of guilt for admitting that he hadn’t wanted to see Trisha at all. But they were working on their problems too! And it was all thanks to the “happy” couple’s continued work with one another.

”And, honestly, if my and her past is anything to go by, then I think she’s made incredible strides in a month alone. If they can make all that progress in a month? Then as long as they don’t absolutely self-destruct in the downtime between, I know they’ll pull through. Just, uh… This month is rough. We’ve also got a lot of personal family stuff happening, we’re kind of dealing with our Mother dying… It’s all a little bit of a crapshoot. Just, not good timing all around. They’ll be totally fine!”

And he really did believe that. He meant what he said about knowing Casey, and about knowing that whatever reasoning he had behind taking such a shine to Trisha, it wasn’t done out of impulse. He’d seen the guy low, and he’d seen him high, and in both instances, there’d been a woman somewhere who would’ve wanted to be around him intimately. And he’d never really bitten down. It was always casual, almost effervescent in tangibility. Like he was a cat avoiding company.

He jumped into the deep end with Trisha. It was like seeing a whole new man. Even if that shell was temporary, Leon knew for certain that Casey could and would bounce back. He always did. They’d gotten through what he thought was the darkest points. Over the grimness of his magicless childhood, and over the initial return home with rampant survivor’s guilt and suicidal ideations. He’d had his scares, he’d done the drinking and the sobbing and the angry screaming. He’d reenlisted into the Reserves, found new things to do… They’d gotten him better.

Everything that was left, he figured, would be there forever. He could only hope that it all became numb one day, and that their love would overpower such a dull and ancient ache.

"I'm sorry about your Mother and family issues… But if it's as you say, then we'll just have to be there for her if it falls apart. Though I'd rather avoid any of that self-destruction." Reyna responded with a soft sigh.

"Hey, your negativity's showing, Rey! It ain't gonna fall apart… and they won't self-destruct!" Cass waggled her finger at Rey, before gesturing to herself and Leon.
"That's what we're here for! Y'know, if I smell any self destruction I ain't just gonna let Trisha go through with it… and Lee's the same for Casey!"

Though she knew at the end of the day, Trisha was too stubborn to listen to others. Especially when it came to digging herself into deep holes of anxiety, and pulling all the dirt onto herself so she suffocated. But the progress she'd made so far had been enough that Cass really hoped it would get better… that eventually, she'd actually come to, and rely on other people! Not just Casey!

Reyna shrugged one shoulder.
"If you say so. I'll trust what you say about Casey, at least. In the glimpse I got, he seemed good for her. Into her in a way I haven't seen from anyone else… And it was the same from Trisha to him. That I know better than most." She smiled again.
"There isn't much else to be done anyway. The worst thing would be to try and get involved. Cass did once, and it didn't go so well."

Cass let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of her neck.
"She didn't talk to me for weeks… I mean, I did punch her boyfriend at the time! But he was an abusive asshole!"

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Roquefort Island.

Roquefort Island’s various structures loomed in the distance as the boat got closer and closer, eventually arriving at an incredibly well-kept pier structure that the boat easily slotted itself up alongside. Trisha would’ve been able to feel the moment the boat disconnected from its magical line, the entire thing almost immediately starting to wobble and sway again as Casey pulled forward and drove off the side ramp and down the pier toward the dock houses and various facilities. There was also a gate before them, and high walls all around the island that closed off access from just about every point.

It was this gate, and the booth next to it, where Trisha would’ve really been able to see how intricate the island was. At one point, it’d been open to the public as a historic site. Nowadays, thanks to several different ordinances they’d taken out, the Richoux had privatized the island completely. They were more than allowed to put the walls and the gate up, as well as denying entry to anyone uninvited. The gatehouse booth was shuttered closed, and as Casey drove the car up next to it, he whistled sharply out the window.

Without fuss, the gate clicked open and swung wide enough to accept the truck being driven through it before closing again. They were now on a single lane of tarmac, with beautiful but unlit lanterns lining them on either side as they slowly rolled through the property. As there was an event so recently, and the New Dawn was expecting trouble brewing because of the Temple situation, the property itself was rather crowded. Dozens of cars in a lot, and just beside it looked like a makeshift military camp with an equal number of canvas tents put up in neat rows. Fires blazed, and from Casey’s half-open window, they’d both be able to hear music playing and people talking loudly in French.

”Ouiiiiii. Oui Ouiiiiiiii.” Casey practically mocked them, flat affection and lack of accent clearly marking a joke.

Then, there were the actual structures. Some seemed like simple barns or warehouses, but the closer to the actual hill they got, the more they seemed like actual homes that people lived in.

”Some people keep their vacation homes here. We’re close enough to the South-West that people like my cousin Wyno use it as a base of operations for when she’s doing fashion shows and stuff in Cali. But, I’m pretty sure everything’s occupied by the Dawncorps at the moment.” Casey explained casually.

“The Dawncorps?" Trisha questioned, brow furrowing slightly. There were so many names and organisations that she struggled to keep up… Or more like, stopped trying when it came to the broad and strange magical religion.
“Like, your grandparents'... Sect's private army kind of thing?"

She really couldn't remember what the name was for what Sylvie and Max fell under. Casey would probably give her a hard time if he knew she just thought of it all as the Temple, when it really wasn't.

“The island's nice, though the massive wall's a bit intimidating. I suppose that's the point! I'm not sure I'd enjoy vacationing somewhere I can't see past the island, but the interior is really pretty too."

”You’ll love the windows in my folks’ house. They accept the magical signal from the walls, and totally remove them from the scenery when you look out of them. The other houses have that too. I could technically do that with our place, if you wanted. It’d take me installing a few beacons out in our view, but the whole port district could disappear if you wanted that.”

Saying “disappear” like he was going to completely destroy the district and sweep it into the sea would’ve been incredibly ominous if it hadn’t been contextualized by the previous statements.

”It’s just a pain, because the buildings blocking the nicest parts are kind of big and public, and if someone sees me climbing the shit, I’m sure I’ll get some phone calls made for me.” he laughed.

”But, you were right otherwise. Soldiers of the New Dawn. Pulled directly from the French Military, as well as the Foreign Legions. They’re well respected, especially in the EU, since the Order makes up like twenty three percent of France’s sanctioned Adepts.”

He paused for a moment before turning and smiling.

”I… Hate to say that I feel like its necessary for the government to regulate Adepts and magic. But, with the world getting so big now, I feel like its necessary to have a body of laws in place to punish people for not using their magic fucking responsibly. Like, even Emily G. Reed: Her and the stooges will probably get locked away on some bullshit R.I.C.O. case as a gang rather than getting locked up for magical crimes… Even though the magical crimes are way more severe.” he started to babble, his brain holding him hostage as they took a trip down the complicated road of magical regulation between nations.

Trisha nodded in agreement. It wasn't something she knew much about… She was out of touch with the magical world, nevermind law enforcement related to it within their world. From her point of view, there never seemed to be much. It relied on good people with magic getting rid of the bad ones. Like they'd ended up doing with Dollhouse. What little she actually knew about groups that actually enforced some kind of magical rules came from not so pleasant events.

“I agree, though I don't really know how this stuff works. I'm not fond of something like registering magical people or anything, but it makes sense there should be magical punishments for magical crimes." She looked down in her lap for a moment. They were almost there, so what was the problem in saying something he probably didn't have time to pursue.

“There are in some cases, though, aren't there? Some groups that imprison the worst threats across all the universes. My Dad was, uh, part of something like that. Some super multiversal law enforcers… Or maybe more like vigilantes? I don't know. I only found out when someone murdered him because of it. Not that they did anything to help after."

Not having known that particular detail about James Vanburen made him more than a little shocked. Though, the feeling quickly faded as he started the mental math that lead him straight to the answer he thought made most sense:
James Vanburen was a Jumper… A realm-hopper, whose life had probably been long spent doing things that had absolutely nothing to do with having a family or being anyone’s everything. The only real question now was why.

Did he end up here because he was on the run from his own? Did his people get wiped out by some greater entity, and he fled to Shimmer to hide? Trisha was right in that he didn’t have much time to press her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t have an immediate comment that he couldn’t stop himself from making.

”Your Dad was fucking what!? I thought he was, like, some fucking underground kingpin who decided to go legit! What do you mean he was part of some Multiversal knightly order or some bullshit!?” he asked with a great deal of shock as they pulled up the hill and around the bend.

From off the island, this building had been the most noticeable on the horizon. Mostly because it practically rose up from the sea like a pillar of stone. The main house seemed to be less a house, and more a fortress that had, like many of the other rocky coastal islands up and down St. Portwell’s bay, once housed the American Navy and some of its facilities. The outside pier was a remnant of such days, and this austere stonework structure looked to be ripped straight from the pages of a civil war novel, with plenty of openings for cannons and gun emplacements.

However, from that stonework and concrete base, a whole other structure seemed to be naturally growing. The main part closely resembled a two-tone Tudor-style manor house with the cross bracing beams visible between the plaster and stucco finish. But this place also seemed to be utterly bedecked in bronze and brass, with the rear holding the actual tower itself that climbed several more stories up. It was choked by cables, wires, conduit boxes, and hundreds of other connections that ran the total height of it’s span and only disappeared by crawling through the underside of the tower’s bulbous, almost spherical top floor.

If Trisha’s magic was open at all, she’d feel the disruption of this place. This kind of industrial technomagic was as far from the natural world that the Queen came from as possible, and would give any spirit of nature a lasting sensation of depression as the world they were born to was clearly dead in this place.

Trisha reactively shuddered. Since the Queen handed her magic over to Trisha, she'd become more open to these things- though not necessarily on purpose. For now, it was like how she sensed pheromones: something that was always turned on. Though the base level wasn't so strong she was detecting normal magical fluctuations- that would require actual concentration. But this hit like a brick wall of technology, making her feel sick.

At least the Queen was still asleep and didn't need to deal with any of the effects herself.

“I mean… Yeah, Dad was part of something like that, I guess. I really didn't know until he was killed for it, and I only know because I was there when it happened. It's not exactly easy to bring up… I guess having tens of kids with different women doesn't really fit the image." Trisha managed to respond, a bit worried that Casey was upset at her for withholding it. But it wasn't really on purpose… The only effect it had on her life was Adjoining with the Queen thanks to James' artifact collection, and his death.

Two pretty major events, sure… But she still struggled to reconcile the Father she'd known and whatever he'd done in the past. Been still doing while a fair few of the older kids were around.

She tried to smile at him, though it looked more like a grimace. She'd almost prefer they turned around and she had to continue this conversation, rather than going in there.
“Most of his past is still a mystery, honestly."

He’d stopped the truck and turned the engine off before she was done speaking… But nothing could’ve stopped him from letting his jaw slack completely while she totally bypassed everything that she was saying in terms of intelligent consideration. It’s like her brain was either too repressed to see what he saw, or she was actively avoiding it. Either way, he couldn’t not say something. At least he was so stunned that he had a moment to gather himself and consider how best to present this to her.

”Your Father… Isn’t from Shimmer, is he?” he asked with an incredibly stupified look on his face.
”As in… Honey, I… I think that, maybe uh…”

Of course he was the way he was. He spent whatever time he’d had here on Shimmer probably hating it. Entirely trapped as some transdimensional refugee, hiding in a new world without connections… The women, the children, the companies, the industry…

”Well… Don’t you think there’s a possibility that the reason he was so cold is because he’s… From another place? Like, one he always wanted to go back to, but never could!? That maybe he left behind a life that he was happy with, and all of what he did here was just to, like… Protect himself?” he finally managed to ask the question on his mind aloud.

Trisha had never thought about it like that. She hadn't really been able to think about the implications of it, because the shock and grief had been too much at the time to start picking through it. Maybe he did have a happy life in some other world he had to leave behind. But it wasn't like anyone forced him to have all those children? Did it really excuse the emotional neglect of her and all of her siblings?

“I don't know… he wasn't cold to all of us. He was doting on Tansy and Sabrina. Maybe he just got bored after a while- Maybe you're right." She frowned, staring down at her hands. Her breathing got a bit quicker, and the nausea was trying to crawl out of her stomach.

“You mean you think… he had all of us just to protect himself? How would that even help? He still died! He died to someone who lived with us for years!" Her hands moved up to cover her face, trying not to really freak out over the information. It didn't change anything, did it? It wasn't like it changed how she'd been brought up. Just her perspective…

“If he was really from somewhere else, and all that was the case… Wouldn't that make me a bad person for hating him so much?"

Casey immediately shook his head.
”I can’t imagine a scenario where that’s the case. It wasn’t like you should’ve felt guilt or anything over how he chose to spend his life. And that includes anything from before you were born. He still could’ve been nice to your mom, or the other women he was with. He could’ve made his life work. But, if he was in a constant state of ‘woe-is-me’, then it was his own fault for not seeing that.”

Having no love for James Vanburen didn’t really change his opinion. He could just as easily sit and make judgement calls about his own beloved father, because he was able to observe the situation at an objective level. Or, objective to him at least. Even reality seemed to have a spectrum of objectivity these days…

”He chose to do the thing a bunch. Really, it just makes me feel like he was experimenting or something. I don’t know… Why have so many kids without any real purpose?”

“Ezra said it was about building a legacy, or some bullshit like that, once." Trisha grimaced. That didn't really seem like a good reason to have so many children with different women. He could've done that with one wife… Then again, there were plenty of them who were less than nine months apart.

“Experimenting makes more sense, right?! But how- It's not like he sought out loads of powerful Adepts or anything. He-" She shuddered a bit.
“I guess most of the women he got pregnant were pretty… successful in one way or another. The ones we know about. But why? Does that mean I'm- I was just an experi- Ugh."

She curled forward, clamping her mouth shut as she tried to push down the nausea that was really gripping her now. More than the though her whole birth was part of some asshole's experiment, it was the constant feeling of death pressing down on her from the nearby building. At least the sick feeling overwhelmed the heavy despair that it brought through her connection to the Queen.

Casey didn’t really know the details of his assumptions. That’s why they were purely speculative, and he didn’t invest a great deal of emotion into them. There had been just as high of a chance of her refuting him with evidence as there was of her going along with what he was saying. But, the last reaction?

”Baby? The island doesn’t rock with the ocean, Love, what’s wrong?” he asked, quickly shifting in his seat to let his arms move and brush her hair out of her face so he could look at her expression.

Trisha’s face was full of strain, eyes scrunched until they were almost shut. She took deep, heaving breaths as she did her best to just not be sick. They were going to get closer! She’d have to get used to it… Or figure out how to shut off whatever magic was causing her to be bombarded by waves of technological death.

“It’s the- House.” She managed to get out through gritted teeth. Her hands gripped her knees, knuckles getting paler.
“Feels- Horrible. H- How do I- Mmf, no-”

She was losing the battle with her body, reaching out to hurriedly shove the door on her side open. She didn’t even manage to get out like she’d intended, leaning out to throw up what little was in her stomach onto the tarmac. Thank God she’d skipped breakfast.

Which was perfect timing, as the massive figure of Maxwell the eldest was sauntering his way down the path from the entryway just in time to watch Trisha vomit. The elicited response was actually a little heartwarming all things considered, as Maxwell’s first response was not to become disgusted or judgemental. Rather, breaking from his purposeful stride into an unreal, almost floating jog as he made way for the car like an approaching rhinoceros.

”Mon deux! Trisha!? You suffer from the sea, I understa-”
Casey was quick to cut him off, as he’d already gotten out of his seat and started rounding the truck to Trisha’s side.

”Papa! It’s not the sea, Sir, she said something about the house!” he replied with a frantic look on his face, like he was considering bombing the entire structure just to stop this feeling from taking over Trisha.

Maxwell stared, blank faced for several moments as he tried to connect what it was she meant. At first, he looked back at his home as if there were something wholly ugly and aesthetically unpleasing about it. Sylvie often complained of such a thing, but she never seemed to grow physically ill from the sight of it.

”Uuuuh? But the house, it is not this ugly!”

”What tests are running, what machines are going!?”

”Besides the generator? The McGuffin check, and the autoforge!”

With his White Lux, Casey did his best to feel the magic in the air. Only then did he realize what was happening.

”Ohhhh, it’s the fucking generator!” Casey finally blurted out, eyes turning upward to the top of the tower.
”The amount of Orange Lux radiating out of it is fucking… Probably overloading her. Baby? Baby, can you walk? I think we’ll be safer inside!”

Maxwell understood now too, and waived his hand.

”Carry her! Do not ask, if she’s weak then it should alway-”
As the lecture began, Casey was already scooping Trisha up out of the truck and starting to walk forward toward the hill.

”-Yes, yes Papa! I understand, I’m doing it, I’m carrying her! Please, just start gathering the components in the back! I don’t want to be here all day, and clearly neither does Trisha!” he called back.

As they ascended the hill, the feeling was just getting worse. Like death had come again and again for her without success, and it was getting upset.

”Hang on, Honey! I know it sucks, but… The house is full of shielding from the radiation! How’s the Queen, are you both gonna make it for me!?” he practically pleaded down to her in his arms.

“D-dunno, can’t feel- her.” Trisha choked out, her hand covering her mouth to stop anything else escaping. But she’d gotten everything out of her stomach in the first few goes, the retching becoming more painful than anything now.

Her eyes welled up with tears that quickly covered her face, whole body trembling in his arms. Panic was truly clutching her now as they got closer. Like every step towards the house was a step towards inevitable death. Her chest tightened, breathing getting painfully short and her heart beating in an intense staccato. It felt like she was being crushed at all angles by deep hopelessness. She wanted to run, but she had no strength. Panic pheromones spilled out into the air, only to fizzle out and die immediately. Just like she was going, it was coming for her, it felt so angry and empty-

“‘M sorry… Sorry…” She clutched Casey’s shirt, curling into herself against him. She felt awful, her panic only escalating when she realised his distress. She couldn’t even try to like, but she’d be fine, she had to be for him-

But she wouldn’t, she wouldn’t, everything was dead and dying.
“It- Feels- Like death, Casey.” She moaned out painfully.

He was making the pace, but got to the door finally and had an incredibly hard time getting it open while still holding her. It probably would’ve been quite the shock for him to totally shift her and toss her over one shoulder… But getting inside was an almost instant relief. Ten, maybe fifteen seconds were spent with that inexorable feeling of dread filling her very soul.

”Apparitons are usually attracted to high energy signatures-” Casey started, quickly shifting her back into his arms before starting to rush through the house.

The perspective Trisha was getting didn’t leave room for a lot of observations about the interior. There seemed to be a lot of warm wood, and carved ceilings that had paintings on them like the Sistine Chapel.

”-so I think the Generator up on top of the tower is attuned to a pretty shitty signal. The New Dawn doesn’t keep Aberrations it their ranks, so there’s usually nobody here to worry about this stuff.” he spoke rather calmly, in spite of his rushing as they hit a staircase and started descending.

By this point, everything would’ve felt normal again, leaving Trisha with the chance to protest being relocated by force.

“I’m- I’m okay now, Casey.” Trisha spoke up, not sure where he was taking them and not wanting him to continue to worry. It wasn’t a lie, because the feeling had gone away, even if the panic it had brought up in her took more time to calm down. She still trembled in his arms, breathing just beginning to slow down. But the nausea was gone, and the heavy weight of depression lifted.

She didn’t feel like she was about to die anymore.

“S-Sorry, I should’ve said as soon as I started feeling sick.” She continued, trying to really calm herself down. It was hard when the panic had been just below the surface and the horrible feeling had brought it to its worst.

“It felt like death- Like everything had died and I should have too. Just… wrong.”

Casey hadn’t even known exactly what the signal was. He knew that it was supposed to totally disconnect anything natural from its surroundings, meaning any kind of natural fae Apparition or anything linked to the Deer in concept was shit out of luck. He could only assume that, as one of those kinds of Apparitions, the Queen was just as susceptible to the consequences of the Generator’s very intentional radiation leak.

But he wasn’t exactly worried about the interesting logistics of it. Finally pausing, Casey exhaustedly slumped backward, leaning against the faded black and white mosaic tiles that made the surface of the stairs. His arms flexed, and he squished her tighter into his arms to make sure she could feel him just like he could feel her.

”It’s not real, Trisha… I swear, it’s not real. I’m so sorry… I never even thought about how this place would affect you.” he admitted, embarrassingly so.

“It’s okay.” Trisha whispered back, voice hoarse from throwing up and panicking. But at least her breathing was really starting to even out now, warm safety pushing away the remaining cold fear as he held her tightly.

“I didn’t realise a place could feel like that. I don’t think I would’ve felt it if I didn’t have all of her magic… She buried deeper into me. I dunno if- if it would’ve been worse for us both if she didn’t.” She continued, hugging into him. She could feel the Queen again now… Strangely more than she had since when the baton had been passed a few days before. She’d stirred in response to the signal, only to hide.

But she was there, even if in the process of going back into her restful state within Trisha. She hadn’t abandoned her…

“But I know it’s not real. If it was, I wouldn’t be able to feel you like this.”

Casey could hear the wood in the wall shifting next to him until a pair of lips formed by his head.
”Caseau, this commotion?”

Nana Sylvie’s voice had a hollow sound to it as the wooden lips spoke from the wall. An ear also formed, floating into existence at the surface of the wood like it had been inside the wall the whole time. Casey threw his head back in frustration… There were no private moments in his life. None.

”Trisha’s an Aberration, Nana… The Generator could’ve seriously hurt her!”

There was a pause on the other end, then both the mouth and the ear totally sunk back down into the depths of the wall. Casey half-giggled to himself.

”I… Think she’s upset.” he let the statement hang.

Trisha was glad Casey was holding her so tight, because she probably would’ve jumped out of his arms otherwise. She was still on edge, even as she came down from it, and a voice out of nowhere was unnerving.

“She did ask.” Trisha responded, pressing her lips together. But if Sylvie was upset, that might make things more difficult for them- for her. She still wanted to make a good impression, and she’d done the opposite. Throwing up in front of Max, causing a commotion… It made her anxiety flare back up.

But she didn’t want to put that anxiety on him right now.
“Is she still listening? I… Don’t know how you deal with it. All the magic use and spying all the time.”

Casey could’ve used White Lux to see if there was an Orange signal running through the walls to the microphones near them. But, there was an easier and faster way. Clearing his throat, he bit his lip slightly and cocked his head, then closed his eyes and remembered a thousand smacks to the head as a burst of incredibly vulgar French came out of his mouth.

When there was no retaliation, Casey was satisfied that she was absent. He turned his face back to Trisha, a slight grin.
”You’re used to a bunch of shit you shouldn’t have to deal with. Humans can eat a surprising amount of shit before things get dire.”

Sitting upright, he managed to let go of Trisha enough to pull his glove and begin to trace all the Orange Lux through the house. The layer of metallic shielding on the tower side of the house burned a hole in his vision as he turned his head and got caught in the intensity of the light. He immediately cut the spell channel, clearing his throat.

”God… You should see the magical metal keeping you safe.”
He brought his hand up, pointing and tracing an imaginary line against the wall they were next to, through the house toward the roof.
”It’s all up there. Past the next few walls. I’m glad that it affects Adepts too, at this range. Otherwise, we’d have left, I guess. I’d have brought you home, maybe after leaving the beads here, I guess. Come back and get it when its done or whatever.”

There were clicking heel noises from down the stairs that echoed up them, until little Sylvie was staring up at the two of them half sprawled on the stairs. As she approached, the stairs themselves began to move like an escalator, causing Casey and Trisha to rise up toward the start of the stairs.

”You were supposed to be here at eight!” she snapped, weakly letting one heeled foot tap onto a step as the other followed. She too began to rise in tandem.

”It’s eight thirty, Nana… We arrived here earlier.”

”Here! Here. At Eight! Your lack of time management nearly killed your Fiance: I put the baby to sleep at seven-thirty, and woke it up at eight-o-five, and yet you speak as if-”

She was annoyed! At what specifically, it was hard to tell. She kept talking about babies in terms of sleeping and waking before falling into French again. But, it was very clear that it was Casey’s fault, whatever it was.

Even though it was directed at Casey, Trisha was still hit by the scolding. It wasn’t something anyone would’ve had to worry about if it wasn't for her… At least, she assumed it was something to do with the generator even with Sylvie mentioning a baby.

“It’s my fault we were late. I took too long getting ready, so don’t be angry at Casey, please.” She spoke up, managing to sound calm and confident for all she was lightly trembling against Casey. It technically wasn’t a lie… But they’d only left five or ten minutes late because of her, with the stop when calling Leon adding to that. But if time was so tight, that seemed enough to throw everything off.

It was terrifying for her to say that in the face of someone she wanted to like her, but she cared about Casey more. She wanted to defend him… Especially now.

“And I’m fine! So it’s water under the bridge.”

Sylvie didn’t skip a beat.

”Trisha… You will make a wonderful wife. But Caseau knows things. He should know. You should not. Thus, it is not you who should be held responsible, when he holds the knowledge.” she explained calmly, meeting them at the top of the escalating stairs and reaching out to grip Trisha’s hand in comfort.

”So quick to place the blame upon yourself… I will rock the baby to sleep. Then, we shall walk. Caseau?”

”Oui, Nana?”

She waved her hand, and he instinctively leaned down for a smack for being late. Instead, he got a peck on the cheek from his venerably aged grandmother. It was a little shocking, but he turned his head and quickly gave her the other cheek. Pulling back up, she looked at him and waggled one long, bony finger.

”I am… Teasing.”

And then she started to cackle the most intense and caricatured witch’s laugh that Trisha would ever have heard. This ancient woman even tilted her head back, one hand on her belly as she began the short but purposeful clomping steps in her thick clogs.

”Trisha? Come with me to the kitchen… Leave this one to work with his Grandpapa.”

Casey’s frown was present, and he looked down at Trisha.
”I… Do you want to wait a few minutes? Get calm?” he asked her cautiously.

Trisha looked back up at him, trying to search for an answer in his face. For what he wanted, rather than what she wanted.

She didn’t really know. She wanted to go home already. So letting him go get the beads fixed was the fastest way to do that, right? Assuming they’d actually be able to go when it was done. He had said they didn’t want to be here all day while she was throwing up. Hopefully that would hold.

“I think I’m alright… Unless you’re going to be working a long time? Then I need to charge up.” She responded, trying to keep her tone light. She wasn’t calm, but she wasn’t going to be calm. The anxiety was constant at the moment. She could manage it.

”I would not use the battery stations throughout the house. High amperage.” Sylvie absently instructed, assuming just as well that Trisha would want the time Casey was offering. She wasn’t so bold as to overrule him in that regard, and made her way down the long main hall of the house.

Which, now that Trisha was conscious and awake for it, looked incredibly uncanny as a place. Pipes, cables and cords ran across the molding of the ceiling into various places, and beneath them had to be hundreds and hundreds of picture frames. Only half had pictures that Trisha could see, but they all seemed to be of the St. Portwell Richouxs… Max Gravity, Lynette, the kids in various different poses, places and put-ons. A lot seemed like family trips or church events which they’d attended alongside Big Max and Sylvie. The family looked fairly happy. Though, there was a distinct absence of Lynette in a lot of pictures that looked almost empty.

Like landscapes, punctuated by a toddler half way inside the frame of the shot with their hands up. Running toward something. Something that wasn’t there anymore.

Casey had laughed at his Nana’s joke, brushing it off.
”Silly old lady… She thinks you charge up with electricity.” Casey said in a half-lucid tone. The truth was that he was also already tired. That little panic attack had probably been enough to do them both in were it a normal circumstance.

But Trisha needed her equipment fixed. This was for her. If she could stick it out, so could he.

”But, I don’t know how long it’s gonna take. For all I know, Papa may fix it outside. Granted, he’ll have to take it apart again so we can install the new components, but-” he trailed off, letting her mind finish the statement as it wanted to.

”So… D’you wanna sit somewhere? Or, are we just gonna cuddle up in the hall until you’re ready?”

Trisha gave him a small smile, even as her eyes wandered around their surroundings. It was almost cyperpunk-esque… She hoped that even if Casey filled their future home with Orange Lux gadgets, there wouldn’t be so many obvious wires and pipes around. The pictures were cute, if strange in some of them. She tried not to think too hard about it.

“You know I don’t mind where we are.” She said softly, turning her attention back to Casey. She smiled a bit more.
“Did you visit here often as a child? Were there any spots you liked, or anything? I’d like to see that… If not, anywhere quiet will do.”

She glanced towards the long hall Sylvie had gone down again.
“I’m really alright, it doesn’t have to be long if you want to get on with getting the bracelet fixed.”

Casey cleared his throat, looking around before giving her a very serious expression in return.

”Trisha… You’re doing good. I hope you know you’re doing good, but… C’mon. Ten minutes ago you vomited in the driveway and were saying that death was coming. There’s plenty of times we can stick to the plan, but… Stuff like that? It’s big enough for my brain to hold onto. Let it go for a few minutes.”

The truth was, anywhere he would’ve spent time in this house was not a quiet place. The autoforge was an incredible piece of magical technology that he loved staring at all day long, but that didn’t mean it’d be good for Trisha. They hadn’t had the whole place back then anyway. Rather, one of the houses down the road had been a feeler property owned by the church as an entity, kept in holdings and used communally for anyone visiting St. Portwell way back when. He’d been up in this building back then, but it hadn’t had a home-seed planted in the basement then.

He wasn’t worried. The entire house was more or less a quiet space, with all the non-combatant relatives having gone home after the Harvest Celebration. He was more worried about making sure that Trisha knew there were distinctions to be made.

Trisha pressed her lips together, looking back up at him evenly. There was a visible struggle in her expression, as she fought with herself between what felt like imposing or continuing the path she was trying to go down. Not leaning on him as heavily as she had been the last month, because he was already weighed down by so much… But doubling down would only annoy or upset him. What had happened had happened.

Eventually, she nodded, her body going slightly slack as she stopped trying to just hold it together. The trembles came back and she bit her lip.

“I just… As soon as we entered the house, the feeling was gone. So it feels like I should just push through it even though I’m still shaken by it.” She admitted quietly, voice only getting quiet.
“It was so scary. Like everything was cold and decaying. The feeling of the wrongness made me sick… But the despair was worse. It felt like I was cheating death and the closer we got to the house, the more pissed off it got. I haven’t felt something that bad magically since the Stygian Snake tried to get into my head.”

Casey nodded along as she explained it, and he slumped them both against the wall before taking her down so they could both sit on the floor. Calmly, he brushed her hands in his own. Being honest with himself, he would’ve rathered they just got it done and left without having any further issues. If they’d made it back home, maybe she would’ve been okay… But, he’d not missed what she said in her stupor. And now that she was conscious and telling him about it, he knew she probably wouldn’t have made it healthily back home. Maybe she’d have shut down. Maybe she’d have been okay but quiet.

He didn’t want either by the time they got home. He wanted her fine. So, letting her cry it out a bit would be a lot easier ultimately. Thus, here he was, very consciously and purposefully driving himself through his own mood like a plōh through dirt. There was only one option now that he locked in: And that was being a good man to her. Someone who could help.

Besides, if she wanted to bring it up ever again, he already loaded this new bullet into the argument chamber. Another moment where he got to be strong while she leaned on him. Even if he said it was okay. He never could’ve directly understood the pressure she felt over it otherwise, but he didn’t feel like he needed to either.

”Nobody ever told me that’s what the actual effect was. I figured, with you being an Aberration and all, you’d easily bypass the problem. I understand I was wrong… I’m sorry for it. It was a bad mistake.” he admitted his guilt simply and without ego, hoping that would help her along even a little bit.

Trisha frowned, pulling her legs up towards her chest. So he’d known it might have some effect on her… But she still didn’t entirely see how it was his fault. By bringing her in the first place? Or them ending up late?

“It’s not your fault it perfectly targets my Apparition. Because of her connection to nature… It’s why she exists. It killed that, so of course she’d be next. And me.” She shuddered a little, remembering the feeling. But she didn’t seem to be taking his apology and just running with it… She wasn’t looking for an apology. She wasn’t annoyed at him right now, she was struggling with the panic and heavy hopelessness the feeling had brought out in her.

She wasn’t long out of her own depressive period, after all, and then was in a constant state of heightened anxiety right now. She took a deep breath, trying to curb the panic attack that threatened to come out as she thought about it.

“I accept your apology but I’m really not… upset at you. I just don’t know how to get rid of the lingering feeling- because that’s all mine. It isn’t magically hurting me anymore. The Queen’s already gotten past it, so I should be able to as well. But I’m not strong enough... Maybe if I was stronger, it wouldn’t have been a problem. Or I could’ve pushed through it. Instead I’m just scared. Like I’m actually going to die.”

Casey accepted what she meant. That was a much harder process. The way he saw it, there were simply two kinds of people. Those who could wave Death off, unbothered by the nightmare lurking behind the curtain and ignorant of the closeness in which it operates… And those who just couldn’t. He didn’t even see it as a numbness that needed time to build like a resistance. People he’d served with directly had just as many problems, it seemed. It drove them furious. Mad animals to a fault more often than not. Some had to be circulated to the rear… Others could be convinced.

”Are you more… Afraid? Or, ashamed? Are they equal?” he asked in a very casual and non-confrontational fashion. As close as he could get, he hoped, without triggering the pain all over again.

Trisha pursed her lips, head tilting forward so she was looking down. She felt both… But was it equally? Really, shame was just a different type of fear. Fear of other people’s reactions and views feeding into her negative self image. She was ashamed she couldn’t easily get over it, but also afraid of the feeling of death being overdue, and ashamed it still lingered when she knew it wasn’t real.

It all fed into each other. A constant cycle.

“They’re equal, I think.” She admitted.
“I’m scared of that feeling and the looming death, which makes me just want to… crawl into bed and never get out. Because it feels hopeless. And I’m ashamed of that, because it wasn’t even real. The depressive feeling was from the magic, and I’m not going to die. But I’m irrationally scared I will, which makes me feel more ashamed. Because I should be able to handle it without worrying I might get… depressed again.”

Though she didn’t think it was a risk in that same way. She probably wouldn’t become as lethargic as she had done. She had no choice but to do things for their survival. And she couldn’t be the one struggling right now. Casey was. The anxiety surrounding everything with him outweighed the depression the magic had dragged back up overall.

”Feelings are real.”

Casey’s words were clear, assertive, and very intentional. Not only was she ignoring the entire concept of individual relativity, which played heavily into this situation, but she was also missing one of the most basic fundamentals of Adeptal magic. The link between the light spectrum, and the emotional spectrum, and everything in between. She was distraught, and that was okay… But, did she really ever realize that there was a whole spectrum of magic based purely around the kind of feeling she was having right now? That some people had to store feelings like these, and keep dredging them up constantly in order to use the same kind of stuff that Casey was happy to use.

”When you feel something like this, it’s real. I discredited what you were going through thinking it would help, but somehow managed to reinforce your anxiety by trivializing your perception.”

He wasn’t happy now. She wasn’t blaming him, but everything she said pointed back toward what he’d said initially. That it wasn’t real. In truth, he hadn’t known whether or not it was actually dangerous. It could’ve been doing terrible things to her mind and body at a cellular level for all he knew. Sylvie and Max didn’t seem terribly worried about it, but did they even know the full extent? For him to say it wasn’t real ultimately put Trisha into a situation where she thought less of herself…

”Can you… Can we try to think about it like it was real? What does that do to you? That, Hell, you could’ve been in mortal peril? And that the feelings you had were your body’s natural reaction to being exposed to that? Your body really actually feeling it? Because, if that’s how it felt… I don’t care whether you’re okay right now or not. Because it was Hell on Earth for however many seconds you were exposed. And that makes it real to me too…” he ultimately concluded, hugging into her tightly.

Trisha's breath hitched, all the panic she'd been trying to suppress flooding back up. If it was real, that would mean she could have died. It felt like she'd narrowly escaped it… She should have died along with all the nature in the area. Her eyes welled up with tears, chest starting to heave up and down. She twisted to press herself fully into Casey, clinging to him like that feeling would come back if she let go.

“I don't want to die, Casey. Not like that, not like death's hunting me cause I cheated it… I've barely lived! I don't wanna lose it all now that I have something to live for." She choked out, doing her best not to fully break down into tears.

“It makes me feel so powerless! Cause I couldn't do anything… I can't protect myself from something like that. And it's terrifying. I didn't even know what was happening and- and there was nothing I could do. I don't want to be powerless… But it feels like I'll always be weak... Because if there's something that can hurt the Queen like that, what can I do?!"

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to take a deep breath.
“But- But I'm not dead… I c-can cope with the pain, I swear, it's just- just the hopelessness."

There were few things he could help with immediately. If she was having serious troubles like this, especially with hopelessness, there weren’t exactly a lot of cures. But, Casey did have one big advantage against that sort of thing. In truth, the modern Richoux had long foregone the more esoteric aspects of Orange Lux for very practical technological and physical applications. However, that wasn’t always the primary use of Orange.

In days past, the Richoux clan had been a subservient: part of the vast, twisting mire of French nobility, their house was patronized by a greater Noble house, and their Adepts were often utilized for a single purpose. Those spells were still open to him, only he had a great deal of experience using them where other Richoux simply didn’t bother. Part of the oath of their house was that a Richoux was to be like the Sun. The center of everything. Generational trauma, he assumed, from being treated like second class adepts for most of their time in the aristocracy.

Thus, the bolstering magic of Deep Orange, for a typical Richoux, was equal to being put in the back seat. To empower others, and allow them to do the work that a Richoux could do with their own ingenuity and invention, was felt in the same way that an insult was. But, in the Military, there was always room for a little help. For some, the technology- artifacts and otherwise enchanted items -was enough. But, some needed help deeper inside.

And that took real courage. Courage he knew he could muster. The kind of courage that would, maybe, help Trisha break the lingering sensation even a little bit. All she needed was enough to begin turning the tide back into her own favor. All she needed, Casey imagined, was a little help.

And what else was being a couple for?

Taking her hands, she’d be able to feel that he’d slipped one into his glove. It was rough, and almost felt clammy against her soft skin.
”I… Know magic that I think could help. Maybe its not a solution, and maybe you won’t even want to think about it… But, you’ve been around other Orange Adepts. If you’ve ever felt a Bolstering Courage spell, or something like that, you’ll know what I mean when I say that the feeling doesn’t go away. You just… It helps to feel like you can get through it. No matter what.” he tried to explain, hoping Trisha would understand what he was getting at, and not take it like he was trying to rush through her problem.

After all, he desperately wanted to help her. There truly were no ulterior motives at that moment.

Normally, Trisha wasn’t a particular fan of any kind of magic that might play with her emotions. She worried about the influence, and it becoming some sort of crutch… But she didn’t want to be a burden on Casey like this right now. A little bit of confidence would help her get through it so she could just keep going. It would let her be fine.

It was just a shame she couldn’t use her own pheromones on herself without trapping herself in a tiny space the whole time.

“I’ve felt it before… Not often, but I remember. Normally I’d- I’d be put in places they didn’t have Orange Adepts focused on boosting, cause a small dose of my aggression pheromones did that kinda thing.” She explained unnecessarily through her tears. Like she was somehow worried that he’d think she didn’t understand and withdraw the offer, or that she’d been purposefully deprived of it all those years ago.

She took a shaky breath, looking at him with tear stained, panic filled eyes.
“P-Please… I want to be able to get through it. I don’t wanna panic like this right now.”

Casey’s gloved hand warmed up immediately, energy transferring out of it and into her hand that he was holding in it. There was something like a pulse, or more directly a connection opening up for her to accept through her Emotional Field. Once she did, she’d be able to feel the magic spread across her like warm mud in a spa. After a few seconds, Trisha would be able to feel the weight being lifted off her chest. Only, Casey’s spell wasn’t just for courage. White Lux was a truly powerful bolstering force in its own right, and mixed into the Orange, Trisha would be able to hear Casey’s voice.

It was pretty easy to tell that he wasn’t talking to her directly. Especially when memories were being recalled in her own head almost without her prompting. Memories of good times with him. Times over the month prior, in small moments where Casey found himself sitting back and simply admiring her. And, in her mind, these were from his internal perspective. She was able to observe herself from his eyes, sat behind her and turning from the computer screen she was looking at, to the side profile of her gentle smile.

It’d been a game day. She was playing away, enjoying her time with Gin and Ed, and Casey’s brain had wandered just enough to catch a glimpse of her face. She could feel all the warmth coming from him that he hadn’t given her in that moment. Spare love, admiration, and complete infatuation.

I’ll be behind you forever.

That solitary thought had run through his mind, and he used it as the reinforced applicator for the spell. Nostalgia for the little moments, and courage for this big one now. Together, they left Trisha with a wholly different feeling than those old days when she’d been bolstered. They’d all been kids, after all… How could one have so much more courage than the others? Especially in such life or death circumstance, common courage was always in short supply. This, however, came from a near limitless well, built by a man’s self-hatred and reforged into an unbreakable bastion of eager readiness. To face danger, horror, evil… And Death itself.

As the spell spread across her, all the cold fear she’d felt was covered up by warm courage. It wasn’t something she’d experienced before. She’d never felt brave like that. All the feelings were still there, but it was like a balm on her wounds. Her anxiety wriggled underneath it, but she was able to ignore it again. It wasn’t crushing her. Heavy, but manageable.

Her tears started to dry and her breathing evened out, a light blush spreading across her cheeks. It was strange to see herself from his perspective… In a light so different from the one she viewed herself in. He really loved her. Of course he did, she believed it every time she heard him say it and with everything he did for her… But feeling it was so different. Hearing the single unspoken thought.

She really hoped he’d be behind her forever…

For once, she did feel like she could get through it. Really get through it, without worrying about keeping everything to a manageable level to prevent a panic attack. That wasn’t even a risk until the spell wore off. She could worry a little less for now… Ignore it all for a while.

“Thank you.” Trisha whispered as the spell fully settled on her. She managed to smile genuinely at him.
“It’s… much more manageable now. I’ll really be okay. I love you.”

Casey held her close, making sure all the little strings of magic were properly attached to the inside of her Emotional Field like a veil.

”I love you the same… Just remember, this isn’t forever. I don’t want to make it a habit, and I’m sure you don’t want to feel like it is either. But, for now… As long as you need it. As long as it takes for us to be here.”

Contrary to his feelings as of late, Casey felt like he wanted to be there with her in that moment. It was a true want, rather than some obligatory feeling of necessity; because she was so hurt by it. So vulnerable already, and only here because he prompted her to. It… Was. It was a sense of obligation. But, it was one that Casey knew he wouldn’t give up for the world in that moment. And if it was a burden someone wanted, was it really a burden?

To even think of it like that made him sick. Rather than let it affect him, he simply tucked himself tighter into her.

”I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere until Nana comes back.” he stated from behind her mop of hair, voice muffled slightly.

“You’re going to make your Grandmother come get me? All the way back here? Wow, Casey.” She teased, giggling softly. She was more than happy to melt back into him.

Because he had to want to be with her right now, didn’t he? Because she was clearly doing better. He’d cast a spell for that. No more tears, no more panic attacks… Even if it was all still there, it wasn’t as exposed. It would take more than a poke or two to draw it back out, thankfully.

“I really appreciate it… Having you hug me like this helps with the spell. It helped even when I was hit by it. A little bit of your warmth got through the cold death.” She smiled slightly, breathing through the last physical effects of the lingering near panic attack.

“How long will the spell last? Long enough for the bracelet to be fixed? Not that I’d have a problem coming through to snatch you away for a couple of minutes here and there.”

Casey pressed his lips to hers, a playful peck proceeding his squeezing and nuzzling her like she was a human-sized plushie. It was purposeful, like most things he did. The lingering contact would hopefully bolster the spell just a bit further as the remaining tendrils of orange-cream Lux carefully pulled away from Trisha’s Emotional Field.
Examining it for himself, he could see the color of her aura had changed to hold his courage, and it seemed to naturally distribute it to her. Perhaps the Queen understood the spell too, and was working on her own time to take advantage.

”You’ll be okay. It’ll be plenty of time, and if worst comes to worst, you can tell Nana. She’ll be able to refresh all the best parts. Nobody has more courage than Nana. I remember she took a bunch of us to see the Catacombs, and I was really scared and nervous as a little kid. So she enchanted me, to help me get through it. Because I hadn’t Kindled, it was really intense for me: I’ll never forget it.”

He could feel the active fury of the reactor above die down into a sleepy lull, and Trisha would probably also notice the house get just a little quieter.

”Ooh, she finished… Which means the house is working off the power bank. Purple Lux is crazy, because it breaks a lot of rules of physics that are useful for mundane shit. It’s why my Uncle Guimon married into a noble Purple clan: Cousin Hugo is an electrical engineer with a specialty in trans-dimensional power storage. He made the battery bank out of a pocket dimension that's pretty much just electricity.”

He’d never get tired of technomancy, nor the endless applications that bridged the magical world with the mundane. Rather than being beholden to the physical regulations of their reality, new and innovative solutions could be developed in perpetuity. So long as someone had a good idea, and the magical aptitude to make it happen, there’d always be someone who could do what you do in a totally different way.

”Do you want to see the family tree? We have one at the Temple too, but I don’t think you’ve ever been down that section.”

Trisha couldn’t help but let out a giggle at the fact they had a family tree. Of course they did. The Richoux family was like true Nobility of the old in that way… At least they didn’t have the superior attitude. Well, not that she’d felt. She had a feeling the Adeptal supremacy belief was held by them just as much as it was the Temple.

Especially since there weren’t even any Abberations that were a part of the New Dawn.

“Yeah, I’d like to see it.” She smiled at him, though she didn’t move from snuggling into him. She’d take every last bit of that she could get.
“I’m assuming it’s pretty big, since Sylvie and Max have… Thirteen children, right? I bet you have a crazy amount of cousins. Y’know, it’s crazy enough talking about marrying into a noble Purple clan… Is that really such a big thing in the Adeptal world? The majority of the Adepts I’ve met didn’t really seem that way… Y’know, like their family line and the specific Adeptal magic within it was important. I guess it comes more from the descended from old nobility thing more… Right?”

She was rambling a bit in her question, curious in general more than anything. If her Dad had really wanted to produce some kind of child army to protect him, he would’ve married someone from one of those lines… Guaranteed magic. Or perhaps it didn’t matter. Her Adeptal siblings, at least the ones she knew about, were strong enough in their own right.

”That’s purely American. Well, more a modern problem. Not a problem. Just a circumstance of society expanding past the stratification of the age of aristocracy. The uh… The Middle Class kind of killed noble houses in the sense that the magic was no longer easily monopolized. Which is good. It’s been good for families like mine. We always get told stories about how our line came from Charlemagne, but us and every other remaining house says that, so…”

Not that it hadn’t been confirmed based purely on the bias of those remaining old-world families. There were plenty of stories of the legendary Emperor being Spectrum-blooded, and splitting his bloodline into ten families who then propagated across Europe. But, as far as Casey was concerned, the story didn’t add up. There were plenty of Adepts in the old Roman Empire, and just as many in places that had absolutely nothing to do with Europe.

Trisha personally knew a perfect example of Casey’s point: Cass, and her problems with the Shame curse, easily predated European magics by thousands of years. And, further still, the Queen herself, whose domain had stretched far and wide across the planet, had plenty of stories of the old Adeptal tribes held deep within her memory.

Yet, as they made their way down the hall and then down another, Casey stopped and turned to the wall. There, scrawled in ornate letters with the traditional coat of arms including the Imperial eagle and the fleur-de-les, was Charlemagne. Behind him were the faded surnames of dozens of other families and clans, suggesting they were related but not at all the focus of the piece.

”Obviously, that ain’t gonna stop my folks from running with it. It’s a point of pride, even if it’s probably bullshit.” he giggled.

Then, horizontally, the line of succession ran from one end of the hall, down to the other, and then seemed to round the corner again. Along the way, dozens and dozens of names peeled away from the main branch, until the fork in the road came where things got important. Four hundred years prior, a schism clearly split the house Escoffier in two. And while the main line “faded” from the relevant timeline, the new name Richoux was now front and center. And, clearly this was the ultimate extent of either the family’s knowledge, or their interest in record keeping… Because all the names before had been a single line of succession, from one son to the next down from the great Emperor…

But now it exploded. From the name Rollant Richoux onward, the family line exploded into great detail. It seemed the Richoux were never shy about having a bucket load of kids in each generation. And those generations split and split, permutating into every kind of family situation one could think of. Branches built up, only to end abruptly, while others went the way of the beginning, fading into obscurity and thus from the wall altogether. Yet, Casey’s family seemed to remain centered, seemingly never straying from the course.

Casey spent just as much time babbling away about what he knew, and was so willing to drown Trisha’s anxiety in comforting informational dumping that he didn’t notice Sylvie watching the both of them as he enthusiastically pointed from one individual to the next.

”-and so, when the Second Lilywar was ramping up, Hugo Richoux was the first artificer to take up the foundry. The cannons he made are still sitting on the ramparts of the family estate in Lyon.”

”And we fire them all twice a day, to remind those fools across the river that we’re still armed.”

Casey nearly leapt from his skin, turning to look at Sylvie. But, still, he managed a smile.

”Of course… How could I forget?”

Trisha also started, reactively tensing up and stepping closer to Casey. She’d been lost in just letting his words wash over her, even though she wasn’t entirely taking in all of the information. It was a lot, after all. She doubted there’d be a quiz about his family history at the end.

But it was just Sylvie. As quickly as she’d tensed, she relaxed again- to her normal state, at least, with the warm gauze of confidence keeping her afloat.

“Still? Isn’t twice a day a bit excessive?” She asked, turning like Casey to look at Sylvie with a slight smile.
“And all of them? Remind me to bring earplugs if we ever visit Lyon.”

She glanced up towards the massive family tree, glancing across the most recent generations. There were a lot of people in the family… She wondered how hers would compare if she drew it out. She couldn’t get very far with her Dad’s side, though the sheer volume of siblings would make up for it. As for her Mom’s… She knew up to her grandmother’s generation, roughly. There were enough cousins there too, though probably not as many as Casey had.

“There isn’t a strict tradition that every Richoux has to have at least five children, is there? It seems pretty common.” She asked lightly, gesturing to it. Sure, there were people who didn’t, but it seemed more had at least that number than didn’t. Her expression wasn’t particularly serious when she asked, though, like she was worried that would be some crazy expectation put on her.

Sylvie laughed aloud.

”It is purely a religious circumstance. You understand, the Church was not so free and open with contraception in the past!”

Casey cringed slightly at the idea of forcing Trisha into that kind of thing. Obviously, he wouldn’t mind if she did. Though, at the same time, he wondered if he had the mental capacity to spread his love across so many entities. In that moment, for the first time, he really actually considered what Fatherhood was. He knew Papa Max didn’t have good relationships with any of his sons. And his daughters were always his pride and joy… Except for the baby, of course. His namesake. Casey’s father. Which is why they were so close, and so familiar, with his grandparents to begin with. And with there not being a massive pile of them, Big Max and Sylvie bothered to know them, even…

Spending time here was plenty for him to know that he was an exception, not a commonality. He didn’t want that for his kids. He didn’t want them to be exceptions, even if they’d…-
Your kids won’t have Grandparents. None. They’ll never know what you felt. You have to be the one who gives them what they need. There’s nowhere else to go.

”And, obviously, Mom and Dad both wanted a gang of us. I’m fairly certain Mom pushed for another, but-”

”-Ugh! Do not get to me starting about your mother’s sickness. She is a truly vile woman.”

Casey grimaced. He couldn’t disagree. Leaning close, he half-whispered.
”Mom didn’t exactly act modest. She used to dress uh… Pretty provocatively some days. For Dad. For uh… Later stuff.”

Sylvie let out an exasperated gag.
”Reprehensible…”

Casey nodded.
”Point being, we won’t have more than we can handle. I’m sure we’re both able to make agreements over stuff like that in an adult way.” he replied as if it were a sure thing they’d be having kids at some point.

Trisha smiled up at Casey.
“I know. I know you wouldn’t push me one way, and I definitely won’t be pushing for loads. I was just worried there might be some ancient spirit upset about it.”

Obviously that wasn’t actually the worry. It was external pressure. Not that there’d be any parents to pressure them, but if they started having children in a few years, Sylvie and Max might still be around. But it clearly wasn’t an issue.

“I’m sure Cass and Leon will have more than enough for all of us, if they stay together. I don’t know about him, but Cass has told me multiple times that either she’ll have loads of kids, or none at all. Everything’s very all or nothing with her.”

She didn’t say anything about the new information about how inappropriately Lynette acted around her children, though she had comfortingly rubbed Casey’s arm after he shared it. It wasn’t surprising, considering they’d had a picture of them having sex in their main room… But it didn’t make it any less disgusting. No wonder he’d been so worried he’d become addicted before their first time.

She couldn’t exactly say she had the most healthy relationship with sex before, but at least she felt it was better now that she was with Casey. So they’d never be like that, and there wouldn’t be any pressure on him.

”It wouldn’t be the first time a Norman has conquered a British coastline.” Sylvie grinned.

”Nana!?”

Still laughing, the old woman put her hand out.
”We must joke, or die. There is nothing between. Trisha? Come… Casey is required in the outer shop: Papa is concerned about some of the internals of your machine. It may be several hours, so I wish for Trisha to be in comfort while the work is done.”

Casey furrowed his brow slightly. That wasn’t something Sylvie usually did. Comfort? Comfort for her was something like locking into work on a piece of jewelry for eight to twelve hours, then getting bored and moving onto a different piece for another six. Sylvie worked. When did she become concerned with comfort?

”Right… Well, I guess I’ll come back in a few hours if we’re not finished, just to check on you. Nana, uh… I’ve woven Trisha’s e-field with a bolster. If you happen to notice it fading, could you-”

She didn’t verbally answer, rather waving him off in a very animated way. He knew what that meant approximately, and squeezed Trisha one more time.

”You’ll be alright. I love you. And, if you want to come see what we’re doing, just ask. She’ll bring you.”

“Mhm, I’ll be alright. Enjoy your tinkering… I love you too.” Trisha stretched up to kiss his cheek before he could get too far away.

She would be fine, especially with the confidence bolster. She would’ve been able to get through this anyway, but it would’ve left her struggling by the time they headed home. At least now, she’d probably be able to keep it up when they left too. Which was good, because she’d already pressured Casey enough with the one breakdown.

“And hopefully none of them explode again… Good luck.” She smiled, before turning to Sylvie.
“Uh, lead the way to wherever we’re going?”

Sylvie’s face was a warm grin, and she tilted her head for Trisha to follow her. She walked at a slow pace, and Trisha would be able to hear the gentle whirring of mechanical bits and bobs coming from under her clothing. She sighed, watching Casey shuffle away and down the stairs to disappear from view. Looking back at Trisha, her hand came up and patted the young woman’s shoulder.

”You’ve felt the Tiger roar. I can feel the Orange bouncing about in your space. Is it not odd, that such a thing can be both vicious and comforting at once? That the same energy which gave you such a fright, now gives you the chance to work through it just the same?” she asked calmly, stepping out of the memorial hall and back into the functioning one.

Rather than head toward where she’d gone to turn the reactor off, she made way for the stairs in front of them, beginning to ascend with what looked like a struggling gait… At least, until she grabbed the railing. Then, suddenly, Nana Sylvie was animated, and her back straightened to take her up a few steps seemingly without trouble.

Trisha watched with wide eyes, following behind her up the stairs. Was there some kind of magical conduit in the railing? She wasn’t sure… Whatever it was didn’t really matter. It was interesting to watch how magic could help in so many ways.

“It is odd… But I find a lot about Adeptal magic odd. All magic, really. The boosting side of Orange Lux is actually the one I’m most used to. There weren’t a lot of Orange Adepts in my old coven, but Leon and this one other boy were the only ones who didn’t specialise in boosting at the time. Well, technically, there was this girl who used her Orange to transform her clothing during combat.” Trisha responded, going a bit off topic.

“It’s quite an extreme difference. But I guess a lot of magic can be like that. Like… Cass could use her magic to heal someone, but she could also use it to break their body until they died.”

”The powers of the Deer are vast and primal. Often sinister in their application. Green Adepts are truly fearsome due to their connection to Joy. Once must take some sick pleasure in whatever magic they cast. It is selfish magic.”

Oh… Clearly the prejudice didn’t quite stop at Apparitions. Though, was this really prejudice? Or was this old-school French attitude? How much of that stereotype wasn’t just a cover for an entire society of people to affirm their biases on a constant basis?

”You lack any formal education, non? As far as the Paranormal, of course. Your Blind education would be irrelevant to my question. Would you care? To be taught? To learn more than your Apparition can offer?”

This was a strange offer, because the amount of information that the Queen stored was vast. It felt quite unlikely that this old woman would have information that Trisha couldn’t get, but… Maybe it was worth it?

”Not today. Not tomorrow… But, we can teach you everything you’d like to know. I’d be honored to tutor again.” she explained as she reached the last step and let go of the rail.

Trisha rubbed the back of her neck, trying to figure out how to answer. Saying yes was the easiest path, but did she want to learn from Sylvie when she already had so much from the Queen to go through. Was there anything she couldn’t learn there? Maybe.

But more than that, it was the mention of formal education. Obviously, it wouldn’t be going to school. It would be tutoring from one person. But that was enough to make her nervous, even with her anxiety more suppressed right now. Formal education meant studying and tests, even if those tests just came in the form of questioning. It meant losing all of her time to an endless grind only to fail at it anyway.

“I’ll have to think about it.” Trisha admitted, as calmly as she could.
“Not because I think it’s a bad idea, it’s a very nice offer… I’ve just got a lot on my plate as it is. I’ll need to figure out if I can handle having more information crammed into my brain.”

She clasped her hands together in front of her, subtly playing with her ring- the nervous tic she’d quickly picked up and that had become her favourite.

“How does formal Paranormal education work? The more I know, the easier it’ll be for me to make a decision.”

Though she was already leaning towards the no, she was far too anxious to settle on that without ‘taking time’ to think. She wanted to learn the things she didn’t know about the Paranormal world, but at the same time Casey already answered all of her questions… And the thought of more than that scared her. Nevermind that there really was so much taking up her time with the training and daily bee larvae implantation and tending.

Sylvie was old enough to know what a hesitant answer meant. She didn’t care to make a big deal out of it, which was probably something Trisha wasn’t expecting. It was just one way she felt there would be a chance to get to know her Grandson’s fiance in a meaningful way. Having also come from outside their family, she knew full and well how difficult it was to get settled into things that one simply didn’t understand. She’d not spent any great deal of time in her early years with a formal education either. No great Witch’s union, or a coven in the hills of the Alps…

Her family had been part of that burgeoning middle class, her own magical blood coming from the deeper European interior. Her father had come from Romania, trading goods from further East and leveraging his own Orange magic to safely and securely move cargo through wartorn regions. She had little to no idea where her power came from, or why so many were so impressed with her level of command and control over the forces within her. Yet, here she was… And she had to get used to all the strangeness that came with a whole world of magic she didn’t know.

”Casseau teaches you, non? He tells, you ask, he explains. It is only formal in so much that we would set aside time for it specifically. After all, there is no university-coven for Aberrations. At least, not to my knowledge.” she admitted with a wry smile as she led Trisha further on to an incredibly plush looking library full of books and shelves with more and more books.

The walls had more pictures interspersed by nicknacks as well, and the entire place did feel about as comfortable as an Oxford sitting room could feel. The leather couches and chairs were large, and looked well used.

“I didn’t realise there were any university-covens at all.” Trisha said in return with a slight laugh. She looked around the library, letting out a soft sigh of relief. She hadn’t been entirely sure where they were going, after all. A library was nice. She’d always liked books, even if she’d spent so many years mainly reading informational ones in the hopes it would suddenly make her grades good enough. But there was a comfort in losing herself in the words, even if it was more boring texts.

She hoped they’d have a nice library in their future home… Or one of the homes. She didn’t imagine Casey would protest, considering they often read in each other's company- or together, sharing a book and reading it out loud.

“I wouldn’t be inclined to go anyway. I did my four years of university, that was enough. But if the tutoring is just some time set aside to learn without any of the other formalities, then I really will think about it. I’d say it would be nice to do when everything calms down, but I assume you’ll be going back to the East Coast then?”

Trisha didn’t sit down, instead drifting towards one of the bookshelves. She didn’t touch anything, just looking.
“This is nice. I might be the one that needs to be dragged away to go home if you let me browse your books.”

Sylvie’s arms swept outward in both directions welcomingly.
”There are books for all ages, and all topics. Entertainment, education… You’re free to read all you want if this is what eases your troubles. I’m no fool… The magic Casey’s used on you is palpable. I’m sure your experience so far has been ill-suited to your hopes.”

She smiled at Trisha, absently swaying back and forth as she watched the relative stranger look around.

”If… You would prefer privacy, that can also be arranged. You needn’t feel as if my presence is a wet blanket. I can become sparse.” she offered quietly, knowing how she typically felt in similar situations.

In truth, if she wasn’t home, she wanted just as badly to be back among her comforts. Little brought her out of her space willingly. And being here in St. Portwell was a big problem already. It was hard to not be in the main workshop, and to have all of her work transferred from there to here was subpar at best. The workstation was out of date, and she wasn’t particularly inclined to make the improvements now that things were going pear-shaped on this coast.

Trisha nodded, her finger carefully trailing down the spine of a leather bound book. Normally her anxiety would hardly let her consider the offer, immediately assuming that taking it would lead to the other person having a worse view of her. But with magical help, she was able to step back and see it as genuine.

Though it hadn’t been long, it was easy to figure out that Sylvie wasn’t an overly social person either. Their first meeting had given a different impression to Trisha, but she was beginning to understand. Sylvie wouldn’t be upset if Trisha asked for privacy, but she also probably wouldn’t push conversation either.

“Honestly, I really don’t mind quieter company if I’m able to read.” She said truthfully. It was a rare experience, seeing as the family library growing up always had someone making noise or trying to annoy the siblings trying to read in peace. Then she’d lived with Cass most of the years through University… But when Cass was out, she could easily spend hours just reading in the living room with Diyah and often a visiting Reyna without it draining her as much as being in a social space normally would.

She turned away from the bookshelf to look at Sylvie again, trying her best to stay relaxed as she continued.
“Actually… I had something I wanted to ask you about. A favour, I guess. Not one I’d expect for free or anything… But it’s for a gift for Casey. I have an idea, but it’s not something I can make. I think I’d need to contribute, but I’m really not sure.”

Sylvie’s face was expressively interested, and she pulled a wheeled chair away from one of the tables in the center of the room to sit in. She wasn’t quiet, so that idea was out of the window. But, at least she could be useful in a true sense. And more work was never a bad thing.

”You would not expect a free gift for my Caseau? I’m not insulted as I am confused: To pay would be for me to take from you, non? And that would take from Caseau in turn. Not because he’s made the currency, you understand… Simply that you share all. And to take from you now, would be to take from him later. In turn, that may take from you again. We ask nothing of family, and give freely.”

It was long winded as an explanation, but somewhat necessary, as she was well aware that the words she used could count just as much as the inflection with which they were said. And she’d hate if someone implied that all of her things were just Maxwell’s. She’d had a stellar career once her designs made it into European jeweler’s cases, and had plenty of time to amass a small fortune in her own right.
After all, magic made pieces that simply weren’t replicable. She could charge exorbitant prices for special clients. Her family just reaped the rewards of such a lengthy and storied career.

