Lemons
Supermaxx
Zeus23
Yankee
Raijinslayer
SkyeOfStars
Not a Sayan
VenusSundewVERA
BARRACKS, NEW ANCHORAGEWITH STEIN
It had been a long and rather eventful day.
The thought occured to Vera as she made her way through the corridors of the barracks, her mind wandering as she did so. While the small spat was certainly fresh and though she’d be stopping to see Ana first thing in the morning if she could, what truly concerned her was the morning’s events in the simulation labs with Dr. Lofgren. The results had come out positive— a fact that even she knew the rarity of being. It sent shivers of excitement through her veins, but beyond that excitement there was also fear. Not for the possible future, but for Lizzy; for what she might think, what she might say, and what she might do. All of it was supposed to be just one big “if” but the more she thought about it the smaller that “if” became.
She’d been waiting all day, or maybe longer, to knock on Stein’s door.
As she approached the door it slid open, as it had been set to an unlocked “open entry” sort of position. Vera’s eyes moved upward as the figure of the person she had come to see hung from the rafters with her legs wrapped around one of the supports for the ceiling, her hair drawn loose as it dropped towards the floor; Stein’s cerulean eyes looking towards Vera. A second later, Stein continued what she was doing as she crunched upwards as she continued the exercise she had been doing.
“Vera.” She commented as she moved forward into a crunch.
The younger girl’s eyes lit up, her apprehension vanishing in an instant, in favor of a familiar grin.
”Woah.” She muttered, before remembering herself. ”Uh... can I come in? S’not a bad time right?”
“The door is unlocked.” The older woman commented, as if openly inviting the girl in. “If it was a bad time the door would be locked or I would be in my NC.”
Vera didn’t mind the flat response, it was familiar and, despite the coldness, she found a comfort in it. With a spring in her step she entered, shutting the door behind her. ”Actually do you mind if I lock it?”
Stein stopped her exercise as she asked and shot the girl a quizzical expression. “I don’t see why not. Is there something wrong?”
”Nothing’s, well…”
Vera inhaled, sharp and long as she began trying to think of what to say and how to say it. She wasn’t afraid or even intimidated— she liked Stein and definitely trusted her, but she wasn’t exactly used to venting out her worries. At least not ones that concerned her. Vera made her way to the bed, but didn’t hop onto it, and instead plopped down on the floor to lean against its base.
”Ana and I had our uh...y’know, you remember Graham saying we were gonna be tested? We got tested and, well, we passed.”
Vera exhaled, that was half of it at least.
“I had absolutely no doubt.”
Vera smiled, proud, happy, but she wasn’t done. ”So...I think I want to do it.”
“What’s stopping you from doing it?”
The acceptance was a relief. Vera wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but the fact that Stein didn’t lead with “don’t” helped to settle her.
”I dunno, a lot, I guess. Nothing. It’s my choice, Graham says, Lof says, everyone says. That’s supposed to be a good thing, right? It’s good to choose, right?”
“I wouldn’t know, personally. I didn’t... get many options when I was younger. I suppose Percy and some others would think choice is good, but they might think their choice is yours and try to tell you what to do. But if Graham says it is your choice, it is your choice. He doesn’t seem the type to lie as far as I can tell.”
Vera nodded. ”I know. I think I trust Graham, Ana doesn’t like him but I understand. I trust Lizzy too, I know she wouldn’t force it either way, and Percy...I dunno, I don’t think he’d bother, he’s got enough to worry about. I feel bad for him y’know? I…”
She stopped, giggled quietly. ”Sorry, I didn’t mean to come here and talk your ear off.”
“Oh, I think you did. But no, I don’t mind if it’s you.” Stein commented as she continued her exercises in the rafters, simultaneously holding conversation as she did so.
The younger girl’s grin split wider, she looked to the ground and let her laugh spill out louder. ”That’s really cool, y’know, how you do that. I dunno, you’re really cool, you earned being cool, does that make sense? Maybe not.”
“We’re equals. It has nothing to do with being ‘cool’. There is no reason I should talk down to you like Moore does.”
”I guess you’re right. Moore... Percy’s a dad though, I think I can understand where he’s coming from.”
“I don’t. He uses that as an excuse.” Stein’s brows narrowed if Vera could see them, her tone darkening for a moment. “Just like all fathers, he’s manipulative and thinks his child is his slave; as if it is his right.”
The venom in Stein’s comment caused Vera to pause for a moment, smile fading. Although she nodded sympathetically she couldn’t quite bring herself to believe Stein’s words.
”I get it, yeah. Not all dad’s are good people, s’not a free ticket or anything. I dunno if Ana’s a slave though, he doesn’t hurt her, doesn’t call her names, doesn’t...I don’t think he’s really a bad person, I think he’s just scared. I think everyone here gets a little scared, even Graham. Heck, even I’m scared sometimes, if you can believe it,” She smiled, trying to bring the lightness back to her voice.
