Lady Seraphina

Legends of Zelda... and Everyone Else

Sorry, I think it's my turn, Navi's the forest guide after all. I just haven't been able to think up anything for them to do and getting through the forest completely without incident is sort of boring. Maybe Navi could hallucinate seeing the Hero's Shade or something cause of the trees.

Heroes of Beacon - the Next Chapter

That doesn't make a lick of sense. I could say that Gren has the ability to heal people by manipulating friction but is doesn't give it any sort of basis in logic.

That's Weird

Hey it's been two months, is anyone interested in picking this story back up?

Heroes of Beacon - the Next Chapter

They are not two different semblances but linked (Now realizing that.) When she releases final burst, momentarily she can use Sirens Scream immediately considering her large storage of energy capacity she has along with the other teachers.

@shadowkiller912

Dude, you didn't answer my question. She seems to have two distinct and completely unrelated abilities. One is a variety of different functions revolving around the manipulations of sound waves. The other is the ability to heal allies within a certain area around her. Every character is allowed one semblance, depending on the nature of that semblance it could have a variety of functions. Like Sapphire's ability to remain unseen by anyone could at some point grow into the ability for her to manipulate how people see her. In that area your character seems to have a problem. She has all of these powers directly related to sound wave manipulations which is perfectly fine but she also has the ability to heal allies in a set radius around her and there is no apparent link between the two of them. Your response to my question was less than informative, would you care to try again?

Heroes of Beacon - the Next Chapter

Have you closed the tab yet!? There is a chance that if it's still open and you press the back button you'll reload the previous page with your post intact. It's happened to me a couple of times and this usually works.

Heroes of Beacon - the Next Chapter

Hey @Prince of Seraphs, is it possible if we could write in 1st person for the contest? I promise you won't be disappointed.

@Guess Who

Knock yourself out, though just remember if the story suffers because of it you may lose points.

Good luck in the contest. I sure as heck ain't participating in this one. Can't think of any reason why Daniel would be involved in that crap.

@Scarifar

Generally it would be because the victim was someone close to you or else the person the police suspect is someone you care about and want to prove innocent.

Heroes of Beacon - Contest of Champions

Contest #7 - Elementary My Dear

Judge: Prince of Seraphs
Type: Writing Challenge
Deadline: Tuesday, March 31 2015 evening

Your task is to take the provided prompt and craft a 3rd-person, non-canon short story involving your Heroes of Beacon character based around it. There is no minimum or maximum length for this particular contest but something of substance would be appreciated.

Prompt: In the middle of the semester it is discovered that someone has been murdered, your character was somewhere nearby when this happened but they were not the murderer. For your own reasons you feel the strong need to solve this case and see the perpetrator brought to justice. The details of this are entirely up to you, the victim can be another student one of the teachers or someone we've never seen in the story before, perhaps a family member. The murder itself while of course all details concerning it are your choice I would hope that it was at least somewhat successfully executed, Example: the murderer shouldn't be found twenty minutes later covered in blood, holding the murder weapon. I give more points the more intricate (and perhaps ridiculous though don't go overboard) the plots are, such things as alibi tricks, murder from a distance and confusing time of death are all encouraged.

Heroes of Beacon - the Next Chapter

Greyson Groaned as he was faced against the ankou knowing this Grim was about to call out and get back up which Greyson didn't have that certain luxury at the moment knowing his other classmates were in similar situations so Greyson was on his own as he charged at the Grimm and quickly used his semblance to make the ankou freeze for a moment when it tried to hit Greyson and Greyson was about to attack but Greyson misjudged the Ankou's speed of recovery and Greyson was barley able to block its strike but he still got a cut on his leg as a result which just made this that much harder.

Greyson needed to take it down fast so Greyson loaded his sword and got ready using his semblance one more time when it strike but this time Greyson didn't try to outmaneuver it to try and flank it Greyson took it head on.

Greyson use his shotgun and got it right in the face which unfortunately made it screech and now Greyson needed to kill it quickly before its help arrived.

God if Greyson gets out of this he will make sure not to venture into territory like this alone again...

@Jangel13

Okay I'm not trying to be mean I'm really not but seriously dude, step it up. I accept that not everybody is a Hemingway or CS Lewis but this is just sloppy. It could be English is not your first language and I get that, it's hard writing in another language. That can excuse a lot but not everything.

