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5 yrs ago
Who here likes cuddles?
9 likes
5 yrs ago
If your girl can't crack your skull between her thighs then whats the point of even being a human being.
7 likes
6 yrs ago
Identities are confusing to figure out.
4 likes
6 yrs ago
How do wing.
6 yrs ago
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
3 likes

Bio

Well hello.

I guess I should introduce myself, huh.

I'm Gardevoiran, just some schmuck going to college and working towards getting a degree in Fine Arts.

I do commissions and what-not, and you can ask me to do a commission for you through my Discord (Gardevoiran #1429) or up here through RPGuild PMs, and I receive donations and payment through my Ko-fi page. Clicking the box right below here will take you to it.



I'm a nerd. I play Pokemon religiously, I dabble in some anime, I write up here, and I love watching incredibly awful movies and just making fun of them. Specifically things like "Leo the Lion" and what not.

I don't have much else to say, so I guess I can leave you guys with a really bad joke.

"What do you call a cow with two legs?"
"Lean beef."

Most Recent Posts


Employment

Eve paused as she heard the offer. "Wait, hold on. You want me to be a superhero?" Eve tilted her head as she pulled her hood down from her head, rolling up her sleeves to reveal her feathers that she didn't like to show. She saw the van doors were closed, so she wasn't too worried about revealing her identity to the people inside the van. They already seemed to know it, so it wasn't much of a bother to her. Eve was mainly still confused about why they wanted her.

"I-I gotta say, it's definitely a tempting offer, but why me? Why not someone like Wet Towel or Arete?" Eve shrugged. "Is the reckless and kamikaze harpy that tempting of a hero to the Union?"






Skylar fist pumped as Seabreeze flew back over to his head, landing in it and letting out a loud "Gull!" He was quite proud. He wasn't in the best spot there, but Seabreeze knew how to bring the heat when it came to battling! Skylar couldn't help but reward Seabreeze with some light pats on his head, not enough to hurt him, since he was a little scratched up there still. "Good job Seabreeze!"

He looked over at Paradise, who had definitely done well in her debut battle, though she was still exhausted from that too. Poor girl. "Good job, Paradise. Have a good nap for a little." Skylar said as he prodded his way over to her before tapping her with her Pokeball, the Tropius returning.

Immediately after the chaos with Marowak and Cubone, Earl came over to apologize for the actions of the ground types. "Eh, don't worry about it. It's just what they do. Ho-oh knows my dad was super scared to have me leave Freecape and start this journey." Skylar gave a reassuring smile to Earl before he looked over at Celebrity, who happened to be standing in front of Vivia and her Venonat.

"Hey Vivia!" Skylar shouted as he walked over to them, using the blurry outlines of their forms as a guide. "Did you see that battle! Isn't Earl the..." He got a few feet away from them when he heard the faintest snore from Vivia. He then turned his gaze to Celebrity before giggling a little. "So that's what the Sing was for earlier!" He heard it, but just faint enough for it to have no effect. "Celebrity, if you could, wake them up as gently as you can?"

He looked at Earl again before shooting him a thumbs-up. "Heh, that was a fun battle. Unfortunately, Paradise isn't exactly in the best shape to continue, and my team really could use a nice rest," Skylar started as he stepped back over to Earl. "I think I've gotta go and get my team to a Pokemon Center, though I kind of want to check out Route 3 first. I don't suppose you'd happen to know which way I'd go to get back?"

Celebrity, all the while, went over to Vivia and furrowed her gaze. She was asleep, and not giving Celebrity pets! What kind of travesty is this?! As if she wasn't thinking, Celebrity decided that using Pound to wake her up wouldn't be a bad idea, so after raising her stubby arm up in the air above Vivia's leg...

Celebrity used Pound!








Budew fainted!

Alright! Skylar was one Pokemon up on Earl. Pretty good start for an early battle, he thought. He had to definitely think of how he was going to proceed though, since Earl didn't just have one Budew to fight Skylar with.

Herbalist Earl sent out Elgyem!

"A Psychic Type, eh?" Skylar pressed his sunglasses up to the bridge of his nose as he figured out his next strategy. He knew what he was going to do, but he just had to execute it well. Could he do it? Only time would tell.

