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Theatre kid, drag queen, roleplayer and writer

Any pronouns

I love theatre, drag, and tabletop roleplaying games

My favorite play is Godzilla + Kong by Max Tachis. Currently playing an actor in Brothers Grimm Spectaculathon. Past credits include Spot in Shakespeare in Love, Katie in Godzilla + Kong, and Ninja 2 in TED. Katie was my all-time favorite role<3.

My favorite characters (from anything) are Death, Susan and Tiffany from Discworld, Sydney from Camp Here and There, Katie, Lana, and Cheryl from Godzilla + Kong, Frenchy from Grease, and Ursula from The Little Mermaid

On this site I am currently playing:

-Juniper in The Dead Don't Die

Most Recent Posts



Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





Brendan typed in the code staring at the screen, anxious both about what would happen if it went through and if it didn't.

The screen unlocked. Opening to the home screen of the phone. The background changed, this time instead of a meadow, it was a selfie of Renee with a man about her age. They were smiling.

Millicent eyed the screen for a moment, her eyes resting on the man with Renee. It was clear the two were close. A boyfriend? Fiance? Husband? Brother? Either way, it was a person whose life was going to be altered by what happened here.

"Nice work. I suggest checking texts first. See if she was talking to someone about coming here. Perhaps we’ll recognize a name.”

Brendan stared at the screen in shock for a moment, amazed it had worked. They looked up at Millicent and nodded. They opened her texts, hit with a slight wave of anxiety. Not that Renee would have anything all that bad, right?

There were several chat logs, many labeled with names or relationships. The most recent text log was just a number. It started with a +33.

Millicent scanned the names, but the first one was the most recent. "Check the most recent. It stands to reason she spoke to them either before she got here or when she was on her way, possibly even when she was here if she got any signal.”

Brendan nodded. Above all they were glad they weren't alone right now, looking through the phone felt wrong, but they had to know. They clicked on the unnamed text thread, also checking when the texts were sent.

The most recent text was sent mere hours ago. It was sent to Renee, a single word. Richard. There were a couple of older texts in the chat. Dating back prior to arriving on the island. The first text was from the unknown number. “I know what you’re looking for.” Renee had responded, “What?” Then there was nothing until that last text in the early hours of the morning.

Millicent read it and read it again. Richard. "Could be Renee looking for her father. We know her father is here and that could be why she came here, or at least one of the reasons. And the name Richard. Perhaps Richard is her father? Or someone who knows who it is.”

“Then that would mean Richard is here? Is anyone named Richard? Or, like, Richie or Rick or Dick or whatevers short for that? I don't think I met anyone named that…unless he's using a fake name? But would someone do that? Just use a fake name and go to an island?” Brendan looked back at the texts. “It's just those three from this person…if Richard is her dad, though…then either two separate people were trying to get in Renee's head about her dad, or… we have the blackmailers cellphone number?” Brendan had no idea which was more likely. Who else would Richard be though? Was there anyone else Renee would have been looking for?

Millicent thought back. Was there a Richard here? No one she had talked to was a Richard or anything close. It could be someone was hiding their name, but that seemed tedious at best. She closed her eyes and ran through the previous evening.

Conversations during dinner and drinks. Did anyone mention someone who was not present? She recalled who she spoke to, who she was near, whenever there was a chance to hear a conversation.

And then she remembered. It was a brief conversation, one that she paid little mind to in the moment, but now she was able to piece it together. George, during drinks, mentioned a Richard who was interested in selling the vineyard and moving to the UK.

Richard. Richard La Lune.

She gripped Brenden’s arm as she remembered. ”There is a Richard here. We haven’t spoken to him, but he’s here. He’s the patriarch. Holy shit. If we are right, Richard might be Renee’s father! And that gives motive to her murder to anyone in the La Lune family. Think of the scandal! An illegitimate child to a prominent figure. Not only that, but what about wills? Who gets the money, who gets the vineyard? And does Richard know? Christ, if this does turn into something, we just found a secret worth killing for.”

