Penny

This isn't working out: Part 3

@HEAVY METAL

I tend to avoid religious people as much as I can

Tricksters and Theives: A Warhammer RP

"Thank you Herr... Neil is it?" she asked. Details were the key to any successful con so she had noted his name when Gunter spoke it, but it almost always paid to appear to know less than you did. It wasn't likely that the contact would amount to anything, nothing good certainly as the most likely outcome was for Otto to take offense at a guild apprentice talking to his supposedly aristocratic date. She wondered if she could use that to her advantage but it seemed a crude and clumsy intrusion into a plan that seemed to be progressing well enough already.

"As for guards, why I am under the protection of Graf Otto Von Banstuf, surely no one would dare interfere with me. The words were delivered with an utter lack of inflection that made it exceedingly difficult to know if they were meant seriously or as a joke. Otto was, no doubt, good at drinking and spending money and perhaps whipping the odd servant, but Emmaline didn't imagine he had any martial talents.

"As for Nuln," she said, pulling the coat around her shoulders, the effect slightly ridiculous with the elaborate gown.

"I haven't been here long but it has its attractions I suppose," she told him, her body all but trembling from the presence of so much iron and steel. It didn't have the effect on her gold did, but the awareness of so much metal was a natural part of being a wizard of the Gold College, even a fairly worthless one.

Tricksters and Theives: A Warhammer RP

"Shyalla's..." Emmaline bit back the remainder of the oath as the apprentice from inside suddenly appeared beside her. How he had managed that without coming through the door behind her she couldn't imagine. She took a deep breath and composed herself, trying to think of what a noblewoman would do in such a situation. Probably ignore the impertinence with a lofty sniff, but she was bored and her part in the con already played, or nearly so.

"No one made me do anything," she said in a lofty tone. It hung there for a moment before she softened.

"I am from Altdorf yes," she confirmed, shivering slightly at the chill in the air. It was amazing that beween he peticoat, the dress and corset that she could still be cold.

"Marguerite von Vissenbach."

Tricksters and Theives: A Warhammer RP

Emmaline watched as the young man returned with a pair of books. Both were heavy crude things bound with coarse twine and wrapped in simply cured leather. The sour faced old engineer grabbed the nearer of the two and pulled it open.

"Never mind wrenches right now Neil," Gunter told the apprentice, some of the earlier animus had left his voice. Not so much because he wasn't irritated with Neil but because he lions share of his attention had been transfered to the book. The parchment fluttered as he leafed through it, turning the hand written pages to reveal columns of figures, maps, schematics of pumps and other records. Gunter picked up a pair of glasses and peered through them.

"Mine closed by order of Master Engineer Grimwold... ah that drunken old sot... on the basis that the yield of ore was no longer profitable and frequent cave ins," Gunter read, following his place with a stubby fingertip.

"Steady decrease in yield over the past decade before closing, looks like they replaced beams shortly before they closed it, several exploratory tunnels dug, probably when they got desperate to find new veins of ore," Gunter looked up from his work.

"I have to say Herr Von Banstuf, Grimwold was a drunk but he knew his business, based on this I cannot imagine that reopening the mine is profitable."

"But would it be safe Master Gunter?" Otto pressed. Gunter blew out a long breath, clearly viewing the whole business as a waste of time.

"If it isn't safe Otto perhaps..." Emmaline began uncertainly. There was an art to being negative, it encouraged the mark to be decisive so long as one wasn't to emphatic.

"And surely ten thousand marks a year isn't worth..." Otto turned and gave her a patronizing smile.

"Marguerite dear, why dont you wait outside while the men talk," he told her gently but firmly. Emmaline blanked her face as though slightly offended and then turned and stepped outside into the chilly afternoon. A slight smirk lifted the corners of her mouth. This was almost too easy.

This isn't working out: Part 3

I've honestly never met a single person who played a tabletop game and didn't like it

This isn't working out: Part 3

Sci-fi in general, I have met people that will refuse to read/watch it.

Tricksters and Theives: A Warhammer RP

"Get up you lazy scut!" Albrecht called through the stone linteled doorway. There was a groan from the pile of blankets that covered a pallet in the corner. Heartlessly the wizard, an old man with a bald patte covered in liver spots, began to bang his copper wrapped flaggon on the stones with a metallic clang. The groan from the blankets rose in pitch and a moment later a pale hand appeared, snapping like the arm of a trebuchet and launching a wooden soled shoe in the general direction of the door. Used to his student's tactics, Albrect stepped behind the door and waited for first one and then the second shoe to sail past, clattering against the stone wall beyond. When he poked his head around the corner, cautiously in case she had bottles or other such ordinance at her disposal, a young woman had appeared in the center of the mass of bedding, her golden blond hair cascading around her in an untidy mane and a thick blanket pulled up to cover her impressive breasts. She glared at him with blue eyes which were narrowed in peevish irritation.