“I didn’t want to assume that just because I’m engaged to Casey, you’d make something for free for me. It feels like it would be devaluing your work. But… I’m also not used to family that gives to each other like that. On one side it’s out of obligation, on the other there's no such thing as free.” Trisha admitted, surprising herself a bit with her honesty. Must be the spell… But it wasn’t really the deeper stuff. Just an explanation for why it would be her assumption.

Everything was transactional with her family in St Portwell. Even if Ezra was the one sending her money, she knew it was so that he didn’t need to deal with her. It benefited him. She wouldn’t even think of asking Tansy for a favour, but if she did… No, she couldn’t think about it. The closest to being that would be Sabrina. Even then, Trisha had paid rent when living in her house. Insisted on it, not trusting the offer of a free room.

“I understand what you mean but… If I don’t pay anything, wouldn’t it be more of a gift from you rather than from me?”

Sylvie clicked her fingers against the table for a few moments before turning her head upward and smiling.
”There are philosophical arguments to be had. But, ultimately, the thought is yours. You are the one who put forth the effort of thought to consider his Christmas experience. This year will be the worst for all five of them. For you to consider his comfort, and to love him in that pain? It is your gift, Trisha… No different than if he liked laser discs, and you bought him a pile of laser disks for christmas. You didn’t make them. You just bought them. But, you thought of doing that to begin with, thus, the emotion behind the object is your gift.” she did her best to explain simply, and failing to do so in her estimation.

Trisha nodded. It made sense… And it was almost funny. She’d explained to Casey the kinds of gifts she liked- ones with thought behind them, not caring about the financial value, yet here she was worrying that it would be worthless if she didn’t spend money on it. She was too used to that being her worth, along with her body.

“Alright… You’re right. The gift wouldn’t even be a thought without me. Though I’m not sure it’ll be one that’ll help his comfort… But hopefully he’ll like it, at least.” She nibbled on her lip for a moment, trying to figure out how best to explain the idea. There were more worries with that. What if it sounded stupid or worthless?

No, that didn’t matter. She could never be entirely certain, but it felt like something Casey would like. That was all that mattered.

“I want to give him something that allows him to communicate with my bees. I’m not sure how it would work… Maybe an item that can translate his White Lux into pheromone signals, and vice versa. Technically he can give them commands when we finish setting up the new equipment, but this isn’t the same, because that doesn’t let them understand him. I want something to allow free communication. I think they’d see him as an equal, or maybe as the big bee protector. I’m not sure. It’s… Because the bees are such an important part of my life and magic, I want him to be a part of that too. Even if most of what the bees communicate is nonsense.”

Sylvie couldn’t help but clap a bit. It was gentle, and clearly for herself as she became immesurably excited. She liked nothing more than a good challenge, and incorporating Apparitional Magic that was clearly attuned toward natural processes was never easy. She had no clue that there was already an example created that she could pull the spell structure from, so she had no reason to ask Trisha to show her the Princess doll. In her head, this was a brand new problem that her talented Granddaughter hadn’t handled in an incredibly elegant and sophisticated fashion.

As it was, this would still be far different to what Mia had done. It was extending a piece of herself into the artifact…

And then, suddenly, Sylvie wasn’t so excited. Suddenly the prospect seemed a lot more dangerous.
”I… Believe I will need the cooperation of your Patron. I will do my best to minimize such a requirement, but I believe there could be overlap between the required theoretical processes, and… Sealing.” she spoke plainly, letting the words come from her mouth cleanly and clearly.

“Sealing? Why would sealing be involved?” Trisha asked, furrowing her brow. As far as she was aware, sealing had one outcome- a trapped Apparition within an object, that sometimes could be drawn from. Then, there wouldn’t be any bees to communicate with in the first place. Not that sealing the Queen could be any kind of consideration.

“I’m… not sure it’ll work then. Neither of us want her sealed, for obvious reasons. She has passed all of her magic and knowledge onto me, but I guess that doesn’t really help.”

”I simply have little experience formatting artifacts to safely interact with Apparitional magic without the intention of it functioning as a vessel for sealing. This does not mean it is impossible, non? Simply, I am uneducated. But, no task is too great for Sylvie Richoux. Mark my words.”

She considered the options she did know, and did her best to think of an intelligible solution to what Trisha was asking for.

”Currently, the biggest consideration is a fragment of the entity’s power, so that it would function as a secondary core of power. Like… A comic book character. Those lanterns.” she referenced a particular popular comic book character and the trope surrounding it.

Trisha pursed her lips thoughtfully, trying to dredge up some memory of any kind of superhero comic. Both Cass and Sal read them growing up, and talked a lot about that stuff, but it was difficult to figure out the relevance here.

“I don't really read comics, so I'm not entirely sure who those are… But I've got a rough idea of what you meant. I'm not sure if it's something the Queen would agree to. She was sealed before, so giving up a fragment would take some convincing…" She trailed off, nibbling her lip as she thought about it a bit more.

“It would probably mean the bees would register Casey as… Me or her. Or maybe, some kind of secondary Queen. It would risk them getting confused and not sure who to follow… Or maybe it can be programmed in a way that they'll recognise it as him."

It was more complicated than she expected. Obviously, she hadn't thought it would be easy, but she also hadn't expected it to involve having to give up any amount of actual power. She wasn't sure if the Queen would approve, or Casey in the end…

Sylvie was, obviously, missing a piece of the puzzle that she wasn’t considering. Trisha had even said it herself, yet Sylvie’s bias made it easy to pass up the idea of the usefulness of White Lux in the situation. It was the hue-saturation of Nostalgia, whose observational and connective properties so often allowed one to bridge the gap between Apparition and Adept. It simply accepted and reflected all other colors in the spectrum, amplifying the capabilities of Joint Casting.

And Sylvie definitely wasn’t thinking of this concept in terms of Joint Casting. Thankfully, she was at least self aware enough to admit that she could be wrong to herself. She’d done so much work in her life that she’d learned to naturally assume that her solution wasn’t the best. Just very good and very practical. Finesse was necessary for something like this. It took more thinking, and more planning. But, she also knew it would ultimately be helpful if the Apparition in question was willing to play ball.

”Then I believe we both have research to undertake, non? I will consult Maxwell in private; he usually has elegant solutions where I would use a hammer. What sort of form was this intended to take? A pendant, or… Forbid another ring. Leon, he wears the rings on so many fingers, it is simply gouache. Especially when it is all so elegant in itself! Always remember, Trisha: If a piece is masterful, one should not hide it in between anything. It should stand out on its own, and scream its beauty in solitude. Thankfully, the band you picked out for him is homely. Not that it is not beautiful or meaningful, only that, did one not realize the intricacy of the piece, they would suspect nothing of its value. And, value isn’t… Well, you understand. I insult your intelligence by rambling such.”

Trisha smiled, nodding along. She hadn't actually picked out Casey's engagement ring, but she wasn't going to tell Sylvie that… ultimately it didn't matter. She'd given it to him.

At least the idea of using a fragment of the Queen's power was put aside for now. Trisha was willing to talk to the Queen about what might work, but asking something like that would've been incredibly difficult. Talking to the Queen was already difficult as it was. She felt like she shouldn't disturb her after all the magic and knowledge had been passed over… But she was fairly certain there was nothing in what she'd passed about imbuing a magical object to imitate parts of her ability. So, she'd have to ask.

“I do understand. I haven’t worn many other rings on my left hand since Casey proposed.” She held up her left hand, with the only other ring besides her engagement ring being a simple gold band. Though she was never someone to overload on jewellery in the first place.
“I was thinking some kind of pendant… Something simple looking too. Casey isn't exactly the showy type."

Which made it difficult. She wasn't sure if he'd even want another piece of jewelry. All he seemed to wear were his dog tags and now the engagement ring. She was sure he'd wear anything she gave him, but that didn't mean she wanted to give him something he didn't like.

“Maybe something oval or circular, that matches his dog tags… Without being another one, of course. I'd say it could have a quote or something engraved in it, but I don't have one in mind." She paused, thinking about it a bit more. It didn't need to be made out of metal, did it? Maybe she was thinking too narrowly.

“It doesn't have to be made from metal, does it? Could it be made of something like amber? It looks a lot like solidified honey, which I think would be nice." She continued, wringing her hands together.
“Sorry, I'm not being very decisive. I've only really been thinking about what I want it to do, rather than what it should look like."

Sylvie nodded along as Trisha did her best to describe what she wanted. She liked to think that she knew what Casey’s tastes were, and she believed that something entirely more subtle may be right for him. All five of the children had their ears pierced young, but Casey had been the only boy to keep them open. She liked the idea of ear jewelry, but then wondered if he really liked it nowadays, or if the military forcing them out and the holes closing gave him a case for new feelings.

But she also knew full well that stomping all over Trisha as she tried to think it out would be ignoble and uncouth. She’d be a mean, mean old lady if she didn’t let this young woman accurately express her love through a commission’s concept.

She did, at least, feel incredibly receptive and excited for the use of Amber as a material. It was pleasurable to work with, and oftentimes had magical properties that were only active in the presence of a Luxal signal. She immediately had an idea.

”Would it be morbid to utilize a piece which houses the subjects of your Patron? Not any bees: Ancient bees, long lost to time. From the golden age of her rule. Maybe their lingering essence could bridge the gap we stand across between function and form.” she explained, seeing how Trisha reacted to the idea.

Would that be possible? Trisha herself didn’t have a problem with it, though the Queen might. If the bees were already trapped in amber, then they were long dead. They hadn’t ever been hers either. She was sure the Queen would recognise whatever bee it was hadn’t been killed by them. If it would help… She was willing to try.

“Do you have amber like that? It’s very specific, and I definitely don’t. The best I could get is directions towards where her kingdom once was.” Trisha responded, not against the idea but instead thinking about the practicalities.
“If it’s something we can get, then I think that would work. It would be nice, even, since it's another connection to me… Assuming Casey doesn’t find it morbid. But I don’t think he would.”

For Trisha, at least, a long gone bee trapped in Amber wasn’t all that morbid. Especially not when she’d been implanting bee larvae in human flesh for the last few days. It was the natural cycle of things… Even if her own bees' deaths affected her, she could be practical about it.

Sylvie nodded calmly.
”If nothing else, the Temple of Charming and Graceful Individuals has become a masterful sourcing organization. With many rich Americans in their pockets, they have access to hidden caches, special collections, and private vaults where individuals are happy to donate into their causes.”

She slid a piece of blank paper from a slot in the desk, and a pen flicked into existence between her fingers. There, she began to sketch in pen, with incredible proficiency and fluidity. She didn’t pass over her lines, darkening them or boldening them with pressure of the pen’s fountain tip alone. Such mastery over artistic rendition could only be two things: Years and years of practice and skill developed by a lifetime’s work. Or, magic. It was a much safer bet to assume both were involved.

”Something to go with those tags of his… Could be very subtle.”

Trisha had looked at them enough to know what they were in her head. She also knew that he still wore the rubber edges around them, making them almost outlined by black. He explained the rubber was meant to keep them from clanking together in stealth operations. But, Sylvie was very clearly drawing a depiction of the tags now being lined by amber fittings.

”The gasket… He no longer needs to remain hidden, non? So, we replace the industrial darkness of rubber with the natural, time-tested beauty of crystal amber. Perhaps.” she offered, knowing that Trisha had been more partial to a pendant to begin with.

So she also drew two other designs. A full on pendant with a thick gem of Amber in the center, surrounded by two bees holding it in place as the fixture. And then, a simple bead of the amber depicted as slotting in between the two tags, sitting perfectly center and being simple, but elegant with a single bee resting within.

”These are just ideas of course.” she added, finally sliding the page out so Trisha could see completely.

Trisha glanced across the three designs with visible awe in her gaze. To be able to come up with and draw them so quickly… It made sense, for someone who’d been making jewellery like this for so long. But Trisha was still as impressed as she watched.

The full pendant was mentally rejected first. It was nice, but too much. It was the kind of thing that she’d consider wearing to specific occasions… So if she wouldn’t even wear it all the time, she doubted Casey would. Though it was nice… It was a bit more difficult between the two other ideas. They were both nice, and incorporated into the one thing Casey always wore. Of course Trisha understood why… It would be nice to add something to that.

“I like this.” She pointed to the final design with a smile. In the end, she didn’t want to actually put something on the tags. That felt presumptuous, even if Sylvie was right that Casey didn’t need to remain hidden anymore. She didn’t want to force him to change it.

“It’s simple, and with the bee within it, he’ll always think of me when he looks at it.” She said quietly. Something unobtrusive but pretty in its own right… It seemed perfect.
“I like the subtlety, but it’s also its own piece. It’s… A perfect design, honestly. As long as he doesn’t try to put any rubber around it too, to stay stubbornly stealthy!”

The last bit was meant to be a joke, and she laughed slightly as she said it.

She smiled, taking the piece of paper and marking the design she liked the most before folding it and sliding it into her sweater pocket.

”He is rather stubborn. Like his Father. Always in trouble because of his mouth. He’s so much different now… Would you… Like to see pictures?” Sylvie asked, wriggling slightly out of nervousness.

She truly loved her late-blooming grandson. Always had. He’d been an incredibly special little child, with so much introspective consideration that oftentimes it made her feel like she was talking to a little man. She had a few other grandchildren like that… And those, she held in highest regard because she could connect with them early. It didn’t bloom later, or worse, calcify into a near-stranger relationship. But, it wasn’t just that. Casey set himself further apart by his convictions and commitment. He’d always been stubborn. That was her favorite part.

”I have many… If you can keep a secret, I’ll admit that he occupies a tender place in my heart. I kept two cameras active. Usually one was reserved for my favorites. Perhaps this makes me a bad mother as well, but when you have so many, and they have so many… It becomes impossible to remember them all equally. I am no White or Pink Adept, after all.”

“I won’t tell anyone. At least you tried, even if you had favourites.” Trisha responded with a slight shrug. It was more than she could say for her Dad. It wasn’t just that he had favourites… He neglected all beyond the first five or six. Even among the oldest, some just got pressure rather than any kind of love.

“My Grandmother probably doesn’t remember my name, but I can’t blame her for that. The longest I spent around her was when I was twelve, for about a month. That was the only time, so… It’s natural to be closer to the ones you connect with and see more often, I guess. As long as no direct children are neglected.”

Sometimes, she did feel sad about her lack of connection to the majority of her Mom’s side. But she barely had a connection to Maria herself… And from how the single cousin she was in semi-regular contact with made it sound, it wasn’t particularly worth it. Only a few family members were really tolerable. But her memory of her Grandmother was that she’d been nice, and doting, even to the grandchild that was practically a stranger.

“I’d love to see pictures of younger Casey. I’ve barely seen any.”

Sylvie leaned forward, letting one thin hand reach out to Trisha’s. She tried to make it clear in her expression that it wasn’t a pity as much as it was a sense of mourning. She was affected, it seemed, by Trisha’s own truthful admission.

”She remembers your name… You are impressionistic. And very beautiful. You would make any grandmother proud.”
Her thumb stroked the back of Trisha’s hand for a moment before she cleared her throat and pulled away. Her spare hand slid across the table, and it began to shimmer before she spoke.

”Snacks and coffee to the Study.”

At the same time, the lights dimmed, and a projector screen unfurled from one of the walls until it was full size.

”What… Would you like to see? I have baby pictures, I have vacations they made to us in France. I have pictures of him from birthdays, and special moments from the Church. His communion, his early school… Pictures of when he started to grow… I’ve… I imagine I’ve shown my hand.” she grinned in a foolish way.

Truly, he was her favorite. She had a list, but it wasn’t even a contest.

”You must understand, when you meet a baby and feel its spirit instantly… It leaves an impression.” she admitted.
”I always thought he would Kindle very young. Now, I believe that he was simply so capable of containing it all that, well… To react emotionally? He simply could not bring himself. He was stoic. Stern. Very funny to make fun with. Because he would be so resistant.” she described her grandson with incredible fondness in her eyes.

Trisha tried to picture it as best as she could… Little Casey with a stern expression refusing to crack. She couldn’t help but giggle a bit just at the thought. It was so different from the Casey she knew now. He was definitely still stoic, but he’d shown so many emotional reactions around and towards her.

“You’ll have to show me that… I can kind of picture it, but I’m too used to how expressive he can be now.” Trisha smiled, finally making her way to one of the couches to sit down.

“Honestly, I’d like to see all of them. But if you have so many, there probably isn’t enough time.” And she wasn’t sure if Sylvie would be happy to spend hours going through Casey pictures, even if he was clearly her favourite. Trisha would… But she’d also gladly stare at his face for hours without doing anything.

“So if you have any favourites, I’d like to see them.”

While the desk was shimmering, Trisha couldn’t actually see anything on it. That didn’t seem to stop Sylvie from treating it like a touch-screen to a computer. Her bony fingers deftly swept through piles of photographs kept in this magical format, and rather than a projector itself showing them the images, the screen simply pulled them up like it was a completely digital system.

The first picture was of the little boy, hair short and eyes staring with piercing blue up at the camera. His expression was deadly serious, and both his little fists were clearly balled up tight to the white knuckle stage.

”I keep this picture close. I had just asked him- Well… Told him that he was being difficult, and that it was going to earn him a nap were he not able to refrain from these difficulties. He bridled further, and rather than get upset, I… Just took a picture. I told him that I would embarrass him for the rest of his life with it. And then we had a nice nap while Maxwell took the others on the lake.”

The picture turned, and it was the same little Casey in the same outfit, but passed out completely and tucked up against the arm of a couch. She looked at Trisha with wide eyes, the expression clearly translating a cuteness overflow.

”I do feel bad. He has told me of his sleeping troubles after the war. It is a dreadful thing… I can only be thankful that our area was not as badly affected as others, and that we’ve been able to help the surrounding areas rebuild quickly. He spent a year with us after that-”

She changed the picture to a far more familiar Casey, hair still short but clearly only from a couple of years ago.

”We were able to offer the unit a place to stay, and they used our property as a logistical hub.”

It was him in full uniform, walking with a clipboard among a group of other soldiers as they passed through an area full of rubble and destruction. He was clearly pointing, giving orders, and some people seemed to be in motion within the image, blurring away from the center in rapid paces.

”I wound up finding a new level of respect for him. I could see all those qualities I imagined in him as a child.”

Trisha nodded, unable to tear her gaze away from the picture. While the first two had been incredibly adorable, he was very attractive in this one. She imagined it being a candid shot helped, with no need to pose. It was natural… All of them were. It was nice to see something else from that time of his life.

“He impresses me all of the time. He’s… a really great man.” She wasn’t quite sure how to put into words how she felt. Wasn’t sure she could to someone else, aside from Casey himself. It required dragging up her feelings, after all. Because she knew that part of why he was able to stay with her where others hadn’t were those kinds of traits, and the ones that had been solidified as a soldier.

“He’s been sleeping better recently, I think. I’m not really sure what it was like before, but he’s said that being with me helps.” Even if he hadn’t slept the last couple of nights. Neither of them had, and she had a feeling it might continue like that for a while.

“Is there any way I can get that first one? This one too, honestly…” She rubbed the back of her neck, looking at Sylvie with a rueful smile.
“Actually, if I start asking for them now, I’m going to end up wanting most of them, I think.”

Sylvie giggled, nodding her head and patting Trisha’s hand again as her body leaned over to comfort Trisha.
”I shall compile the ones you like most, and ask someone to place them on a serial bus drive for your computer. So you can pick through them as you like. I have done that before, for some of the others. Lynette has one for each child, though I was scolded for the size disparity between the five files. I’m not sure that woman understands equity… She’s more of an equality kind of person.” she grimaced, shaking her head.

And this impromptu photo viewing went on like this for what could only have been described as forever. During, the two women must’ve viewed almost a thousand pictures either directly of, or in some way involving the subject of observation. Their favorite soldier. Sylvie gushed about him more than once, her passion only equal when moments of talking about her actual children came up. At least for them, she seemed equally passionate and ferocious over. She’d spin out into small stories, almost always leading them back to the topic at hand within a couple minutes. It seemed she was a great story teller, if only because she understood how to make them concise and focused on the topic of discussion. Only once or twice did she veer off into a tangent, and that was only on the subject of her least favorite daughter-in-law.

Her utter contempt toward Lynette was clear, and it showed in how she talked about Elise… She clearly had disliked grandchildren in the same fashion that she had those who left good impressions, and Elise seemed to be chief among them. It was, however, easy to see as an outsider that it all stemmed from her similarities to her mother. Which could have easily left Trisha with the impression that Elise’s apparent bid for power toward the vacuum of Lynette’s death was something she disapproved of greatly.

However, those were only small moments. A fully bronze-clad automaton had long since begun to supply them with a steady stream of coffee and buttered breads, which she also had plenty of stories of. This was, in no uncertain terms, where Casey’s love of carbs came from. The little woman was voracious, and probably went through two dozen croissants with a whole stick of butter over the time they’d spent together. Yet, the elder woman felt no bridling or resistance to the time they were spending, so she let it continue until they were finally interrupted.

She’d settled on a picture of Casey with his Father, and both brothers. Trisha would’ve easily recognized seventeen year old Leon, as he looked no different than nineteen year old Leon save for a bit of muscle definition. Max Gravity stood tall over his sons, one hand on Leon’s shoulder while the other came down further and rested on Junior’s face in a loving caress. In between both boys, Casey was beaming, and had a championship belt in his hands that he was holding around his waist. All three boys looked like they’d been competing, with Leon’s face marred by a massive swollen knot around his eye.

And that’s when both Casey and Big Max walked in, casually chatting about something that neither women were privy to. But, seeing them and his picture up on the screen, Casey’s face lit up and he beamed brightly.

”I guess this would be an easy thing for the both of you to do!”

His long strides took him right up behind Trisha, and he kissed her on the head as one hand swept out to present her bracelet to her once again. It was completely fixed, though each sphere now had the addition of metal bands that held each sphere in place slightly. It didn’t diminish the beauty of the piece, but Sylvie did frown.

”The cables were not a sturdy enough binding?” she asked with concern in her voice.

”There is tremendous pressure in between each. I could see few other ways that did not involve more complex magics and reactuating formulae to fit around the addition of new spectrum participants.” Papa Max sputtered out, technical jargon soaring into the air and passing through Trisha’s head with only a vague understanding.

”Mmmm…-” Sylvie hummed in consideration. ”-You are once again a life preserver, Maxwell.”

”Saver, Nana… Life saver.” Casey giggled, hands resting on Trisha’s shoulders.

Trisha tilted her head back to smile up at Casey, eyes squinting softly. He’d be able to see the tiredness in them, so used to reading her now. Really, the hours spent with Sylvie had been enjoyable. She liked seeing all the pictures, and hearing stories about him and the rest of her family. She only felt a bit uncomfortable when the stories turned a bit more negative, especially around Elise. But it had been more manageable than she expected.

But it was still draining, spending so much time with someone she wasn’t comfortable with yet. Not that many of those existed. At least it gave her some confidence that she could spend a good amount of time with Sylvie.

“Thank you for fixing it.” She tore her gaze away from Casey to look at Papa Max, still smiling. She slipped the bracelet back onto her wrists, cautiously turning it a few times. It didn’t immediately expand, at least.
“I was worried I’d have to carry around a basketball sized bead all the time.”

Laughing, she went right back to looking up at Casey.
“We didn’t look at too many embarrassing photos of you, don’t worry. Not that I think any were embarrassing… You were cute in all of them.”

There were still a few pieces of bread left, and Casey had reached over to grab one and slide it through the bottom of the butter dish before popping it into his mouth. Both hands were massaging Trisha’s shoulders, doing their best to clear her of any tension.

”Caseau does not take embarrassing photos. Sylvie, did you show her my favorites?” he asked, hand reaching over and patting Trisha on the head like she’d done something correctly.
”And, of course-” he leaned down in that conspiratorial way he did, as if making the moment purely between the two of them in spite of company. ”-I relish in fixing the mistakes of others. Don’t tell Casey this.”

Casey laughed aloud, playfully pushing Max’s shoulder.
”I’m right here, Papa, I can hear you.” he laughed.

”Oh… Right.” he grinned back as Sylvie moved her hands around to find one last picture.

And it was, maybe, something that would make Trisha cry. It was the other night, before everything crazy happened. Thanksgiving, with Casey on one knee on the stage, proposing to Trisha.

”This one?” Sylvie asked up.

Max nodded.

”It is the first moment of the best years of both your lives. And in spite of what happened that night, I hope you both cherish this image as much as I do. We don’t know you very well, Trisha… But Casey has chosen you. So, rather than test you or make you to feel uncomfortable in order to temper you, we just hope you will learn to accept our love, and understand that we see what our Grandson does too. You’re worthy of our time and affection.” he explained down to her, the hand that had patted her head now resting on Casey’s hand which sat upon her shoulder.

”We love you both. Very much.”
Sylvie nodded, a familiar expression of a satisfied cat forming on her face.

“Ah-” Trisha reactively welled up, between the picture and what Max said. Her hands moved up to rub her eyes. She didn’t actually want to cry in front of them all.

She hadn’t actually seen any pictures of the proposal yet. She knew Casey had it all magically recorded, but there hadn’t really been a moment to sit down and watch through it with him. They’d been so busy, and she hadn’t thought to ask. So seeing it made her emotional.

Then his words… Had Casey talked to him, or was it just an old man’s intuition? The magical bolstering stopped her from immediately panicking over it, once again able to step back and actually hear what was said.

She couldn’t immediately believe it, but they didn’t seem to have that expectation. Explicitly said they hoped she’d learn to accept their love. It was a difficult thing, because there’d been so little familial love in her life. So to have Casey’s grandparents showing it to her, and for Max to try to reassure her, was overwhelming. Though it wasn’t in a negative way. It was… nice.

“Th-Thank you. I’ll try my best to accept it. I really appreciate it, I- I mean it’s probably obvious, but I really don’t have much present family.” She sniffed, even as she managed to stop the tears that threatened to flow down her face.
“I’m extra lucky to have found Casey. Or I guess, that he found me… I really do cherish him, and the moment in this picture.”

”Things are hard, and easy. Sylvie and I have been together fifty years. She has seen me come home from war, and peace. We have hated each other, and loved each other intensely. Again, I emphasize: This will be the greatest part of your life. The part you spend together.”

And then, of course without her permission, the massive man squatted slightly so he was at her level in the seat, and both his massive arms wrapped around her entirely. It didn’t feel like he was trapping her, but he did squeeze down. And she’d be able to hear the same mechanical whirring from beneath his shirt. One arm’s mechanical parts even clicked slightly, which made the hug a little unsettling until Sylvie spoke up.

”Maxwell… You need calibration. Your arm-”

He nodded, but kept hugging Trisha.

”I am cherishing, my Love… That can wait.”

Casey giggled, patting his Grandfather’s back.
”Papa, don’t crowd her. She’s particular.”

”Exposure therapy is a cure-all.” he retorted simply, but still pulled away and grinned down at Trisha.
”Will you both stay for dinner?”

”Non, Maxwell… Dinner is several hours away.” Sylvie insisted, waving Trisha and Casey along.
”The two of you should feel free to return to your lives. There is no obligation of time between us. This has been most enjoyable for me, Trisha.”

She was really just as exhausted as Trisha, but there was no way in Hell that her pride was going to let her say that aloud. Plus, she wanted more bread. She didn’t want to have to think about what others would eat.

Casey looked between his grandparents, then down at Trisha.
”Home’s probably good… Right?”

Trisha was glad that Casey said it, so she was just agreeing rather than pushing. At least only one of the two Grandparents seemed to push for them to stay in the first place, but she still would have felt bad saying no.

But the hug, small thing as it may be, had only drained her more. While she managed not to tense up like she normally would, even relaxed, she still found it difficult. She just wasn’t used to it… At least, she hoped that was the case, and eventually she’d be more tactile with people who she wasn’t dating. But exposure therapy via Cass hadn’t made a major difference yet.

“Right… We’ve got a lot to get done too.” Trisha agreed, still feeling like she needed to make some kind of excuse. Even if it wasn’t a lie, it wasn’t like they had to rush back. But staying for dinner would be the worst. Things like this she could handle, but she had too many issues around sitting down and eating with other people.

“But this was really nice. I enjoyed myself, even if… things didn’t get off to a great start.” She admitted, smiling at Sylvie and then Max. She had enjoyed it, for all it drained her. Just like spending time with most people did, even if she was very good at pushing through it. There just wasn’t as much of a need to now.

“I’m really looking forward to getting all the pictures I liked… Then I can start decorating our home with pictures of Casey.” Her smile was more playful as it turned back to Casey.

He’d helped her up out of the seat, and the two of them were close now as he made way to grab her hand.
”Oh, you’re getting the collection… Great. I can’t wait to see my bare ass on the wall.”

Sylvie laughed aloud, shaking her head.
”You will learn to appreciate it, my stubborn boy.”

She stood, and slowly made her way over. He leaned down instinctively so she could kiss his cheeks and he could kiss hers. After a little more time of small talk that brought them to the door, eventually Big Max actually bothered to walk them out and down to the truck. Another couple of minutes later, and they were driving back down the road toward the edge of the island, where they’d get back on the boat and make way for the shore again.

Casey didn’t say much at first, but eventually, he looked at Trisha.

”I really love you. I know we’re gonna be able to do this. Even if it’s hard. We’ll do it.” he conceded, not knowing exactly what kind of Trisha he’d be dealing with in this moment.

Trisha nodded, not immediately responding. When she’d gotten into the car, she immediately curled up with her knees pulled up to her chest and her head half resting on her knees. But it wasn’t a tense position like it normally was. She was drained, but relaxed enough. Because it was just them again, even if she was more nervous than normal in those moments.

What happened when they arrived, the panic and the cold feeling of nearby death, was still in the back of her mind. But right now, her love for Casey overwhelmed everything. She’d spent hours looking at photos of him and hearing stories, which only made her miss him more. It didn’t matter how he was feeling, she’d be able to handle it to be with him. For now…

“I really love you too. We will, because we’re together, and we’re used to dealing with difficult things alone.” She responded quietly, head resting on her knees at the perfect angle to look at him.

“I don’t mind that it’s hard, because I get to be with you. Struggling through things together only makes me love you more in the end.” She admitted. Though, she wasn’t sure how it was going to go this time, it was how she felt when it came to all her issues that had reared their ugly heads.

“Did you manage to get advice from Max?”

He shook his head. In truth, they’d spent nearly four hours just sitting and talking. Casey confessed a great deal, including his creeping dread of disconnection. The need to force himself to be the same person who others thought he was naturally. What he’d gotten instead of advice, however, was a long winded confirmation. One that he had, to an extent, been afraid of this whole time.

”No real advice. It’s a problem that some people just have, it seems. Even though he says he’s gone through the same feelings, the only solution was faith. He said God helps him a lot. Which isn’t really my thing, y’know? We talked about it all being silly knowing there’s magic. But, the principle of the New Dawn is that there is a God, and that all the crazy magic around us doesn’t change that. That everything’s intelligently designed, and that the Greater Will is just a part of the Trinity. Y’know, the Holy Spirit.” he shrugged.

”But, he also admitted that he’s been through the same thing. That, when he came home from the first World War, that he looked at everyone differently. Even my Grandmother. He said it took a lot of years to listen to her problems and not get upset by how trivial it seemed to him. But, obviously you look at them today and wouldn’t assume it was like that.” he admitted to her in a calm, quiet fashion.

He figured that too much emotion one way or another would trigger her anxiety, and make it seem like he was either happy about the conclusion, or too upset to deal with it. So, keeping neutral was his only hope.

Trisha furrowed her brow slightly, lips pressing together. It wasn’t great news. She hadn’t expected Max to have some advice that fixed everything, but the solution being faith and just keeping doing what he was doing didn’t sit well with her.

And Casey confirmed one thing she’d thought for the last couple of days- that her problems seemed trivial to him. It was a bit different from the belief that was true that she already held… But, of course they looked that way. Her issues were nothing in comparison to going through a War. The only thing that could come close was the Stygian Snake, and that had been a matter of months, not years. It really wasn’t the same.

Which was why she’d have to do better at not burdening him right now. She could handle her problems herself. She’d done that until now.

“So even if he didn’t give any helpful advice, at least you know that it’s not just you. And it’s something we can work through. They managed it.” Though, a lot of years was a long time. It would be difficult for her to keep a lid on and improve her own problems with that being the case, nevermind if they brought kids into the equation.

But being perfectly honest to herself, she wasn’t sure she wanted to have children until she dealt with her anxiety better. She didn’t want it to end up affecting them.

“Since faith isn’t your thing, maybe you need to find something else? Though… I’m not really sure there’s anything that could replace that. I’ve never been religious myself, so I don’t even know what that feels like. But, uh… Well, I’m willing to do whatever I can to help. I’ll be here the whole time.”

”It’s just… Not real. I have to tell myself its not real, and I have to be the force that drives the boat. I need to be the engine, and the wheels. It… I can’t do this to you. I don’t want to. I just want to be fucking perfect. I want you to look at me and feel safe, not fucking wonder if I even give a shit. It’s not fair to you.” he looked a little sad, but his hand still reached out.

”I have to have faith. Maybe not in God, but definitely in you. And myself. That we’ll both be strong, and we’ll both make it out like they did. I’ve gotta have faith that you believe me when I say I love you. And that your problems aren’t trivial. That the world I live in now isn’t smaller than the one I lived in before.”

They slid back onto the barge, and Casey locked the car again. His arms quickly swept over the console, wrapping under Trisha from both angles and practically tossing her over it into his arms.

”The bad things aren’t real. Not for me. They’re all gone. The war’s gone. Nothing’s more important than you.” he whispered.

Trisha immediately curled up against him, twisting around so she could hug him back.
“But they still affect you and make you feel things… And those feelings are real.”

She took a deep breath. She didn’t want him to take it all onto himself. That wasn’t fair, and it only confirmed her feelings of inadequacy. Because of all her problems, he wanted to push through and deal with his own. He didn’t want to lean on her like she leant on him.

“You don’t have to be perfect. I don’t want you to be perfect. The Casey I love isn’t perfect, but I still feel safe with him. Even when I’m anxious because of something you’ve said, because I know deep down that you’ll still listen to me and protect me. I don’t want the ideal person, I want you. And I want to support you too when you’re struggling with something. Because I can be strong.”

She pulled herself back enough to look up at him.
“Even if you feel like my problems are trivial, and are struggling to hear them… Just don’t push me away. I’d rather you snap at me or get upset. I know you don’t want that, but I don’t want you to clam up. We’re working through this together.”

Though, she knew it was hypocritical of her to say that right now, when she was already mentally minimising her own problems.

Even if he was supposed to just push through, every little contrarian thought he had felt like another failure. Like he was just perpetuating a cycle of pain that he couldn’t force her to participate in. But she didn’t want an escape. She wanted to deal with it…

Only because she feels like she’s not good enough for anything better…

It wasn’t true. It wasn’t real. He railed against it with fire and brimstone, only to sputter out mentally. The engine stalls.

”Your problems aren’t fucking trivial… You deserve someone attentive to them at all times. Not just sometimes. Perfect ain’t flawless, perfect is just right. It’s perfect. The balance. The fucking… I don’t know. I’m just gonna get us both stressed out going over it like this. You don’t deserve it constantly getting thrown in your face either.” was the reply he could muster.

It was hard for him not to think that if she heard all this, she may actually come around to caring about herself. But the truth was, they were more similar in a lot of ways than either realized. Chief among those similarities was this incessant need to please those around them, and not burden others with their problems.

“To most people, perfect is flawless.” Trisha countered gently, taking a deep breath. She didn’t want to get stressed. Like he said, they would just get stressed out if they kept going over it. It was like they were trapped in a loop. But she just wanted him to see that it was fine if he made mistakes.

Even if she never accepted her own.

“I’ll just say… You are still attentive. Like earlier! Even though you’ve been struggling, and after the call with Leon, you were still there for me. You didn’t have to be, because I wasn’t as affected when we got into the house… But you still were. I don’t need that kind of attention all the time… Sometimes we’ll both be struggling, and we’ll just have to silently sit with each other. But we’ll figure it out.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. They weren’t arguing, yet she still got him first. Bringing up his stubbornness, and willingness to handle the business of the future. Of doing for her, even when he felt like this. It was quite the reverse. Now, he had another opportunity to be the person they both needed. So, aware of it, he took it. He didn’t respond again, and simply nodded his head before bending his neck to kiss her gently.

”I love you, Trisha Bee.”

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Home > Roquefort Island

The day passed along in quiet, subtle tension. Perhaps they’d talked about things, but ultimately the only thing that was settled between them was that something was aching. Neither trusted themselves enough to return to the comfort of one another in totality. Which had a strange, almost adverse effect of Casey being, frankly, more clingy than Trisha was. Of course, as things went, nothing was said about it. No need to: They both understood. It only added to the ominous air. His head in her lap, rather than hers in his…

But sometime during the night, Trisha’s new bracelet had some spontaneous enchantment issues. Casey determined that there was a great deal of physical interference, essentially basal Lux in the form of electricity, causing the size-modification enchantment to destabilize… Thankfully, Trisha had taken it off her wrist, otherwise it wouldn’t have been clear how the ultimate release of the magic would’ve affected Trisha’s hand.

As it was, one of the opaline beads expanded into its full size, about that of a large computer tower. This rapid expansion and loss of magical connection broke the entire enchantment, sending a shock so great that the last bead lodged itself in the back wall down to the brick when it hit. Thankfully the actual material had been magically grown opal to begin with, and its crystalline structure made it incredibly resistant to impact damage in spite of its hollow center. The edges were still inches thick just to be sure whatever component was inside stayed nice and safe. Though, the liquid coolant line went the way of the other connecting cables, snapping in half and spattering gallons of mineral oil across their bedroom.

At least they hadn’t been sleeping. Just laying there in the dark, staring at the same light-polluted sky above them. Only the moon was bright enough to outshine downtown St. Portwell when they were this close… So, they got it all cleaned up and fixed by the time the sun was up again, and Casey bundled the eighteen soccer-ball sized opals into his truck to bring to the one place he knew he could get it all fixed at once, and probably put back together better.
Though, knowing full well she’d expect him to want to go himself, Casey didn’t just invite Trisha to come with him.

”We’ve gotta go to my Grandparents’ place if you wanna get it fixed to practice more.”

It was a serviceable lie. One she could’ve easily pushed against by just working on getting used to the software in the computer without testing the actual harnesses on the bees. Even working on her own magic would’ve been plenty of an excuse, as she needed to get better at repeating the unique pheromone signature they’d attached to the bracelet and to the computer in the first place. It had to be well within a certain range of deviation, after all, or it’d be too easily recreated.

But Trisha was just as quick to accept it for many of the same reasons he was quick to presume her accompaniment. There was a reason for this to be the back and forth, the expectation of one fuelling the expectation of the other. For now, Casey knew they’d both be able to keep it up… The constantly ramping desire to please being passed back and forth like insecure football. But, when would that break?

For now, they were able to make for the south end of the bay, where the rich people really lived. There was the north of course, where Trisha had lived, and out in the woodland outskirts like the old Vanburen mansion or the Templegrounds. But, here in the south, they were rather gaudy about it. Mostly because this was the type of “We’re rich and we like boats” showoffs who couldn’t help but build the absolute most ridiculously out of place Med-style villa mansions they could.

There was a house for sale. One Casey recognized. Enough homework had to be done on it, routinely of course… Eyes on all members. Greyson included.

”I guess your friend Linqian ain’t keepin’ it.” Casey pointed out the window of the truck as they slowly rolled down the road and further on toward the coast.

The Chateau la Laurier was a bit more of a hike, as they had to take a ferry… But at least the family barge was expecting them, so they didn’t have to wait in line or deal with catching one at any particular time. They’d maintained some level of acceptable smalltalk the entire time, though it was a little more obvious that Casey was physically tired after missing another night of sleep. He figured they’d at least be able to reminisce a little bit more about Trisha’s newfound freedom from that time in her life.

”Should we snag it?” he asked with a giggle.

Trisha slowly looked towards where he’d pointed, eyes squinting at the for sale mansion. It wasn’t the worst in the area, but it was gaudier than anything she’d ever want to go near. She was definitely much more of the lowkey rich person- a lot of her family were. She couldn’t even say it was a made rich versus old rich kind of thing… The Devolas had probably been richer for more generations than the Vanburen had. At least, Trisha didn’t even know who her grandparents on that side were.

“Only if we demolish it and rebuild it as something not horrendous. But I don’t really want to risk the sad jazz filled haunting that might follow.” She managed to joke back, with a slight smile.

She wasn’t as tired as Casey, having at least gotten a few hours the night before. Her mind was incredibly active- with anxiety and stress. The bracelet explosion had been stressful enough, nevermind suddenly being dragged along to visit his grandparents. That had meant making herself look presentable in a much shorter time than she normally liked. It wasn’t really something Casey had to worry about, because it was his grandparents. But she was still trying to make an impression… Not that there were many outside of the slowly expanding inner circle that she’d show her makeupless, home self to.

She knew that there were loads of excuses she could use to get out of coming with him. There was other practice she had to do, and growing bees she had to tend to. She didn’t need to go with him to get it fixed. But she needed to go with him to prove that she was coping just fine right now. She could still deal with his family when things were a bit difficult between them, no matter how much she didn’t want to.

Her hands were clasped tightly in her lap, doing her best not to fiddle with the french braid she’d put her hair in- hiding the mess that it had been in. But she didn’t want to ruin that effort. She was forcing herself to not pull her knees up to her chest like she normally would when more anxious to normal, the main tell being the near constant fiddling with her engagement ring.

“There was no way Linqian was going to keep something like that. She’s always been very practical… That kind of house is the opposite of her taste.” She continued. She didn’t find talking about Sycamore members so bad right now. At least, she’d managed to make some amount of peace with some of them. In the end, Linqian and Greyson had done everything they could to help. Though she knew her and Linqian would never be able to be truly friendly, at least there was some respect now.

She was happy enough to go along with the topic. It was better than silence right now when she was so nervous.
“I was… Kind of surprised she was actually dating Greyson. Her and Britney both. They just didn’t seem like each others’ types.” Outside of the physical, that was.

Casey laughed at the thought. Two women? He’d met others with the same proclivity. He figured one was going to be enough to handle, potential for a daughter in the future even more horrifying given all the quiet implications surrounding that concept. How could Greyson have ever thought he’d be able to cope with what he had planned?

”Well, maybe there was always something between them. Her brother hated him, right? I remember her mentioning that, so- Oh, uh… Unless you meant Linqian and Britney. Then, I wouldn’t really know I only know Linqian, I was too out of the loop to have any real contact with Britney when she was first hanging around the Temple. Then when she left, she really never came back.” he explained, remembering those early days, when some of the listless Sycamites were still trying to find their way, and came knocking at the Temple doors.

Back then, Leon still had so many feelings about all of them. He used to get really upset when people brought it up, even. Nowadays, he was thankful that his brother was cleansed of that. At least, seemingly cleansed. Cass seemed to be helping.

”But, I mean… Yeah, I don’t see how that guy was really anyone’s type. Especially not two smart women. Maybe when you’re smarter than the bullshit, it becomes endearing? I just assumed he’d be super insecure and shit.” Casey continued to casually speculate as the house slowly rolled away from them.

It was another cold one, and rainy too. But with the rain was a predicted “heat wave”. They could expect sixty degrees for a couple of days, which was really just Winter’s way of teasing the Pacific North-West before strangling them with an arctic blast that promised December rain with chances of snowfall.
Perfect Christmas traveling weather.

”Like when we met him at that pizza place. You don’t just jump into acting like that when you’re confident in yourself… Unless you’re really malicious. I can’t fucking tell, is the problem. Was he spineless? Or was he evil?” he asked aloud, not exactly expecting Trisha to have any answers.

“He never came across as insecure… Then again, nor do I in public.” Trisha shrugged one shoulder. She wasn’t comparing herself to Greyson, just realising that there could be insecurities underneath his asshole persona.

Though, he was an asshole whether he was spineless or not.
“He was probably both. Which makes it stranger… Maybe Britney would find it cute, but what I know about Linqian, she’d just scoff and kick him when he was down. They used to always fight then flirt, then repeat, ten years ago- in the kind of way you’d expect them to have sex but not last.”

She furrowed her brow, thinking a little bit too hard about the exact motivations of a dead man.
“He can’t have been all evil. Sure, Linqian would ignore every red flag, but I don’t think Britney would. Her moral compass was… skewed, but far as I remember she always did things for the greater good. Not that I agree with what she did or anything.”

The forced Adjoining… Not a topic she wanted to get into, even if she wasn’t one of the victims herself.
“I’m less surprised Britney and Linqian have ended up close. Maybe they were able to put up with his bullshit because they had each other to go to? Or it wouldn’t have lasted if he was still around.”

Casey shrugged in an oddly cold way.
”Not like it lasted all that long to begin with. Just surprising they both let him do what he did, I guess. I mean, I get that there’s a lot of years of sentimentality between them, but the dude was fucked up.”

As if there was zero irony in Trisha dating someone who was probably more fucked up on a much deeper level. Greyson may’ve been a killer, he may’ve done unsavory things… But Casey didn’t imagine a guy like that being able to do what he did exactly. It’d be hard, at least. He walked around with his fancy gun that Casey’d been commissioned to make, and the armor to go with it. But the guy was ultimately an emulator. A poser. If he hadn’t been, he’d have signed up once the war hit home. Obviously, that didn’t happen.

”I guess my only hope is that the kids all get to, y’know, feel like they’re a family. Their moms’ decision to separate is fine, but the kids shouldn’t suffer over it. I mean, I guess if it’s all they know, there’s no harm done. But, I feel bad from an outsider’s perspective. Which doesn’t matter, it’s their life. I’m… Pretty happy about that. That they Linqian didn’t want to stick around. I like her, but she’s too prickly. I feel like we’d argue.” he shrugged, thinking about more than just the other night at the bar. There’d been a few interactions in the Cannery while they were there that left an awkward taste in his mouth.

“She is! Really prickly!” Trisha was suddenly overly enthusiastic, leaning towards Casey without getting in the way of his driving.

“See, this is why what Leon said was wrong. That we were really similar and should be friends.” Wasn’t exactly what he’d said, but close enough.
“Because if you think you’d argue, obviously we aren’t all that similar.”

She settled back down, puffing up her cheeks like an indignant pufferfish. Sure, her and Casey had argued the night before… But that was different. They only argued about big things, stuff that affected their relationship. Linqian would get pissed at everything. Though she’d been far more muted than Trisha remembered, but it was still different to her… Trisha didn’t always explode. Sometimes she just held onto it.

“I never expected her to stick around after… Though I was a little worried when she got so friendly with Cass. It would’ve been difficult for me if she was around more. Like…” She trailed off, playing with her ring as she continued.
“I was a little worried Leon and Cass might be the next couple she joined.”

Casey laughed aloud in genuine shock. That certainly wasn’t where he expected things to be going, but at the same time, he imagined she maybe had something there.

”I guess that would’ve been the next logical step… But, she’s pregnant! I doubt she’d feel like she could impose like that. Besides, she’s got another brother and stuff, right? Dude’s gonna need her help and shit probably.”

He stopped for a moment, a slight grimace forming.

”Are… Are we bad? For talking about this kind of stuff? There were times in the service we chopped up over other people’s problems without them being there, but in those days it was just because we were always packed together so tight. Now, I don’t know… Maybe I’ve just got a guilty conscience, but it feels… Eh. I don’t know. We don’t need justification for our private conversations. So, I guess I’m just uptight maybe. I started it anyway… So naturally.” he shivered.

In truth, it was a little bit of his Mom still in him. Lynette was so quick to be able to make judgements, even if that judgement was hypocritical of her to make. Anything for a little pain. She could pick out the worst in everyone and lay it out on the table like a Tarot. Scary stuff. Only scarier that the perception had nothing to do with seeing into the future: They were just that keyed in. In tune with the subtlest things.

Trisha’s hands gripped tighter together, her body tensing as she strained to not get more anxious, or snap. He had started it… But she’d gone along with it easily. She wasn’t exactly a snoop, but she couldn’t pretend she never gossiped. Hypocritical who hated having her shit out in the open so much… But she was sure people gossiped behind her back too. It made her anxious, but she couldn’t stop it.

Maybe he was right that they were bad people for talking about this kind of stuff. Did she agree? Or did she tell him it was fine, comfort his guilty conscience? She didn’t know which was the better choice.

“I don’t know… It’s normal, I think, but maybe it is bad? Maybe we shouldn’t. I don’t want you to feel guilty because we’re talking like this. I’m pretty sure everyone does it, but I never really thought about it.” Trisha bit her lip, answer coming out a bit of a mix.

“We can move onto something else! Like… Uh…” Forcing conversation was never easy, but she didn’t want to dwell on the whole them maybe being bad people thing.
“The- The party tomorrow! Since it's, y’know… Tomorrow. It’s at the Arcade, right? That’s where Cass wanted it, at least. At least we’ll be able to take a social break by pretending to concentrate on some games.”

Oh great. Exactly what he wanted. A social break with someone. Like she couldn’t find the irony in the statement, he simply let it roll off his back and down the gutter as the feeling of annoyance passed.

”Oh yeah, that’ll be great I’m sure. Uh, how many people are actually showing up for this? Not much of a party if its the four of us and Rey, right?” he asked casually, not wanting her to think he was totally against it. Maybe he shouldn’t have emphasized the particular spot in what he was saying… But he couldn’t take that back now.

Oh, right, obviously he wouldn’t want to take a social break like that… She wasn’t any kind of exception for him like that right now. That was just selfish thinking on her part. He was the one struggling more anyway, so maybe she could just cover for him so he could sneak away alone.

She didn’t say anything about that, deciding to just ignore it. Another added anxiety.
“Uh, Cass invited the girls and Gin, I think? I thought it was going to be some big thing for safety… I guess I missed that it changed back to something smaller?”

Casey’s eyes got wide.

”Oh, God…”

He hadn’t quite remembered that… The other night had been a similar function: Lots of people there, most who didn’t even really know what the party was for, just to make sure any last minute retaliation didn’t feel like such an easy affair. He’d been so wrapped up in himself that the whole plan had been filed away in the back of his mind. But, Leon had been told. Which meant that not only was there a high chance that the place would be crowded with the Temple’s Adjoined and friendly Adepts, but there was a chance that people from outside the immediate area would be coming.

Fellow fighters. Hell, maybe even celebrities. He wouldn’t put it past Leon to make a place like an arcade into a goth-chique dream for a night. He’d talked about wanting to theme it for her, but that was all pending as far as he knew… Only because he hadn’t bothered asking!

”I… Need you to text Leon. Tell him I need to know how many guests are attending the party, because I think I accidentally left him in charge.” he grimaced.

“Oh… Shit… Alright.” Trisha scrambled to pull her phone out, sending the text before talking again.

“There… That’s… Let’s hope he hasn’t done anything crazy?” Who was she kidding, he probably had. It was for Cass, which meant not only that Leon would have gone all out, but she liked crazy. Which meant it could be a nightmare for Trisha and Casey.

“At least he’s not stupid enough to make the whole thing an orgy?” She tried to joke.

”God, not at the arcade at least… I think if it was something super public like this, he’d want to keep it separated. But, if we’ve got the place for the night, there’s a chance he’d use it so they can both schmooze with people he knows. Meaning, we can probably expect-”

Trisha’s phone dinged. Casey’s voice hitched. The whole world could easily collapse as the phone screen lit a small scroll of words like a fire across a hay field.

”210. Need list, already in office.”

“Two… hundred and ten…” Trisha read out loud, shock and dismay clear in her voice. It was a massive number.
“He said the list’s in the office. Do you want me to ask anything else? Like… The actual plans?”

She tried to stick to practical questions rather than panicking. It was something she could manage. She just had to treat it like going to the club. Ignore most of the other people there and concentrate on those she knew. Maybe it would make it easier? So many people nobody would notice if they were gone.

No, Reyna probably would, when she was undoubtedly abandoned by Cass in her excitement to meet as many people as she could.

“It’s… It’s a lot of people, Casey.”

”Yeah, just go ahead and ask him why he hates us. From me, not you; that way you don’t feel like it’s gonna be an argument. He’ll get-Y’know what?”

Casey quickly began to shovel around in his back pocket for his phone before remembering it was in the cup holder next to him. He pulled it out and unlocked it, handing it off to Trisha.

”Call him. Please. I’d rather he hears it from my fucking mouth.” he growled slightly, not intending her as the target but not acknowledging the potential backsplash.

Trisha flinched, quickly scrolling to find Leon’s number. She didn’t think this was a good idea, but what did she do, say no? Then he’d be angry at her. It was difficult enough dealing with him talking like this to her. It only increased her anxiety.

“Alright, I’m calling him.” She said, so he knew she was doing what he asked, doing just that.
“I’m putting it on speaker too, but I’ll hold the phone. I don’t think you should be too aggressive, right, it’ll make tomorrow more difficult, won’t it?”

”I’m- I’m…”
She was actually very right. Because he was about to make an ass out of himself. But, he cleared his throat. The phone buzzed, then clicked.

”Casey?”

”Hey…-” he started, sounding rather deflated.
”-That’s a lot, man.” is all he managed to really say.

He had plenty of jokes, or reasons to scream marked in his head, but ultimately all he could muster was defeat. But, at least it seemed like the immediate reaction wasn’t retaliatory frustration or anything. Actually, it was rather encouraging.

”Well, we already thought about that! So, I went and made sure that the office upstairs would be available. It’s really nice, Ralph’s a nice guy, he said thank you for your service, totally understands that you’d need a place to cool off. He said that he’d even leave you guys a nice wedding present, something on him. We’ve got you, Bro.”

Casey’s eyes welled up and he gave Trisha a look that she would possibly misconstrue. It scrunched up, and on the sleepy Friday morning residential road, totally devoid of traffic, he slammed on the breaks and began to weep openly without making a single sound. It took him more than a moment to get enough of a breath to ask the question he needed to.

”I-is… Is that good for you, Babe?” he did his absolute best to sound composed.

”What the hell? Case, are you okay? Trisha? Is he okay!?”

Was he okay? Trisha wasn’t sure. He’d just started crying. It had been so fast and sudden. Was he upset or touched? She couldn’t immediately tell, and her anxious mind immediately went to the negative. Maybe he wasn’t happy with it? Because… he’d be spending the cool off time with her? But he didn’t need to- no, it was probably something deeper. Because of his service?

There was no point trying to figure it out right now, rather than dealing with the situation. If he was trying to pretend he was alright to Leon, then she’d play along with that.

Even though her heart was pounding in her chest from the sudden stop and her further heightened anxiety, Trisha managed to sound perfectly calm. Calmer than she had before calling Leon. The last thing she wanted was for him to guess something was up with her too.

“He’s okay, don’t worry. He’s really touched by you doing that for him, I think.” She went with the positive guess that her anxiety had discarded, reaching out for Casey’s hand with the one not holding the phone up. She glanced over at him and managed a gentle smile.

“Of course it’s good for me. Thank you for organising that, Leon… I really appreciate it. We both do, obviously.”

”Well… Obviously anything for you two. You’re our people, right?”
”Hell yeah, we love you both!”

Casey nodded.
”I’ll get to that list uh… Later. Thanks, you guys.”

Without giving them a chance to have more of a conversation, he reached for the phone and hung it up without thought. He’d managed to compose his thoughts around the feeling he was having at least. Enough to talk, at least. Enough to keep her in the loop.

”Trisha… If you’ve ever got questions about whether or not you’re good enough to be worthy of my love? Or if you’ve got some kind of question about whether or not you’re worth it? Remember this moment.”

The phone went back into the cup holder, and he quickly reached out to grab her hand.

”Because you just made me better. Because you said what was right, and you knew. And you said it, and I heard you, and I followed you, and you made me fucking better. Because you were absolutely right. I was about to shout at him. And then I thought about you, and about you being here… And knowing Cass was there too? I would’ve looked like an animal. And I never even would’ve bothered to wait for him to say that he did anything like that for us. It would’ve been spit in their faces.”

He looked at her again, and the tears started to well up until he couldn’t hold them in again.

”Why do I want to hurt people I love!?” he started to sob, leaning over the center console to cling to Trisha.

Trisha turned in her seat, wrapping her arms around him to hold him tightly. She didn’t know what to say, because she didn’t have the answer. When she wanted to hurt people, it was always out of resentment. This was completely different. She couldn’t even try to understand the why, she could just hold him and try to offer some comfort.

“I don’t know, Casey… But you didn’t in the end. You could’ve ignored me but you didn’t. So I don’t think you… want to hurt people. Not in some psychopathic way. It’s reacting to things in an extreme way when under duress! You’re not a bad person, even if you feel like you want to do that.” She rambled quietly, rubbing his back gently.

She’d only told him not to be aggressive because the thought of a fight like that made her want to panic. It wasn’t because she was some amazing person.
“You’ll get through this… We will. I’ll say something like that as many times as you need me to, to help you.”

Casey nodded emphatically, head pressed against her. She was right, and right again. He didn’t understand why she didn’t see herself as smarter… If it was really all from things that had happened to her before, then why was it she hadn’t been able to replace those memories? She had plenty of good times… He just rolled from one bad faith to the next. A refused stone, whose only purpose was to be skipped.

”I love you… I really really love you…” was all he could muster. He just sat there for a long few moments wrapped in Trisha’s arms. Not being thrown.

Eventually, he was ready to sit back up, drying his eyes off on his own sweater sleeves.

”I’m a mess. My head’s a mess. I hope Papa has some sick wisdom, otherwise two hundred people are going to equal one heart attack. Were you… Really okay with their solution? I’m certain there’s alternatives.” he offered, not starting the car back into a roll yet.

Had she not sounded alright with it? Or was it because he wasn’t? For her, a room they could hide in to be alone together was enough. It wasn’t perfect in the way that staying at home would be, but it was enough. Like a safety net if she needed it while pushing herself through something she really should be able to handle.

When she was a teenager, and even in university, she’d always seen herself as a social butterfly. It was kind of funny… She’d just been lonely. Now that she had someone, she didn’t find herself having any desire to go to larger events she used to choose to attend.

“I’m really okay with it. It’s more than I expected… But are you? If Max doesn’t have any helpful suggestions, you really don’t have to push yourself and go. I’m sure we can come up with an excuse Cass and Leon will believe. I’d rather that than you have a heart attack.”

”Oh, I’m not having a fuckin’ heart attack, Trisha… It’s just a lot of people who probably know me. They’ll want to talk, and I won’t know what to say. What’m I supposed to say? Hey, thanks for the whole Allied Propaganda Tour fight series? Glad a bunch of officers got to see?” Casey shook his head, knowing that most of those fighters either escaped the war entirely, or got incredibly light tours in exchange for working the prop tour.

It was really the idea of having to be a person that he knew he wasn’t. Playing his brother’s game in this state of mind made him sick to his stomach, dying from seeing all the fake patriots and half-assers spread among his people. They weren’t all Temple members, but they were absolutely all grifters. Relics of the legacy that was Gravity. If only they all knew…

”That’s what nobody ever gets. It’s having to play fuckin’ nice. I know you get it, because you’ve had to do it too. But, *so many people are assholes.* And I can only give a fuck when I’m feeling alright. If I’m not, they all seem so fucking small!” he ranted, taking the turn toward the docks.

Trisha nodded. She did understand, and she always hit a certain point when she couldn't play nice with assholes either. Though she always tried no matter what, or how difficult it was, because the fear of being hated by people outweighed any other struggle. It wasn't exactly healthy to feel like she had to fake it until she cracked, but the alternative was being herself with people she barely knew.

“It’s shit." She answered honestly.
“It’s not like they even appreciate it. It's just expected that you're nice to them no matter how they are… And it sucks you're expected to talk to people just because they want to talk to you. Which is really hard when you barely know them, because it's always surface level and awful. You shouldn't have to give a fuck about them."

She did believe that, even if she rarely pushed people away. Only siblings like Tansy- people she'd been harsh to at a young age before she developed a fake shell, or that had pushed her enough she no longer cared.

“Maybe you can use me as an excuse for that kind of thing. ‘Oh no, my fiance wants to play a game with me, and she's the most important person in my life.’ Or I'll act like the overly controlling wife and drag you away." She managed a tiny giggle at that image. Like she found it easy to throw away the niceties.

“Or we make sure Cass is there as a buffer. She always knows what to say."

”Don’t be silly… I’d never force you in front of me so I can dodge some bullet, physical, social or otherwise. Though, I know you know it’s a nice thought. Considerate of you… Another reason to love you.” he admitted finally, making sure she knew that he thought it was a good thing to do ultimately.

He loved her, and would no matter what. Right now, however, it was equally as important for her to do the things he wanted her to in a subtle sense. Not like he was some taskmaster forcing her to tow the line, but it helped tremendously when she didn’t say things that annoyed him. The cloudy buffer between his emotions and other people’s actions was dissipated at best right now, so all he could do was try to avoid the worst parts of himself.

”And, I mean… Don’t get me wrong… I do know them. Remember, there was a time where I got to meet the people who would come here. Leon’s generation was already on the move: They all competed in world youth tournaments. Only difference was, I also competed in my age division. And won. Bunch of fucking jerks…” he trailed off as if there was more to that moment for Trisha to explore.

Trisha tilted her head, turning to look at Casey curiously. With him moving on, sort of, she couldn’t really push that she wouldn’t be forcing herself in front of him. It was a choice she was willing to make… But if it wasn’t what he wanted, she wouldn’t do it unless he really seemed to be struggling tomorrow. At least he wasn’t rejecting it because he was unhappy she’d even suggested it.

“Jerks... Did they do something because you won? I assume they were at least bad losers? Pettily talking shit to you? I know the kind…” She could be a pretty bad loser herself, but she didn’t say that.
“Or… It wasn’t something more extreme, was it? They didn’t all wait for you outside and beat you up?”

In her curiosity, she jumped from a realistic scenario to something that mostly happened in movies.

”Not at once…” he sounded rather distant still, almost clamming up but doing his absolute best to remember what they’d talked about.

”I wasn’t the only one. So, y’know, I can’t be too mad. It wasn’t personal. Or, it shouldn’t have been.”
He was trying to find a way to describe it that wouldn’t sound utterly insane to her. There wasn’t one.

”Whatever competition you win, you get the prize, you get everyone praising you, all the excitement, whatever. Then, first session back at the gym, you take your test. You fight everyone in your age bracket, to see if anyone can beat you. If they do, they take the bragging rights for the competition you won. Because obviously if they beat you now, y’know, they’d have won if they were there. Even if they weren’t.”

Casey’s stories always followed something of a pattern. It seemed that every time he had to explain something from the past, it always pushed as comically close to “worse than you thought” as it could. And then he always had a cherry to top it.

”Get through that, you fight older kids. You keep your social status though, nobody really dogged on you if you lost to someone older except the older person who finally beats you.” he finished, looking rather sour.

”I want you to remember how freely I give this kind of shit up next time you wanna freak out over something shitty happening in your past. I can definitely handle that trauma.”

Trisha tensed, hands gripped tight together. She’d only asked because he’d implied there was something more… She hadn’t realised it was something traumatic until he almost didn’t say anything. And now he was immediately throwing it in her face.

