A groaned escaped her lips as Jane’s eyes began to involuntarily flutter open, and as she became conscious, her senses felt the cool sheets that had taken Rob’s place. The night before had been enjoyable – after Rob had joined her in the bunk, they spoke for a bit, but Jane could sense his exhaustion, so instead of trying anything, she let him fall asleep in his usual big spoon position.
Well, that wasn’t the only reason she didn’t try anything.
Although Rob had explained that Jane’s sexuality was just a scapegoat he used for his frustration during their time at the hotel, his words still sat in the back of her mind. It had never been an issue before with any other person – Jane’s libido – but now that it had been brought up by the person she cared for the most, it made her worried. Especially now with Rob’s frequent absence.
Jane rubbed her eyes before grabbing her phone to be greeted by a text from Zoe saying she was okay with meeting up for lunch. It was relieving, honestly, because she wasn’t sure what her reaction would be. Jane didn’t know Zoe at
all really, besides what Andy and Rob had mentioned.
Jane, 8:29 AM: Sounds good. Let’s say an hour after we get to Kiev?After lying in bed silently for a few more minutes, Jane finally forced herself up and put on a pair of shorts, then made her way to the front of the bus to see Rob on the couch. She smiled, sitting down and curling up next to him. “I’m meeting up with Zoe later,” she began, her voice breaking into a whisper from the strain she put on her vocal cords. “I can’t take the weird vibe between us anymore.”
Jane rubbed the arm she leaned on briefly before standing up and walking over to Grant. “I
definitely can’t smoke a cigarette in here, right?”
Grant shook his head. “No.”
“Okay,” Jane sighed. “Well, how much longer ‘til we get there?”
“Three and a half hours. I just told your boyfriend.”
The words sent a wave of adrenaline through her body. Boyfriend? Jane had never used that word to describe Rob. Never even really thought about it. In all honesty, he kind of was her boyfriend. Her boyfriend who slept with other women while she slept with other people too. It just felt strange hear someone refer to Rob as anything other than, well… Rob. And her reaction made her feel like a child, so she swallowed and nodded, moving now to the fridge to grab a water bottle.
Everyone in the bus was still asleep by the looks of it, causing Jane to playfully raise an eyebrow.
”Stop it. Rob said he didn’t like that you only wanted to be physically intimate with him.”She paused for a moment, toying with the idea, before giving in to her own desires and crawling back up to Rob on the couch. “Hey,” she spoke quietly as she began to kiss his neck, then, she moved to his ear, choosing to whisper her desires to him rather than say them aloud due to their nature. Jane rarely ever spoke in a graphic way in regards to intimacy with Rob, but something about having to suppress herself was only making her sensual side more apparent.
She pulled away and looked at him with a smirk before dragging him up to his feet and towards the back of the bus.
*****
They had finally arrived in Kiev, and before exiting the bus, Jane layered herself in jeans, boots, a large, long sleeve t-shirt, and a beanie. Especially now, without her muscle mass from being physically active, it was a challenge to stay warm. She grabbed her pack of cigarettes and stepped off the bus to see Andy doing the same thing about twenty feet away. A smile tugged at her lips as she waved him over, and together, they walked to the tail of In Bloom’s bus.
“What’s up?” Jane greeted him as she exhaled the smoke from her cigarette.
“Glad to be off the bus. I was about to eat a Newport,” he laughed.
“Ugh, I know.” Jane scratched at her hair through her hat. “I guess I’m having lunch with Zoe. I figured if we’re fucking the same dude, it’d be more fun if we were cool with each other.”
“And, boy, have they been fucking,” Andy laughed.
“Wait,” Jane said abruptly as she turned her body to directly face him. “What do you mean by that?”
Andy cocked his head to the side in curiosity. “I mean, that’s all I hear from the guys. I guess they’ve been going at it, like, every day. Zoe was never like that when she was with me.”