This isn't meant to just be putting you down, I want to make that clear. I'm gonna try and give you some pointers.

Firstly when I read this I had very little idea what was actually going on, how Greyson got where he was or really well anything. First thing that would be a good idea would to not assume that everyone else has been following your character closely. A good portion of the time unless your character is directly interacting with theirs then they'll just skim your posts and some of the content will likely be forgotten or not read in the first place. Make it perfectly clear where you are and what you are doing cause I was really confused about that in your post, I had to look up your previous IC post to figure it out.

The second thing and this will basically solve all of your problems, post with proper grammar and clearly defined sentences and paragraphs. On the quote the words in red represent words that join two sentences that really shouldn't have been there, use a period instead. Periods are your friends, don't be afraid to use them.

Also the use of your characters name or not in a post is very important. It's important that you use the name of your character enough that we know who is posting (and this isn't just him, some of you represent your character with the word he or she all of the time and I have to reference the character tab to figure out who is posting). However your don't want to use it so much that we get sick of hearing the name. Words in blue above represent instances of Greyson's name that either should be replaced with some variation of 'he' or just removed period.

Lastly keep your tenses consistent. If you want to write on third person do so, if you want to write in first person do so, but make a definitive choice and stick to it. There is nothing more distracting than a post that constantly swaps between first and third person. You didn't do it so much in this post as in previous ones but it's still not great. Green represents the places where it happens.

There are a couple other minor grammatical issues to do with capitalization and such but those aren't really as much of a big deal.

I just want you to know that I am writing this not to be mean but to help you improve. Everyone no matter who they are need a kick in the pants once awhile. Following some of this advice would greatly increase the legibility of your posts, we'd all appreciate it.

Heroes of Beacon - Contest of Champions

The Pipes of the Wild

Weapon Name:

The Pipes of the Wild

Weapon Type:

Shepard's Pipes

Physical Description:

The Pipes of the Wild are comprised of nine hollow river reeds that have been bound together with vine. Each reeds is of a slightly decreased length to provide a different note.

Capabilities:

Music is a powerful thing, humans do many things to the beat of the drum. We laugh, we play, we fall in love. Music contains an almost magical power over all things. It comforts us when we’re sad, commiserates with us when we are downtrodden, leaps with us when we are joyful and inspires us when we are idle. For a moment though imagine if we could harness that power? Command the force of the melody to serve your whims. Suddenly music is not simply a mystic force but it is also a weapon. Near the dawn of time someone figured out how to do just that. The Pipes of the Wild command music rather than just playing it. They can effect changes in those that listen to them. A gentle peaceful melody will inspire such blissful awe in its listeners that they will become unable to move. While a fast and hard beat will drudge up feelings of intense anger leading people to tear each other to pieces on the stop logic all but forgotten. At first glance the power of music may not sound like a formidable weapon but there is nothing stronger than being able to change what is in a person’s heart.

Best Known For:

The people of Remnant know many legends that surround the Pipes of the Wild. One of the most popular it that it was created by a Goddess of the Wild by the name of Fauna. She was said to be the creator of the faunus and make the pipes as a weapon that would grant her children supremacy over the regular humans of the world. Many historians dispute even the existence of the Pipes of the Wild. Some believe they were ordinary pipes that were attributed with supernatural powers which actually originated with dust. Rumors of its resurface are recorded through history here and there. Though no proof has ever been given that it is a real object the success of many armies and campaigns have been attributed to the pipes. Some claim that it was present at the Battle at Fort Castle during the Faunus Wars and was the sole reason the faunus claimed victory. The Pipes are now believed to be in the hands of the White Fang.

History:

Despite what is said about the Pipes they are neither magic nor created by any God. The most well educated of historians hold the theory that most Celestial figures in popular mythology where actually regular humans or faunus with an impressive understanding and ability to utilize dust for the time they grew up in. The Pipes of the Wild have no magic about them. Fauna was in ancient times a goat faunus who possessed a rare ability to utilize a combinate dust that cause massive plant growth. Fauna was something of a genius when it came to sound and the Pipes were her masterpiece. They were tuned and retuned and recarved over and over again till the sound they produced had an unusual effect on the human brain. The various notes it is capable of creating target very specific areas of the brain bringing forth various effects depending on the way it is played. This of course is completely unknown to the citizens of today's world.

Diving into The Abyss - A Shattered World

You adopted one damn stupid cat.