“Renee was related to the La Lunes??” Said Brendan, “Shit, do you really think they'd invite her here to kill her? But then what's with all the blackmail, why are other people getting notes? And why'd they invite so many other people to the island when they did it?” Brendan thought for a second. “Unless they didn't know until they got blackmailed too, and that's why they killed her…if even the La Lunes are being blackmailed…is Felix being blackmailed? And the other workers? We have to find out who's number this is…it must be someone still here, right? No one left except that one guy…”

Millicent thought a moment. ”It could very well be that who Renee’s father is in connection to the La Lune family and who is blackmailing the rest of us are two separate events. Perhaps one of the La Lune family members found out and invited her and invited the rest of us to cover up their intent to harm her. Or Renee was invited by someone who wanted this information out and that’s who she was talking to. Or it could be one of the other guests here who figured it out. Perhaps Renee confronted someone and that’s how she wound up dead. Either way, you are right. Figuring out who has that number should be the next thing. We should also let Sam and Ralph know about this too. But regardless, I think we uncovered a major clue.”

Brendan nodded. They hoped they could trust Sam and Ralph. “Yeah. Maybe one of them found something too. I wonder how we find out who has that number, without like, calling it from a dead lady's phone.” Said Brendan.

”Well, maybe someone good with technology can reverse engineer it somehow. Otherwise, yeah I don’t know what other option we have.” Satisfied with what they had for now, she stood up. ”Maybe we should keep the phone somewhere safe so we don’t have it with us. It would look bad it we were caught with it.”

Brendan nodded. “I am good at hiding phones, but I have been less successful at finding them later. Where's somewhere no one will look? We won't lose it if we both know where it is, right?”

”I’d suggest one of our rooms, but somewhere less obvious. After all, someone got in to leave us those messages. And somewhere the staff won’t think to check or somewhere they will use. The maids clean everything, after all.”

“Where don't maids and snoopers look? We at least have experience with the latter…Where didn't we look in Renee's room? Do you have any magician-y secret compartments you brought?” Said Brendan

”No, I didn’t come here expecting to have to perform. But in my experience, the most obvious place is often the one that gets overlooked. If Sam is on board, perhaps we can hide it in our shared bathroom. Either way, perhaps we hold on to it for now.”

Brendan nodded, “We’ll find somewhere. No one who sees it is gonna know it’s her phone anyway. Should we go find Ralph and Sam?”

Millicent nodded. Those two were the only ones she trusted fully so far outside of Brendan. Miguel was still missing. Was he connected to this? Millicent was certain the La Lune family, including staff, was somewhat responsible. Either they got them here with the intention of spilling their secrets or Renee got in the way and had to be taken out.

Brendan walked out into the foyer, waiting for Millicent to follow, so they could look for Sam and Ralph, hoping they could trust them.


Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





Brendan waited to see if the people they were waiting for would come. Should they go look for them? Should they skip right to searching Renee's room? Brendan wondered how much trouble they would get in if caught. They also wondered if there was anywhere else they could snoop through. They might as well, since they were already at it.

“Are you ready?” Brendan asked. They didn't care what they were doing, just as long as it was something.

Millicent nodded. If they were to have any hope of figuring this out the best bet was Renee’s room. Snooping through the other’s room could help but it seemed a lot of them were now turning out to be allies. "Yes, let’s go quickly. If we get caught, we could come up with something.” What that would be she did not know yet.

Brendan nodded as they started to try and figure out where Renee's room was. “Right. If we get caught, which we won't, because I'm like a panther, but if we do, we'll just improv it. I've played that yes and game. I'm great at it.”

Millicent chuckled a bit, but she had to give it to him. If anyone could pull off acting, it would be Brendan. Or Ivanna. ”Perfect. Let’s head over there.” Millicent started to make her way to the rooms, hoping the family and staff would be distracted.

Renee’s room was mostly clean. Her bed was made, as if she had never slept in it. Her luggage was the only major sign that she had been in the room. It was open on the floor with some clothing tumbled out over the edge. A makeup bag was set next to it. The desk in the room had the standard stack of papers that everyone had been greeted with. Renee’s had been disturbed as if she had looked through them.

Brendan glanced back at Millicent, as he glanced around, stepping quietly as possible towards the desk. “Where should we look?” he whispered slowly and quietly, “The desk? I got that weird blackmail note there…Did you? Where was it?”