Or maybe some overseeing lord. Arceus, maybe?



Digbie stood at brushy edge of the woods, gazing at the cracks within the mountain crags and getting a little worried. His MP was fully recovered, sure, but he was a little worried he'd lose the way and not remember where to go. Quickly, he pulled his Curved Rock out and started to drag it along behind him. The path in the dirt should stay for a little while, allowing him to simply follow that back to where he needed to go in order to find the stream and reunite with his friends. He still had to get back to them, anyhow, since they only had a day before the Goblins returned.

When he got to where he stopped again, he stared longingly at the darkness in the cleft. He felt like that's where he needed to go, but he was still afraid of what would be there if it wasn't where he was headed. Since he had a moment to stop, he did think about his next steps forward.

He organized his thoughts, before cracking his knuckles and speaking aloud to himself (and any gods that were watching). "Earth God? Digbie again... uh... am I heading along the right path to where you want me to go?" Once his question was over, he approached the darkness carefully before placing his hand on the ground and cranking out a {Tremor Sense III}, checking if the path was safe for him to go through and if there were any baddies on the other side.

After both of those things were over, he raised his hands up close to the Blessed White Yill in his hair, and he channeled a Mana Orb right near the bulb of the plant. Just close enough for experimentation, but far enough to keep the Yill safe in his hair. He wanted to keep that flower safe in his hair, as it was the closest thing he had to a spirit guide right now.

If all went well with the cave, he was ready to go in.





@POOHEAD189
dag nabbit pewhad.

From the Ashes I

The Protectorate, just as boring as ever. At least, the crimes in the city she was stationed in were pretty minor at best. Not much action went on in the streets outside of more minor things, and normally Alex wasn't the first to show. That responsibility came down to those Wards that had been around. Meh, Alex only liked one of them, anyway. When she was needed, she was always going to be told by someone in the higher ups. Outside of that, it was pretty lax in her room, with every part of the fungal colony living as it should be.

The TV monitor on the wall broadcasted the current ongoings of Denver, the city that had taken massive news alerts as the big gang there decided to unleash an all-out attack on the city. From what was covered, it was total chaos there, and the incoming broadcast from the head honcho of the biggest gang in Denver wasn't anything to scoff at. Breaking the Unspoken Rules, admitting to controlling masses, and then preparing to kill someone live on TV and score a nasty Kill Order on himself. Gross.

Though, when she could hear something through the TV Screen, she immediately knew what it was.

"Endbringer?" she thought aloud, lifting her head up from the mossy rock it was resting on. "How convenient for the people of Denver." She was joking, of course. It was really damn awful, actually. Denver really did not deserve this kind of crap right now, what with the gang war that was going on. Though, that being said, Endbringers do seem to like choosing really bad times to show up.

Her communicator buzzed on another rock as Alex grabbed it and listened to the message.

"Phoenix, did you hear about what's going on in Denver?" the voice rang out around the room. Alex threw it on speaker so she could find and put all of her appropriate cape outfit on.

"You mean the gang war or the Endbringer?"

"Ah, I see you've been keeping up. I didn't know if you'd be... uh... meditating."

"Am I being deployed to go to Denver?" She tied her bandanna around her neck as she finished her question.

"How did you-"

"You only ever call my comms outside of missions when situations like these arise." Alex was curt, because it was normally true. She never had any sort of actual pleasant conversation with her director, considering she didn't like talking to people. Talking led to forming bonds, and the only two people who she didn't mind talking to were her therapist and mother.

"... the Mover will be here in 3 minutes to get you. The room where you
ll be departing from has been sent to you. Stay safe."


"Fine." She grabbed her communicator and put it to her waist, stepping outside of her room and checking it. Conference Room 1 it was. It wasn't long after that the teleporter arrived, and everything went white for a moment.

Then, she was in Denver, waiting with every other cape that had arrived at the city to help out with the fight against the Endbringer here. Hell, even Legend was here. Crazy to think about, one of the Triumvirate being here. Outside of that, there were tons of other faces and names that showed.

She couldn't help but admit that, even with her strength augments, she felt really out of place.

Meh, whatever. She pulled her bandanna over her mouth and looked out onto the city, waiting for the inevitable beat to draw forth and start it's assault on Denver.






