megatrash

In Bloom [HangYourSecrets x megatrash] [18+]

Jane’s eyes popped open at the sensation of Rob’s fingers ruffling her hair, and after pulling out her ear buds, she couldn’t help but smile at his question. 1) Because she couldn’t think of something she’d rather do than spend a whole day exploring a foreign city with Rob and 2) this must mean that he wasn’t too upset about the set last night, something she was worried about.

But before she could reply, Austin and Sam interrupted, asking if they could come along. When Rob agreed, Jane just shrugged at him. A part of her really wished they weren’t, but what was she going to do? Tell them no? Of course not.

“Let me just put something on and brush my teeth, yeah?” she smiled to the three before her. “I’ll be ready in five. While you’re at it, wanna see if Lyla and Aaron wanna tag along?

“Sounds good,” said Austin, and he immediately darted outside to the parking lot to ask the two.

“I’ll be outside,” Sam added, following Austin out of the door.

This left Jane, Rob and their sleeping driver in the bus alone. She popped up immediately and headed towards the back of the bus, opting to brush her teeth before getting dressed in something more appropriate than a t shirt to go exploring. After pulling on a light pair of skinny jeans and a large, flimsy white shirt, she grabbed her black vans and brought them over to the couch Rob was still lounging on and plopped down next to him. But, as always, being so close to him made her want to do only one thing: be all over him.

“Hey,” she spoke lowly as one leg swung over his lap and she sat down to face him. Her eyes scanned his face momentarily before continuing, causing her stomach to flutter, and as if to brace herself for it, she placed her hands firmly on his shoulders. “I don’t like repeating myself, but seriously, I’m sorry for last night.” She kissed him softly, letting a hand go up into his hair. “I give you full permission to kick me out of the band if I pull some shit like that again.” Her eyes landed back on his, and for a moment, she sat there in silence. Warm and fuzzy feelings began to bubble up inside of her, but instead of spilling her guts to Rob, Jane did what Jane did best.

After her hands went to either side of his face, she pulled him towards her and kissed him deeply, and as she did, all of her senses lit up. “God, Rob,” she mumbled as she kissed him, “what are you doing to me?” Her hands began to travel south, down his chest and stomach, and soon they were fidgeting with his belt buckle that sat underneath her. It was as if she forgot everything happening around them and where they were, but she was soon reminded as the sound of the door whooshing open snapped her out of it.

“Shit,” Jane mumbled as she stood up abruptly, almost falling over.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Lyla said as she looked out of the windshield. “We’re, um, we’re ready when you are.”

“Y-yeah,” Jane said as she began to work on her shoes. “Us, too.” Her cheeks had worked up to a bright red shade as Lyla exited the bus back to the group outside. She looked to Rob and winced as she whispered a “sorry,” then grabbed her bag and nearly stumbled out of the bus.

He wasn’t joking about the lack of privacy they would have on this tour, but if the past two days were any inkling on how the rest of their trip was going to be, Jane felt like she might go crazy. With all the mental turmoil she was experiencing, if sex couldn’t be her vice, it would be drugs and booze, which she personally didn’t mind, but she knew it’d probably cause more tension between the bandmates if she was completely annihilated constantly.

Maybe she could ask Harold to book them a hotel room soon.

Jane stood with the rest of the group, wrapping her messy hair in a large bun on her head and slipping on her large sunglasses over her eyes.

*****

Soon, the six of them were walking the streets of Copenhagen together, and Jane was puffing on a cigarette as she walked with Lyla behind the four men. After the initial awkward apology for what she had walked into, Lyla seemed to definitely be coming out her shell, at least with Jane, and the two were cracking up laughing as they talked about everything from high school to more crude topics. She was thankful to have another girl around that didn’t hate her, like Jane felt Zoe did.

She was doing her best not to think of Zoe at all, but it was hard. It was one thing knowing from Andy that Zoe didn’t really like her to begin with, but now that she and Rob were getting closer, the thought of her made her uneasy. It didn’t help that she was attractive, too.

They all settled on checking out the Tivoli Gardens, and although Jane hated amusement parks, she decided not to vocalize it and ruin the fun for everyone else. So instead, when everyone entered and broke off from the group, Jane opted to grab a beer from a stand and sit on a bench by herself. Once she pulled out her phone, she immediately saw a text from Andy.

Andy, 12:34 PM: You free before the show later?

Without responding, Jane tucked the phone back in her purse and sighed in frustration. She was so torn on how to handle the options in front of her. Seeing where things go with Andy could be fun, but it also felt like it could be regrettable, which she had never worried about until recently. But Rob was hanging out with Zoe, doing God knows what, so would it really be that awful of her to hook up with Andy? Part of Jane wished that she knew what was really going on between the two, just so she could gauge how far would be too far.

