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Moderately Useful Hokum Knowledge

A little about myself
I'm the type of person that thinks they're funnier than other people think they are. Laugh at my own jokes and wonders why no one else is laughing. Though I do enjoy chatting with people online, I'm not big on RL socializing and spend most of my time being a hermit. I also like cookies.

A little about my Role Playing
Most things I enjoy, but unlike what seems to be with most of the RP world atm, I'm not really a fan of Fandom or Anime RPing. When it comes to characters, I always create my own OC's, as that is a lot of the fun for me right there. Other than genre taste, I have been known to GM role plays of various sizes, though I will join as a player in other groups as well. As mentioned in my preference hider below, I also play 1X1's as long as I feel like a potential partner and I hit it off well.

Here are some more of my role play preferences.

So hey, feel obligated to PM me! Ask about my day, tell me off, throw me an undeserved compliment, or maybe by some wild chance you'd even like to RP with me! I'm not really fussed which of these you choose.

I hope you have learnt a great deal from reading this Bio. Oof.

Most Recent Posts


Ah yes, the sense of indirection. Well, you obviously feel the setting enough to work with. The direction of your character, of course, is up to you. But there will be an underlying GM plot at work along the way. Looking forward to meeting your character!

Ah yes, Smokes is good boi.

By all means feel free to drop him in the CS tab.

Oof! Apologies for the late reply. Yes, you and your washouts are welcome to join! :)
heh, thanks for that.

Looks great. But yeah, feel free to slip her into the CS tab. All good!

Present Day

It’s not so unheard of for people to go missing in Blacktown. The suburb is host to a variety of sordid misfits from junkies, drug dealers and prostitutes, to street gangs and vagrants - but let’s not forget those struggling working-class folk. One could say that a variety of crime is to be expected around these parts. A person or two going missing is hardly something most folks would even bat an eyelid to, but the recent tally of disappearances, young ladies in particular, is starting to provoke a little concern.

Kind of hard to know when it started. Six months? A year? Chief of police for the City of Davis, Lukas Rise, released a statement to the press three days ago, stating that the rapid rise in young women going missing in Blacktown and surrounding suburbs, is believed to be the work of a single individual, although no solid leads have yet been established. What the press doesn’t know, however, is that the perpetrator is now believed to be residing in the suburb of Blacktown itself.

‘You’re hurting me.’

‘Just hold still.’

‘I can’t. You’re really hurting me – there’s something wrong.’

‘Hold still. There’s nothing wrong. Just relax and let it happen.’

‘Please, it really hurts, can you stop?’

I can’t stop now. I’m almost done!’

‘No. Stop, please. Please just sto–’

‘I told you to fucking. Hold. STILL! …Now look what you’ve done, you stupid whore.’


Reservoir Lane was near the heart of Blacktown, comprised of several rundown houses and apartment blocks. No less than typical for the region. But there was a house on the street, number 7, that stood out among the rest of the residential properties. It was renowned as the well-kept house for miles and therefore hard not to notice. This house was owned by a single man that most in the neighbourhood were aware of, but no one actually knew. By what was mostly snide remarks and snickering mockery, this man was referred to by most as Mr Perfect. Nobody knew his real name, how long he had lived there, or even what he did for work.

The yard of his property was immaculate, the trimmed lawn was soft, even fluffy looking, with no variance in the lush shade of green. Two oak trees stood in the yard, the trunk of each one girded perfectly, as if a ruler had been used to ensure the trunk was perfectly centred in their allocated patch of dirt. The bleach white concrete path was stainless and lead up to the front porch of the house between the Oak trees directly from the footpath off the street.

The house itself was a single story. Again, in immaculate condition with what appeared to be a fresh coat of beige paint. The tiles of the roof were a rich clay colour. The frames of the windows and doors were a deeper shade of brown. The windows were tinted very dark, allowing no one to see inside.

This morning, inside the house, was Darrel. A lean yet strong man of very upright posture, standing a little over six feet tall with square shoulders, a straight neck, and a chin held that little too high.

In public, or even so much as exiting the front door of his quaint little house to do a little gardening, Darrel wore a suit and tie. Nothing expensive, of course, any high roller would know at a glance he certainly didn’t shop at Dolce & Gabbana. But that didn’t matter to Darrel. He wore the suit like a man of unequalled integrity – and that is all he would ever wear; a black suite, black polished boots, white shirt and black tie. Seven of the same attire hung in the second-hand redwood wardrobe of his bedroom. One for each day of the week. One extra for good measure. On his wrist, Darrel wore an imitation silver Rolex analogue watch, a plain silver ring on the middle finger of his left hand. Combined, they were the sum of accessories he would ever be willing to wear.

Inside was another matter. He rarely wore clothing at home, not so much as underwear. With the exception of when he was entertaining the occasional guest, during which times he would dress in a plain grey T-shirt, grey cotton tracksuit pants cut off at the knees, and plain grey socks. Nothing more. This outfit too was also duplicated seven-fold, immaculately folded in his dresser drawers. One for each day of the week, and one extra for good measure.

This morning, alike many a morning of late, Darrel was cleaning. Naked, with dustpan and brush in hand, he finished sweeping away the last remaining traces of dust from his bleach-white bedsheets. After which, he removed said sheets, dropped them in the washing machine along with detergent – the amount of which he had perfected – and set the wash to Full Cycle. He would likely need to repeat the wash several times for good measure throughout the day and possibly into tomorrow. But that was okay, he did have seven more sets of the same bedsheets immaculately folded in the hallway closet.

Once the sheets were in the wash he shit, shaved and showered. Then the first cycle was done. Setting the wash to another full cycle he cooked one perfectly poached egg, one perfectly browned toast, and one glass of orange juice. No salt and no pepper. No butter. No added sugar. After breakfast, he started the second washing cycle, dressed in his suit and attended the bathroom where he carefully and meticulously combed his short black hair, then commenced removing even so much as a shadow of lint from his suit coat with a lint roller.

After several minutes of antagonising over his appearance, he came to accept everything was perfect. His tie, perfectly straight. His suit, void of marks. His clean shaven face and strong jawline, clear of blemish. His intense translucent blue eyes, as always without flaw. Black boots could have been used as a mirror. His hair… remarkable.

‘You are the perfect man,’ He told himself, ‘She is out there, somewhere.’

Once another cycle of bedsheets was complete and the fourth cycle started, he was ready to exit the house and start his day - but first, there was one other thing to do:

He arrived in the lounge room, furnished only with a stereo system. The low budget stereo was centred in the otherwise empty room. He touched the play button as if touching a priceless gemstone. The music began to play. And there he stood swaying to the music, eyes closed, a faint smile riding his face.

Ah, yes, hello newcomer. Welcome to the Guild! As for this RP, consider yourself had XD

Indeed it does, consider me pleased to have you aboard!

Good to hear! And I'm sure you're right.

On the matter of your characters, I'm anxious to find out what you have planned - but keep in mind you can use both characters if you want. No problem at all.

Alright, I'm assuming Capn is still good to go too, so I'm going to get writing on an OP. Probably be up in a day or two!
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