"Hm, actually that's a good idea. I've been wondering that for a while." Janius said in a more casual tone, before parting Kaleeth from his embrace and smiling at her. "As for swimming afterwards," he raised an eyebrow and looked to one side, considering for a moment, then looked to Kaleeth again, "I'd like that." He looked down at Leaps, who seemed to just be content sitting in the sun and sniffing the air. "Come along, Leaps." The hatchling didn't understand Janius' command, but its attention was piqued when Janius nudged it with his toe and they began to walk into the common hut to see Meesei.
Kaleeth and Janius came across Meesei, Sabine and Fendros while Sabine was still writing her letter. Fendros seemed to be quietly helping Sabine, but Meesei didn't look busy. "Meesei, we were wondering..." Janius interrupted himself and raised one hand reassuringly, "Uh, something unrelated to before, it's about Leaps-On-Elves. The wamasu hatchling." Janius squat down and scooped Leaps up in his arms, "You wouldn't happen to know how to discern its sex, do you? If its going to stay in the village, it might determine its behaviour when it grows up. Not to mention, calling it by 'it' as if it's an object is a little strange."
Muttonhawk Member
Let Slip the Corgis of War
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Dear Mr Curly,
I have done little travelling lately because I have been so dreadfully weary. Can it be true as the old Ecclesiastes said; that all things lead to weariness? Surely not. Perhaps the opposite is true: that all nothings lead to weariness. I have a peculiar feeling, Curly, that I am worn out from something I haven't yet done and the more I don't do it, the more exhausted I become. How strange. Could it be something I haven't realised? Perhaps it's something I haven't said? Something I haven't finished! It must be very large and true whatever it is and a lively struggle in the doing but I look forward to it immensely. I know I need it. First, however, I must curl up in my chair and sleep deeply with the duck. Perhaps I'll dream of this thing and wake up refreshed and do it. My fond wishes to you Mr. Curly, and to all Curly Flat.
Yours sleepily,
Vasco Pyjama
xxx
P.S. Not having breakfast can make you weary. That's for sure!
Most Recent Posts
Yay! Movement!
A bit busy today. I probably won't be able to get any more posts in.
Sabine wrote down the letters as Meesei said them and continued on with the letter.
...Meesei the tree minder of the village and the tree minders son Tunchik. In the rityouall the Hist gave me vishons of three memorees and Meesei was there to help.
"Of course." Janius said, slowly nodding in understanding to Kaleeth, "Meesei will probably want to leave as soon as possible, but I can convince her to stay until later tomorrow, I think. You take all the time you need to. I'll wait for you." Janius brought Kaleeth close and wrapped his arms around her. He wished he wasn't so torn up about it as she was, but he tried not to show it. "In the meantime, we still have the rest of today. What do you feel like doing?"
At this point, Fendros walked past Sabine and Meesei on his way to pick up some thread and a sewing needle to fix a hole in his leggings when he looked over Sabine's shoulder. What he saw made him stop and squint his eyes, trying to read the strange writing. Closer inspection revealed that it was simply incorrect spelling. Sabine must have missed out on learning to properly write and spell. Well, living with the pack, it was no wonder really. If you wanted to learn, you had to ask and practice on your own. It made Fendros think that his child would have to be taught as such eventually. Right now though, it looked like Sabine needed some help. He knelt down beside her and gave her a friendly smile. "Do you need some help writing your letter, Sabine? I can advise you with the spelling at least."
Sabine stopped writing and glanced up at Fendros. Looking over her work so far seemed to lower her spirits as she noticed all of her mistakes. Under normal circumstances, she would run and hide, but she really wanted to get this letter done. Ignoring it wouldn't help at all. She nodded to Fendros and they set about correcting the letter. In took about an hour and a half to get a letter down that Sabine was satisfied with. It was covered in strikethroughs and corrections, little margin notes and large spatters of accidental droplets of ink, but it was legible enough.
Dear Ariel, my sister.
I am writing from an Argonian village several weeks west of Thorn. Fendros is helping me because I am not very good at writing, but I will practice so I can write to you better.
Today I experienced the ritual to bond with the Hist. You will be pleased to hear that it has helped me a great deal. There were difficult trials to prove myself, but with the help of Meesei, the Treeminder Thorantilth, and Thorantilth's son, Tunshik, I was able to overcome them. The Hist showed me some old memories that had hurt during my life, and where I had made choices that I regretted. I was allowed to make those choices again, differently this time, and the Hist showed me how the choices changed my life and helped me feel better about them. The new choices didn't happen in real life, but I still learned the lessons.