Jane decided to grab her phone once again and reply to Andy. It wasn’t his fault she was so confused, and after all, he had been a really good friend to her during all of this madness.

Jane, 12:41 PM: Not sure yet. I’ll let you know, yeah?
Andy, 12:44 PM: Sounds good.

After sticking her phone back in her purse, Jane scratched at her head and yawned as she people watched from behind the dark lenses. It was so easy to forget how big the world is, and now, she felt so tiny and insignificant as she sat on the bench by herself. It was both a great and awful feeling, and it gave her a sort of calmness that she had been missing that morning. Well, a calmness she had been missing for a long time. Jane missed a lot of things about herself lately, like being able to have fun wherever she was, her disregard for love and relationships, her inability to grow emotionally attached to someone.

Now, she was almost a person she didn’t recognize: this needy, jealous, emotional wreck that she didn’t blame Rob for not wanting to be exclusive with. If she was honest, she had always been a mess. But when it was paired with such confidence and carelessness, it felt better than it did now.

Jane took a sip of her beer as she pulled out her phone for the last time, now to text Rob.

Jane, 12:58 PM: Hey, I was thinking maybe we could get a hotel room on our next night off. Check in early, enjoy some time alone.

Next, she got on Spotify and scrolled through what felt like thousands of songs before she chose I Found by Amber Run, a song that seemed to mirror all the things she was feeling inside. And Jane sat there, completely engulfed in her own emotions, as one song ended and another began, unconcerned with the world continuing around her.

Promises left on the sand(megatrash/freedom)

Replying to you is my top priority today! (besides work, of course :p) Server errors both on the site AND at work, memorial day, and then puking all day yesterday really kicked my ass :p

In Bloom [HangYourSecrets x megatrash] [18+]

Jane had awoken in a hazy state at some point during the night, and bits and pieces of the performance began to flood her memory, causing her to groan. It was an idiotic way of coping with emotions, but she was all too familiar with it – running to booze or drugs to mask any pain she might be feeling. To make matters worse, she didn’t even understand the pain she was feeling. The arrangement that her and Rob made was very clear. Andy kissed her. Why would she be upset that Rob was hanging out with Zoe?

It was either the confusion or the beginning stages of a hangover, but her head began to throb as she laid in silence. Her hand reached up to the curtain that sectioned her bunk off from the rest of the van, and after tugging on it, she saw that both Sam and Austin’s curtains across from her were also closed. A signal that she would be able to climb down without being seen. She sighed as she mentally encouraged herself to get up, although feeling extremely sluggish, and in a swift motion, she descended from her bunk and crawled into Rob’s, closing the curtain behind her.

He was deep in sleep, seemingly unaware of her presence, and Jane gently maneuvered herself into the “little spoon” position, pulling his arm around her and the blanket up over them. Any sense of guilt or regret was instantly replaced with the warm euphoria of his much larger frame engulfing hers, a reminder of the multiple times they had slept this way together before they knew each other’s true feelings.

Jane had mixed feelings about those days. In a way, they were much simpler than the present – no constant navigation around the other’s feelings, no unspoken resentment or mixed signals. But Jane knew now that she couldn’t give up being intimate with Rob, and that included more than just physically. He was so many things that she wasn’t: responsible, logical, thoughtful… His presence alone brought such a balance to Jane’s energy that she hadn’t known she needed. And for once, in both a completely selfless and selfish way, she wanted to be the one he ran to when he was upset. Not Zoe. She wanted to be the only one to take care of him, emotionally and physically. She wanted to be enough for him.

But, Jane was still unsure that she could be that for him. And, to be frank, it fucking sucked.

It also sucked that the one person that she would hook up with was becoming less and less appealing as her attraction to Rob grew. It wasn’t that Andy had changed. He was great, and Jane was truly appreciative of him and the friend he had been to her. But, if she had to be completely honest, the thought of being with anyone but Rob was becoming drastically unsatisfying. That was

Jane’s racing mind eventually slowed down as she succumbed to the comfort she was feeling in the small bunk, and her eyes began to flutter shut before she fell back into a deep sleep.

*****

The body behind Jane began to a stir a bit, causing her to wake up once again, but this time, she felt much better. She worked to turn her body around to face him, and after settling in a comfortable position, she lightly began to kiss his chest and collarbones. “I’m sorry,” she began, whispering words between kisses, “about last night… I got… way too fucked up… I won’t let it… happen again.”

