Hawlin — Roleplayer Guild

The thought of situations arising planet-side eased Kaite's nerves on a level he wasn't comfortable with voicing. In truth, the idea of squeezing off a few rounds from the ship-side cannons gave him goosebumps; He had imagined it to have a different feel than simulations, although childishly assumed there'd be some sort of recoil in the way firearms work. Depending on how powerful the cannons were, the ship might tilt a bit, but nothing that the gyroscopic gravitational stabilizers wouldn't cancel out. Nobody would feel a thing.

All of this considered, with the technology at hand and a few custom simulations, Kaite was confident in his aim if firing upon the planet from long range was a question. He notices his hand lightly shaking under the table and chided himself in his head about being so rash as to already resolve himself to violence.
"Sir" The chimera chirped with a semi-casual salute at the apparent conclusion of the meeting, not wasting time in being one of the first to leave.

~~~~~~~

I was both surprised and relieved not to find 'Scott' outside. The idea of having hours of downtime wasn't quite what I had hoped for. I mean I understand how going multiple times the speed of light would still take weeks to traverse a fraction of the galaxy...I suppose that's why we're latched to The Howling Sun.
Captain Ryland's comment about praying to divines stuck with me, reminding me of the book Katherine had given me shortly after I had joined the crew. Its spine was still brand new, my contempt keeping me from even reading its title as it collected dust in the corner of my desk with the rest of the drek that she has given me...
"Zehr isn't any reason zeht you can szink uf as to why you hate her..."

This time it was my own voice, musing lazily as I loudly shook a cocktail mixer beside myself as I walked. Now, I knew it was just the dull reflection in the fogged metal walls...or maybe it was my own reflection as I shook the mixer, standing in my room looking into the mirror next to my desk where the pile of books sat. It wasn't uncommon for me to drift off when there wasn't anything in particular to pay attention to. Something about the mechanized construction of test-tube soldier's brains was supposed to be resistant to boredom...many are kept in tubes waiting in semi-consciousness until they're given orders.

"Do you szink I am spoiled?" I muse aloud as I hook the mixer up to the 0-G displacer, filling a foil bag with the drink which it printed a lablel around the top reading "piña colada" before stamping a nozzle on it so it wouldn't spill everywhere in the photosynthesis chamber...I was very curious what space looked like at speeds that would make light, itself, jealous.

~~~~~~~

Kaite threw most of his clothes off, opening the hatch that there was just enough room to duck through which lead to the clear bubble on the exterior of the ship. The silly symbol of a person sideways with an arrow scooping up and to the side from underneath them to signify zero-G illuminating. The scene cuts with a small glimpse of the mirror with a small crack in the corner which displays a room in the stages of decline. The mattress has a few stab-holes in it which foam stuffing peeked out of, the desk is covered in tiny tufts of fluff from stuffed animals that had their fur pulled out with pliers, leaving them as ghastly ragdoll remnants. The only one still intact was the bunny in a freshly pressed suit, cleaner than ever with an unscarred face besides an eyepatch.

The door closes.

~~~~~~

Drifting...

How fast are we moving, anyway?
Hmh~
How fast is the universe expanding away from us?

I take a small sip from the pack I had filled with the rich pina colada, drifting in my photosynthesis chamber. I had a lot of time to think during the Hour-long endeavor. Still, I barely ate because of it. Katherine from navigations said meditation was a good way to pass the time, but...

I take a sip, feeling my brows drift into my usual demeanor which I've been told looks 'forlorn'. 
My head swims with the shadows of demons. Through inaction, I have harmed so many...living creatures. None of them were people...nobody is people.
It was difficult to exactly define my discomfort with being truly alone. In my room I at least had my sociology project and the stupid puppets I acted it out with...kinda...
My mind drifts to the defaced face of Rodger Hoppington and what I could have been thinking about when I was performing whatever perversion of the original project that I was...

To  make myself a better person?
I didn't expect others to understand why I do the things I do, when I don't even fully understand it. I am ten different people from one day to the next, and I have no idea who I am, only how others must see me.
...
I made this drink too strong.
Pff...being underage. That was a thought. With wherever I was from and everything I was supposed to be having been reduced to junk, there was no telling where I was going. I may stay looking like this, forever; looked down upon both figuratively and literally. Maybe I'll be as big as Rayland next year and then Riblou in the year that follows. I would still be 4, then.
Twice my age... And how much of it will be spent in a cryopod? Awake and half-dead from cryosickness? A puppet? Did I have any hobbies? I certainly didn't have any friends...gawd, here it comes, again.

I have myself a screaming fit for the next few minutes, concluding with crying uncontrollably into the barely touched bag of drink.

Uhng...hhuhff......hrmmrhmm~
I cough my tears onto the glass where the light of a million stars soared past. The worst part about being alone is having to deal with myself. I don't get along well with him; he's mean, rude, selfish and maybe a lightweight. These feelings are certainly not something that normal people feel unless they're inebriated...they can't be.
Gawd, what's happening to me? What am I even doing, here?
I was the project. This mess that was going on in the room behind me was just an unexpected miscalculation when giving a clone the capacity for thought.

I let out a long sigh as I lightly kick against the dome window looking out at a nearby star system, sending me rotating gently clockwise while taking another small sip and shaking the bag, the mix having started to separate in zero-G.
I hear there are colossal beasts called 'trees' that live off of the light of stars like I do...I doubt they have problems like I do. From what I've read, they don't think at all. All the same, I hoped I could meet one, one day. Maybe I could convince one of them to be my friend. All the same, they don't move or speak...and I am bound to this flying iron coffin with a name.

The Infamous Alto.

I could think about it for days, and none of it would make any sense. Whatever Captain Rayland saw in me, I...I wish he hadn't. Sometimes I think everything would be easier if he just kept on flying; That it would be better in some way if I was never given a chance.

...If I was dead.

...

I don't have that kind of luxury. I am a knight of the Infamous Alto and have sworn to serve until my last breath. I was given a gift that I cannot repay which binds me to a uniform and a bed to sleep in.
Its better this way. As much as I hate it, I belong here...
Its better this way...
Its better this way...