One of the memories had you in it. Do you remember when I was little and I spilled void salts on the floor? Sister Freida was very cross. I think she is dead now, I didn't see her in the coven, but I remember that you stood up for me and protected me. You did that for me a lot in the coven. Thank you. Anyway, in that memory, the Hist let me stand up for myself so I could be just as strong as you. The Hist showed me that I got the nettle and I had to clean the laboratory, but I was okay. I did cry, but I wasn't so scared of the punishment anymore.
The other two memories didn't have you in them. I might tell you about them in other letters, but they helped just as much. The Hist took away my fear and pain, and I feel so good. I can breath properly now, I had forgotten what that had felt like. The day is brighter. I can talk to people without feeling scared about what they will say back. I still need practice, but it has made many things easier. I even asked Ahnasha if I could use her ink and canvas to write this letter and she didn't mind at all!
Everyone in the pack is well, more or less. Ahnasha is so big now that she is having trouble moving. Everyone says her cub will be born soon, so we are going to Stormhold to find someone to help with that. I hope it doesn't hurt her too much. She has been painting more and more, making Fendros do silly poses, but they have been happy. Meesei and Lorag have been helping me with the ritual mostly. Meesei has been a comfort and a guide, while Lorag taught me a little bit about fighting for one of the trials. Janius has met an Argonian woman, Kaleeth-Rei, and I think they are in love, which is strange because I haven't seen Janius like this before. They are both sad because they can't stay together unless Kaleeth joins us. I think Janius needs to stop trying to sleep with women if he doesn't want this kind of thing to happen.
I wish I could speak to you again, because the last time I was very nervous and we didn't get to talk much. I noticed that you tried though, thank you. I hope that your shop is going well. I hope that you are well, as well as the innkeepers and the woman at the clothing shop. Say hello to them for me. Perhaps next time I send a letter I could tell you where we are going next so that you might reply.
Until next time, good health.
Love Sabine
"...How's that?" Fendros asked. Writing the letter had taken a lot of time. Some of what Sabine had to say made Fendros laugh at bit, but it was honest and heartfelt.
Sabine nodded affirmatively, "Thank you for helping."
Fendros smiled, and pat Sabine on the back, "Any time. I can teach you more about reading and writing when we have spare moments if you like." With that, Fendros got up again to find a spot to repair his leggings, "Remember to keep that out of the mud and rain until we get to Stormhold."
Sabine took the letter in both hands and held it up in front of her. She was amazed that she was able to get so much writing onto the canvas, even more so that she had so much to say. She glanced at Meesei, then leaned over to hand the letter to her. "Do you think Ariel will like it?"
...Meesei the tree minder of the village and the tree minders son Tunchik. In the rityouall the Hist gave me vishons of three memorees and Meesei was there to help.
"Of course." Janius said, slowly nodding in understanding to Kaleeth, "Meesei will probably want to leave as soon as possible, but I can convince her to stay until later tomorrow, I think. You take all the time you need to. I'll wait for you." Janius brought Kaleeth close and wrapped his arms around her. He wished he wasn't so torn up about it as she was, but he tried not to show it. "In the meantime, we still have the rest of today. What do you feel like doing?"
At this point, Fendros walked past Sabine and Meesei on his way to pick up some thread and a sewing needle to fix a hole in his leggings when he looked over Sabine's shoulder. What he saw made him stop and squint his eyes, trying to read the strange writing. Closer inspection revealed that it was simply incorrect spelling. Sabine must have missed out on learning to properly write and spell. Well, living with the pack, it was no wonder really. If you wanted to learn, you had to ask and practice on your own. It made Fendros think that his child would have to be taught as such eventually. Right now though, it looked like Sabine needed some help. He knelt down beside her and gave her a friendly smile. "Do you need some help writing your letter, Sabine? I can advise you with the spelling at least."
Sabine stopped writing and glanced up at Fendros. Looking over her work so far seemed to lower her spirits as she noticed all of her mistakes. Under normal circumstances, she would run and hide, but she really wanted to get this letter done. Ignoring it wouldn't help at all. She nodded to Fendros and they set about correcting the letter. In took about an hour and a half to get a letter down that Sabine was satisfied with. It was covered in strikethroughs and corrections, little margin notes and large spatters of accidental droplets of ink, but it was legible enough.