Because he’d been able to tell her out without going through all the panic attacks and shutting down first. Obviously he’d be able to handle her trauma, because he had gone through worse than her. Over and over again… But she wasn’t worried about the actual trauma she had being a problem for him. It was all the past shit that pointed to her being the problem, and all the ugly little things about her it pointed out.

She took a deep breath, shoving down the mixture of annoyance and panic. She was doing her best not to rise to the bait and react to the jab. She needed to not escalate, to prove that she could really handle him being open and honest.

If she gave the wrong response, he’d snap back at her. It’d be worse. Just the thought completely ruined the deep breaths she’d tried to take, becoming shallower and more anxious.

“I’ll remember. You know I’m trying to be more open about my issues, Casey.” She managed to reply, defaulting to a strange politeness. Like she was trying to placate him. It would last if he went along with it, but eventually the feelings beneath the surface would boil over.

“I’m sorry you went through that… That’s really awful. You should’ve been able to enjoy your victory instead of getting beaten up more for it. I didn’t mean to press about something difficult like that.”

”It’s… Fine. I’m sorry I said that. If I had a different tone, maybe you’d feel like I wasn’t questioning your trying status. I’m… Not. Just, y’know, White Lux is nostalgia. It’s how I remember things, like holding onto a moment so I don’t lose the context. I’m sorry.” he replied, totally blowing off her apology about pressing him.

”It was shitty, but, like I said I wasn’t the only one who had to go through it. That doesn’t make it better, just easier for me to stomach. There was one kid, Bryce… Adept’s son, his Dad spent a lot of time with Furio. I’m pretty sure he was trying to kill me: He kept drilling me in the kidney over and over, I had a feeling I was gonna piss kool-aid. Thankfully Dad’s doctor made sure I was good.” he tried to drive his point home about why memory was important for him.

”I feel that moment in every fist fight I have now. It was the first time I knew that something was really wrong with my body, where it was telling me that I should run instead of trying to fight back. I stayed, cleaned his fucking clock. That asshole…” he continued, hoping that if he didn’t dwell on the problem previous, that she’d accept his apology and also simply move on from it. Because he couldn’t kowtow in that moment. It just wasn’t on the table.

Trisha let out a shaky breath, frowning a little. He hadn’t entirely accepted her placating, but he hadn’t pushed back. Just apologised for what he said… That was fine. It was enough to keep the negativity it’d brought up below the surface, to crawl out later.

“Is there a chance he’ll be there tomorrow?” She asked simply, frown deepening. She hoped Leon would at least not invite some asshole who tried to kill his brother in a stupid fight, but she wouldn’t put it past him. If he was there… She was sure there was some way to make sure he ‘accidentally’ got stung by a couple of bees…

“I know it’s in the past, but I can’t believe some kid would go that far. Did you dad just let it happen? Surely there’s rules in boxing about not doing shit like that?” Not that she knew anything about boxing, beyond Cass’ ranting and raving. Most of the time that devolved into her crazy fan life anyway.
“I guess that’s not helpful now. You’ve really been pushing through dangerous things for a long time, haven’t you?”

”Doctor Parko was on duty every single day with my Dad. He didn’t leave without ol’ Parko. Take a punch or two. Take a bullet. It was healed before you complained. He was Green and White, and never missed an ailment. He used to pinpoint my Dad’s micronutrient levels in his body instantly, and tell him what to eat for dinner that night to course correct. He’d conjure fucking fruits like pills. He was nuts… So, Dad never worried about us getting hurt. Parko would fix it.”

There were a lot of dead names… People who, Casey now knew, were people that Lynette couldn’t bully around herself. Andrade had been easy, and Furio did what Clarissa said, which meant whatever Lynette said. Out of all the options, the “Gang of Cosmic Disasters”, anyone who called his Dad a brother… They were all gone. And they were the only people he’d want to talk to. People from back then, who seemed so big when he was so small.

”Dad said we were supposed to learn to destroy. To break things down with our own physicality. We couldn’t do that if we were focused on all the little rules… Because you can’t teach killer instinct.” he explained further.

”But, Bryce being there? No. Bryce… Isn’t with us.” he finished in an ominous tone.

“Oh…” Trisha’s eyes widened, speechless for a moment. All the frustration she felt about how crazy it was that Casey had been taught like that, and that kids were allowed to do that shit just cause there was a magic healer, died down. He wasn’t with them… So he was probably dead.

Casey’s Dad was too. She could guess this Doctor Parko too, from the constant past tense usage. If she started ranting at him about how fucked up that all was, he’d just get upset at her. She didn’t want that. Especially not when it was her being upset over things that happened in his past. It wasn’t like she could change it.

“I’m… Sorry?” She didn’t really know what to say now.
“At least you… won’t have to deal with him tomorrow… God, that’s so fucked up to say, isn’t it? I, uh…”

She fiddled with her ring, frowning.
“I guess I just don’t like thinking about the younger you who got hurt so much because there was a magical healer to fix it all. You still get hurt… I wish I could go back and protect you from all of it. But I can’t… So I guess… I’m glad you told me about it, at least.”

She probably hadn’t been expecting him to laugh, but the uncomfortable reaction was funniest. It was incredibly domestic of her. It was the same response everyone gave him when it came to shit like that, until she said the actual real thing. The one that he would’ve heard another soldier say.

”Only fucked up part is why. I’m happy, honestly. One less mocking face. One less degenerate in the world.” he said very simply, not worried about whether or not she felt the same ultimately.

”I’m… Glad I told you too. You’re not, uh… You’re not bad for thinking that. Just like I don’t really think I’m that bad for saying what I said earlier. I’d save them if need be, but most of the people there… They’re phantoms. Ghosts from the past I just don’t want dredged up. If I gave a shit how they felt about me, I’d be much worse than I am now.” he admitted, not exactly explaining.

He hoped she’d understand given her own track record, but he could never be sure. So, he waited for her reply before speaking again, hoping that she’d ease into the confirmation. He wanted to demask… If that’s what he wanted, then he needed to act natural in front of her. She had to get used to him just talking/ Hopefully, she would.

“Must be nice.” Trisha mumbled, looking down at her hands.
“Not giving a shit about how they feel, that is. Not the whole ghosts from the past thing…”

The unspoken implication was that she couldn’t… Because she really couldn’t. It was like those two girls from high school she bumped into. She’d given too much of a shit about what they thought, when they were nothing in her life anymore. Whenever she met her own ghosts, she always got dragged back to the past with them or got scared it would somehow impact her current relationships if she didn’t act nice.

“I understand, I think. Not so bad that you want to kill them, but you don’t want to see them again.” She continued, glancing up towards him.
“There’s people in my life like that too. I’d probably feel similar at a high school reunion… Seeing them again only makes my life worse. Not that anyone tried to kill me… But I wouldn’t be upset if any of them ended up dead.”

”But you wouldn’t want them dead. You wouldn’t think about it?” he asked her with a rather calm inflection for a question with such implicit menace behind it.

He’d been another dogged assassin of the Temple for far longer than he’d been the Blade. People had died by his hand before. And back then, he felt far differently about it. Had plenty of justifications. Lynette could find reason by the basketful to push this evil little part of Casey into doing horrifying things. The truth was, being a soldier relieved that part. They said every village needed a psychopath, after all. Someone who wasn’t afraid of getting their hands dirty in order to cull the herd of the bad beasts.

”You know I’d make it happen, if it made you feel better… I hope one day, just knowing that brings you some kind of security. As sick as it may be… I’ll happily take the breath of others if it gives it back to you.” he asserted.
In the short distance, the image of the docks was in clear view. Furthest out, a large metal boat with what looked like enough cargo space for a few cars to be kept on it, bobbed wearily in the rough North-Pacific waters.

Trisha barely saw the upcoming docks, too busy staring at Casey. She should probably be disturbed by that kind of statement… But she wasn’t. She didn’t have the means, but she’d do the same for him. If anyone tried to hurt him, she’d gladly hurt them back tenfold.

She cared about other people’s opinions, but ultimately didn’t care about them. Not to the point where she wanted other people dead, but she wouldn’t really care if it happened. She was tunnel visioned on him, and their budding coven and family.

“I know… But if you did that for me, I wouldn’t be able to take it back myself.” She responded, lips pulling up into a slight smile.
“Not that I’d kill them. But I want to be able to ignore them all one day, and not let it get to me. It’s harder to do that if everyone who ever wronged me is dead.”

She glanced away out the front window, towards the docks. She wasn’t particularly happy they were almost there. While being with just Casey wasn’t as comfortable as it had been, it was still preferable to being around anyone else. It just made seeing others more difficult, really.

“You’re right that I wouldn’t want them dead like that. Maybe I thought it when I was at my most hurt, but not because I actually wanted it to happen. But… I like that you’d do it for me, even if I wouldn’t ask. I guess that makes me a little sick too.”

”That’s obviously the part of you that loves me.” he spoke simply, not exactly expanding on what that meant for her as he pulled them into the loading ramp for the dock, then onward to the ferry itself. It was just enough time for Trisha to press it if she wanted to.

“What do you mean?” Trisha furrowed her brow, twisting towards him in her seat. That the sick part of her loved him? Because… Of what he was like? Or because of how she acted? She… Knew what he meant, really, but she still asked the question even as she pressed further.

”Do you think that only the sick part of me loves you? That’s stupid. All of me does.”

Casey looked at her with a frown.

”Your boyfriend offered to kill your high school bullies a decade after they mattered. And you know I would. But you don’t shy away? You don’t bat an eye? I just have a hard time imagining a world where there isn’t a little piece of you, or maybe a big piece, that isn’t repulsed by me… Probably because there’s a big piece of me that’s repulsed by me.” he said rather flatly. Yet, he still reached out for her hand as the truck came to a stop in the ferry’s iron belly.

”If it’s all of you, then I can accept that. I know it’s real.” he concluded calmly, looking at her one last time for confirmation, and praying nothing changed in her eyes.

Trisha stared back at him, face scrunched up a little. It wasn’t a soft expression, because she couldn’t drag up that super warm, sappy love when she’d felt like everything was gearing up towards a fight. She looked indignant, almost a little fierce, like she was preparing to push up against him. But there was no disgust, and the love she felt for him was still there. Just it wasn’t so gentle… It was burning.

“It is all of me. And you don’t have to imagine a world like that, because it’s this one. I don’t care about them and I love you. I’d only be upset that it might be something you struggled to live with.”

Maybe more than a little bit of her was sick… She wasn’t sure. While she’d been hurt by so many people in her life, she had spent a lot of the time just drifting. But if she’d been really pushed- or if she’d ended up in much worse situations- maybe she’d have that capacity too. She probably did… She’d already been thinking about hurting the people that hurt him.

And she did have to kill people when fighting the Stygian Snake. People mind controlled by it, but underneath that they were innocent. Maybe it was different, because it was to survive… But she’d do something like that for someone she loved this much.

“I’m not repulsed by you and there’s very little you could do to change that.”

”Good.” was the only reply. It was probably a lot colder than he’d intended, but at the same time, he didn’t feel like there was a great deal to say. He didn’t want her getting any more keyed up over it than she already was, and figured a short and sweet answer that expressed his pleasure with the situation would be more than enough.

Not that anyone came out to greet them on the ferry. Its gate closed automatically, and without really warning them, it began to putter across the waves. Casey pulled the emergency brake to make sure they didn’t do any rolling from the waves. Not that they would… The boat, you see, was just another Tuesday morning masterpiece for the Richoux.

”But we’re still sending 8th Street to prison, right?” he joked, trying to win her back over.

“Why wouldn’t we?” Trisha asked, looking a little confused.
“As opposed to killing them? Obviously. They deserve to suffer living in some shitty prison somewhere.”

Though most people would probably prefer that to dying…

She did tense up, though it wasn’t because of his short reply. Sure, her anxiety had her misreading into a single word answer like crazy, but she was doing her best to not let it get to her. It was a confirmation. She was trying to think of it like that.

It was the ferry starting to move, and her anxiety spiking with it. She was fine with boats, but the choppier the sea was, the more nervous she got… And the more likely she was to get sick. Thankfully it had been clear, if cold, when they went to Misty Island- and she hadn’t been as anxious in the first place. But today was pretty miserable with the rain and the wind. She’d seen how choppy the water was. Fuck, Casey would get upset if she threw up in the car, wouldn’t he?

“How long is the journey, again? Not that long, right?”

”Which part? The boat? Or putting up with my grandmother?” he asked sincerely before deciding to just answer.

”Boat’s probably thirty minutes. We’re headed down the coast and out a bit. Barely in St. Portwell still. But, we could be over there for a few hours at best. If it’s real bad, it’s an all-day thing. Which is why I wanted to bring you… For company.” he asserted, making sure she knew he wanted her there, and wasn’t just bringing her because she’d make a big deal if he didn’t… Even if she would.

Trisha went a little pale at his answer. Both parts contributed to it, really. A whole day with his grandparents would be difficult to deal with when she didn’t really want to see anyone else. The thought of thirty minutes of being swung back and forth, anxiety and nausea increasing until it all spilled out, was more pressing in that moment. He’d probably regret bringing her when she ruined the car. It wasn’t so bad yet, but they were probably still in the shelter of the dock. Maybe it would be alright along the coast, but the further out they got the worse it would get.

At least he had wanted to bring her. Supposedly. It wasn’t an obligation, because he thought she’d get upset at being left behind.

“I’m glad you wanted to bring me, but uh…” She bit her lip. This was stupid, now he was going to get upset that she couldn’t just say it. Because she was embarrassed and it was gross!
“Is there a bathroom on the boat? I might need to… give it more of my company… When we really hit the rough water…”

Casey had been on enough boats to see how seamen’s eyes got when they were ditching port. The ones who needed their daily doses of dramamine, who couldn’t get it right away… He did his best not to smile, remembering all the verbal lashings he’d gotten for taking their problems like jokes meant he wasn’t exactly inclined to sit and listen to more. At least he had good news to give her.

”Oh… Oh, right. When we went out last, it was a decent day. You weren’t worried, I guess. Uh, don’t worry here either. Sylvie also gets sea sick, so there’s no way they’d employ this boat without making sure that wasn’t a problem for our dear, sweet Nana. Just ignore all the water that gets in, it gets flushed right back out.”

This didn’t directly explain that the boat’s profile was magically affected to remain totally deadlocked to a pre-lain track spanning the bottom of the bay and out toward Roquefort Island where the Chateau was. Nor did it explain that, thanks to this positional locking, it was completely immune to listing and tilting… Because it wasn’t actually floating.
This had the side effect of causing great spouts of water to impact the side of the boat and wash up over the side, having nothing else to do as waves besides break against the equivalent of a port shipping pier in the middle of the water.

Big waves usually completely flooded the open belly, so on rainy days, the boat made sure to close its canopy in order to prevent most of the bilge from filling. There wasn’t even a Captain, the ship’s mechanisms entirely based around Big Max’s insane magical inventions.

”If you’ve gotta hurl anyway, just open the door and hurl on the deck. It’ll get washed away with everything else.” he concluded.

Trisha grimaced at that image. She didn’t really want to lean out of the car and just throw up. If she had to, she had to, but it wasn’t particularly pleasant. Thankfully, if the boat wasn’t going to rock like crazy, her nausea shouldn’t be too bad. It was just the anxiety.

“I should be fine.” She managed to relax a little bit, tension slowly easing. The idea of water getting in made her a little nervous, but she’d have to trust him when he said to ignore it. He wouldn’t bring her on some crazy boat death trap… That much she was confident in.

“At least I don’t have to worry about a freak wave capsizing it, and me drowning in freezing cold, choppy waters because I still can’t swim.” She joked, even though it was a genuine fear of hers whenever on a boat in rough seas.

”Anything short of a bomb, we’ll be fine. There’s a big copper cable about sixty, seventy feet below us, and it’s magically holding the boat totally still. Like a weird magrail.” he explained a little further, not wanting to insult her intelligence by overexplaining, but desperately wanting to talk about cool magical technology.

”If you’d feel better, we can cuddle.” he offered, cranking his seat back so there was room for her to crawl over the console and into his lap.
”I’ll even disable the horn, so you can sit your bum on the front of the wheel without honking us to deaf.” he hoped she’d get the joke.

Honking them to… Deaf? Not death- Oh. She started giggling.

“But I’ve always wanted to deafen someone with my ass.” She playfully pouted. The joke helped her get over her hesitation about whether to cuddle him or not… He offered, but did he really want to? But he was doing things to make it more comfortable, and joking about it. It was fine.

She leaned over to pull off her shoes before carefully climbing across the console to curl up in his lap. She immediately cuddled into him, head resting on his chest as her tension eased. She really did feel better here… Much less anxious about external forces sending them to the bottom of the ocean.

“Thanks… I feel safer.” She said softly, enjoying his warmth for a moment.

But her mind was still too active for her to just cuddle and relax… So she easily latched onto something that would actually lead to conversation. It just happened to be exactly what Casey wanted to talk about.

“If the boat’s sort of like a magrail, does that mean we’re actually… levitating? It just looks like we’re floating on the water?” She asked curiously.
“Wouldn’t it have been easier to make a… Magically stable boat, instead of installing a copper cable under the water?”

”Well, technically the cable was already there. It’s the main junction cable out to the southern islands. Pretty sturdy stuff, even if most of it is obsolete now that they… own Roquefort, and all…”

It was hard to remember that, in spite of all Maxwell’s money he made from his career, and how much money the Temple itself was capable of making, somehow Casey’s grandparents managed to meet a level that probably looked familiar to Trisha. There was new money, and then there was old money. Old money came with all the old connections. All the right people cared about that kind of money. James Vanburen had the wealth, but for all that was in their fortune, it was a known fact that he was anomalous. At least, known to people like the Temple, who had a very clear track record of the day that Vanburen Holdings was established.

So, she’d missed all the stuff about connections. People to talk to who could make things happen, like the senator of Oregon who “donated” Roquefort Island to the Church of the New Dawn as part of a lobbying promise made not to them, but to the Temple, whose operations span the state and beyond. A great deal of constituents were Temple adjacent, and when the stewardship of Roquefort came into question, so many phone calls were made between so many different individuals, that it certainly looked like some strange French annexation happening in sleepy St. Portwell. Finding the authorization, or anything before the ceremony that handed over control to the Church, was basically impossible.

Thus, they had an easily sustained magical powersource out there, and had long ago turned their connection to the mainland into nothing more than a convenient pathway for the boat to follow.

”But, yeah. It’s just floating. We could float it a few dozen feet above the water, but then you’ve gotta deal with cloaking it, and dealing with a port that isn’t full of people sometimes. It’s a much easier illusion to present; that it jiggles around slightly. It only does that near shore. Programmed in, essentially.”

It's true, he did want to talk about the magic machines… She could already see a much more dealable grin on his face.

They owned the whole island? She didn’t even know how much an island would cost. Could you just buy an island? She’d never imagined you could off a city like this.

“People are going to start thinking I’m the gold digger.” She joked lightly.
“We don’t own a whole island… I don’t think. If we did, Dad probably would’ve dumped us on it every holiday.”

She wouldn’t put it past Tansy to try to buy an island just to host things, but she probably didn’t have that much money by herself. Ezra was far too sensible to spend so much money on something like that… Unless it was to make it a crazy expensive resort.

Smiling slightly, she switched back to think about the crazy magical boat, latching onto Casey’s enthusiasm.
“Does it always jiggle the same amount, or does it vary depending on what the waves are like? I guess people probably don’t look that closely… I can’t say I’ve ever scrutinised how much a boat sways as it comes into the port, unless I’m worried about what it's going to be like when I get onto it.”

He found himself especially pleased that she was asking questions he had answers to. Questions about the mechanics were easiest to get through, because he knew every single little spell his Grandfather had used to make this boat do what it did to begin with. All the bells and whistles splayed out in front of him, and he could see it all so clearly.

”It knows how choppy things are. Actually, if it’s docked up, it totally disconnects from the line, so that it floats like a normal boat besides the basic anchor point that it uses to stay relatively close to shore. Then once it reconnects, it takes the level of sway, and slowly reduces it until we get out past the initial wharfs. Then, there’s enough treeline that nobody can see us pass the horizon line.”

Grinning, Casey shuffled one hand slightly and went for his phone to pull it out. She could watch him try to start the camera, only for the picture it produced on the screen to be completely blurry. But, as soon as he left the camera, the phone was fine again.

”It also breaks all observational optics. Phones can’t take pictures of it while it's attached to the line, because it outputs a Luxal signal that detects aperture lenses specifically. Scopes, telescopes, binoculars, fuckin’... Big television cameras. Whatever’s got a big ol’ curved lens to take pictures with or see shit far away, it totally fucks with.” he slid the phone back down.

“Wow." Trisha's gaze moved from his phone back up to him, looking genuinely impressed.

She was. It seemed like an insane amount of magic… To her, the amount Casey had and used was already impressive. There weren't many Adepts that strong in Sycamore and all the Adjoined that were struggled to control their magic. So such incredible use of it was still a lot for her to take in. She knew that Sylvie and Max were grandmasters, and when they visited she realised how magic use was just normal for them… But this was a lot. Especially that it broke observational optics.

“That’s amazing. Do they do that elsewhere? Breaking all observational optics? It seems really useful… Well, I guess it's only useful if you're famous and might have stalkers or paparazzi trying to take pictures of you." She giggled a bit. It probably didn't block any magical spying, sadly.

“Are you going to be able to do something like this one day? Is our land going to be filled with crazy magical vehicles to take us all over it?"

”Not quite. I imagined a honeycomb property, like the Temple. But, y’know, built by someone who gives a fuck. Why bother having one big house, when we can have eight or ten little houses, and choose where we wanna be? It just takes creative solutions for other stuff. Maybe even in ways you never considered. Probably because they’ll be problems you never would’ve had without me.”

He wasn’t thinking problems that had to do with fighting. More like “How do we move our food from one home to another without making it a big deal every time?” His own pet solution was distributor pipelines. Press a button, it miniaturizes and locks all the fridge shelves, then slides them out backward into a small pipe that directly transports the locked foodstuffs into the selected fridge.

”Like, y’know, you’re working on something and suddenly I wanna be in a new place? We make a flip-desk. We find a Purple Lux Adept, and we form a pocket inside the desk that you can flip the surface into, and it just pushes it out onto a different desk with the same properties nearby.”

The truth was, he could already do most of this stuff. Unlike her, he didn’t just have a spirit uninclined to inform him of things. He had books. Plenty of books to read about spells, and plenty of time and desire to cram whatever he could into his head.

”But, maybe it would be fun to have, like, a train on the property. For the kids, y’know?”

Trisha smiled at that.
“Only if it looks and acts like one of those old steam trains… They're much more fun, the kind that kids would really love to ride on."

It was nice to think and talk about the future, especially when things felt difficult right now. It helped her remain a bit more stable… Every time they talked about it, she began to believe it would happen more. And she really did believe it was what he wanted as well right now.

Though she didn't really understand the loads of small houses versus one big one. What was the benefit of having so many? There must be something, outside of creative magical solutions to problems Trisha never would've even imagined. But she just couldn't see it… it seemed a bit strange to her. Wouldn't it make all of the houses feel less like home, because they didn't spend as much time in them?

“Why would you prefer more small houses? For… the change of scenery?" She tried to guess a reason, hoping her genuine interest would come across rather than it seeming like she was questioning that desire of his. Or against it… Really, she just wanted to understand. If it would make him happier, she would go along with it. He was her home rather than any actual house, after all.

This question was a lot more difficult to answer, but he still knew it… And in the interest of honesty-

”I never felt like I had anywhere to run as a kid. Nowhere that felt immediately safe and comforting. Say one day we fight… Rather than let uh, Junior or whoever, have to listen to it all the time, why not have another place to go immediately? To retreat, to regroup,and recoup, and think for ten minutes about something that isn’t sad or scary. I had this little picture book when I was little. It was a Professor Sways book. I always liked how he drew everything so colorful, and kind of without detail. The houses and everything always looked so creative. And I wanted to escape into that book. Ever since, I’ve… Had an idea of what I wanted. Part crazy house, part art project… All home.” he finished, looking incredibly thoughtful if not a little sad in his expression.

Trisha hugged him a bit tighter. She hoped by the time they had children they'd gotten through most of the issues they might fight about… Or at least have figured out how to do it without fighting. But maybe that wouldn't happen. She wasn't sure how long it would take her to really get through her own issues, and there'd only be so long she'd be able to wait before she wanted to have a kid with him.

She definitely didn't want any children of theirs growing up scared, or not feeling comfortable in their home. She didn't want Casey dealing with that either… Even if it meant they needed to swap between houses, or go to separate places for a short while. Any thought of possible separation tugged at her anxieties, but he didn't want it so they'd have different places to live. Just so that they could both feel safe… Right?

Even if it would make it easier to be separate.

“I’ve never read the book before, you'll have to show me sometime." She said softly. She didn't really remember any picture books she'd had. Probably bulk bought books for all the children in the house of that age… If she thought hard enough, she could vaguely remember shiny covers and a cold feeling. The only person that ever tried to read them to her was one of the Nannies, and Tansy a couple of times. She'd quickly grown out of reading them herself, forcing herself onto books with more words in the hope of getting some kind of attention.

“Home’s never really been a place for me. The closest anything came to it before I met you was the apartment I had with Cass and Diyah… What I mean is, I'm happy for our house to be houses, and to be whatever you want. Anywhere we stay together becomes like a home to me… And I don't want our kids to grow up like either of us. Hopefully they won't have to run, but I want them to have places they can feel safe in. Multiple places, not just one room they lock themselves in, so… The crazy, artistic houses sounds good."

”I hope it’s not a crazy concession… But, when we get there, I’m sure we’ll have another talk about it. One with a lot more concrete expectations.”
He leaned downward, kissing her on the top of her head as his hands slid up to rub her arm.
”But… Other things will happen. Funny Orange Lux contraptions and stuff, yeah. So, maybe get ready for that kind of thing while we’re here? Just for you to see some potential options?” he giggled.

Trisha smiled up at him, shaking her head against him slightly.
“Alright, I'll try my best."

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Thursday 14th December

Casey loved every bit of Trisha indeed. But fatigue happened to everyone, and no one man was immune to it. In truth, he didn’t want to feel like it was affecting him. But as the days dragged on more and more, he missed solitude. Missed being alone. She was wonderful to have there, of course, for all the affection and the willingness to sit and listen to him and his problems without even the slightest hesitation. She was utterly selfless in that regard, and he appreciated every moment that she gave him.

Things came to him regardless. People needing him for something or another, which pulled them away from each other in brief moments. But that wasn’t solitude. That wasn’t time to himself, to do things like fiddle and fuss with something, or give quiet contemplation to the ghosts in his heart. Before, he could take off. Three, four, ten days in the woods up North. A picnic table, a secluded camp ground… Plenty of liquid bread. Anywhere he was could be a workshop, depending on the equipment he brought. And he would simply exist, without any pressure or necessary presence given to the periphery.

Nowadays, it felt like there was more of an obligation than ever to be present at home. To be there to give himself up to whoever needed him. Especially Trisha… Even if she said she was trying to get better, he knew it would take time. Probably better than she did, even. Except, to keep going over it… That was the problem that was slowly seeping into his mind. That she wouldn’t, or couldn’t, accept the permanence of his affection or the status of their situation. He was well aware that things changed on a constant basis, and that nothing was truly permanent, but it really hadn’t been that long.
Having spent no time dating, he didn’t understand how someone else could give her such a short time. As if they didn’t want to know her, or just didn’t care… He didn’t understand even a little bit. In his mind, a relationship was a relationship; and he had no intention of being the one to walk away.

Good for Trisha, of course, because she hated to see people walk away. But, Casey in turn hated that it felt like the option wasn’t even there. Not to take a break, not to spend some time away from one another… But it was so important, because he knew intrinsically in his heart that he’d long for her in a far deeper fashion with that separation between them.

But why was all this swimming around in his head? Trisha’s gentle breathing, the tell that she was actually asleep. Yet, with her practically on top of him, and the way their couch was situated in the room, he couldn’t get away. He wanted it desperately, to not waste the time he could be spending actually in solitude working on something, and to just get back out, even into the outer part of the house… The laptop with the program for the beequipment was out there. He could go, he could do something. Instead, another episode of Detective Rombo filled his cold, dead eyes as he found himself stuck more and more in an anxious spiral.

So the only thing left was magic. He’d already done some enchanting on the comfy couch, but this one would be difficult to pull off without ruining it entirely. Still, worth a shot. Orange and White Lux both rippled through the fabric, eventually hitting the metal structure and not doing much of anything until Casey gave the signal. Then, Casey held his breath, and slowly but surely began to sink into the couch like quicksand. On top of him, Trisha’s body slowly and gently lowered as he fell further and further in, until his entire body was subsumed by the cloth cushions.
They only bounced and jiggled slightly as he passed them entirely, his weight no longer affecting them.

This was a strange spell that he’d learned to use on tanks and other machines where one had to fix things in nigh inaccessible places. Orange Lux enchanted the behavior of the material, affecting it to become semi-permiable to magical entities. The more weight placed on the material, the easier it was to slip through. At the same time, his White Lux was able to guard the magical properties of the spell, linking them to his body directly so that the spell would only work for him. Therefore, he sunk slowly, and Trisha remained laying in exactly the same spot she’d been in, hopefully none-the-wiser as Casey belly crawled out of the bottom of the couch and across the floor of the apartment toward the door.

Once he was in the hall, he was more happy and willing to stand and walk, his feet bringing him not but ten feet to the sleeping bee-colored laptop. Having escaped the anxiety spiral only slightly, now he was thinking about how upset Trisha may get if she woke up now and found him out here. It hadn’t been a terribly long time that she was snoozing, and he imagined her quiet fury at being abandoned. It was hard to not imagine that she was in some constant state of mental anguish, always pushing others’ questions away for fear of looking bad. Sure, he wanted her to be honest… But what if her full honesty revealed things he didn’t want to hear? Like she’d never get over her problems, or she’d always be as insecure as she was now.

What would he do? What could he do? He loved her! There was no getting around that part, even Casey was sure of that. He wanted her to be in his life… But he wanted her to finally accept and understand that it was what he wanted, and so he wouldn’t betray her by walking away. He wanted her to be just as confident in his love as he was, so he could openly ask for time to himself without feeling like a torturer or a monster.

Opening the laptop and waking it up caused his cellphone to buzz on the counter. Gin, asking what he was doing up so early. He knew he had to answer, because if he didn’t, she’d assume someone else stole the laptop and totally lock him out of it without hesitating.

C: Can’t sleep. Antsy.
G: Bummer, more ED?
C: Dick works fine.
G: Energy Drinks…….
C: I try and stay away.

Him abstaining from grabbing an energy drink from downstairs definitely had nothing to do with his heart already being strained from the anxiety. Yet, he was intent on sitting there and calibrating the little machines, their uplink to the dressing-box in the greenhouse allowing him to fiddle to his heart’s content. Amazingly, actually doing what he wanted to do helped the anxiety a tremendous amount, so by the time the sun was really shining on St. Portwell, he was fine again. Ready for another day with Trisha, and to get the second part of their intended prep work done.

Normally, for the first couple of hours after she drifted off Trisha was an incredibly light sleeper. Easily disturbed, as if her body understood her anxiety and only felt safe to fall into a deeper sleep after hours of nothing happening. It was only major things that stopped her drifting back off- Casey moving during the night was never a problem, whereas straight up leaving would be.

But thankfully for him, the magic and knowledge transfer had drained her body and mind enough that she instantly fell into a deep, undisturbable sleep. As he left she barely reacted, body so exhausted that it wasn't going to let her escape the pull of sleep until she rested as much as she needed.

It wasn't until the sunlight hit her that things changed, the deep, black sleep shifting into something more restless. Dreams… Nightmares. It was all fragmented, shifting between nightmare scenario to nightmare scenario. Monsters, horrendous shadows, and people she almost recognised attacking them. Every time, she could barely do anything. And he would step in to protect her, before dying right in front of her.

She woke up in a panic, quick, harsh breathing only getting worse when she didn't feel any immediate warmth. Her eyes shot open to… Nothing. An empty couch. No Casey. It only made her panic more, enough that the bees that slipped into the room in his absence swarmed her.

Casey waking up and leaving before her wasn't unusual. He had to get up insanely early for work all the time… But he wasn't doing that today. They were doing more training! So where had he gone? Had something happened? Was he called to something dangerous, or had he just chosen to leave because-

The first sign of life from the Den wasn't Trisha herself, but a gentle buzzing from a bee that had crawled under the door. Except as it made its way towards Casey its flight was strangely erratic, and it bumped right into his face rather than landing like normal. It was like a drone controlled by someone who had no idea what they were doing. But after it bumped into him, it shifted to more normal bee behaviour, landing on his shoulder and crawling around.

Trisha hadn't wanted to go out herself. Because if she did and he wasn't there, she'd just crawl right back into the Den and curl up in a ball of anxiety. It was better to assume the worst and not leave, checking with a bee rather than herself. But he was just outside… He hadn't left, and he wasn't dead.

It took another five minutes before Trisha emerged, spending enough time to calm herself down so there were no obvious tells that she'd woken up panicking. The bees no longer clung to her and she was breathing as normally as she ever did. He shouldn't be able to tell.

Just like the bee, she immediately moved towards Casey, a sleep shuffle with her arms already outstretched towards him. Though waking from the nightmare had made her more alert than she'd normally be this early, the early heavy sleep still clung to make her even softer.
“Morning, my love… When did you wake up?"

The quiet had gone on too long, clearly. He did his best not to grimace when he looked down at the clock and realized it’d been four hours. It felt like four minutes, and made him want to weep. He was so used to isolation, long strings of quiet that weren’t broken by routine things like this. Like her… Something was going wrong with his brain, and he couldn’t even begin to unpack it to make any fixes. Was it anxiety over what was coming that made him feel this sudden pull? The call of the wild?

”Oh,-” he looked at the clock on the computer as if he didn’t know what time it was.
”-forty-five minutes or so.”

The lie left his lips as easily as the breath from his lungs. He should’ve been incredibly ashamed of himself. Something so fucking simple… But how could he tell her he wanted to be away? How could he ever say that to someone who had been through everything she’d been through in her life. He couldn’t leave, and he could never let her know that he did anything close on purpose.
The arbitrary amount of time at that point was just to minimize whatever residual she may’ve felt from not waking up with him. They’d talked about that a couple times… That both of them slept better with one another.

But what if he didn’t want to sleep? He was stuck in bed for eight hours? Did he have to devise a way to bring his workshop into their room without waking her? She’d probably let him even if he didn’t devise some kind of mute button. Just to have him there… His arm closest to her opened up, wrapping around her and squeezing tightly. At least when she was animated, he could really feel her with his whole existence. Mind and body both. Warmth radiated, and the lie came out even easier once the initial pitch flew.

”I figured, ‘It’s getting light and you’ll be up soon.’, so I’d do some work with the targeting systems.” he spoke calmly, hoping she didn’t see the first set of coffee grinds in the trash, or assumed that he hadn’t had the time to drink two pots.

“Mm, that makes sense.” Trisha responded surprisingly easily. Her focus was entirely on him, barely registering anything else around him. She hugged him tightly from the side, nuzzling into his neck and just breathing for a moment. She needed to really know that he was there to push away the lingering fears from her nightmare… But he was real.

She didn’t really loosen up when she no longer felt just a couple of steps from panic, just pulling her head away from his shoulder to look at him.

“The magic transfer must’ve really exhausted me… I slept really deeply. Normally I only sleep like that after days awake. I guess it was a good thing, because it isn’t lingering. I’m ready to test out the beequipment. I’m really looking forward to working on it together.” She continued sweetly. Though she said she was ready for the day of training, she wasn’t making any moves to detach. If anything, she was clinging to him more.

That was something Casey could equally lock in on, at least… But he felt her tighter. Like a straight jacket. A noose. A suit tie… Not a noose.

”Good, I’m glad. ‘Cuz I’m having a rough morning. So, I’ll be following your lead. You want me to, uh… Wait? For you to wake up a bit more?” he asked, free hand motioning toward the computer on the kitchen island that they were in front of.

”There’s even training wheels built into it. Like, I noticed you were probably controlling that lone bee a little while ago? It’s meant to help with stuff like that. The software, I mean, the stuff that connects the machines to you.”

Much easier to talk about something technical than deal with how badly he wanted to peel her off his torso and leap into the ceiling.

“Yeah, I’m not awake enough to do anything more complicated… It was surprisingly hard.” Trisha gently whined.
“I didn’t think I had to control everything. Even the flying… Felt like it would’ve been easier to send one out normally and figure out what they came back with. I guess if the software helps, it won’t be so bad, and I’ll get used to it.”

She furrowed her brow slightly, pulling her upper body back just slightly to look at him better, gaze soft and slightly concerned. She was still tired enough that she didn’t exactly want to jump right into training, but not that she’d just miss things he said…
“What do you mean having a rough morning… Did something happen? Can I… help?”

”I seem to be trapped in some kind of anxiety… I can’t think of a way for you to help right now, so, y’know, just… Do your best to keep it out of your mind and trust that if I think of a way for you to help, I’ll be sure to ask.” he said with an incredibly matter-of-fact tone in his voice. He could be honest like this… As long as she didn’t ask what the problem was specifically, and he didn’t have to tell her, he knew he’d be in the clear.

”I just wanted to make sure you know. We’ll be around one another all day, so I don’t want you getting worried that I may have a silly little attitude at some point. Okay, babe?”
His hand came to her face, rubbing her cheek before pinching it playfully and kissing her.

”I’ll probably be okay when we’re working.”

Trisha nodded, though she still looked concerned. She wasn’t surprised that she couldn’t help… The only thing she ever had to offer was being there. If that wasn’t enough… Though she knew herself how anxiety didn’t just go away easily. Maybe she should push a little and ask what the actual problem was? Talking had helped her a little sometimes. But if he was worried he might have a bit of an attitude at some point, surely pushing would just make him get annoyed at her? She didn’t want that.

So she could only guess. Maybe it was after what happened yesterday, with the meat? Or just generally what was going to happen… That made the most sense. Maybe it was similar to what she’d been anxious about? Probably not… He’d be able to say if it was just worry she’d get hurt.

“Alright, if you’re sure. I’ll be right here all day so just ask.” She smiled warmly, tilting her head forward to chase after him after the kiss. Her nose gently rubbed against his. She was as close as she could be… If he couldn’t tell her what the problem was, she could only try help in the way she normally did. Being there, hugging him. Like he helped her.

“Just give me… Ten more minutes, then I’ll get ready and we can start if you think you’ll feel better working.” She hugged into him more, doing her best to suppress her selfish reluctance to let go even to get ready. Normally she’d like at least an hour to relax and cuddle and wake up, but she didn’t want to delay if he thought he’d feel okay when they got started. It wasn’t like they were going different places, and they could still hug while training.

“I need to shower, but I’ll be quick… It’s not like the bathroom’s far away either. I need to figure out which bees are best to test it with too. I guess I can do that while you finish getting everything set up with the software?”

Knowing full well that he wanted her to take her time, Casey bolted his entire brain into a rigid state as he tried to figure out what the proper response was.

”Yep.”

Yep? Casey’d never ever answered Trisha with just yep. It was far outside the box; so much in fact that even he furrowed his own eyebrow in spite of the slight pause stretching into an awkward stare at, into, and straight through Trisha’s skull. Like he wasn’t even there. And then it clicked. The entire last month? It’d just been a good month. He had them a lot more often these days, sure. But, not until now had he even really taken his condition into serious consideration.

His mind instantly found the days before Halloween. He’d practically just come back from a trip. It wasn’t a reactionary thing, where he’d feel his slumping attitude toward life and then run off into the woods until he cared about things again. That’s usually what he did on the come-up, after all; he had to be in a half way decent mood to bag the equipment and hike out like a man rather than a magician. With Casey, camping out could be the easiest thing in the world, but for him it was something special. Something worth more than zero effort, at least for himself.

”Orrrr, y’know, whatever you like best. Sure. We’re basically just gonna be looking at the computer here and stuff, that’s really all your bit that we’ve gotta do. But, shower and stuff. If it floats your boat.”

Dude, what the fuck?

It certainly wasn’t a better answer. Now he was headed toward potential anxiety territory for her, acting so weird.

”I like you smelly.”

Was that better?

God, I hope so, because that’s all there is in the tank right now.

He managed a smile at least. It truly was all he could ask of himself. Anything else was just begging for open mental anguish. A ticking timebomb that he’d simply woken up with… Was it the small ceremony for the people they’d lost? There’d be a lot more of those before it ended, probably… To get used to war again? And at home? How could he bring her into that? But, she’d prompted it! She wanted it!

She didn’t know what the Hell she wanted, except for him. She wanted him, and he was well aware of that. And it was cool, and good, but now everything was different. Normal. Plain. Like the color was fading. He couldn’t let it. He couldn’t let it. He couldn’t let it. He started to leak tears looking down at her face.

Trisha’s steadily increasing anxiety at him acting strange shot right up into panic and concern when he started crying.

Was he upset at her? Was there something she’d done, somehow? Was that why he was suddenly talking so… Monotonously? It was a non conversation, like he didn’t really want to talk at all. Like she’d experienced plenty of times before… But that could be why he was crying. For all she was quick to self blame, she couldn’t find anything she’d done to cause that kind of reaction.

It didn’t matter if it was somehow her fault or not. Even though panic gripped her, she couldn’t let herself fall into a full attack when Casey clearly wasn’t doing well. Suppress, suppress, suppress. She had to concentrate on helping him. She couldn’t let her own issues take centre stage again. She’d fucked up with that after Thanksgiving… She didn’t want to do that again.

“What’s wrong, Casey?” She asked as gently as she could, managing to sound as calm as she could under the circumstances. One hand moved up to try to wipe away his tears.
“Why are you crying? Was it something you thought of or… I don’t know… Can I help?”

It’s gotta be the fucking rain.

Casey didn’t know where to put his hands. He created distance between them by sliding up off the chair and not exactly supporting her. One shot up to brush his hair back with an anguished look on his face as the other reached for her lower back in a completely reactionary fashion, as if he was catching a precious vase.

”Listen to me: This month is going to be very fucking weird, okay? Because, well, I haven't really worked out all the kinks yet, and last month everything felt so good, y'know? And now, well, it's not! I'm not, like it just fucking happens, like you were down and stuff last month... And I was hoping that just being around you all the time would make that last forever, and it just fucking didn't, and it kinda hit me last night, all at once, y’know, that ‘Oh, wait, it’s all still there. And I am still a piece of shit.’ Because, I am, y’know? And life’s all a big fucking trick. And there’s nothing much I can do about that besides keep trying. So, now I’ve gotta try even fucking harder, and we’re doing this thing for you to protect yourself and make you more efficient even with minimal control of your bees… And they smell you don’t they? Like- Listen, that’s not the point, this is not your fault, this isn’t you, Trisha I swear to God, I’m not- I’m not leaving, I’m not… I love you. I love you, and I’m sorry, and I’m a fucker, and it’s fine! It’s fine, right? Because, y’know, you’re… My fiance. And you’ll be here right?”

The dam burst somewhere in the middle, where he’d begun to get incoherent not only in his ramblings, but in a constant shuddering breath as he tried to gather his thoughts into a proper organized fashion without blowing her mind completely. He knew reminding her that he wasn’t going to leave was good. She’d like that. But would she believe him?

”You are an absolute pile of hypocritical filth Caseau!”
”And I trusted you! We love you! How can you possibly fucking do this to us!? Love no more! It’s finished! I hope that apartment burns the fuck down and the windows blow out!”

”G-god they hate me so fucking badlyyyyyyyyyyyy-” he broke off into a terrible sob.
”-c-called me a m-motherkilling fuck! B-but I… I l-love them!”

Right… No more booze.

The space between play and work, and time to think about things in the background. Amazingly, he didn’t even think of alcohol as the first option to get away from these bipolar bouts.. Too much discipline. Only on the special occasion would he ever give himself to that… Because he totally lost himself in the drink. But, he could see the signs. He’d been on his way down since they had to kill that assassin.

His first Sergeant in the Legion had called him a well-moulded skipping stone. Back then, he’d been on the bounce. Always ready for the next thing, and the next. Now, it was more like he was good at skating just above the line he had to. But all stones skipped wind up sinking…

Trisha’s breath hitched as she tried to process everything that was going on. Who hated him? It must be Clarissa and Furio… Who else would call him that? Was that the reason for all of this? What they’d said?

No, no, it was clearly more than that. A PTSD thing? A bad period like hers… Which was fine! She could help him through it or just be there for him like he’d been for her. But why was he asking if she’d be there? Where else would she go? Why was he saying about not leaving? Nothing he’d said before implied that happening- it was something she was always worried about, but he hadn’t said anything to activate it… Until that. Because why else would he be saying he wasn’t leaving? Only if he was thinking about it, right?!

“It’s difficult with them, Casey, but you don’t deserve their hate… They’re the ones who don’t want something more reasonable. Them and Lynette! It’s not your fault.” She shook her head. As she spoke she closed the distance he’d made between them, trying to hug him in the hope it would offer some comfort.

”Ohhhh, who gives a fuck!?” he groaned loudly as she hugged tightly to him. He didn’t fight it, but he wasn’t exactly hugging back either. His breath was still ragged as he tried to clear his throat.

”She’s dead already for all she cares! She’s got a fuckin’ plan! And now all I can do is keep fucking going! But, she’s fucking evil! Like comic book evil, and that’s my fucking legacy! And now here you are… Look at you! Because people are fucking shallow, you’re stuck with some fuck like me!? Like me!? You’re gorgeous, and people take that and think there’s nothing more, and they fucking treated you that way, and now you’re fucking here!? Complicit in all this, like it’s some fucking cauldron we’re standing over!?”

He scooped under her arms, like she was a toy, and plucked her from the ground to bring her to the bathroom door.

”I can’t turn my back on you… So p-please, take your shower now! And-and, I swear to God! By the time you come b-back out, I’ll be alright! Alright?” he asked in absolute shambles as he let her feet gently touch the threshold of the bathroom door.

“What- No? It’s not alright… How am I supposed to shower and leave you like this?” She did her best not to raise her voice even as it hitched with panic. That he was just going to suffer alone, and he was… pushing her away?

How was that fair, when he forced himself through all of her walls? Why wasn’t she allowed to have issues without really explaining them, but he could? She really didn’t want to get annoyed, so she concentrated on her concern for him. Because there was no way she could just walk into the bathroom and not spend every minute worrying about him. She wasn’t heartless. She loved him! She wasn’t going to think any different of him just because of how he was acting, just like how he dealt with her issues.

“I’m not stuck with you, Casey. I love you, even if your mother’s evil, and when you’re suffering. I want to be with you. I don’t care about anything else! You’re amazing… Even when you’re struggling so much you’re still thinking about me. I can’t just leave you alone… Because you’re not really going to be alright, are you?”

As she stared at him, another thought formed from the panic she was trying to not let overshadow helping him. He wasn’t just worried about how she’d feel about him, was he? He’d stepped away, he was trying to make her shower instead of just talking about it, he-
“You don’t want me here.”

Oh no.

Accurately, Casey predicted his own fate. Maybe there was prescience in that blood after all… Or, he was a master at driving himself headlong into a wall.

”Do I need to explain it to you? You really really want that? After last month and everything? You can’t just fucking trust me, that I’m gonna do what I say? See, this- This is exactly-”

He was still in tears all the while, as if the single accusation drove him into a corner. It was exactly why he felt like he was a piece of shit. Because he felt a million different things at that moment. He tried his absolute hardest to do what he could…

Tried so hard, that he too gave Trisha the chance to have her own experience with a Wildcasting Adept. For Casey to break the discipline he’d placed upon himself with any kind of spell was something that would only happen under incredible duress. The truth was, those million different things he was feeling were all crashing down. Down to the rubble of a base in the jungle. The bloody dunes. The ruins of beautiful countrysides. Bones, blood, death. Love for this woman who managed to sneak her way into his life like a knife between his ribs, and the pain of not knowing how to conduct himself properly beyond that point.

And then his eyes just… Became ice. Not in the sense that they were cold, or that he looked at her with hatred. White Lux pooled and bubbled into his iris, and into the pupil that formed the eye of the storm forming. He struggled desperately for fractions of a second to grasp even the slightest hint of what the optimal future was. But it was never natural for him. A second or two, maybe…

This was one of his Mother’s spells. He had to stop talking because his teeth were starting to chatter out of his head as the magic ran up from the stalks that ran into his brain, down his spinal cord, and into his heart. And he tried his absolute hardest to do what he could.

”-what the- I ss-s-a-”

May as well have been a magical stroke. Both legs went a little limp around the same time he stopped feeling his head attached to his neck. If he’d had his channeler on hand, he would’ve probably been fine, but this wasn’t a spell to play around with. He dropped to his knees, and with the last bit of sanity he had, tried his best to ward Trisha off a few more feet as two pots worth of coffee splashed out of him all at once. A few good heaves was all it took… But at least the spell stopped.

Only for him to become immediately angry about this happening… Embarrassed, really.

”Aaaaugh… Fucking- Please! Get a towel!” he growled, the hand that had warded her off now waiting for a towel expectantly.

Trisha reactively flinched, but she actually did what he said, walking backwards into the bathroom to grab a towel without taking her eyes off him. It wasn’t because she was scared of him. How he asked- ordered, more- only made her feel more antsy and panicked. The fight reaction was starting to push his way through. The towel was shoved into his hand without much care.

But she was still more worried about him than anything. He’d fallen down and thrown up again! He’d… He’d cast a spell, hadn’t he? Was it why he’d thrown up? It had to mean. Did that mean he’d… Wildcast?

“Did you try to wildcast, Casey?!” She tried not to make it sound like an accusation. She wasn’t trying to attack him, she was worried. But she was panicking. All of this happened because he didn’t… want to be with her? No, he didn’t want to talk to her because he didn’t want to deal with how she reacted.

“Are you- How hurt are you?!”

She had no idea what he’d actually cast so she could only guess. Some way to force her to leave him alone? Was that even possible… Or to immediately end the conversation? The more she thought about it, the more she spiralled.

“Why? Because you don’t want to tell me how you feel? You hate dealing with me so much you need to hurt yourself to get out of it? This whole time I’ve been trying to help and you’ve just been hoping my anxiety will act up enough that I’ll guess you don’t want me around? Then when I do, you wildcast?” No, no, she shouldn’t throw that in his face. She shouldn’t expect him to react a certain way because she was helping.

But she was upset now too. Especially with what he said before he tried to cast a spell. It hurt that he felt the way he did, but it also hurt he didn’t even want to try and tell her. So much for honesty. And she knew exactly why. Because he was worried about how she’d react and panic… Which she would. But she could’ve gotten through it! Maybe!

Casey could only mop up stomach acid and coffee while he sat and listened to her go on and on. Because he’d done his absolute best to avoid this! But now here it was in their faces, and he was just proven worse and worse by every word she spoke.

”Did I not just get done fucking begging for a little leneancy!? Like you even told me about anything that was eating you up a month ago? Where do you even get off assuming that I hate dealing with you? Like this is your fucking problem? Like it’s you? When I fucking told you that it wasn’t you? Because you don’t trust me, you can’t just take my word when I give it to you?”

The towel was soaked. His hair was soaked in tears and the coffee it had been dragged through, and he looked up at her finally with those big blue eyes again. And they were full of pain.

”I… Get what’s wrong. With you. Why you don’t trust me… But how could you ever understand the things I’ve fucking done? What I’ve seen? Nightmares, sure. Terror. But I’ve killed friends. People have looked me in the face and told me we were brothers. People I’ve drank with, people I’ve cared for. And I fucking killed them. And there’s just more to fucking come… But you wanna ask me if I don’t want you around? When I’m here, trying to see the future to know what the best answer to give to you is? So that we can end this stupid fight? Because it’s stupid! Because we’re both keyed the fuck up, and rather than try and relax, I’m… Fucking being stupid!”

Trisha was trying her best not to cry as he hit her with more and more. She was succeeding, for the most part… Good at holding them back if she really wanted to. But her eyes were still watery even if they didn’t start leaking.

She wasn’t trying to make it about herself! And she wasn’t trying to understand it… She was just trying to help. Of course she couldn’t understand it. So of course he wouldn’t want to talk to her about it. It made sense, really… All of her problems were mundane enough for him to understand. His were worse than that, clearly. It was why she had to open up more and he didn’t.

She couldn’t understand, so she couldn’t help, so he’d get worse if she kept trying. It didn’t really matter how she felt… That she didn’t want him to wildcast to get some perfect answer. She didn’t want to fight. She didn’t feel like she’d been starting it… He was the one who’d been acting in a way that made her even think he didn’t want her around. Was she supposed to just keep it inside and get more anxious? Wasn’t that the opposite of what he kept telling her to do?!

“I don’t think it’s me, Casey. I think you’re doing badly because of something else… And you don’t want me here. Because you didn’t deny it. You tried to find the best answer- But you didn’t even want to be honest in the first place.” She spoke surprisingly calmly. Coldly… Like she’d suddenly detached.

If he wanted to end the fight, they could end the fight. If he didn’t want to talk, they didn’t have to talk. She’d stop. It wasn’t the first time he’d shut her down, after all. There was no point in hurting him more.

She was still upset and annoyed, but for once she could recognise that if she kept snapping at him it would make things worse. Not that she was having a healthy response by completely suppressing everything. But it was better that way. It wouldn’t last, but it would give him a break, at least. While he was dealing with so much.

“You’re right that I can’t understand, even if I try. I wanted to help, but I should’ve done what you wanted and just taken a shower. I won’t argue anymore. No more stupid fight.”

”No, Trisha. No more stupid fight right now. Just, what… Long, awkward silence where you pretend to be fine for my sake? I brought it up, right? It’s all my fucking fault, right? So, come on, you wanna say something again about how I’m not a piece of shit? Do you still believe yourself?”

The towel was soaked. He was gross.

”Go on! Turn around, I’ll follow you. M-may as well have this argument in the shower now, since we both n-need one! Right?” his free hand waved her on toward the shower.
”Maybe that was the perfect option! How’ll you ever know if you act like that?”

Humor?

Fight’s done.

Incredibly, Casey was trying to rally some kind of comeback. Or, maybe he was just reveling in the chance to be absurd. Truthfully, he did feel a little better talking about it, but that was completely overshadowed by the fact of the matter… That he felt like an evil person for even considering wanting some free time… But he knew if he told her that, she’d get just like this. Defensive, and cagey. Ready because she probably assumed the next thing that was coming was a hasty retreat.

But he believed in his feelings. He believed they were real… And looking down at her now still made him want to try. Whether it was because really did want him to, or because he thought it was right to do, didn’t matter.

”I said at the beginning of this… This month is going to get weird. It’s going to be incredibly fucking difficult in some aspects… I don’t want to burden you with everything! Because it’s a lot, and because we’re trying our hardest to work on you, and I show you every fucking day that I love you! So, please, don’t be fucking cold to me… And I’ll try and give you the same courtesy… Because I do love you, and no I don’t want to be away from you. And if you really really want me to, I’ll lay it all down. Every single layer of it, Trisha… Because, I said before: You’re my fiance. You’ll be here for it. If I’m asking you to trust me, you’re right. I have to trust you too.”

“Why didn’t you just say that? That you don’t want to be away from me? Why did you make it seem like you had something horrible to say, then try magic an answer?” Trisha sniffed, hands going up to rub her eyes.

She didn’t move further into the bathroom like he told her to, because she didn’t know if he was being serious. She was confused. He wanted to stop fighting, then got upset when she tried to do that? Because she was cold to him? She wasn’t trying to be cold. She hadn’t been planning to be silent… Just suppress her own feelings to concentrate on him. Ignoring him wouldn’t exactly help there. Though he was right that she was going to pretend to be fine.

It wasn’t really possible for her to just drag the emotions back up. But the coldness, a side effect of suppressing it all, slipped away as she looked at him. Still not quite crying, confused, lips scrunched up and body still tense. She wasn’t sure if this was still an argument. He didn’t seem to be trying to fight, even though he’d suggested they continue it in the shower.

“I do trust you, Casey. I know it doesn’t seem like it… But I trust that what you show me is real and that you love me. I’m doing my best to fight through my anxiety so that trust wins. But how am I meant to when I don’t know what’s going on? Going to get weird doesn’t explain anything. All I knew was that you were having a hard time, then you moved me to the bathroom when I tried to comfort you, and got upset when I stated what I thought. I’m not trying to blame you… But I want to know. It’s not fair if it’s all about working on me. That’s not how it works… I love you. I want to help you just like you want to help me, even if there’s nothing we can actually do.”

While the coldness was gone, she was still clearly quite detached. She normally wouldn’t talk so calmly in a situation like this. It wasn’t really emotional, beyond the gentle love for him that still managed to leak through everything.

The firm tone was one he could accept, as it brought them far closer in attitude toward one another. Equilibrium. But ultimately, what could he say to her in response? Everything she said was right. So how could he ever possibly tell her everything when she held feelings like those?

”I… Want to be with you all the time. That’s why I’m mad. I’m mad at myself, because sometimes I wanna be alone, but then, I’ve either gotta go do something, or I’m here and I’m with you doing something. And I love that you really want to be around me like that. It’s why even imagining asking for a bit of personal time makes me feel like an evil prick.”

His face turned downwards, breath becoming a bit more ragged as he got closer to the truth.

”I’m upset for wanting that personal space to begin with. Because another part of me knows you’re one of the only people I don’t get annoyed by regularly. And I love you! And of course, you should always want to be with that person… So, I’m a piece of shit. And I made it worse, not better.” he simpered, bottom lip quivering in shame.

Trisha sniffed, trying not to reactively let tears actually start to fall. Of course for someone with her doubts and anxieties it was difficult to hear… But more than that, she felt bad. So bad because he’d been beating himself up over something that was relatively normal to want. Just because she never felt that way with a partner didn’t mean she had no understanding of it. She had friends who needed alone time like that too, from anyone.

But he didn’t want to ask because of her and her issues. She would have panicked. She could feel it building in her chest now. But it was a panic that she could have tried to get through. It wasn’t fair for him to make all those sacrifices for her, after all.

“You’re not a piece of shit. It’s normal to want personal time, I think… Even if it wasn’t, you’re not an asshole for having wants. Even if it clashes with mine and makes me anxious.” She still wasn’t talking like someone who was a couple of steps away from properly panicking now. Sometimes self suppression really worked… And she didn’t want to make him feel even worse. Or prove that she had to be constantly taken care of.

“I… don’t want to pretend that it’s easy to hear. I want to spend all my time with you and hearing that you don’t is hard. It makes me worried… But I know that’s not rational, right? It’s not fair for you to just prioritise me all the time. That’s not how it's meant to happen. And… I know it’s so hypocritical of me to say this… but I can’t get better if we pander to my anxiety like that.” Though she could only say something like that because she was, hypocritically, trying to completely prioritise Casey over herself and holding off the expected panic.

It was enough to be logical, even if it didn’t change the anxiety she actually felt. She did have to get over that kind of anxiety. She couldn’t expect him to be around her all the time, even if him not wanting to felt like a slippery slope towards him never wanting to be there… but that wasn’t it, it really wasn’t.

“I’m sorry that I made you feel like you can’t tell me!”

Casey’s face had gone from frustrated to sad again, and then to nothing more than a sombre stare toward the floor. She was yessing him to death. And even if she wasn’t, it’s what he felt. Every bit of her bridled anxiety. All his fault.

”But, all last month… It was good. I felt good. Then, them. The booze. Yesterday with the arms. Last night I never fell asleep. I sat there with you on top of me, and my heart started racing… I started getting really antsy. About how if I tried to leave, you’d wake up. And if I lied to you about having to go work, I may as well just go work. But, I didn’t want to. I wanted you to keep sleeping, and not worry about it and be fine. Because knowing that if you woke up, and I just told you to go back to sleep, you’d get the same feeling you have now. So I snuck out, and I just sat here, and drank coffee, and messed with the bee program… Because I wanted to, because even if it isn’t being with you directly, it’s still for you. And it just got worse, ‘cuz I’ve been out here for hours now…”

He admitted it. He wasn’t great at maintaining a lie… But she was just going to freak out more anyway… He strained to stop himself from ripping the bandage off.

”I’m a piece of shit for making it your fault. When I still told you, it isn’t”

“Maybe it isn’t my fault you feel that way, but it’s my fault you didn’t just ask.” Trisha responded as evenly as she could, arms wrapping around herself tightly. She was still trying her best to not visibly panic, even though he clearly knew. It was impossible for her to really hide, especially from him. It was getting more difficult to breathe as her own guilt weighed down on her.

It really wasn’t fair that her feelings just took precedence. And that just made her feel worse. That her severe anxiety affected him that much. He was just suffering through it… Most people would have just left by now! She was glad it hadn’t been enough for that yet, but that didn’t make it alright. It didn't stop her from being a problem even if she wasn’t selfish enough to want him to ignore all of his own shit and try for her. She loved him too much.

She was upset that he lied to her, especially when she was trying so hard to be honest. But it reflected right back onto herself… He lied because he felt that telling her would make her panic, and he didn’t want that. It didn’t matter to her that the actual problem wasn’t her fault. He was actively stopping himself from doing something that might help because of her.

“You should feel like you can get out of bed when you want… Because it upsets me that you force yourself too. It’s… I’ve been trying so hard to be honest and not hide things, because you asked me not to, even though it terrifies me. But then you won’t even tell me something because you’re worried about me panicking, and then you lie, so it feels like you don’t trust me. That’s-” She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to get so upset at him again. She was trying to suppress that all, even if it was so difficult and the hysteria really started to leak out. He was being honest now. She shouldn't escalate things again towards another proper fight when he was actually talking about it, just because she was upset.

“I love you, Casey. I want you to tell me things like this and not just suffer through them.”

Casey heard what Trisha was saying and did his best not to continuously interrupt her with interjections and arguments that he felt would vindicate him in some way. He wanted to keep arguing the point for whatever reason. Wanted to make himself sound worse, because her trivializing all of it felt like a massive cop out.

Him going through the same process with her just felt natural. Like he was meant to be the good person who was able to talk people through this stuff logically, because he was the one who knew better. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. His entire position was built on that feeling; of being the one in the driver’s seat, guiding the sheep along the shepherd's path… And she was supposed to be the one he was guiding.

How could he? She wouldn’t respect him now… Not after this. Now he mentally prepared for a life spent never living this down. It was painful, it was frustrating, and most importantly, it was entirely self perceived.
And those perceptions are ultimate. One does not easily look past the reality they create in their own world for the objectivity that lies without.

”Sorry I’m such a hypocrite. I do things for everyone… Things to make people’s lives easier. I just feel like I should do my absolute best to minimize the bouts of stress in your life… I want you happy…”

Trisha frowned as she looked at him, arms tightening around herself as if that would somehow make her less tense. Did he really not trust her? He felt she was that unreliable that he could never lean on her? She understood… Because it was probably true. She cracked under pressure. But she wanted to try.

They were going to be together forever, hopefully… She wanted to be able to look after him just like he did her. Needed to be able to.