Skylar carefully stepped down to the ground and ran to where he thought the other side of the arena was (he had to use his cane to prod his way there, but he wasn't too afraid of this battle, although he certainly felt like he should. With the stuff made by Earl, there was no telling how this battle could go, though he certainly wasn't about to lose so easily to Earl, not at all.

As he got his bearings of the battlefield spatially (and as Celebrity waddled over to his side), he could've sworn he heard a familiar jingle echo in his head.

Herbalist Earl wants to battle!

Skylar pondered who to send in first. Celebrity was a big no, since she was still kind of low on health and he didn't want to use his one Potion on her just yet. Seabreeze was still a bit affected by the Herb that Skylar gave him a while ago, leaving the last party member up in peak condition, and ready to rock and roll.

"C'mon, Paradise. It's time to show us what ya got!"

Paradise raised her head before happily stomping her way over to the battlefield, ruffling her wings out before standing ready to fight.

Rising Star Skylar sent out Paradise!

He was ready to rock and roll right along with her. They could definitely do this, no doubt.




Before all the debriefing, Copper nodded a simple nod towards Sunni with a simple smile on his face. Yeah, it wasn't the terrifying monster of a creation that Papa Bear truly was, but it was the closest thing he could find that could give him a good hot drink.

Damn, the crew was really past the Red Line, huh. Copper wasn't surprised by that, since he figured the group had to be somewhat past it by now since they wasted so much time checking up on their Dragons and such (honestly, he didn't know why. Most dragons should've been in tip top shape from the get go, since the crews knew about this mission for like a good month or so... at least he did). All the Uplift could do was sit back and listen to the debriefing.

He quietly sipped his coffee as he listened to each step, getting every detail in about it and memorizing it. From the Graveyard with vessel wreckage acting as cover, to hitting the Shard in their blind spot and setting up a Phase Gate in order to heavily contribute to a war effort, making the Shard split their offenses towards two sides and eventually choking out every little resource they had until they were gone. It was a pretty straightforward plan, verbally speaking. The matter of how much had to go right, though, was far more threatening.

Still, Copper didn't focus on what could go wrong. He knew things were able to go right, so long as everyone played their part. That, plus the idea of a suicide mission interested him. He'd certainly be remembered and honored if he died here, which would be nice.

As the briefing concluded, several people were already bugging the Admiral with questions. Hell, even Maye bluntly said that this was reckless and dumb, and he couldn't agree more. He also couldn't agree more with how she felt. Maybe she wasn't so bad after all. Of course, some others had their own say in the situation, with Meryl being downright appalled by the suggestion of the idea. She had her own ground to stand on, sure, but Copper wasn't super fond of what she had to say, specifically with what she said at the very end.

"With respect, Meryl, not doing this also could mean we actually lose the war." Copper put his mug down for a moment. "The chances are risky, and the payout isn't guaranteed, but this isn't the worst idea the higher-ups could've had. We've gotta take this chance, it's just way too beneficial for the war effort to pass up, not to mention we've been fighting for too long to let an opportunity like this just be thrown to the wayside."

Copper looked towards Maye and the Admiral. "You two have me and Papa Bear, for sure. We'll keep your asses safe until we can get that warp gate set up."
The Wards


Day of Reckoning I

Mastar slunk down from the ceiling with a gleaning smile as she slowly morphed back into the smaller form of Kendall, mask now gone and hooded cloak pulled down. They were feeling pretty proud at the current situation, considering Protean was advertised as the strongest cape that the PRT had, if not the strongest. Shame he had to fall like this though... wait, was that the Director?!

"Oh carrotsticks!" Kendall rushed over to the side of Lillian and the Director and plopped themself down. They would've put their hands on Kens and tried to help him out, but unfortunately they were at a loss of arms right now. Tragic, but it was true. All they could do was watch as the Director was having a hard time staying alive... dammit, why did this have to happen! Why now?! Today was just not shaping up to be g-

”Wards, there’s been a new development you need to see!” Decoy called out over the communicators. A nearby projector animated Patriarch’s broadcast on the wall.