Dear Ariel, my sister.
I am writing from an Argonian village several weeks west of Thorn. Fendros is helping me because I am not very good at writing, but I will practice so I can write to you better.
Today I experienced the ritual to bond with the Hist. You will be pleased to hear that it has helped me a great deal. There were difficult trials to prove myself, but with the help of Meesei, the Treeminder Thorantilth, and Thorantilth's son, Tunshik, I was able to overcome them. The Hist showed me some old memories that had hurt during my life, and where I had made choices that I regretted. I was allowed to make those choices again, differently this time, and the Hist showed me how the choices changed my life and helped me feel better about them. The new choices didn't happen in real life, but I still learned the lessons.
One of the memories had you in it. Do you remember when I was little and I spilled void salts on the floor? Sister Freida was very cross. I think she is dead now, I didn't see her in the coven, but I remember that you stood up for me and protected me. You did that for me a lot in the coven. Thank you. Anyway, in that memory, the Hist let me stand up for myself so I could be just as strong as you. The Hist showed me that I got the nettle and I had to clean the laboratory, but I was okay. I did cry, but I wasn't so scared of the punishment anymore.
The other two memories didn't have you in them. I might tell you about them in other letters, but they helped just as much. The Hist took away my fear and pain, and I feel so good. I can breath properly now, I had forgotten what that had felt like. The day is brighter. I can talk to people without feeling scared about what they will say back. I still need practice, but it has made many things easier. I even asked Ahnasha if I could use her ink and canvas to write this letter and she didn't mind at all!
Everyone in the pack is well, more or less. Ahnasha is so big now that she is having trouble moving. Everyone says her cub will be born soon, so we are going to Stormhold to find someone to help with that. I hope it doesn't hurt her too much. She has been painting more and more, making Fendros do silly poses, but they have been happy. Meesei and Lorag have been helping me with the ritual mostly. Meesei has been a comfort and a guide, while Lorag taught me a little bit about fighting for one of the trials. Janius has met an Argonian woman, Kaleeth-Rei, and I think they are in love, which is strange because I haven't seen Janius like this before. They are both sad because they can't stay together unless Kaleeth joins us. I think Janius needs to stop trying to sleep with women if he doesn't want this kind of thing to happen.
I wish I could speak to you again, because the last time I was very nervous and we didn't get to talk much. I noticed that you tried though, thank you. I hope that your shop is going well. I hope that you are well, as well as the innkeepers and the woman at the clothing shop. Say hello to them for me. Perhaps next time I send a letter I could tell you where we are going next so that you might reply.
Until next time, good health.
Love Sabine
"...How's that?" Fendros asked. Writing the letter had taken a lot of time. Some of what Sabine had to say made Fendros laugh at bit, but it was honest and heartfelt.
Sabine nodded affirmatively, "Thank you for helping."
Fendros smiled, and pat Sabine on the back, "Any time. I can teach you more about reading and writing when we have spare moments if you like." With that, Fendros got up again to find a spot to repair his leggings, "Remember to keep that out of the mud and rain until we get to Stormhold."
Sabine took the letter in both hands and held it up in front of her. She was amazed that she was able to get so much writing onto the canvas, even more so that she had so much to say. She glanced at Meesei, then leaned over to hand the letter to her. "Do you think Ariel will like it?"
"Thank you," Sabine said to Ahnasha, clasping on hand in the other. That really was easy.
Janius was still smiling when he responded to Kaleeth. "Oh you have no idea. This is probably the most she's spoken all week. Not to mention, I've known her for about two years now. I've never seen her in such a good mood. Well, good moods, yes, but...never so lively." Janius weaved the fingers of one hand with Kaleeth's, not wanting her to feel left out. "Sabine has been through a lot of pain. The events that...gave her the condition were not something any young girl should live through. I'm glad the ritual has helped her too."
When they reached the common hut, Sabine collected some writing equipment from Ahnasha and found herself a spot to begin. She wasn't very good at writing, but she would do her best. Everyone seemed to disperse to return to their own business, but Meesei sat down by Sabine while she wrote. Sabine found it curious to have the company for such an activity, but she didn't object. Meesei was the last person who would make her nervous about being watched, never mind whether that would be a problem for her anymore.