Jane pulled on his shoulder to scoot herself up a bit, then moved her attention to his neck and ear. “I just had… a weird night…” Her fingers ran through his hair softly, letting her nails graze lightly against his scalp. She founder her conscious begging for her to tell Rob the truth: that the whole casual thing was becoming something she didn’t want, and that she would rather just be with him and work out the bullshit. And that with each passing day, she was falling in love with him more and more.

But Jane decided against it, and instead, she continued to kiss him, now scratching his back slowly. ”Maybe I should say something,” she thought to herself. But was it worth ruining what they had?

Maybe.

“Rob… I have to – “

“Jesus Christ, Jane, its 7:15,” a familiar voice groaned from the bunk across from them.

Jane winced as she whispered back “Sorry, Aust.” Her eyes flicked up to Rob and smiled faintly. “We’ll finish this later, yeah?” She pressed a kiss into his chest and forced herself up to a sitting position, peering out of the curtain to make sure that Austin’s and Sam’s were still closed, and after scooping her clothes up off the floor, she quickly shimmied the long shirt over her body that hit about mid-thigh and dug a cigarette out of her purse. As she exited their part of the van, she nearly ran into the Lyla who had just been getting up.

“Smoke?” Jane whispered as she held her cigarette.

Lyla nodded and followed her outside to the front of the van.

The morning was crisp, barely illuminated by the white, overcast clouds covering the rising sun. Jane glanced over to Vicarious’ bus parked about 30 feet away, which showed no sign of life yet.

“Hey,” Jane’s raspy voice broke the silence as it struggle to produce a sound any louder than a whisper, “I swear not all nights are like last night. That was probably my worst set to date.” She cleared her throat then took a drag of the cigarette.

“I know,” Lyla replied, her voice the opposite of Jane’s – smooth and feminine. “I’ve seen videos of your sets before. Cameron’s a big fan.”

Jane scoffed. “Yeah, I’ve gotten the hint.” She smiled faintly at Lyla. “I usually try not to get that high before a show. I was just, I don’t know.”

“I saw you,” Lyla paused to take a drag, “when you were heading towards the busses. You saw Rob and looked like you were gonna have a break down right there on the sidewalk.”

Jane rubbed the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Yeah. I don’t know, man. I’m usually not the jealous type. Like, really, really not. But, knowing that they’re probably gonna hook up eventually just irks me.”

“I get it,” Lyla put a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “You don’t want to be casual anymore?”

Jane scratched the back of her neck. “I honestly have no clue anymore. I never thought I was built for monogamy, but now he’s the only person I wanna be with. And I wanna be the only one he wants to be with.”

Lyla flicked her cigarette and crossed her arms. “You’re in love.”

“Jesus,” Jane whispered with a smirk on her face. “Enough with this shit. What about you, huh? You have a boyfriend at home?”

“Yeah,” Lyla smiled. “Joey. A sweet guy. A little boring, but he’s a good guy. Takes care of me.”

Although Jane nodded in agreement, she could never understand the mentality of girls like Lyla in relationships like that. Why would you want to be in a relationship that doesn’t excite you? Where there’s no passion, but just functionality? Many people could function together, but it takes a special person to light another on fire.

And that’s how she felt about Rob. Yeah, things may get a little weird between them, but never once did Jane feel bored or sick of him. Even when they were just friends, she couldn’t stand being away from him for more than a few days. Now she didn’t want to be away from him for a few hours since they had took their chemistry to the next level. It was almost sickening.

“Well, good for you,” Jane said as she forced a smile.

*****

Jane wasn’t even sure what city they had driven to over the course of the evening and definitely didn’t want to go exploring alone, so she laid on the couch quietly and lit up one of the joints she had bought from Hendrick. A figure in her peripheral vision caught her eye, and she looked up to see Aaron groggily walking out towards the common area.

“Mornin’,” Jane smiled as he passed her. After a few polite words, Jane nuzzled herself back into the couch and worked her earbuds in, choosing Bodies by The Duke Spirit to listen to as she shut her eyes.

She knew she had to ride this out, at least for now. Maybe Rob wouldn’t be happy with it either. Perhaps he’d decide that he didn’t want things to be ‘casual,’ and that his feelings for Zoe were misguided.

Maybe Jane just needed to hook up with Andy and get it over it. Maybe that would change her mind.

She groaned at her thoughts and turned up the volume on her phone to drown them out. All she wanted was Rob… all the time. And it was becoming a problem.

