@pandapolio I'm fanning myself. A dashing prince this Baron is. He is now forever Baron Charming in my head. He's accepted and thank you for cleaning the grammar, it's at a satisfactory level.
I would like to make a character that is rebellious against the crown in nature, but doesn't entire fit into either the Veiled Ones or the Ouroborros. Could I make a character that has mild ties to the two rebellious factions (or just the Ouroborros if both wouldn't work) but is not necessarily a member?
Or actually...now that I'm looking at it, what if my character was a member of the vanguard but worked as an informant to the Ouroborros, but wasn't a full-fledged member? Is that feasible?
I like the feel. I do technically need this kind of character (if just to save me the NPC) should you decide this is the kind of character you want, and their CS is accepted I'll pass all the IC knowledge I can think your character will need and could have gotten.
Hello, I would like to join if it is still possible :) I hope I didnt make any major mistakes in the CS, if so, feel free to point them out and I will do my best to fix them.
Name: Dhaeva
Race/Faction: Shrikanti
Age: looks around 35, but is probably much older
Description:
Dhaeva looks like a typical Shrikanti woman – very dark skin, rather short and skinny. She always wears magical talismans and trinkets, some of them made of wood and stones, some of them of animal bones or teeth. She has looked the same age for years, some even say decades, maintaining her body through her magic. Her eyes are said to hide the flames of Sol, as they are bright orange, a color very unusual amongst the Shrikanti.
"Class": Witch
Motivation: Dhaeva prefers to stay out of conflict and tries to focus on helping her people through healing and protection magic. She will fight fiercely when her people are attacked, but is quite reluctant to attack herself.
History: Dhaeva was born as a sixth child into a poor family. Her father was a goatherd and their family wealth were a small herd of goats. Dhaeva’s mother died a few days after giving birth to her, the childbirth was long and complicated, and she never stopped bleeding after it. Because her father could hardly feed the children he already had, let alone a few days old infant, she sent her to a witch coven to raise her. Witches were reluctant to take the baby in, but when the oldest one saw the color of child’s eyes, she prophesied great future for it.
So Dhaeva grew up learning magic even before she could walk and talk. She studied all kinds of magic, but it was the healing that she preferred, partially because of the way her mother died. Dhaeva wanted to prevent that happening to other women.
Very little of this history is known to common people, as Dhaeva spends her long life travelling between Shrikanti cities and smaller settlements, sometimes spending few months in place, sometimes a few years. She has a place in every witch coven, but she rarely uses this privilege, as she prefers to lead simple life free from politics.
She has been staying in the city of Cealla for the past three years, helping other Shrikanti and surviving on the gifts she received for her help.
Strengths: She excels in healing and protective spells, also knows some useful curses and confusion spells. She wants to help everyone and hates to see people dying from causes that could be prevented, like minor diseases or hunger.
Weakness: She is very reluctant to use offensive magic. She helps people sometimes to the detriment of herself, giving them last food or water or using her powers to the point of exhaustion. Also, she is quite weak in hand-to-hand combat.
What is the most important thing to know about your character? Dhaeva is a healer, not just by profession, but by heart.
What is your character's greatest flaw? Sometimes she cares too much and that can be used against her. She will go out her way to try and save people, even into dangerous situations.
Why should your character be in a position to influence an entire country? While she doesn’t like using offensive magic, she certainly knows her way around it. If nothing else, she can help protect her people from foreign attacks.