Sabine leaned in close to the sheet of canvas and began to slowly scratch Cyrodilic script.
Deer Ariel my sister
Tooday I ecspirienst the rityouall to bund with the Hist. There were tryalls to proov that I was worthie and they were very hard but I had help from
Sabine paused. In her excitement, she had not planned her writing that far ahead. Not that she had much practice, as was evident in her spelling, grammar and childish handwriting. She looked up at Meesei. It was convenient that she was there for this question. "Meesei, how do you spell your name?"
Janius stood at the door of the common hut with Kaleeth for a moment, watching Sabine getting settled in. When everyone left, he decided to face Kaleeth and take both her hands in his. He hated to end the high spirits, but now that they had a moment he wanted to ask Kaleeth about the future. "So, have you had any more thoughts on your decision? Did talking to people help?" Janius spoke quietly and with a concerned expression. It still may have been too early to ask, but not knowing was still hurting him.
Janius was still smiling when he responded to Kaleeth. "Oh you have no idea. This is probably the most she's spoken all week. Not to mention, I've known her for about two years now. I've never seen her in such a good mood. Well, good moods, yes, but...never so lively." Janius weaved the fingers of one hand with Kaleeth's, not wanting her to feel left out. "Sabine has been through a lot of pain. The events that...gave her the condition were not something any young girl should live through. I'm glad the ritual has helped her too."
When they reached the common hut, Sabine collected some writing equipment from Ahnasha and found herself a spot to begin. She wasn't very good at writing, but she would do her best. Everyone seemed to disperse to return to their own business, but Meesei sat down by Sabine while she wrote. Sabine found it curious to have the company for such an activity, but she didn't object. Meesei was the last person who would make her nervous about being watched, never mind whether that would be a problem for her anymore.
Sabine leaned in close to the sheet of canvas and began to slowly scratch Cyrodilic script.
Deer Ariel my sister
Tooday I ecspirienst the rityouall to bund with the Hist. There were tryalls to proov that I was worthie and they were very hard but I had help from
Sabine paused. In her excitement, she had not planned her writing that far ahead. Not that she had much practice, as was evident in her spelling, grammar and childish handwriting. She looked up at Meesei. It was convenient that she was there for this question. "Meesei, how do you spell your name?"
Janius stood at the door of the common hut with Kaleeth for a moment, watching Sabine getting settled in. When everyone left, he decided to face Kaleeth and take both her hands in his. He hated to end the high spirits, but now that they had a moment he wanted to ask Kaleeth about the future. "So, have you had any more thoughts on your decision? Did talking to people help?" Janius spoke quietly and with a concerned expression. It still may have been too early to ask, but not knowing was still hurting him.
Meesei's question made Sabine pause to think. Her smile lowered slightly. What did she want to do now? There was so much to choose from. In her excited state she found the array of options overwhelming. After sparing a moment standing amongst everyone gathered, one thought came to mind that caused her to look up again with a refreshed smile, "I want to write a letter to Ariel." She said clearly, "We can send it when we reach Stormhold, but I want to write it now."
Before starting to walk to the common hut to find writing supplies, Sabine looked over her shoulder to the Hist tree. She couldn't hear the voices anymore, but she was grateful for their help. Thank you, she thought, before looking forward and moving. People parted to let her through.
Fendros offered a "Well done, Sabine," and ruffled her hair as she passed, then glanced to Ahnasha next to him. "I'm amazed."
The group walked behind her a ways. Tunxeek stepped up to walk beside her and looked at her with a smile. "I don't know what the Hist showed you exactly, but I knew they would help. You are a nice person. You deserved their help."
Sabine stopped and suddenly gave Tunxeek a tight hug as well. Sabine was smiling still. It was not something Tunxeek expected after her previous responses to physical touch. However, Tunxeek had his mouth open and barely managed to wheeze, let alone return the hug with his arms clamped to his sides by Sabine's embrace. "Sa...bine. Can't...breath. Can't...breath!"
Sabine's eyes widened in realisation and she let Tunxeek go and held onto his shoulders. "You helped too. Thank you." Sabine said, before letting go and continuing to walk.
Tunxeek rubbed one arm in a little pain, but chuckled in return. "It was nothing."