~~~~~~

Kaite stepped out of the chamber, tossing the empty bag in a nearby trashcan before getting dressed in his freshly cleaned and pressed uniform. Looking at himself in the mirror as he buttoned up the jacket, he leaned close to note the mild shadows under his eyes. With a sigh, he slipped his eyepatch on over the mint glow of his other eye. His other hand traced the nonexistent numbers on the face of the doll. "Woi! Ello old bean, quoit the tussle we had during yo'r leave" Kaite voiced for the doll, standing it up and giving it mannerisms in time to the poor British accented voice before reaching for the mangled remains of a giraffe in a similar suit.

He stopped, dropping the dolls and snapping to attention as the eyepatch finished syncing, the countdown until they came out of the jump down to the last few seconds. Bracing, he closed his eyes and held onto the desk, expecting the worst only to feel nothing as the timer beeped twice.

Kaite opened his eyes...
___________________________________

The door to Kaite's room slid open and he stumbled out, falling against the wall on the other side of the hall as the door shut. He looked both ways down the hall before shakily standing, slowly looking down at his trembling hands before gripping them into fists. "What the fuck..." he hissed, biting back a frustrated sob before recomposing himself, checking his uniform to make sure he was presentable before walking off down the hall towards the bridge. In his rush to escape whatever he'd seen in his room, he had forgotten his weapons, although his biggest concern was distancing himself from the unassuming door with the nameplate "Jericho Kaite".

"What is going on?"

He rolled his eyes, numb to her first comment as he walked, passing by a window and stopping. No, this one was real. He confirmed this by taking a few cautious steps back, looking back at the...for lack of better formalities, deterraformed world. Kaite's fingers twitched as he scanned through the reports and immediately took off down the hall, easily finding the captain and Sel on the scanners to join up with them.

"Sir, I..." the chimera began, unsure what to say. It was going to turn into an apology for nothing, then his thought process turned to reading off diagnostics, which he was certain the captain already knew. Unfortunately, all he had was questions; "Are vee prepared for zeis?" he asked, his demeanor surprisingly collected in spite of what had transpired.

He looked up as the door opened, the whir of treads on steel heralding the entrance of Achieng who made her way to the table. "Looks like you made a friend" Scott chuckled from behind Kaite's seat, mopping up seemingly nothing. It was starting to concern the chimera by the frequency and aggressiveness of his imaginary friend. Leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table and lace his fingers, he tried to reason it out.

It's obviously subconscious, I'm the only one who can see it. Why a janitor?
"Woah, all this thinking about me. I'm flattered...although you should probably keep it together. People are watching"
True, responding to something that wasn't there would be a good way to cost me nearly all of my credibility. I sigh, taking my glasses off to rub my eyes before replying to the watumaji. "I am fine...simply tired" my words grumble from my lips; it was true, I felt worse than when I had woken up from cryosleep. It was a familiar feeling which I suppose keyed me into how I fainted.
Damn this adrenaline bullshit...

He sat up straight as things started getting underway, cracking his neck and slipping the glasses back on. The corners of the lenses blinked with a dull amber light of the onboard comlink rebooting, accenting the glint of his bioluminescent eyes.
The scenarios Ryland suggested were fair, although after his confident list of what they were prepared for, a question came to mind...probably not one that he should voice, however. At least not in front of the new people.

Kaite wasn't too concerned about space combat and was actually itching to get a chance to fire actual ship-mounted weaponry. As far as the other departments went, Ryland's words in regards to the crew's specialties as well as Sel's input put his mind to ease; there were far more experienced people that'd been hired specifically to encourage the smirk that teased at the corner of the boy's expression.
The federation really wasn't messing around, whatever was on the other side of the jump had better be loaded for bear because nobody intended on pulling a single punch.
However, his fingers twitched as he made a note to doublecheck his hazmat gear since the idea of dying from disease was...unsettling.

...

But what if it was something they weren't ready for? It's a large universe and who knew how many alien species were left undiscovered or what technology they had. What if the colony was just gone? It had been long enough, over a month...planet and all.

"Tch...pessimists" Scott spat, apparently displeased with Kaite's thoughts as he went about wheeling his custodian setup out of the room. 

Kaite remained silent, simply turning his eyes downward before snapping back to attention, curious what the captain's response to Sel would be.

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The Jaded

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