Mirandae

I want to do Advanced but...

Having paragraphs as a standard is quite bad, as a paragraph can be just a single sentence or something absurd like a thousands words. In any case, word count should mark the standard, but then people will bitch about quantity versus quality.

All paragraphs have three parts: topic sentence, supporting sentences, and sometimes also concluding sentences (,mostly in academic works). The topic sentence states the main idea of the paragraph. It limits the topic to one specific area that can be discussed completely in the space of a single paragraph—this is also called controlling idea. For example: Gold (topic) is prized for two important characteristics (controlling idea). This would be the first sentence of a paragraph discussing why Gold is prized metal, and its supporting sentences explains or prove the two important characteristics.

What people tend to do is that they break new paragraphs for no particular reason. I noticed the same mistake in your post, but that's alright. From your post, the first paragraph should have been this:

Blair lay on a bed within the Motel 6, she never motels, it's like home to hookers and business men looking for a good time with them. [...] It was on the news and talking about the overcrowded hospitals and then an influenza spreading after Black Friday, Blair then realized that things were going crazy and these days could be the last of mankind.

And the second should have started with this:

Her phone rang and she answered it, "Hello?", then a man's voice was on the line and said, "Confirm your identity." [...] she gone to Google Maps and saw the waypoint, it was nearby her and she ran towards the waypoint.

In a nutshell, a paragraph should entail things related to a single idea, and when that idea has been discussed, you move on to the next paragraph no matter how long or short your first paragraph was!

The Spirits Within

That kind of music feels like you have to be extremely good looking and cool in order to be allowed to listen to it. I don't really qualify, so I guess Lana del Rey isn't my thing.

Thank you, Rockette, for that wonderful banner of Sam! I've added it to the character depository, right at the top.

The Spirits Within

This might be something for you, six. Found it via this.

The Spirits Within

Don't be lazy. I'll hunt you down and beat you with a stick.

...no I won't, I'm too nice for that.

I'll kill you with hugs.

What grinds my gears...? USER FRIENDLY, MAY CONTAIN STRONG LAUNGUAGE.

People who flaunt their success and mistake experience for talent, especially when it concerns insignificant things such as roleplaying on the Internet.

The Spirits Within

Posted again, but didn't advance the story, as I know some of you are working on collaborations and others have yet to post. On a semi-related note: don't be afraid to make short posts, as every post does not have to be a novel.

There was something else I was going to say, but it slipped my mind... hmm, I'll edit this when I remember what it was.

The Spirits Within

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The Boat

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Olivia’s slumber had taken her for quite a ride; in and out of strange dreams and the reality in which she currently existed on the boat, which shuffled her body about without mercy. The earlier, unsettling conversation with Emily did not bode well with Olivia, adding to her already intense stress levels, which in turn unleashed their fury when the dark haired girl attempted to sleep. In her dream, for nine times the space that measured day and night, Olivia traversed a vast unknown. Across endless plains of tar, brightly ablaze, she trod in agony. Over jagged mountains of ebony clad with the bones of lost wanderers, beneath black oceans where appalling creatures dwelled and grasped her feet, through bedlamic storms which tore her clothing, and chilling winds that struck her with illness, she wandered aimlessly. Day and night she cursed the beings beyond her comprehension, asking why she had to suffer this immeasurable pain. Olivia’s words were unheeded by the Empyreal, though, not unheard. From the depths of the murky waters rose a gigantic creature with slender tentacles, myriad of arachnid eyes, and a disproportionate mouth filled with jagged teeth. Olivia gasped in fear and thus spake:

*

“What are you?!”
“Crave for ardency from the creator of all things do you, young one?—Foolish, however admirable considering your predicament which vacillate your existence. Why are you here, tiny one? To what manner of end could possibly entice you to traverse these horrid planes?” The creature spoke.
“…What? What are you talking about? Where am I?!” Olivia shouted.
“Are you lost, tiny one? You are lost, tiny one. I can show you the path which from darkness leads up to light, to your former glory besides the maker.”
“My former glory?—what are you talking about?”
“Ignorance and forgetfulness stricken your mind, I see—a bastille of ethereal properties he created within which your body to imprison. Yes! Yes! Trapped you are, young one,” The creature grinned.
“You don’t make any sense, foul creature… go away!”
“Then you shall not know the path, tiny one. Never shall you leave this place of neither darkness nor light. Never shall you know another soul of your kind again. Never shall you know the end of your journey, and it shall drive you mad. Not like him, the great one, who embraced his destiny by our side to conquer that which cannot be conquered.”
“…who are you talking about?”
“The harbinger, young one, tiny one; the one who shall set us free from this eternal repetition.”
“Wha—…”

An incidental wave caused the boat to rock and interrupt Olivia’s dream. Her memory of the strange conversation with the horrid creature was hazy, not to mention incomprehensible. It was undeniable, Olivia could not think of any other person than Sam as the individual the creature had spoken of. But how could it be him? It was impossible; Samuel Valentine was dead, had been for many years, and nothing could ever bring him back to life. This is what Olivia convinced herself of, basking in her ignorance.

Moments Later…

Olivia felt nauseous when she heard the potential menu of the evening: beans and spaghetti, not to mention whatever it was that Kim attempted to eat. All due respect to his grandparents, but a ‘jumbled mess’ was not exactly what Olivia needed right now. “I could really go for a steak right now, with potatoes and gravy,” she said and sighed. “You guys eat something; I think I’ll have a word with the Captain,” Olivia said and exited the tiny mess hall. A spiral ladder just around the corner of the mess led up to the bridge. As it was quite a bantam ship, it only had four crew: the Captain, his first mate, and two deckhands. The Captain was currently alone at the bridge, reading a book while the vessel was running on course.

“Captain? If I may…” Olivia inquired. The man was a senior, a war veteran.
“Certainly, what’s on your mind, soldier?”
“What’s our current ETA?”
“The currents seem to favor our direction; we’ll be in Norton thirty minutes earlier than expected.”
“That’s excellent news. Is there anything we can do?”
“From what I’ve gathered, you people are Guardians, correct?”
“Yes, sir, that’s correct.”
“Well, if any of you are connected to water spirits, I assume that it could hasten our travels.”
“Yes, sir, one of us is. I’ll put her to work right away, sir.”
“Outstanding, soldier,” the Captain finished and dismissed Olivia.

Olivia exited the bridge and made her away to the stern, the night sky and stars above her head; the fantastic rumble of splashing water sporadically tumbling around beneath her feet. She pulled out her phone and texted Kat: Meet me at the stern, by the propellers. /Olivia.

The Spirits Within

Re-added the Plot hider to the OOC-text, under Story. It doesn't spoil too much and you can use it to plan posts/collabs.

At the moment, the hider contains information about the first part of the visit to Norton City.

The Spirits Within

Liam seems like a good candidate to me.

Rockette said
Edit: I updated Mag's profile with her attributes, encase they were missed, and conceptual photos of what I think Chaos would look like, and what she looks like when using it also some of her spirits. Updated the images of her weapons and appearances as well. Included her theme that I never shared. dxSecond-edit: I'm thinking of updating some status effects to one of her spirits or maybe a couple. I'll message you, Prisk, about them when you're feeling better.

Those are some wonderful pictures. You'll have plenty of ideas from which to draw during a particular aspect of part 2 of the story.

The Spirits Within

I had an idea: maybe we could arrange an extra nice banner for Samuel, as well, if you guys want to and if Rockette is up for it. You would then have to agree, as a group, on someone to portray a grown up Samuel. The banner would not serve any other purpose other than to strengthen the glorification and idealization of this man.

It's your call, so you decide.