In her racing thoughts, Sabine had to stop again with another realisation. She turned to Ahnasha, her eyes still sparkling and asked her hopefully. "Ahnasha, can I use your ink and a canvas to write a letter?" Sabine's tone was careful, but not out of fear, rather out of exploring the act of asking simple questions. She actively avoided doing such things beforehand. It was funny how much easier it was than she thought it would be.
Before starting to walk to the common hut to find writing supplies, Sabine looked over her shoulder to the Hist tree. She couldn't hear the voices anymore, but she was grateful for their help. Thank you, she thought, before looking forward and moving. People parted to let her through.
Fendros offered a "Well done, Sabine," and ruffled her hair as she passed, then glanced to Ahnasha next to him. "I'm amazed."
The group walked behind her a ways. Tunxeek stepped up to walk beside her and looked at her with a smile. "I don't know what the Hist showed you exactly, but I knew they would help. You are a nice person. You deserved their help."
Sabine stopped and suddenly gave Tunxeek a tight hug as well. Sabine was smiling still. It was not something Tunxeek expected after her previous responses to physical touch. However, Tunxeek had his mouth open and barely managed to wheeze, let alone return the hug with his arms clamped to his sides by Sabine's embrace. "Sa...bine. Can't...breath. Can't...breath!"
Sabine's eyes widened in realisation and she let Tunxeek go and held onto his shoulders. "You helped too. Thank you." Sabine said, before letting go and continuing to walk.
Tunxeek rubbed one arm in a little pain, but chuckled in return. "It was nothing."
In her racing thoughts, Sabine had to stop again with another realisation. She turned to Ahnasha, her eyes still sparkling and asked her hopefully. "Ahnasha, can I use your ink and a canvas to write a letter?" Sabine's tone was careful, but not out of fear, rather out of exploring the act of asking simple questions. She actively avoided doing such things beforehand. It was funny how much easier it was than she thought it would be.
Sabine returned the embrace and squeezed Meesei as hard as she could. She laughed a couple more times and sniffed at Meesei's words. "They are still there, but..." Sabine shut her eyes started to shed tears of happiness, "They don't hurt anymore. I'm not afraid. I feel free." They rocked each other back and forth for a long time, then pulled away.
Next, Sabine carefully stood up, then threw her arms around Thorantilth, squeezing him just as tightly and probably more than he was able to breathe with. "Thank you, Treeminder," Sabine said, pressing her head into his chest. Thankfully for Thorantilth, Sabine released him well before he suffocated, but she turned around and presented her vibrant smile to everyone watching. The air seemed to fresh, everything seemed so... possible now.
One by one, Janius, Fendros, Tunxeek, everyone returned her smile. It had been tense to watch them almost lifeless on the ground for so long, but whatever the Hist had shown them, it was what Sabine needed. She was up and active, no longer curled up in her shell. The change seemed sudden from their perspectives, but they had not witnessed what Sabine and Meesei had. They might never know. One thing was certain, Sabine was changed.
Janius had his arm over Kaleeth's shoulder, appreciating her reassurance during the ritual, but now that it was over he was the first to call out to them. "What's on your mind, Runt?"
Sabine's smile opened into a grin. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted back to Janius, louder than she had ever shouted in years. "My name is Sabine!"
Even though he was taken aback by her response, Janius' look of surprise quickly reformed into a grin and he laughed heartily. He beckoned Meesei and Sabine to come to the allowed boundary of the Hist tree. "Come here."
Next, Sabine carefully stood up, then threw her arms around Thorantilth, squeezing him just as tightly and probably more than he was able to breathe with. "Thank you, Treeminder," Sabine said, pressing her head into his chest. Thankfully for Thorantilth, Sabine released him well before he suffocated, but she turned around and presented her vibrant smile to everyone watching. The air seemed to fresh, everything seemed so... possible now.
One by one, Janius, Fendros, Tunxeek, everyone returned her smile. It had been tense to watch them almost lifeless on the ground for so long, but whatever the Hist had shown them, it was what Sabine needed. She was up and active, no longer curled up in her shell. The change seemed sudden from their perspectives, but they had not witnessed what Sabine and Meesei had. They might never know. One thing was certain, Sabine was changed.
Janius had his arm over Kaleeth's shoulder, appreciating her reassurance during the ritual, but now that it was over he was the first to call out to them. "What's on your mind, Runt?"