Son of a radish! There was more?! Kendall watched the broadcast intently as if it was the textbook They needed to study in order to pass an exam. Not that there was anything honorable and dutiful about the broadcast that was going on, especially since Patriarch had a parahuman that he was about to... they didn't even know what was going to happen to Judah / Mantis. No matter what it was, it certainly wouldn't be good, and that's without considering that Kendall was 90% certain he broke some of the Unwritten Rules in his clever plan to show his dominance over the city. God, Kendall just wanted to beat the living tar out of him... wait, something else was happening...

The sirens. No...

There was an Endbringer coming.

Kendall panicked. There couldn't be! There just... couldn't be! How was it so perfectly timed that on the day of a Community Attack en mass on Denver that one of the Endbringers just decided to rear its ugly face around here? Why'd it have to happen?! Why did this day just have to escalate from the trash it already was?! In their panic, the tarry facade of Mastar slowly crept back out into the world, Kendall's hood coming back over their head as their strained voice started to lower one octave, and their body began to grow.

Even if the tar was running black once again, Mastar's panic was set aside when she heard Lillian speak.

"No! No, this can't be..." she muttered in disbelief. "Decoy, what do we do?"

Tulpa was running off, Tiger Lily was asking Decoy what to do... everything was disorganized and out of order. Even if it wasn't her place to speak, she felt like she just had to. She felt like she knew what to do, and she couldn't help but just blurt it out.

"Fuck it," she started with her disgust of the situation clearly evident in her voice. "I'll tell you what we do, Lily. First, we're getting the Director as far away from here as possible, meaning somebody here's calling a goddamn ambulance and we're getting that on a one-way trip to the nearest PRT we can get it to. Hell, if we can get a teleporter here that'd be just as good, if not better. After we know the Director's gonna be safe, we're going in and we're giving this Endbringer a taste of what Denver has to offer." Mastar turned towards the remaining Wards with a confident smile across her mask. "Regardless of how fuckin' dangerous this is gonna be, it's our damn jobs to fight whatever threatens the lives of the masses. I'm hella scared, and I know I'm not gonna be able to do much, but I'm getting my ass in there and I'm gonna help as much as I can."

She let that hang for a moment before she turned to Messiah. "Messiah, I'm gonna need you in my room for a bit. I'd make a saucy joke, but it's not the time. I can't defrost my spare tar in time to help the evacuation of the city, and I'm gonna need you to help me with that. I'll see you up there." Mastar quickly turned heel around her and ran towards the staircase, reverting to her more liquid form as she scaled the flights quickly.

After a quick run to her room, Mastar dropped her facade for a few minutes as she ran to the phone she had kept in the room. Kendall quickly pressed in the number they needed to call, placing the phone up to their ear immediately after using a new arm, their leg shrinking into their body before it was gone.

It rang, and it rang, and it rang one more time, before Kendall's mom finally picked up.

"Did you hear the sirens, Kendall?"

"Yeah mom."

"... then... w-what're you going to do?" Their mom was already on the verge of tears, her voice just gave that away immediately.

"... we didn't discuss this, since it wasn't a likely thing the other week when I joined... but I'm staying. I made a commitment to Denver, and... while I'm afraid of this, I'm going to keep it."

"... n-no..."

"Mom... I'm sorry I'm not coming-"

Their mom interrupted Kendall mid sentence. "No... i-it's alright! I'm... I'm just... proud of my baby..."

Kendall's face went into a soft smile, tears forming in their eyes. "You're... proud of me?"

"Kendall, me and your father have always been proud!" Kendall's mom's voice finally gave in, her crying becoming audible through the phone. "We've seen your grades, your actions, hell, we know you've always had a heart of gold and you've always liked sharing that with others! We only grew prouder of you when you became Mastar! You were bringing direct change to Denver, and we... we... oh my god, I'm so sorry I'm crying baby..."

"... I'm... I'm almost there too mom." Kendall chuckled softly before they hushed.

"... we're just... we know you're gonna do great things, and if we... if we don't see you again..."

"Mom... don't say that. We're gonna see each other again." Kendall couldn't hold it back anymore, and the softened sobs broke through the line.

"K-Kendy... this is something that kills thousands p-per attack... w-we might not see you again..."

"I-I'm... I'm..." They couldn't even say anything.

"... we love you Kendall." The mom was full on bawling on her end of the phone. "If me and your father don't make it, don't forget that..."

