Avatar of GarlandChaos
  • Last Seen: 5 yrs ago
  • Joined: 12 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1325 (0.30 / day)
  • VMs: 24
  • Username history
    1. GarlandChaos 5 yrs ago
    2. ██████████ 7 yrs ago
    3. ██████████████ 7 yrs ago
    4. █████████████ 12 yrs ago
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Status

Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current Just wanna make a quick announcement for whoever cares: [@Crab Bane] and I are no longer in a relationship. It wasn't a bad break-up, at least not for me, but I hope him and I can stay on good terms.
3 likes
6 yrs ago
[@PsyBlade] Absolutely!
3 likes
6 yrs ago
[@Cleverbird] Literally my BF and I whenever we play Monster Hunter together.
3 likes
6 yrs ago
[@PsyBlade] Why do you want the Lapras to go away? It's one of my favorites. :C
3 likes
7 yrs ago
Today's my birthday! ❤
3 likes

Bio

This bio is outdated-ish and will be updated when I'm in the mood.



Things to know about Garland:
-Real name is Iris
-Canadian
-Genderfluid
-Pansexual
-Happily Taken
-Visionary
-Hates school
-Music nut(Rock, Metal, and "Weird Al" Yankovic are my favorites)
-Discord is Garland#5464 if you want to contact me there

Here's my personal Spotify playlist, if you're interested.



RP Info:
-Can play both male and female characters; has a preference for the latter
-Loves monster girls
-Likes the Romance, Slice of Life, Modern, Sci-Fi, Fantasy, and especially Mecha genres

Shoot me a PM if you're interested in doing a 1x1 RP together. I like writing shit.

Most Recent Posts

@The Nexerus

Jesus Christ. That's a text monolith if I've ever seen one.

In other news:

Bananas are one of two fruits (the other being apples) that I actually enjoy in their base form, albeit not without a spread or something to add flavor. Apples and caramel sauce, anyone?
In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz nearby, the Beastie Boys were really kickin it old school.

"Sing we must not!", said Yoga, twin brother of Yoda.

Yugi and the Beastie Boys decided to play hopscotch and all died of pulmonary embolisms. But then the unthinkable happened. Half-Life 3 was released, and
<Snipped quote by GarlandDaHero>

No problem mang, now we just need to work out this dysfunction junction... which might result in us possibly getting our characters high.


We're getting a bit off-topic at this point, but who was it that started the pot-smoking scene in that movie? Wasn't it John/the Criminal, or was it Allison/the Basketcase?
@JBRam2002

Yes, please. While I do agree that it is an adorable mental image, it'd make more sense if it was Suzune ruffling her own hair, since she's chuckling sheepishly and all.

...actually, in hindsight, please leave it as is. I love that mental image way too much for the source to just go away like that.
@JBRam2002

Suzune was ruffling her own hair, just in case that wasn't obvious.

Side-Note: I just noticed that Savo's second post after Suzune showed up mentioned The Breakfast Club. Thanks for reminding me that that movie exists, fam.
@Savo @Crimmy @JBRam2002

Verbal criticisms were nothing new to Suzune, especially not from the men she grew to despise. Apparently, most males in Uchima Senior High didn't exactly hold lesbians in high regard. That, or they just couldn't handle a bit of a tongue lashing from the 'fairer sex', as it were. Jerks and wimps, every last one of them.

That Hayate, though. 'Gigantic tits'? Ugh. What a blockhead. While it was true that Suzune was more...well-endowed than most, it didn't make her 'tits' 'gigantic', not at all. On the other hand, though, the dumbass probably never saw a real human being with anything bigger than a B cup before in his life. She had to let loose a small snicker at that thought as she continued to stare jagged daggers at the two men in the same general area as her and Kimiko.

Speaking of which, the one she didn't recognize turned out to be as dense as she thought he would be. Not only was he irritatingly snarky, he also seemed to be, of all things, a godsdamned narcissist. Just. Peachy. Leave it to the foreigner to be the most self-centered prick around, eh?

...of course, her precious Kimiko was always there to try and calm her down, gods bless her soul.~ ...well, 'try' being the key word. The miko tried to convince the other girl who had an unrequited crush on her that she was fine and that the brutes 'have not deigned to touch' her. Yet.

Apparently the foreigner's name was...'Frosty-san?' Oh, that was rich. She tried stifling a giggle but failed spectacularly when a loud burst of noise exploded from what was supposed to be a small snicker. Finally releasing her arms from their grip on the shrine maiden's shoulders, Suzune spoke up. "Of course, Maita-sama," the girl said, her tone much calmer now, "sorry for snapping like that again." She grinned sheepishly and ruffled her hair, chuckling lightly.

Suzune then redirected her attention back to Hayate and continued her death stare. "Yeah, I'll be tagging along," she said, her voice becoming gruff again. "And I won't be raising any hell if snow cone over there-" Suzune shot a quick side glance over at the unfamiliar young man. "-doesn't even so much as touch Kimiko. Capiche?"
@Lord Szall

Sure thing! Just shoot me (and possibly @Blight Bug) a PM and I'll see if we can't work something out.
In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz nearby, the Beastie Boys were really kickin it old school.

"Sing we must not!", said Yoga, twin brother of Yoda
@KOgaming

I'm...kinda interested? I kinda fell out for a long-ass time, but I do want to at least give @Blight Bug's character the Speed Demon card Tekkan pilfered.

Should I send you a PM, or can BB and I try figuring something out?
@Savo

Oh. Right.

Sorry about that. I'll go fix my post real quick.

EDIT: There we go.
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