Sabine's smile opened into a grin. She cupped her hands around her mouth and shouted back to Janius, louder than she had ever shouted in years. "My name is Sabine!"
Even though he was taken aback by her response, Janius' look of surprise quickly reformed into a grin and he laughed heartily. He beckoned Meesei and Sabine to come to the allowed boundary of the Hist tree. "Come here."
Where she sat, Sabine slowly peeked her eyes out from under her cloak at present Meesei. At first, she had seen the talks as pestering. These talks with Meesei in the past only seemed to remind her of her memories. Yes, they were painful, but Sabine came to understand that Meesei only did this because she cared. She only wanted to help. However, Sabine had kept those memories bottled up. Each and every single time Meesei got up and left from one of her attempts at talking with her, there would always be a part of Sabine that wished that she could heal herself and be rid of the horrible memories, and that Meesei could understand her plight.
There was a new motive that came through in this scene that the Hist sung agreement to. In the first decision, she learned that she could be strong enough to take the repercussions of her actions. In the second decision, she learned that she could not continue to be afraid of horrible things happening if they were already beyond her control. Here, she could do something that would be hard, but was something she should have done now, rather than leave for so long. There was only one thing to start the healing process that she could think of.
The Hist resumed the scene without prompt. Sabine looked into the eyes past Meesei and poked her head completely out of the cloak. "My name..." Her voice was croaky and quiet, and shook with a resisting sadness, "...is...Sabine...Montgrave." Her jaw quivered as she continued, "I am from Vos...on Vvardenfell. I am from a witches coven, but I ran away, because..." She started to blink rapidly, and this time tears began to run down her face, "...because my sister put me in a silver cage after I turned into a werewolf..."
The Hist began to quicken the progression of time without Sabine noticing, and with the time, an outpouring of emotion and pain flowed with the recount of her recent life to Meesei. Past Meesei looked on intently and nodded occasionally in understanding. The time quickened further to show more events in the future. The pack was more understanding and gave support to Sabine where it was needed. Sabine became more open for not fearing her memories so much. She could interact with the pack more socially. Most of all though, she was happy more of the time. There were more and more moments where she did not live in fear of her memories. Apart from the occasional nightmare or trigger, she could live in the pack normally. It was as if the change brought about by talking to Meesei outside of Vos had been given a head start and been more effecting.
The events flew by into months, accelerating exponentially. The voices of the Hist were reaching a crescendo. There were but a few images that Sabine spotted of the village they were in, before there was one last image of her looking into a goblet of Hist sap. Time dilated just enough for a shade of fear and burden to manifest physically and flow out from her eyes in a red cloud and into the sap. Sabine knew that the physical manifestation wasn't real, but its outcome was. The Hist drew out the last of her pain willingly, and her mind was finally vacant, to be filled with a blissful peace.
Then she opened her eyes. The sun was behind a cloud, but the light still hurt her eyes. She slowly sat up and realised by the tears down the sides of her head that she had cried in her sleep. Thorantilth and the Hist tree still stood before them. The last whispers of the Hist subsided. Sabine was back in reality. She slowly took a deeper breath than she ever thought possible, and released it just as slowly. About halfway through her exhale, she released the rest of her breath in one singular laugh, one that brought a widest grin to her face. That vacancy in her mind. The peace had remained. She was lost for words.
There was a new motive that came through in this scene that the Hist sung agreement to. In the first decision, she learned that she could be strong enough to take the repercussions of her actions. In the second decision, she learned that she could not continue to be afraid of horrible things happening if they were already beyond her control. Here, she could do something that would be hard, but was something she should have done now, rather than leave for so long. There was only one thing to start the healing process that she could think of.
The Hist resumed the scene without prompt. Sabine looked into the eyes past Meesei and poked her head completely out of the cloak. "My name..." Her voice was croaky and quiet, and shook with a resisting sadness, "...is...Sabine...Montgrave." Her jaw quivered as she continued, "I am from Vos...on Vvardenfell. I am from a witches coven, but I ran away, because..." She started to blink rapidly, and this time tears began to run down her face, "...because my sister put me in a silver cage after I turned into a werewolf..."