[18+] [Ophelia x megatrash]

Caleb's fingers found their way to Lola's hair, and they slowly and gently worked through it as he they laid in silence for a few minutes. His eyes were shut, and he could feel himself beginning to drift back to sleep, but he fought it due to the fact that he would rather do something else.

A hand titled up her head towards hers, and he leaned in and kissed her slowly. But before he could do further, his phone rang on the night stand. "Shit," he mumbled as he turned his body over and stretched to reach it.

"Yeah," he greeted the the called gruffly. "Again? What this time?"
Caleb paused, then sighed. "Fuck. Alright, well, keep me posted, okay? Have some of the prospects keep an eye out."

He slapped the flip phone closed and tossed it on the floor, groaning. "More threats. I guess we intercepted something about an attack or some shit." His hand mindlessly scratched at his head while his mind raced at lightning speed. "I gotta figure out what they're planning before they execute it."

In Bloom [HangYourSecrets x megatrash] [18+]

Jane felt as if she were in a trance as she exited the bus into the street, illuminated slightly by a setting sun in the east. She took a deep breath as her eyes scanned both directions for the back entrance to the venue, and once the small black door was located, she made her way through to the venue. The AC that blasted against her skin dampened with sweat caused a chill to run down her spine as she slowly trailed the back hallway out into the main room. A bar sat almost immediately to her right, and a stage to her left, and she noticed the small amount of space between the two. She shrugged – it wasn’t like In Bloom’s first night in Europe was going to be a sold out show – and she made her way to a barstool, plopping down into it and taking a deep breath.

It would be impossible, especially for Jane, to verbalize the gratefulness she felt for having Rob back in her life without any tension between the two. It had been so long since the both of them spent time together without any undertones of anger, disappointment, or unspoken affection. Now, they both were able to be together without any of the trivial bullshit of a ‘real’ relationship. How could Jane not be happy?

Well, there was one undeniable fact. That anytime Jane even thought of Rob, she fell deeper and deeper for him. And while that alone wasn’t something awful, the inevitability that he and Zoe would wind up being intimate crushed her. She knew that wasn’t fair, logically, but her mind couldn’t help wander to those thoughts as she laid next to him at night. It made her feel even worse that she would probably have sex with someone else, too.

Jane was a different animal than Rob. She loved to be physical without attachment. But her opinions of Rob and how he viewed sleeping with someone wasn’t that simple. She felt like he would, if he hadn’t already, would begin to grow feelings for Zoe if they starting hooking up. And that was what haunted her thoughts. Jane could deal with him sleeping with someone else but wanting to come lay with her at night, but not him emotionally being satisfied with someone else. It was her own insecurities triggering these thoughts. She knew she could keep anyone satisfied physically. But mentally? She wasn’t sure. Especially with someone as thought-driven and intelligent as Rob.

After being served her rum and coke, her fingers touched the ice cubes thoughtlessly, making them bob down into the brown liquid, when the sound of someone next to her shook her out of her own head.

“Hey,” Andy’s deep voice seemed to boom in her ears.

Jane swiveled her body to face him a bit, and at the sight of him, she smiled. “How’ve you been?” It had been a few days since they had a decent conversation, mostly because of how wrapped up in Rob she was.

“Not as good as you,” he chuckled as his fingers touched the side of her neck.

Her eyes widened, and her hand reached up to her neck subconsciously, grazing his fingers. “Jesus,” she whispered.

Andy’s laughed deepened as he watched her. “Things must be good between you two, huh?”

She smiled as she took a sip of her drink. “Yeah.” Her hand went back to her lap, and when her eyes scanned her arm, she noticed the light bruises on her wrists and forearms.

His eyes also looked, then met hers. But before he can speak, Jane intercepted.

“It’s me,” her voice lowly pushed out. “I, uh, I like it rough usually.”

Andy’s eyes widened as she spoke. “Looks like it.” The bartender stopped in front of him, and he ordered a beer. “My friend Hendrick is coming tonight. He might be able to get us something fun.”

Jane perked up at his words. “That would be amazing. I need something. Anything.” She began to laugh at herself and shook her head. “Listen to me. I sound like a fucking junky, yeah?” She took a sip of her drink and sighed.

“I’m the same way. Sometimes alcohol just doesn’t do it.” Andy raised his glass and clinked it against hers. “You look beautiful tonight, Jane.”

His words caught her off-guard, and in an attempt to understand what he was saying, she looked down at herself. A wrinkled t-shirt, a pair of faded, denim shorts, and a large flannel that hung to her sides. “You’re joking, right?” Another sip of her drink. “I obviously just got done banging another guy. I’m sweaty and dressed like a middle-school boy, hicky on my neck and all, and you think I look beautiful.” Her voice hinted at her disbelief. “You probably need to raise your standards, Andy.”