Millicent took in the room. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, but it was hard to know if Renee was the type of person who presented as organized and was secretly messy. ”I got mine on my nightstand, but it could be anything or anywhere. Check the trash. I’ll search her luggage and make-up bag.”

Brendan nodded as they moved to check the trash and the desk.

Among her clothing in the luggage, Millicent finds her phone. It is off. Possibly dead, or maybe after realizing the lack of signal Renee had shut it off. In the trash, Brendan finds a torn up piece of paper. It has a few colors and lines and just a couple lines of text. There is something handwritten on the paper, but without putting the pieces of the paper together it would be impossible to tell.

Brendan collected all the pieces of the paper, really searching through careful not to miss any, as they went over towards Millicent showing her. “Here's something she tore up,” he whispered, “We should try to put it back together once we're out of here.” He said.

”I have her phone. It’s either dead or off but we can see if we can find anything. Maybe put her sim card in one of our phones. There’s no signal but maybe she has some old texts or other information on there that could be useful.” Millicent stood up and made her way over to the bed, checking underneath it. Perhaps something fell or Renee put something there to hide it.

Brendan watched as Millicent searched. “Anything? Should we get out of here?”

Millicent returned, shaking her head. "Nothing. I think the phone and that paper are our best leads. Let’s get somewhere more private. We can go to my room maybe.”

Brendan nodded, ready to follow Millicent and get out of there.

Millicent led Brendan to her room, letting him in. She sat on the bed and put Renee’s phone on her nightstand. ”Let’s do the note first. It was torn up so I imagine it says something important.” She spread her blanket out to allow them a space to solve the puzzle.

Brendan gently dumped out all the paper scraps that they’d found, flipping them all to be face up as they tried to figure out how to re-assemble it. “I guess it’s just like any puzzle…start with the edge pieces?" They said as they sat gently on the bed across from Millicent.

Millicent, with the aid of Brendan, put the pieces together slowly. Edges first and then to the middle. As she worked she noticed the words forming. Test. Father. Eventually the letter was complete.

On it was a DNA test with results. There was also something added. “YOUR FATHER IS HERE”. And it was a 99.99% match.

“If this is to be believed, Renee’s father is here. That could be her secret. I don’t quite see how this connects to her death, but maybe someone here didn’t want that getting out? If Eleanor is still the prime suspect, maybe one of her children is Renee’s father and she doesn’t want it getting out and have it sully the La Lune name? Rich people have done crazier things.”

Brendan stared at the paper, “Her dad is here, on the island? Unless he was that one dude that took their one freakin’ boat…does her dad know she’s her daughter? Why’d they need a test?” Brendan shook their head, trying to concentrate. “Okay. How old was she? Who’s even old enough to be her dad? And where’s the other parent? I guess it’s not out of the realm that a crazy rich grandma would murder her normal un-rich granddaughter…I’m not caught up on the ways of crazy rich murder ettiquite…either that, or whoever found out really didn’t like the dad?” Brendan tried to think. “Or could her dad have been Felix? Someone working here? Or competing…” Brendan trailed off, overwhelmed with possibilities.

Millicent went over all of the possibilities and it was a lot. ”We can speculate all day and get nowhere. We need more evidence but this is a huge step. We should also let Sam and Ralph know what we found. And maybe the others since it seems we keep adding more people to this motley crew. Let’s see if the phone works.”

Millicent turned it on. Thankfully it was not dead, but the battery was low. And it was, of course locked. A picture of a meadow was her lockscreen. Millicent tried four random numbers but it didn’t go through. She did notice, though, that it took a fingerprint. ”So her phone works, but I won’t be able to get in unless we figure out her code and that could take a long time and we may get locked out permanently. Good news, it takes her fingerprint also. Bad news, that means we would need to go to her body.”

“Maybe it’s her birthday? It was on her test, right? We can at least try it. If that doesn’t work maybe…1234? That’s a fan favorite?” Brendan sighed, Millicent was right. Trying to guess would be hard and could get them locked out of the phone for who knows how long, though Brendan still wondered if there was any way to guess it. “I suppose we could try and see if anyone knows hacking stuff, but we should be careful who we trust …assuming the killer is human and still on the island, they might… Brendan shuddered. They looked back at the phone. “It said her birthday was 19/8…so…1…9…0…8?” They typed into the phone, hoping this would work.


Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





Brendan waited with Millicent to see if any of the people they wanted to talk to would show up. They wanted to just skip right to searching Renee's room. The prospect of being caught was scary, but the anxiety now of waiting for those moments almost seemed worse. They found themself wanting to call Superfetch, but who knew if the call would go through? Brendan still could not remember where their phone was anyway. Half their brain was racing to make sense of things, and half of it was just trying to turn off completely. Maybe Millicent could think enough for both them of them and they could just go in autopilot and follow Millicent's lead. It was a tempting idea, but probably not good to cease thinking for oneself right now, assuming there was a non-mermaid killer still among them.

Brendan's mind kept returning to the notes. Did everyone have them? Did staff? They should have asked Felix. What were other people's notes about? Were they all the same thing as Brendan's? Was that the real reason they'd been chosen? What was Millicent's? What was Renee's?

Or did Renee not have one? Was she the note-leaver? Was that why? Brendan was so close to asking Millicent about her note. The only hesitation Brendan had was knowing that if they asked Millicent what hers was, she'd probably ask Brendan what theirs was.


Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





Brendan was deep in thought as he absentmindedly followed Millicent away from where they'd been talking to Felix. All this new information that Brendan couldn't quite make sense of yet swirled in their mind. Others were being blackmailed? Renee's death wasn't an accident? These rich folks only had one boat? And someone else had taken it to go? They were stuck here? They were all stuck here. Unless the killing was done by the guy on the boat or someone with another way to traverse the ocean, whoever killed Renee would be stuck with them too. Was there another way for whoever killed her to have gotten off the island? Could a mermaid have done it and then escaped into the sea? Brendan hoped that was the case, the murderer was a stranger who'd immediatly left and they'd all be fine. Well, not all of them. Not Renee. Brendan's chest felt heavy again. She'd been so kind! Who would do this? Brendan wanted to know at least as much as they wanted to get away from this stupid la loo chattuo place. They looked up and stopped as Millicent did too. What were they to do next? They could try to talk to other staff, like Elenore, but would they be helpful? Maybe it would be easier to just...

Finally Millicent spoke, seemingly reading Brendan's mind as she suggested they search Renee's room. As much as Brendan wanted to do that, he was a little scared of that, honestly, but at least he didn't have to be alone. Anything in the world was better then being alone. Right?

Brendan nodded in agreement, ready to follow Millicent as she suggested they also talk to Sam and Ralph. He'd felt ready to do just about anything that was suggested to him at this point, as long as it wasn't alone.


Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





Brendan stood blankly in his room. There wasn’t much to do in here. There wasn’t much to do out there, either. He had no idea what to do with himself right now. He had that feeling you get in your arms when you talk to your crush, where every position feels awkward, except now it was in his whole body. Standing, walking, even sitting on the toilet all felt unnatural. He had an urge to curl up on his bed and weep while holding his stuffie. There were probably better uses of his time, though. He decided that curl up and cry would be Plan B, only to be enacted if he absolutely couldn’t find anything else to do. He got out of his pajamas, changing into converse, skinny jeans, and an old bright yellow cast t-shirt from when his college’s theatre department had done Heathers.

He stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. His old plan to be in drag the whole time and hype everyone up with silly drag all day every day stuff felt so meaningless now. He stared at his wig. He pulled the crumpled-up note from it and stared at it. He thought about it more. Was it a coincidence? Was blackmail connected to death? Did other people get weird notes? Probably not. Who else here would have anything to hide?

Did Renee have things to hide?

Brendan felt slightly lightheaded again. This time it wasn’t anything to do with Renee. There was a pain in his stomach. He was really hungry. He really didn’t feel like eating, but he knew he needed to. He headed out the door towards the lounge, not realizing until he was close enough to the area that he could hear who was inside that the note was still in his hand. He panicked, and stuffed it in his pocket.

He walked in. He was lonely. He was confused. He was disconnected. He was going to have, like, at least three cups of hot chocolate.


Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





Felix was maybe the one person they wanted to talk to right now. Brendan waited as things continued on in a strange blur. They kept to themselves, all attempts to talk to others that they kept sort of starting to make just felt wrong and wierd. They paced awkwardly from one spot to the next. as Felix told them to avoid the area and that food would be brought to them.

Felix was maybe the one person they wanted to talk to right now. He was probably busy. They were all being kept away from the area, which made sense. In tv shows that was always what happened with dead bodies. Someone had to come outline it probably--wait, was this a crime scene? Was this a crime?

Felix was maybe the one person they wanted to talk to right now. Where was he? Brendan wanted to go find him, but if he was by the body, then Brendan going over there would be trespassing on a maybe crime scene. Maybe it was that you had to act like it was a crime scene until you knew it wasn't? That sounded right. Were they going to autopsy Renee? What determined if someone got an aut--Brendan felt dizzy again thinking about that stuff. Some part of them had the urge to go look for Renee. Not Renee's body, but the actual, living Renee, as if she was just hiding somewhere. Wait, wasn't that one guy a ghost finder or something? He probably had one of those squeegee boards. Was all that stuff even real? Could they talk to Renee's ghost? Could they just ask Renee what happened? Luigi boards were safe as as long as you didn't take your hands off the pratchett, right?

Felix was maybe the one person they could wanted to talk to right now. He wasn't here right now. Brendan went into their room.



Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





As Brendan shouted for Felix, they were vaguely aware of Felix shouting something back to them just as they reached the stairs.

They didn’t stop, didn’t process what it was that Felix was saying until they were already a good way down. That was when their eyes fell to the bottom of the stairs. They saw what was at the bottom of the stairs. They gripped the handrail, heart racing.

Felix was down there, but Renee was down there too, and she was very still. Brendan called out to her but she did not respond.

Brendan’s first thought was that she almost looked fake when she was so still like that. Like a Halloween decoration. It was a bizarre and awful first thought to have, but it was like reality had put some sort of filter over it all that was keeping Brendan from feeling like anything was actually real. Nothing seemed to matter or have consequences.

They struggled back up the stairs turning to face the others. Wondering if the others even would recognize them as being the same person as Ivanna?

Their attention was turned back to present the situation. One of the others, a doctor, was being brought over.

Well. Fuck. That was when the filter was removed and Brendan really realized. It was real. That Renee was dead or dying or something very wrong. Brendan reacted so much more suddenly and intensely than they would have ever imagined. The fact that they'd written stories where people were dead did nothing to prepare them for what it was like to see someone in real life who was dead(?), and really why would it have prepared them for actual death(??) They felt sick. Their stomach twisted and they felt sweaty and weak. She’s not dead, she’s not dead. Right? They were getting a doctor, so she wasn’t…but good goddess, was she still. Felix had been holding a sheet. Wasn’t that a thing? You cover dead(?!?) bodies with a sheet?

Oh god. Brendan put a hand on the wall. They felt weak again.

Renee was either dead, or in a state where Felix was expecting that she was about to be. What had happened? Was she sick? Heart attack? Had someone hurt her? She was at the bottom of the stairs, maybe she fell down them. You can die from that, right? Thunking down the stairs like that? A character had died that way in one of Brendan’s fanfictions, but then again, that was just a story they'd written. This was not just some fictional thing being done for some writer’s entertainment, it was real. Brendan turned and looked back towards the stairs. They were just far away enough now that they couldn’t actually see her body, but even just turning in the direction caused that weak feeling to come back to them.

The wall was not currently doing enough to keep them standing. They leaned harder against the wall, desperately trying and spectacularly failing to grip a flat vertical surface. Oh god. That doctor was gonna come back and say that Renee was dead.

And then what? She was reincarnated? She was someone new, like that story that Superfetch had read to Brendan once when they were drunk at 2 AM, the one they couldn’t get through because they couldn’t stop laughing at Brendan's comment about how the story’s title, ‘The Egg’ would be perfect if Brendan ever wrote an autobiography? Or maybe Renee was in heaven? Looking down on them all now while endless steaks with HP sauce and doing whatever she wanted for eternity? If heaven and hell were real, then certainly Renee was in the good place, right? In the Discworld book series, Death took different people to different places depending on what they’d believed in life. Or maybe all those theories were wrong. Maybe when someone was gone, they were gone.