The Hist began to quicken the progression of time without Sabine noticing, and with the time, an outpouring of emotion and pain flowed with the recount of her recent life to Meesei. Past Meesei looked on intently and nodded occasionally in understanding. The time quickened further to show more events in the future. The pack was more understanding and gave support to Sabine where it was needed. Sabine became more open for not fearing her memories so much. She could interact with the pack more socially. Most of all though, she was happy more of the time. There were more and more moments where she did not live in fear of her memories. Apart from the occasional nightmare or trigger, she could live in the pack normally. It was as if the change brought about by talking to Meesei outside of Vos had been given a head start and been more effecting.
The events flew by into months, accelerating exponentially. The voices of the Hist were reaching a crescendo. There were but a few images that Sabine spotted of the village they were in, before there was one last image of her looking into a goblet of Hist sap. Time dilated just enough for a shade of fear and burden to manifest physically and flow out from her eyes in a red cloud and into the sap. Sabine knew that the physical manifestation wasn't real, but its outcome was. The Hist drew out the last of her pain willingly, and her mind was finally vacant, to be filled with a blissful peace.
Then she opened her eyes. The sun was behind a cloud, but the light still hurt her eyes. She slowly sat up and realised by the tears down the sides of her head that she had cried in her sleep. Thorantilth and the Hist tree still stood before them. The last whispers of the Hist subsided. Sabine was back in reality. She slowly took a deeper breath than she ever thought possible, and released it just as slowly. About halfway through her exhale, she released the rest of her breath in one singular laugh, one that brought a widest grin to her face. That vacancy in her mind. The peace had remained. She was lost for words.
On second thoughts, the forth choice I had in mind is actually kind of redundant, so I think I'll drop it. Anyway, it's about a quarter to three in the morning here, so I will conclude the ritual later, methinks. G'night!
Sabine felt lost. There was nothing in this decision. It was genuinely inconsequential at the time. She had not planned on the hostile pack demanding an audience with Hircine. She didn't even know that it was the last daedra heart they had at the time. Still, by simply leaving the heart there, she could save the lives of her sisters at the coven. She wouldn't have to feel guilty for their lives, she wouldn't have to suffer in a cage, she wouldn't have to have Ariel banished in sneaking her off of Vvardenfell. At the same time, she would never meet the pack. She would never find Meesei, someone closer to a mother than she had ever had. It was not simple at all. She took several moments to weigh up her decision.
For all the arguments, what seemed to be dominating Sabine's thoughts was the guilt for the witches' lives. She couldn't bear to see them torn apart in front of her eyes. It was so overwhelming that she looked up at Meesei and her face contorted into sadness. "I have to leave the heart."
The Hist didn't seem to give her any time to reconsider. As if it was a trap, they swirled the scene back into the void from whence it came and flashes of the following events transpired. Sabine tried to scream to make it unreal, to take back her choice, but she had no lungs or mouth. The Hist didn't heed her at all. Instead, they simply showed Sabine and Meesei the consequences.
They went to the point where the hostile pack arrived and purchased an audience with the Daedra they desired to speak with. Sabine could see a figure of herself watching on, but she wasn't inhabiting her body. She was being shown the event by the Hist, not experiencing it. The scenario flashed to the point of the ritual itself, and the witch in charge held the Daedra heart in her hand. According to every ingredient, Hircine would be summoned, but as soon as the chanting subsided and the lead witch stabbed her knife into the heart, offering it... there was nothing. After all that, Hircine had seen fit to not give the pack an audience. Sabine wanted to scream again as the pack transformed and ravaged the coven. Thankfully, the Hist didn't make her relive the entire event, but their message was stark. Sabine's choice had meant nothing.
This time the Hist's movements and hymns transformed Sabine in another way. They had tricked her, but they had done so for a reason. Their new message was of forgiveness. They even emulated the voices of the witches that had died, reassuring Sabine that it wasn't her fault. She hadn't taken the heart after all, why should it have been her fault? Sabine couldn't help but feel comforted once she had recovered from the shock and trauma of this trial. Her turning, the slaughter of her coven sisters, Ariel's banishment. That was all beyond her control. She could accept that and carry on with without the burden of guilt and still live with the pack. No longer would she have to blame herself.
With the memory of the attack still fresh in her mind, Sabine's next choice came to her in a much greener setting. Cyrodiil. The great forest. She was in her cloak this time, and nearest to her real size and age. She was seated and cringing underneath her furs, and peeked out to see Meesei squatting down opposite her with a concerned look. This wasn't her ethereal guide, however. She was part of the scene. Sabine looked to one side and saw Meesei's ghostly aspect next to them both as well. There were two Meeseis.