"... I love you guys too... I always will..."

"Now go..." Her mom sniveled, trying to regain composure. "Go be a hero! Go do what you need to do!"

"I will! I'm gonna make you guys proud!"

Kendall hung up the phone before reducing themself into a puddle and just... sinking into the ground. They couldn't cry when they didn't have tear ducts.





The True Martyr I

Fran stood in front of a TV station, staring at the televisions behind the window. Patriarch's grand show was finally going on, and even Fran had to admit it was disgusting to watch. She knew probably the most about her Father, and watching this event go on in front of her eyes was something she'd never have thought she'd witness on the other side of the spectrum. It was... more wrong than she had ever imagined.

"... I-I... I don't know what to say..."

Typical. Men. Stealing free will from others because it's their so called right. Bullshit. Fucking bullshit. Fucking worse than Mantis ever could've been. Whip wasn't too fond of the broadcasting, either, though it was clear she had her own brand of disgust towards Patriarch. He wasn't a good person, even without regards to what he was, and she loathed everything that he had directed the Community to do. Even with that, she hated the very mention of his name more than any others could ever imagine.

Oddly enough, Gaia was silent. She was seething with anger at Patriarch for revealing Judah's real name to the world, but she stayed silent all the same. She had already lost her brother, and she wasn't ready to say goodbye to another of her friends, absolutely not.

Axel was watching, too, and was very audible as he stood on his hind legs and scratched away at the glass. He was scared and worried out of his mind, and not even Gaia could calm him down.

Just before Patriarch did Mantis in, he was interrupted by something loud and blaring.

Endbringer sirens.

"Oh no..."

What.

We've gotta get Mantis. Gaia finally chimed in, saying what she felt was necessary. It seemed like a flash of movement before Fran was replaced with a limping Gaia, still bleeding from the shards of glass that impaled her skin. She was still in a lot of pain, but she didn't care one bit. She didn't even know where to go, but she was determined to trail her blood across the entire city, to every TV station, to every box, and even to Behemoth itself, in order to save Judah and get them out of there. Axel was right beside her too, walking with her every step of the way.

Whip immediately protested. Leave him. He's worth nothing. Always has been and always will be. And, fuck, look what he did to you goddammit! Look what he did to us!

"I don't care, Jen." Gaia, for maybe the first time, referred to Whipstitch by her actual name. "He's all I have left, and I'll be DAMNED if I let either Patriarch or this Endbringer kill him."

Gaia, you're not going to even make it down the block, let alone to the station Patriarch is at. We can save more people than this, we can save my family. Let me take the reigns.

Gaia still stayed in control, still moving forward despite the pain she was in. "He's my family, Fran. He's my only family. I'm gonna save him, and you can either help me or just SHUT UP!"

Fran stopped. Did Gaia just call Judah family? T-that was absurd! How could someone as twisted as Judah ever be treated as Family to someone like Gaia? As she pondered the thought, more and more similarities came up between Gaia and her. Judah really was the only person Gaia had left.

The Community had pretty much killed everyone she knew except for Healer, who was only with the crew for a short amount of time at most. Whipstitch was physically killed in the last fight. Excaliblast was being targeted right now and, for all Fran knew, was probably dead. Sparce was killed in the last fight, too, except he wasn't able to come back like Whipstitch. Kozel was killed indirectly by the Community's actions. Like it or not, she was the only one left of her ragtag assemblage of vigilantes, and Judah was the only one that she had left that she cared about. Maybe... maybe this was one thing that should go right for her.

... ... I know where they are.

"So... you're willing to help me?" Gaia asked as she pulled out her burner phone, using her teeth to pull the antenna out before dialing a number that she never thought she'd use again.

We can save my family at the station, too, but even if we couldn't... we're gonna save your family, goddammit!

"Thank you, Fran..." As the phone started ringing, Whip couldn't help but speak up again.

Fine, whatever. If you two really want to help his dirty ass, even after everything he's done to us, then fine. Let's save the fucking prick bastard.

Gaia smiled. "Glad we're all on board. Just need to make one more call..."

The voice on the other end finally picked up. "Hello?"

"Hey, Genevieve. Mind if I ask your help for one last job?"
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