Brendan thought about Renee herself, about what was both the pair’s first and last interaction. Brendan thought of Renee’s body down on the ground. There was a similar quiet to when they’d seen her sitting at the bar last night. Brendan thought of how they’d tried, and probably failed, to comfort her. They almost wanted to go do that again. To go sit by her body and tell whatever scrap of life and soul might be left that everything was going to be okay. To know, or at least imagine, until they were presented with proof otherwise, that Renee would hear them, and feel some comfort, wherever she was now.

But Brendan had the feeling that if they went and looked at that body again, they’d full on just pass out. They were already so lightheaded that they were curled up as they leaned against the wall, practically sitting by now. As they swirled in uncertainty, the one thing they felt sure of was that they were not going to be able to reach Renee. They felt they should try anyway, but instead they focused on themself, on not fainting, which felt incredibly selfish.



Ivanna (Brendan)



Location: Château de La Lune:
Skills: N/A





Ivanna awoke feeling both shaken and stirred. She sat up slowly. She’d been sleeping the wrong way round on her bed, with her feet on the pillow. She was also on top of the covers.

A tall pile of very used makeup wipes with crumpled up false eyelashes lay on one pillow. Her wig, the crumpled blackmail note still in it, was on her other pillow. In a pile on the ground was the rest of her drag stuff; the jumpsuit, the fake nails, the fake boobs, her heels and her purse. She was just in her blue-striped pajama pants and weird-shade-of-yellow, doesn’t-quite-fit tank top, and she knew her short hair was probably going every which way.

She had vague and very scrambled memories of hiding her cellphone (she had no idea where) and making some sort of grand plan last night (she had no idea what.) Her memories of drinking with a beautiful magician, being insulted by a some guy, and having hot chocolate with Felix were only lightly scrambled.

She’d originally planned to not let any of the others see her out of drag at all. Keeping up the illusion just seemed like the queenly thing to do. Plus, she’d brought her best wig, which had been a gift from Superfetch, it’d be a shame to not wear it at all times, especially when her real hair was always a such a mess, and everyone was used to seeing her looking like a lady. But she was feeling real funky now and also kinda hungry. She did not know if she could last the two hours it would take to get into drag if she didn’t get some food first.

She wondered now if she could just sneak downstairs and get some food reaaaaal quick like this without being seen by anyone? Undetected wasn’t her usual thing, but she was used to transformation. She would become a panther. She would slip through the early light unnoticed, like an early, unnoticeable slippy thing. She would blend in with every shadow, and hide in every corner, and--

…what was that?

She listened. Now it was quiet. Something was wrong out there, something just sounded off. Ivanna could feel it. She stood, taking a few uncertain steps towards her door. It was just footsteps out there, it couldn’t be that bad, but she had a strange urge to bring her stuffed animal with her, like she had done when crossing the hall to her mom’s room after a nightmare as a little boy. She ignored the urge, leaving her rooster plush on the bed, and slowly turned the handle to her bedroom and stepped out. One of the La Lunes was going down the stairs, looking upset. Really upset. Ivanna felt unease in her stomache. She didn’t even know what was wrong yet but it seemed really bad. She was barely aware of the fact that Ralph, the fellow she shared a bathroom with, was also out in the hallway behind her, or maybe in front. She felt her unease growing. Was that Felix’s voice she heard at the bottom of the stairs? Her mind raced. Oh god. Did something happen to Felix?! Not her hot coco buddy! Ivanna rushed towards the sound of his voice, not sure where exactly he was in her panic. “Felix! Felix!”

Ivanna wandered awkwardly around the Chatin-whatever-it-was called. Everyone else seemed to have paired off quickly. Or maybe she was just slow. She’d really liked talking to that one woman, Millicent. Renee too. Ivanna knew she should try and talk to the others as well.

But as she walked around she thought about her life back home. She would perform shows. She would win and get praise and admiration and audience members walking up to her after the show to tell her how she served and slayed, and then she would go home. She didn’t talk to people, not really, not actual conversations. Unless the person was Superfetch. She fought the urge to try and call Superfetch. She didn’t know if the call would go through, but even if it did, what would she say? She wasn’t meant to tell anyone where she was, and there was no way Superfetch wouldn’t insist over and over that Ivanna tell her.