“I am happy, Casey. Not all the time- But I'm happier than I've ever been. If this is you when you're bad, then that won't change." It maybe wasn't entirely true. Or at least, it was based on the low standards she had for her life and terrible expectations built from past partners. If they don't shout in your face or try hit you, they're great…

But this was something she could cope with. Nobody was ever going to be perfect… Even if she struggled with his want to be alone, because it triggered her anxieties, it didn't mean she wasn't overall happy. But if he kept trying to push her away and stop her from helping… then it might change and get more difficult…

“You should be able to rely on me. I'm not everyone, I'm your fiance. You already said it… that I'll be here for it. I'm here to support you- not to just be one sidedly cared for! I don't want you to push me away with excuses like ‘I’ll be alright after you shower’ just to minimise it affecting me."

”Well, to be fair… I wouldn’t call the last part an excuse. I was serious. Like, we’re both adults, right? If we can’t put aside our own emotions to get shit done, we’ve got more work to do. I could’ve done that, and we could’ve avoided this argument. But, you wanted to ask questions, so I never got the chance to even try.” Casey replied with a bit of a whine.

In truth, he felt like he could’ve buried it. For her? He already knew he could do anything. But just like he said, she never really gave him the chance to try. Just pushed back. Maybe that kind of comment would be more of a salt rub, as it implied he had given her the chance too… He hadn’t, really. But he also couldn’t see why she wanted to clam up. There wasn’t anything about her that he thought was terrible…

”I can actually hide the emotions I'm feeling… They don’t crawl out and live on my face usually if I have a little prep time. I just… Got caught off guard, y’know?”

Trisha flinched back, feeling like she'd been slapped in the face by his words. It took all of her willpower to not explode in response and escalate it right back into a fight. They were so targeted.

She could hide it too if she was given the time to but he never let her. She wasn't allowed to try. He always pushed, or dragged it out with magic… and she was beginning to accept it was maybe better that way. But it wasn't really fair she always had to drag it up, and when she tried to do the same with him it got thrown in her face. Because she asked questions and started a fight.

He was saying he could do everything she couldn't. He could hide it, he could put aside his emotions, he wasn't reactive and resentful. She knew that, but he didn't need to point it out like that. She was the problem. Always the problem. It hurt a lot, her panicked self hatred easily latching onto what she perceived as blame in his words.

With the angry response buried, there was a sarcastic one on the tip of her tongue. Well I'm sorry for caring. She couldn't say that. She didn't want to ruin things anymore than she already had. Because like he said, everything would be fine if she just left it.

Not that she really believed that.

“I don't think you could've. Not fully. You had time! I sent out a bee first… It would come out eventually." Trisha's face scrunched up, trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to without sounding hypocritical. That holding it in meant it was worse when it came out, even though it was what she always did… she couldn't say shit like that. It was easier to keep suppressing and go along with it, just deal with the panic attacks it caused her down the line.

“If that's what you really want, Casey, then that's fine. I won't ask anymore. You can try your best to hide it… Even though I don't think you can without me noticing." Not without becoming an emotionless robot. That would just be worse.
“If you really think that's better, I won't argue anymore. I want you to want to talk to me, anyway. How much time do you need? You can shower first, I can go sit in the Den until you're ready."

Casey closed his eyes, fingers raising up to grip the bridge of his nose in frustration. This was why he didn’t want to be around anyone. Say things to one end, you’re cold and uncaring, or cruel and callous. Go too far in the other direction, the retaliation becomes spite… He didn’t want either of these situations. He just wanted his bubbly Trisha. Happy Trisha. Yet, here they were.

”I want to talk. To you. That doesn’t mean that I think it’ll help me. It helps more to not have someone stressed out next to me because I’m stressed. Like, what the fuck can I say in this moment? It’s ruined. The morning, the day, the week, month… Because I’m not strong enough to carry it all for one more day? Pathetic. I’m pathetic.”

Her escalation of implied action didn't help. It just made him feel worse, that suddenly because he was having problems, all of hers were somehow amplified. And he was being selfish. And still lying too… Lying about the severity, and her culpability in it. How could she ever believe him saying he didn’t want to leave if he told her that her constant clinging was frustrating? Or worse, how she made him feel like he wasn’t allowed to be his own man?

He hadn’t quite bargained for someone who wanted so much of his time… And she wasn’t even awful about giving it to him, just that-

”Every time I say I have to go somewhere that I can’t bring you, your face tells this whole story. Like you can see something in the future I can’t. Like somehow this is the time I won’t come back to you… Do you know how hard it is to do anything that I think will hurt you for even a second? Have you ever actually seen yourself? The way your eyes sink down, and your lip curls just enough to pout, but not so much that it's obvious? I feel like every time I need to leave, I’m killing you… God, I feel like I’m killing you as we speak! But, it’s all based on this totally untested theory that I’m just gonna fucking abandon you! But I don’t want that! I don’t, and that's why I literally started this by telling you that I don’t want to leave you!”

Getting closer to the truth was hard. Because the closer he got, the more it hinged on her getting over what he ultimately thought was a petty trauma. Probably because he didn’t have a life full of loss and rejection quite like Trisha. Or, because he’d had so much brutal loss, totally unable to seek and garner closure from those no longer with them. It was the same for her in that regard… The boy, and the subsequent guilty verdict without trial or sentencing.

”If… You really want to try again, then turn and walk into the bathroom. Shower. Come back out, and I’ll show you that I can do the same.” he finished simply, quietly bracing for the next Trisha tidal wave.

Trisha took a deep, shaky breath, her hands moving from gripping her sides to cover her face. At least then maybe he wouldn't feel guilty because of how she looked.

Everything he said made it feel like he just… Didn't understand. That just because he told her he didn't want to leave her right now didn't mean it wouldn't happen. She loved him and she was trying her best to trust him, but how could she fully when it had barely been more than a month? When every single other time she'd been left behind? It wasn't an untested theory for her. With Casey, yes, but as far as partners- even just people- in her life went… She couldn't just get over it. She'd told him! She'd told him that she might be like this forever!

And she couldn't stand there and talk about how she wasn't just worried about him choosing to leave, but him dying too. Like her being with him all the time would somehow prevent that, instead of pushing him to do crazy things to protect her. The fear of losing his way was equal to him leaving normally now.

“I’m sorry I can't just hide everything. I'm trying, I'm really trying! Do you know how much worse I would've been a month ago? Maybe I'm not dealing with it well, but I'm willing to try! If you told me you wanted to go be alone, I wouldn't stop you, I'd try my hardest to deal with it until you came back. But I'm not just going to wake up one day and suddenly be fine. I told you that it would take a long time… And that I might always be like this. And you proposed to me."

Her shoulders shook a little bit, and she shuffled backwards so that she was actually in the bathroom.
“I’ll get better at hiding it too, so it doesn't hurt you. Because I don't want to hurt you. And obviously honesty isn't important anymore."

Fuck, she needed to stop before she got more mean. She didn't know how to de-escalate without leaving, but she didn't want to just turn around either.
“It… doesn't matter, because obviously I'm not trying hard enough. I'll do better. Can you close the door for me? I don't want to make it any harder for you by showing you my face."

”On what planet is acting like that helpful to either of us?” Casey asked with an incredibly flat tone.

He didn’t like where this was going, but every time he tried to explain himself, she took it to heart and started acting like he was jigging her with a rusty blade.

”Try closing it. I promise, it’ll only hurt as much as you let it.”
And then he turned away to walk back to the computer. Even such a small, relatively insignificant movement came with fresh implications for Trisha to chew on.

In reality, Casey was coming to the conclusion that the only way she’d really have a chance, was for him to truly not baby her. To take the risk that she’d leave, because he wasn’t really worth it… Because he was just a piece of shit. A rag for the military to stain. But he’d try when he could.

After all, part of the process of honesty was becoming comfortable enough to give it freely. They both had to go through that test…

Trisha watched him walk away through her fingers, trembling. She couldn't hold back her tears anymore, but at least he couldn't see anymore… She reached out to hastily pull the door closed, fumbling with it for a moment before it finally clicked shut. At least she didn't have the bandwidth to slam it, because it would just set off her panicking more.

Her shower was a lot longer than she'd originally planned. She had to take the time to try and calm down herself… But it was difficult to stop panicking and crying when she felt like everything was falling apart. It wasn't, it really wasn't, he said he didn't want to leave her… But did he really still feel that way after she was being so difficult? He was the one having a hard time, and she'd only made it worse. She'd just wanted to help… She should've kept her mouth shut. She never made anything better.

But she also knew herself well enough to know it would all come out eventually. She could only shut off for so long. If she could do it eternally, there were a few previous partners she might still be with- albeit unhappily.

She loved Casey. Even when he was like this, she still loved him. She wanted to be with him more than anything. It was why her fears were so amplified, but why she also wanted him to lean on her too.

For now, she'd do what he wanted. Let him have that time to be able to pretend he was fine. Hopefully he'd choose to come to her eventually, and she wouldn't deal with it as badly as she just had.

In the end, it had been at least half an hour by the time she shuffled out in a towel. Standing in the shower so long did a good enough job of flushing her entire face, so the redness underneath her eyes from crying wasn't obvious. She didn't say anything as she made her way up to the loft to get changed, tying her damp hair into a messy bun and pulling on a simple tank top and cargo pants combination. Wearing a bit more than sweats helped her feel a bit less shaky at least, somehow.

Even as she came back down, she was silent. In truth it wasn't that she was coldly ignoring him, she just didn't know what to say. She was nervous. She slipped past into their kitchen area, going into the fridge as quietly as she could. Like she was worried just making too much noise would be the wrong move.

But then she was by his side again, slipping a plate of fruit on the counter beside the laptop. No watermelon or strawberries on it, just in case. She didn't move to hug him, too worried about the reaction, instead just standing there and fiddling with her ring.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have lashed out or tried to push you. I love you so… I just want to do what's best for you. So let's try again, please?"

Casey had spent most of the thirty minutes outside, screaming into the hood of his sweater that he enchanted to muffle him. That entire interaction had been totally outside of the realm he was comfortable with his life existing in. He wanted to be the person he preached about… Really, the hardest part was feeling all the little anxieties and knowing that, like any train moving at cruising speed, they couldn’t be stopped on a dime. Breaks had to be applied over time. It was a painful process for the machine… Friction, heat, pressure; it wasn’t a bad metaphor for a relationship.

But it didn’t make it less painful. How was he supposed to take care of things when this is what he was leaving her with? What kind of truth did she want?

I don’t love you less. I love everything less. You just get caught in it.

It sounded horrible, but it was the truth. That life itself was grim, grey and agonizing. And it was his fault for letting her be sucked into it. She could’ve-
Well, if she was suffering without him… Maybe this was a better kind of suffering? Maybe it mattered? Either way, twenty minutes passed before he realized, but she still hadn’t left the bathroom. So, when he came in, his first thought was to knock on the door. To check on her. To protect, like usual… But he’d just be protecting her from himself. How did that make any sense? She probably didn’t even want to talk to him to begin with now…

He made more coffee. Finished cleaning the mess in front of the bathroom door… Rinsed himself off in the kitchen sink with a now-wet towel. New shirt, new sweats- He’d managed to sit back down at the kitchen island just as she was leaving. Like he hadn’t gone anywhere… He tried to give her a big smile as she came out, but she turned away too fast. Nervous, he assumed. Anxious like he was. How would he play it? Crowd her suddenly, and throw hypocrisy in her face? Or let her approach, and risk seeming cold?

He wanted to crowd her. To act like a puppy who knew he was wrong for peeing on the floor, but could only lick its owner’s face in hopes for lenience. But this moment was as much about being honest for him as saving face was. So, taking that she hadn’t seen his smile at her, he took the chance to give it to her again. But, again, she walked past, moving to the fridge. He was gobsmacked until he realized she was cutting up some melon… And then she brought the plate, and started apologizing. How was he supposed to keep a straight face there? Was she goading him? He told her he had a plan, so he decided to stick with it… For better, or worse.

”Uh… Well, I’m not sure what you mean, Babe.” he started, giving her a blank stare so as not to allow acknowledgement to creep into his expression.
”But, if there were something you needed to apologize for, I’d accept it no matter what.”

Because, obviously, this hadn’t happened. That was the plan, right? To take the break, then act like their morning wasn’t ruined? He could do that. He could show her that he could do that. His hand reached out, pulling her close in an embrace that felt normal, if not a little long-winded.

”You slept alright? Ready to do a bunch of computer work?” he asked her, pulling away just enough to be able to look at her… Enough that when he smiled at her, she’d finally see it and not be able to escape it.

Trisha looked a little confused. She hadn't quite got that they were completely ignoring what had happened. It was something she could go along with, even if it didn't reduce her anxiety one bit. But she was used to being in a constantly anxious state. If anything, the last month getting so comfortable with Casey was an exception.

He was smiling at her, at least. She was struggling to accept it at face value, forcing down all the little voices whispering that it was just pretend. She should go along with it. And it wasn't quite hollow. It wasn't really one of those smiles that was just hiding the coldness underneath. She couldn't see anything bad in his eyes.

She just nodded, turning to hug him back, trying her best to be normal about it too. There was still some nervous hesitation, but she wanted to be close to him more than she'd let that stop her.

“Computer work is what I'm used to. I could do it for days… I bet it's the one thing I have more stamina for than you." She managed to lightly tease with a small smile. She didn't bother verbally answering the sleep question, figuring the nod was enough. She had until the nightmare, but she wasn't going to bring that up now. Especially when she wasn't actually just waking up.

“Is it all on the computer? I assumed it'd involve doing more with the bees. Training them and such."

Casey smiled back, assuming that she was probably right about having more stamina for it. But, it was magical… So this specific circumstance may’ve been a bit of a trick when it came to her statement. Taking another piece of melon off the plate, he munched it down before some kind of knowing came to his eyes. Trisha would be able to see the spark of recognition.

”I… I like that you cut my fruit up for me. Nobody else would do that.”

He wasn’t intentionally ignoring her statement, so much as he was lost in what he was thinking. The very first thing that came to his mind was how nice it was that she cared enough to do that. That it wasn’t just some silly peace offering, because she’d done it quite a few times at this point. He knew she’d do anything for him. And it mattered. And he needed her to know it mattered. Standing up, however, he waved his hand at the seat before guiding her into it.

”Now, as far as training bees… They’ll need to learn how to get into the assignment box. Otherwise, it’s all about you and what you do on this computer. ‘Cuz-”

It was opened up to the main page of the software, which had different sections that were clearly for different aspects of the setup. But, in a bright yellow box, there was an enticing button that said “New Formation”.

”-the software is totally in control of the hardware. And there’s a couple different ways of going about this. For me, I can use it to do things like make sure all the guns work and are loaded, that the harnesses are all good to go, shit like that… But you’re the one programming shit. This computer has a sensor meant to pick up bee pheromones. Gin says it’s supposed to be super sensitive, and there’s a whole list of input commands just waiting for a corresponding marker. The harnesses themselves are able to reproduce the command, meaning that you can pre-make entire formations and battle plans utilizing your scent without you actually inputting the commands on the fly.”

Leaning over her, he opened a formation he’d created that had commands in it. They were all duds, obviously, as Trisha hadn’t attuned the system herself, but it gave a good example of what one of these formation documents actually looked like. It seemed to be like some kind of drone-control software, and was set up much like a drone-show software would be, or even a music editing software. A thousand harnesses were being edited with a programmed functionality; this one seeming to be meant to keep the bees at a not-zero aggression level while maintaining an organized phalanx-style gunwall. If each bee was equipped with a rifle, a thousand rifles could exist in a few square feet of devastation; but it was better to keep them relatively spread out. A hundred here, fifty there, each cluster marked for a particular distance away from the controller, a directional orientation, and everything else a mass-incursion of harrier jets would want.

They were effectively set up to be a defensive army surrounding “the controller”, which would ultimately end up being Trisha.

”Now, I’m not a super good teacher when it comes to stuff like this. Gin’s always around, we can ask her how to do something… But, I kind of figured that you’d want to just, y’know, monkey around with the program before we went super hard into getting the bees themselves equipped…”

Telling her about all of this was far easier than telling her about how he’d struggled trying to get even that example together without asking anyone for help. He didn’t think he could deal with Gin’s extra prodding or joking around in that moment.

“Wow." Trisha breathed out, wide eyes switching to a squint as she leaned in to read the document. The interface itself didn't seem that difficult, especially as someone who was used to coding. It took her a bit longer to figure out what the example was meant to do, since she didn't really know military formations. She could picture what was written, but the actual setup and why took a little bit longer.

“Mhm… It probably makes sense for me to play around and figure out which of the input commands I'll really need. It'll take a while to get them all registered." As she spoke she fiddled around, managing to find the pre-made list of commands. It was a lot, because they'd need to be strung together. She was sure she could adjust to put in more specific, longer commands, seeing as often her pheromones blended together in a way that made it difficult for her to parse out each individual bit.

She'd have to try, though.
“Most important first, I guess. I… Don't really know formations or battle plans. I always reacted in the moment to whatever was happening, so I'm not even sure where to start there. I guess your one’s a good start." She pointed to the screen with a smile.
“I’ve never thought of placing them like that. I guess it would be quite hard for me to do in the moment… But I'll need a lot of help figuring out the actual plans, even if I can get them into the software myself. I guess that's why we'll be working together?"

It was relatively easy to lose herself in the work. It was one thing she could do no matter her mood, aside from the depressive periods post university.

Casey nodded.
”At first, I was a little confused too. Then I stopped thinking about the individual bees, or the whole group. Rather, pockets of them essentially equal people. So, you don’t treat a hundred bees like they’re a hundred bees. You cluster them up, and you treat them like, essentially, a dude. A dude who's immune to, like, most forms of combat. Can’t punch the bees, can’t shoot the bees really. Can’t grab the bees- You’d need area of effect, essentially. Stuff that catches and blasts a bunch of bees at once. But, they’re pretty good about that too. We can make a protocol for splitting them up more and more.”

He’d mostly imagined what one could do with a squad of bodyguards if they could float, or become relatively invisible. There were plenty more chances and possibilities, however. Like good ambushes. A hive full of bees with automatic rifles just hanging out in a single tree was a horrifying prospect.

”I figured we’d spend the time now just attuning the system like Gin told me to do. Which will probably be pretty good practice for you using active pheromones, right?”

Trisha laughed softly when Casey suggested treating them like people. It made sense for him, who was more used to commanding people like that… But for her it had always been the bees. Unless she went and read a bunch of books about war strategies that she then had to translate and implement, thinking about them as people didn't help her with what kind formations she needed.

But what he was saying made sense when it came to the bees' uses. Most of their deaths in the past had come from large attacks. One or two getting caught by a hand was nothing.

“Yeah, it'll be good practice. Might take me a few tries for the commands I don't use as often… I might need to test it first before putting it into the system. I don't want to use the wrong pheromone, and then have that used incorrectly in the future." She tilted her head, checking if her earlier panic attack had called any more bees into the house. Thankfully not, there only seemed to be a group of about fifty.

“I’ll get a small group down so I can check each one. I think I closed the Den window, but I'm not sure. I don't want to accidentally call a whole swarm while inputting that kind of command… Again. At least if all the windows are closed they'll just swarm the glass."

As he was standing, it made the most sense for Casey to go check if the window was open. Usually, or at least recently, he would’ve taken a few long backsteps before making for the door to look inside. But, being so hyperaware of what the right thing to do was, Casey was now prone to making basic mistakes and poor decisions. Choices like breaking off immediately and turning to look into the Den, rather than making sure that he was keeping her fully in mind…

They couldn’t live like that. He couldn’t be so actively wrapped up in protecting her. His back had to be a normal image, because his front would be. He had intentions of forever… At least the window was closed, so he didn’t have to disappear fully.

”Yep, all good, Babe. Should I get you a sweater? I mean, I guess they won’t sting you even if they’re mad.” he asked aloud, half trying to fill the dead air between them.

“They’d only sting me if I asked them too." She responded, not seeming any worse for having seen his back. Not because there wasn't that irrational, immediate fear response… But she was doing her best not to let it get to her. The base level anxiety was bearable, she didn't want it to jump above that.

Though she wasn't so great at actually rationalising and dealing with feelings, so much as just suppressing them. She wasn't really in the right state to think about it.

“They shouldn't get mad, but maybe we should set up a mini target. Some of the commands are to attack, and if I give it aimlessly when practicing they'll get confused. I'm not sure what they'll go for." Normally she'd be confident it wouldn't be Casey, with how soaked in her pheromones he was. But the more on edge she was, the more on edge the bees were, which pushed them towards treating everything like a threat.

“There’s a small enough number in here we really should be fine." She continued as she carefully called for them. About ten had been on the plants above them, lazily dripping down, while the rest meandered in the Den until she called for them.

At least inputting that command would be easy. She found it, before looking at Casey with a slight frown.
“How do I actually attune it? Just blast it with my magic?"

As Casey got back to her side, he let his hand down to hold hers against the mouse before bringing her back out into the main menu.

”That section that says ‘Calibration and Attunement’ is a good place to start.” he joked, letting her navigate to it and open it up. There was a gentle click, then a whizz in the computer before a little slot opened up on the right side of the monitor.

”When you go in, it’ll pop the reader open. But it doesn’t activate until you-”
He pointed at the screen, specifically at the word “edit” like it was any other document. The drop-down menu held smaller sections like “Signal Trigger”, “Ammunition Pool”, and “Targeting Matrix”.
”-click on the stuff having to do with signals.”

Clicking the button in the edit tab brought a box up to ask her if she was entering a new trigger, or if she wanted to edit an existing one.

”I only set up the examples based on what I figured people would be useful doing. There’s also, uh, if you just click on new?-”
The screen then made the distinction of asking if she was adding a new solo trigger, or if she wanted to upload a “trigger string.”
”-Gin obviously didn’t know what terminology to go with… But you can essentially upload whole prompts? And, I guess, if you’ve already taken the time to input the individual pheromone triggers, the software will actually detect and map out the prompt based on the signals it can match in the computer. If that makes sense… It’s kind of like automating the process when you’ve got a bunch of time and effort into it.”

Trisha nodded. It did make sense… it didn't seem too difficult, outside of the initial effort of going through all her pheromones and uploading them. There'd probably be some snags there when she had to start thinking about it, because some of that had come naturally to her. But it was work she was willing to do. Anything, really, so that she'd be a bit more useful when they had to actually fight again.

“Automated after I upload everything and train a bunch of bees to get into a specific box." She nodded, selecting a solo trigger. This one was relatively easy… Since it would come through harnesses to a specific bee, she didn't need to worry about calling a specific number for the attunement. After naming it, the screen informed them that the reader was active.

The command had all fifty of the bees she'd already called, in various rest spots across the counter, buzzing towards her again with some amount of confusion. They landed all over her this time, a few rubbing their fuzzy faces and butts on her face. She giggled as she gently moved them to less annoying places on her.

It was smart how it just seemed to register it. Magic, she guessed. As she thought about it more her expression changed, looking towards Casey with some amount of concern.

“Can anyone use this? I know it's not likely, but if someone… stole it or wrestled it away from me, would they be able to command my bees? I know I could manually override them-" What a technical term for her normal pheromones use- “but it'd still confuse them."

He shook his head.
”Your magic should be the only magic that interacts with it without prompting any kind of security protocol. And too much magical exposure without confirmation will melt it down, so… It’s yours. As yours as something can be. I’d be more worried about someone magically overriding my enchantments on the harnesses. As soon as the connection to the system breaks, all my enchants are meant to overload the battery core in each unit. Essentially, they turn into grenades. They’ve got just enough time that whatever bees were harnessed will hopefully have made it out of the explosion.”

They’d thought a lot about that… And that was one of the first systems that Gin had him implement. The connection between the magic and the physical was the hardest to pull off, and he had seriously complex magic being used on the box with all the harnesses. The fact that it was essentially a bee armory, and that each of them could have thousands of real dollars worth of equipment, meant that it was important to keep it all not just secure, but proprietary.

”But, there’s a not-zero chance they don’t. It’s a system that still needs to get stress-tested, to see how much play there is between a security breach and the actual function that follows. If we had a Purple Adept working with us, then the framework for the harness to teleport the bee wearing it back to the box before it detonates would be an option… But, with nobody to assist with the magical application, it’s a stretch.” he continued to explain.

Trisha took a shaky breath, nodding. Obviously she didn't want any of her bees to become living explosions, but there was always going to be a risk to them. She just had to think about the logistics on her end to get the bees out on time.

“Is there a way to make sure they give out a specific pheromone when the connection is broken, or does that depend too much on the system?" she nibbled her lip, thinking of the worst case scenario. Some strong Orange Adept who overrode all of the harnesses, turning them into grenades. No, if it was all of them, she could send a mass command if she reacted in time… If it was staggered? That would be more difficult. If any got caught in the blast, it would momentarily impair her thinking, making it more difficult to get the others out. The more dead, the more difficult it got.

“If it can't, I'll have to practice quick escapes with them… From whatever they're wearing specifically. I'm used to getting them out of magical attacks where possible, and they're somewhat attuned to it too. A fireball coming towards them is hot and dangerous no matter what, so they sense it. This would be all on me, because they won't know until it's too late."

Casey had already thought about what she was asking, and had left room for a drop-switch just like that.
”We can make that happen! It’s a good idea, Babe. Would you want it to just be a harsh burst? Does that affect their reaction time if it’s a much more concentrated chemical? We can probably figure out a way to match the scent of the expanding battery core with the flee pheromone, too. So it’ll work as an analogue failsafe should all else go to shit.” he nodded, patting her on the shoulder in a gentle confirmation.

”Though, just… Don’t get too hung up on this stuff. It’s all implying that something happens where you lose access to the main unit, which you shouldn’t ever. Because it’s meant to run and function remotely… So we can keep it in a safe place until we need to make adjustments. All you’ll need to do is work on a command that lets them know it’s time to go to war.” he finished, hoping that she wouldn’t be terribly worried about the remote possibility of her bees exploding for seemingly no reason.

“I’d rather be prepared than just ignore it. I don't think that's me getting hung up on it." She responded evenly. She was worried about it, obviously, but she was worried about all of it. It was the difficult thing about her abstraction being so strongly connected to her bees. She loved them, but they were also her first line of defence. Other lives that she was sacrificing for her own… It would be easier if she didn't have to risk them every time.

When she had the time, she'd have to try and look into the information unrelated to the bees themselves. Maybe there was a way for her to get stronger so she was less reliant on them.

“Their reaction time is affected by my emotions, so I imagine it being more concentrated might simulate it. I can probably even emulate my own stress if it's a recorded pheromone, if I work myself up enough." She shrugged one shoulder. Though that probably wasn't so sensible now.

“I know it's unlikely it'll happen and they’ll be at risk either way." She continued, reaching out to run a finger down one bee's back.
“As long as there's failsafes… What do you mean by a command like that? One that I put out to activate the preset ones on the computer? Or- Oh, it's probably something I can start from my phone or a smaller device, isn't it? Having it depend on my pheromones to start would be odd."

”Why… Would that be odd?” Casey asked calmly, looking at her as if he’d done something wrong.

The way he and Gin figured, that was the only way to get things started.

”The box also knows and reproduces the command pheromones. So, we figured as long as there was something to detect that you were making a signal, it could be activated remotely! Hence-”

He slid a small box across the island counter. It was rectangular. Very clearly a jewelry box, but unclear as to whether it was a necklace, or something with a band like a bangle.

”-we figured that it had to be stuff you wouldn’t mind wearing all the time. I know, I must look like some wannabe rich asshole handing you jewelry all the time… But this is one of the last ones for now, I promise.” he did his best to smile down at her.

“O-oh, it's fine, you don't look like that! I already told you it's empty gifts I don't like… but I know it's not like that. It's practical, anyway, and- and the last time was my ring. That really doesn't make you look like an asshole. I'm happy to wear anything from you!" She stammered a bit in her attempt to anxiously comfort him, managing to push the crawling panic down to smile back at him. She slowly reached out for the jewellery box, but didn't actually open it.

“I assumed a simple app with some button I press would be easier for Gin to do… Odd was the wrong word, I meant odd because it seemed hard." She backtracked to the other source of anxiety. She didn't want him thinking they'd gone about it wrong. She'd genuinely thought it being triggered by her pheromones would be near impossible if they had the computer somewhere safe… not even thinking about how much magic had gone into making that in the first place.

“I didn't even think of another sensor. Kinda silly, huh, with all of this magical equipment? It seems much safer… And faster. It makes sense now that I understand… Thank you for setting it up like that for me. And for the jewellery."

”You… Like it? Y’gotta open it to know…” he replied very simply, not wanting to seem too pushy.

”It wasn’t super hard to figure out once we knew we could accurately transfer the chemical composition of the pheromones from one sensor to another. Next time we see Gin, you can ask her about the smelly telephone game she was playing if you want. She’d be happy to tell you, I bet; she’s just as happy with the thing as I am… And I learned a lot about computer hardware and software. More about hardware, and about enchanting it to do funny things.”

The entire process of getting the beequipment up and running really put his own hobbies and interests into perspective. The idea that all that made up a gun, in a factual sense, were some precision milled metal bits strapped to a polymer handle with a tube, made it all seem so last century.

”Like, I didn’t know about quantum processing until Gin told me about it as a possibility for running machines as small as the harnesses. Now, I know enough to know that I’ll never understand it. So, that was cool…” he grinned, laughing a little bit.

“I don’t think many people can understand quantum processing. Gin, maybe Cass… ” Trisha smiled in response. It was the kind of conceptual science far beyond her understanding. The mathematics had interested her, but she could barely begin to wrap her head around the simplest parts of it.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it. Maybe one day we can make a dream computer team, you do the hardware and I’ll do the software. Then I won’t have to deal with Cass trying to tear my whole computer apart every time I want something upgraded. You can just enchant it to be better.” She joked lightly, still smiling at him before turning her head towards the jewellery box in her hands.

She was a little nervous about it. She was sure she’d like it, because was preparing to school her expression just in case. As long as it wasn’t gaudy, or something studded in diamonds. The worry only came because he said about looking like a wannabe rich asshole.

But she opened it to reveal a simple enough design, a bracelet made up of pearl sized beads. Each bead had a jet black base, with varieties of golden-yellow to amber swirling through it. As she picked it up she could feel the smoothness inherent in gemstones smoothed down to beads. It wasn’t plastic or anything cheap… But it wasn’t over the top either. It was pretty, and the kind of thing she could easily wear

“It’s really nice, Casey. Thank you. I definitely like it.” She smiled, hesitating a moment before leaning up to kiss his cheek.

Casey was rather impressed with the piece himself. He hadn’t actually looked at it in the box, instead trusting Gin to do what she did best: Overdesign.

”Each sphere’s a part, basically a hardware component of the uh… Well, it’s essentially a functioning device besides the aesthetic appeal. It’s your controller. Reads your pheromones, digitizes it, then sends it to the receivers: Mostly to turn it all on, hence why I mentioned you’ll need to determine a master signal.” he explained happily, moving around her to gently take her hand.

Holding her arm, he pulled the bracelet from its package and wrapped it around her wrist. As he did, there was a very clear signal crawling up between her ring and the new piece, causing it to jostle slightly upon her wrist before locking into place. It wasn’t tight; just stiff. Like it was in on mode.

”As a failsafe, I made sure it went to Nana first, so she could signal-lock it with the ring. Basically, even if someone got ahold of your controller, and could reproduce your pheromones, it still has to search for your ring. Like a car key-fob, as opposed to an analogue key.”

The screen reacted as well, a notification sliding up from the bottom left hand corner that read “Master Unit Active.” Overall, he found it to be an ingenious system that was just another little miracle in their lives… All thanks to the power of magic itself. As she got the chance to admire it on her own wrist, Casey’s arms wrapped around her waist.

”And… I’m sorry too. Obviously the jewelry isn’t a bandage. Neither is pretending. But, we’re both… Doing good? Right?” he asked calmly, his forehead bumping gently into the back of her head.

Good wasn't quite how Trisha would describe herself right now. Managing- even managing to enjoy herself- but not good. Not when her anxiety was just beneath the surface. Today she could cope with. Tomorrow too. But a whole month of pretending? It wasn't going to be difficult without having panic attacks whenever she was alone and could let it out.

But she'd do it for Casey if it's what he wanted… At least she got to be with him. She loved being with him, and the increased anxiety didn't change that right now.

“Yeah, we're both doing good." Trisha agreed, calmly enough that it would only register as a lie if Casey used magical detection on her. She tried not to brace herself for the inevitable ‘I told you so.’

She leaned back into him, closing her eyes for a moment and letting the warmth of his arms around her comfort her. Maybe he really would be able to manage all month, until he felt better. Maybe things would feel a bit different, but it wouldn't escalate to fights like earlier. She should trust him.

“I accept your apology too…" She said softly.
“I’m glad the bracelet isn't a bandage… nice as it is, you know how I feel about gifts to smooth things over. But obviously it isn't, since you already had it, but this is much better anyway."

She meant the hug, leaning deeper into it. She didn't want him to think she was suddenly put off the bracelet at the thought it might be some kind of bandage or apology gift. She knew it wasn't.

“It’s really impressive. Not just that it'll detect my pheromones and connects to the system… That you sent it to Sylvie to get it linked to my ring too. I really appreciate everything you've done for me here. In general too, even all the little things… You make my life better in a lot of ways, you probably don't even realise it." That was all true, said with more solemn calmness than the normal sweet and cute delivery she gave him. She wanted to make sure he knew that, really knew that, not just her trying to get through when they were fighting. Especially with what he said about her being stuck with him.

”I know, Honey Bee.” Casey said simply, acknowledging her genuine feelings.

Of course, she was probably incredibly antsy to say whatever she thought would keep him tethered. Anything to get him to stay. It was a little heartbreaking, because she really was his everything. It was just the unbroken trauma chain, the issues made by issues born of older issues still, that made independence a near impossibility.

Still, he was self aware. At least enough that Trisha’s logic behind her love was an open book.

”I… Wish you wouldn’t talk about it like it's a passing thing. What I do for you, that is… I’m here. So are you. Committed. Dedicated. I love you.”

It did feel a bit like she was constantly teetering toward throwing herself out. It made him even more regretful that he had let this happen to begin with. How could he have lost his strength? How could he have floundered in front of her, and let her see that weakness in turn?

”I swear, Trisha…” he added, holding her just a little tighter.

Trisha tried not to reactively tense, forcing herself to take a deep breath. She twisted herself, doing her best to turn in his tight hold so that she could face him.

“I didn't mean it like that." She said softly.
“I don't think that it's a passing thing. I know you're not just going to stop doing things for me… You won't wake up tomorrow and stop. I just wanted you to know I appreciate everything you've done, but I didn't mean it like it was only a past thing."

She bit her lip trying to not get too anxious about a misunderstanding. Of course she was worried about him leaving. She felt like every argument or ugly little truth about herself that came out would be the last one. But she at least had enough faith in Casey that he'd just break up with her. As terrifying as the prospect was, it was better than a future where he lost his love for her and stopped doing all of those little things for her…

Maybe she did think it was a passing thing, deep down. It was hard to believe the novelty wouldn't wear off. Because eventually she'd become too much, and the love she brought wouldn't be enough to outweigh the arguments and her heavy anxieties. But she really hadn't meant to talk about it like it was in that moment.

She managed to twist around enough so she could properly bury herself into his arms.
“I love you too… I'm always anxious, but I'm really not always thinking you're about to leave me. I promise. I know you love me… I don't want you to think I'm questioning that either."

”I’m… Just worried that one day you’ll have questions. Ones I won’t have an answer for. I’m worried about detaching. And about what it’ll do to you. The good months are easy. But, having the feeling that I didn’t want to be around you? Even for a few minutes?”

He hadn’t exactly intended for the admission to slip out there. But this was tender. They weren’t keyed up for an argument. This was what she’d wanted. He wanted to talk about it how it made sense for him. Which, ultimately, didn’t make any sense in the context of the situation; but Casey was far too removed to worry about that now.

”But I don’t know how to fix it. The shrink said I’m good about it… That knowing the feelings are just feelings is enough, and that so long as I hold my word to things, then even if I’m struggling to maintain the connection, it should be enough to not hurt others over it. But, I still don’t know how healthy that is, and I know I’m not supposed to feel like a failure for struggling… But, knowing how sensitive you are? It’s extra pressure… To not crack. To not buckle. I’ve gotta trust you’ll deal with it. I know you will. Like, y’know, I know we have plans this weekend. I’ll be there. And you’ve gotta know that I don’t wanna be: Not because I don’t love you, or don’t love spending time with you… I just… Everything burns. It all burns, and it's all on fire. I don’t know how to stop that feeling.” he did his best to explain, still holding her tightly.

Trisha tucked her head down and into his chest so he didn't see her frown. She didn't want her immediate upset reaction to push him away and have him clam up again. Because she'd wanted him to talk to her, she just couldn't control her immediate reaction.

Because it hurt to hear that he hadn't wanted to be around her, even if it really had just been for a few minutes like he said. It was exactly the kind of thing that she was worried about. Because if it was a few minutes now, wouldn't it be longer next time? Until eventually he never wanted to be around her? But she couldn't let that panic control her. She'd told him it was something she had to push through so that she'd actually get over it.

She didn't really believe she'd be able to get over it like that, but she knew that she could ignore it for him. It wasn't about her right now, anyway. She could push down the panic and let it out in the small moments she had alone.

“I will deal with it. I promise, I can." Trisha responded with genuine conviction. Would dealing with it be in a healthy way? Probably not. But it wasn't like it would be the first time she managed to push everything down to prioritise someone else. Just this time, there'd be a light at the end of the tunnel. Future good months… As long as there were future good months, she could do that for him.

Even if she didn't entirely understand how he was feeling, she could figure out enough from how he described it. She didn't have any similar feelings of her own to relate to, but she shouldn't have to. It just sounded difficult.

“I don't want you to feel more pressure or like a failure because of me. Like I said earlier… It's not just about me. Me having issues doesn't suddenly mean yours don't matter. I don't want you forcing yourself to things either. I can go alone, I'll deal with making any excuses. I'm used to going to things like that alone-" That maybe wasn't the right thing to say if she didn't want him feeling guilty about it. But at the end of the day, Cass was her friend. All of the big things happening this weekend were because of Trisha's friends. Trisha should be able to deal with it.

“I don't know how else I can help. I don't really understand what that feeling's like… and I don't know if I can help you not detach. I don't imagine so? Not without making things worse… But I can do something like that."

Rapidly grappling with the cognitive dissonance of her feelings was, if nothing else, fun. It was a sick, twisted little hopping sensation in the pit of his stomach. It wasn’t the same one he got before combat, where he knew there was going to be physical danger. Frankly, even he couldn’t explain it. All he could do was feel it, and hope that it was the key to working through this. Maybe he’d be able to muster the feeling again some day, and it’d carry him through to the next calm shore.

So you don’t want me to feel pressure, then you’re gonna say some sad shit about being used to doing things alone?

It may’ve been too much for a lesser person. He could see it now. Why she wasn’t so much a unicorn as she was a silkie. But, there was a reason they were so good at drowning people.

”I’m sure you could, but you know I can do the same. It’s more like… Well, uh… When we were yelling, you mentioned the truth not mattering. It does. It always will. So, the truth is that, just like I’ve gotta have a lot of faith that you’ll get used to our relationship over time, I’ve gotta have a lot of faith in myself, that as time passes, this feeling will have exceptions. Because, you’ve gotta understand-”

He pulled her out just enough to look down at her without filling her face with his hair.

”-that, had it been someone else? Not you? I’d still have this feeling. I’d still be this way. And I’ve never been with anyone else. I literally don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s only one thing that I can sincerely look at and steady myself… And, right now, it’s not technically you. It’s… Lynette. Her plan. And… And that disgusts me… But, I know that if her grasp of the future is as good as she makes it seem, then there’s no way we’re not still together then. There’s no way this doesn’t work… Because if we have a kid? There’s… I just can’t imagine a future where that’s the case, and we’re not together. I wouldn’t ever leave. I’d never, never ever.”

He looked very sad. Incredibly so. Like he’d just crushed a few hundred bees under the mass of his body. It’d been so deeply emotional, that first night… He could see how he’d still been on the upward trend at that point. Early November had been easiest. Some could’ve called it manic. He organized a lot, and got a lot done. Thanks to her. That motivation. What else could he do besides be honest, and show her that it mattered, rather than just telling her.
Besides, she couldn’t stop herself from making him feel guilty: Why should he not indulge himself in a bit of emotional psyche-bombing.

Trisha slipped her hands up from where they were squashed between them to caress his face, unable to do anything but look reactively upset and concerned while gathering her thoughts.

Seeing him so sad made her chest feel tight, little panicked feelings rising towards the surface. She didn't want him to feel that way because of her… Because she still thought that he might leave her. Believed it was more likely than it wasn't. Obviously that would hurt him, just like that thought that he didn't want to be around hurt her. It didn't matter that part of his conviction came from a future Lynette had seen that Trisha struggled to believe in. Foresight was so outside of her reality, no matter how magically tinged it was.

Her own thoughts on that didn't matter right now. If he felt that sad about it, that meant he really loved her right now. He wanted that future, right.

“I- I know you wouldn't, if we have a kid together. I know, I really believe you, I don't think either of us would abandon the other like that." She managed to respond eventually, struggling with confirming something like that while being just honest enough. She couldn't lie and say she really believed they'd make it to there no matter what. He'd know it was a lie…

But she did believe his feelings towards her right now, even if that burning feeling he had was the most dominant.

“I’m worried that maybe there won't be exceptions. Not just because of my own anxiety… But wouldn't that mean I'm not the right one? I don't want you suffering forever." She continued, hands dropping from holding his face to grip his shoulders. She was doing her best to phrase it in a way that wasn't about her anxieties. She was worried she'd never get better too… But that wasn't the focus.

If she was never an exception, it wouldn't make her leave him. She'd cope and struggle no matter what. But was that really fair to him?

“I love you, and I really want that future with you, no matter how hard it is to get there. And I really, truly believe in your dedication towards me. I just…" She trailed off, eyes dropping down. What was she even trying to say? Wasn't she just making them go round in circles?
“I’ll try my best to have faith that future is real, and it'll work out. I know our feelings right now are real… And I don't want to make you feel like I don't. I… I believe that you'll never leave if you have the choice."

It was a white lie, sort of. In her mind, ‘if you have the choice’ included her pushing him to his breaking point… Then he wouldn't really have any choice but to leave, would he?

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Home

The night continued, with Trisha and Casey eventually rejoining the group. Just for a couple of hours before they started looking for opportunities to leave.

It wasn’t that hard in the end. While the party was meant to be to celebrate Sycamore, most people were just taking it as a time to be social and drink. Everyone was respectful- or maybe intimidated- enough to not crowd around the sole three Sycamites that were there. Occasionally someone Trisha didn’t know would pass by with congratulations, and Leon had his fair share of people talking to him, but there wasn't as much focus on her as she’d expected.

Which meant that nobody really stopped them from leaving. It was just the normal goodbyes from the normal people.

Thanks to Cass sucking most of the alcohol out of her system, Trisha was now just pleasantly tipsy. Enough left to feel that buzz, but able to think straight again. Not so drunk she couldn’t walk in a straight line like had been the case before they left… Though it didn’t change the way she leaned on Casey now that she could walk herself, or make her any less clingy in the cab home.

The alcohol had helped her get through the night, forcing the tension out of her, but she was glad to be home. Just stepping up onto the roof had her fully relaxing, regardless of the frigid temperatures. It didn’t feel so cold with Casey right next to her anyway.

As they got inside, Trisha paused before they could get too far into the main room. The natural inclination was to remove coats and go straight to the Den… But no, she had plans. She was going to see them through this time. They were both in a good mood. It was the time.

“Uh… Casey? Babe? Do you mind staying out here for a little bit?” She turned to him, asking with a bit more anxiousness than she wanted to.
“And… Closing your eyes. No magic sight either. Just… Five minutes?”

Casey had been far more liberal in his second helping of boozing. Still warm and toasty, he’d have a much harder time actually walking if it wasn’t for all the magic assistance. As it turned out, he did have a certain level of innate prescience thanks to the White Lux, though nowhere near as vivid as his Mother or Sister. Rather, all it was helping with was something like this. In his impaired state, walking became incredibly difficult without some kind of focus, or something to lean on. But, in bright flashes in his mind, he saw himself and Trisha six or seven paces ahead.

It could’ve even been his imagination putting things together, but the entire walk out to the cab, then up the Cannery had been spent staring at his much more sober back. It almost shamed him into adjusting himself, standing strong and straight for Trisha. He hoped she didn’t realize how drunk he was, but that was a pipedream as they got inside and he immediately became flushed in the warmth. Usually pale, Casey’s face looked something like a cherry tomato, or an angry fire truck.

”Honey… I don’t take magic shits, in spite of all the Lux.” he giggled, looking down at her.
”Where are you going? What do I do? I can’t… I can’t get on the comfy couch…”

Trisha pouted a little bit up at him. Maybe she should wait… He was obviously more drunk than she’d realised. It hadn’t been so noticeable when they were walking, and she’d only sobered up herself right before leaving.

“I’m just setting up something in the Den… I need to get some things from upstairs, and the kitchen. But it can wait if you really want to get on the comfy couch right now.”

He looked at her, eyes narrowing before a smile broke across his face.

”Go do it… But… I’m- The kitchen. Snack.”
Yet, he was oddly smug. Tapping his temple as if there was something going on in his poisoned mind. There was! He knew what he had to do… And he certainly wouldn’t be able to do it this drunk. That much was clear in his own mind.

Ah! She wants to have sex in the living room!

He leaned down, planting his lips against hers, hands climbing up to her face to hold her there a moment before pulling away.

”I love you, Trisha-Bee… I’ll only bee a minute. Get… The stuff. Upstairs? We’re up- Oh. Right.” he looked up at the loft, then back down at her.

”Race you!?”
And without waiting, he turned, spun his heels, and watched as the world turned into a trillion copies of itself until his head smashed against the hard wood of the island door as he tumbled over.

”Aaaaagh! F-ffffuck! I’m- I’m okay! I’m okay! I can make it!” he called out, starting to peel himself off the floor before opening one of the nearby cabinet doors and pulling out a packet of some other kind of Temple concoction… Though, when he ripped it open, Trisha could very clearly see it was the Green Stuff.

Key-Lime Panacea. Delicious, nutritious, and able to heal just about every ailment… Including alcohol poisoning.

”B-be right as rain in a sec…”

Trisha barely had a chance to react, left practically gaping at him from just a little bit more into the room than before. She’d moved forward as soon as he fell, obviously, but he was up and ripping into a magical healing pack within moments.

“What the fuck, Casey?” She covered her face, playfully whining more than sounding actually annoyed. It would have been amusing if he hadn’t smacked his head- again!- and crumpled to the floor. At least there was something to heal it…

But did he know what she was planning? He was acting like he knew. Had Cass told him? No, she didn’t know when Trisha was planning it- and Casey knew she had his ring, so he knew she’d be doing something to give it to him. Was it because of the failed attempt? It wasn’t like anything she’d set up was overly obvious. Maybe the chocolate strawberries then gave it away?!

But she didn’t know he knew for certain. He was drunk.

She shuffled over to him, taking his hand with both of her own.
“We’re not racing upstairs- well you already fell so obviously we’re not… But, we’re not doing it, because I need you to wait down here with your eyes closed. You still haven’t agreed to do that.”

At her request, his eyes closed as his legs splayed out across the floor and he pressed his back up against the cabinet. He could already feel everything draining from him, being replaced with this concoction before flushing out through gentle bursts of random Lux.

”I’m sorry! I love you- my eyes are closed. No magic shit, like you said. I swear, I like to keep my underwear clean.”

He bit his lip and giggled at his own joke.

Trisha shook her head with a soft laugh, more at the ridiculousness of what he said than finding the ‘joke’ actually funny. She leaned forward to press a light kiss against his forehead.

“I love you too. I won’t be long… I’ll call you when you can come through!”

There were soft footsteps, followed by the distinctive thudding of her going up into the loft. She spent enough time up there to have feasibly gotten changed, before audibly coming back down and doing her best to silently open the fridge and pull something out. Then it was into the Den, the door closed behind her.

Just like she’d said, it was only about five minutes before she gently pushed the door back open, calling out to him.
“Casey? You can come through now.”

Having had plenty of time to sober up, Casey had moved to a standing position with both hands leaning against the counter. When he heard her voice, he cleared his throat.
”Okay! But, I’m blind, so if I hit a wall just be patient.”

“You can open your eyes now… Please open your eyes.”

”Oh, good.” he laughed, opening his eyes and making his way down the hall to push into the destination.

The Den was warmly lit by LED candles dotted around the room, a fire video playing on the TV quietly to add to the lighting ambience. There was a platter of fruit on the little table corner of the couch, roughly arranged into a heart shape with honey drizzled over it. Right beside it was a bottle of very fancy looking wine- but not any of the bottles they’d been gifted when moving in.

It was less than Trisha had wanted to do, but she didn’t have the luxury of Casey being out for a Thanksgiving sermon like she had the last time. Obviously having him there was better, it just made setup harder.

Trisha herself stood on the couch, putting them at a more equal height. She had changed. She was wearing that same bee onesie she’d worn when they first met… Though it felt a little embarrassing now that he’d come through. But he’d said it was cute and he wanted to see her wear it again, and it was… meaningful, right?

Her hands were clasped together around something, and she nervously cleared her throat.

“I don’t have any fancy speech like you did. I’m sorry this took so long, I wanted to do it after Thanksgiving but-” She bit her lip, cutting herself off before she started rambling out apologies or bringing them back to that spot. Focus on the positive and the now.

“I really love you, Casey. I’ve never felt so safe with anyone before, or felt certain that there will be a future. It’s how I know you’re the one. You’re what I’ve been missing my whole life… And I can’t live without you anymore. I just really, really love you, so…” She swayed a bit, before getting down on one knee on the couch and holding out the box she’d been holding onto. It popped open to reveal his engagement ring.

“It’s my turn to ask… Casey, will you marry me?”

Casey had gotten the distinct feeling, once he’d sobered up, that his first thought wasn’t the right angle. But, being here and now, he was more thrilled than if it’d been something carnal. More emotionally affected by this than he was by the problems that had led up to this point. The ones that’d prevented her from doing this when she really wanted to. November had been incredibly difficult to stomach. And early December had already managed to be a mixed bag.

But none of it mattered right now. None of it mattered as Casey’s eyes climbed up the familiar shock of yellow and black to the face that stared back at him. The one that loved him, and who he loved in turn. She was everything. Absolutely everything. His face twisted slightly, a frown forming without his consent. It wasn’t disappointment, however. It was the struggle to keep from losing his head entirely.

He wanted to weep. He wanted to cry like a baby. He surged forward, collapsing her hands and the box into his chest as he curled around her and fell entirely into the couch with her clutched in his arms like the game winning pass.

”Of fucking course I’ll marry you! Yes! Yes!” he spoke loudly, all the emotion inside coming out in the voice. At first, he was definitely holding back the sobs. But at the second yes, it all came flooding out. The emotional confirmation became a cheer for joy and laughter, and for love. A lot of love.

”I’ll marry you, Trisha, and I’ll be the best fucking husband… And you’ll always feel that feeling! I’ll never let anything hurt you, or take you from me, or do anything to you that you don’t want! I’ll be your bastion and your palace; where you’ll always find safety, security and comfort therein! I swear, I swear! My wife! My wife…”

He was really weeping now, and quickly buried his face in her neck and collarbone as he held her tightly… And the sobs began in ernest.

Trisha managed to wriggle out one arm to cling to him, tilting her head to nuzzle into his hair. Whatever anxiety she'd felt over the proposal disappeared. Obviously she'd known he was going to say yes, because they were already engaged! He'd asked her! It was just all those silly thoughts of it not being enough, as if he was the kind of person to care about anything more than it being her…

“I know you're going to be the best husband… Because you're already the best fiance, and you were the best boyfriend before that." She cooed sweetly, letting him cry into her.
“I really trust and believe you… I can't wait to be your wife, and for you to be my husband. Even though it feels like we may as well already be married."

She giggled.
“And you're already so happy you're weeping over me… Are you going to cry like this at the actual wedding? I don't mind… Because I love you."

It made her feel a bit emotional, though not to the point of crying too. They'd come so far in only a month… And before Casey she'd never really believed she'd have something- or someone- like that. She'd always hoped she would, but it was difficult to think it could happen after so many times things didn't work out. None of them were the right person… And now she had him. They were going to get married. She really was going to live a happy life with her person.

“Do I get to see the ring on? You've had weeks looking at mine… I want to see yours. Because we're really engaged."

Casey scrambled in their little puddle, hands flapping around before sliding in between them to snag the box. He felt the ring’s warmth, and every bit of Lux therein. It sent a warm tickle up his spine, and he took a deep breath. He felt the little ring unhook itself, sliding over his knuckle until it felt it was right where it needed to be… Then it clamped tight. All at once, he felt his Grandmother’s stern and loving grasp holding his finger tight, and dragging his hand up in between them for Trisha to look at.

He looked at her, tears still in his eyes.
”It’s here! And it’s never gonna go anywhere!” he nodded, face beat red as he smiled through the tears.
”I’ll wear it long after my skin’s gone! All the skin, all the muscle… It’ll stay! Look!”

He immediately tried to take it off, and each time he did, there was a sharp humming whistle that echoed out from inside his hand as the ring absolutely railed against its own removal.

”You’ll always be with me, Baby… Always and forever, until the Hound ceases to chase the Deer across the plains beyond.”

Trisha smiled widely, squinting at the ring and then him with pure love and joy. There was a hint of tears in her eyes, unshed and adding to the gentle glow of her expression.
“If mine's the same, then you'll always be with me too. Maybe they'll dig us up in hundreds of years and figure out how in love we are… That's a bit morbid, isn't it?"

She giggled again, leaning forward to rub her nose against his. At the same time her left hand crossed her body to catch his, fingers lightly threading through his. The sight of both rings shining in the dim light made her feel incredibly happy. She loved him so much.

“They look so nice… I'm glad I was able to set everything up this time. Not that it's much… But I even got a bottle of wine from my share of dad's collection. I had Cass go get it so you didn't ask…" She smiled cutely at him, mixing bragging about the effort she'd gone to with making it clear she felt like she should've done more. Her cheeks flushed.
“I never expected to propose wearing this… But you said you hoped you'd see me in it again when we first met. It just felt right, if a bit embarrassing. You make me want to do things I wouldn't have before."

”It’s a family heirloom now. We can’t ruin it in any fashion… I’ll be sure to enchant it, so we know that one day we’ll be able to pass it along as a representation of the moment our lives changed. Together.”

Casey shifted them both so they were fully upright again. It was truly a wonderful moment to be alive in, and he was thrilled to be sharing it with the love of his life. Warm, with fizzy butterflies still whirling around in his guts, he made for the plate of fruit to pop some in his mouth. He held a piece up to feed Trisha too.

”I’m totally crazy over you. Leon said it too… I’m different. I know a lot of my concerns have shifted. But, to me, that doesn’t feel crazy. It just feels right y’know?” he admitted to her as he chomped the strawberry in one go.

Trisha hummed happily as she ate the fruit from his hand. She was glad it wasn’t just her. Obviously it wasn’t, obviously Casey loved her a lot… But she hadn’t known him before that. There were some people who were just like that. Like Cass. She’d do crazy shit for friends, nevermind partners.

“It’s the same for me. Obviously it isn’t crazy… Maybe to outsiders it is. But we’ve met our person. Obviously your concerns would shift… Mine have too. Maybe it doesn’t seem so drastic to other people, because I’ve always been looking for someone. But I wouldn’t normally move in with someone so early, or get engaged- but it’s different with you. Even if some of my friends think it’s normal Trisha behaviour… It’s not.” She smiled up at him.

She felt truly happy, and safe. Secure in a way she really never had before.

“I’m glad. Really glad we’re both crazy for each other. I’m even starting to… Accept that you’re not going to leave me.” She admitted, voice getting quieter.
“I know I already should, because it’s what you’ve shown me but… It’s slow. I’ve never gotten this far before. Really believing that someone will stay.”

Casey took a deep breath, the smile on his face getting even bigger.
”Do me a favor… Sit there, and don’t get nervous. I can’t wait for you to find out naturally. I’m too impatient.”

Without letting her ask what was happening, he placed the plate down and stood up. Clearing his throat, Casey put up his finger, telling Trisha to hold on without words. Tricking the ring was easy, because it had such a hair trigger.

”Trisha!?-” he said loud enough for the ring to hear.
”-I demand a divo-”

As if on a hard metal line attached to a fighter jet, Casey’s hand shot up to his face and absolutely mashed him in the jaw. It wasn’t a little force either; it dragged his arm hard enough into his face that he saw the stars in the sky through the floor. Reeling, he regained his composure enough to do the walk-away test.

Spinning, still pretending to be upset for the ring, he spun on his heel and tried to walk away toward the door. But the ring’s attraction activated, dragging both his arm and Trisha’s up and toward one another. It practically locked Casey to one spot, his arm being ripped back toward Trisha like there was a massive beast tugging a rope around his wrist.

”Ah! AH! FUCK, ALRIGHT NEVERMIND! WE’RE WORKING IT OUT!”

Both rings settled, and Casey took a long, deep breath before moving back toward Trisha.
”See? Not a chance in Hell we’re getting away from one another. I’ll never ever ever fucking leave you. Ever!”

Trisha reached out for Casey’s hands, looking concerned over the whole punching himself in the face then getting his arm literally twisted thing. He seemed fine, but that didn’t make her any less worried, making sure to take a good look at his face before letting out a breath and nodding.

“I believe you… If you chose to put the ring on knowing it’d do that, you really must not want to. It’d be a little terrifying if I didn’t know I’m never going to want to…” She trailed off, voice lowering to a whisper in case the rings were trigger happy.
“Divorce you.”

It probably should worry her a little bit, since she hadn’t exactly been told before putting her own ring on… But the security from it outweighed any doubts. The little sick, overly possessive part was glad he was magically stuck with her. And her love for him was overwhelming enough that it didn’t really matter in the end.

“How sensitive is it? Will you be somewhere completely different, get upset, try to walk away and get dragged in my general direction? Or is it only triggered by certain words?” She asked with earnest curiosity, looking at her own ring snuggly fit on her finger. As she looked at the green gems gently shining in the dim light, an actually nerve-wracking thought appeared.

“I won’t be able to run away from fights anymore, will I?”
Maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.

”Please… The spell is as old as my family. It wasn’t made to keep two people together. It was meant to keep one loyal and honest with the other. Nana wouldn’t saddle yours with the same impulse. Just… Don’t mention Divorce like you mean it. It may still hit you.” Casey laughed as he truly settled back down, taking Trisha in his arms again.

”Maybe it’ll try to remind you that you should be working things out, but yours will never be as aggressive.”

He put their fingers together, letting the rings touch fully. They actually vibrated whenever they met, indicating that they were bound together by a set of enchantments.

“I see… Some I’m allowed to leave, but you aren’t.” Trisha teased, smiling playfully at him. The gentle vibration from the rings touching was strange, and she couldn’t help but play around with it a little. Playfully wriggling her fingers against his, letting the rings tap just to feel it.

It was nice having them magically connected like that. Another layer of meaning on top of rings that already tied them together.

“Good thing I don’t ever plan to even think about Divorce, nevermind say it like that. I only want to marry someone I’m confident I’ll never want to leave. That’s you, obviously.” She giggled, twisting in his arms so she could cuddle him back.

It was part of why she was happy to wait for the wedding. She was already confident that Casey was the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, but it was better not to rush into something legal like that. Because if something really happened… She wasn’t sure if she could come back from it. Though, even if they weren’t married, it would be difficult to move on from this ever. Hopefully she wouldn’t have to.

“It’s not because I’m against it with other people or anything… I’m glad my parents got divorced. I wished they didn’t and imagined how much better things would be, but I know they would’ve been worse. I never wanted to be like that. I know I’m sort of like them… Because I rush into relationships. But never marriage. That’s only for when I know it’s the one.” She admitted, still tipsy enough to feel more open and giddy on happiness that it all flowed out. Unnecessarily, maybe, but it felt nice to just talk about her thoughts.

“Once I marry someone- once I marry you- I know I'll never want to let go.”

”Then don’t let go of me. And I’ll do the same. Forever and ever, and again the next time around. We’ll renew our vows as children playing on the playground. Pretending we’ll have a life. And we’ll grow together, and we’ll both be strong. Because now that we’ve found one another, Fate will always hold us together. Just like these rings.”

Which was the true meaning of the enchantment. It was a gentle reminder to a Crusader, that his betrothed remained home and unharmed. That a world waited for him. Now, it was just his Grandmother’s way of maintaining some vague control over the affairs of her progeny. A not-so-gentle reminder that they were still Catholics, and still very much against divorce. He wondered if his Mother’s and Father’s rings were like that… If Lynette had to be surreptitious in order to not trigger the notifier that something had happened to him. Not that it was a thought he really wanted right now, so he pushed it out as best he could.

”I’m glad you did this now… In a couple weeks, it probably would’ve been a lot more awkward.”

“Because of what's going to happen with Lynette?" Trisha asked, tilting her head slightly. She assumed that was why, rather than anything between them. If things were in a state of chaos for the Temple like that… It would be more awkward.

“I didn't want to wait anyway. I'd planned to do it the same day you proposed to me… I want us both to have rings, I just also wanted to give you a proposal. It's only fair we both know how loved we are."

”Right, exactly. Well… that part is definitely new. Even Nana was confused when I mentioned it to her. But, still; if you put it that way, there’s no chance I can be anything but grateful. Thank you… For wanting to make me feel just as special as I want to make you feel.”

That had always been a worry of his: That he’d be totally forced into a relationship in the position of “provider”. Not just monetarily, but emotionally as well. Like his Father… He’d seen his Mother be so cold. So terrible. He could only imagine that was what marriage was supposed to look like in private. That nothing was ever supposed to be “good enough”. Because if it was, it’d get boring, or mundane. Lynette had always told him that he was meant for great struggles. But the struggle of love was fearsome.

Thank God and all the Ancients that it wasn’t something to be afraid of with her.

”I love you so much, my pretty little Trisha-Bee.”

“I love you too, Casey. Thank you for being everything I need and more." She practically beamed up at him, before leaning up to kiss him. It was long but soft and gentle, as if she could only truly convey the depth of her love that way.

As she pulled back she was still smiling, eyes narrowed in contented happiness.

But she couldn't help but ask one little question on her mind. Not such an important one, but she was curious anyway.
“Did you know that I was going to propose? Obviously you knew I wanted to, but I mean tonight? When I asked you to wait you acted like you'd figured it out… Had you guessed?"

Casey immediately broke into laughter.
”What!? No, I… No, Babe. Honestly, I… Well, I honestly was still super drunk. You knew that. Uh, my first thought was that you had something kinky in mind. It wasn’t ‘till I sobered up that I remembered this was also an option. I heard you rummaging around in the fridge and thought ’Okay this is gonna get freaky.’ But, this is much better. You, the cute ass bee onesie, some fruit… Expensive ass wine if we want it. And, after what I said about passing the costume down? There’s no way we could ever sully it like that.” he grinned at her, giggling like a teen.

Trisha stared back at him for a moment, before giggling uncontrollably. She shook her head, pressing her face into his shoulder.