“That stuff doesn’t bother me,” he admitted quietly but confidently. “Who I’ve gotten to know shines through all of that.”

Jane scratched at her scalp awkwardly at an attempt to find what to say in response. “I don’t…”

“ – I don’t want to date you, Jane,” he interrupted. “I’m just telling it how it is.”

It was a relief to hear that Andy wasn’t developing feelings like that for her. Jane couldn’t cater to that, especially since what she felt for Rob was so overpowering. But, she couldn’t help but smirk at what he said. There was an attraction of a different nature for Andy that she felt. But was it too soon? Her and Rob had just came to their agreement days ago. “You’re not so bad yourself.” The words almost felt wrong coming out of her mouth, but she wasn’t lying.

Before Andy could respond, a blonde man came behind him and patted his shoulder. “Andy!” he exclaimed. “I never thought I’d see you again.” His words with drenched with a thick German accent.

Andy swiveled around and embraced the man. “Hendrick! Ah, I’m so glad to see you. This is Jane,” he turned back around and waved an arm at her. “Jane, this is Hendrick. He was a foreign exchange student at my high school years ago. We always kept it touch.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jane offered a hand, and Hendrick shook it firmly.

“Your girlfriend?” he asked eagerly.

Andy laughed. “No. A friend. She’s in the other band we’re touring with.”

“Ah, I see, I see. Well, Jane, I already know Andy’s response, but do you smoke?”

Jane’s eyes lit up. “Yes. Please.” She laughed. “I’d kill for a joint right now.”

Hendrick also laughed. “Well, I’ll smoke you out. I also have a few extras if you want to buy. I have some Xanax too, but – “

“I’ll take one. And five joints.”
Both Hendrick and Andy smirked. “Well, you’ve got it.” He flipped around the backpack he was wearing and dug through it until he found a pill bottle. “Here’s that.” He rummaged around some more. “And,” he began as his eyes scanned around them, “are the joints.”

They discussed a price, and after searching around in her purse, Jane took out crumpled American dollars and handed it to them. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“No! Easy enough to exchange. Most of my profit is made from tourists.” Hendrick smiled politely and nodded. “I’m gonna find Trent, I’ll catch you around Andy?”

He nodded. “Yeah, man. Our set’s at ten. Find me before then and we’ll smoke.”

*****

After an hour or so of bullshitting, Jane really began to feel the effects of the narcotic coursing through her. “Shit,” she mumbled. “I don’t even think I wanna play a show anymore.” Her words were slurred, but lighthearted.

As if on cue, a man dressed in all black tapped her shoulder. “You’re on in five. Tell the others.”

Jane nodded and turned to say goodbye to Andy when he grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him, and once in range, he kissed her passionately.

At first Jane complied, allowing herself to be engulfed in the moment, but a few moments, she pushed him away. “Andy, I don’t know if – “

“ – you’re ready yet?” Andy finished her sentence, a somber tone to his voice. “I get it.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just… Things are good right now. I don’t wanna fuck it up yet. I know I will eventually.” Her hand rose and touched his cheek. “You’ll be the first to know.” Jane retracted her hand and walked away, pushing the black door back to the street outside. Her eyes scanned for Rob in the sea of show-goers, and as they recognized her, the crowd began to murmur.

“That’s her!” she heard from someone in the line.

“Oh shit,” she mumbled to herself. Jane felt way too high to talk to strangers. “Hi, hi, excuse me, hi, thank you,” she kept repeated as she made her way down to the street to the parked bussed. Her eyes desperately scanned for him, and when she saw his head, notably poking out from the shorter people around him, she also saw Zoe’s dark hair facing away from her and towards Rob. They were just talking, but in a moment of inebriation and pure selfishness, Jane felt a flash of anger and quickly turned herself around, plodding back towards the venue.

Why was she getting so emotional over him talking to her? It was pretty ridiculous, even to Jane, but yet she couldn’t help but feel tears begin to burn her eyes as she pulled open the door once again and charged towards the bar.

“Two tequila shots, please.”

*****

Jane found herself front and center on the stage, with the bright lights burning her skin. “Hey, everyone.” She was still slurring her words. “We’re In Bloom from California. Thanks for coming out tonight.”

Throughout the set, although hitting each note as always, there was lack of enthusiasm behind her performance. It was partly due to the Xanax, but also the undeniable fact that she had gotten insanely jealous over nothing. It made her hate herself.