"What is your name, young girl?" Past Meesei spoke with a curious tone. "I know in the day since we found you, the others have been calling you Runt, but I haven't heard you speak a word. What happened to make you so quiet? You can tell me, I'm the alpha of this pack. It is my responsibility to look out for you."
This was a memory that Sabine didn't think would be part of her experience with the Hist. This was the very first time that she had been asked about herself by Meesei. She was a very different person back then, she noticed. Her mind was still shattered from the torture her sister had put her through, and the scars were so deep that it was painful to talk at all. She didn't know that staying silent had perpetuated the pain for so long until she had confided in Meesei outside of Vos many moons later. However, with the last scene flooding her traumatic memories back to the forefront of her mind, Sabine was still upset and hid herself under her cloak, just as she had done back when the memory was forged. The Hist froze the scene just then. It gave a chance for present Meesei to give her input and hopefully clear Sabine's mind of the raw emotion flowing through it.
For all the arguments, what seemed to be dominating Sabine's thoughts was the guilt for the witches' lives. She couldn't bear to see them torn apart in front of her eyes. It was so overwhelming that she looked up at Meesei and her face contorted into sadness. "I have to leave the heart."
The Hist didn't seem to give her any time to reconsider. As if it was a trap, they swirled the scene back into the void from whence it came and flashes of the following events transpired. Sabine tried to scream to make it unreal, to take back her choice, but she had no lungs or mouth. The Hist didn't heed her at all. Instead, they simply showed Sabine and Meesei the consequences.
They went to the point where the hostile pack arrived and purchased an audience with the Daedra they desired to speak with. Sabine could see a figure of herself watching on, but she wasn't inhabiting her body. She was being shown the event by the Hist, not experiencing it. The scenario flashed to the point of the ritual itself, and the witch in charge held the Daedra heart in her hand. According to every ingredient, Hircine would be summoned, but as soon as the chanting subsided and the lead witch stabbed her knife into the heart, offering it... there was nothing. After all that, Hircine had seen fit to not give the pack an audience. Sabine wanted to scream again as the pack transformed and ravaged the coven. Thankfully, the Hist didn't make her relive the entire event, but their message was stark. Sabine's choice had meant nothing.
This time the Hist's movements and hymns transformed Sabine in another way. They had tricked her, but they had done so for a reason. Their new message was of forgiveness. They even emulated the voices of the witches that had died, reassuring Sabine that it wasn't her fault. She hadn't taken the heart after all, why should it have been her fault? Sabine couldn't help but feel comforted once she had recovered from the shock and trauma of this trial. Her turning, the slaughter of her coven sisters, Ariel's banishment. That was all beyond her control. She could accept that and carry on with without the burden of guilt and still live with the pack. No longer would she have to blame herself.
With the memory of the attack still fresh in her mind, Sabine's next choice came to her in a much greener setting. Cyrodiil. The great forest. She was in her cloak this time, and nearest to her real size and age. She was seated and cringing underneath her furs, and peeked out to see Meesei squatting down opposite her with a concerned look. This wasn't her ethereal guide, however. She was part of the scene. Sabine looked to one side and saw Meesei's ghostly aspect next to them both as well. There were two Meeseis.
"What is your name, young girl?" Past Meesei spoke with a curious tone. "I know in the day since we found you, the others have been calling you Runt, but I haven't heard you speak a word. What happened to make you so quiet? You can tell me, I'm the alpha of this pack. It is my responsibility to look out for you."
This was a memory that Sabine didn't think would be part of her experience with the Hist. This was the very first time that she had been asked about herself by Meesei. She was a very different person back then, she noticed. Her mind was still shattered from the torture her sister had put her through, and the scars were so deep that it was painful to talk at all. She didn't know that staying silent had perpetuated the pain for so long until she had confided in Meesei outside of Vos many moons later. However, with the last scene flooding her traumatic memories back to the forefront of her mind, Sabine was still upset and hid herself under her cloak, just as she had done back when the memory was forged. The Hist froze the scene just then. It gave a chance for present Meesei to give her input and hopefully clear Sabine's mind of the raw emotion flowing through it.
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