He'd thought it was something kinky?! Sure, he'd been drunk, but it was still quite the crazy leap. Especially since it wasn't like she'd ever been secretive about what she was and wasn't into… Or when she wanted it. It also generally wouldn't be her first go to as a nice surprise for him!

“Really? I knew you were really drunk but I- That's just so silly." She managed to stop laughing enough to talk, pulling her head back up to look at him.

“So drunk you was expecting to… I don't know, walk in here to me naked and covered in honey or something?! Oh my God- I mean that would be ridiculous to go through all that for. There's no fun in it if you're not involved the whole way- not that I'm really into that… Good to know where you drink mind goes!" She was hit by another fit of giggle, grinning brightly at him. It was just so funny to her that was what he jumped to.

“I am wearing nice underwear under this… but that's cause I normally wear nice underwear, and I'd overheat if I wore clothes underneath. So you're safe from any of the scenarios you drunkenly thought up. The onesie's safe too."

Casey raised his eyebrows, waggling them playfully back at her.
”Oh, good. Such a tease, Trisha.”

His hand came up between the two of them, finger extending to boop her on the nose with a gentle smile.

”Then I guess it’s a choose your own adventure game. I think I’ll start by finishing the strawberries. Care for some yourself, my Love?”

---

Wednesday December 13th.
The Greenhouse

The next day, and the agreed to training session, came faster than Trisha would have liked.

At least they got to spend a nice evening together, relaxing and winding down towards a good night’s sleep. There wasn’t any insane rush to get up, as it was just Leon and Cass coming up whenever they were needed. So they did get to cuddle in bed for a bit before having breakfast together.

Which was nice, but had to end when they were both done eating. Trisha knew she had to train- and create more bees- starting today. She’d already lost over a week because of her depressive episode…

She insisted they wait outside beside the Greenhouse for Leon and Cass coming up, rather than inside their warm house. She didn’t want to risk Cass getting in there and it becoming more of a social thing. She’d end up wanting that too rather than the hard work involved in training. She was anxious about it. About working with Leon, mostly.

“Are you coming in with us, or going downstairs… To the range or something?” She turned to Casey to ask, trying to sound like she was alright with it either way. They hadn’t really discussed what he would be doing. She assumed most of his training involved guns, which couldn’t really be done in the Greenhouse with them.

“You won’t want to see Cass creating flesh for me, will you? I can always send her to another environment. Or maybe it’ll need to be fresh, so I’ll work with Leon then later… Make bees with Cass just the two of us. Then you can train with Cass?” She bit her lip, knowing they didn’t have much time alone before the chaotic duo would get there.
“That probably won’t work, will it? Just whatever you think’s best.”

Casey had gotten word from Gin that his latest special order was ready from manufacturing that same morning, the quick read after the ding being the thing that prompted Casey out of bed first. He was a bit excited- more so than he was trying to let on to Trisha. Surprises could be good, after all. And he’d been doing the math wherever he could fit it in. Initial tests he’d run with more basic level enchantments had already proven fairly effective. Thus, he’d known what to have his partners in Eden fiddle and tinker with as far as mechanical channels. These miniaturized marvels were his latest work of art, and if she was going to be training, he wanted her training with the whole system in mind.

Or, at least as far as she was comfortable. It could be fairly dangerous if there was a breakdown in one of the systems.

”Oh, don’t you worry. I’ve got plenty to work on inside. You’ve got a lot too, so once we reach a certain point, I’ve got Norm scheduled to bring lunch. We’ll be working hard, but I know that we’re basically gonna be gauging how long we work based on how long you’re able to keep it up. Hopefully we can get you locked into some kind of programmer mode: I hope what I have in mind is something you want to try working with.”

He didn’t look or sound proud of it, but inside he was bubbling with excitement. Because even if she didn’t want to use it, he knew someone else who would. As long as it worked how he envisioned, and his magic was strong enough to pull it all off, there was nothing that would be able to stop Trisha’s wrath. She’d be transformed into a walking war crime.

Trisha nodded slowly. She hoped she'd be able to get locked in like that too… She could feel her nerves already bubbling up into self pressure, so it was likely. But she was also worried her reactions to failure would be amplified as she got more into that pressured state. She wanted to get focused without ending up agitated.

“If it'll help us survive, I'll try it." She replied simply.
“Even if I don't get locked in like that, I'll do my best to push through any tiredness. I'm good at that too, and we don't have much time. I know I'm the weaker one, so I don't want to drag you down. Even if it doesn't happen naturally, I can force that kind of focus."

Something to be thankful for from all the years of hard studying that got her nowhere. But she didn't want to dwell on that- or really give Casey an opportunity to refute some of what she said.

“What do you have in mind? Or is that… a strange surprise? It's not bee guns, is it?" She hadn't exactly recognised his excitement over it, wrapped up in her own increasingly anxious and self pressuring state, but moving that topic to something that was his thing rather than her seemed like the best distraction.

As she mentioned the bee guns, Casey’s lower lip pouted up to cover the top, and his head tilted into a shy curve that took his gaze away from her.

”It may be the Buzzforce control panel and uh… Fifteen thousand units of Buzzforce equipment. Yes.” was his very simple reply before he did his best to redirect her.

”But, you’re not weak! You’re just not used to pushing like this! I seriously don’t want you feeling ashamed, or like you have to push yourself to some insane level where you wind up hurt. Seriously. If that ended up happening, I’m not sure what I’d do besides feel bad. So, seriously… That’s why I’ve set this up the way I have. It’s not all magical feeling bullshit. Its real technology, enhanced by magical power. That’s why I’ve got work to do beforehand. All the units need attuning to the actual control panel, or it’s all useless micro-hardware.”

Trisha didn't really agree with her not being weak- it felt more like laziness. Because she'd been able to push herself like this when she was fourteen and then lost it. But she didn't want Casey to feel bad… Him feeling bad would probably make her feel worse than any reaction to her failure. Probably. At least Casey probably wouldn't have too bad a reaction to that, so then it would just be Leon, and Casey was more important.

“I’ll try not to push myself too hard, then. You just might need to help stop me… I'm not great at regulating it." She admitted, shuffling closer to him to lean her body into his. She'd trained herself to push through discomfort and ignore her body's needs just for another hour of studying, so there was a chance it wouldn't even feel like pushing herself. Or she'd get into a state where she couldn't admit it was.

“How does it actually work? Do I need to equip the bees, then use the control panel, or do you-"

She was interrupted before she could press further by the door onto the roof slamming open- somehow.

"Triissshhhaaaa, Caaaasssseeeeyyy! How's the hangover, dude?! You were fucking smashed last night!" Cass practically bounded across the roof to them in no time. She had a big, square blue cooler bag slung over her shoulder that prevented her from doing her normal leaping hug. Or any hug at all. But she did shoot finger guns at Trisha with a grin.

"Ready to make some babies together, Babe?"

“Not if you're going to put it that way." Trisha retorted immediately, shuffling herself around to look at the invited intruders rather than just Casey.

Casey’s entire mind and body was ready to enthusiastically talk about the project, but the interruption took his wind out completely. Leon trailed behind Cass carrying several coolers slung over his back and front in some odd makeshift chain-

”Did you strap your coolers to a gimp harness?” Casey piped up getting a second look at his brother. The leather and chain harness did grip his lower body in an uncomfortably tight way, but Leon just furrowed his brow.

”A what?” he asked, managing to avoid sounding like there was any sort of attitude behind it.

Casey just stared slackjawed before clearing his throat.

”Whatever… What’s even in those, more meat?” Casey asked the both of them.

”Nope, it’s gas… Tell ‘em what we did once we got home, Babe.” Leon grinned, shuffling past the both of them, sticking his hand out to ruffle Cass’s hair slightly with a warm smile before moving toward the door to the greenhouse proper.

Trisha reactively tensed a little bit. She could guess what they'd done when they got home, and she didn't want to hear about it… what the fuck did that even have to do with Leon's strange cooler BDSM outfit.

"We cooked!" Cass shouted enthusiastically. Trisha immediately let out a sigh of relief when it turned out to not be something sexual.

"Well, I did most of the actual cooking… But I taught Lee how to cook a bit! He's a surprisingly good soux-chef." She grinned teasingly at him as she followed towards the Greenhouse. The sooner she dumped this back, the sooner she could hug Trisha, after all!

“You’d sobered up by then, right?" Trisha asked, also moving towards the door and pulling out her key. She slipped past Leon, turning it a few times to open the right environment.

It was one that felt normal enough for something like this. A forested environment with nice clearings here and there that didn't look too odd until you looked closely and realised the trees had faces, and none of the abundant flora was from this world.

"Fuck no! Cooking drunk is what makes it fun!"

”I wasn’t really drunk until just before you guys left! So, yeah, I was pretty well bent- I actually fucked up a knife, Lelou saved the fingers. Had an extra set Andrade bought one year, so I cracked ‘em bitches open. Cass was having a drunken fit- I guess they’re expensive or whatever.”

Walking in behind Trisha, Leon was starting to look for a comfortable spot to get settled down in when he realized where they were. What really did it was the whispering. How everything seemed to have some little piece of gossip that they were hiding just from you. He knew that Cass would be able to hear it if her senses were up like usual. But, he wondered if Trisha and Casey could hear.

The constant gnawing of the Fae Wilds.

The spirits utilized in the fertilization of this area was specifically made as close to a Bog of Malice as the biomancers could get. The ancient remnants of a Fairy battlefield between elves and gnomes, where the magics are strong and completely outside the realm of Lux and mortal men. Here, everything had energy to offer, and the honey was guaranteed to be rich with wild magic.

Leon had seen a place like this in their brief blitz excursions into other realms, finding places like this as nothing more than inhospitable jungles of death. He shuddered, knowing that there were no living entities here to accost them, not exactly helping him feel any better.

”Oooooh… Bad vibes. Yeesh. Well, better get used to this feeling.”

Casey heard his brother as he followed them in, knowing damn well how creepy this place had been. He’d had Gin give him the full spectrum of environments within the machine before. This place was probably ideal to have the flesheaters, since whatever resided here would be saturated in Apparitional magic- The harvested meat included.

”It’s alright, Lee. If you get freaked out, just look up.”

Up above, the shutters to the outer examination port were open. A massive Gin was staring down at them smiling like she was looking at the most adorable thing on the planet. As Casey pointed up, she started waving like crazy.

"Is that meant to be less freaky?!" Cass started laughing in contrast to her words, waving back enthusiastically at massive Gin staring down at them like God. She could hear all of the whispering and sure, it was pretty weird. But she didn't exactly have experience with any other areas like this… If shit started crawling out of the trees and it turned into a horror movie, she'd just go full beast mode and destroy everything!

No, some incredibly creepy whispers weren't enough to dampen the big bounce in her step.

“We can go to a different one of you'd rather." Trisha offered, pursing her lips. She didn't have the same senses they did. It was easy for her to ignore the little details in the place, and she found it comparatively more comfortable to the other ones available. Some of them were really wild… The only saving grace for the future of setting up hives in them was that the hive box itself was close to the entrance. She wouldn't have to venture in too far.

"It ain't too bad!" Cass bounded forward to get next to Leon, jumping up to hit his shoulder. It was meant to be comforting, but she was too enthusiastic right now to dampen down her actions.
"It's like being in a high school classroom where everyone's whispering about you! You just tune that shit out, right?"

”It’s just hard to believe there’s no Grave Guardian here. Or, anything besides the trees and flowers. Just a billion souls trapped in the dirt and water. Fairies come to these places to conduct war generation after generation, so they don’t sully their court grounds in blood.” Leon explained, clearing his throat.

”And they need a source vector to maintain adhesion to the elements around them. Which is why Leon’s weirded out. Also, installed speakers, lets fuckin’ gooooo-” Gin’s voice echoed in an equally divine fashion from above them.

”Truth is, Lee, we skipped a few steps. There are some Apparitions commonly found feasting on these places. If we milk ‘em, they leak out this sludge that is a much better binder for all that funky magic in the soil. Hence the trees are actually louder. They’re getting even more concentrated magic because they’ve been digested together and boiled down for God knows how long.”

”That’s… Ungodly.” was all Leon could respond with, now looking around in even more disgust in spite of his much more fearless sense of confidence. It was still creepy beyond what he was used to, even for the Temple. Which is why he tried to stay as far away from Project Eden as he could.

”Oh, it’s definitely a breach of some kind of contract, but hopefully we’ll never see the bad end of the sticks. Imagine fighting a bunch of Shadow Elves?” Casey pondered aloud, waving up to Gin.

”Hey! Where’s my goodies!?”
There was a whirring noise as a crane high above them started to shift about.
”Oooooooh Baby, that’s my Ginny! You give Nance and Caleb big fucking smooches for me, I’m serious!”

”Thank us after we find out if it works. Get ready for the eight hour setup schedule. Did you read those books like I said?”

”I… Yes. Read, no. But they’re in my brain, yes.”

”White Lux is a sin. You should have to read a fucking book. I’m going to hot glue your eyelids open and Clockwork Orange you into reading Moby Dick.”

Leon looked right at Cass.
”She said dick…” he laughed.

Cass started cackling in response, glad that Leon was feeling alright enough to be cracking jokes.
"I can't believe it, that ain't the language I expected to hear outta Gin's mouth!"

Trisha looked up at the big Gin in the sky, managing a hint of a smile.
“If he'd read them properly, then he'd have less time to spend with me... And the only thing he's getting clockwork oranged into looking at is me too. Eight hours of setup is already a lot to lose."

Obviously it was a joke, seeing as they spent plenty of time just reading while cuddled up with each other. It was a nice, chill activity… but she also knew if she had White Lux, she'd probably use it to suck all the knowledge out of books like that too.

“There’s a clearing just ahead." She continued, pointing down the path they'd been following. The trees did seem to open not too far away. She'd been in all the environments since she got the Greenhouse, and had at least taken the time to walk around the ones that were traversable.

“It’s hopefully a good spot to be in. I don't know about the whispering, though. I can't do anything about it."

"Heh, I bet it's the same in this whole place… Don't worry, cause I'm here!" Cass said, before grinning up at Leon.
"If it gets too much, I'll just hold you really tight till the whispering gets less fucking freaky! Or, at least, you ain't thinking bout it cause you're just thinking bout how awesome I am."

”Well, I’m honestly not sure what I’m doing besides lifting things and being moral support. I guess my thought would be, y’know, if you’ve got any time after dealing with the bees in between Casey being ready for you, we can talk about some better communication between you and the Queen. Or, maybe we can induce a conversation, and she can agree to start letting you drive the boat a bit more. I’m not sure which’ll be more useful, honestly!”

He was doing his best to be very good, and as far as Casey was concerned, he should keep it up and there’d be no problems. He was doing fine.

”Which reminds me, Babe… Not sure what you can make happen? But, if you can get like… Hornets, or some other kind of super-slick bee relative? I need something that can handle supersonic speeds. I know a way to stuff- well, it’s a long complicated process, but just try and get them strong. Real strong, and dense as fuck.” he shrugged as he moved toward the crane’s boom, wagging his hands to direct Gin to drop the crate dangling from the string.

”Ohhhh… It’s gonna be perfect! It’s a fucking marvel!”

“I can't wait to see it." Trisha smiled a bit at Casey's enthusiasm. It was enough for her to answer his question about what she could make happen without immediately panicking.

“But… I don't know what I can make happen either. There are cuckoo bees that look more like hornets, but I don't know if I can make them." She admitted quietly. It was something she'd planned to talk to the Queen about before falling into a prolonged depressive state where she didn't want to do much of anything. There hadn't really been a chance since. She didn't even know how to start making more honey bees, nevermind something that would fit what Casey wanted.

Though, when she'd asked before- before Thanksgiving and everything that followed- the answer from the Queen had been ‘I’ll tell you when you're ready to do it.’ Like explaining in advance was too much of an effort.

She turned to Leon, clasping her hands together so she didn't appear too nervous.
“So, I think… I need some help with communicating first. Because I need her help to even get started, and I don't know how to do it so I actually learn everything I need. Maybe getting to drive things would help… Did you just know when you got a share of Lelou's magic, or did you have to ask her? Because for me it feels like I was given the first chapter of an instruction book, and the owner reads me sections when they're awake enough to bother."

Cass had dumped her big bag, purposefully away from everything Leon was carrying. Didn't want to mix up the food and limbs, after all!
"I'll just sit here and start making limbs, unless anyone's gotta problem with that!"

”Do your thing, Babe. Just don’t go crazy with the gore.” Leon returned instructions, placing the coolers down as the harness came undone from his chest. He immediately pulled out a beer, cracking the top and taking a stretch before focusing on Trisha.

”No, to answer your question. The manual, as you say, was crammed into my head with the leash. It's different for everyone, as it turns out. So, I guess… Tell me what it feels like? Can you call out to her without her answering directly? She’ll just ignore you?” he asked with a furrowed brow.

Trisha nodded, with a slight frown, gaze turning downwards. Like she felt it was her fault. A bit of it probably was. When she first adjoined with the Queen, she’d been a teenager in a bad place. Some of her questioning had probably been quite aggressive. So maybe that was why the Queen just gave the basics then ignored her.

Though she said it was because she needed to rest.

“She’d been better since she talked with Dadonda. But for most of the past eleven years, we’ve spoken maybe a couple of times a year. That summer was an exception, but even then, I had to figure most of it out myself. I’d say she ignored me more than she answered.” Trisha admitted.

The Queen did claim to care for Trisha, but like with most positive feelings towards her, it was still difficult for her to believe. The only ‘proof’ was that she hadn’t left and taken the bees with her, and gifted Trisha magic. But it was a symbiotic relationship. Trisha looked after the bees and gave the Queen a resting spot which protected her from being sealed again.

“It feels like I’ve been given access to enough to be useful to her, and to protect myself against some threats. Nothing more… But I haven’t tried to access more until recently. I stopped asking as frequently because I didn’t get answers. It’s like-” She bit her lip, not wanting to go to the easiest comparison. The one she’d given Casey the first day they met, before he really knew what the subject was like. Her Mom.

But she didn’t view her relationship with the Queen as being bad. She silently provided Trisha with all the bees that kept her company when no one else did. That had been enough.

“I don’t know, I shouldn’t complain about it. I guess I’m just not sure how to get through to her. Do I need to do something else to give her energy so she doesn’t sleep as much? Maybe she just sees me as a child asking annoying questions. Sometimes it feels more like we’re… Roommates, instead of sharing my body.”

Leon looked thoughtful for a moment before waving her along to a more open and slightly quieter patch of grass than the one that contained Casey ripping open into machine casings. He swung his arm widely at the ground, taking the moment to slide down into a cross legged position in front of her.

”Well, I guess you should sit. Maybe, if you want some snacks or something, get ‘em. I’ve got a bunch of questions to ask. I feel like getting things sorted out will make our endeavors here go more smoothly; but I’m a bit worried that some of ‘em are gonna be a bit hard for you. Shit you may not want to answer, or maybe you’ll take ‘em like I’m accusing you or attacking you. So, I want you comfortable, meaning you should get what you need now.”

This was already a great deal different from the lessons back in the day. Leon just shouted a lot, and told people that they weren’t doing whatever it was they wanted to be doing, correctly. Impossible, that a technique other than one Leon approved of, be correct. Here, he even acknowledged that things were different for everyone… Which hopefully made the idea of a question and answer session make sense in Trisha’s mind.

”To start: I’m working off the assumption that any communication made to the Queen is done under your immediate prompting. Is that a fair thought? Or, does she occasionally come out of the blue to bark an order at you?” Leon asked calmly, watching Trisha as she fiddled about.

Trisha moved towards the cooler box to find a simple bottle of water- thankfully it wasn't just booze and food in there. She wasn't exactly a snacker when nervous or learning… the opposite, really, she forgot to eat entirely most of the time.

She wasn't sure how she felt about there being hard questions to answer. At least he was being honest about it… And she'd do her best to not feel like any of it was an accusation. She was already doing that in response to what felt like a judgment- that she couldn't deal with questions to improve her magic without feeling attacked. But he was just saying she might. It was a warning. It let her prepare herself.

She took a deep breath as she sat down, knees pulled up against her chest.
“Very rarely, but she does. It's less shouting orders and more making an observation. The last time was when I tried some of Casey's bread. Sometimes when I'm in a lot of distress. But the majority of the time it's my prompting."

She pulled her ponytail over her shoulder so she had something to fiddle with, hands tangling in her thick waves of hair.
“I don't think she's ever really present and watching."

From a short distance, Casey let out a loud, extended howl of excitement, beginning to dance around the half-opened crate as Leon tried to make sense of the Queen. Was she so out of touch that there was really nothing that could roust her regularly?

”Well, I understand that some questions would be more for her to answer herself, but… Y’know, just as a starter? An intro question? What if she just wants more bees? Nothing says that her power isn’t directly connected to the amount of bees you’ve got under your thumb, right? What’s the peak you’ve ever tended at once?” he asked matter-of-factly, hoping to avoid his brother behaving like that and distracting his new student.

Trisha did get briefly distracted, smiling slightly as she turned her head towards Casey. Her whole expression softened for that moment before she turned back to Leon to actually answer his question.

“Eighty thousand. About a month or two into that Summer… If you remember, there was a few weeks at the start when I was basically useless?” Though, she hadn’t exactly been that useful when her bees listened to her fully.
“Probably not… But I had five queen bees to make more then, so they didn’t listen to me. That’s why Cass is making me arms… I went down to twenty thousand by the time we sealed the Snake. Then I went back up to sixty thousand in the next year or two, and have had around that amount since.”

She was overexplaining unnecessarily. She should just get to the point.
“Sixty thousand was the number we agreed on. The Queen told me there was no need to make any more, since it’s the size of an average normal hive. So she doesn’t seem to want more bees… Or maybe she just didn’t trust me with more.”

Leon scrunched his nose as a frown formed across his face. She’d been given some kind of limitation? As if the entity itself didn’t want Trisha utilizing anything other than the most basic level of her abilities? A sudden uneasy feeling passed over Leon as he delved inward.

”Is it not so obvious? A greedy Queen believes her age has come and gone. She’s died a thousand deaths, trapped in a vessel with which she’s unable to express agency of the hive in any meaningful fashion. She is, as we all are, dealing with the results of Temporal Malaise.”

”Surely, I can’t fucking tell her that.”

”I never claimed the information was useful. Only that it is what it is.”

Leon shook his head openly, his eyes having rolled back into his head slightly before he came to once again.

”Well, I’ll be honest Trisha: That doesn’t sound great. Not to me, anyway. From personal experience, the only reason Lelou holds back certain abilities of hers from me are because they’ll subsume me completely. And I’ve really never known an Apparition that didn’t want to express their powers. It’s kinda their thing. Meaning, she’s either too afraid of bursting out of her own vessel, thereby killing you… Or, she’s… fucking depressed.”

Leon’s face said it all: I know you don’t want to hear this. I wouldn’t either. Please hear me out.

”From all that Lelou’s told me, there’s a lot of layers in the old power structure… But there was always a seat vacant for a bridge spirit between the spirits of Flora and Fauna. And pollinators are that bridge. Other insects can take the same role, but the Bee Empire was vast. Seillean had a lot on her shoulders! So, I mean, take your pick essentially: The fear of responsibility, continued burnout- You said she’s talked about resting, right? What’s a few centuries when you’ve been around for a hundred million years? So, really… My first guess is that she just doesn’t want to work. A lazy ghost!” Leon finished confidently, shrugging his shoulders with a frown.

”It’s really not your fault. But, it does make asking her directly even more relevant. I’d recommend going in with the attitude that no matter how much you ask of her, you would never ask her so much that she would be affected. Basically, get real humble. And if she sounds like she actually wants to build her kingdom up again? Like, if she laments its fall and wants to get things back on track? Give her the dedication. It’ll be worth it.”

Trisha frowned, hands tugging her own hair hard enough that it hurt. Depression was what Dadonda had said too, to the Queen herself. It seemed strange to Trisha… Because if she lent more of her abilities, wouldn't she still be able to sleep? Surely she'd be passing even more responsibility off?

So it was difficult to accept it wasn't in some way her fault. But she also knew the Queen hadn't adjoined with her out of the kindness of her heart. Trisha freed her, and was a suitable enough vessel when she was weakened. It was purely selfish with no love for Trisha or humanity. Maybe she'd grown fond of Trisha now… But Trisha remembered the feelings held when they'd adjoined, the brief sharing of minds as the Emotional Field formed before the Queen withdrew.

None of it made her feel more confident that she could get stronger. If anything, it shook the confidence she'd been beginning to build. It wasn't Leon's fault… he was just being honest. He was even being quite nice about it.

“She did adjoin to me and immediately hand over care for the Hive. She left growing it from the tiny amount left to what it is now pretty much all to me. So your first guess is probably right." Trisha bit her lip.
“Guess we make a good pair. She probably saw someone who wasn't going to bother asking for much at all… I was the perfect lazy vessel till now.".

She really couldn't help with the self deprecation. It wasn't even like she was looking for someone to jump in and tell her that wasn't the case. If she was, she'd be saying it loud enough for Casey to hear. But she was quiet, and glad that he was happily distracted. It all just made her feel more inadequate than it should. Like she didn't do a good enough job that the Queen wanted to hand over more magic, but also her own state of laziness was perfect for the Apparition to happily lounge in.

“Should I try asking her now? What would I even ask… What she wants? Or just directly for more magic, but humbly? Like I only expect it to be a fraction of her power." Trisha asked, hands moving from her hair to clasp together in her lap. She took a deep breath. She was the one that wanted to learn more. It didn't matter how it made her feel, she just had to push through it. She probably looked like a nervous mess to Leon right now… Another thing she didn't like. She hated not knowing things. But it was just natural. Asking for help was fine.

“I feel like I've already given her dedication. I've been raising an entire hive for almost half my life. Since she never pushed for more, I assumed that was all there was. But I didn't actually ask what she wanted. So I should start with that, shouldn't I?"

Leon half-frowned, nodding his head as he cleared his throat.
”If all it takes is a long, somewhat uncomfortable conversation? I’d call it worth being able to access things that you didn’t know were useful until now. Like, imagine there’s a pheromone for you, like the one Lelou gives off; makes you confident, fearless, able to take on the world. She calls it Primal Majesty. I don’t doubt that Seillean has the same thing! So, it’ll be good for you, hopefully.”

The truth was, all of this was an estimation. Leon spitballing ideas. The main goal was to give Trisha the confidence to explore her situation regardless of the somewhat painful nature of it. At least if she thought he knew what he was talking about, Leon recognized her incessant need to be seen as capable. He knew she’d just push harder to ultimately seem “normal”, or like she was in control. She’d act; and in that acting, hopefully she’d find real, solid ground without ever having asked for help.

Trisha pressed her lips into a thin line, before nodding.
“You’re right. I don't know if she has something like that, but I should ask. It's just a conversation. I've had plenty worse before!"

She managed to speak with some amount of confidence, as if she didn't try her best to run from every single uncomfortable conversation she could. At least the ones that delved into anything about her. Nevermind that it probably wasn't that simple… Her natural reaction was to fall back onto laziness and not bother when it was difficult. But she couldn't be useless anymore. She needed access to more magic.

Trisha closed her eyes, head drooping forward slightly as she lightly tugged the connection between her and her Apparition. It was easier to let the Queen wake up first before asking, she'd found. She didn't say anything until she felt the spirit rousing.

"What do you want for the future? From me."

Melodic laughter sounded in her mind.
Quite the question. I'm afraid you would not understand the wishes of one such as I.

Trisha's hands clasped together tightly in her lap, nails digging into her skin. A great start. She just had to move forward and be more specific.
"I understand… But don't you want to rebuild your kingdom and go back to how you were before you were sealed?”

It will happen one way or another. In a hundred or a thousand years, my kingdom will naturally come back into existence. It matters not if I take a brief rest.

"If you don't mind when it happens, why not let me start for you? Give me just a fraction more of your magic… Then you can rest and leave it to me, can't you?"

Did we not agree this was all that was needed? You did not want to manage a Hive of a larger size. There is no need.

"When I was fourteen! I'm an adult now… And I'm surrounded by people with magic. I can handle more now. I want more. You already know I'm going to make more bees… Isn't it obvious that I've changed?" It was impossible for Trisha to not get frustrated at what felt like rejection, quickly ignoring the advice Leon had given her about being humble. Because it felt like she'd been constantly dismissed by people in her life… it was hard to not get set off.

"I want to be stronger."

There was a brief pause.

I understand. Then you have two options, my Dear Beekeeper. We continue as we have been. You ask, I answer, I provide more as I deem it necessary. We talk more. I rest as I need to. Seillean responded evenly, a golden glimmer appearing in Trisha's closed eyes.
Or I pass it all to you. The knowledge and access to all the magic your body can handle. But understand, it will take a toll on you. It will not be channeled through me as it is now. You will be in control and you will have to learn how to tap into what I have given you. But the lines between us will blur.

"If you could give me control before, why didn't you? You told me you were recuperating… but you clearly have enough magic now?"

Because it is peaceful. Seillean answered simply.
What is your choice?

It wasn't a difficult choice. Not when she wanted to stand on the same level as all the people surrounding her… she wanted to be equal to them. To Casey.
"Pass it to me."

As you wish.

Trisha's vision blacked out completely, electric shocks shooting across her brain. Magic burst out of her in a wave of golden light and potent floral pheromones that filled the environment. Her whole body was covered by it, impossible to see Trisha beyond the intense light she was radiating. It was like she'd become the sun, an orb of radiant, honey coloured light surrounding and concealing her.

"Holy fuck- What the fuck did you tell her to do, Babe?!" Cass shouted, covering her nose with the third hand she'd just grown. The pheromones heavy in the air didn't seem to actually be doing anything beyond the really strong smell, though she could vaguely feel them scratching at her emotional field.

Leon sat still, nose operating at an incredible level to the parts in the air. Each gave another scent, and another still that sent himself and Lelou into overload. There were quite a few memories of the massive, unending grovelands dotted by millions of beehives carefully clinging to the sparse trees in those roving hills. All were equal in the Empire… All who would guard the flowers knew the same safety.

And Leon was living it all over again. Casey had rushed to Leon’s side before his magic had the chance to parse out even a fraction of what was going on. And even then, it wasn’t clear. Apparitional magic, sure. But what was it doing to her?

”Well, we agreed on her having a conversation with the Queen. That’s all that was said! We had to figure out what the Queen wanted in exchange for more substance, and so whatever they’re talking about, clearly, is working!” Leon spoke rather calmly all things considered.

"Did she ask to be turned into the fucking sun?! Fucking hell, I'ma go blind!" Cass used another hand to shield her eyes, moving towards the two brothers. If Leon was calm it was probably fine, right? Casey didn't seem to be screaming or sobbing or anything either so… Probably all good? Just some crazy magical exchange or some shit.

"Is this how it normally goes? Does-"

All at once, the radiant light died down. A soft glow still clung to Trisha's body, where she floated just off the ground. She'd grown wings- though they didn't seem to move, and the hints of other bee features were quickly receding with the blinding light. Then, it was all gone. With a soft thud she dropped, standing for only a moment before she was on her knees.

She curled forward, hands clutching her head. It was absolutely swimming with information, leaving her dizzy and confused. The process hadn't been painless either. It felt like it did whenever a bee died but a thousandfold.

“Fuck, fuck, fuckkk." She whimpered, eyes squeezed shut. Tears slowly crept down her cheeks, appearing to be more like honey than water.

Beneath the physical sensations, she could feel the deep supply of powerful magic she didn't have access to before. Seillean had opened it up to Trisha and passed over all the knowledge to use it… but it was so much to parse. It was overwhelming, and her body wasn't exactly in the perfect state to handle it.

Goodnight for now, dearest Trisha.

“Goodnight- what, huh?!" Trisha said out loud in her confusion and panic, suddenly feeling completely abandoned with stronger magic she hardly understood.

Casey pressed forward as fast as he could, scooping Trisha into his arms and holding her, his hand moving to cup her head.
”Baby!? Baby, no, don’t sleep! Whatever you do, don’t go to sleep!”

Leon started laughing, being the only one in the surrounding area with strong enough hearing that he had a sense of Seillean’s voice echoing in Trisha’s head. Or, maybe it was just his being used to the shock and awe that was Aberrant Synchronization. For someone like him, with plenty of Luxal pathways already opened and expanded by years as a kindled Adept, it was probably a lot easier. But, Trisha had never really harbored magic in her body like this. It was all low-intensity, funneled through another source. Now, that source was truly commingled, pushing its way through her blood and the electricity in her brain.

She’d finally taken the Bee pill.

”She’s fiiiiine. Give her a few minutes, she’s not going to sleep Case.”

Casey looked back, a frown on his face.
”What about the fuckin’- She said goodnight! Like she’s got a concussion!”

”The Queen, dude! Just trust me!”

Casey pouted in turn, frowning and turning his head back to look at Trisha, where he waited like Leon suggested and took a deep breath, trying to be patient.

It was difficult for Cass to be patient too, but she did her best to not to bother Casey with it. Which meant Leon got the brunt of it- it was basically what he signed up for, anyway! She ended up behind him, starting with hugging around his neck and swinging from side to side like she was going to sumo wrestle him to the ground, tugging at his face, and just clambering onto him as best she could while he was sat down.

Trisha reactively curled into Casey, one hand weakly grasping at his shirt. It felt like her body was on fire, and her brain had been stuffed full. She could barely think beyond subconsciously processing the information passed on, but she recognised the comfort of Casey's arms around her.

Her head tilted back to squint at him, gold and amber flecks glowing in her bleary eyes. As she stared at his face, her gaze started to get clearer and the unnatural additions faded. The constant electric shocks and burning heat of magic coursing through her veins ceased.

Her brain still felt incredibly full. It hadn't been as smooth as she'd expected. She'd assumed that the Queen would hand over the knowledge and then she'd just know. Like it was natural, like Casey seemed to after Lynette gave him her spellbook. While she had access to a wealth of magic now, she had to pick through all the information stuffed into her brain to figure it out. More studying, more training… More time.

So much for being the easier route.

“I’m fine. I'm alright, Casey." Trisha managed a weak smile, arms snaking around him as tightly as she could manage.
“It just hurt more than I expected… No sleeping for me, don't worry. I'm alright, really."

She was doing her best to comfort him, and was clearly more back to normal. But she was still struggling to process what had happened herself. Once again, she had no idea where to start with what she'd been given. But she couldn't ask, could she? Because then she'd look stupid and weak.

“I’m sorry for scaring you. I really didn't expect it'd be like that… she didn't warn me."

”Wait… So, that was it? That means she was holding out on you!? This entire time?”

Casey didn’t seem to have a terrible amount of processing time for the situation. As it stood, he could only assume that the massive influx of Apparitional magic was some kind of boundary breaking, and the ensuing rush of energy from one host to another. But, it was just dumped on her? Like she was supposed to know everything all at once? Goodnight!? He wasn’t worried now, but he was nonplused.

”Casey?” Leon’s voice echoed toward his brother in empathetic calm. For once, he seemed totally in control.
”Trisha made her deal a decade ago.Then? The terms, man… They were much less intrusive. Do the minimum, and in return, receive minimal benefit. Whatever the conversation was just then, it was clearly an easy one to deal with. It was just jarring, like if you didn’t have White Lux as a buffer to organize a billion things.”

Casey looked at Leon, then back to Trisha.
”Is it really like that? I can try to help… Maybe it’d be easier?” he offered, looking like he was moments away from shedding a tear over her pain.

“Sort of." Trisha pursed her lips together, managing to glance past Casey at Leon for a moment. But her gaze quickly moved back to her fiancé, overwhelming confusion and panic reducing a bit.
“I didn't knowingly make any deal. I was only thirteen when we Adjoined, and I wouldn't really say it was-" consensual.

But she couldn't say that without putting her Apparition in a bad light. She was perfectly fine with what had happened- happy, even. Without being Adjoined she wouldn't have her bees, and she wouldn't have met Casey. She just wanted to make it clear that she hadn't really known what was happening at the time. She wasn't as bad as Leon made her sound with ’Do the minimum’.

“Formal. I haven't been lazily doing the minimum because it's what I wanted. Leon makes it sound like there was some kind of agreement beyond me saying I couldn't manage a larger group of bees… Which I couldn't! You saw what it was like, Casey, I had them all living in my bedroom!" She was trying her best not to get overly defensive at the perceived slight of choosing to do very little for the Queen because she didn't want to.

It wasn't really true. She hadn't purposefully chosen to do the minimum. It wasn't like the Queen had ever really offered her more. Her assumption had been that the only route was through expanding the Hive to sizes that a fourteen year old had no way of managing.

She didn't really know until she met Casey, and talked to Leon and other Adjoined, that there actually was more to be given. Sure, part of it was her laziness. She didn't ask or push for the last decade. But it wasn't like there'd been a proper deal or anything.

“She wasn't at her full power back then anyway. I-" She cut herself off, biting her lip and taking a deep breath. She was fixating on it, and it would only make her look worse if she kept bringing up more reasons that it hadn't all been on her. But she wasn't trying to blame the Queen either…

She managed a smile, forcing herself out of the tight ball she'd been curled up in. Not moving out of Casey's arms, obviously, but she was hugging him back more normally rather than clutching. He was concerned enough for her that he looked like he was going to cry… she should try concentrate on that love rather than making excuses for how she'd been magically up until now.
“I guess that's not important. How do you think you can help? My mind feels like it's been stuffed full of cotton… Except every piece is filled with information I can barely process."

Casey had wanted to play the reassurances game. The one where he took Trisha’s concerns and actively walked them all back to the source in order to placate her. But, she seemed able enough to pull herself out of it, which was impressive. Though, Leon’s face had boiled down into a more raw kind of skepticism. Not at Trisha’s victim mentality, either.

”Can you actually parse out Apparitional Magic?”

Casey smiled and nodded in turn.

”Mom can. I have the spell, at least.”

Looking back down toward Trisha, Casey kept her held in his arms and rocked backward slightly to really hold her close.

”Think of it like this: Every cotton ball is made of fibers, right? So, if you ripped them all out of the wad, and then straightened each fiber individually, it would all technically take up more space. But, at the same time, every fiber is observable. And once you can see it all, you can organize it better. Size, shade, texture… Obviously this is metaphorical, but I can show you what my head is like mostly, to give you an idea.” he enthusiastically explained.

Trisha’s brow furrowed as she peered up at him. The metaphor didn’t really help at all… Because it just felt like there was too much in her mind to even consider organising it. And how could she even do something like that? She didn’t have magic for that, and she’d never been good at actually retaining and organising information she had. It was part of why she did so badly on exams after studying so much.

Even seeing it all seemed like a mammoth task. Because surely that required processing it all, which required understanding it… That was going to take her weeks. Months, maybe.

“I don’t really understand… Well, I get the organisation thing. But my mind isn’t a shelf. I can’t just move information around and store it in different places. It’s just in there now and I need to go through it… Maybe I’ll understand it better if you show me what your head’s like, but you can use White Lux to actually organise it, can’t you? I don’t have that.”

”Oh, Babe… The human mind is way better than you give it credit for. You just need help. C’mon, give me your hand.”

Taking her hand, Casey brought it up to rest with her palm clasping his skull. She’d be able to feel the warmth before finding herself in the relative darkness. There was a strange machine in front of her, constantly churning away. It looked like two massive wire brushes attached to a rotational mechanism. And in between the two giant brushes, a big wad of white cotton was getting ripped and shredded apart.

”Your brain is always churning out information of some kind. Most of it gets trapped here, in the primary cycle. Right now, that's causing you all the stress. Because it's all caught basically at the forefront of your mind. But your mind is a complex machine! Every one is.”

Casey’s voice echoed through this place with the same gentle inflection as a teacher. The whole machine spun, revealing the other side. Strands of cotton that made it to the top of the machine all tumbled into an odd vacuum, which sucked each fiber in and deposited them into slots which further shook them around until they disappeared..

”Everything gets organized, and when it's processed, the thought gets filed away into a few categories. That's usually based on things like relevance and immediate usage. Now, I think I can offer a few different solutions. One, I can take the bulk of the information from you, and run it through my brain. But it’ll organize it how I would organize it, which you may not like. We can link together, and you can use my brain like a second processor. Or, I can cast a spell on you that’ll temporarily improve the speed at which your brain can process, and you can keep working at it yourself. My only worry is that you’ll still overload yourself without knowing how to handle it all.”

Trisha frowned. Though it was a strange action, because she wasn’t really there. She just felt like she was frowning… Maybe her body was. She wasn’t sure how she felt about all of it. Because either option felt a bit like cheating. She asked for all the information from the Queen and she couldn’t even handle it.

Though she hadn’t expected it to come over like that… As an absolute mess she had to figure out. She didn’t just know.

Casey was right that she’d probably just overload herself if doing it by herself. Probably because she’d end up fixating, processing, and not caring for herself. She wanted to get it sorted so she could at least start learning how the fuck to use the magic she now had access to.

There shouldn’t be any shame in asking for help from him, because he was her fiance. They were supposed to help each other. But she still felt ashamed she couldn’t just handle this herself.

“I don’t know. How long would it take to do myself like that? I’ll probably struggle to do anything else until it’s done… But what if you take it and do it? Won’t that take a lot of your time and energy?” Or maybe it would be easy and fast for someone like him.
“I don’t really care how it’s organised. I don’t even know how my brain organises things… Not well, I think. What do you think’s the best option? Honestly.”

A hand formed in the dark surrounding Trisha, the machine’s noise dulling away until it stopped moving. A thousand more hands rolled the massive wad of cotton out of the machine, while the first remained with Trisha holding her hand.

”I bet it’s not cotton… I bet its a big honeycomb.” Casey’s voice radiated much closer to her now, and the space all fell away to nothingness.

”Alright. Go ahead! Start thinking about it. I’m here with you. We’ll work it all out, no matter what form the information comes in.”

"Huh?" Trisha was a bit confused at first about what had happened. Her confusion messed up the dark space they were now in, sections blurring as if colourful information was trying to get through.

So they were in… Her mind? She was glad it didn't just show everything in there like she always worried about with these things. The disorganised chaos that it must be. So she just had to start thinking about it…

That wasn't hard with all the information crammed into her mind still at the forefront. It took barely a thought for the whole area to light up. Just like Casey had guessed, they were surrounded by towering honeycombs. Each cell contained thick globs of honey- or information. Some of it even dripped out, like there was too much for Trisha to hold.

It was a bit strange for Trisha, because she never processed things like this. She didn't have magic… Had it come to her in this form, or was she just visualising it like that because of what Casey said? It didn't really matter.

"I don't know where to start…"

”It’s all visualized here. That’s where you start. Visual categorization. Look.-”

Casey wasn’t himself anymore… He was, in fact, a small bee which now flitted about Trisha’s summation of a head, buzzing without much control besides knowing where he wanted to be positioned. The towers of sweetness all seemed so uniform, so alike... But, Trisha would know from her years of working with the material, that honey wasn’t always made equal. There were grades, gradients in the honey that told her what was good, and what wasn’t so.

”-There’s colors. Even I can see that. So, we run a little experiment. You test the dark stuff, and you test the light stuff. You see which one seems more important, or less important. Then, organize the gradient. At that point, you still don’t know anything, but you’re sure of what you need to know, and what you don’t! Does that sound doable? When we know that’s possible, I’ll fly around and start marking off which combs have the darker stuff, and which have the lighter stuff, so that you can get it all centered. Oh, here… For now-”

Another machine… A massive honey press formed, along with several different tanks.

”-we’ll have a place to store it all. You’ll need to figure out your own storage for it all when we’re done since if I’m holding it all and I leave, it just explodes back into your brain.”

"Oh-kay." It was still a bit confusing and overwhelming for Trisha, but she trusted Casey. She could do it with his help… And organising by colour was a relatively easy start.

"That sounds doable… I'll start figuring it out now."

The slowest part was the start, with Trisha having to test the 'honey' to see what kind of information it held. It wasn't exactly cut and dry about what was useful and what wasn't… she had to think about that. But in the end the darker stuff seemed more important- and more information dense. The lighter stuff was the kind of knowledge she wouldn't need for a long while.

Actually sorting it was easier with Casey's help and conjured up storage machine. Once it was all sorted from darkest to lightest, Trisha was able to make out a vague pattern in each comb- at least differences and similarities between each. It allowed her to sort it a bit more into some form of categories without having to delve into every single important looking piece… Which would take a long time. Instead she checked a few before moving them into categories based on what it seemed to describe. There were three overarching categories of bees, pheromonal magic and self-transformation, with the first two being vast and the last smaller but entirely new to her. The information within was sorted as much as it could be, so that it was in neat places for her to pick out as she actually needed to learn it.

Figuring out her own storage was another difficult stage. She struggled to understand how to even do it, because she just couldn't adjust to the fact she was sort of in her own mind. Eventually with a lot of help from Casey she managed to move all of the 'honey' information into labelled jars, 'boxed' by category.

"I'm going to have a lot of training and learning to do…" She managed to half grumble mentally when they were finally finished. There was so much there it just wasn't possible to absorb it all in a way that she could then immediately use it. Maybe if she'd had more magical exposure it would feel more natural. At least thanks to Casey's help the process of actually learning what she had at her disposal would be easier, and she didn't feel like her brain was stuffed full.

"Thanks, Casey. I love you… Uh, how do we get out?"

It had been a busy few hours. Hours spent with the two of them still talking like they always did. Goofing and joking as Casey did his best to keep Trisha stable. There were quite a few instances where she wasn’t doing well with the volume of information. Frankly, it was overwhelming. Or, would’ve been, had Casey’s White Lux not been so powerful in its own right. The centuries of gathered knowledge coursed through his magic, leaving him with at least some kind of idea about what millions and millions of years could look like.

And it was a lot. There was no doubt about how rough this all was. But, there was also a lot of overlap. Places that they could at least “condense” the honey into thicker and thicker grades. Thankfully, the information wasn’t entirely trapped inside Trisha, and Casey had the chance to make “copies” of the different jars to bring back and examine in his own memory. With that, and that they’d established a system of understanding the information together, he could spend his own sleeping time getting some of the studying done for her.

Other people may take his willingness to do his fiance’s homework as him spoiling her, but in all actuality, Casey found himself being quietly selfish. Not only would he know everything she could do alongside her, but given how voracious he was in the concerns of knowledge like this, he’d likely reparse and devour it all wholesale over the next few weeks. It was exciting, being the only other person allowed to crack open the books of knowledge on a being so old it made him look like a radar blip in time.

With his knowledge intact, Casey pulled a final look at the honey stash before peeling the magic back. As he did, he spoke to Trisha.

”Oh, my silly bee… We don’t just get out of our own heads! That’s a good idea though.”

The world around her unfurled, the darkness of the far distance becoming colored once more as other voices faded into Trisha’s consciousness.

”-ust curious how many limbs you think she’s gonna need. ‘Cuz, I know it’s a lot easier for me to rip ‘em off, but this is getting weird.”
The wet shredding noise of flesh being torn from flesh echoed along with Leon’s voice.

"Aw, Babe, you gotta much lower gore tolerance than I expected!" Came Cass' teasing reply.
"I dunno! A lot I imagine, so, keep ripping!"

As Trisha's vision of the real world came back, she was met with the sight of Cass having gone full spider mode. She had far too many extra tendril-like limbs, a couple of them wriggling playfully at Leon in tandem with her words. The gaping wound from the one he'd torn off had immediately healed over, before a brand new limb started to grow from the same spot.

Trisha grimaced, tilting her head so she could use Casey to block out Cass.
“Not so many right now that you have to torture Leon, Cass."

"It ain't torture he's just- Wait, you're back?!" Cass flung up every single limb, accidentally smacking Leon with multiple.
"How was your mind date? Got all've that knowledge now?!"

“It’s sorted so I can actually learn from it." Trisha replied calmly. The time with Casey sorting it had at least helped her feel a bit less inadequate about her inability to just learn and use it. There was so much information in there it was impossible for a normal person to just absorb it. In the end it was probably a good thing, too. She'd just hurt herself if she immediately started blasting the strongest magic she could.

“I’ll start with implanting the bee larvae. I'm not actually sure how much I'll need in the end, but I'm sure you've made enough to start. You-" There was a surprisingly loud growl from her stomach that interrupted her. She blushed, hiding herself against Casey out of embarrassment. She normally never got hungry like that…
“I guess I need to eat first."

"Now you're just giving Lee an excuse to get outta ripping my limbs off, cause that ain't a meal time activity!" Cass joked, pushing down her initial reaction about how fucking cute Trisha was to tease her boyfriend instead with a bright grin.

Leon heard the change in the couple’s breathing before Trisha had actually spoken, and reactively twisted both himself and Cass into a position where at least Casey wouldn’t be blasted with immediate visions of hacked meat. They’d been at it for hours now… He was tired in a bored sense, and worse; dealing with the fact that Cass seemed to be eternally enjoying this process.

”You can’t keep getting away with moaning every time one comes off. At this point, I’m not sure if you’re just joking, or if you actually like this shit. Either way, it's definitely a step past my fetish list.” he spoke with as much of a playful tone as he could while still letting her know he was sore about it.

Casey’s eyes turned and saw the tips of tendril-like pink rolls of meat, like prepared pork loin tucked into itself. The nautiloid spiral it made in the center, the leaking blood from the chopped ends. It wasn’t like normal cadaver. The stuff he’d dealt with was always far more… Gritty. Bone chunks kicked up dirt and debris, massive slabs of coagulated blood sat like jelly molds, organs-

He immediately stood, holding Trisha’s hand until the last second that saw him sprint off past one of the face-covered trees. From behind, only the sound of loud retching could be heard as Casey painted the ground. At least the shaking seemed to be a reaction to the vomiting, instead of a usual panic reaction… Or, maybe it was all lumped together, and happening very fast.

Leon frowned, shaking his head.
”See, I said we should get it organized and shuffled away before Casey wakes up!” he insisted to Cass.

"I thought there was gonna be some kinda warning! Like, y'know, how people normally wake up!" Cass shot back with a light huff. Though she did feel incredibly bad it'd ended up affecting Casey like that and maybe she had gotten a little too into the whole limb growing ripping off thing… In a fixating way! It was fucking fun! Okay maybe it had pushed a little into what Leon was upset about… But just a little.

"It ain't like we had to do it here… I did say we could move but-"

“Please just get it moved somewhere out of sight now." Trisha interrupted Cass, not able to deal with whatever was going on there because of her worry for Casey. She'd already pushed to her feet.
“I’m going to make sure he's alright."

"On it, boss!" Cass was already bending down to scoop up as many disgusting meat tendrils as she could with her normal arms and the remaining four additional ones.

Trisha went after Casey. She still wasn't entirely sure if it was the right thing to do, but the last time he'd reacted like that he'd said her being there was enough… So she'd do that again.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, Casey… Do you want to go back to the house?" She offered as she came round the tree, making sure to avoid any splatter on the ground as her hand moved up to comfortingly rub his back.

Like usual with this reaction, Casey’s first instinct was to be apologetic, and embarrassed. It was things like this that disrupted others lives, and even though he could’ve had a far worse reaction, he’d be just as hard on himself for this minor inconvenience.

”N-no! Absolutel-e-eh…-” he paused to gag, trying not to think of the shredded flesh at the frayed ends.
”-Ab-so-lutely not. I’ll be fi-ne. I’m s-sorry! I… Oh, oh fuck! Shit, did I fuck the environment up!? I’ve gotta ask Gin, oh God, fuck! Fuck, if I fucking ruined it, I’ll be-”

Casey clenched his eyes shut, which was a good way to block the guilty tears from coming up. Like he’d ruined her perfect science project, he was going through all the ways his poor reaction to something so simple could ruin Trisha’s time. If the environment couldn’t handle food waste left in it, and it all had to be scrubbed, he’d feel terrible. Evil, even. Like he wasn’t fit to keep trying to help her if he couldn’t stand a natural process for a certain type of bee.

“I don't care, Casey! It doesn't matter if it's fucked up… and if Gin cares, I'll deal with it." Trisha interrupted before he could get any further. She slipped in front of him, hands moving to hold his face. It was brave when he was still struggling… But she could handle it if he ended up throwing up on her. She didn't care. She just cared about him feeling better.

“It’s really fine. I'll use another one… and if this could mess it up, it wasn't very stable. How would it handle all the growing bees? Please don't be upset at yourself… You don't need to apologise. And you told me that I shouldn't be ashamed of my attacks. So why are you beating yourself up over yours?!"

How would it handle all the growing bees? It was a question he hadn’t had the wherewithal to ask himself in the moment, but it was a pretty good question. Would something so small as him throwing up what was essentially stomach acid full of fruit juice have any kind of effect here? Maybe if she was worried the bees may be tainted by a little bit of sweet in their diet, but if this was a Fae Forest, there was no way the plants cared.

”Be…cause…-”
He frowned, then looked down in shame.
”-I should’ve expected it. I had time to brace myself, I just wasn’t thinking. And now Cass and Leon have to move it all, when I should really get used to it if I’m going to help tend to them as I can.” he tried to assign as much logic to his reaction as possible, discontent with the idea that it was some sort of “attack” rather than a simple gut reaction to something that was objectively gross.

“I appreciate you wanting to help that much, but I really don't expect you to help with this part." Trisha responded simply, thumbs gently rubbing his cheeks. Maybe it wasn't a helpful response… But why would she expect her fiance with some serious PTSD to help her grown larvae in human flesh. The whole process was already gross enough for a normal person. She just had a surprisingly high tolerance for this kind of thing.

“Even if you expect something you can't always control your reaction, right? I always expect rejection and still panic when it happens…" Maybe not the best example.
“But Cass and Leon won't mind… And I care more about you. I don't want you to see things you can't deal with… I'll feel worse if you try and push through it to try and help with something I have to do the majority of anyway."

”Neither of us like feeling useless, do we?” he asked her quietly, opening his eyes finally. They were leaky, but he wasn’t sniffling or moving toward outright sobbing; at least for the moment.

Part of Trisha wanted to argue with that… That she didn't just feel useless, she actually was most of the time. But she could also recognise that would be hypocritical right now. Even if her self view was poor, she was slowly getting better at not just giving into the irrational feelings that came with it.

“Maybe that's why we understand each other so well." She replied softly. It wasn't quite an outright agreement, but it practically was.
“I guess we just need to remember that… we'll never be useless to each other. You help me just by being here."

Casey nodded, feeling the truth in what Trisha said. She certainly wasn’t useless standing here and holding him. He felt much better. His body crunched, and he wrapped her in both arms to pull her up in an embrace. He shook them both side to side slightly, feeling her small frame trapped inside his arms.

”Same to you… I’m much better with you around, Trisha Bee. Thank you. I… I guess we’ll probably save the beequipment for another time. But, I still need to finish getting it set up. Gin was helping me with it and then, y’know, we decided to take a three hour nap.” he tried to joke.

“It was the most productive nap I've ever had. Most fun too." Trisha smiled up at him, managing a soft giggle as she let him swing them gently from side to side. Not that she could wriggle out… but most importantly, she didn't want to.

“That sounds like a good idea… I still want to start with bee creation, since I'm not sure how long they'll take to grow. But I didn't actually plan to do it and leave them here. Probably among the trees… I just want to get started." She continued quietly. She'd absorbed a bit of that information during the sorting, and making more honey bees didn't seem difficult. It would just take more time to create any others, so she imagined she'd have to keep doing it for the next few days. Today she'd be happy with getting the basics done.

“I guess I can ask Leon and Cass to help move things… Or maybe just Cass, to give Leon a break. We might need to save them both from Cass, she was acting strangely… Snappy."

”She’s been at it for hours. Surely, she’s hungry. Get ‘em both out for lunch, and uh… Maybe just for giggles, try the “Autono-bee” thing? And, y’know, set some of them to follow me? I can get the little suits fitted to them while you guys eat.” Casey suggested, hoping that she either wouldn’t care that he was asking to work through lunch without her, or that she wouldn’t notice.

“You’re not going to at least sit with us?" Trisha immediately pouted up at him. Unfortunately, she was never going to miss or not care about time he wanted to spend away from her. She understood that he probably didn't want to eat after that… And Cass especially could be a horrendously messy eater. But she'd rather just kick them both out and still get to eat in his company. She could easily have a fully vegetarian lunch.

“And I’m not sure about trying that and then leaving. What if it stops and they start stinging you? They recognise you because of all my pheromones lingering, but I'm not sure if that'll be enough when you start trying to put suits on them."

He frowned, not seeing any other option besides acquiescence. Obviously he didn’t want it to be any bigger of a deal for her than he’d already made it, so rather than protest further, he frowned and moved forward with her hand in his.

”Then, I’ll just come along. It’s alright.” he said very simply.

It was hard to not assert, but at the same time, it was the easiest thing he could do. Just let her have the moment, and show her that ultimately, he was always going to be stronger than what he wanted to be. He’d always push himself past the goal line, especially for her. She was worth it.

---

After lunch, everything proceeded as smoothly as it could. Casey finished getting his new equipment set up while Trisha concentrated on beginning to plant Honey Bee larva in the flesh tendrils Cass had made.

It was a bit of a strange process. The egg stage was essentially skipped- while it was what Trisha put in, the magic she channeled into it had the egg immediately hatching into a quickly growing larva. From what she’d managed to get through, they should grow much faster than normal bees would… Thankfully. She didn’t have twenty-one days to wait.

After the first few, the process got easier for her. It felt more natural and she didn’t have to think so hard. In the end, she managed to do over a thousand. They were small enough she could do multiple to a tendril. It was nice to know she could get so many done in just a few hours, and she was getting faster with each bee.

It would take a bit more effort to do something different, but that was a problem for the next day.

The information sharing and organising had taken a toll on her, and she couldn’t push as long as she wanted to. Tomorrow she’d do more… But in the end, it was barely the evening when the two of them ended up back in their home and in that safe spot on the couch. The TV droned on, one of the more brainless shows they were watching switched on. For Trisha, it was mostly just background noise as she cuddled into Casey, barely looking at the screen.

Without anything to actually distract her, all those thoughts from earlier started slipping back in. About how lazy she looked when Leon mentioned her making a minimal effort deal. She was glad she hadn’t gotten defensive at him then, proving that she was really trying to be patient… But it didn’t stop her own self doubts from creeping in. If he felt that way it was fine. But what about Casey?

She hadn’t known what she was agreeing to, or that she was even agreeing to something.

“If it was that easy, I would’ve asked the Queen for more magic ages ago.” Trisha spoke softly. They’d been cuddling in comfortable silence long enough for her to relax and let the thoughts slip out, but not quite so long that it felt jarring. Not enough time for either of them to start drifting off.

“I always thought the only way to get stronger was to get more bees. She didn’t really say any different, so I didn’t realise until I met you and talked to other Adjoined. I assumed that was all I could get.” She continued, carefully avoiding what she actually wanted to say. She’d only look bad if she went straight into the excuses. Bad, and like even more of a mess.
“I guess I shouldn’t say it was easy, since I would’ve still been struggling with all the information without your help.”

For all that they’d done today, Casey wasn’t satisfied knowing that there was more to learn. He’d strayed away from the topic of the day in favor of trying to figure out the various forms of bee that Trisha could conjure up in her infinite ability. Some were special, and needed to be gestated as they were. Others were common bees induced into transforming via a magical pheromone that Trisha could produce. Certain forms actually seemed much more useful to the end he was interested in pursuing, which made him excited for what was coming next.

He hadn’t had any particular thoughts on what Trisha’s agreement with the Queen was. When Leon had made his earlier comment, it hadn’t even affected him in turn. He’d barely heard it. So, as Trisha did her best to subtly broach the subject, she did so without him being in any way the wiser. As it was another patented Trish-insecurity, it was also buried deep enough that the first foray into discussing it was totally obscured by Trisha’s inability to be completely honest with herself. So, he listened to her speak, then had to ask himself where it was coming from in such an out-of-the-blue fashion.

”Well, it’s basically my fault. You wouldn’t be worried about this stuff if I wasn’t accidentally dragging you into wartime.” he retorted, shaking his head and rubbing her head gently.

”It’s alright though… You do have me, and we’ll work together to get you as situated as possible!” his voice remained warm and comforting, even as he was somewhat confused over being pulled out of his vaguely meditative research state.

“I do… I'm really lucky to have you." Though Trisha's voice was soft, she pressed her lips into a thin line and tensed up a little bit.

She wasn't sure what she'd been hoping for in response. Something she could latch onto to bring up what she was thinking about. She almost wanted him to realise and prod at her so she got defensive, rather than having to be vulnerable. It was still such a struggle… Especially after everything that had happened. It felt silly to fixate on something and force it onto him with the expectation of comfort. Well, she was really expecting that, was she? She was just trying to explain.

And maybe he had given her a way to bring it up…

“But I would still be worried about this stuff. Maybe not to such an extreme, but… I did think a lot about how to get stronger. I just didn't know how besides the bees, and the Queen barely responded to me. I would've liked to have access to more, especially with the Father Wolf thing. I just didn't trust other magical people enough to seek help." Her voice got quieter, lowering to a whisper as she eked out close to what she actually wanted to say.
“I really didn't realise I was agreeing to the minimum forever."

Casey shrugged, still not picking up what part of the conversation she was trying to highlight. At least he was, until she finished speaking for that moment. After that, it was a Hell of a lot easier to figure out what the problem was. She was embarrassed, or something similar. There was a problem with being made to seem like she’d taken the minimum deal, he guessed. Like that was ever an issue.

”Wait, Trish… Is this about what Leon said? Be honest with me, just tell me what’s troubling you. If you feel like you can’t tell me the truth, I’ve gotta assume it's either bad, or embarrassing you. You’re… Wait, let me guess: You’re feeling crappy for not being an expert. You think I’ll, like, get bored of you? Or mad that you’re not some bee goddess?”

Once he latched on, he was a bulldog about these sorts of things. If Trisha had wanted him to poke and prod so she could get defensive, the mission had been a success in spite of the delay.

Trisha pursed her lips, looking away from him. It wasn't about her not being an expert… Sure, she did feel crappy about that, but it was a truth she couldn't really defend. She hated not knowing things, which was why she'd burn herself out to rectify it.

“I don't think you want me to be some kind of bee goddess… you wouldn't have even gotten with me if you wanted anything near that." She responded, shaking her head.

“If you're even mentioning getting bored of me, that means it's a possibility, doesn't it? But I'm really not lazy. I know it seems that way! But I promise I'm not. Even if I'm never that good at things or that knowledgeable I still try really hard to learn. There's no proof of it but it's really true… I haven't just been sitting on my ass doing the minimum by choice."

Casey couldn’t do anything but push out a laugh with a smile crawling up behind it. His eyes hadn’t really been looking at her until now, body language casual and calm. It still was for the most part. He wasn’t any more or less tense than he had been.

”Trisha… You live in a world where someone gets bored of someone else and dumps them like a child’s toy. It’s only a possibility in your head. See, in my world? You don’t see someone who doesn’t know much and think the worst of them. You protect them. You nurture them, until they have the desire and the opportunity to learn more. Just like us.”

His head finally turned downward to fully look at her, the expression on his face maintaining a sagelike calm.

”Or, would you rather I started talking about how much fun it is to sit and learn about something so vast alongside you? Because I’ve got a lot of angles where this ends up being, y’know… A you problem, essentially. One I’m happy to help with as much as I can, but still… I don’t think you’re boring, and I certainly don’t think you’re friggin’ lazy. God, you must look at yourself like you’re some kind of grifter all the time, doesn’t that get exhausting?” he asked in full seriousness.