They were supposed to cover Weatherman, but when it’s turn came alone in the set list, Jane introduced the song that was supposed to be played later so that they would skip it. The last song she was in the mood for was Weatherman.

After what felt like an hour, Jane bid her farewell to the crowd and rushed off the stage, and once outside, nearly sprinted to the tour bus, closing the door behind her. She terrified the driver, Grant, to had been asleep in his bunk. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay. We’ll probably go soon, yes?”

“I hope so,” Jane mumbled as she made her way to the back of the bus. Once in front of both her and Rob’s bunk, one on top of the other, she stared at his. The curtain was pushed open, and the sheets were still in a tangled mess from earlier. She closed the curtain that divided the set of bunks and stripped down, leaving her sweaty clothes on the floor, and after digging in her purse, she pulled out a joint and placed it on Rob’s pillow before climbing up into her bunk.

If she wasn’t already so high, she would probably smoke a joing herself, but the world already felt as if it were spinning beneath her, so instead, she closed the curtain that hid her bunk and pulled up the thin blanket around her nude body.

Why did her stupid feelings have to ruin something that seemed so good? Things had been so amazing between them, she would be a complete idiot to fuck it up.

But yet, she laid in her bed alone, hoping desperately that Rob would come back to the van and not stay out with Zoe, although he had every right to. The buzz she had eventually led her into a deep, dark sleep, so deep that when the Grant has asked her a question, one she couldn’t remember, she could only grunt in response before her eyelids became too heavy to keep open.

Promises left on the sand(megatrash/freedom)

I AM SO SORRY THAT TOOK SO LONG! It's been one thing after another. Thanks for your patience :-)

Promises left on the sand(megatrash/freedom)

Cameron resembled a deer in headlights as the exchange continued between the two men before her. When the blonde’s attention landed on her, she slowly scooted behind Justin without thought as a form of protection. Although she was a bit embarrassed to be so skittish, it was better than being naïve and vulnerable with the new group of people before them.

When the man asked them to follow, her flight-or-fight instinct was triggered, but she had to ignore it; they either needed to cooperate or they’d be killed. Cameron remained behind Justin in silence as they were led to the outpost, keeping her eyes trained on the mysterious characters in front of them. What type of ‘feeling’ would he have about them that would change his tone so quickly? She was growing more suspicious with every step she took, but she made a conscious effort to appear confident.

The outpost looked to be almost a mile from the heart of the city, a small concrete, building surrounded by rubble. The structure itself didn’t look much better than the ruins around it, but it seemed to serve its purpose – a sun-bleached gray sheet hung over the doorway, and a rusty folding chair sat to the right of it. Cameron assumed it was for whoever was on watch, which was proven true when a man who had been at the front of the group sat, gun in hand, when the blonde man signaled them to stop.

“Search them,” he spoke quietly, and two guards began to pat the pair down.

“Watch it,” Cameron nearly growled as one of the guards patted her back down to her waist. The guard grabbed the small gun tucked in the waist of her jeans and tossed it to another man.

The man smiled at Cameron’s resistance. “You’ll get your weapons back. It’s just a precaution.”

Once the guards were satisfied, he nodded and waved a hand, telling them to enter the structure behind him. Cameron’s eyes flashed to Justin’s momentarily, attempting to read how he felt about the situation, but it was futile.

The room was dimly lit by a few candle lanterns hanging in the corners. The walls were covered with large, hand-drawn maps, detailing the land all the way from the east coast all the way to middle-America, areas that Cameron had never even heard stories of before. She knew, logically, that there had to be more than what those at Chesapeake taught her, but actually seeing it on paper in front of her was blowing her mind. Had they traveled this far and lived to tell the tale?

“My name is Connor,” his voice seemed to boom in the small room. “We’re a brigade of Hartford’s military.”

“Military?” Cameron mumbled under her breath.

His eyes snapped to her. “Yes. Of sorts. A group of gun-wielding assholes with a collective goal.”

She couldn't help but chuckle.

He began to pace the small space in front of him. “So. You want to tell us why you’re heading to Portland? I mean, I have my suspicions, but I’d rather hear it from you.” Connor turned on his heels and faced his body to Justin.

[18+] [Ophelia x megatrash]

Caleb's eyes popped back open when he heard Lola's voice next to him. He wanted so badly to discuss business and get it over with: that he shouldn't have let things go so far, it was dumb of them to sleep together because of the situation that they were in, that they shouldn't do it again, etc.