“True. There are times where I can… relate.”
”A’course ya can, silly, we’re people. That’s the great thing about it, we can all sorta get what we’re feeling. Might take some time, some practice, but it’s there.”
“So, what are you going to do about you compatibility? Are you going to Graham first? or Jackspar?”
Vera ran a hand under her hat and through her hair. That was the tough question. A bit guiltily she thought she might not tell Lizzy until she was stepping into an NC, but she knew she couldn’t get away with that, and wasn’t what she’d actually want to do anyway.
”Guess I’d go to Lizzy first. I’m kinda spooked, I know she won’t stop me but I...guess maybe that’s what’s got me. I think what I want is just, for someone to tell me it’s okay to do this, okay to want this, even if I know it’s not.”
Vera slumped back, pulling her knees in close and resting her chin atop them. ”I know it’s dumb, I shouldn’t need that, I’m old enough to be able to stand on my own two feet.”
“You want Jackspar’s respect and approval.”
”Yours wouldn’t hurt?” she asked, soft.
“Heh. You don't have to worry about that; you’ve always had my respect and approval. You might be different from me… in a lot of ways, but even during my first day here at New Anchorage I gave you that.”
Vera smiled again, a warmer, tamer kind. Her thoughts were still heavy, but it would be a bitter lie to say Stein’s words weren’t giving her a good lift. ”What do you think the surgery’ll be like?”
“The greatest pain you will ever feel in your life. You’re older than I was when I had mine so you will undoubtedly be more resilient, stronger, more capable.”
Stein took a heavy breath before removing herself from the rafters and making it back down to the floor; gripping her hair before drawing it back into a pair of twin tail’s which she’d clip with a metal band. “It’s an experience.”
”When you did it, did you cry?”
“I did. I cried a lot— it was the second worst experience of my life even with the stims that dulled the pain. I thought I was going to die right there on the table. I was nine years old, only a little older than Ana when they rended the metal into my back. It was not pleasant, but I persevered. I believe you will be no different, but there is the chance that it could turn fatal. I know you say you are ready, that you want it; but do you want to take the risk that your last breath could be on the table?” Stein replied matter-of-factly before grabbing a container of water on the countertop in her room.
Second worst. Vera might have asked about it, she knew she should have, but as Stein went on she found herself more focused on the present grimness. “Yes” and “No” seemed too forward, too inadequate, it was her life after all, and if it could end on that table like Stein said, shouldn’t she put more thought into it?
She looked up at Stein, bit her lip, but kept her smile. ”S’weird, right? Think of all the pilots in the world, the ones you meet, n’fight, n’kill, all of’em had the same surgery. Prolly all of’em cried. S’weird...right?”
“We all enter and leave the world in the same way.” Stein commented as she took a drink of the water inside the cannister. “But as for the surgery. I didn’t have a choice, but I wouldn’t have taken any other option. I was born compatible and I found a talent in it that I didn’t have for anything else. Some people would say it was “destiny” or I was a “prodigy” but it was just how my genetics lined up. You said you wanted it, right?”
Stein turned from Vera and showed her back, her free hand motioning to her spine— the circular indents visibly apparent in the blonde-haired girl’s back up to her base of the neck. “This is nothing if you want it. This is just a small obstacle.”
Vera touched the back of her own neck, tracing the vertebrae where she saw Stein’s implants were. It gave her an unsettling pit in her stomach to admit she didn’t just want it, she needed it. She saw a life in those little metal additions, saw an opportunity she couldn’t afford to miss.
”Dunno if they’ll look as pretty on me,” she said. ”But guess I won’t know if I don’t try.”
Stein turned back to Vera, putting a hand on her shoulder. “There is no question for me that you will be able handle it.”
Vera set her hand on top of Stein’s, it felt warm, but maybe that was just her nerves. She nodded, then got up to her feet and let the older girl’s hand go. ”You’re a good person, Stein. Everything that’s happened to you, you’re you now and I’m glad you’re here.”
“As strong as stone.” Stein replied, reflecting on something from her past.
”S’good to be strong, but s’also good to have nice friends. If I only ever get the one, I think I’d still be happy.”
“You’d be my first in a long time. So don’t die on the table, okay?”
Vera let herself giggle, she couldn’t quite help it. ”I’ll definitely try.”
“I didn’t say anything about trying.” Stein smirked.
Suppressing the smile as best she could, which was admittedly poor, Vera stood up straight in salute. ”Ma’am, yes ma’am.”
Stein reached out and adjusted Vera’s arm into a proper salute, restraining her urge to fall into a more emotive action. “I’d go talk to Jackspar then. Good luck.”
Vera adjusted her hat, nodding happily, and scurried out of the room.