Trisha frowned. Of course the way she thought about herself got exhausting… But that didn't mean it wasn't always true, or that she could just move past it. It was probably part of why she had those depressive periods where her brain just shut down… Or the days where she just wanted to sleep and do nothing. Which just made her feel worse in the end.

It was more than just the magic and this situation, obviously. It was all bundled up in how she viewed herself- inadequate. Then there was the conflict inside where she flip flopped from being pissed off all her hard work didn't get her anywhere, and feeling like she was the worst person around because she was where she was through no effort of her own.

“It does…" She answered quietly.
“But I don't know how to look at myself any other way. I don't know what I've done to deserve anything I have. I don't have to work because I was born into a rich family, I was able to get into an alright university cause I was paying insane out of state fees and then I haven't even done anything with it. I only have my magic because I destroyed one of my dad's expensive artifacts. Then I've barely done anything with it. I am happy I get to learn more about it with you. And I know you love me and probably don't really care, but I just feel like… I don't deserve to stand beside you either. Not magically at least."

She curled inwards to hide against him, next words coming out muffled and quiet.
“It’s a me problem, I know. Sorry."

”Hey, hey!-” he shifted, tucking her into his arms and patting her on the hip for a little comfort.
”-Don’t go latching onto that as a statement, because I’aint meant it how you heard it. You heard ’It's your problem, I don’t care, help yourself.’ Which is not what I said. What I said was ’It’s a you problem.’ That implies that the problem is ultimately in your head, but it doesn’t imply that I don’t care or that it being a problem for you doesn’t automatically make it an us problem. It is an us problem now, because it’s on the table for observation. Right? You and I will get you to where you want to be. Whether you have questions about why you deserve it or not… I just love you so much, Trisha. Ain’t no way I’ll ever make you feel like you need to handle something all on your own. Because we’re here together, right?” he asked sincerely, getting nice and close to her so he could wash her in a comforting embrace.

Trisha nodded, taking a moment to actually absorb what he said. So that she actually understood and believed that he wanted to help… And so she could figure out what she wanted to say next. What did she try and walk through to help herself? She wasn't even sure. The goal was always to alleviate the clawing anxiety, but she never knew how to do it in a more permanent fashion.

“We are here together. I didn't mean to take it that way… That's not fair when you've always tried to help." She said quietly, curling up properly against him like it was somehow possible for them to get any closer. She felt safe in his arms… Safe enough to open back up rather than continuing the process of completely shutting down.

“It’s more than just my magic… But that feels like the worst right now. Everything else I'm used to feeling constantly undeserving of. With magic… it's not just because of what Leon said today. It's how people like Mia and Gin look at me, when I really don't deserve any of it. And then there's Cass… it's only been a month and she's already so good at it, because she's been working hard! Whereas I've been too anxious to talk to my ghost more and work out what I could do. I just feel like it's another thing I don't deserve to have and I don't know how to change that. I'm barely able to accept that I deserve you and you've told me that you want to be with me over and over again."

Casey frowned as he listened to what Trisha had to say. He’d heard about stuff like imposter syndrome, and he’d dealt with the idea of Blinds being treated more like useful cattle than actual people by his peers. He could understand why she’d be worried, he really could. But his only job in this moment was to get her out of that funk by any means necessary.

But how?! She was the perfect storm of self doubt. Everything was one big spinning wheel, where she could move from one insecurity to the next without even pausing. Like eternal whack-a-mole, he’d suppress one just to have three more pop up and taunt his own inability to prevent them. He knew that if he brought that concept up, she’d probably get it… But only if she didn’t miss the forest for the trees. She’d hear ’You’re too much to deal with.’, rather than something like ’I feel like a failure who doesn’t deserve you every time I can’t help you directly.’

One was a lot easier to hear. Because it's what she expected in her heart of hearts… Because they really hadn’t been together that long. How could she really trust him with that as the case? She couldn’t. The pit of her stomach would forever withhold the worst parts of her personality, until time eventually handed them the opportunity to drain that swamp. And all he could do was remain consistent, even if it didn’t fix what was wrong immediately. He had to believe, and trust that right now, just sticking around was enough.

”Then you’ve gotta figure out what your friggin’ standards are, Sweetheart! You won’t ever dispel any of those feelings until you figure out how to be satisfied with your own effort. Like, let’s just brainstorm for a second: What does a Trisha who deserves what she has look like?” he asked playfully, doing his best to keep it light so she didn’t think or feel like she was being ambushed and accused.

Trisha's brow furrowed thoughtfully. She'd never tried to think about what she had to do to be satisfied with herself. She always just assumed she never would be. It was difficult to see far enough ahead to imagine there'd be a time when she wasn't crippled by self doubt. She'd struggled to even imagine a stable future until recently.

“I don't really… know. My gut reaction is someone that actually gets results. Like good grades, a top degree, a proper job that could be bragged about… But those are my mom's standards. I'm not sure how to see my own beyond those."

She had them. While Maria had been a large part of why she'd ended up so lacking in self confidence, it wasn't all external. Even if she stopped feeling like she had to be the best at everything- something that just set her up for failure- she still wouldn't feel like she deserved what she had.

“I guess… Someone who really puts in effort to what she does and who doesn't just give up. But also it wouldn't just be effort for nothing. Someone who actually treats other people well and doesn't get touchy at the smallest things, or lash out. An actually nice person that people aren't worried to say things for and can rely on." It was only the tip of the iceberg. It was much easier to think of things she hated about herself than how she should be to no longer feel that way.

Casey snickered quietly. He knew what he asked was misleading, but that was the point.
”Is she… Tall? Blonde? Does she have massive boobies? Does she punch and kick her way through all the doors that the world presents to her?”

Practically swaddling her, Casey rocked Trisha back and forth in a gentle motion.

”Because I feel like the Trisha who deserves what she has looks a lot like the Trisha in my arms right now. Maybe she smiles more. See, all the stuff you mentioned? Changeable. With time, effort, and a lot of love, we can improve on every single point you made. But you’re never gonna look so different that you aren’t you. And you have what you have because something else said that you deserved it. So, let’s think about it in a different way.-”

He paused, taking her hands in his and playing with them slowly

”You’re smart. You’re capable. You know inside yourself, that you can accomplish your goals. You have a degree. You could find whatever job you want in your field. You are magical. Yet, your brain wants you to basically prostrate yourself in constant self-flagellation while telling you that the only thing you deserve is pain. But if that’s all you deserve, then why were you born rich? Why were you born intelligent? Or strong-willed? Why did you have the opportunity to break from the mundanity of your bloodline to join the ranks of the Paranormal spread across this planet? Life could make you suffer without ever washing those luxuries upon you. So why didn’t it? Because you’re not meant to suffer! You’re meant to struggle, maybe, and that’s what we’re in the midst of now… But, suffering? Because of this feeling? No, no… We can’t be like that. No. It’s a challenge. It’s life asking you to sort it out yourself. To find satisfaction in the cracks into which we’ve fallen, and to grow toward the sun as any plant would do. Remember, tree roots smash concrete.” he finished rather enigmatically, mentioning his favorite observation about the natural world and its functions.

Life, after all, would always push through obstacles. It was all they were really here to do. Struggle. Some did so just to live, while others did so to carve out their peace. He hoped for the latter.

Trisha's answer to all of his whys was luck. She didn't really really believe in fate in that way… Not like he did. Even when there was magic to see the future, she didn't entirely believe that things were just fated. Or that there was any kind of higher power that cared enough to decide how people were born based on what they deserved. It didn't help how she viewed herself, because even if life decided she didn't deserve to suffer… What was the decision based on? A past life she didn't even believe in?

But she could sort of understand what he was trying to say. About how she'd always be herself, and that any struggle was something to be pushed through to keep going. She knew deep down that more than changing all those problems she had, she had to change her outlook on both life and herself.

“I sort of understand what you're saying. Not all of it… I don't really see it the same way as me deserving those things just because I have them. But I get that this is just… Another struggle, right? To eventually love myself so that I can really grow and be happy, no matter what other negativity is in my life. It's really difficult for me to see how I'll get there or accept that maybe I won't be much different… But I know it's something I need to work on. A big challenge in my life, I guess. It's just really hard to start growing out of the crack I've ended up in, because every time I've tried it feels like I've been stomped on. But I should be able to without that affecting me, right? Or at least not stomp on myself too."

Casey shook his head.
”Not stomping on yourself is great, but… Honestly, Trisha? It’s a lot more like uh… It keeps raining, and the crack fills up with water. And you panic, because it feels like you’re drowning. When, in reality, the water will drain and whatever you got out of it will make you stronger. And, y’know, there’s plenty of crack! Like, I mean, it’s long. Someone would have to come and pave over it for you to not be able to just maneuver up and down it. A foot here, a bunch of sand there: But nothing’s here to pave over you. You’re growing out of the sidewalk, the town’s just gonna let you grow.” he smiled back at her, still comfortingly rubbing her hip and side.

“So I'm the only thing stopping myself from growing? Because I panic and feel worse about myself instead of trying to learn from it?" Trisha asked, trying to understand exactly what he was getting at with the metaphor now. She'd sort of understood before… Or maybe she hadn't…

”Well, kind of. But, like, rain comes from the sky. Shit comes from above you, and your world has walls all around it that block you from being able to see what’s coming up. To me, that makes it, like, impossible for you to do the growing. You can’t try and learn from shit when it all feels like you’re the last dwarf in Moriah. You’re too busy being in survival mode.” he suddenly referenced Tolkien, like Trisha had even read the Lord of the Rings.

Like she was the… What? Trisha looked up at him with visible confusion now.

“You’re right that I always feel like I'm in survival mode… But I don't really get the rest of it." She admitted quietly. While Trisha had gotten quite into reading when she finally didn't have constant studying to worry about, she'd never gone much into fantasy. It was difficult for her to enjoy when magic was actually real.

“Is it that I need to… let down my walls and accept help, or something?"

Casey nodded emphatically.

”If you feel like you’re all alone in a world full of monsters, you don’t run or fight. You just cower and wait for the next attack. Because that’s all that’s in you can observe. That’s all that’s real to you. But, you aren’t stuck. The proverbial crack isn’t a pinhole. You can maneuver; you can try something that doesn’t work, and pivot to something else. And, in the endless dancing, you’ll realize other people are stuck in the same crack you are. You’re not actually alone. You’re not doing this on your own.” he reasserted, taking a deep breath and letting her process that.

”Shit… I lost my point. I guess it’s all like uh… Y’know, don’t blame yourself. Don’t think you can’t change what you want. Oh! Time! Right, the fucking whole tree in the crack thing. The roots don’t just fuckin’ magically appear and start breaking concrete, right? You gotta grow! More and more and more, until you’re so big that you can actually ignore people stepping on you. That’s it! Your self confidence is the tree. Your efforts now are your roots trying to bust through the sidewalk so you can get all the room you’ll need to grow into the biggest, most beautiful maple tree on the planet.”

Trisha nodded, managing a small smile.

“You’re right… Even if it feels really hard to imagine now, I guess that's because I'm at the most difficult part. I've never really had the support so that I can grow… I've just been trying and struggling alone, feeling worse when I don't get anywhere. So… Thank you for being here." Her smile widened and she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

“You’re also probably going to have to tell me all of this again for the next thing I struggle with…" She admitted, self aware for the moment.
“But I'll do my best to grow little by little until I manage to get to a point where it isn't so easy for me to fall back down. I really want to be like that, even if it's hard. I don't want to let my anxiety and other issues control my life… I'm already a little bit better than when we first met. I managed to talk to you about it without panicking or getting too snappy…"

”Baby, you did a-” Casey stopped to kiss Trisha right on the top of her head, squeezing her tight and waggling his torso back and forth to nuzzle her.
”-fantastic job this time around. No fussing, no big crying or anything… You wanna think about your progress, I say think about this right now! Totally indicative of progress toward being the Trisha who you think deserves all your gifts.”

He finally leaned back, settling back into the comfy couch with little concern in the assumption that the problem was handled for the moment.

”Now, do you want me to pass off all the info I’ve parsed out over the course of the day? Or, would it make you feel better to do all of your own work when it comes to Queen stuff?” he asked with a gentle tone, not wanting her to worry about the fact that he was absolutely reading ahead of her.

Trisha took a moment to think about what she actually wanted as she shifted herself into a less curled up position, more languidly lying on Casey. Generally she wanted to do it all herself… But there was so much information to get through it would probably take her months. She needed to get to grips with at least some of what she could do before the end of the year. And she should try to get used to asking for help more.

It was just more efficient anyway.

“You can pass it to me. If I do it all myself it'll take too long, especially since I then have to use it. I don't think it'll be great for either of us if I end up hiding away for days trying to work on it by myself, forgetting to do anything else."

Happily, Casey slipped his free hand into his pocket, the other hand brushing Trisha’s hair away from her forehead before resting on the spot. What came next was a very slow stacking of jars that he’d been through. And with each empty jar he stacked, Trisha felt herself simply recognizing them. Each one individually spoke to her in a way that felt like she’d been holding her breath for years, then suddenly remembered how. The same feeling one gets after hearing a song that had been lost to them.

He’d obviously gotten into subjects he found useful. Again, mostly subjects having to do with transforming the bees, or breeding new types. Hundreds, no, thousands of different bee varieties, each one more exotic and specialized than the last. He’d peeled through each, hunting for the information necessary to make each one relevant, or not-so-relevant based on what he assumed their needs would be. Soldier bees the size of small dogs, Noble bees extending and regulating control over vast hive numbers. Even autonomous specialist bees, whom he related to on a deeply personal level as their jobs were those which only they could handle on their own. Bees with deadly toxins, or abdomens whose makeup allowed them to drop from the sky at bullet-like terminal velocity. Swimming bees, digging bees, teleporting quantum bees whose Purple Lux-like abilities still confounded him in spite of his complete understanding of them as creatures with purpose.

And then there was the section involving “activation and deactivation” of the bees as entities altogether. Something like a strange hibernation state, it seemed the Queen’s bees were all special enough to be able to take to ground, burrowing deep to where the permafrost wouldn’t get them, in order to stratify and hold in waiting for new commands. The same state could be induced without them getting the command to dig, which meant Trisha could theoretically hibernate entire hives at a time, storing them away for transport or in case of guests.

Casey had been hard at work, it seemed. And as he pulled away, all the information handed over to her, he smiled.

”I should’ve probably warned you about how excited I was to be able to learn about all this.” he giggled softly.

“Wow." Trisha breathed out, eyes glazing over and staring into the distance for a moment as she took all of the information in. It was so fast and easy… Natural like how she'd hoped it would be when the Queen first handed over her knowledge and power.

“You got through a lot… When were you even doing this?" Trisha asked, looking at Casey with a smile. After the talk they'd just had, she managed to push down the creeping feelings of inadequacy for once. He'd only done all this because he was excited to and had the magical tools to get through it. Trisha herself was still getting to grips with learning things that were already in her head.

“You selfishly went through all the exciting stuff, didn't you?" She teased instead of dwelling, reaching up to gently pinch his cheek.
“Knowing about all the different types of bees I can get means you can figure out beequipment for them, doesn't it?"

”There’s so much exciting shit. Uhh… Pretty much as soon as we were done, I started processing and logging it all in the back of my head. And, yeah. I know which ones can handle shit better, which ones to get you into the habit of developing over the others. I’m considering a Warhive. Somewhere whacky, where nobody would ever find or get to it. And we can pack it full of the real winners. I mean, a hundred-fifty thousand bee strong hive of any little creature would be devastating, but imagine a hundred-fifty thousand steel bees packing M60’s and LAW disposable rockets. Honestly, that’s a pipedream even for me. It was incredibly difficult securing all the equipment I managed to get for them this time.”

Casey could happily go on forever and ever about information they both knew. It was pleasurable for him, the crafting and theorizing about what would be most effective. He hoped it would allow them to explore the topic together in a way that helped her learn actively, and about important things. Like how to really utilize her bees to the fullest.

“I think by the time I make that many bees, they won’t be needed anymore.” Trisha giggled, smiling warmly at him. His excitement was contagious… Doubly so when it was over something important to her too. While she had a contentious relationship with studying, she did genuinely love learning about things that interested her. Her bees and magic were two of those things… Though Casey seemed even more enthusiastic than her.

“But a hidden hive like that’s a good idea, even if they’re not armed to the teeth. We talked about having at least one hive not in the Greenhouse, but hadn’t figured out where would work cause I’d need to visit it… But having one in hibernation means we don’t have to worry about it. It’s just there and safe for when I need it. Packing all of the more special bees in there makes sense too- since technically most species don’t actually produce edible honey, so I only really need my honey bees and their varieties to have access to the flowers.” She nodded, quite happy with that idea. Though she’d want to hibernate some honey bees too… Just in case. If she lost the whole honey producing hive it would ruin her business. Though, she really hoped that wouldn’t happen.

“What kinds of bees do you think would be best for that? The Warhive, even if the full thing is a pipedream.”

Casey didn’t have to hesitate. He’d come across these warforms early, so it was far more about determining force order and gathering equipment for them.

”Uh… I started naming them. The Queen’s knowledge only ever refers to bees as subjects from certain prefectures. But, you’ve seen her bees, haven’t you? The ones with the wavy bands? They have no need to gather, so they're all smooth and sleek. Like wasps. Hornets, even. They seem naturally militaristic, like she made the perfect bee soldiers, then just… Locked them away?”

An unnerving fact, that those hornet-bees had served as providence of the Queen, and had saved their realm without her divine involvement on many occasions. Yet, they seemed to completely disappear from the historic record of the Bee Empire not long before the Queen herself decided to abdicate the throne. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the two moments were somehow connected.

”There’s also the little ones from the place referred to as The Field of Armors. They're still fuzzy, but it's all supposed to be iron fibers, which they weave together into little armor suits that protect them. As far as I’m aware, they're projectiles. Set ‘em up on some self-propelled missile system, and we have guided, multi-use bullets. They’d form a screen around the hive, even if it'll be deafeningly loud.” Casey grinned as he thought about all the little metal bees.

“We’ll need to invest in some good earplugs.” Trisha laughed softly, smiling back at him. It was surprisingly easy for her to pull up information about the exact bees he was talking about. The iron bomber bees had to be grown, whereas the soldier bees could be transformed from her normal honey bees. Which was crazy to her… She hadn’t even known any could be made through transforming her honey bees until Casey passed over what he’d learned to her.

“I guess I’ll start with trying to make those two tomorrow. I have a pretty good understanding of how to do that thanks to everything you figured out… Nobody’s going to expect the proper military bees! I wonder if you can train the soldier bees, or if they just know when they’re transformed. I bet even if they do you can teach them something. Proper military formations and the like.” Trisha suggested, not thinking too hard about why those ones had disappeared in the first place.

If they hadn’t, the Queen probably wouldn’t have been sealed… But it was long gone history.
“Whereas I just need to target the fuzzy bullet bees. I really can’t believe I can make bees with iron fur… I know it shouldn’t seem crazy because magic, but I didn’t expect more than normal bees. Maybe ancient ones, but not actually magical ones.”

”Like the Borrowers? Actual bee wizards? I like that they form magical symbols with their bodies… I imagined a big, flying pentagram casting Red magic like they’re not bothered by it. But, I mean… Obviously, letting them feed off of a living Adept is pretty fucked up.”

Borrower was a self-explaning name, which if one understood their breeding process, would become all the more horrific. The Lux, it seemed, had to constantly flow. Some Adeptal prisoners held in captivity by the Queen and her court actually chose to partner with a hive of Borrowers, walking around as living hive boxes whose lives typically consisted of breathing and channeling. Only made worse when one realizes they did so in order to avoid a far crueller fate.

”Kind of takes what you’re doing with Cass to a whole new fucked up level. Those guys will be interesting anyway, probably. Just because, y’know, the whole Adept flesh thing. It definitely works similarly to how we utilize Apparitions to make Oblivium to eat, which means these guys are gonna have some seriously hearty and robust lives. I honestly think they’ll make great tests for the Beequipment I’ve made. It’s all, y’know, mostly small arms. And, if they behave like normal bees, then the software Gin cooked up will be immensely helpful.”

Trisha nodded, grimacing a bit when she thought about the Borrower bees. She’d meant pretty much any that you wouldn’t find naturally when she mentioned magical ones, but those were definitely the most magical. As much as that much power would be nice, she couldn’t justify the means to get it.

She was only alright with growing them like this because Cass so enthusiastically volunteered- and would have pressured Trisha until she agreed anyway.

“As far as I’m aware, they should. Or at least they should act like my bees, which isn’t entirely normal, but close enough. But I don’t really know, so I guess we’ll see when they’re born. Should be by the end of the week for the ones I did today.” She continued evenly, before biting her lip with a hint of nerves leaking through.

“We need to make sure Cass never finds out about the Borrowers. She’ll probably try insist she does it… I bet she’d even enjoy it in some fucked up way like she did the limb stuff. But that’s a line I really don’t want to cross.” She frowned for a moment.
“I guess even if she does find out, between you, me and Leon, we can probably dissuade her.”

Casey’s skepticism didn’t bode well for Cass having the chance to know about those things. As Trisha said, her candid attitude over parting with her own flesh wasn’t comforting to begin with. Now imagine she had the chance to have some kind of symbiotic relationship? Why bother going through it like that, when a Green Lux Adept of considerable power should theoretically be able to make their own bees?

Because, he was starting to understand; Cass was sick in the head. Not like Junior sick, obviously, but definitely some kind of sick that gave him serious memories of a few different soldiers he’d served with over the years. Kind people. Excited to do the right thing. But, ultimately fucked up. And sometimes, when they put themselves headlong into crazy situations, it worked out fine. But others ended in tragedy.

”We can’t give her the chance to try. I like her, and I like how much she loves you, but there’s no way I’m gonna let her pressure you into doing something that’s bad for her. It's just utter depravity that keeps that girl hunting for new shit to mess with. I just… It’s better if we lock those ones up. Those, and uh… Those fucking Lowland Bees.”

The Lowland bees he was referring to were a very special and high-energy toll species, who were in fact too fat to fly. Massive twelve and fifteen pound ground bees, with fur so thick you’d think they were walking shag rugs. One wasn’t bad, but like most honey bees, they loved to swarm and gather in massive football-field sized hives that often burrowed dozens and dozens of feet into the ground.

Their massive sizes only made their curious and precocious natures more threatening, as they had a tendency of swarming over whatever interested them like playful terriers. Playful terriers with massive spikes coming out of their rumps, and finger-sized mandibles. Not to mention the patented bee-ball behavior. Casey got flash images of piles of thousands of Lowland Bees absolutely swarming what looked to be a wolf creature similar to Lelou. By the time they left the corpse, it was smoldering and charred from the intense heat they were able to generate at the center of the ball.

”They’re… Frankly, they’re just too cute to be safe. Nobody is ever going to look at a single giant bumblebee and not want to hug it. So, when it tips the hive off and a fuckton of them waddle out to meet the new friend, things will get dicey.”

Casey frowned, knowing full well how badly he wanted a giant bee-dog pet.

”Maybe… Maybe if you made one, and kept her around you all the time, she’d be okay not being part of a hive. I’m honestly not sure, I have next to no idea how you actually affect them with your presence at a consistent level.” he shrugged, pouting slightly.

Trisha scratched her cheek, trying to think about what it was like with the current bees. While she didn’t keep every single one with her all the time, they all got fairly consistent time with her. At least until she moved them into the Greenhouse, meaning they didn’t get all the time she spent sleeping or just in her room to hang out with her.

“I can’t really say, because I’ve never had just one. The bees I have definitely grew more attached to me the longer I was just around them. I think it helped that during highschool, I was either at school or in my room with them studying. But they still had each other. I don’t know how feasible having her around me all the time would be now. Or ever, I like having time without bees.”

Though maybe it would be possible to train one of them in some way, so that she was content with a decent amount of time but not constant. Solitary bees did exist, just these ones weren’t. Maybe during the growth period she could adjust things to try and make some perfect combination.

“We can always try it when we move… And it doesn’t work, we get another big patch of land for a little hive of them, and cordon it off.” She smiled, reaching up to squeeze his cheeks.
“I’m guessing by the way you’re pouting you want one?”

Casey nodded, a frown on his face.
”Big eyes, cuddly, fluffy. You, in bee form. Well, maybe we can adjust her to being with the other smaller bees? Like having a friend who is seven foot tall when your whole friend group is only five and a half! Sure, she can’t really climb into their hives, but-”

He found himself blushing slightly at the idea of the big bee ruining a hive trying to crawl her chunky ass through a hole that wasn’t big enough.

”Well… Surely there’s things we can do. Maybe there’s even a way to assign her to me, so we can swap off custody duties.” he laughed, ultimately referring to the mythical giant bee as if it were already around, and part of their family. He’d left his turtle downstairs simply because there wasn’t enough room up here to keep the tank, so he figured it wouldn’t be fair to get another pet now… But, like Trisha said, when they move…

”We’ll come back to it. One day. For now, we should maybe come up with lists of desirable and non-desirable species. Like, the ones Where the Gorgons Reside?”

Talk about giant bees: Casey had an immediate name picked out when he came across these nasty pieces of work.
”I was thinking of calling them Gluttons, y’know ‘cuz of the mouths.”

Where Borrowers partook in the ritualistic residence and consumption of Adeptal flesh to maintain a hive, the Gluttons were far more demonic and monstrous due to their time spent in what appeared to be some kind of corrupted valley. These Gluttons clocked in at the size of children, sometimes hitting a hundred and twenty pounds with maws of razor sharp teeth, and two massive and unblinking single-lens eyes which stared at its surroundings searching for organic life to devour. With massive forceps, these bees would fly just out of reach of their prey with their mouths open wide, waiting for the perfect moment to dive and pin their target to the ground as their feast began.

Totally useless to them, the only thing the Glutton bees had going for them was their immense size, ferocious nature, and basic grasp of Apparitonal magic, which they used to secrete a gaseous cloud from where their stinger would be. This cloud has the added effect of being a searing, fully blinding capsaicin compound… Extra strength pepper spray.

“You’re not wanting me to make those ones, are you?” Trisha grimaced.

Their aggression and size would mean they could be useful for combat situations. Brutally so. But she wasn’t sure if she could handle bees like that, or wanted to let them loose in the world. It would be different if she knew she’d have access to the Greenhouse forever, but she figured after they moved all her bees would be living more naturally… She didn’t want to have bees whose nature pushed them past a normal predator and into something more sinister. At least the other dangerous bees were organised and unlikely to attack unless threatened or ordered to.

“I don’t think I could, no matter how much they might help now. It seems like I’d have to spend most of my time making sure they don’t… kill anyone…”

Casey nodded.

”Thats why they’re on the proverbial no fly list. We’re definitely not dealing with uh… Well, honestly, they’re probably evil. I bet, if they’re from the land of the Gorgons, then they’re uh… Well, maybe we call them Hades bees. ‘Cuz they’re Greek.” he spitballed.

Still holding tightly to Trisha, he smiled down at her.
”This is fun. Talking about it, I mean. The bees, and the knowledge. I honestly didn’t think I’d be able to carry it out, but I guess the Queen really doesn’t give a shit sometimes.”

“Yeah, she seemed to be more than happy to pass it all onto me and leave. She said the only reason she didn’t was because her resting was peaceful. I don’t really understand that, because now she’s sleeping more… It did feel like I annoyed her a bit by asking.” Trisha trailed off, shrugging. She didn’t want to get caught up in how she felt about the Queen’s abandonment. She was the one who’d chosen the option where it was all passed over, in the end.

“But I’m glad I get to learn it with you. It really is fun. I think I’d have enjoyed all of my studying more if I had someone to talk about it with… Though, math is a lot more boring! I don’t know if it can be made all that fun. I’m glad you’re so into all of the bee possibilities… It’s really cute.” She smiled warmly back at him, eyes creasing happily like a content cat.
“I don’t have to worry about getting super enthusiastic either, cause I know you’ll enjoy it.”

”It, and every other bit of you. You’re my world… So, I’m happy to sit and watch you spin and dance around the sunshine. I love you.” Casey replied simply, smiling and letting his face slide down slightly to kiss her. It was true, after all: He loved every little bit of her.

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

Tuesday December 12th.
Restaurant Cubain, De Château sur la Baie

Watching the busy drones of the Temple flit about to set up Cubain for the events of the night, Furio and Clarissa Natale leaned shoulder to shoulder with their backs resting against the bar.

”I’m not laughing anymore. Seriously! It’s no longer funny!”

Clarissa’s hair bobbed back and forth as her head snapped to the side in an evil glare. Yet, out of all the times to choose, Furio was laughing now. Drink at his lips, he was chuckling away. But there was the scent of cooking wood as the chunk of the bar he was gripped to for balance started to microwave heat under his palm.

”Too far past upset to get bent up over it. Just say your piece, and that’s it. It ain’t like this is for him anyway! It’s for Lee, and he’s done all he could.” Furio replied as he rolled the glass in his free hand, taking a sip of the whiskey inside as a breather.

”You’re a bastard sometimes, Foori… I could just strangle you.”
Playfully, Clarissa extended her neck as much as she could, gently resting her chin on his shoulder without moving in to actually kiss him.

Furio didn’t turn, just kept grinning. Though, the cooking scent wasn’t as intense anymore.

”Save that…-”
Glasses clanked across the hall, and there was a tumble before a crash. Furio watched as the champagne tower came tumbling down into a soaking wet mess all over the bay window side of the restaurant.
”-Come on, guys! What’s the matter with you, you fuckin’ nervous!?”

“Th-h-ere’s a c-cat!”

A massive, ragged Maine Coon cat to be exact, sliding out from behind one of the tables with a hiss, only to slide right back into another one and disappear entirely from the venue. At least, for that moment… Furio laughed aloud again.

”Alright, you got me. I’d probably’a pissed too. Just, hurry up! Clean it? Get it reset? I don’t care how you do it, just fix it. And make sure you get the banners set up, this place looks empty! What the fuck are we screwing around for otherwise? It’s like-”

”-Baby, honey, now you gotta chill. They’re up. We’re doin’ the thing, remember? Just gonna have everyone kind of gather in, then we’re gonna let them pop the thing! All the decorations come down?” Clarissa interjected, being sure to stave off Furio’s wrath from gaining incandescence.

And she was fantastically prepared to do so, knowing exactly what to say and how to say it through years of steering the nuclear warhead in and out of danger. He stared up at the beams in the ceiling, recognizing the little magical poppers in lines over and over again. Streamers, balloons, confetti, all trapped into a neat little package. You could easily fill them with bombs, or other hazardous materials in order to absolutely ruin someone’s day. He fantasized for a moment longer than was absolutely necessary, stepping himself down with the shake of his head.

”We should’ve done what we said.” he grumbled quietly.
”And what? Explain? She’s said her piece.” Clarissa replied, shaking her head and clearing her throat.

”She’s not thinking straight!” Furio did his best to retort, gritting his teeth.

”Oh you think so little of me, Furio… Even now, among those whom I’m supposed to be closest to, I find conspiracy. Why?”

Furio spun immediately, yet found nobody behind him. Nobody was at the bar they’d been standing at, and nobody was around the many scattered tables. Clarissa’s reaction was in response to him, her body spinning to meet him with concern.

”What? What, what’s-”

There was a screech from the back room. Young, feminine… Furio immediately broke into a sprint, hopping fully over the bar and wholesale smashing one of the tap systems with his hip and eating shit on the floor behind the bar… Where he’d find Lynette and his daughter Ivetta crouched in equally childlike positions, both giggling together and at one another as Furio slowly registered that it was just a prank.

”Oh… Sorry! The cat scared her!”

Ivetta cracked up even harder before moving on hands and knees to start hugging her Father. Meanwhile, Clarissa was now staring over the bar at the scene.

”Nettie… You ass…” she shook her head, half a grin coming across her face.

”I don’t know what you mean, Riss. It’s just the-”
As she spoke, that same giant, ragged maine coon appeared in an embrace in Lynette’s arms, and she clung to it like a doll.
”-cat! He’s so big, she gets surprised. You are the one who taught her to be afraid of them.”

Clarissa’s wry grin became a glare at her best friend as she gritted her teeth and cleared her throat. Meanwhile, Furio was playfully wrestling with his daughter when he heard the queue. They both did, really, a disciplinarian queue that forced them both back to their feet.

”I think you owe your father and I an apology? For going along with your Aunt’s little scheme?” she said at her daughter, glare in her eyes.

Ivetta kicked her own heel, hands behind her back as she looked down at the floor. More specifically, at her Aunty Lynette as she started to stand back up herself.

”Don’t let her make you feel bad for having a laugh at their expense, Ivy. They’re both far too uptight for their own good these days.”

These days… Clarissa’s jaw clenched shut as she thought about these days. Ever since Beppo Park, Ivetta’d been acting up more and more. She didn’t want to talk, either, which was never a good sign dealing with kids. She’d seen enough with Mia to know that this kind of behavior just led to worse shit further down the pipe. She was desperate to head it off at the pass, but Lynette seemed equally keen to leave her mark wherever she could before the time came. So, here she was, to leave a lasting impression of youthful fun and rebellion.

As she was spoken up for, the teen grinned smugly.

”Even Daddy thought it was funny, Mamma…” she chided, looking up at Furio who cleared his throat nervously.

”What’d I teach you about being a rat?” he snapped down at her. But, it was clearly in playful jest as his arms quickly snapped downward and scooped the girl up to throw over his shoulder.
”Now you go in the meat grinder! C’mon! Punishment, your mother says so!”
He managed the queue very well, taking them both away so Clarissa and Lynette could have a private conversation.

Still stroking the massive cat, Lynette stared at Clarissa with both eyes fixed on her own. The staredown.

”What?” Lynette asked calmly, almost goading Clarissa onward.

”I asked you as a friend. As a Mother. I remember hearing myself say it, I said ’Lynnie, please! Please, leave her out of it, because she’s gonna have a hard enough time here soon.’-” Clarissa paused, bottom lip trembling slightly.
”-And you yessed me to death. Since then, you’ve done nothing with her but encourage the bad behavior. The action against Furio and I… And you’re weaponizing her. You’re using her against us, and that’s not fair. It’s not! Because we-”

Lynette stuffed the Cat’s face in front of Clarissa, causing her to shout at the top of her lungs in fear as she flailed backwards in response. Her back smacked into the hard wood cabinets hiding most of the liquor behind strong panes of glass. Lynette’s smile didn’t drop in turn.

”And you’re still afraid of a little ol’ cat. What kind of Crone are you, Rissa? You can’t even take a joke? You think this is all so fucking serious?”

”You are serious! Our friendship is serious! The mental health of my only fucking child is dead serious!”

”Oh, so I don’t get the distinction of dead serious? I’m just, y’know, serious, my life is mildly serious, but her? That’s dead serious.”

Clarissa frowned.
”Don’t you dare…” she intoned remorsefully. ”You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

”Yet, you said it like that.” Lynette intoned in a rather hurt fashion.

This set a billion triggers off in Clarissa’s brain. Suddenly, the moment wasn’t about Lynette’s inability to stop herself from meddling. It was about placating her emotions. About feeling terrible that she’d said something to hurt Lynette in the first place. That she had been wrong about all of this to begin with.

”I’m sorry, I’m so sorry… I- Lynn… Lynnie? I-I know… I know you think that she should have fun. You’re right! We’re too hard on her. I’m too hard. I’m just nervous now! Especially with how things have been going, and-”

”Which nobody seems to care too greatly about. Since it hasn’t been solved.”

This again…

”You’re the one who warned against setting this place up!”

”I don’t want my babies killed!” Lynette asserted in a rather aggressive fashion, gripping down on the cat and causing it to gag.

”But if they go missing, the whole conflict spirals out of control. Thousands dead! Thousands if not tens of thousands more affected by the aftermath! We need to contain this!”

Clarissa and Lynette had been over this a trillion times, yet when Lynette sounded the claxon call to have it again, Clarissa responded with an immediate charge into headlong abandon.

”So, you’re saying that you really don’t care to find a better solution?”

”I’m saying there isn’t one! That what we have going on is the last option we have, because if we don’t take that one, then you’re just setting them up to win! And you know I can’t take the chance of losing you! I can’t! I won’t, Lynnie! I love you! And I won’t see… Can’t see you go away without me. I refuse.”

Lynette frowned and let the cat drop from her arms to scamper away before crawling into Clarissa’s arms and squeezing tightly around her.

”You still don’t ever seem to trust me.” she commented with a frown.

”That’s ‘cuz your plans are batty.” Clarissa admitted with a shake of her head, arms curling around her precious big sister figure. The woman who had given her everything, she felt.
”What’re we supposed to do without you? Dance to their tune?”

”Or suffer the burden we’ve seen, yeah… Feels like shit, doesn’t it?” Lynette calmly asked in return, eyes watering slightly at the prospect of death.

---

”Again with the parking at this place. When will anyone ever listen to me about what a nightmare it is to do shit in this part of town?”

Behind the wheel of the new truck that Leon had purchased him in thanks for his work, Casey felt like the tallest human on the planet. It wasn’t such a massive truck that it was obnoxious; an SUV that Leon joked about being safe for bees and babies in the Montana snow. But, given how tall he was, it just made the whole thing that little bit more elevated.

”And they ask me to get here early… That made me laugh. They know they’re gonna be here anyway, yet they want us there early. Like it should be your problem that they want to celebrate it.” he looked over at Trisha as he sucked a frozen latte from a straw in the dead cold of December.

They were stuck in traffic down the road from the Cubane, and Casey still wasn’t sure if there’d be parking in the downstairs garage. But the turn was still a few hundred feet away, giving them time to complain at one another like an already-married couple.

“She’s trying to make our life hell on the way out… Including mundane shit like being stuck in traffic.” Trisha intoned in response, giving him a little smile. It was more annoying for him than her, really. At least, them being stuck like this. She didn’t mind the extra time, just them.

The whole having to be there early thing was annoying. She didn’t want a celebration over the Dollhouse defeat and Sycamore safety. If it was for Leon, he should be the one going to set it up. Or, the ones demanding their attendance should! She wasn’t that happy about basically having to go in the first place. Her battery for large social events wasn’t exactly large in the first place, and had barely charged since the last one.

But at least she had Casey.

“If it was my choice, there’d be no big celebration at all. But I guess that’s why we’re just told to come early and not actually allowed to plan it. They know we wouldn’t want to bother.” She shrugged.
“Hopefully we can turn all the attention onto Leon during the actual party. He likes it way more than I do.”

”And anyone else who decides to show up, I guess. Hopefully enough to hide you away and we can scram early. The next episode of Dockworthy is supposed to be pretty juicy, and I just wanna sit and watch it…” he admitted coyly in reply.

At least they were on the same page about spending time together. He valued every second of privacy he got with his fiance… It was more than a pleasure for him at this point as well, rapidly becoming something he hoped to soak up his entire life. He felt odd not having her clinging to him in a half-nap state during the lows. He almost liked that best if it wasn’t such a sick thing to wish for more of…

”Unless you were really hung up on that other one you were watching…” he conceded.

“I’ll watch anything as long as it’s with you.” Trisha replied sweetly, squinting happily at him. For her, watching TV was still a mostly background thing… Something to distract herself with or to do with Casey. Though, she was beginning to actually enjoy what they were watching now. Or, allow herself to. It wasn’t like there weren’t televisions in the Vanburen household, or even Maria’s place. There was just the pressure from her Mom to always be working and doing something productive.

So it was nice that she could relax with him, and was beginning to be able to relax when it was just her too. Though she wasn’t sure how much that would last as she was coming more and more out of her depressive episode.

“Honestly, I’d watch paint dry if it meant escaping this and just getting to cuddle with you. If that’s what you want to watch, we can. If it’s juicy enough maybe I won’t fall asleep.” She laughed.

She was still catching up, after all. But it wasn’t like she planned to fall asleep as soon as they got home today. Actually, she had plans beyond just watching TV. Not that she’d told Casey… Because they were delayed surprise plans. Maybe it was a mistake to plan to propose after another event that could go wrong, but it felt more… right. The idea of escaping away together and then doing that. Even if she hadn’t been able to prepare as much as she had the last time, she just wanted to show her love for him like he had for her.

“Maybe we should start suggesting events have a ‘kids’ room, set up a TV there, and lock it so only we can get in. Then we can pretend to show face and escape for a while.”

”I… Really tend to doubt that would work. Mostly because Cass would hear us, and would want to come watch too. And then it wouldn’t just be us.”

There were a few different reasons besides that, but he was sticking to this one for simplicity sake. The last thing Casey wanted to get back into was the conversation about how the Temple wasn’t going to be around long enough to worry about that.

”At least we’re the masters of our own destiny soon. No more unnecessary events in our life.” he still managed to let the feeling leak out… But that was just the most exciting prospect for their future. And he couldn’t wait much longer.

“True… I can’t wait.” Trisha smiled at that. She really couldn’t. It would be worth all the pain over the next few months. She’d suffered enough over her life anyway, so what was a little more.

“Though… If Cass and Leon do end up in Montana with us, I’m not sure if our peace will last. Cass is the least peaceful person ever, and she’ll definitely end up bursting in all of the time. We’ll need to Cass entry proof our whole house.”

”She’ll make a fantastic assault drill… Y’know, the ‘in case of emergency’ protocols and all that.”
The corner was coming, and Casey hooked the right to travel down behind the building and up to the garage. This time, since they were both going up together, Casey and Trisha were able to leave the vehicle downstairs in a parking spot before making way to the elevator.

”Weird to think this may be the last time I ever see some people… Andrade’s planning on leaving… Did he tell you yet?” Casey asked calmly.

Trisha shook her head.
“Is that what he meant by my honey always having a home yesterday? And why he wanted to talk? I didn’t exactly want to deal with that today… But I guess I’ll have to do it soon, won’t I?”

She looked up at him, before shuffling close and leaning into him. Recharging in the short period it was still just them.
“I’m not surprised. I wouldn’t want to stay in the city if I was Andrade either.”

”It’s all the same, ultimately. For the best. But, yeah, I guess if he said that to you, it sounds like what he meant. Maybe not today; he’s got another week to get things settled before he takes the vacation and doesn’t look back. I… Am still torn about it. But, I guess Mom’ll be pretty hungry soon. We all will. That’s the only guy who can actually work with Oblivium gone from the Temple.” Casey shrugged, frowning.

”I don’t love the idea of starving people out, but it’s a tactic. The withdrawals will probably be pretty bad for most people.”

Trisha hadn’t even thought about that. She pressed her lips together into a thin line. She wasn’t empathic enough to care about the vast majority of the Temple, or Lynette. But Casey, and the girls? Those three already had it difficult enough, and she would struggle to see him suffer.

“It’s something people can get over, right?” She asked, still frowning.
“And for you… What are you going to do? If you can’t get the bread that helps with all the calories you need, are you going to… Try eating meat again?”

”We’ll be fine. I’ve got enough enriched flour stashed away. We already worked out a spot to keep more in wait for a transfer when we find some property… For now, I’ve got some here in the city. Enough to last a couple of months.”
He spoke so matter-of-factly, like everything was easily taken care of. It was, in a sense. After all, there wasn’t much anyone would be able to do except wean themselves off of the stuff like every other drug. He was mostly worried about the girls, given their predilections to begin with.

It was hard to imagine them not falling into the trap here as well. But the elevator ding’d, and the doors slid open into the lobby of the hotel across from the entry to the restaurant. There were friendly faces setting up the ambiguous “congratulations” banners, and Casey waved at them in turn as the two of them entered…

By this point, the previous tension had been somewhat dispelled. The trio of old friends were standing together watching as Ivetta danced with the cat in her arms in the middle of the room. Casey was rather shocked to see that, having known how careful Clarissa was dealing with cats. After all, any cat could be a Wampus.

Which, he knew this one was… And not just any Wampus. The beast mewed with excitement as the two of them entered the restaurant.

”And here I was, not sure you’d make it! Thank all of the Ancients!” The cat grinned up at them.

Casey did his best to ignore it, not wanting to deal with the pain in the ass that was his myriad traumas associated with this bastard cat. Yet, he couldn’t kick it in front of Ivy… So he just held Trisha tighter and kept stepping past it.

”Hey, you three… And you, Ivy!” Casey said simply, assuming violence wasn’t planned thanks to Ivetta’s presence.

”Your guys’ cat is so sweet, Cousin Casey. Auntie Lynnie says you guys have had him forever!” she beamed.

Casey only nodded politely, getting immediate vibes of ill will from his aunt and uncle. But, Lynette was as casually open as she seemed to always be these days.

”She says she wants her own!” Lynette laughed, opening her arms wide and collapsing them both around Casey and Trisha.
”My sweet babies… Are you both alright after everything? You’re okay, Trisha? The knowledge coming back isn’t painful, is it?”

Trisha reactively tensed as Lynette hugged them, doing her best to not have a worse reaction than that. She even managed to very weakly hug Lynette back with one arm, the other holding tight to Casey. It was better to keep the peace… Or go along with things as much as she could. She’d be gone soon, after all.

“I’m alright. It was more peaceful than I’d imagined.” Trisha admitted, not particularly worried about Lynette assuming the knowledge came back in some kind of good memory. It wasn’t like she was going to share the contents.

“I don’t have to worry about waking up to a murderous replica over my bed anymore, so I would say things are going alright. Even if getting here wasn’t easy.”

Lynette nodded her head warmly, taking a deep breath and smiling.

”That’s encouraging news! Then, maybe you’d do me the honor of coming along for a little walk? Just… To talk. Not what you think, really… I’m rather tired, and I know that soon it’ll be far more unlikely that we have the chance.” she asked seemingly out of the blue, and totally lacking in any prompting. Though, Clarissa and Furio seemed actively against offering greetings.

Casey still prompted them anyway.

”Am I… in trouble? You two?” he asked very simply.

”A little bit! But that can wait.” Furio’s head nodded at Ivetta, then motioned toward where Trisha and Lynette were speaking.

Trisha frowned a little bit, glancing back at Casey before looking at Lynette. Did she want to go for a little walk with her? Obviously not. But there was still that deep seated need to not appear like the worst person in the world. And in a way it was her fault Lynette was going to die, even if there were so many other people involved. Maybe it was the least she could do.

And, if it ended up as bad as all the other talks they had… How Trisha dealt with it would show if she’d really made any steps forward.

“Sure, alright. We can talk… As long as it really isn’t what I think. I’m tired too, and don’t have the energy to put up with bullshit right now.” She replied, turning her head to stare at Furio and Clarissa for a moment before her attention went back to Lynette again. She gestured with one hand, the way she nibbled at her lip showing the nerves she was trying to cover with a fake confidence.

The tension from Clarissa and Furio shook it more than anything. She knew Furio and Casey had been clashing… And was worried something would happen. But clearly, they didn’t want to talk in front of their daughter. But then… Would she leave, and they’d get violent? Trisha wasn’t sure, and that made her just as nervous as whatever Lynette may want to talk about. But she couldn’t do anything about them at the moment, so she only hoped this talk really wasn’t like all of the other ‘talks’ with Lynette.

“Wherever you want to… Walk.”

Lynette waved her hand onward toward the kitchen, guiding her through the doors until Casey was out of sight. It was immediately clear why Lynette wanted to guide Trisha away from the moment.

”Now, don’t get the wrong-”

”-Well then why the fuck did you acce-”

Lynette cleared her throat and shook her head before doing her best to slide Trisha further away from the noise.

”-ehm… Trisha… Those problems?-” she shuffled her hands backward at the yelling as Casey’s voice climbed to a height saved for pain and fury.
”-will pass. You see, I was, well- It doesn’t matter! I won’t be there, will I? To tell you how sorry I am, and make it up to him, and to them, and to see the children that come after. But, I know how you feel ultimately. What right would I have to see them? Even if I did apologize, even if I did repent. Would you ever really trust me?”

Lynette let the question hang in between them as she looked at Trisha expectantly. There was a bit of a difference between playful Lynette and whatever this was. She didn’t seem stressed, so much as she seemed like there was actual pain happening. Like she couldn’t bring herself to peddle the bicycle any longer. The exhaustion was in her voice. As she waited for an answer, she was almost anticipating Trisha’s response, her head gently moving from side to side in a rapid fashion that was almost subliminally pressing toward the ultimate answer… No.

Trisha didn’t answer immediately, frowning silently. She was visibly tense, but it was still just as much because of what they’d left as it was being alone with Lynette. The seemingly different Lynette didn’t make her feel any less wary. She was always the paranoid sort… It was why her answer could never be any different than what was expected. There was no point lying and pretending at that moment.

“No, I’d never trust you.” She admitted as calmly as she could.
“And I’d never let you be around my children alone. But maybe Casey would have convinced me to let you see them with him there. But it doesn’t matter, does it? Because it’s already too late.”

At least in her mind, it really was past the point of no return. The further she pushed her children, the less likely anyone was to want to save her. Not that Trisha had ever wanted to… Maybe Casey had.

Her head twisted around to look at the door they’d come through, concern clear across her expression as she got tenser. She didn’t want to be around whatever argument was going on, so she almost appreciated Lynette taking her away… But it didn’t stop her from being worried. There were two of them, and only one Casey. But surely… If their daughter was still there, it would just be shouting.

And as much as she didn’t trust Lynette, she at least believed she didn’t want Casey dead. Because the easiest way to prevent her own death would have been to kill Trisha, or Casey, in the first place, even if it cut off some possible magical reincarnation. But she hadn’t.

She turned her attention back to Lynette.
“Would you really have been able to make it up to him? Because you seem to be doing everything you can to make them suffer before you go. Any apologies from you would be empty.”

Lynette’s expression became flat in a confirmational nod.
”I can’t even begin to apologize. I just genuinely want you to know that I hope it’s a nice life. Fill it with good things, Trisha. Don’t let it get like this. I know, you think it must be hard getting to this point. But, then, you’ve got your own personal role models to let you know just how fucked up being a parent is. So, do better. That’s all I can hope for too. That you’re better than all of us combined, you two. I want nothing more than my childrens’ ultimate happiness. Even if that means making sure they see one last black stormcloud before the sun shines in.” she spoke calmly, clearly, and without any form of stammering or searching for the words.

The shouting was still going on, and she grimaced.

”I can’t wait for the quiet. Trisha… If I asked you, here and now, before anyone else had the chance to stop you… Would you kill me?”

Trisha’s expression wavered, flitting from as coldly neutral as she could muster to anxious and conflicted. Unlike the other question, there was no immediate easy answer. Would she?

She didn’t know. It would cut short the suffering Lynette was causing, and would continue to suffer until she died. Maybe it would save lives if she pointed out more sub-groups that needed to be removed. But could she really do it? Did she even deserve to? When she’d suffered so much less than Lynette’s own children and many other Temple members?

And what would happen to Casey outside. It would be an immediate, vengeful fight. They might kill him.

“Are you about to try and hurt Casey? Or kill him?” She asked back, managing to keep her voice even.
“I doubt it. So, no. I only kill to protect. You’ll have to wait for the people who really hate you.”

Then a thought crossed her mind, and she almost smiled.
“Or, if you’re that desperate, ask Cass. She would.”

Lynette’s head turned downward slightly, a wry smile crossing her face as she began to snicker.
”Yeah… She wasn’t really in the cards, that one! I’d never been too concerned with whether or not Leon would wind up all that happy, so… I suppose it really is just another reason to be thankful that you’ve come along. Y’know, it’ll be that attitude that makes you a wonderful Matron. You stick to your guns! Remember, a decision made is a decision paid: You will reap every single seed you decide to sow, whether you wanted it to be there or not. And that lesson alone is enough to keep you from being like me. Or, y’know, like your mom. Who, may I add, is a vile wretch! Trying to get in touch with her was like being beaten with a metal whisk. No wonder you’re so prickly.”

She still didn’t seem to have any trouble yapping away as she’d always done… Plenty of time for the argument to begin cooling down in the other room. The shouting was far less intense, and even less frequent than it had been…

”My point was: There will come a day when a decision must be made. And it will be hard… And you won’t make it. Prepare yourself… Because things could really tumble out from under a person when they don’t have the guts to make a hard decision.” she smiled now, nodding her head.

Just as Clarissa slammed the door open.

”We’re leaving, Lynnie. You come, or you don’t, I don-”

Lynette threw up one hand, and one finger upon it. Still, her gaze was on Trisha.

”If only things were different. I really wish they had been. But what is, will always be. Goodnight, Trisha. And, congratulations on the End of Night.”
Lynette backed up a couple of steps before turning on her heels and following Clarissa out of the door, leaving Trisha all alone for the moment.

As soon as there was no one else in the room, the tense string keeping Trisha upright and rigid- as if confident- snapped. It wasn’t towards relaxation, but more a crumple, leaning against one of the counters and covering her face with her hands.

It hadn’t been that bad, as far as talks with Lynette went. But of course, she threw shit on Trisha on the way out. A hard decision… that she wouldn’t make? It could mean a lot. Could be some major fuckup she’d make in the future. She wouldn’t even be surprised. How was she even supposed to prepare herself for something like that? Just thinking about it had all her insecurities crawling up her throat, trying to devour her.

It wasn’t helped by the mention of Maria, no matter how brief or scathing. The Mother she wasn’t able to get into contact with either… Who she’d try her best to never be like. But she was more worried she’d end up like Lynette. A clingy, emotionally manipulative mother that needed pacifying by her own children…

I was doing so much better. Stop thinking about it.

She rubbed her eyes, frowning and taking a deep breath. She should go back out to Casey, so he didn’t worry. But she was still struggling to get out of the loop she got stuck back in- past failures, future failures. Constant failure. It wasn’t even that she wanted to hide it from him by only coming out when she wasn’t visibly conflicted… She just couldn’t bring herself to move as she tried to process it.

But it didn’t take Casey long to barge into the doors that they’d left through, immediately scooping her into his arms as if they’d had iron bars in between them for days on end. His arms kept her tight to him, hands slipping up to rub the back of her head in a comforting motion as he took deep breaths in and out.

”Are you okay? Trisha?” his voice was full of supreme concern and infinite love as he practically searched her for wounds or shakes. Anything showing any sort of discomfort, all he wanted to do was ease it…

“Just defusing the bomb Lynette left behind.” She responded, without much hesitation. She buried into his arms, hugging him back and taking her own deep breaths in tandem with his. His appearance was enough to pull her out of the downward spiral before she fell too far.

It hadn’t even been that bad, and she was still struggling with it. She really had a long way to go.

“Something about the future… A hard decision I won’t make. It wasn’t even bad until then- until right at the end, when she mentioned my Mom and said that. I guess it’s not a conversation with Lynette if she doesn’t try to make me doubt myself… Not that that’s hard.” She was fully honest for once. It wasn’t something she could even try hiding, and she wanted Casey’s comfort more than anything. None of it was exactly new.

She was lightly trembling, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been before. Nowhere near a full blown panic attack. Just normal anxiety and doubts brought back up… Not enough to stop her from tilting her head up to look at him with her own concern and love.
“But what about you? I heard a lot of shouting.”

Casey already found himself in a new conundrum. Again, this was supposed to be a celebration for Trisha, Leon, and whichever other Sycamites decided to show their faces. But others had to make problems where they shouldn’t exist. He had known there was sincere animosity building up since he’d been handed the reins; and that Clarissa and Furio had imagined he’d come onto the seat and curtail the efforts of dissonant parties.

He’d obviously achieved the opposite of that. Which meant that the animosity and resentment was only growing. They felt lied to. Cheated. As if he’d bamboozled them, and finessed the seat out from under Furio as if he hadn’t wanted to step away. He did... And he’d admitted that to Casey openly and freely. But, he’d expected an effective successor, not one whose dereliction of duty was a purposeful assdrag to allow the Temple to fold up like a wet rag.

”I’ve been reassured that if anything extreme happens to Lynette, I’ll be the first one to experience consequences. And that whatever is given, I should expect to receive a thousandfold. Which is a cool ultimatum in my head, because it’s like… They still seem willing to put it all behind them if I start doing what I’m supposed to do. I’m not gonna. But, it's still nice to think that their hearts aren’t against me. Just so passionately protective of their good friend that they’d do anything to protect and avenge her if need be.”

He hated telling her stuff like this… But it affected her too. This time, majorly.

”I’m sorry… I’m not gonna let you go, and I know you wouldn’t want it… But this whole situation puts you in a significant amount of danger too. It’s not like the unknown of Father Wolf, but when it all goes down, they’re not gonna spare you. Here’s hoping that it’s just one last fight for our lives…” he fully admitted to her, not able to leave anything significant out.

Trisha frowned up at him, body tensing. But she didn’t look more panicked than she had before, her eyes narrowing in something closer to anger. Of course they wouldn’t let something like that go. She understood being protective of a friend, and being destroyed by their death. If Cass died… She’d struggle a lot. But if someone killed her in a situation like this, would she really go after whoever it was and risk her own life? Kill someone else?

Maybe… but Casey wasn’t even the one who was going to kill her! It pissed her off that they were willing to destroy their future over the downfall of a woman who’d dug her own grave. Their own too!

“So they want two more people to die no matter what. And more if they win, I guess?” Her hands dug into his back.
“I’m going to need to really start training more. With my magic and… I should get better with a gun. Maybe we need to train together. Because if they’re going to come after you- it’ll be us! And they’ve been married so long… We did well against that assassin, but we’ll need to be better than that, won’t we? I’ll need to get stronger because if they really want to hurt you… they’ll try kill me first, won’t they? I won’t let them. And you’re right, I won’t leave you either.”

Casey held her close and tight while she worked out what she felt was necessary. He didn’t entirely disagree, in that it’d be a far better prospect if she was just a little bit more prepared… But, it was mostly a matter of class. The fact of the matter was that even if they didn’t have a matrimonial bond as a fighting pair, even if they’d not spent their entire adult lives training together and learning how best to use their abilities in tandem; they would still be two Master level Adepts with practical paranormal combat experience that totaled up to probably thousands of hours between the two of them. It’d be intense training for him… But, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for her? If the Queen cared enough, there was always the chance that she’d come to their aid.

And if she was anywhere near as healthy as she had been in her heyday, then there was a high chance that her influence over Trisha would be enough to spur them toward victory. After all, he knew that he had the expertise and understanding to defeat Furio in a closed setting without interference. And he was fairly certain he could get that plenty of times before things got bad… But why escalate before it was necessary? Why be who they are, and do the thing that they’d do to anyone else? It’d be ironic, sure… The two deathdealers of the Temple being assassinated by an efficient and animalistic killer with little regard for the brutality caused to them. But, what would Lynette do? What would the security department members still loyal to them do in return? Casey bet the answer had something to do with the poor Aberrations still left in limbo over this whole debacle. And they didn’t deserve to die because he wanted to spare himself the troubles.

”It’s all twisted. Frankly, it’s fucking stupid. They supposedly love me… So they’ll wait and hope I do the right thing… Right in their eyes is to put a stop to whatever’s in motion. Yet they’re so willing to utilize violence on their own terms! I don’t fucking want this to be this way! And, y’know, if they die… What the fuck happens to Ivy!? There’s a fucking teenage girl in the middle of this, and… What? What the fuck are we supposed to do at that point?” he grunted in frustration, not sure of where to start with the issue.

“It’s fucked up.” Trisha agreed, frowning more. It wasn’t like there was anything she could say to fix that situation. They had a daughter… And they were still choosing this path. Maybe they were so confident they’d win that they didn’t even think it was an issue! But… Her and Casey deserved to live too. They shouldn’t have to die just because Casey refused to uphold an oppressive system that got loads of other people killed.

All she could really do is hope to alleviate any guilt he may be feeling about it.
“They’re choosing vengeance over their daughter which is… Fuck. It won’t be your fault if they died because- We don’t want to fight. We’re not starting it. If they don’t try to kill us… I guess they’ll still be a problem but… I don’t know. We just have to do the best we can. If they do and we kill them… We’ll have to… Deal with the consequences and make sure she’s looked after…”

It wasn’t exactly a burden Trisha wanted, and it was a struggle enough to not just ignore the problem and get pissed at Clarissa and Furio deciding murder and death was more important than living for their daughter. But Casey was a good person and she wanted to be better for him. That meant not leaving a teen girl with nothing if they had to kill her assassin parents.

”I don’t doubt she’ll be looked after. If nothing else, Elise intends on continuing things in some fashion. Maybe the structure to maintain her care will be there. Or, who knows… Maybe we inherit a fifteen year old girl, and we have to raise her the rest of the way. As long as she doesn’t realize what happened exactly, I don’t imagine she’d be a bad kid to live with.”

It was a rather morbid concept, but so was Furio and Clarissa choosing death over peace. Whatever was going to come next would be painful and difficult to deal with, but if they planned on living through it? There was nothing else to really do but deal with it all the same. Child or not, assailed or not, life didn’t stop just because things were hard. In fact, in Casey’s experience, things always got worse when the going got tough. It wasn’t something to look forward to… But, it also wasn’t something to back down from. The challenge of life…

All he could do was hug Trisha a little tighter.

”I was assured that I’d have the freedom to make the right decision. That things are fine until they aren’t anymore. So, yeah… We’ll start tomorrow. No questions, either. We’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do. And, honestly? We’re getting Leon involved. I’ve said before, but you two can connect on the level of Adjoined. Your Apparitions even know one another. If that’s not motivation enough for our fuzzy lady, I don’t know what will be.” Casey asserted, taking a deep breath and pulling away slightly to look down at Trisha’s reaction.

Trisha pursed her lips, not exactly looking happy about it. But she did nod. She’d said she was willing to try with Leon… Just, training was the kind of thing that had happened back in the day. Chaotically, but it happened. Leon was always an asshole… But it could be different. And she wanted to live and keep herself and Casey safe.

“Alright. I’ll need Cass to grow me a lot of limbs to grow more bees in anyway… So it’s only fair he gets involved too. I said I’d try with him… We both agreed to be patient, so it won’t be like it was back then.” She nodded again, not particularly convinced but still willing. She had to be.

She bit her lip, brow furrowing with a hint of confusion in her eyes as she looked up at Casey.
“There’s something I don’t really understand. Lelou spoke to the Queen with deference, and Leon’s so magically strong, but I’m… Not. I guess it’s because she’s not always sleeping. But it’s been twelve years. Surely an Ancient Apparition should have some strength back?” She huffed slightly, before managing a slight smile at him.
“That’s not really a question for you, is it?”

Casey shrugged, but didn’t want her to think he was indifferent over it.
”Being with you helps me sleep… Maybe she feels the same? She’s had a long life, and from everything I understand, she was in charge of a massive kingdom at some point. Surely, you get tired of all the responsibility, all the effort, all the time spent needing to defend yourself and your people from things like Lelou, or the Snake, or whatever the Hell else… But, if we think about it like that… Twelve years ain’t a lot of time either, is it?” he asked simply, trying to take everything into account.

“Not for her, no.” Trisha responded, after a moment's thought.
“It’s half my life… And barely any of hers. Maybe when she adjoined to me she just assumed she’d have a nice body to sleep in, and someone else to look after the bees… And she does, mostly.”

It wasn’t exactly easy to understand how an Apparition felt, even though Trisha knew she could technically ask. Their relationship had gotten a bit closer in the last month, but not to the point Trisha felt comfortable just going to the Queen about things. Though she’d have to… When they started training. Not tonight.