But after looking at her for a few moments, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not only was she beautiful, of course, but she wasn't like the usual girls he had been with. She wasn't loud, annoying or demanding. But Caleb knew that he also didn't know Lola that well, which normally, a one night stand didn't require this. But she was staying at his house, and it all stemmed from her being kidnapped. Plus, he didn't know if she was the clingy type or not. She wouldn't expect Caleb to be her boyfriend, right?

He sighed and smirked as he closed his eyes again, stretching out and arm and signaling her to lay on his bare torso, which was littered in tattoos and scars. "Morning," he said gruffly.

Caleb figured he would enjoy the moment while he could, and not focus of the fact that he didn't know what lay ahead of them. For now.

"We had a little too much fun last night, huh?"

In Bloom [HangYourSecrets x megatrash] [18+]

The short time leading up to their departure to Europe were some of the best days, in Jane’s opinion, that her and Rob had together since they first began the tour. Hell, since before the single was being written. Without the uncomfortable energy from trying to tip-toe around the other’s feelings, things seemed to be settling down to how they used to be between the two. They were getting along again, just as they did when they were younger, albeit the now almost-constant physical intimacy.

It seemed as though the new arrangement had heightened Jane’s need to be touching Rob whenever she could, whether it was just using him as a pillow, rubbing his arm, or something far more intimate. Once again, without the tension, things seemed to flow much more natural between the two. One of Jane’s favorite attributes to what they had physically is that she never had to verbally express what she needed from him at the given moment; he seemed to read her far better than anyone else she had been with. Sometimes she wanted things to be more slow-burning and passionate, and other times she craved a mood more aggressive and animalistic, devoid of all romance. The point was that she never had to say what she wanted. He always just knew.

It was all beginning to feel like an addiction. And in turn, it was making the thought of her sleeping with someone else much more difficult to grasp than it was previously. In reality, casual relationships were something that Jane was all too familiar with – using someone physically and not worrying about emotions or feelings. But, this was different. Jane had never tried it with someone who she truly cared for (or was falling deeply in love with.) Due to feeling complete satisfaction, the thought of being with others had barely crossed her mind.

But she knew it would, especially since they would soon be spending so much time with Vicarious. Jane did her best not to think of Zoe, but so many factors contributed to the general uneasy feeling she gave her. A major one being that Zoe wanted Rob. Part of her couldn’t be mad – she knew how great Rob was, and Jane didn’t blame her for developing a crush. But the rest of her was fuming that Zoe seemed to hate her without even having a full conversation. It made her wonder what Rob had told her.

Now they were all on a plane together, heading to completely new territory, with no idea what laid ahead of them. Jane was thrilled by it, so much so that she found keeping still for twelve hours a difficult task. Her seat was next to the window, with Rob next to her, and Sam next to him. After a few drinks, Jane got fidgety, and she turned her body away from the window to face him.

“Hey,” she whispered with a smirk on her face. Her fingers slowly grazed the top of his hand and forearm. After a few moments of silence, Jane grabbed his arm to wrap around her body, and she nuzzled her way up until the side of her face rested on his shoulder. “Four more hours,” her voice squeaked quietly as she looked up to him, then her hand reached behind his head and pulled his face down to her so that her lips could meet his. It only felt as if a few seconds passed before she heard a groan from Sam, which made her let go of his neck and, instead, close her eyes and lay on his chest as her hand rested on his stomach. Between the vibration of the plane and the warmth that Rob was providing her, she quickly fell asleep in the semi-fetal position she had made herself comfortable in.

*****

After they approached the bus, Jane remained on the outside to smoke a cigarette, and Lyla followed to continue their conversation. It was obvious as to why Cameron had invited her for an internship in the first place. She was a tall, lanky strawberry blonde who could probably have a shot at modeling if sound engineering didn’t work out. Lyla was born and raised by by a big family in Nebraska, but she explained how bored she got, so she moved to California for school. She was quiet and kind, but Jane assumed that she would loosen up more once she got to know the band.

“And that’s Vicarious’ bus,” Jane said quietly as smoke poured out of her mouth, nodding her head towards it. “You’ll be seeing a lot of them.” Her voice had a hint of annoyance in it.

“Do you guys not get along?” Lyla asked as politely as possible.

“Eh, more like we get along too much,” Jane scoffed. “Zoe and Rob are close, and I’m good friends with Andy. Well. Something like that.”

“Aren’t you and Rob dating?” She cocked her head to the side in curiosity.

Jane smirked. “Casually. Whatever that means. We’ve been friends for years.”

Lyla nodded, grabbing a cigarette from the pack as Jane held it to her. “How is that working out?”