She headed back towards her room, stuffing her phone under her pillow so she’d be less tempted to try and call Superfetch. She needed to branch out, talk to other people. It had actually felt good to talk to Millicent and Renee and Felix, but it had also felt…weird. She felt some discomfort in her wig. She thought again about the weird things going on. How she’d gotten that weird note. Something was up but she couldn’t handle thinking about that right now.

She wasn’t drunk anymore. Or maybe she was. She exited her room to wander and talk to someone, anyone, before she completely forgot how.

Felix was checking on things. Making sure everything was where it was supposed to be. When he saw Ivanna he paused in what he was doing. “Hello mademoiselle. Are you enjoying yourself?”

Ivanna looked up and smiled. “Felix!” . She stumbled on words and paused for a second. Was she enjoying herself? She wasn’t sure how to answer. “I mean, I am, mostly,” she thought, before realizing she’d said it out loud too.

He nods. “I understand. I know the night has been chaotic. I wish I could do something about that. Is there anything I can help with to improve your stay?”

Ivanna wondered how she’d even explain anything that was going on, or if she even could. She thought about the things Felix did know had happened, with that one dude, whatever his name had been, who’d been insulting her earlier. “Um…I don’t know, just…it’s very nice here, but I’m not usually in such big groups…anyway, um, how are you?”

Felix smiled softly. “Ah, I understand. Follow me.” He waved Ivanna along to follow him into the kitchen. “Gordon, my friend, would you be so kind as to make us two hot chocolates. Ivana, anything special you like in your hot chocolate?”

Ivanna waved slightly to Gordon and smiled. “Oh, uh, Fetchie would put in marshmallows or candy canes, sometimes, that was good.”

“Can do,” Gordon said and set about the kitchen to make the hot chocolate. He put a pan of milk on the stove and started shredding some chocolate.

“Chocolate or tea are my usual go to’s for comforting drinks. You seemed like a hot chocolate person.” Felix explained.

“Thank you,” Said Ivanna, watching with amazement as Gordon made this fancy version of hot chocolate that did not involve microwaving water or powder packets. “Yeah, me and Superfetch, um, that’s my best friend from back home, if one of us was upset we’d call the other and go to their house and drink hot chocolate til late at night.”

“Then my gut feeling was correct.” Felix smiled. “I know a large crowd can be overwhelming. Especially this family.” Gordon snorted at the stove. “They are an intense bunch. Add that to the others, who are also unknown. Please sit.” He gestured to one of the bar stool chairs that were gathered around a counter.

“I dunno why it feels so overwhelming,” Ivanna said, sitting, “I’m used to crowds cos of the drag competitions, I never get stage fright or anything like that…but actually talking to people as myself feels different. It feels weird going somewhere without Superfetch, too.”

“I think you have done wonderfully. Interacting with the others I saw you chatting with them. It does help sometimes to have an anchor person with you, but if you don’t it really helps you stretch your socializing muscles.”

Ivanna smiled. “Thank you, Felix. I do want to talk to the others, I just didn’t realize how un-used to it I was…I guess a butlering job means you have to talk to a lot of different people, at least at work.” She paused for a moment. “Do you talk to a lot of people outside work? What do you do on your days off?”

“I get Wednesday and Thursday off, usually anyway.” Felix explained. “Not this week. But I will next week. I go to the mainland and I spend some time with friends.”

Gordon was making progress with the hot chocolate. He had pulled out additional ingredients and had them set on a tray. There were marshmallows and candy canes and assorted other things on the tray to add to the hot chocolate.

“What do you do on the mainland?” Ivanna asked, “Do you have drag shows in the part you go to?”

“I have never seen a drag show. They do sound interesting. Not super common in this area of France unfortunately. I do enjoy theater. I go to plays often. I also do things like hiking and such with my friends.”

Ivanna smiled, “I love theatre! I did plays, and backstage stuff a little in high school. Ooh, hiking…that sounds…peaceful, and nice.”

“It is. I enjoy the refreshing air and getting space. As big as this island can seem, it is much too small when you don’t want anyone around. There are a couple places where you might get some peace and quiet here. But there are often people in almost every corner. Especially at this time of year with the nominees.”