“I’m sure she’ll be willing to lend me more if she knows it’ll only be for a short period. Then, she’ll get all the rest she wants, and the bees will get a nice place to live. It’ll be a win-win.”

Casey nodded calmly. His hand climbed gently to brush against the top of her head to begin rubbing it comfortingly.
”Whatever happens… I’ll protect you. Whether the Queen does or not, I’ll give everything I have to make sure nothing takes your life. I promise.” he asserted, taking a deep breath as he let his magic flow outward into the restaurant.

People were starting to show up. Other Temple members invited in, who were always early arrivals. Mia and the girls, with Gin and her brother in tow. Norm and Theo, and a few other Cannery residents. Putting banners and balloons up, looking for Casey and Trisha. Someone warded them off, said something about the situation, and everyone but Gin seemed to be willing to follow the boundaries set.

”Is there room for me in that hug?” she asked very simply as she pushed through the swinging doors.

Trisha took a deep breath herself, properly clinging onto Casey for just another moment. It looked like their alone time was over… But at least it was just one person for now. They’d get through the evening, and then be alone again after.

“Sure, as long as you don’t expect any loving gazes like we give each other.” She managed to joke as she pulled away from Casey slightly, but not fully out of the hug. There was still a bit of tension in her frame… But there almost always was. It only ever seemed to go away when it was just them, somewhere safe. Home, normally.

She wasn’t rejecting Gin, though. Now that she was more out of her low she was back to trying when it came to hugs with other people… Desensitising herself to it.

Without magic like Casey’s, she couldn’t tell how many people had arrived. She could just guess it was more than Gin.
“I’m guessing that’s our quiet time over?”

”Nah, it’s just me. I’m chillin’.”
Without much fuss or effort, Gin slid right in between Trisha and Casey, both arms wrapping as far as they could. She took a long, warm sigh.

Casey giggled, looking up at Trisha with a playful pout.

”Ain’t it nice to be loved, Babe?” he asked simply, rubbing both of their shoulders as they got close.
”But, yeah… More people are here. My sisters, uh… Some of the security guys. Gin just ignored what the others were saying about giving us a bit more time to come out on our own.”

”Ain’t no mountain high enough to keep me from gettin’ to you two.” Gin replied in a calm, collected voice. She seemed to be melting against the two of them, like that was the only place she wanted to be.

“Of course she did.” Trisha intoned, though she didn’t sound annoyed. She was surprised that she wasn’t. Maybe she was getting used to the intrusions and people being around… Or more likely that she’d prepared herself for a night full of other people that she was taking what she could get in time alone with Casey. She hadn’t expected much of it until they got home later.

“At least you’re quieter than Cass, the other mountain climbing, boundary ignoring intruder.” She continued with a light laugh.
“But I guess we need to start thinking about going out? Before even more people arrive, and it gets more awkward… God forbid Cass gets here and barges in and stretches her arms extra long to get around us all. That would-”

As if on queue, the doors swung open wide, practically slamming against the walls.
”I heard my favourite couple’s hiding away in heeerreee. Oh- And Gin!”

Cass bounded over to them before anyone with non magical reactions had a chance to react, leaping up to hug them all. She didn’t stretch her arms like Trisha had said, but she did lighten herself so she could body slam into them without actually doing any damage.

The lump of humanity simply bobbled slightly at the added weight.

”Babe, you couldn’t- Fuck…” Leon rushed in not but a few moments after her, a big frown forming on his face.

Casey looked at Cass, then past her curls toward Leon. He couldn’t help but smile at the feeling of love. His hand popped out, inviting Leon into the group hug. He laughed in return.

”Nah, it’s okay Bro… I heard what you guys were talking about, we can just pull out for a little bit longer. Come on, Cass. Gin.”

Gin shook her head.
”No can do… Not unless Trisha says so.” she replied, looking up at Cass for confirmation.

”Uh… Yeah! Not unless Trisha says so!” Cass echoed, mostly because she was all too happy to keep clinging like this. Though, if Trisha really wanted them to leave, she would.

Trisha squinted at Gin.
“Why me? Why not Casey?” Why did everyone suddenly want her to be in charge of decisions?

She took a deep breath in, managing to ignore her uneasiness over being trapped in a group hug for soaking in the feeling of… People wanting to be around her like that.
“Well… Normally I would say so, but since it’s Cass’ birthday, I’ll be nice. Happy Birthday, by the way, Cass.”

”Thanks- though today ain’t about me! That’s why you get to decide shit… I think? Oh, but then Leon also should, cause he’s also from Sycamore… Oh, fuck, this is why we shouldn’t celebrate multiple people! Shit gets messy!”

“It’s not like it’s a celebration where we boss people about… And he was trying to get you out for us. Which, uh, I appreciate. Thanks Leon… Even if we’re alright now.” Trisha couldn’t actually look at Leon because of Cass blocking her vision completely on that side, but hopefully he’d get that she meant it genuinely. That they were alright maybe wasn’t right, but she wasn’t going to feel particularly comfortable knowing there were all these people waiting for them outside, no matter what. It was better to rip the bandaid off and go back to comforting each other later.

And she did love Cass, and was beginning to have a similar feeling to some of the other people in her life. Such a large event wasn’t for her, and she did want to escape when possible, but she’d try to enjoy the time with those people as much as she could.

”We’re celebrating the end of an old chapter, Cassie… I already told you that!” Leon giggled as he made his way closer to begin peeling the barnacle off of the group hug so it could break up.

Having gotten used to the ways he could influence her, Leon was quick to let his lips fall upon her neck, kissing and embracing her until she had no choice but to loosen up and unlatch. Carrying her like a stiff object, Leon turned his body in order to fully separate Cass from them. Gin patted Casey and Trisha on the backs, then stepped away herself.

”Also, Casey’s got no problem with me hugging him for a while. You do. Ergo, it’s your decision. Purely practical.” she beamed up at Trisha.
”It’s got nothing to do with your status… Matron.” she winked.

”Who the Hell even told you that!?” Casey barked, furrowing his brow down at Gin.

She just looked back up at Leon, then at Casey and Trisha again.
”C’mon… Let’s just go out. Besides, uh…-”

Gin finally directed their gaze out at the kitchen. And at the dozen or so people toiling away and desperately wanting to get to the section of the kitchen they were occupying, but clearly too polite and well trained to interrupt them for logistical reasons. Casey had been aware, but what else was a position like his good for but absolute respect. They’d wait, and they’d wait as long as he wanted them to wait. It was their event, after all. If the hors d'oeuvres were fucking burned because they couldn’t get to the ovens? Oh well.

Casey nodded toward the door, letting Trisha take the first steps toward it at her pleasure.

”And more importantly than that, I want drinks!” Cass shouted, having easily adjusted to her new position clambering on Leon rather than a group of people. Though she did start climbing her way back down him as they seemed to actually be making moves towards leaving.

Trisha glanced at the various workers actively avoiding their area. She hadn’t even realised, and now that she did she felt bad… But she wasn’t the one that had chosen to come in here in the first place. It was fine. They were leaving now anyway. Definitely leaving… She couldn’t comfortably stay now!

She reached out for Casey’s hand as she started shuffling towards the door, making a shooing motion towards the others with her free one.
“Alright, let’s go out and socialise with everyone… And get a drink.”

”Uh, drinks! I said drink! I’m having multiple, thanks!”

“I’m not stopping you just cause I’m only having one.” Trisha quickly shot back.

Cass grinned, finally detaching from Leon to hop backwards and open the door with her back for the rest of them.
”Good! Cause I plan to actually get drunk tonight… It’s only fair, since my birthday’s been hijacked! Not that I care… But y’know how much it takes for me to get drunk now?! I ain’t had the money for that since I kindled!”

---

One Hour Later

”Shots, shots, shots, shots!”

“I am not doing shots.” Trisha grumbled, as she was physically dragged towards the bar by her friend. She never did shots, because it was a one way road to her blacking out soon after. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to get drunk at all.

”You don’t gotta, but you gotta watch me do ‘em!” Cass shot back with a grin. She hadn’t even bothered to grab Leon or Casey like she had Trisha… Because she assumed Leon would follow her, and Casey would follow Trisha like a lovesick puppy!

A correct assumption, considering they did follow.

”You’ll do shots with me, right, Lee?! What about you, Casey?!”

Casey didn’t exactly indulge often. He valued his sobriety when it came to the overwhelming effects of alcohol poisoning, and rarely had a mind to get utterly wasted. That being said, of all nights, tonight was the last one he’d probably have the confidence to get wasted during. Thus, even though Trisha had been so good about it, Casey had polished off six pints and a few shots already.

Leon was a remarkably good big brother about the situation, and hadn’t done much to leave his brother alone. Mostly because he was worried: The situation during the raid had brought back a lot of bad memories for the both of them, but it deeply affected Casey in a way that Leon only assumed he wasn’t interested in talking about. Which made sense: It was a situation he’d been through enough during actual wartime. If it hurt Leon to think about now, it was probably still killing Casey. He was good; he didn’t overly share or talk about it constantly. But, that same behavior meant that nobody but Casey could ever know what was going on in his head exactly.

At least Leon could enjoy getting drunk. He had an infinitely running purge system, with Lelou happy to take every bit of ethanol she could get in order to drown her own frustrations out. Thus, he wasn’t trashed, but he was drunk… And compelled to drink as much as he was allowed.

”Obviously!”
”Obviously!”

Casey was good about holding it in, at least. An hour for six pints and a couple shots was nothing in the grand scheme… A dangerous pace to set a precedent for. But, he seemed to be able and willing to get up from the table they’d been sat at, with plenty of people crowding them by chance and clearly wanting to interact with a few of the Sycamites who decided to show up.

”How much’ve you drunk, Casso? Cass… EEEEEEEeeee…” Casey giggled to himself, elongating her name to a ridiculous degree.

”Uh… Like, five double vodka cokes?” Cass did a quick count, laughing at the clearly already pretty smashed Casey.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t quite there yet. The frustrating thing about having to constantly use her magic, was that it was constantly eating whatever fuel it could get! Alcohol was just less effective! And she was purposefully not casting any negate alcohol effect spells! Thus, the plan to do a shit ton of shots. She’d hoped the mixed drinks would work, but she was just too powerful…

“Not as much as you, clearly.” Trisha intoned, in a way that made it difficult to tell whether it was joking or serious. But as they reached the bar and Cass let her go, she immediately made her way to Casey and pressed into his side… So it had to be a joke. She was too clingy to be upset.

In the time they’d all had their many drinks, Trisha had only had a pint and a half. Which wasn’t much in comparison, but was enough to push her into tipsy territory… And not far from drunk. The start of possibly dangerous territory when it came to her mood. Which was why she didn’t really want to get that drunk.

”Aw, that’s an unfair comparison! He ain’t got the alcohol eating magic! And look, he’s still standing! His sense of humour’s just gotten more simple!” Cass laughed, pushing up onto her tiptoes to fully look at all the bottles behind the bar to try to decide what kind of shots she wanted.

“I don’t think it’s changed much?” Trisha tilted her head up at Casey, smile making it much more obvious she was teasing this time.

Casey gave the only kind of goofy grin in response that he could possibly give. He didn’t much care if she was upset or not. There was a tablet in his back pocket that would fix the problem. He intended on popping it in a few hours, but just like Trisha, being in this roiling pile of humans made him anxious and nervous. Two problems very much solved by a poison that took away one’s social inhibitions.

Leon was easily able to saunter behind the bar, walking the line back down toward his baby Coven until he turned his head and saw a frowning face not doing a whole lot. And it was that face that really hurt him… Because of course she wouldn’t want to be celebrating right now. If she wanted anything, it was to be away from this place.

”Linqian?” he said downward, looking at her sitting without recognizing that she was also surrounded by friendly and warm faces.
”You gonna make it, dude?”

”No. I’m going to kill myself right here, where I’ll traumatise the most people.” Linqian barely skipped a beat in responding sarcastically, slowly tilting her head up to look at Leon. Her eyes were hazy enough that it was clear she was also already drunk, a good way through her current drink.
”Since when did you-”

”Holy fuck, Lin, you can’t just say that shit! You’re lucky Pa’s off chatting to some other boring old men, or he’d lecture your ear off.“ The young man closest to her, and who seemed to be keeping an active eye on her, jumped in, nudging her with his elbow. He was tall enough that he sat a good head taller than Linqian, and notably wasn’t drinking… Lucien, Andre’s oldest. Louis, his other son, was part of the friendly gathering around Linqian- and him and his friends the source of most of the noise.

”So? He could be fucking listening in for all we know, and it isn’t like his lecturing’s ever made me change shit.” Linqian shrugged one shoulder, attention turning from her childhood friend- though they’d drifted the last ten years- and back to Leon.
”I was gonna say, before I got fucking interrupted… Since when did you fucking work behind a bar, Leon? Or you just grabbing yourself a whole fucking bottle?”

”Well… I was just going for a bottle. Care to join us? I wouldn’t call it celebrating, so much as just drinking for Cass’ sake.” Leon indicated down the bar with a nod.

Cass was still pressed up as far as she could be on the bar to see the bottles, rather than just enhancing her eyes to be able to see… Well, she could’ve been doing both for all Leon knew. She was just like that, after all.

”Obviously, it's a free invitation, Loosh. How are you, bud?” Leon thrust his hand out to Lucien.
”Been feeling alright lately?” he asked, desperate for a little bit of small talk rather than suddenly dealing with his and Linqian’s shared loss. Greyson wasn’t a good man, but he was good enough to them… It was hard not to mourn. Harder for her, obviously.

”Yeah, not too bad. Y’know how it is… But most days have been good recently. Though, that just means the days of fatigue are coming up.” Lucien replied good naturedly, grinning as he gave Leon’s hand a friendly slap rather than some shit like a handshake.
”If you’re offering, we’ll join! Anything to be away from my annoyingly loud lil brother.”

In the distance, Louis stuck up a hand and a middle finger towards Lucien- easily picking up what he said thanks to his Green Lux. Lucien just laughed.

It seemed strange from the outside that he was the one with the shame, when it tended to go hand in hand with hyperactivity. Both Makoumbou boys were easy going, but Lucien was much more chill. Now at least. Linqian could easily remember how crazy he’d been when they were younger. He’d gotten on more with her than Jinhai then because of it… It was a while after they’d left he chilled out.

Maybe because of the Shame’s effects.

Linqian looked between Leon and Lucien, before letting out a slight groan.
”If you’re gonna fucking force me like that, fine.”

”As if I could force you to do anything.”

”You fucking forced me out of bed today. You and Louis literally teleported into my room, so quit talking shit.” Linqian rolled her eyes, downing the rest of her drink before slipping out of her seat.

Lucien held up his hands, grinning.
”Guilty… But you’re glad you're out, aren’t you?”

Linqian’s head tilted towards the side, glancing at the group she was being dragged towards. Totally against her free will. Definitely not appeal in spending just a bit of time with people who might actually understand… Well, Trisha probably wouldn’t. But at least she’d understand the Sycamore shit they’d been through before.
”Whatever.”

”Resounding yes in grumpy Linqian language.” Lucien laughed slightly, looking back at Leon.
”Cass is your girlfriend, right? Who also has…”

He didn’t quite name it, looking a bit uncomfortable to be bringing it up in a situation where there was already enough pain to be dealt with.

Leon nodded happily, walking with them down the bar.

”Yessir… Your cousin’s supposed to be flying in to help her get better adjusted with it. Hopefully we can get it all crammed in and have her sent back home before things get too weird.” he admitted, knowing full well that people like Lucien weren’t blind about what was going on. Far enough away from the inner circle to avoid the bomb blasts, but close enough to see the mushroom clouds.

”Brothers and sisters of mine? We have company!”

”Heyyyyyy! Loos-eeeeeee!”
Casey pushed around Cass to grapple Lucien into his arms, bundling him tight for a moment before letting him go and planting a hand on his noggin.
”Buddy! Buddy boy! Have you met my wife Trisha? Dude…”

Casey practically hijacked Lucien immediately, proudly stepping back enough to wave his hand to present Trisha. Which awkwardly left Linqian with Leon and Cass.

”Baby, do me a favor when you get a sec?-” he looked at Cass.
”-Blast him with something? Just to take the edge off. I’m worried he’ll get sloppy.” Leon directed, hoping Cass would go along with it. After all, they had sloppy Linqian to deal with…

”And, did you decide what you want?” he asked, making sure Linqian got the seat next to Cass.

”Whatever has the highest percentage of alcohol!” Cass slapped the table, grinning at him. She wasn’t so sure about the blasting Casey thing… Mostly cause she didn’t know how to do it without being incredibly obvious about it. Maybe Trisha’d help if she got annoyed at how Casey was acting.

Cass twisted around in her seat to catch Trisha blushing, embarrassment not enough to cover the overly sappy look she was shooting Casey at being introduced as his wife. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t the case yet… Just that he got even cuter towards her when he was drunk like this. She liked it. She didn’t even say anything, just giving a small way and shuffling back towards Casey.

And Lucien easily took it in stride, recovering from the shock of being grappled to smoothly smile at Trisha.
”Nice to meet you, Trisha… I’m Lucien. Wife, huh? Congrats, dude!”

”Ugh.” Linqian muttered under her breath, doing her best to ignore what was going on behind her. She’d never exactly been the type for being around overly lovey dovey couples, but obviously it stung just a bit more to deal with right now. It’d stung after her last two break ups too, and nobody had died then!

Technically wasn’t really a break up with Greyson, anyway… Fucking, whatever.
”I second the strongest shit. And no blasting me with anything.”

”I ain’t gonna! I know a gal who can hold her alcohol when I see one!” Cass patted Linqian on the shoulder, though the look she shot Leon around her was clearly one of some concern. Though… It wasn’t surprising that Linqian was drinking herself into a stupor after the shit circumstances. Real shit considering what she was landed with leading up to them too.

She didn’t let herself dwell on that negative very long, knowing that some upbeat energy was the best for this kinda shit. So she slapped the bar again, grinning playfully at Leon.
”C’mon bar boy, get pouring those shots!”

Leon laughed in a good nature, in spite of the quick mental tick that brought his anxiety up slightly.

”I prefer something gender neutral in this situation… Bar slut? Bar beast? Boy makes it sound so… Derogatory!”
Never-the-less, he knew the assignment. Two green Lux monsters with little to no compunction over the taste of the drink they’re inhaling… It was a no-brainer to reach for the everclear.

“Leon!?” one of the actual bartenders looked incredibly concerned as he was gathering shot glasses with the bottle in his hand.

”Yeah?” he asked calmly, not even really grinning. There was a song playing in his head… It was probably still playing in Linqian’s head too. Surely she wanted it gone.

“Oh, n-nothing! Just, y’know, making sure you saw what you picked up!” the concerned bartender whinged.

Leon held the bottle up and shook it playfully.
”Oh I do. Don’t worry, we can handle it. A little hand sanitizer, y’know?”

And then he poured nine shots. Three for each of them, sliding them in front of Linqian first, then himself, and finally the impatient Cass. The bottle made its way back up, and Leon gave a quick glance at Casey.

”-no, cuz, she’s just awesome! Honestly, like, if you can’t find someone whose worst parts you still like? There’s no point, dude. Noooooo fuckin’ point in wasting your breath. What happens? Y’know? It’s just-”

Leon giggled to himself as he picked up a shot, then oriented his body toward Linqian.

”This one’s for the beautiful man who never had the chance to come and save everyone. The next one, is for the asshole who came back and forced himself into our lives, and gave himself up for it… And this last one is to the future,-”
He looked at Cass.
”And to many more birthdays with one another.”

Cass grinned at Leon, raising her first shot.
”Yeah, to all’ve that!” As much as she wanted to just knock it back she turned her gaze towards Linqian, waiting for her to go first. After all, Cass hadn’t even known the person the first shot was for.

”If Jinhai was here, he’d be giving me a fuck earful for drinking this shit.” Linqian snorted, close enough to a laugh as she raised the first shot and promptly downed it.

”And Greyson’d be tryna throw cash around to show off, fucking asshole.” The second one went down just as fast. She paused on the third, taking a moment to figure out the whole birthday thing.
”Uh… Fucking… Happy birthday, Cass. To whatever fucking bl-”

”Hey now! Ain’t bringing negativity into the future toast! You can get round to that after you drink it!” Cass interrupted, before Linqian could mention a bleak future. Probably felt like that in this moment for her… But it really wasn’t something to drink to.

”Fucking- Fine! I won’t add shit to that.” Linqian downed the third shot, the burn in her throat barely noticeable at this point. The warmth that came with it was almost nice.
”Can’t be any fucking worse than the last year, right?”

Clearing down his three shots was like water. Lelou gave him a nice, warm shiver up his spine that felt like a second hug. It was enough for him to speak up with confidence.

”Hey…-” he spoke almost privately to Cass.
”-Let her get it out? No amount of outside sadness is gonna affect our future… We can let her have it, can’t we?”

Assuming that she’d go along with him, Leon turned back to Linqian and nodded.
”I’m sorry… Go ahead. Say what you wanted to say. To whatever… Bleak future that may be? You know as well as I do, it’s what you make it.” he tried to get Linqian to talk a little more than just letting her be in her feelings. There were ways to bring someone out of this kind of stupor…

Though, given that it was Linqian, he didn’t expect any tremendous progress. Just enough that she’d probably clam up when presented with conflicting ideas, or… Hell, maybe she’d get more aggressive. He didn’t want to rob her of the chance to get just a little more physical. She’d done so well in the bunker, it was hard to think that she hadn’t had all the violence she could ask for… But nothing was going to bring any of the dead men in her life back. None of the dead people.

”Want some more?” he asked her calmly.

Linqian just nodded, pushing her shot glasses back towards Leon.

”Me too, please, Babe?” Cass asked, after a pause of waiting for Linqian to say something. Obviously giving her the floor and everything… But if she was going to take a moment to answer, Cass may as well as for a bit more to drink, right?

Linqian wasn’t really struggling with a response so much as she wasn’t sure if there was any point. There wasn’t even a flare of anger to follow, the mood swings going low into cold apathy as much as they pushed into fiery anger. Like a fucking yo-yo. At least the heat was closer to feeling.

”Sure, future’s what you make of it… Just pretty fucking hard when the future you started to make gets torn away from you twice in a fucking row. Sure, Greyson left me with all this fucking money… Y’know I’ve never been able to just not worry ‘bout that shit since I was sixteen. It’d be fucking great if having to work wasn’t the only thing that kept me going after Jinhai fucking- and what’s the point in all the fucking money when I only got two people to share it with?”

Not that she’d ever had much more than that, ironically enough. But there’d been the friends her and Jinhai shared… Even if they all fucked off after he died. Now it was just her, Henri and Aryin… And Aryin probably wasn’t going to stick around forever. The whole moving in thing was just temporary.

”So you… didn’t use the spell?” Cass couldn’t help but ask, unsure of what actually useful thing she could say. It’ll get better? Not necessarily. Early stages of grief fucking sucked, and she’d had way more people around to help with her own.

Linqian didn’t say anything in response to that, needing at least three more shots to even consider going into that.

Leon had poured himself a screwdriver, wanting something to drink without it being hardcore balls-to-the-wall. But, when Cass asked that question, he almost spit out the sip he was taking. It was a good question. Two would, in theory, become three… And that third was a life worth preserving. Lelou knew, and thus Leon knew, that life had already gestated within her. He wondered if she’d stop drinking if she knew…

”Uh… Y’know, Linqian, I hadn’t really thought about that… I guess, y’know, you must not have if you’re drinking like this. Right?” he asked as if to lead her to water in a proverbial sense.

Linqian stared at Leon like he was stupid.
”Fucking hell, course I did. Fuck knows if it actually worked… But d’you think most women could even find out this fucking early? And they just don't fucking drink?”

Though grieving as she was, she wasn't entirely that careless… Well, she'd done enough research to know drinking a bunch while possibly pregnant probably wouldn't fuck shit up. Cause, it was the only chance with Greyson… and contrary to how she generally came across, she'd always wanted to have a kid. Hadn't planned for it to be now, but shit happened, people died.

"My Ma always blamed the wine she had before finding out whenever we did somethin' stupid." Cass awkwardly laughed, though it had just been one of her mother's many excuses that weren't her shit parenting.

”Well if there's a kid, they're gonna get all the fucking stupid genes from me anyway.”

Leon leaned down and into Linqian, taking a deep sniff near her ear. A dog thing, obviously, but it was mostly a ploy to get close enough that Cass would need to pay attention to hear him speak.

”Just take it a little easy. Like, y’know, a souffle in the oven… Except, y’know, we can’t make another one like it. The source of the cream isn’t exactly giving out more samples.”

And then he pulled away, his face unflinching. It wasn’t even a smile… He knew she wasn’t here for jokes. She was here because she felt obligated, and knew that nobody in her immediate life was going to let her sit and rot. She had more life to live…

”Why not, uh… Go take over the family business? The Twin Cities are gonna be missing a Don, right? Step in! Bring Minnesota to heel, those frigid bastards!”
There was the joke. A cover, mostly.

”Minnesota!?!?!?!? Fuckin’ Finland of America! B-but they’re… They’re like the Japs! The politeness is fake!”

Casey muscled his way up next to Cass…

”Hey, dude! Leave the fucking… Leave that shit in the bottom of your brain, dude…”

Casey pouted.

”Mmmmkay, I’ll cut your hands off with a sword and see how you like it!” he said with an incredibly light tone for the subject at hand… Not shocking for Leon.

It was, after all, a bad war. A bloody one. Animosity was still high to this day, and while he hadn’t fought on the Eastern Front much during the later parts of the war, he had plenty of experience going to the mat with the Japanese soldiers in China when the war started. Leon was generally shocked that Casey didn’t have more animosity toward others… Though, he never shied away from badmouthing the old regimes.

”Don’t get like that, Bub… Or you’re getting cut off.”

Casey leaned into Cass.

”Fine… Hit me. I wanna get drunk again anyway.” Casey goaded her, half expecting an actual slap but half hoping she’d pick up what she meant. He was asking to be un-drunk’d.

“Heyyyy, it's my turn to get drunk." Trisha jokingly complained, having trailed right behind Casey though with much less physical and verbal intrusion. She was in the very clingy stage of her drinking… Not that she was not clingy normally. Just not so bad. She didn't even care to push at anything Casey was saying, head still very much in the clouds- if painted red from embarrassment- from how much he'd rambled away about her.

"Hit you?! Okay, I'll slap some sense into ya!" Cass caught Casey's meaning, but still reached up to slap both hands against his face. The main saving grace was that she was at her normal strength, minimising the green lux enhancements to not burn off all her own alcohol. But her hands stayed there after.

It wasn't that difficult to suck the alcohol out of his bloodstream. She'd learned, after doing it a couple of times before, that she could either just get rid of it or take it herself. Normally she went for the former… but today? Why waste it! The veins on the back of her hand glowed green for a moment, and she let out a slight sigh. Finally! The double combo of shots and everything Casey drank was starting to get to her head.

"There ya go!"

Linqian had been silent after Leon whispered a metaphor she'd have to be blackout drunk to not get. So it really had worked… Fucking hell. Even if it had been planned with full knowledge of the circumstances, it was a lot to process. Not like there'd been much time before. She glanced down at her stomach, before silently pushing her remaining shots over towards Cass.

But just because she was processing shit didn't mean she wasn't listening, even if there was a fucking delay as her drunk brain dealt with everything. Her eyes narrowed, shifting in her seat to glare at Casey where he'd pushed his way in.

Culturally, there weren't exactly good feelings from her towards Japan. That shit preceded the fucking war… But it was fucking different hearing a word that had been thrown at her a couple of times dropped so casually. Obviously not as bad as the people it actually targeted, but it wasn't like the actual racist bigots could tell the difference. And there were plenty of them in some of the pubs she worked in during and after the war.

”Really gonna just fucking drop that and move on? Why not just go fucking throwing other slurs round too! May as well get it all out. Since you can drop it so fucking casually!” Linqian snapped, ticking up towards that rage she was known for… But it seemed pretty fucking reasonable this time. Though it was partly something to latch onto. Another emotion rather than depression…

Her glare flickered between Casey and Trisha.
”Should’ve fucking known Trisha would have standards this low.”

Trisha immediately bristled, squeezing half in front of Casey as if she could block him from dealing with it.
“I don't- it was a drunken mistake. Fuck off."

”Sure didn't sound like it.”

Lucien gave a nervous laugh from the other side of Linqian, seeming to be preparing himself to grab her if she jumped from verbal to physical violence.

Casey’s world caved into focus as he found himself being yelled at. Which… Deserved. But, ultimately, the woman who was yelling at him was way more drunk than he was now. He expected that part, even in the foggy haze. He knew what he said. The war was bitter in that part of the world. His only surprise was that a half-Chinese woman was even close to being concerned about something like that.

But he was also White, and knew what it was like for some other people to be compared to the Germans. Not him… It rolled right off his back. Names didn’t mean much when you saw so much industrial death. But, he found Trisha ready as she could be to defend him, which wouldn’t do in her state. In turn, he became palpably sober. His entire demeanor changed, and he leaned down slightly to kiss just beneath Trisha’s ear, whispering as he did so.

”Be still, my Burning Heart.” he cooed, then took a deep breath and looked directly at Linqian.

”I apologize, Linqian. I have no excuse, and you don’t have to forgive me. I don’t talk about my time in China lightly… But it will always be a special place to me. For all the awful things I saw. It doesn’t excuse my words here. You’re well within your rights to be upset at me, and you should feel free to carry out whatever consequence you feel I deserve.”

Capitulation didn’t always work how one wanted it to. Sometimes it invited worse things. But, he figured the woman who just lost her boyfriend after having lost her brother, may just want to feel like she’s in control of something. Anything to grab ahold of and careen into the dirt. He’d let her. He could take that feeling.

The air around them heated up slightly as Linqian did, even as her brain got stuck for a moment. It was the kind of shit that pissed her off cause of how she was, rather than having ever sat deeply the few times it was thrown at her. It was always fucking mistaken discrimination… Fucking shit, obviously, but not quite like any of the other shit that actually hit a nerve.

And more than that, she knew what the war had been like there. They'd been long out of the country, but her and Jinhai had contact with enough cousins to hear shit firsthand. She loved her home country more than she was fucking upset by what he'd said… She fucking missed it, really. Because everyone was alive then.

”Well then fucking-” Linqian started, before suddenly twisting around to glare at Lucien as his hands landed on her shoulders. She reached up to hit the back of his head, briefly burning him in the process.
”I fucking swear to God, if you were about to fucking time freeze me-”

”Just tryna make sure nobody gets too burned. Precautions.”

”Fuck off- I was going to say then fucking keep it inside. It's whatever, I don't fucking care that much about shit thrown at me by racists who saw someone Asian and spat out whatever the fuck came into their head! Fucking shit to hear, fucking pisses me off, but whatever!” She turned back to Casey, letting go of Lucien. Her expression wasn't exactly great, but she clearly wasn't going to escalate to physical violence this time.
”I’m not risking getting fucking severed by one side cause I burned to death someone who actually fucking defended my country. The shit that happened there was fucking worse.”

Obviously, that wouldn't actually happen, severance wasn't so fickle. But it was a nice self excuse for her de-escalating, the anger irritatingly quick to simmer out back to nothing. Waiting for the next thing to explode at but unable to latch more onto this. Her mood swings were only worse with the grief, but on top of that she could still hear that fucking slow jazz in the back of her mind. It frustratingly dragged her back down, just like Greyson had managed to a fair few times- when her anger wasn’t directed at him, that was.

Jinhai would’ve told her to knock it off too. Fucking bastards who tried to stop her from slapping people but went and fucking died themselves.

”I don't have the fucking energy to waste on punching someone I don't give a fuck about anyway…” She managed to grumble out another bit of vitriol even as shit simmered down.
”And I’m not gonna fucking trample on their memories right now.”

Trisha didn't say anything, because the message was clear from Casey. But she was clearly still unhappy, tense as she leaned against him. She was too selfish, and tipsy, to step back and think about the shit Linqian was going through. But she was holding back her urge to snap back in defence and just escalate the situation further… Because it was for Casey, and if he didn't want that. It would only make things worse for him, and then everything would be worse.

Casey knew that overexplaining didn’t mean anything to someone who was drunk. It just didn’t work. His best option was to just be kind.
”You’re a strong woman, Linqian. Even if you don’t feel like you are. I hope you can find it in yourself to press forward into that new dawn. We’ll always be around if you ever get into trouble.”

Reaching out for a the free shots sitting on the bar, he passed one to Trisha before nodding and raising the glass to Linqian.

”To you, and Greyson, and all the other Sycamites who actually gave enough of a fuck to take a real stand.” he held his shot glass out to cheer, then knocked it back before realizing that it wasn’t regular alcohol.

”Oh, woah! What the fuck, you guys? That’s gasoline, it’s not alcohol!”

Leon only grinned back, tapping on the bottle of everclear… Which made Casey vomit in his mouth as the image made a purchase in his cornea.
”Ffffffuuuuuuuck that.”

Trisha took the shot without much question, because it was Casey handing it to her. She loved him and wanted to toast with him, even if it meant doing a shot which she hadn't really planned to do. But one wouldn't kill her… And she’d probably still be aware enough after it. It would be fine.

She immediately regretted it. The alcohol immediately burned, and she reactively gagged. It only got worse on the way down, causing her to bend forward to start coughing. Bad enough it brought tears to her eyes.

“What the fuck?" She managed to splutter out.

Watching the two of them, Linqian's lips quirked up into a smile. Then she broke out into laughter. It wasn't exactly the nicest laughter, but it wasn't like it was overly mocking on anything.
”Fuck, watching that almost makes up for it! Fuck! One fuckin’ shot.” She pretty quickly got incoherent, laughing away about how pathetic their shot taking was, like the alcohol itself wasn't insane.

Trisha pouted, heat beginning to spread across her body until she was completely flushed. It hadn't gone to her head yet… Maybe it wasn't so bad. But it still hurt when she drank it! She turned around to direct that adorable little pout up at Casey, bringing up a fist to very weakly hit his chest.

“Caaassseeeyyyy," she whined.
“Whyyyy did you give me that? It really hurt…"

Meanwhile, Cass was turning her own pout towards her boyfriend… Though for a very different reason. She looked mournfully at where the two shots drank by people who just couldn't appreciate them had been, then up at Leon. Her fingers wriggled towards all the empty glasses in front of her.

"My shooootttts... Leon, Baby, my sexy bar beast… Please?"

”See, sexy bar beast is a far better title. You’re so good at this, Babe!” Leon leaned close to kiss Cass across the bar before lining up a small row of shots just for Cass.
”There! All yours; go crazy… Just don’t go racist.” he laughed aloud, eyes turning back up to Casey playfully.

Which got no response, as Casey was too busy cooing away at Trisha.
”If I realized, I would’ve warned you, my sweet girl…”
He was still holding her, though tighter now as he pulled her in and rubbed the back of her head.

”Juuuuuust relax. Remember, we’re happy when we’re drunk. We’re happy, and silly. And we’ll stay happy and silly. Right?” he asked her, affection levels teetering between concerned lover and disconcerted caretaker.

Which left Leon alone with both women once again.
”So? El-Q? If you’ve got a spell to protect the package, I’ll gladly sit here and drink with you until we figure out a way to get you right. Cass will too, because she’s attached to me and has no choice, obviously.” he slyly grinned at his girlfriend before looking back at Linqian.

"Uh… No!" Cass joked goofily, having already downed a couple of the shots Leon gave her. She grinned back at him, jerking her head towards the sappy couple behind them.
"I'ma go home with the lovebirds and third wheel them all night!"

Just like Leon's joke at Casey, Cass' didn't get through either. Trisha was cuddling into Casey, face practically hidden against him as she nodded up and down in agreement with what he said. There was some quiet mumbling, muffled by how tight she was pressed against him- some continued whining about the alcohol that quickly devolved into affectionate and loving, if a bit incoherent, responses.

Cass turned back with a goofy expression.
"I don't think they'd even notice!"

Linqian let out a short laugh, shifting herself to block Casey and Trisha from her vision. Though they were so sickeningly sweet it practically brought up no feelings of jealousy from her… The only time she'd been anything close to that was with Bianca, and they were teenagers!

”I don't. Been too busy practicing combat spells to not fucking die, and I neglected that shit for years.” She shrugged one shoulder. She dealt with alcohol well herself through virtue of being a Green Adept, so it just got fucking eaten, and an experienced drinker anyway. But all of her specific spells were geared for fighting, since she'd only ever worked on it when she needed to fight.

Cass tilted her head, cogs visibly turning inside as she processed the shit that hadn't been directed towards her. Spell to… Protect the package… Oh!
"I can do that for ya! Just, y'know, I gotta refresh like… every half hour so… you ain't actually allowed to escape and drink with anyone else!"

”Really twisting my leg here.” Linqian intoned sarcastically. In terms of company in this place, there weren't really many others she'd be alright drinking with… Even in the city. Leon was basically an actual friend at this point, and she liked Cass.

"Y'mean arm?!"

”Whatever- Cast the fucking spell, then lemme drink. It's gonna take a fucking while if you're wanting to figure that kinda shit out.” Linqian rolled her eyes at Leon, holding out an arm to Cass.

Cass ignored it to shuffle forward, one hand going to Linqian's stomach. Way fucking easier to go to the source! Otherwise she had to search veins and shit and-
"Ooo, that's fucking cool- Sorry, ain't ever seen this!- one minute, just gotta figure this out."

Linqian’s eyes narrowed.
”You said you had a spell.”

"I will!"

Leon looked on with something of a smile. He hoped for the little bastard’s sake that Linqian would be able to quit on her own once they were gone… Even if there was little to no chance for some kind of sickness to affect it in the prenatal stages, he knew all too well what a Mother’s trauma could do to a child. And they didn’t need another Greyson running around in deed.

”Cass, are you… Magically examining her? You’re gonna get cut off soon too! Don’t you think that’s a little bit of a privacy violation?” Leon asked aloud, very clearly playing, but at the same time not exactly joking.

"Nooooo... I'm tryna figure out the best way to protect it! I ain't ever done it for, like, just a bit of the body instead of, y'know, full alcohol protection!" Cass protested, looking up to stick out her tongue at Leon playfully.

Sure, she'd taken a little look… But she had to, cause she had to build some kinda magical buffer around the barely there cell bundle!

There was a gentle green glow as she actually figured it out and got to work, before pulling back with a grin.
"There! I mean, lemme check when you drink, just in case! But should be a nice anti-alcohol buffer there! Drown yourself in all the booze you wanna!"

Linqian's brow furrowed slightly, trying to check with her own much less developed magic. She couldn't really tell the difference, so she'd just have to trust Cass… Which she did, considering everything the other woman had taught her so far had worked.

She tapped the bar.
”Gimme a beer, then, to be safe.”

Cass was making her way through the rest of her shots, as a reward for her good work. She wasn't exactly that worried about getting cut off… She could make herself sober easily! Well, it'd get to the point when casting would probably be a fucking risk and she might grown a few limbs in the process, but that was just the price she had to pay!

"Also, if you ever want free consensual magical examinations, I can do that! I bet with'a white adept we could project a real good image too!" Cass excitedly started to ramble at the prospect of even more cool magic use. It wasn't like she was surrounded by pregnant people she could practice that stuff on!
"I bet I can do all kinds've stuff to help! Like, no morning sickness! No pain! Shit you'd get from a doctor but better cause magic! I can help teach you! Ooo, I could even-"

”I can afford an actual hospital now, thanks.” Linqian cut her off before she could get any further, turning to shoot a sarcastic, but somewhat amused, look at Leon.
”Does she always get this fucking excited about new magic shit? Or is it just the fucking alcohol? It isn't some fucked up experimentation fetish, is it?”

Leon laughed. Clearly Linqian was forgetting all the enthusiastic lectures Leon used to give before Ken showed up and started helping people with learning magic in a practical fashion. He’d always been utterly passionate about magic, the applications and theories of it, and any reason he could find to babble about it himself, he would.

But Linqian definitely didn’t want that happening now.

”Geeze, don’t kill my Baby’s shine. It's a whole new world for her; she didn’t have the privilege of Kindling in time for a summer of nightmares herself. So, everything’s new. Mostly…”

Leaning into Cass, Leon placed a kiss on her cheek.
”And we love that excitement. It's good. Better than booze in my opinion. Enthusiasm is as intoxicating as you allow it to be, and I don’t think either of us hold back.” he looked at Cass as if asking for confirmation.

”You lost me a lil bit on the better than booze bit… But fuck yeah! Ain’t any holding back here… I don’t think I could! Ain’t in my nature, I’m an all or nothing kinda gal. Magic’s definitely an all! It’s fuckin’ awesome!” Cass grinned, practically bouncing in her seat. It wasn’t exactly much different from how she normally was, even though the alcohol had very much gotten to her head now.

She leaned towards Linqian, grin widening as she nudged her.
”C’mon, you can’t deny you’ve been enjoying all the Cass lessons! Cassons! Well, ain’t like I’m teaching you fundamental shit, just sick ass spells I’ve figured out! Like… The erection spell! I’m basically the other father or something!”

”Not how it fucking works.” Linqian hit Cass with a hard stare, shaking her head.
”Can’t even say I get it. That kinda shit was always much more Jinhai’s thing. It’s why I end burning my fucking clothes off half the time- didn’t exactly think hard developing that shit. Just what fit.”

”Heh, I understand- I’ve done some shit that’s even freaked out Leon! Ain’t even all been on purpose!”

”Waking up to you with six eyes and mandibles was not my ideal scenario. Hard to be enthusiastic about Spider-Cass in that context… Y’fuckin’ dick!” Leon laughed hard, shaking his head in continued confusion.

”Thats why we establish certain rules. Like no pranks before the both of us have been awake together for an hour.”

Leon wouldn’t trade Cass for all the gold in Fort Knox. But that didn’t mean boundaries shouldn’t exist!

”And we still had to work that out, because at first it was no magic in bed, but that didn’t work. So then it was no magic until you have a coffee, but then she just woke up before me and drank a cup of coffee, then turned herself into a Stretchy character.”

Stretchy being the titular character of the beloved children’s game “Stretchy and the Gum Machine.”

”Which, I had to tell her… About the clown incident. Were you there for it? Or did you end up just hearing about it?” he asked Linqian directly.

Linqian reactively grimaced, taking a good long drink of her beer at that memory being dragged up. It wasn’t exactly the worst incident- for her, those always involved dogs or wolves- but it had been pretty fucking bad.

”I was fucking there for that nightmare, yeah. Me and Aryin were goading each other to try fucking join when shit happened, so we were basically in fucking circus enemy territory. I’ll never be able to go to a circus again, fucking hell.” Not that it had ever been on her top list of things to do for amusement anyway. At the time, it was because… Well, shit sucked, may as well try out the circus.

Great until the clowns turned into literal corrupted nightmares.

”See that’s some fucking movie ass shit. Like, crazy murder clowns? Shit just ain’t seem real… Course it is, but fuck! See, anything I come up with, something’s already done it worse!” Cass laughed, reaching out to pat Leon on the shoulder as some kind of apology for all the Snake trauma she kept accidentally stepping on.

”Really, you’re fucking lucky, Leon. If it was me, I’d become a clown the next morning just to fuck with you.” Linqian’s grimace turned into a more of a taunting smile. Maybe she wasn’t that bad… But she sure as fuck had taunted Greyson over plenty in the short while they were together.

”Wasn’t even the only time there was that kind shit. You remember one of those fucking nightmares we got trapped in? Everything was fucking bloated, like shit was gonna explode, or all fucking twisted, but human enough to make it real fucking freaky. It was fucking… me, you, Aryin, Drake… Fuck if I remember… Wasn’t Trisha fucking there too? Dunno who’s fucking nightmare it was drawing on.“

Leon immediately spun his head to make sure Trisha wasn’t getting blasted by residual trauma… But whatever world she and Casey were in, they may as well have been at home. Shaking his head, he turned back to the conversation.

”Oh, yeah… Drake’s blueberry inflation fetish. Dude was fucked even when we were kids… God, I hope him and Ken are alright… There’s no fucking way we’re gonna find them after what happened. Which sucks. I was happy Drake seemed like he wanted to talk to me. I missed him.”

But, plenty were gone. So he could only pour another set of shots and slide them out for the girls and himself. He raised his glass and looked at Linqian.

”Ancients bless the ones who would do good at any cost. This one’s for the best of us. Jinhai included.”

”My better half… We lost a lot of the good ones.” Linqian intoned, raising her glass before downing the shot. They lost a lot, really, but some of the worst escaped the blade somehow. Emily, George, Vashti… Well, Vashti was bloodthirsty and murderous, but not quite on the same level as bigots. Sloane and Anya too- bitches, but not the worst on the list.

”I’m sure they’re all having a massive, crazy party in the Hound’s realm, not having to worry about any of the mundane shit. At least, I like to hope so. I’ve burnt enough fucking joss paper for Jinhai to be living it up in the afterlife.” Linqian’s lips pulled up into a thin smile, and she let out a small laugh.
”Kinda funny, though… Still following the beliefs I was brought up with even though we know the shit doesn’t work, cause we know ‘bout the Hound existing. Hell, my family knew when bringing us up like that!”

”I think it’s nice.” Cass said, already pushing her empty shot glass towards Leon in the hope he’d pour her another. Sure, she could stretch out for the bottle herself, but she didn’t want to stomp on his bar beast terrain!
”Y’know… Believing there’s nice shit after!”

Fools. Hopeful fools who don’t know what the realm of the Hound is like! Death is War! It is Hell! They do not sing beneath your feet- They writhe in dro-

”That’s something we can hope for, certainly. At least we know one guy who got to escape that fate entirely. Y’think he’s watching us from somewhere?”

That guy being Greyson. While his death was real, and large portions of him no longer remained, the essential bits and pieces were held together by a clever curse Andrade used. A low grade binding spell, using Void Heart of all creatures, to trap and purify the two of them as one entity. Greyson’s having been flushed with Lux created the perfect environment for the catalyzation process, and everything that had once been Void Heart was replaced with Love. True Love, which came from the deepest, most rich sources of Pink Lux one could find.

It was a rather impressive concept, and insured that even if they were missing to him, Greyson’s direct memories of life and what’d happened would remain buried somewhere deep inside the Apparition. Maybe one day, he’d even remember. Maybe he’d have the chance to return to Linqian, or even Britney…

”Have you heard from your Sister-Wife?” Leon used the term jokingly to poke and prod Linqian.
”The way Greyson was talking, it sounds like she’s carrying a package too. Y’ever gonna, y’know… Go see her? Them?” he asked, genuinely curious about the odd circumstance of having two half-siblings being born relatively close in age, but so far apart.

Linqian rolled her eyes at Leon, merely flipping him off for the comment before actually answering his question.
”Hers was more planned I think… But, yeah, I will, assuming she’s willing to explain that shit to her kid. I want mine to have whatever family they can get- shit’s important to me. ‘Course it won’t be like me and Jinhai had, ‘specially if Brit stays over with Greyson’s family rather than coming back, but I hope they’ll be friends.”

It was probably the most positive thing she’d said all night, and not something she needed to think about much. She’d thought about it before, when her and Greyson had decided to try- and gotten the means to.

”I plan to have plenty more kids myself anyway, just gotta find someone else to have ‘em with. And I’ve talked to her, yesterday. Y’know, telling her what happened, if a pink ghost playing fucking jazz turned up, to just seal it and toss it in the sea.” Her tone turned sarcastic again, like that little bit of hopefulness was too much to continue with.

Leon laughed aloud, every sense in his body telling him that there was a hand, or some other funny limb, wrapping around the bottle of booze they were nursing. Which, in turn, caused him to clench up and stare at Cass before pouring a big cup full of booze. It emptied the bottle, and he laughed before handing it to Cass and dumping it in the trash for another. Then, another shot for Linqian.

For anyone not in the know, this kind of behavior would’ve looked reckless, dangerous and frankly foolish. But, drinking with Adepts was foolish. Most couldn’t do anything about it… But these Greenies? Having a Green Lux Adept turned a night of drinking into a marathon of seeing how much liquid one could suck down their gullet before they reach the point of no return; unable to draw on any more magic to coherently cleanse the liver of its duties.

It was the equivalent of having a full-sprint marathon over the course of several miles. The normal human just couldn’t possibly sustain it. Yet, here they were…

”Well, I know you’re rich now… But money’s really no object. You want a house down there? You want the private jet rental? We’ll make it easy… Though, I think it’s kind of awesome that you are planning for more. More than just this one, I mean. It means you do have some kind of hope for what comes next. That makes me happy.” he admitted to Linqian calmly.

”Shithead and I have talked about it… A little bit. Obviously, not trying to move so fast. But, I told her that she’s pretty cool, and I think we’d make a great kid together. So, I’m hoping that she’ll say yes before anything happens that ruins our relationship.” he turned his head to grin at Cass again, expression full of whimsical teasing.

”Just don’t go getting some fucking terminal illness to fast track it!” Cass shot back, reaching out to grab his cheek and tug. She was already a good way through the cup he’d given her, absolutely not holding back with the drinking… Or saying shit she maybe shouldn’t. Her eyes widened slightly as she looked at Linqian.

”Oh shit, too soon?”

Linqian just shrugged.
”Whatever you say doesn’t make shit worse. Not like it fast tracked it like that… I’ve been plenty ready to have a kid, just never had the fucking financial stability or longterm partner. Y’know, at least a year long- don’t trust anything less with that shit.”

Cass nodded a bit, tugging of Leon’s cheek turning into gentle squeezing.
”I sure ain’t ready yet… You’re gonna have to wait a couple’ve years, Babe, but by then I bet we’ll be soooo strong that it’ll take, like, a fucking magical, building sized tank to ruin it!”

”That’s cute… I honestly think whatever kid you have is gonna terrorise the fucking world. At least, destroy half the population’s eardrums.” Linqian teased, seeming to ease up a bit more. The extra booze helped, and the talk about the possibly good future rather than the shit was annoyingly nice. Didn’t fix shit, but made it a little less soul crushing in the moment.

She did point a finger towards Leon.
”Don’t go getting happy too fucking quickly. The next one’ll have even more red flags I bet.”

”Is your type exclusively criminals? Because I hear the PRA is looking to put a few old friends of ours away for extended sentences. You may need to stage a breakout for Croc-oc.”
Leon’s smile was teasingly sweet, as if he actually wanted Vashti Nour out of jail. She was just as menacing, and easily one of the most dangerous Aberrants alive. At least the Apparition she was associated with was stuck in a scarf.

”And if you get her out without going back for the Croc part, you just get a loud ass bitch for yourself! Though, at that point… Do you still carry it? Out of the two of you, she’s absolutely more butch.”

”Your asking like I’ve fucking sat down and thought about who’d be getting pregnant outta me and fucking Vashti Nour. Sure, there was plenty’ve flirting there, but she was tryna fucking kill me at the same time.” Linqian shook her head in disbelief. She’d barely even started to think about how she’d go about having a kid with another woman… The kinda shit she’d figure out when she got to it.

”Just like my last ex did.” She intoned, in a way that made it incredibly difficult to tell if it was a joke or not.
”Can’t believe Bianca didn’t tell me about this shit… I’ll have to get some visitation outta her. Then we’ll see about the breakout. Unfortunately for the world, the croc part was part of the appeal.”

Cass held up a hand, putting down her basically empty glass.
”Wait, who’s the Croc-oc? You had a fucking crocodile person in the coven?”

Leon nodded.
”Oh yeah. An Aberration, like Trisha and I. Y’know, sometimes, how Lelou just kinda crawls out of me? And you wake up, and it’s her in the body, not me? How it’s always a bunch of fun for you, and it’s kind of like a spicy thing in our relationship?”

”Oh yeah I know.” Cass grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

”Well, imagine that, but instead of being a regal wolf-queen, there was an actual factual saltwater crocodile thing who had every intention of killing you and everyone else you know and love. That’s what poor Vashti was dealing with.”

Thinking back to those days made him feel bad for her. And, even a little bit bad for Emily G. Reed. After all, it wasn’t like she had things any easier. She just liked how evil Babylon was… And all the power that came with it. Vashti was in a constant state of struggle back then, and typically caused a lot of issues for their group.

”Thankfully, we at least managed to seal Leviathan in a scarf. So, now Vashti uses it as a safety blanket, and can more freely control her abilities because of it. The beast itself doesn’t care where it lays, only that its bloodlust be sated… And Vashti generally has no compunctions against fulfilling that lust. So, yeah. Straight to jail with her.” Leon shrugged.

Ultimately, unless she found some kind of peace and love being torn away from her domineering commander, he figured she should probably fucking stay there too. Nothing was worse than some high level Apparition using their powers for evil.

”Though, she’s always made me wonder what being adjoined with the Stygian Snake would’ve been like. If it’s really that bad for everyone involved, or if you get privilege by being its host…”

”You saw what it did to people, no fucking way that’d end well.” Linqian grimaced.
”Half of it’s fucking thing was corruption! It fucked with our minds too, and it wasn’t fucking attached like that. I imagine it’d be like whatever Vashti dealt with… Or Luca… on an insane scale. It’d just end up with another person to use.”

”Can something that powerful even adjoin? I’m sure it wouldn’t wanna, so you’d have to force it, and… Wasn’t it hard enough getting it in that tree?” Cass treated it a bit more like a thought exercise than Linqian did, not immediately shutting down the suggestion. Though, she’d never experienced the Stygian Snake… Thankfully.

”I bet it’d be a real power high for the person Adjoined with it. Like, that’s some fucking insane magic to use! You’d totally get some crazy rush outta being on top of the food chain- not that I’d ever, y’know, use my magic to get on top like that, heh, just fun to think about.”

Leon thought about it. If they’d bound it to the Sycamore Tree, then it had to follow the same Apparitional rules as everything else.

”I’m not even sure it’s the top of the food chain when you think about the actual Paranormal cosmology. The evolution of the universe, and all that… Not to mention, like we were talking about before, at the last group meeting. The Stygian Snake’s only a fifth of what it was supposed to be. It’s supposed to be, y’know, a whole ass Ancient. That’s nothing to joke about, honestly. It’s pretty scary to think that.”

Moreso when he remembered their ultimate goal was to unite the fragments and hopefully cast out the entirety of the Serpent as an entity. What did they even call it? The Deer was the Deer, the Lion the Lion. The Hound… Was a Wolf? But also a Hound? Was that evolutionary? Theories for another day.

”Which reminds me… D’you think you’d want to help us, Linqian? If you were able? I meant what I said about that entire saga of our lives being in the rear view, but the truth is that we’re only as safe as that fucking tree until we expel it completely. Obviously, if you just want to live your life, I can’t stop that. But, I’m gonna make decisions about what’s best to do with it… And I’ll be honest that they could affect you. Hell, it could affect the entirety of existence!” Leon admitted openly, not wanting to bait Linqian’s help, but absolutely wanting her prepared in case of emergency.

Linqian's eyes narrowed slightly as she stared at him. She'd only gotten involved with Sycamore again because Father Wolf killed Jinhai. Magic was part of her life, sure, but not like that. But there was a certain fucking appeal to being involved in more… The danger could be fun. Bring her some feelings she desperately needed. But also actually being around people! Not fucking socially reclusing like she tended to, aside from quick and casual flings. Yeah, that could be nice.

Shit… Definitely the drink talking.

”That’s the kinda shit you gotta ask when I'm sober.” Linqian answered eventually. Sure, she wasn't out of her mind drunk, but she was definitely drunk enough… Just good at stopping it from being obvious. Or getting racist.

”It’s not just me anymore. Could push it either way… Fuck, y'know, the appeal of getting into fucking magic fights and getting hurt- But can't do that reckless shit anymore, right? Or get offed by the next fucking knife murderer!” She frowned, still drunk enough in the end to let more spill than she normally would.

"Don't worry, I'll stop Leon from making any stupid decision! And if you do help… I'll throw myself in front of you so any reckless shit ain't hurting the baby!" Cass declared loudly.

Leon grinned between the two women, taking a deep breath before nodding. Of course it was appealing, but ultimately she was the one thinking clearly for once. He hadn’t exactly intended for her to go through with his offer while carrying the baby… But, if they were intending to get this done as quickly as possible? It’d need her long after birth. Maybe they’d take long enough that she’d wrap back around to being available.

”Well, just uh… Keep it in mind. If we need you? We’ll call. If not, we’ll still call… But that’s just to keep in touch. I ain’t lettin’ you disappear back into the dark. Spending all this time with you has made me happy. You’re one of the only ones willing to deal with me considering…-” he paused, looking around as his hands raised slowly to indicate the massive crowd of friendly Temple members casually surrounding them in a veil of humanity.

”-You know…”

”God, don't get so fucking sappy.” Linqian rolled her eyes, though there wasn't any particular bite behind her words. Just the typical snide pushback without entirely meaning it.

”You’re lucky Greyson explained shit enough to me that I’m not so worried I’ll be fucking snatched and forced to convert. So long as none of the crazy cult talk comes out at me, I don't really give a fuck anymore.”

"You don't gotta worry ‘bout that, I ain't getting any cult talk from him, and we're together, like, all the time!" Cass grinned. It turned more teasing as she leaned towards Linqian, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Then she leaned in even closer, practically rubbing her cheek against Linqian's.
"Just admit iiitttttt… You like our company! You're soooo fucking happy Lee ain't gonna let you just fuck off. C'mon, admit it! Aadddmiittt ittttt."

She started playfully poking Linqian's side at the same time.

Linqian didn't admit it, though she didn't deny it either as she brought up a hand to push Cass' face away and tried to fend off her prodding.

”Linqian doesn’t really do confessions, Babe. Talking about stuff with your emotions leaves you open and vulnerable; both of which are positions that Linqian hates. As opposed to, y’know, quite a few other positions.”

In a different world, Leon would’ve propositioned her then. After all, they were familiar. She liked the last time. But, now it was all… Serious. There was a strong feeling of wanting to maintain this woman’s safety. Of wanting to ensure that everything went well for her. She was a one-time lover, and yet, so was the man who left her behind. Both had given him their time, trust, and shared their bodies… Greyson had been one for confessions. Always, with the confessions. Whether they were real or not didn’t quite matter.

He loved them both right back. The family you choose. He’d made the choice… So amazingly, the sexual desire evaporated like alcohol into the air. He leaned forward over the bar, one arm around Cass and the other over Linqian, to squeeze them both together in a warm, loving embrace.

”Sappy or not, we love you. You’ll always have a place with us. You, and whatever monsters that follow you… child or otherwise. And I’m glad we made it.” he finished, speaking into the little triangle with a smile on his face.

”Yeah! And maybe one day, our kids can terrorise people together?” Cass grinned, wriggling her arm out enough so that she could drag Linqian even tighter into the group hug.

Linqian grumbled under her breath, but there was no reactive heating up. After a moment she did actually hug them both back… There wasn’t exactly any point keeping up the cold bitch pretence when the comfort was right there. They’d both seen through that shit thanks to her state looking after Greyson- and even before that, the night with Leon- anyway.

”Well… I’ll fucking hold you to that. Cause, I guess it’d be nice. To have more people around, whatever the fuck happens. I’m glad we made it too.”

Iron and Honey: A Love Story [FernStone & AtomicEmperor]

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Monday December 11th.
Home.

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It was earlier than Trisha would’ve liked when she woke up to the sound of her alarm’s musical ringing, reluctantly set only a couple of hours ago. It wasn’t even that early… But Casey hadn’t come home until the early hours of the morning, after only a few hours together at home the day before. Obviously, in the long hours between, Trisha hadn’t gotten any sleep. Still struggled to sleep without him there.

But the thought of having to get up and out of bed wasn’t as awful as it had been the last few days. There was still a reluctance, but it wasn’t as strong. The heaviness she’d felt weighing down on her was beginning to alleviate. Like everything wasn’t so pointless, and she wasn’t as worthless as she’d thought then. Maybe it was because things were beginning to look up… The people hunting her for months were finally dealt with. Or it was just the natural cycle of her depressive periods.

She was slowly beginning to accept that maybe that’s what it was, too. Depression.

One arm stretched out to mute her alarm, before she twisted around to snuggle back up to Casey. She’d set it to give them plenty of time, after all… She wasn’t going to miss out on morning cuddle time just because she was beginning to feel a bit better.

“Good morning.” She spoke softly, tilting her head up to look at Casey with a gentle smile. She was still blinking the sleep out of her eyes… Soft in the morning light.
“Not that we… had a proper sleep but… I missed waking up with you. Getting up together. I don’t even feel like getting up is the hardest thing in the world now.”

Casey had a long night of his own. Only a few hours after getting home, he was called upon to come back out as was his duty, in order to situate everything properly. Leon was notably absent for most of it, leaving Casey feeling at least confident enough to return to the position he was assigned to. Most people seemed incredibly supportive, if not empathetic. A trait he wouldn’t have imagined, and certainly wouldn’t have found in the military. People may’ve been sympathetic, sure, but what he did was a court martial waiting to happen. Only people like Patton got away with bashing a soldier half unconscious to try and snap them out of shellshock…

Lesser officers got rolled under the mat and squashed like ants. No time for games from the US Military… Too busy doing God only knows what else. Still, it was a great deal of effort to go through. It wasn’t like things were simple: More work had to be tacked onto the Macguffin, as the elevator crash had rather unintended consequences. Being that it was so close to the highway, and that it ultimately landed on a local timber company’s mill building killing just about everyone inside, there was some serious press coverage before anyone was able to cover it up.

Which, in turn, got the PRA involved even more so than they had been… Casey was willing to play ball with them, handing over whatever living members of Dollhouse they’d managed to capture from inside the bunker after the cleanup. But, they didn’t seem to have any questions about the Stygian Snake… Maybe because Bianca knew what was supposed to happen… He didn’t bother asking questions at that point. Not when there was a tree to see. He went to the new facility, which looked like a fresh warehouse that the farm was using to store equipment, and actually saw this Sycamore Tree for himself.

It was a rather impressive tree, all things considered. Knotted, gnarled, an awful majesty swirled about it. Only magic could reveal the carvings that were indicative of it being used as some sort of prison, and any further magic was just dangerous… The tree, after all, was still rather hungry. It’s why nothing grew over its roots… Why it was all alone on this hill, completely devoid of grass or grain in spite of its verdant dark green, almost black, leaves.

Impressive, but ultimately frustrating. Just another thing tying her to this place. Another thing tying them all to this place. It had to be guarded. It had to be defended. Project Eden was already looking for new solutions, and Gin had been there working her team to the bone with magical projective testing. He was, at least for now, satisfied between the large presence and the defensibility of the funhouse bullshit some of his hired cousins had come up with. The facility was run entirely on Orange and Purple Lux, turning the interior into an extended-reality space that allowed them to manipulate the dimensions of the interior almost indefinitely… He wasn’t sure what the workaround was, but he knew external Lux jammers could, in theory, prevent anyone from doing anything about it. The only two options left were deal with it, or give up…

Then, there was reporting to Lynette… And that hadn’t gone particularly well with Furio and Clarissa both egging her on for punishment. Casey didn’t resist. He took the lashes that came, knowing that the days of this edifice were numbered. Even Lynette seemed remorseful after the fact, knowing that she’d soured yet another moment with her son where she could’ve spent it reconciling… But her anger and sadness over the situation, and the constant pressure from her closest friends, drove her to make that poor decision. It was something she could only give to him in a burst of White Lux… And he’d rejected the connection. He didn’t want her. He didn’t want to give her the chance to hurt his emotions again, especially not now knowing all that she’d done. About his Father… About Leon and the Leash. About how she’d played them all like sock puppet toys.