Jane lit a second cigarette to make up for lost time on the plane. “It’s a new arrangement, so we’ll find out.” She scratched at her head in thought, and they smoked in silence together, then she stomped her cigarette on the asphalt below. “You ready?”

Lyla nodded and followed Jane onto the bus just as Austin and Sam began to jog down the stairs in a hurry, and she couldn’t help but notice Austin’s reluctance to make eye contact with her.

“When are we headin’ out?” Jane called behind her.

“Half hour,” Austin yelled back. He still didn’t look back to her.

“You know I’ve seen your dick before, right?” Jane shouted again, this time with a smile on her face.

When Austin’s face whipped around to look at her, his cheeks presented a red hue. “Shut the hell up, Molloy.”

Jane erupted in laughter and shook her head, continuing her entrance into the large bus that had been rented to them for the tour. “Jesus,” she whispered to herself as her eyes scanned their new home. She spotted Rob on the couch and smiled, noting how exhausted he looked already, then dragged her bags down the narrow hallway that led to the bunks that lined the walls. Jane spotted Rob’s bag on a back bunk, and she swung her duffle bag on the bunk on top.

Lyla looked to be getting set up in a bunk in the front section, and Jane smiled as she walked back towards Rob on the couch, plopping down next to him and kissing him forcefully. “Sorry,” she whispered, but her tone betrayed her words. “You weren’t kidding about the lack of privacy.” Her eyes looked around the bus once again, then they landed back onto his. “We’re gonna have to figure out something before the set tonight.” She kissed his his cheek softly before standing up and heading over to the fridge to grab a beer. “We’re also gonna need to figure out a way to stay awake ‘til then. I doubt Andy got his stash through airport security.”

Once she took her first swig of beer, Jane sat back down in Rob’s lap and sighed as her body went limp in his arms. Part of her hated how much she wanted to be touched by him constantly, platonically or not. Her whole life, Jane could get by on high fives and sex with nothing in between and be satisfied, but now, even something as simple as his arms wrapped around her or his hand on her leg sent chills down her spine, which, she felt, was contradicting the agreement they came to. How were things supposed to be casual if just the label itself was making her want to be around him more and more? Well, she knew that if she decided to be physically intimate with someone else, it wouldn’t be like what her and Rob had. It couldn’t be.

Austin and Sam stumbled on to the bus immediately before Grant announced that they would be leaving for the venue. Jane sighed at the news, but politely nodded to the driver before lifting herself off of Rob. “I guess I’ll go get ready, then, yeah?”

Jane moved to the back of the bus and crawled onto the top bunk. Being in such a small space with everyone would definitely take some getting used to, and she was reminded of that when her hands thumped the ceiling above her when she attempted to take off her shirt, causing a groan. In a hurried manner, she quickly put on a large black tee shirt, but opted to keep her jean shorts on to avoid the hassle of attempting to get them off.

Once dressed, she laid down in the bed and sighed. Her mind wouldn’t stop wandering to Rob, how things were going to be in Europe, when he would sleep with Zoe… It was all so frustrating and great at the same time, her and Rob, which was nothing new. But, it was getting harder and harder to hide her attachment and growing feelings for him. It was even harder to not be sure if he felt the same.

[18+] [Ophelia x megatrash]

The next morning...

Caleb awoke abruptly to the sound of Lola's phone ringing in his dresser. Without opening his eyes, he stood up and hobbled over to the drawer to silence it, then quickly slid back into bed to shield his nude body from the AC that was blasting through the vents. His arms wrapped around the form next to him, and he sighed when he got comfortable.

The realization of who he was spooning took a minute to settle in, but once it did, his eyes shot open and his arm lifted the sheet a bit to confirm his suspicions. Yep. It was Lola. Also undressed. In his bed.

"Shit," he whispered as he removed his body from her and rolled on to his back, rubbing his face in frustration. He knew he has issues when it came to self control, but this may have been a new low for even him: sleeping with the young girl he kidnapped who's ex boyfriend is in the rival gang that is threatening them. Not only that, but Lola was a much better person than Caleb or the situation that he put her in.

But there she laid next to him. And although every sign in Caleb's head was pointing the opposite direction, he couldn't help but roll himself back over to her and wrapped his tattooed arms around her. When he got comfortable, he kissed the back of her neck that sat directly in front of his face, breathing in deeply as he did.

He would have to be the asshole when they were both awake. He'd have to tell Lola that they couldn't do this again and that it was his fault for letting it go too far. But, for now, what happened happened, and he could let himself enjoy it before reality kicked in.

His memories were a bit blurry from the night before, but each inhale he took gave him bits and pieces of what they had done together.