Panic began to settle in, making Jane's stomach knot up. “Rob told me that he didn’t want all my time with him to be only sex. Which, in my mind, sounded like he wanted me to tone it down. But then why would he…” she trailed off as her mind furiously spun all the incomplete thoughts she was having around like a tornado.
Andy frowned. “Jane, I’m sure it’s not like that.” He let his cigarette hang out of his lips as he put both of his hands on her shoulders and massaged them gently.
“Then what is it?” Jane’s voice cracked. “Why am
I trying so hard
not to be all over him just so he could go be with someone else?” She rubbed the bridge of her nose firmly as she took a drag of her cigarette. “I get the arrangement. I do. But I would never turn Rob down just to go sleep with you instead.” Jane winced at her words. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Andy chuckled. “You’re not
madly in love with me.”
Jane punched his arm and sighed. “I gotta calm down before I go eat with Zoe. If I, uh, go to lunch angry, it’s probably not gonna go well, yeah?”
He nodded. “Yeah, probably not. Hey, I think there’s a bar in this strip. Wanna grab a drink before you go?”
“Yeah,” she smirked. “Sounds good.”
*****
In an hour’s time, Jane and Andy had a drink, hooked up in one of the single-occupant bathrooms, smoked a joint, and returned back to the busses. Nothing about it had been romantic, but truly, that wasn’t what Jane wanted at the time. She wanted something aggressive and distracting, and that was what she received. She felt a bit better, but she didn’t want to go back inside the van to see Rob, so she had Andy tell Zoe that she was ready to go.
They said their awkward greetings and entered the cab that she had called for them. The ride to the city was silent between them, mainly due to the fact that the cab driver was blaring some sort of Ukrainian dance mix. At one point, they both looked to each other and laughed, and at that moment, Jane felt a bit relieved. Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad after all.
After placing their lunch orders, Jane took a sip of her beer and straightened her posture before beginning to speak. “Thanks for, uh, agreeing to do this. I think we’ve let this tension between us go on for too long, yeah?”
Jane could already feel herself beginning to choke. Being in front of the woman that could possibly take Rob away from her was extremely intimidating, but she kept on her poker face.
“Excuse my voice, by the way. Went way too hard last night, I guess.” Her voice sounded like shit, squeaking and cracking as if she was a prepubescent boy.
“I don’t expect us to be friends or anything after this. Having the same taste in men might make that difficult, anyway,” Jane chuckled, more nervously than anything. “Look. I know you and Rob have gotten, uh,
close, and I’m not mad about that at all. It’s what we agreed to. Plus, when you’re in love with someone,” Jane froze for a brief second after she realized what she had said.
”Idiot.”Jane couldn’t decide if she should try to cover up with she said, or to continue like it was nothing, and she chose the latter.
“ – And something, or
someone, makes them happy, then I guess you just gotta roll with it.” Her own words were beginning to make her sad. It did seem as though Zoe made him happy. Could be happier around her than Jane herself? Would he allow his feeling to grow beyond the physical realm?
“Anyways. I didn’t see us getting so tangled up in your band like we did, but it happened, and I think if we all got along, it make things a lot better for everyone.” She took another sip of her beer. “I probably don’t have to tell you this, but Rob’s a great guy. The best, really. And I know we’re, like, super different and shit, but I figured you must not be
so bad if he likes spending time with you.” Jane smiled to show she was joking.
Deep inside, the pain she felt was gnawing away at her. Jane could feel the animalistic instinct to protect what was hers and not be so welcoming to Zoe bubbling up inside her, but she wasn’t going to let that happen. Rob would probably be angry, even, if Jane did anything to interrupt whatever was happening. So she swallowed her pride. For now.
“So, that’s my piece.”
*****
Andy knocked on the door of In Bloom’s bus and popped his head in to see Rob sitting on the couch. “Hey, dude. I guess you can say Jane inspired me. Let me know a time, and we’ll grab a drink.” And as quickly as he said it, he disappeared back outside into the cold weather and darted back to his own.
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