He only really wanted to talk to and be around Trisha in that moment… But, Leon still had to be dealt with. It was difficult finding him, until he finally made it to their Father’s first gym. The two men hashed the issue out in the oldest way they knew how. And, once and for all, without any kind of outside help or interference, Casey proceeded to beat the everloving snot out of his champion brother. It wasn’t technique, it wasn’t power: It was brutality. Efficient, calculated brutality that Leon hadn’t quite expected from his brother. Maybe he’d been too gentle, thinking they were just going lightly, but after a couple seconds of actually being assaulted, Leon didn’t hold much back either.

Yet, in the end, there was no real resolution from that. The resolution came after. The sobbing. The crying. The hugging, and the apologies, and the promises. The expectations set. The love that still held, because both of them truly wanted it to be there… It was almost three in the morning by the time the two of them returned to their respective apartments in that tall brick building. And Casey, actually, slept like a baby. He was still intent on doing so were it not for Trisha’s shuffling body and subsequent words.

In a haze, he half-opened his eyes.
”W-who said ‘nything about… Waking up together?”
Still, his arms gently reached out, one slipping under her while the other wrapped over her to tug her in close.
”Back t’sleep…”

“Alright… If you want woken up in an hour by Cass jumping on you after she breaks in, sure.” Trisha responded with a gentle laugh, managing to wriggle one arm up to tap his nose. Even though she was beginning to properly wake up, it was still in the period where she wouldn’t have much difficulty getting back to sleep… She’d love to, honestly. If it was anyone else she’d probably just ignore the plans and go along with it.

But it was Cass. She’d find a way in. And with Trisha beginning to feel a bit better herself, there wasn’t that extra depressive obstacle to overwhelm her anxiety at ignoring plans.

“You’re the one that planned breakfast with Leon and Cass. Not even lunch… breakfast.” She pouted cutely at him, the way she clung to him in turn not exactly screaming someone who wanted to get out of bed- and drag him with her.
“Do you know how hard it is to resist you tryna seduce me back to sleep.”

”It can’t be seduction, my boxers are still on.”
Though, he playfully looked under the covers as if to make sure before laughing and kissing her on the forehead.
”What’s going on? You feeling froggy now that the cloud hanging over St. Portwell has lifted?” he asked in an equally playful, facetious manner.

“Mm, sorta. I’m feeling a bit better… It’s nice not waking up worrying if I’m going to get stabbed. Who’d have thought that’d be a mood improver… But it’s mostly having you here. Hopefully more often.” Her lips curled up into a warm smile, and she leaned up to gently kiss him.

Her tone became something more playfully coy, blinking up at him with purposefully goofy exaggeration.
“You seduce me whatever you’re wearing. Boxers or not, fully clothed… Even a full clown outfit I bet… I just can’t resist.”

Casey couldn’t help but smile back at her after pulling away from their kiss. He giggled, blushed, then bit onto his bottom lip.
”Well… How much time do we have?”

“Enough.” Trisha hummed softly, eyes creasing happily before she leaned in to kiss him again.

---

The two of them were going to be a little late walking into Abrazo, but at least they’d texted Cass to let the other two know that would be the case. Which was fine, since Leon and Cass were practically on twenty-four hour schedules. Giving up fifteen minutes when you could fully utilize twenty four hours just meant they got to eat pancakes together before Casey and Trisha showed up. The place was sleepy on a Monday morning, only the usuals scattered about eating their scones and cubanos while chatting or watching the television that sat over the breakfast bar.

Leon was nervous. He had been the entire day yesterday. A ball of grief and self hatred, even. Cass helped, but at the same time didn’t shy away from admonishment of his actions. It was understandable, but ultimately left him half-terrified of the fact that Trisha may reject him. That, one day, he could still lose his brother and his girlfriend to… Her. To someone who he’d only ever really wronged. It was difficult to know that face would be staring at him. The same one that he always saw when she was pissed off…

He never could’ve known why they were going to be late, nor that they’d be coming in with relatively good spirits considering how difficult yesterday had been. Leon stuffed a piece of pancake into his mouth.

”I just… Don’t know what the fuck this is really supposed to be, y’know? Like, what, will he want to talk about things again with you two around? D’you think that’s a necessary thing to do? To dwell on it like that?” he asked Cass with nervous energy.

Cass couldn’t immediately respond, too busy shoving an entire pancake in her mouth at once. Since the place was so quiet, there wasn’t really anyone who could easily see them nice and tucked away as they were. So she didn’t really care about the whole proper eating thing! Though it did then make it difficult to reply as she chewed and chewed.

She reached out to pat his leg as she worked through the pancake, finally speaking after it was all swallowed.
”Honestly… I can’t say for sure! Though I don’t think it’s dwelling… Like, unless he’s gonna sit down and just rip into you. But sometimes you gotta chat about shit to actually move past it… Which, well, yeah, you guys already did together! But y’know Trisha, probably needs to hear some of it herself and say her own piece. And obviously I’m here to keep the peace! And eat Andrade outta his pancakes.”

And, assuming they were running low at this point, the man himself quietly brought another couple of stacks.

”Hey, I don’t mind. Eat ‘em up.” he spoke calmly, giving a smile to both of them.
”It’s all gotta go, after all.”

Leon looked up curiously.

”Closing shop?” he asked with his nervousness clear in his voice. Andrade nodded in reply.

”What’s left for me?” he asked in a matter-of-fact tone.

Which made Leon a bit sad. He had seen what Andrade did the day before. How it’d affected him. Seeing his brother die, having the chance to seal the apparition that had corrupted both Luis and their father… He’d done the right thing, and Leon didn’t think he was undeserving of a second chance.

”Us? I can’t speak for Cass, but… I’d bat for you, Andrade. You did what was asked of you in the end. You did the right thing.” he looked at Cass, almost to get some kind of confirmation.

Cass was already reaching for another stack of pancakes, pausing to look up at Leon, then Andrade, before nodding.

”Oh, yeah! I mean, you did a bunch’ve fucked up shit and I’m sure there’ll be people who ain’t gonna just forgive it cause’ve doing the right thing in the end. Y’know, other Sycamore people.” She said matter of factly, dancing around directly naming Trisha.

”That’s their right… But it’s others' right to forgive! I mean, I ain’t exactly been so involved so I ain’t sure I even have that right… But I sure do believe in second chances! And I ain’t just saying this cause’ve all the food you’re handing me right now, I really mean it. Cause without you- and Greyson- we’d all probably be dead!”

Andrade sighed.

”It’s complicated, isn’t it… Who knows? To the rest of the world, I’m still Andrade Salamente. I’ve got fucking eight rosettes under my belt. People pay thousands of dollars to host their private parties in my restaurants. Celebrities visit my places regularly. What’s it all for? Compensating for a life I couldn’t live on my own. I’ve done a lot of thinking the last few weeks…”

And then they were caught! From around the booth, someone cleared their throat.
”You two gluttons couldn’t wait?” Casey laughed, sliding around Andrade before hugging into him. His lips pursed up against Andrade’s ear.
”I’m sorry… For yesterday. I can’t take back what-”

Andrade hugged him back tightly, not letting him finish before pulling away and looking at him.
”Sit. Don’t mention it…”

Starting to walk away, he turned back.
”I’ll send a server over so you guys can actually get started.”
But he made sure to pass by Trisha close enough that he could stop and ask her something.

”I’ve uh… Well, the lawyers and stuff, all of it… We’ll need to talk. It’s good. Good for you. The honey will always have a home.” he said cryptically before walking away fully, leaving the four to greet one another properly.

”Honestly, Casey, he just started bringin’ em out with the coffee. We didn’t order it.” Leon weakly retorted, feeling immediately nervous that he’d already forced a faux pas.

”Well yeah, probably cause he saw the hungry look in my eyes and wanted to stop me gnawing on your arm for sustenance!” Cass piped up, trying to wave away any worries about the whole them already eating thing. Because honestly? Even if Andrade hadn’t brought them out, Cass probably would’ve started asking for food after a few minutes sitting in the place.

Trisha’s brow was furrowed slightly as she slid into the empty booth opposite the other couple, trying to figure out exactly what Andrade meant. She hadn’t exactly heard the earlier conversations… Her honey would always have a home? Like, his restaurants? Did he think she was worried he’d stop using it now everything was over?

There was no point dwelling on it then and there. Her expression relaxed, enough that she managed to smile at Cass and Leon. She was in a good enough mood thanks to the morning they’d had combined with the relief of one thing being over, even if there was still a while until things were completely peaceful.

“Good morning Cass, Leon.” She said, a little awkwardly but politely neutral nonetheless. She certainly wasn’t bothered by the food they already had. It was expected with Cass, even before she got magical hunger.

”Morning! Y’want some?” Cass practically shouted back, not letting the surrounding awkwardness and nerves get to her. She gestured down to the stack of pancakes she’d already devoured half of, somehow.

Trisha shook her head as she reached for a menu.
“I wasn’t planning to have something so sweet and filling.”

”Fair, fair… So how was it?!”

“How was… what?” Trisha shot her a confused look.

”The celebratory sex! That’s why you were late, right?!” Cass asked with a laugh, hitting the nail on the head about the why with what was meant to be a teasing joke.

Trisha’s confusion turned into half dismay, half embarrassment.
“That’s not… You promised you wouldn’t ask about that stuff, Cass! That you wouldn’t talk about it as much… I thought we’d agreed…”

Cass just shrugged with a little evil laugh.

Leon's mouth opened into a slight grin, if only for an instant, before snapping shut again and locking tightly. It was a little sad, and a little shameful, that the first thing out of his mouth was going to be a joke at his brother’s expense. After last night, he wasn’t afraid to make the joke, rather taking the five extra seconds to think about it hurt him in return. The entire line of predetermined reactions after that, the potential of ruining the moment…

The truth was, the two of them looked relieved, if not a little happy. There were plenty of things to say that didn’t have to be like that.

”Not hard to guess, you both have a little glow. Plus, I mean… C’mon, you two… We can smell it.”

Casey laughed aloud, if only a little nervous in return. He hadn’t realized it was so obvious, but given how active they were, they probably had some crazy sixth sense for noticing the vibes by now.

”Oh, I don’t know… Babe, how was it?” he asked warmly, head turning to her as they both ended up in the booth next to one another. He didn’t hesitate to plant a kiss on the top of her head.

And Leon could, in turn, take a deep breath. The crux of the previous joke had now been dispersed without any negative implications. It was completely up for interpretation, and nowhere near as crass as “You didn’t wash your dick properly.”

“You know how it was. Great.” Trisha grumbled, voice getting quieter by the word. She turned a bit red and hid her face behind her menu as she leaned into Casey. It wasn’t like she was a prude or anything, but it was just… uncomfortable with this audience. She found it bad enough with just Cass. At the same time, she didn’t want to not answer at all… So she did.

“But I don’t want to open the floor to having to hear about theirs!”

”Awww, don’t worry, Trish! I know you couldn’t handle that!” Cass cackled, legs swinging out to very gently kick Trisha’s under the table.
”I’m glad! That, y’know, you guys actually got some time and fun! You both look better! Not that I think it’s just that, y’know, but… I can tell!”

”It's easy when you have such a great support system.” Casey grabbed Trisha’s hand with enthusiasm, kissing her head again.
”And, y’know, you guys. For taking care of things after what happened, I’m… I’m grateful. That wasn’t easy for me.”

Leon presumed that their conversation from the night before carried over, and spoke as if there was no longer a problem… His hope was that the feeling was true.

”Like I said before, y’know, it’s the least we could do. I, just, y’know…”

Casey nodded.

”I know… There’s nothing we can do to make the mistake right, but we can move forward with the knowledge of what we’ve been through.” Casey replied in a very pragmatic tone.
”And, obviously, celebrate every little second we have with the people who are still here.”

"Exactly!" Cass enthusiastically agreed, leaning back just so that she could grin at them all.
"We gotta celebrate what we got! A lotta shit's happened, but we got each other."

She was glad things were starting off on a… positive note? Yeah, it was definitely positive! At least there was no immediate fighting, and even Trisha looked relatively calm and happy. Honestly, Cass had been expecting worse… and hoping for the best, obviously! Just the last two times all four of them were around each other, shit hadn't exactly gone amazingly.

Trisha also nodded in some amount of agreement to what Casey said, fingers wriggling against his as she tried to figure out what she wanted to say. How much she wanted to say… And how much Casey might want her to talk about here. She wasn't sure. She wanted to be able to really celebrate the people they had too… She'd rarely had people stick around long enough for that to happen. Cass and that group of friends were the longest, and even then, she was never the best at the whole celebrating people thing.

“I’m grateful too. And I want to try and move forward too, however slowly." She glanced over at Leon, then back down to the menu in front of her.

Leon obviously saw her look at him. Their eyes met. He didn’t want her to just brush it aside like that… Especially with her usual aloof nature, considering he felt it was mostly a front. Some kind of defensive posturing.

”Which, we have plenty of time for, right?” Leon asked, partly to all of them, but almost singularly to Trisha.
”I’m… Not expecting anyone to forget. You being willing to work it out at your pace is enough. I just have to, y’know, not… Well, I’d… I…”

He looked rather down now, causing Casey to frown in turn.

”C’mon big fella. Be honest.” Casey intoned, holding Trisha’s hand with intention.

”I’m scared there’s a bias I won’t be able to overcome. And, that, y’know… I’ll lose everything. Really, everything now. Maybe the heart wants what it wants, and maybe fate’s plan has intention, but none of that is concrete. So, the thought that our relationship would have the potential of hurting others around us is unpleasant.” he spoke as plainly as he could. Lelou was rather quiet for this, thankfully… Really, all this emotional stuff was for the birds; so she slept through it easily.

Trisha’s lips pressed together into a thin line. It was difficult to hear that Leon might not be able to get over whatever bias he held. Maybe some of that bias was based in reality anyway, overblown by how things were ten years ago. The worries he voiced were ones that she had too.

While with the Martin situation she was the clear victim, it wasn’t like she always had been- even if Leon himself said she’d often just been defending herself, she didn’t see it that way. Often she made herself the victim. She was difficult too… So there was a possibility that the two people he was worried about chose him instead of her.

A selfish part of her wanted to be chosen in the end. But that was unhealthy, and she had to ignore it- because Casey and Cass shouldn’t have to choose. And she loved them enough to not want them to.

“It’s unpleasant to me too. I don’t want that. I don’t want to make anyone choose between us, or for either of us to lose anything.” She managed to keep her voice even, gripping onto Casey’s hand like it was a lifeline. It was still so difficult for her to talk about stuff like this, even when two of the three people here were some of the only ones that ever managed to drag it out of her. Casey especially… But she was trying her best.

She had to actually prove that. Not just keep telling Casey she’d do better without taking any steps towards it. Her relationship with Leon… how it turned out would affect two of the most important people in her life. So the minimum she could do was force herself to talk.

“I know you probably remember me as an incredibly petty teenager… And I can’t pretend I’m not. I still hold grudges, but… I’m trying to improve. I don’t want to be that person. And even with everything that happened I… I don’t hate you. I can’t say I like you, but… I want our relationship to improve. I really do. Even if it’s going to take some time. I’m willing to try my best, even if it won’t always be pleasant- and I won’t be either. But even if it doesn’t… I’d never expect Casey to stop seeing you. Or- Or for Cass to make any decisions because of me!”

Even though her words came out rather smoothly, there was still a great deal of difficulty involved. She couldn’t look Leon- or anyone- in the eye as she spoke, gaze fixed on the menu. Her body was tense, like she was waiting for the immediate pushback to a rare show of honesty. She was because, because there always was when she spoke her mind. Well, not always… But most of the time. And she was ready to flee or snap if that happened.

Cass stayed silent for once, just listening. But she did pause finishing off the pancake stack to reach for Leon’s hand, giving it a comforting squeeze.

”But, y’know… Do you really, like… Uh… Well, like I said, I just worry that I’ve done too much, and that you won’t ever look at me like I’m not that same asshole. I’m… I understand that that you were a teenager, and my hope is that if I’m consistently open and welcoming toward you, you’ll come around. But, I’m worried any mistake I make is going to leave a bad taste in your mouth. And, if we don’t break down that kind of barrier, then it’s just gonna, like… Be the same as it always was.”

It was hard for him to say this kind of stuff, not because of the honesty, but because he felt like the villain at the table. Like everything he said had the chance to be taken as a hollow bit of bullshit that he didn’t really mean. And Trisha acknowledging that she did, in fact, hold grudges in spite of trying to get better, made him feel like it was an uphill battle that he’d never win.

”Would it be fair to, uh… Well, like, I thought, y’know-”

This kind of lack of confidence wasn’t usual. Even Casey was surprised, especially with the fact that Lelou wasn’t pushing him into some kind of fervor in order to get this over with.

”-maybe, there’d be… Shit, like, I…-”
He gripped Cass’ hand like he was about to fall off a building. He couldn’t recover this. It had to be refreshed. He held his free hand up with one finger, frowning and taking a deep breath.

”I imagined a concept that was, like, I guess a last ditch resort to spare the people around us. One that I still want you to have the opportunity to take if you think it’d be easier for you. Or, overall, better…” he cleared his throat, still not loving that Trisha wouldn’t even look at him.

Especially when he was starting to tear up. He truly wanted a friend here. The last Sycamite. The only other person in the world who may want to be around him, whom he could connect with on that kind of a level. The shared summer was an incredibly important point in his life, and as much as others could say they “got it”, they never really did. It was there, it was them, it was then.

”Don’t you think it’s a little quick to be going to the endgame option?” Casey asked calmly, tossing a concerned glance at Cass.

Cass’ immediate response was a little laugh that actually sounded kinda nervous. She got a bit more used to the new, more anxious Leon post leash breaking… But the way he was talking was like he was going to do something insanely drastic! Like, what else could a last ditch resort be?

”Uh, yeah! Jumping right to endgame shit don’t seem right when Trisha’s willing to try… What even is that? Like, you fuck off or something- something worse?! The fuck is a last ditch resort here?” Cass asked, turning her gaze from shared concern with Casey towards Leon. She did her best to push down the worry, though, and just look caring and encouraging while holding his hand tightly in return.

Even Trisha managed to pull her eyes up from the table in front of her. The actual full eye contact was brief before her gaze landed on Leon’s shoulder, but it was at least there. It helped that there hadn’t been an immediate negative response from him. At least, not directly towards her. Even though there was a lot to think about with what he’d said already… She could only focus on the immediate ‘endgame’ option.
“I don’t want you to leave or anything, if that’s what you mean.”

”That’s not what I mean. And I know everyone’s gonna be like ’Uhhh nobody wants that Leon’ but… I think that, y’know, if we had to share space, I would just… Become wooden. Not literally, but-”

”-But what? Clam up and turn into a mannequin? That’s not a solution, Leon.” Casey retorted. Leon’s face looked firm.

”But that doesn’t mean that it can’t be an option. I can’t hurt her or annoy her if there’s nothing to be hurt or annoyed by. It’s simple, its easy, and I just want her to have the opportunity to honestly consider if that would be helpful to her. Because, honestly? It’d be helpful to me. I’m horrified of saying or doing the wrong thing, and ruining any good will I have with her. I’d rather, if the deepest, truest feeling is animosity, then the victim should at least be able to regain the agency that may’ve been taken away from her. And part of that is feeling like she’s in control of the situation. Not you, not me, not us as a group… But her. I want to honor you however I can, Trisha… Run from it if you want, but… But I do care. I always have. I loved you guys. All you little fuckers, and every single situation made me horrified about what was going to happen to you, but when it mattered most, I crumbled. And yesterday really… Kind of brought that back. About how reckless I really was. And how I was responsible for innocent young people dying. And I didn’t even bother to help…”

And he was crying… It was strange to see the similarities and the differences. With Casey, it always seemed so explosive. Like if he started to cry, it wasn’t just a little… But, Leon’s voice was steady. His hands weren’t shaking. He was just leaking tears down his face.

”That’s all… Just… Honestly consider if you really would want me in your life like this, or like that. Do it one last time, and let the choice be yours. Not what keeps the peace, or keeps things ‘normal’. Make the choice that will make your life better for the long run.”

Trisha took a deep, shaky breath, holding on tightly to Casey’s hand.

It wasn’t exactly an easy consideration, not when he emphasised that it should be her choice. What did she really want? At the end of the day, she’d be content with a life with Casey and their future children and no one else. But there was contentment, because she’d never even expected to have that, and what she’d always wanted deep down.

An actual community. A family. It was part of why she ended things on such bad terms with so many Sycamites. Because many turned on her, and others let it fall apart. She tried to replace her dysfunctional family with a dysfunctional coven… Which had only made things hurt more. Even if she lost hope and gave up, and struggled the more people were around her, it didn’t mean she stopped wanting it deep down.

“When I first joined the coven, I thought it was somewhere I could belong.” She started, skipping over the immediate question to open up. Because it showed that any decision really was hers… Her reasoning.
“Even though the circumstances were fucked up… But my family’s was too, so it seemed normal. I thought it’d work out… Be that place. Obviously, it didn’t and wasn’t. I… wasn’t just a victim in that. I hurt people too! But I really did love Sycamore- and a good amount of the members- too. I thought even for all the shit, it’d last and give me… A place. That’s why when it all ended, I was so- so awful to everyone left. Because it hurt.”

She bit her lip.
“What I’m trying to say is… I’ve always wanted a community. An actual… Family. I don’t want to push one of the few people that might be part of that out because of the past… Even if you’ve hurt me a lot, so have so many people! And I’m sure I’ve hurt you… But this is my decision. Because I don’t think it’s the one that keeps the peace. It would be easier if we never talked but that’s not actually what I want. Even if we clash, and so much shit happened back then… Even back then I wanted the coven and all those people that hurt me to stay together. I didn’t leave until it was really over!”

She shook slightly, leaning into Casey as she took another deep breath. She was pulling up a lot of thoughts and emotions that had lingered for years. That she’d done her best to suppress. Around Sycamore, and her own circumstances.

“I’ve considered this kind of thing for a long time. If I ever met people from the coven again, what would I do? Try to hurt everyone, or desperately try to reconnect. I ended up just running away… But I want people in my life more than I want to hold onto my resentment, even if that’s hard to believe. It’s just that… I’ve only recently been able to accept that.”

Oh, there it is. The floodgates opened like a dam across the table. His hands covered his face, and he visibly tightened his entire body as he tried to not start absolutely sobbing.

”Y-y-you’re g-o-onna be my si-i-ister! Theres n-no world where I… I… You’re… You’re part of my everything! You are, and I was wrong, and I mistreated you, and I don’t want that to be our legacy… S-s-so if you can really accept that… If we can work together t-to end this cycle of pain? I want to do everything I can!”

Casey frowned, clearing his throat and looking around to see if any of the other patrons were watching. They weren’t but the server who was supposed to take their orders noticed him bellowing and promptly slid back into the kitchen.

”Well, alright! Then its settled! The two of you want the same thing, so we’re all in agreement that there’s nothing but love here!”
He took Trisha’s hand and brought them both into the middle of the table.
”Because Leon and I won’t have much left either… God knows where Elise goes after this, and there’s a not zero chance that Junior may go to his grave! So… It’s gotta be this table, right? These people? A new Coven. A stronger one, built on this feeling. Not necessity, not danger, not fear… Love! I hate to say it, but that sounds like the last gift that asshole Greyson left behind!”

”Yeah! That guy sure knew how to love- and there’s a lotta love here too! Even if some of it ain’t so clearly shown… But you’re right! A new coven, or something… Oh, we gotta include the girls- uh, not the pressing matter right now. To loving each other and all that!” Cass slapped her hand on top of Casey and Trisha’s, body bumping into Leon’s as she half stood. Her other arm wrapped around him encouragingly.

Trisha wasn’t quite in the same place as those two when it came to positive thinking… She certainly couldn’t say she felt love towards Leon. Yet. But she was willing to try to build towards feeling something positive. Because he was clearly sorry. She was doing her best to accept that, and let go of the resentment she’d held that hurt her as much as it did everyone else.

“You're going to have to be patient with me.” She said quietly, looking directly at Leon now. She was talking to him more than the other two, after all… They were already more adept with dealing with how she was.
“I don’t have much experience with healthy family relationships… Or any, really. Even if you can’t be as patient as I need and we clash, I still… Want to work together to make it better. I really do want to move forward… As adults. So I can be part of the group… coven, family, whatever we call it… Like I’ve always wanted.”

Leon hesitated for a moment. Casey thought he may be against it, but then he could see the gears turning in Leon’s head, and he calmed down to wait and see.

”I swear to you that I’ll be as patient as a rock waiting for more moss. That I’ll use every single bit of my conscious brain to do right by you. And, I’ll… I’ll ask you for the same kind of patience. Because, y’know, we need to recognize when we’re both working one another up, and that moment should be enough for us to snap out of it and come back to a grounded place!”

And then his hand was in, big enough to grip all of them at once.

”To the family we choose.”

Casey nodded.

”To love, and the family you choose. In the eyes of the Ancients, and all beyond their gaze, I hereby recognize the birth of this Coven, to be named at a later date, and do officiate the binding contract between present individuals. Together, all for one, today and tomorrow, forever.”

It was a little stuffy, but he’d seen Covens formed. He’d been there. A coven could really just be two dudes in a foxhole… It really was the family one chose to remain with… But, it’d be the same thing that Trisha and Leon had heard before. The day of Sycamore’s officiation, where Leon had said those same exact words alongside the other “leaders”. And everyone cheered back then, as if they had any idea what it really meant… Or what it would take to keep such a big family together. It was impossible. But, this?

In Casey’s mind, they were the Coven. No others needed to join unless they truly believed they could put forth the same kind of emotional effort that the four of them could. He believed in every word Leon said, and obviously believed that Trisha would do the same. And he expected a struggle to begin with… It would take time and effort. But, they had both. They could give both.
Though, he was counting on Cass to make the explosion of their hands in the middle, since Trisha was on the bottom and he didn’t want to let go of her hand…

”Hell yeah, to the family we choose!” Cass shouted a little too loudly, staring at Trisha until she echoed the same in a much tamer manner. Then, her hand shot up, a sudden spark of Green Lux letting her practically force Leon’s up into the air.

Trisha managed an actual smile, body relaxing. She didn’t bother trying to move her hand… She’d let Casey do the work there for the both of them. He’d put their hands in the middle, after all.

She knew it didn’t fix everything. But it gave them- her and Leon- a new place to start. And for her, it was something to actually work for. A future outside of just her and Casey… Other people that would hopefully be around. It wasn’t going to be easy… Because she’d have to continue to work on herself, and really change how she dealt with things. Actually try to be less reactive towards more than just Casey… Not that she’d been doing a good job there either. But she wanted to keep trying.

So it would actually work out where nothing had before.

“This is good… Smaller is easier to handle, but Cass is loud enough it makes it seem like there’s at least ten of us.” She commented lightly.

”Fuck yeah I am! I dunno what kinda benefit that brings… But I ain’t gonna get quieter either way!” Cass grinned, hand still raised half slapping at Leon’s in a play fight for air dominance.
”Not that I know what covens are supposed to do? I guess this is more like… Family coven! Supporting each other and shit! Oh- Oh, but I’ve always really wanted to stand around a massive, boiling pot filled with all sorts of horrible shit to make a potion and laugh evilly with a coven of witches, can we do that?!”

Leon and Casey were both laughing at Cass’ enthusiasm. Casey held Trisha’s hand tightly as it came down from the air, and he hadn’t let go. There was a little something that the two brothers weren’t exactly explaining, but at her question, Leon couldn’t much keep it in.

”Well… In the Richoux tradition, the Coven is matriarchal… So, that’s up for our Matron Trisha to decide.”

Casey grinned, turning his head slightly.
”Mmmm… So? Do you want to do some cauldroncraft? That’s practically Andrade’s specialty, he could probably teach us for the future.” he giggled, not really thinking about how much pressure Trisha may’ve felt instantly by suddenly having a title placed upon her.

Obviously, back in the day, the Coven didn’t have a “leader”. To Leon, it was non-traditional, and he’d never felt good about it. Ashley was their “leader”, and only because of the fact that nobody else had the balls or the ego at that point to step up into the spot. But, her, Daisy and Auri had always been something of a triumvirate. Decisions didn’t usually get made over their heads, and that really held things together for Leon then.

But, Trisha was someone that he figured would be get-behindable. That they could all support readily and willingly, because she needed it just as much as they all needed a guiding light. Something to look toward, and to carry, and to be proud of. A real Matron.

“H-Huh?" Trisha stammered out, eyes widening.

"Pleeeeeasssee, Trisha, I really wanna do cool shit with cauldrons!" Cass leaned across the table to flash Trisha her cutest begging look, even clasping her hands together in front of her face.

“That’s not… S-Sure, we can." Trisha managed to agree. Her shocked reaction didn't have anything to do with Cass' wish to evilly laugh around a cauldron… It was the whole Matriarch thing. Suddenly Leon was throwing a title on her and Casey was going along with it.

But she wasn't leadership material, was she? She'd never been in a leadership position. She wasn't sure she could call herself a follower with how much she pushed against authority too… She'd always just been a bit of a loner, though not by choice. But she'd never felt like she should be in charge of anything. It just left more room for fucking stuff up, didn't it? She remembered how people had felt towards the Sycamore leaders back in the day. One wrong decision, and they got a lot of the blame. It was only helped by that fact they were all bickering teenagers, quick to point the finger at someone else in the next moment or get into an unrelated argument.

And also…
“But why do we even need a leader? There's only four of us! And why me? Cass is also a woman!"

Casey giggled to himself.
”You can run your Coven how you like! If you don’t want us to function in a beholden manner, all you need to do is say so. But, if you want an answer, it’s because you’re the thing that brings us all together. You’re the center, as much as you may hate the attention, because if it weren’t for you, this wouldn’t be happening. Leon and I would, after all is done, probably just linger on, or join up with Elise to try and make a difference up North.”

Leon nodded in agreement, shrugging his shoulders.
”And I think it goes without saying; the vibes are different! All of us love you in some way, and you care enough about us. But, you’d never be the type to hold that over our heads. You’re… Not like Lynette.” he said plainly, which prompted Casey to start laughing a little more and nodding his head.

“I know that I'm not…" Trisha said quietly, even though she still believed she might have some capacity to. The things she'd consider doing to keep a hold of people she loved… But her life was finally taking a healthy direction. It shouldn't happen.

“But just because I won't be like her doesn't mean that I'm capable of running a coven. I'm not a leader like that… even when it's this small and if I'm the reason everyone's here…"

"Then just listen to us and run it like a kinda democracy! I mean, it ain't like some kinda coven formed for crazy magical war situations where that structure’s gotta be properly followed, y'know! Think about it like… You get the final say if it's necessary! Or the tiebreaker! Like, we can't decide what kinda takeaway to get, your choice wins kinda thing!" Cass piped up, before holding up a finger with a grin.

"But, uh, even if you say you don't want us beholden to you… Ain't gonna stop me! Didn't need a coven for that, you tell me to jump and I'd've done it before anyway!"

“You’re not that obedient." Trisha mumbled, looking away from Cass' overly enthusiastic expression and up at Casey.
“I don't know… I just want it to be like… A family. Or, well, something more equal… there's always someone in charge in a family…"

”This isn’t meant to make you uncomfortable, Trisha. If it’s too formal of an honor, we’ll drop it. But, it is mostly an honor. We are a family… And having someone who isn’t so confident is actually a good thing in certain circumstances. It means you won’t make stupid fucking-”
Casey cut himself off as he realized he was making a judgement that could just as easily be applied to Leon.

”-Pardon… You won’t make leadership choices without the consultation of your echelon. You’ll be willing to accept ideas and plans that aren’t yours. But, also, at least in my summation, you’re more than able to come from a place of personal strength once you feel your bullshit detector go off. Bottom line, you know when someone isn’t giving you the truth, and you can parse that out without much effort. And, if need be? You have an ancient queen inside you that you can ask for regal leadership advice.”

Leon nodded wildly.
”That’s very true! Everything Lelou’s told me about Seillean makes her seem like a super fair ruler. Like, you know how bees can be. Imagine having to wrangle trillions of them!”

“But they're still different from people." Trisha protested. Though she was sure the Queen would be able to help, bees didn't have the same emotions that people did. At least hers didn't. Maybe there'd been more intelligent and emotionally capable ones in the hive before the Queen was sealed.

The crux of the matter was that she really didn't know if it was something she wanted. Her gut instinct was no. But her gut instinct wasn't always right. It was how she isolated herself. It was just a lot to accept.

“I don't know… Can I think about it? I know you said it's mostly an honour, Casey, but it's still… It's hard for me to accept that it's something I'm actually capable of. I just… need to think about it… I guess give myself a chance to believe everything you're saying. You're right that I'd listen to everyone and make decisions based on that but I… don't know if I'm the right person to make those decisions."

Maybe it shouldn't be that big of a deal because it was only the four of them. But it was almost harder when they seemed to think she'd do it well… because wouldn't it be even more disappointing if she fucked it up?

"Well, it ain't like it's gotta be decided today or whatever… this coven shits all pretty sudden. It shouldn't change much between us right now except for being, like, more dedicated to each other! But-!" Cass jumped in, pointing at Leon.
"Lee makes a good point! Well, it wasn't really his point- Whatever, uh! You already lead and wrangle thousands of bees! Sure it ain't the trillions your ancient ghost did- yet, just wait till we get making more- but it's still a lot! Ain't thousands of bees comparable to a few people?! And you love and care for your bees, and make decisions with their best interest at heart! So… You're already a good leader! Right?”

”I can’t say those are my thoughts exactly, but pretty close. Dedication, Cass hit the nail on the head. That’s all I’m asking out of the four of us for now. Anything else, we have plenty of time to think about… I was mostly worried about the two of you, so as long as you guys agree that the right decision is to work with one another, we’re in the clear!”

He shot a burst of White Lux back into the kitchen at Andrade, who then made sure the server sauntered back out at just the right time. A new one… One that hadn’t seen Leon sobbing. He was still red faced and sniffling, but at least he wasn’t actively bellowing.

“Hey! Leon, Casey. This must be Trisha and Cass! Lots of buzz about you two. Are we all eating big this morning? Is it easier for me to just mark off what you guys don’t want?”

Casey leaned into Trisha slightly.
”Well, I’m fairly certain you're the only one of us who isn’t a pig, so… Go ahead first, my Love.”

Trisha smiled softly up at Casey, eyes creasing with gentle happiness at his consideration. Her order would be the most normal, after all, and probably the quickest to say.

"Whoa, Casey! We're wolves!" Cass exclaimed before Trisha could actually say anything, gesturing to herself and Leon with a laugh.
"So fucking rude!"

“Is it when he was including himself." Trisha countered lightly, actually glad for the moment to look at the menu properly. The food had been nice enough last time that she was willing to be a little more adventurous… or at least try to eat something sizable this early in the morning. If she didn't finish it, there were plenty of people around.

She turned from her friend to the server with a smile. The whole lots of talk about them thing made her feel a bit uncomfortable… but she was beginning to get better at tolerating that kind of attention, at least. And he was just being friendly while doing her job.
“Can I just have the enchilada eggs… And some orange juice? Thanks."

"Just that? Damn, alright, Trisha's really is gonna make the rest of us look like pigs!" Cass laughed, before following up with her own grin at the server.
"Hi! Uh, yeah, you clearly got told the right shit if y'know how much's gonna be eaten… I hope the rest of that buzz is positive… Anywayyyy I wanna try pretty much everything apart from the shit that's too fruit heavy, thanks!"

The server was laughing, and seemed to only actually write down Trisha’s order before dropping the pad.

“Well, that settles that. I don’t even really need to ask about you two.” he pointed his pen between Leon and Casey.
“And, Trisha, just as a logistical question- Where along the train-car deliveries of food would you like to actually have your meal? There’s going to be a pretty long sequence here, so we just need to know if you wanna eat early, in like the first batch? Or, sometime later on?”

“In the first batch, thanks.” Trisha replied. She was a slower eater that all the rest, after all, so she could pick her way through it.

“Okay, that’s perfect then. So, I’ve got a specific order of huevos enchilada, a bottomless juice, which if you want any other kind of juice at some point, just say so… Apple, cran, grape, whatever. And then… Yeah… A free-for-all. Family size sharing dishes for most of the stuff, and then fruit-centric personals for Casey.”

”Tito, you guys are always so good to us… Thank you.” Leon wiped some of the snot out of his nose with a napkin.

“Oh, you know we love you. It’s not like the people in the back aren’t used to bulk orders anyway… Drinks?”

”Oh, yeah, cola…”

”Coffee, and apple juice.”

”What kinda beers do you have?” Cass asked, before laughing at her own joke.
”Just a cola for me too, thanks!”

Tito scribbled the drinks down, then looked up one last time with a smile.
“Alright! Then, I’ll be back with drinks in a minute, and food will start to roll out probably in ten!”
He reached down to clear up the empty plates, then nodded his head at them before sliding his way back to the kitchen doors, disappearing behind them.

”He’s a good guy. Real people person.” Casey commented with a smile.

“He seems nice.” Trisha replied with her own smile, managing to properly relax now they had their food order in and everything seemed settled between them. At least as settled as it could be at this point.

”Oh yeah, you can always tell when it’s forced or natural!” Cass grinned, fingers tapping on the table in front of her now that she didn’t have any pancakes to occupy them with.
”Y’know, fake friendliness for the tips… But I bet Andrade pays real well anyway! But, y’know, when you’re a people person you just get that natural advantage… Like when I worked in a diner! Job sucked ass, but fuckin’ hell did I rake in a shit ton’a cash in tips! Almost made the shit worth it!”

“You only had to get that job because you lost your scholarship from slacking off.” Trisha intoned.

”Well, yeah! I ain’t complaining ‘bout that! Could’ve been worse! Honestly was better than that IT support gig I did at the uni for a couple’ve months… God, that was literal hell!”

”I’m pretty sure people kill one another for jobs at Andrade’s restaurants. It’s the expectation of professionalism. When this place is busy, it’s busy. So, they’ve all gotta be used to that kind of pace. And if you’re expected to do everything right at that speed, you should get compensated for it.” Leon nodded along, taking a deep if not ragged breath.

”What sort of tech were you supposed to be supporting to make it that bad, Cass? I thought you were a wiz at that kind of thing, so clearly it wasn’t hard... But, bad? Just, like, customers?” Casey was terribly curious, and his head turned to Trisha with a surprised expression before turning back to Cass.

”Oh yeah, it was the customers! Fucking hell, try to explain something basic and they’re like ‘but it didn’t work’ and then it’s like ‘ok well did you try this’ and it turns out they just ignored what you said! Or just, don’t know how to restart their own fucking computer!” Cass threw up her hands, one landing on Leon’s leg on the way down to give it a good, kind of comforting pat.

“Cass doesn’t have any patience for tech illiteracy.” Trisha explained, glancing up at Casey with a smile.
“Or it’s more like… She’s too good, so she doesn’t understand how people can’t get it.”

”Hey, that’s not fair, I’m plenty patient! With the nice customers! Like, y’know, the ones that’d actually listen to me!” Cass whined jokingly, lips pursing into an exaggerated pout.
”It was the fucking trifecta… Incompetent people who wouldn’t listen, people who thought they knew better than me, and impatient fuckers who didn’t realise there was a fucking line and we were slammed! I may be good at that shit, but I only got two hands, y’know!”

”Oh, so you’d be better at it now that you can make more hands?”

Casey instantly cracked up, head tilting back as he filled the restaurant with laughter. He didn’t even know why the innocuous comment was so funny, but it sent him into a laughing fit, and he had to wipe tears away from his eyes before finally settling back down. Leon laughed too, but only at how his brother had taken it and was now acting. It was nice to see him so chipper after yesterday… Which meant sex was, once again, the clear winner of personal therapy.

”I mean, it was a legitimate question!” Leon pressed.

Cass let out a thoughtful hum, rubbing her chin. It wasn’t something she’d actually thought about! Since, y’know, it wasn’t a job she ever wanted to go back to if she could help it. It’d drive her insane! Also, wasn’t like she needed to… She could find actual coding jobs nowadays. But! It sure was an interesting thing to think about.

”For some things, yeah! Like the easy tasks, or when I’m doing the same shit on two computers… But unless I split my brain, it ain’t gonna work for everything. And I bet the customers would still find something to complain about!” Cass answered seriously, before grinning and bringing a hand up to pat Leon’s face.
”But I got my hands full with you, Babe, so I gotta dedicate at least two to that- so I’d need, like, four more to make things more efficient!”

Trisha let out a quiet groan.
“Cass, please…”

”What? I didn’t even mean it as a sex joke, God, Trisha!” Cass immediately started cackling, smirking across the table at her friend.
”Whoa, you really think that’s all I think about, don’t you?! I was thinking like two arms to hug while I do IT shit on the side! Or, like, keep a hold of him so he doesn’t go off do something crazy!”

Trisha rolled her eyes, though she was smiling. In a clearly good mood too, even if there wasn’t any raucous laughter from her like there had been Casey. But seeing him enjoy himself only made her more comfortable.
“Like you’d stop anyone from doing anything crazy.”

”Uh, obviously I would… when my boyfriend’s running off to do some crazy shit without me! That shit’s gotta be done together!”

Their drinks arrived just as Casey was about to make his own impulsive mistake. The question bashed his brain as a strand of pain managed to crawl its way back into his mind. The elevator. Crazy shit without me. So, they’d made that decision together? Or, at least, she hadn’t had any sort of compulsion to think that there was a second, better way? But, he and Leon had been over and over it, and the agreement in the end was that there wasn’t going to be any more problems in regards to this. It was as water under the bridge as they could get.

So he took a deep breath and dumped some sugar in his coffee.
”Oh, you two… You really are made for one another.” he grinned, raising his mug at them gently before looking at Trisha.
”You never would’ve imagined this, huh? Did you know how into Leon she was before? Like, did you ever mention that you knew him to her?”

Trisha shook her head. If she'd told Cass before, things probably would've turned out quite different. She loved Cass, but her friend didn't always know when to stop… so who knows if she would've been pushy about trying to meet the guy she was a fan with that Trisha had no contact with at the time. Worse, really, with how she hadn't exactly felt any less resentful at nineteen than she had at fourteen.

“I knew how into Timberwolf she was, because she always called him that. I only went into her room a few times. I did think the guy on the posters looked scarily like the Leon from the coven I was in as a teen, but I kinda brushed it off. It'd been five years at that point so I wasn't sure I remembered his face properly! Maybe I was in denial, but I didn’t really put two and two together till y’know… She got all excited when visiting. So I didn't mention it before.”

”Honestly, probably a good thing! I bet shit wouldn't’ve worked out so nicely! The circumstances were kinda perfect, y’know?” Cass laughed, grinning at the other couple across the table while leaning into Leon. As was the way with her, the lean into him only lasted so long until she was bouncing the other way, a constant ball of energy that'd only stay still when captured. Or at least, she'd then end up vibrating in a single spot.

”If I’d known back then I'd probably’ve followed Trisha back home every summer and been on the prowl in the streets for him. Y’know, not super creepy, just hoping to accidentally bump into each other! Or I’d haunt all’ve the St Portwell goth clubs, lying in wait… Totally would’ve ended with me in a jail cell! Or, worse… With a restraining order from him!”

”Christ, I thought Lelou was the predator.” Casey grinned, giggling and looking at Leon.

His thought in turn was a world where that happened. By chance, some crazy British stalker managed to find him through hook or crook and eventually wriggled her way into his life…

”That’s kind of soulmate shit, isn’t it? Some real connection type attraction that spans across time and space, right? It’s like, you would’ve caught on eventually. You would’ve put two and two together, and we’d have been united through fate!” Leon gripped at Cass’ hand warmly, with a wide and silly grin plastered on his face.

He was joking mostly, but it was nice to know that, in the game of five degrees, he was so easily connected to someone whose love toward him was so genuine. She easily transcended that fan/friend borderline with a bit of legitimacy, and a chance at some genuine interaction… Or, as genuine as it could be at the time. Now she was getting more, but in turn he’d gotten so much of her, that there didn’t seem to be a reason to want to go back. He was in love… But he’d only said it once in duress! He didn’t ever want to smother her with it, or to appear that desperate.

”Is that gonna be a song on an album one day, Lee?” Casey continued to prod, causing Leon to sigh for a long moment and shake his head while smiling.

”I’ll let that one ruminate.”

”Song about what?! An alternative universe where his girlfriend was actually a crazy stalker- oh wait, you probably mean the soulmate shit, right!” Cass laughed, mind immediately going to what would be the way goofier inspiration. Or dark and creepy if he’d wanted to go that way…

She grinned up at Leon, squeezing his hand.
”Glad your mind went right to alternate world fate connections and not ‘oh my god she really is super crazy.’”

“Wasn’t that obvious from the start? The you being super crazy thing.” Trisha commented, laughing softly.

”Well, yeah but not like- Not that I actually would’ve, y’know, I ain’t actually a stalker… Not unless you want me to be.” Cass waggled her eyebrows at Leon, Trisha instantly groaning in response. Cass didn’t actually give anyone a chance to verbally respond to that, knowing it would just be Trisha complaining about her making that kind of comment. Not that it was even that bad!

”But… Imagine how cool it could’ve been, maybe me and Lee would’ve gotten you guys together!” She grinned, gesturing between Trisha and Casey with her free hand.

“Well that… Sort of happened with Leon, right?” Trisha tilted her head up towards Casey with a smile, before looking back at Cass.
“At least, he pushed me onto Casey because he knew who I was. I don’t think I’ve ever been so grateful for someone not wanting to deal with me.”

She tried to keep her tone as light as possible, in the hopes of making it clear there were no hard feelings… Though it wouldn’t necessarily come across. But obviously, that night had turned out as well for her as it ever could have. She met the love of her life, after all.

Leon cleared his throat with a nervous smile.
”Well, I just knew that the most patient person in my life was right there. It was just another instance of that lovely little F word… And, Babe-”
His glare turned more wry and cunning as he twisted his head to face Cass.
”-being my girlfriend and my crazy stalker should go hand in hand…You can stalk me all you like.”

”Oh blehhhhhhh!” Casey chided at the two of them, laughing to himself before smiling down at Trisha.
”She should stalk you and murder you, like some crazy wolf… mother…”

Casey’s own sarcastic expression turned between Trisha and Leon as if he was looking for confirmation that it was okay to joke about the events that had passed.

Trisha let out a quiet laugh, not seeming bothered by the joke at all. The fact her expression hadn’t gotten any worse and she didn’t actually say anything was pretty indicative of that, with how reactive she was when actually upset. It was in the past now, after all. There’d only been a few coven members she was actually close to that died… And she’d had her moment of struggle with that.

Obviously, the low level grief about the events wouldn’t just go away. But she didn’t mind the joke… Not when it came from Casey, at least.

”Whoa, no way, I’d never murder him!” Cass protested, waving a hand in front of her face.
”Maybe an accidental death by exhaustion, but no murder! I’m only stalking with super sexy intentions!”

Though she played it off as a joke, Casey had inadvertently managed to poke one of Cass’ little worries… Or, well, maybe a big one! The whole going off the rails and killing everyone she loved thing! Sure, it didn’t seem that possible now, especially with some time after that lovely Wampus induced dream, but! The fear still lingered, especially with how shaky her magic control was.

She did grip Leon’s hand a bit tighter before continuing.
”Besides… That ain’t possible when Lelou’s around. Thankfully going full Black Widow spider ain’t one’ve my kinks, heh. For both of us, obviously!”

”You’ve bitten my head a couple of times now.” Leon said simply, sticking his tongue between his teeth at her.

”With blunt teeth! I ain’t bitten it when they were sharp!” Cass retorted playfully, her tongue poking right back out at him.
”Like you ain’t a biter too!”

Trisha stared at them with a deadpan expression for a moment, before looking up at Casey and speaking as if the other two weren’t even there.
“I’m not even bothered by this anymore, because it feels more like school yard bickering than anything sexual.”

”Hey! We’d never bicker! I’m just defending my honour!” Cass protested, hands flinging into the air and accidentally smacking Leon’s chin as she’d edged more into his space.
”I don’t want everyone thinking I’m some one sided mauler! Or that one day Leon’s gonna turn up with, like, half his face gone. Or worse- I bite so hard I eat his brain and turn into a brain eating zombie!”

”I bite places you don’t typically expose, that's all I’m saying… If either of us was gonna leave visible marks being careless, it's you, Miss Hickeymarker…” Leon continued to tease Cass, poking at her playfully as the other two looked on.

Casey shook his head, turning to Trisha.
”We’re too vanilla for this…” he commented before turning back to the others.
”Nobody is worried about you mauling Leon, Cass. He’s basically unmaulable, I mean, look at him!”

”That's terribly hetero of you, assuming just because I’m so big and capable that I can’t be a mauling victim…” Leon grinned wryly.

”You misunderstand. You can’t be mauled because you like it. Proven over time, you enjoy being mauled and sometimes seek it out.” Casey did his best to keep a straight face, turning to Cass.
”Please, help me out of this…”

”Oh suddenly he doesn't want to talk about getting mauled…

Cass laughed loudly, slapping the table with one hand.
”You’re asking the wrong person for help, dude! And, I mean, it still counts as mauling even if the victim enjoys it! Y’know what the real problem is?!”

She turned to Leon with a wide grin.
”There ain’t ever any marks anymore! You just fucking heal ‘em! So no matter how much I maul you-”

“You’re both about to be mass stinging victims if you keep this up.” Trisha interrupted drily, trying to save Casey- and herself- from the topic he had kind of made go on by interacting with it in the first place.

”Ooo, don’t threaten me with a good time!”

“I’m threatening you with a bad time. A very bad time.” Trisha intoned, turning her judgmental gaze from Cass and Leon towards Casey, softening. Then a teasing smile pulled up her lips and she raised a hand to gently rub his cheek.
“But don’t worry, Babe. I’ll never judge you for any painfully hetero comments you make.”

”You guys hear that? I get a full pass to be super fucking sexist.” Casey joked, his smile growing as wide as it could.

Around that same comment, the food started to arrive… the table was suddenly full of sweet morning scents mixed together with those grilled spices from the various meats that accompanied Leon and Cass’ first course. Casey was privy to a beautiful looking fruit medley with the telltale addition of Trisha’s honey and some other dipping options. Rather than leave Trisha out of the loop until her meal, there were some more fruits that wound up slid into her general space.

”Saved by the food, Casey…”
”Obviously, I could see them rolling the tray out.”

”Whoa, you weren’t paying full attention to our riveting conversation? Damn!” Cass joked, immediately tearing into some of the meat in front of her. Since Casey and Trisha were there now, she at least ate like a human… Not just shoving a massive piece in her mouth and tearing it to shreds, but actually using cutlery and all that shit. She let out a quiet groan as the flavour hit her tongue.

”Fuck, it’s so fucking good!”

Trisha smiled, picking up a strawberry in front of her and leaning into Casey’s space to steal some of her own honey to dip it in.

”Speaking of so fucking good!” Cass pointed a hand over at the honey.
”Trisha’s honey! Fuck, you’re gonna keep supplying us when all this shit’s over, right? Actually- What are your plans after all the shit’s gone down. Trisha said leaving the city but not much else. I ain’t just asking cause’ve my selfish honey eating wants- but I’m your bee flesh supplier! If you wanna grow even more later, y’know. Also, like, the whole coven thing.”

Trisha didn’t say anything, because she had the honey covered strawberry in her mouth right at that moment. Instead she looked up at Casey to answer for them.

Casey looked thoughtful for a moment. Could he joke around more? Absolutely. But ultimately, these two were privileged parties, and they could all easily reconnect later anyway. So, Casey figured he’d be honest.

”Uh, specifics? Well, we want to get the fuck out of St. Portwell. I’m thinking of one of the empty states. Montana’s appealing; four seasons, plenty of land, loose magical regulation from what the goons in the PRA have told me. Plenty of open space to plant flowers, and roots. Maybe develop a big ol’ chunk for naturalized agriculture. I’m thinking we’d do natural gardens; lots of planting whatever local crops can help the environment, or will grow without disturbing the natural order. I’m hoping to court some spirits. Good apparitions to encourage the land, protect it in return for a little pampering here and there. Hell, maybe they’ll recognize the Queen.”

Casey talked so casually about setting up a magical ecosystem that he didn’t see Leon frowning through his barnyard sandwich. Runny egg leaked from the back of it, and in the pause, he managed to lose most of it to the plate.

”So… You’re gonna continue Eden?”

”I’d like to, in my own way. Hopefully others want to come with us, instead of leaving for Elise’s plans or taking themselves to another coven. Trisha being matron helps, because people will have someone to rally around. Especially if we contextualize the Queen being the main benefactor.”

This wasn’t the first time Casey was implying life beyond just the two of them in their own private world. The truth was, he was so used to the crowding that he had boiled it all down to the benefits. There were a lot of positives to having active staff, after all. Plenty of hands… And if they didn’t trap them? If they treated them like friends and employees, rather than pawns and resources, there’d never be a conflict deep enough to endanger them… It was an ideal.

Trisha didn’t say anything, munching on her fruit and trying not to get too tense when Casey mentioned others- and more than that, her as matron to whatever it ended up being. He’d already mentioned it not just being them a few times. While she’d at least accepted there’d probably be certain closer family or friends that might come along, or join at some point in the future, a whole community was something she was still mentally battling with. She hadn’t really pushed back on it yet because… Wouldn’t that make her look bad?

She said she wanted a community, but not too much. It seemed hypocritical. And it was still a long way off, they had time to figure out the details. She certainly wasn’t going to get upset about it right now.

But the whole matron thing made her more uncomfortable. She could maybe handle being part of a larger group. But being in charge? That terrified her.

”Huh, I mean, it suits you! I can see you out on the fields y’know… harvesting shit. I dunno about the Eden thing, but a magical ghost sponsored farm is pretty cool! Loads’ve space for bee hives and shit too, that’ll really expand the honey business.” Cass grinned, ever positive.
”I’m surprised you’re down for it, Trisha… Always kinda pictured you as a city gal!”

“It’s not like we’re going to be living in a cabin in the woods with no running water.” Trisha paused her nervous nibbling to respond to Cass.
“Casey’s promised me all the modern amenities I need, anyway. Even magical internet.”

”Oh, sweet! That’s good, cause if I had to start texting you, I think I might go mad!” Cass laughed.
”I mean, that sounds pretty nice. You guys really are planning to settle down, huh? So you’re planning some kinda… communal coven thing where everyone helps each other? Trisha and the Queen being at the centre is certainly a selling point… But maybe I’m biased!”

”Plenty of people will be displaced by what happens to the Temple. I see no reason to not help out however we can… And if we’re living off the land, it cuts costs down. I can keep paying the government’s property tax indefinitely, and we can probably work some funky federal bullshit out to get extra land-use variances so we don’t have too many unscheduled visits from officials.”

”Are you really sure about this?” Leon interrupted, a slight frown on his face.
”It just… Kind of sounds like the Temple in a new place.”

Casey shrugged in response, looking at Trisha before turning back to Leon.

”I think that comes from a place where all we really know is the Temple. If I wanted people isolated and unable to escape the circumstance, I’d go to Alaska. And I wouldn’t be offering fibre-speed internet connections to the outside world… We can get everything we need sticking in the lower 48, and I’m not holding some big recruitment drive either. The people who want to stick with me and Trisha will have to express their own desire to join us. I know Trisha doesn’t want that many people to deal with to begin with… But if we can get fifteen or twenty other people who just want to live simple, magical lives together? Why not form a community beneath the Coven? We’re safer that way, and everyone’s lives are enriched by each others’ presence. Like, for instance, you two! Imagine raising children alongside one another? There’s great security in that! And tremendous love…”

”Whoa, let’s not jump right to talking about raising kids, damn! That’s waayyy in the future!” Cass held her hands up to ward off the assumptions that there’d even be kids. Sure, probably! Leon was pretty set on having one even if shit fell apart between them… And, well, Cass could see herself having kids with him. She just wasn’t prepared to make that decision after only a month together.

She turned to look up at Leon.
”But he is right, Babe… It ain’t really the Temple two point oh if it ain’t got all the culty stuff. Or, y’know, the religious aspect and shit too! It’s more like a small town that works closely together that just happens to have magic, y’know. Well, maybe the magic’s more important than that… But, either way! I guess, maybe it’s taking some of the good parts of the Temple… But we all know Trisha ain’t jumping to control a whole group’ve people!”

“I’d rather not be in charge of anyone.” Trisha commented. The thought of people looking to her for decisions already made her feel a bit stressed. But the peaceful future with Casey outweighed that stress… She just hoped there’d be a nice balance.
“And I definitely don’t want another Temple. I just want to… live. And if other people live around us, helping out, and we help them, I guess that isn’t too bad.”

”Yeah, a tight knit community and shit!” Cass nodded, before rubbing the back of her neck.
”But, uh… I ain’t sure we’d be coming along? At least, not at the start? Lee wants to pick his boxing career back up… And honestly, I ain’t sure I wanna be tied down to a place yet! Maybe by the time kids come into the picture, though, heh.”

”There’ll always be a big slab of land for you to slap a home down on… Come Hell, or high water.” Casey raised his coffee.

He wanted to get hung up on the concept of Trisha being a matron… About the idea that they could do whatever they wanted, and that her perception wasn’t a guaranteed reality. That being “in charge” didn’t always mean you were some kind of turgid disciplinarian who micromanaged people. It was the idea of being there to answer questions, and to know the plan from the source… To be a voice of reason for people with unreasonable expectations, or to speak in place of those who couldn’t speak up themselves. It was about being in the middle without being the center.

One day, he hoped she’d know from experience. And he hoped that experience would give her more and more confidence… But for now, all he could do was bide his time.

”In Montana? I mean… Fair? I’d almost certainly need to hire someone to run a portal service back to civilization. Three or four hours from the nearest podunk airfield, just to get flown into some backwater airport and ride another couple of hours at least to a major city? That’s rough. Though, uh… It’s not like I’d be opposed with that concession being made. Even if I was boxing, it’d be easy enough. Remember, Babe… Magic! Things that inconvenience normal people are only so inconvenient with magic.” Leon shrugged at Cass, laughing to himself slightly.

”Fucking hell, I’m still getting used to that shit! Course magic just fixes everything… Well, I still ain’t about settling down like that in the next few years! I wanna be on the roaaaadd…” She twisted in her seat to lightly and playfully punch Leon’s side.
”Like a groupie except I’m actually, y’know, dating the celebrity I’m following! Honestly, I wanna live life a lot more before even deciding to stay in one place properly. I’d love to fucking travel around a bunch sometime! So I sure as shit ain’t ready to move to a communal farm in Montana yet- uh, sorry.”

The last bit was said to Trisha and Casey specifically.

“Don’t be… Like Casey said, there’ll be a place for you whenever.” Trisha smiled.
“It’s not like there’s a time limit. Doesn’t hit the two year mark and we go, no fuck them, we’ll give that land to someone else.”

”Yes it does. Two years, then we sell your chunk of the property to real estate speculators before the next population boom forces them to build highrise apartments on the spot.” Casey grinned, clearly joking.

”Actually, it’s plenty of time to have a house built how we want it. Or, at least, how I want it.” Leon replied, looking down at Cass and frowning slightly.
”Since, y’know, things could always fall apart. Could meet some better boxer on the road.” he teased her.

”That’s harsh! Cass, would you really?” Casey goaded, popping a handful of grapes into the little bowl of sugar before plucking them out one by one.

Cass rubbed her chin, brow furrowing as if she was really deep in thought.
”Well… You never know. Some new boxer could come along that’s taller, sexier and better company!” She joked. She definitely didn’t picture things falling apart because she met a better boxer… She’d already bagged the one she was the biggest fan of! If it fell apart, it’d be because there were issues between them, not something external like that. Obviously, she hoped that wouldn’t end up happening.

“Are there… Any people taller than Leon, that aren’t related to him?” Trisha questioned. Reaching anywhere near seven foot wasn’t exactly common naturally. Sure, probably magically… She frowned a bit as she tried to figure out how possible what Cass suggested was.

”Well, uh, yeah, probably? It’s a hard combo to beat, though.” Cass grinned, twisting her body again to face Leon and reaching up to squish his cheeks. It wasn’t like height was an actual factor… Well, maybe she did have a tendency to be more attracted to taller, buffer people- but! She didn’t have some minimum height requirement. She just wanted to make it clear how unrealistic something like that would be.

”Y’know what I like most about you, Babe? Your positivity. Always the optimist.” She teased, before shooting a glance towards Casey and Trisha to mock whisper.
”Still, save me a spot on the other side of the community. Just in case… Then we can have an across town rivalry.”

”Of course! As long as you both promise to keep your drunken anniversary flings out of our collective space, you’ll have yours. Part and parcel for each of Trisha’s bridesmaids. Right, Babe?”
Casey gave Trisha a genuinely cute smile, and she’d be able to feel his fingers press up tightly against the edge of her ring. His hand was warm, if not a little sticky from the residual honey. He grinned widely upon noticing, pulling away and licking his fingers before rubbing them with a napkin.

”Sorry… Want me to clean it? I mean, I just want a reason to stare at it.”
He reached back down, pulling her hand up above the table to start polishing her ring with a napkin.

”Oh, you’re such an ass… The fucking thing cleans itself I bet.” Leon chided, snorting a bit as he tried not to laugh aloud.

”I have no clue.”

“Better not to risk it, in case it doesn’t.” Trisha commented, looking a mixture of smug and loving as she watched Casey. Even if it wasn’t actually necessary, the little bits of care he gave her always filled her with warmth. She really was the luckiest… And she’d brag about how amazing he was to the whole world if she could.

”D’awwwww.” Cass quickly swallowed the big chunk of a sandwich she’d bitten into, squishing up her own cheeks to watch them like it was some kind of romantic sitcom.
”I get a bigger plot of land cause I’m, like, the chief bridesmaid or whatever you call it!”

“I never gave you that role, you decided that yourself.”

”Well, yeah, but I’m your best friend! Who else would it be… Rey? Diyah? Oh, fuck, you weren’t thinking of Sal, were you? I’ll give it up to him if we get to put him in a dress!” Cass started absolutely cackling at the thought.

Trisha laughed too, shaking her head.
“Well… Since you’ve already decided, it’s easiest to go along with that. I don’t want to add any extra stress to my wedding planning.”

Cass smirked, looking at Casey and Leon conspiratorally.
”Awww, she’s such a tsundere… Just can’t admit she wants it to me!”

”A what now? That’s some anime thing, right?” Casey asked with a half-hazed over look. He wasn’t sure of what he was getting into in a very clear fashion, causing Leon to wave his hands in a warding fashion.

”Oh, please, I know you. As soon as she starts explaining you’re gonna turn your brain off.” Leon asserted, at which point Casey giggled and nodded his head.

”All it means is that she’s perfect to me.”