“Is the competition always this chaotic?” Ivanna asked, “Is there always so much….you know, all that stuff happening with the disagreements and the comments and that one dude or has it been more peaceful the other years?”

“It is never calm.” Felix laughed. “Though I do think this year is taking the cake for chaos.”

At this point Gordon came over with two mugs of fresh poured hot chocolate. “Enjoy,” he said smiling. He slid the drinks toward the pair of them. Felix put some marshmallows in his cup.

“Thank you,” said Ivanna to Gordon. She piled her cup with the various types of toppings that Gordon had put on the tray and slowly and gently sipped from the cup. “Holy shit that’s amazing.” She said, amazed. She fidgeted with her wig, trying to fix the growing discomfort. “Are the family the only people who nominate people?” She asked suddenly.

“Ah, no. Other people, members of the community, can nominate too. We have had people nominated for doing something extraordinary that got them the nomination. I do not know why or who nominated anyone this year.”

“The community? Like, here only? Not America?”

“Anyone who wants. If the reason passes muster Eleanor will accept. Though it is a max of ten.” Felix paused thinking. “If I remember right there was a young librarian who was nominated a few years back. She even won. The town she lived in all sent in letters of nomination for her. It was rather sweet.”

“Aww…” Ivanna smiled then she looked less happy. “So then…the note could have meant Fetch got me here,” She said sadly. She sipped carefully from the hot chocolate then sighed and took a napkin and wiped off the lipstick. It was late, hardly anyone was seeing her anyway, she might as well enjoy hot chocolate proper. She sipped in a much less gentle way. She felt the last bit of drunkenness leave her. Crap, did she just mention the note out loud??!

Felix didn't seem to respond to the comment about the note. “As I said, I do not know who nominated anyone here. The winner is often revealed when they win.”

Ivanna wanted to tell Felix more about the note, but she had no idea if that was a good idea, even. Wait, the note was under papers in her room. Felix went into the rooms to clean stuff. Ivanna looked up at Felix. No. He wouldn’t. He was the world’s most slay butler. Ivanna felt terrible for even considering the possibility. Maybe it was that dude in the room connected to hers? He could get in. No, he was cool too, probably. Ivanna shook her head to clear the thought. She was a little dizzy, but could not remember what she had just been thinking. It worked everytime. It was amazing how much the human brain had in common with an etch-a-sketch.

The last thing she recalled was what Felix had just said. If you win, you find out. Part of Ivanna did not want to know. She wanted very much to think that someone who saw a show had nominated her. A drag queen she’d performed with once, or something. But then she’d wonder forever and that might be worse.

“I have to win.”

Ivanna stood up. She’d talk to everyone who could vote and get them to like her and--oh, she was still a little drunk. She gripped the counter. Tomorrow. She’d do all that tomorrow.


Ivanna (Brendan)







Location: Château de La Lune
Skills: N/A






Ivanna felt the drinks kicking in more. She wanted very much to keep talking to Millicent but something in her was being pulled to talk to everyone. She felt weird and happy. Like nothing was gonna go wrong, until she heard the yelling.

She noticed one of the others from dinner, someone she hadn't talked to yet and approached. She was starting to feel a little scrambled from the wine. Was it stronger then other things?

“Hey,” Said Ivanna, “How are you?”

Renee looks up at Ivana and smiles, "Hey, I’m alright. A little upset, but fine.” She shrugs. "And you?”

“I’m.. um. Are you okay?” Ivanna sat down.

Lena, sitting in the third seat there, with her laptop closed looked between the two of them and then reopened her laptop and went back to whatever she had been doing before the chaos had happened.

"Yeah, he didn’t hurt me. Well maybe my pride a little. I didn’t expect that. After everything that happened during dinner I didn’t even think he’d be here.”

Ivanna was quiet for a few moments. “Yeah. I wish he’d leave us all alone.”

"Hopefully, he will now,” Renee said with little hope in her voice. She doubted he would. The threat he had thrown at her digging at her. She sighed heavily and then sat up properly in the chair.

Ivanna nodded, unsure what to say, feeling much heavier, awkward and uncertain.
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