Dhaeva was sitting in front of her hut, enjoying the morning sun. If you asked her, mornings were the best part of the day. Perfect balance between the unpleasant cold of the night and exhausting heat of the afternoon. She closed her eyes and appreciated the quiet for a moment. “Dhaeva, Dhaeva!” So much for the quiet. Little girl was running towards her, calling her name. “What is it?” she asked while getting up and trying to remember the girl’s name. Was it Sali, or Sari or something like that? She couldnt have been more than six years old. “Our well is dry again, my mother asks if you could help us.“ Another one? That’s the third one in two weeks. “Well then let’s see what the power of Macea can do about it,“ she smiled at the girl and followed her around the outskirts of the city. Some people greeted her as she passed by. She tried to at least smile at them and remember everyone, but there were just too many. So many people and only one of her to help all of them. Finally, they arrived to a small hut. Some more children were playing around it, from small toddlers to about age of ten. Older children were probably somewhere working, so their younger siblings had something to eat. Dhaeva headed straight to the well. It was a typical well shared by multiple families from the area. She peeked at the bottom. There was some wet mud, but that was about it, no water. Some women were watching her carefully, as she sat down on the sand next to the empty well. Dhaeva closed her eyes and reached for her magic, mumbling prayers to Macea. Praying wasn’t necessary for this spell, but it helped her concentrate. She spread her senses around and down, beneath the dry sand. A few years ago, any novice witch could simply reach a little bit under the surface and she would find plenty of water to fill a dozen of wells. Now Dhaeva had to reach deep to find the spring and direct it into the well. She was shaking and drops of sweat appeared on her forehead, as the well slowly started to fill with water. When she was sure that the water will find the right way on its own, she interrupted the spell, sighing with relief. Water gathering was getting harder and harder. In just a few decades, this place will turn back into a dry dessert, she thought to herself. The children were cheering and playing around the well, splashing water at each other. Their mothers picked up some water into larger pots for cooking. One of them headed to Dhaeva with a basket in her hands. “We thank you for your help,” she said and bowed slightly. “Here, have this in return.” Dhaeva took the basket and looked inside. It was filled with some basic food, milk and a little bit of butter. “I thank you for this gift,” she smiled at the woman, already thinking about starving children from a family she visited yesterday. Well today, they will finally have something proper to eat.
A thousand times accepted! I love the way you shaped the environment as well! Dhaeva will do her job to a tee I'm certain. And I like that there'll be a second powerful female magic caster! Especially one who is the complete opposite of the Ouroboros Leader! They'll probably be enemies by the way! But I love this character!
Sorry for the silence on my end! I work 3rds and caught up on my sleep forcefully (I passed out for like 12 hours woke up went to work and repeated :p) Thank you for saying you'll accept my character pending those additions, but due to your initial concern with her I've decided to update a few things so when I fill out the stats I'll update those things as well.
Hopefully you'll feel the same about her at that point! But lemme look into these stats, I don't know them currently and would like to make sure I put accurate numbers down. Gimme until the afternoon to make these changes.
Now your character is a nice tight little bundle. I like him, a genius who learned the skills on his own. I fear ny poor little girl won't keep up :p lmao @Renny
@Wick Fine with me! And to be honest, I think it actually flows a little better now. A single insult about educating your child isn't the same thing as constant insults regarding one's place in the world. She's accepted. I want you to know since your character is the only character that is removed from the current events like this, I'll have to place them in a couple tricky situations to get involved in the plot, you'll have a slower beginning than the rest of the cast.
@LordofthePies We already discussed this some. Once we talk about those alterations some more he'll probably be accepted.
@Wick I adore that sweet little badass. Now I will say this, the King isn't actually sexist, not only did he train his daughter to be an exemplery diplomat but one of his most trusted, albeit secretly, advisors is a woman. So my advice alter it to an insult about being poor something he does discriminate against.
@pandapolio So your cs is nice. I like him loads already. I can't wait to read your writing Example! One last thing, re-read your CS and check for missing words. While I don't get super annoying about gramma while In Casual, I do like for sentences to be legible without playing fill in the blank.
Alright so this is how I'll do this; I'm going to hit you with a list. Beside each bullet with be (+) or (-); positive or negative. I'm not one for going into details, especially when it comes to someone else's character sheet. I find it hindering to the creative process. The only time I'll go into detail is if there is something I have an absolute problem with. So let's begin.
(+) I like the profile overall. You're definitely in the acceptable range.
(+) Your Nen ability is simple but powerful. Makes sense for an Enhancer.
(-) Birdy's baptism by Nen is a tad iffy to me. I'm willing to let it slide, why not. Hunters are extremely rare. I think it was mentioned that out of all of its population there were only 661. Nen Users are around the same, maybe more, it would rare for them to know the truth of the concept. If not Hunters or Masters in their own right I think her skill would be greatly diminished. I'm skeptical of her being hit by a Nen User in the mafia and surviving at all, unless she was amongst a battle involving weak Mafiosos. Seems more likely. Very, very dangerous but plausible.
I agree, I definitely hand-waved the accident. Frankly, there weren't many reasonable ways I could think of to have a character I wanted at the age I wanted without either a baptism that was mostly harmless, all things considered, or was a genius who rivaled Gon/Killua and that just seemed unlikely to me shrugs shoulders So I went that route. If the baptism bothers you I can alter the situation some. Change ages and whatnot. I kind of like the baptism part, but thereare more realistic routes I can take if you'd like?
