@Ex, such work! Much appreciated!
@Insi, we understand completely! School and such things before everything else!
I took the time to write some comments for everyone, again. I still feel like itās something that all GMs should do throughout their roleplay, so I will keep doing it until the day that we part ways. Besides, I have to show my appreciation for you guysā devotion somehow. Itās quite fantastic that nobody has dropped out yet.
ExI believe Emilyās development is progressing nicely. The contrast between her voicing her concerns to Olivia (on the road) and then to Thael (in doral) was/is compelling to me and hopefully likewise to other readers. It will be interesting to see how she reacts to coming events, of similar nature, right around the corner. Moreover, something that Iāve yearned for is some form of clash between Emily and Magdalena. Not necessarily a confrontational encounter, but an encounter nonetheless, pertaining to the nature of their spirits. Both of them seem to be associated with āthe Chaosā within or around them, whatever it may be or however you wish to translate it.
JJ DoeThe Appleberry sub-plot is phenomenal. Not only is it terrific in the sense that you play off of the information that Iāve written, but also because what you are writing makes perfect sense with what Iāve planned for the story, even if you donāt know what that is! I suppose you could somewhat guess how things will play out as the story is not
that complex, but youāre doing a great job here nonetheless. Kimās hallucinations work equally well with what Iāve got planned for the story, and Iām confident that all of it will make perfect sense as the story begins to unravel (which isnāt far away now!). Lastly, the model you found and are using for Kim was excellentāitās easy for me to picture him in my head when I read your posts.
InsatiableI hope that weāll see more of Jyn once you have completed your studies. I enjoyed the interactions between her and Olivia at the beginning of the roleplay and look forward to doing more of that! Perhaps we could do some flashback work together, from academy times? Judging by the vibe from Jyn so far, it seems to be someone that Olivia would spend private time with.
TenishCillian Murphy was the better Remi, even if it was short-lived. If the Spirts Within was a TV show, Iād be one of those people that would go onto the Internet and some forum to complain about the actor change. Anyway, Remi is a great character concept and I like him a lot. Weāve already spoken through private messages about his development and so forth, so there isnāt much to be said here. However, the āinterestā between Remi and Emily was unexpected to say the least! I didnāt see that one coming, so it was intriguing to read.
RocketteThe graphics that youāve provided for this roleplay are amazing, and Iām never going to stop saying that. Anyway, Iāve noticed a gradual change in your prose from the Oh heavenly Spirit of Oreb and of Sinai-lofty language to something a bit more clear and concise, which is greatākeep it up. Moreover, Iām quite enchanted by the Julian-subplot and Kimberlyās involvement, and all that there. Every time you post, I find myself wanting more and more, so I canāt wait to see where it goes⦠you know,
how,
why, etc.
BlackwellWe miss you and we want to see more of Kat! We are going to do that collaboration on the boat, between Kat and Olivia. I donāt care how long it takes, weāre doing it. I will literally keep that pad open in my browser for the whole year if I have to!
SixsmithI think most of us felt something when we read your flashback-heavy post about Royās family and the funeral in Helston. The post added a dimension to the character that I didnāt expect, but knew was quite possible. However, I still havenāt been able to place Roy in a proper folder that tells me who he is and what he is about, perhaps I never will and perhaps thatās the charm, but either way it makes me want to read more about him. If you keep this up, it feels as if Roy is going to have a great character arc. It feels as if he is already starting to change from what he was at the beginning of the story compared to where and what he is now. Hopefully, he will be at peace and find himself by the end of the story!
OzerathI enjoy the leadership struggle between Thael and Olivia, even if we havenāt developed it much, but we will. Thael is going to have to put his leadership skills to use soon enough, one way or another, and Iād like for him and Olivia to clash at some point, violently if necessary. I also enjoy the subplot about Thaelās brothers and I look forward to reading more about it! It might be something that we can work with, more extensively, once the main gist of the story has been revealed (which isnāt far away).
AdoraI suppose that I expected it at some point, but I was surprised at Freddyās moment of humility in Doral nonetheless. I think that it would make for some interesting interaction and drama if Olivia did find out about what Freddy and Aaron did in Doral, and it would give Freddy a chance to truly show another side to himself other than that loud, tough exterior. Speaking of loud, ever since you found that picture for Freddy, I canāt help but to think of
this when Freddy is talking and screaming! Iām terrible, I know, and perhaps I shouldnāt associate Freddy with that, but itās just⦠I canāt get it out of my head now!
ArchangelI enjoy Aaronās impulsiveness, which I suppose is an effect of his anger. I also enjoy that trope (if it is a trope) in which a character fervently attempts to protect loved ones, but ends up hurting them more than anything else because of some flaw (anger in Aaronās case) or simply because of bad luck. Moreover, I canāt say that Iām a fan of romance plots, in fact, I usually despise them, but I have to admit that the interaction between Aaron and Olivia is interesting, partially due to Oliviaās apparent issues with obsession, and how Aaron reacts to being mistaken for or compared to Samuel. Weāre definitely going to build on this further and hopefully reach a satisfying conclusion by the end of part two.