"If you are quite finished Emmaline?" Albrecht inquired dryly. She spat a curse at him which would have been better suited to the Marienburg docks than to a wizards apprentice.

"That seems anatomically unlikely," Albrecht replied, "now are you going to get up or should I find a bell to ring?"

"Fine!" Emmaline snapped, pressing the heel of her right hand to her eyes and cursing the wine she had been drinking the night before. The rich Ostland vintage was a far less pleasant companion the next day it seemed. Once he was convinced she wasn't going to go back to sleep Albrecht turned and headed back the way he came pausing to call over his shoulder.

"Now get yourself ready, I think today might be the day Von Griffenbach bites!"

The dwelling, it wasn't really proper to call it a house, had begun life as a guard tower on the walls of Nuln centuries ago. As the city had swelled it had outgrown its old walls and they had fallen into disrepair. Vast sections of the old fortifications had been torn down, scavanged for their stones, but here and there vestiges like this remained. It was too cold and drafty to be an attractive dwelling for any but the most desperate. Cracked roof tiles let in the rain and ancient mortar allowed the wind to howl between stones. It had become their dwelling by virtue of being cheap and by appealing to a wizards natural inclination to a tower, though mostly the former. Albrect had used his magic to seal the worst of the cracks, and the fire they kept in the central room went some way towards banishing the chill, but Emmaline hadn't felt really warm since she had arrived in Nuln a month ago.

Climbing out of bed she crossed the room naked, casting a look to the door to make sure the lecherous old wizard wasn't watching. She was a statuesque woman, blessed with the large heavy breasts and broad hips of the Unborgen archetype and narrow waisted in a distinct hourglass. Her features were beautiful though perhaps a touch softer than what might be considered aristocratic. There was a lushness to her form that would have suited her as a model for a painter like Eichman or Van der Trat. Indeed she had modled for several artists in Altdorf in the last few years when money had been particularly tight. Having come to the College of Magic rather unwillingly at the age of sixteen she had been Albrecht's 'apprentice' for the past four years, though the old man had chosen her for her looks and her utility. Emmaline's magical talents were at best moderate, and Albrecht's instruction was patchy at best, more generally consisting of things he didn't want to do himself that could be fobbed off on his apprentice. The old man was a kindred spirit of sorts. They both had a taste for the finer things which they could not afford, and they both found it easier to use their gifts and cunning to make money rather than commit themselves to serious study. A little bit of magic could be very handy in convincing fools to part with their gold.

"Much as I appreciate the view, don't be all morning about it," Albrecht called from the doorway. Emmaline turned and made a rude guesture, refusing to rise to give her master the pleasure of upsetting her, it wasn't as though he had never seen her naked afterall. In the corner of the room stood a large tub fashioned from a halved gunpowder keg. The water inside was clear and though it hadn't formed a rhyme of ice, was freezing cold. Emmaline took a rock from an improvised shelf and began to chant, gathering the gold wind around her. After a moment she dropped the rock into the tub. At first nothing happened, but then the water began to bubble around the stone, warmth began to radiate from the tub until it was warm enough that Emmaline could step in without yelping.

"Maybe you could make yourself useful and get me some breakfast?" Emmaline suggested, the now hot water easing away the chill in her bones and banishing the last of the alcholic fog which had clung to her mind. Albrecht snorted in disgust.

"Sounds like something an apprentice should be doing," he huffed. He smoothed his trousers removing the evidence that he had indeed been enjoying the view. He tried to haruumph with offended dignity but it was only partially successful.

"Well the apprentice is taking a bath and then she will have to wash her hair, and then squeeze into a corset, and then..."

"Yes, yes by Ranald's Balls," he grumbled, before turning he added, "I think we have some bread and cheese back here..."

____________________________________

The con was, at its heart, a fairly simple one, but then all tricks were simple once you knew how they were done.

"Oh Otto darling, are you sure?" Emmaline asked. She was dressed in a gown of current Altdorf fashion, embroided red velvet over a white underlayer with a long skirt of alternating black and gray. Although she wore several pieces of jewelery, the gown was the most expensive article of the ensemble. Gold they could fake, good quality fabric they had to buy. Her hair was done up in an elaborate series of curls that had taken her most of the morning to achieve without the help of a maid. Otto Von Banstuf, a slightly pudgy man in his late thirties, patted her arm reassuringly.

"If my master engineer here can assure me that we can reopen the mine, then I think I may be able to strike a bargain with this Pendergast fellow," Otto drawled self importantly. Pendergast of Altdorf was a respected member of the Imperial Metallurgical Society, well known in the small circles in which he ran. Of course he would probably be horrified to learn he was being impersonated by a disreputable wizard to swindle the gullible. Emmaline had come to Nuln two weeks earlier than Albrecht, passing herself of as Marguerite von Vissenbach, an entirely fictitious young aristocrat, the the von Vissenbach family was real enough. They had recently been lifted from obscurity by a renewal in their long dissipated family fortune. The source of this newfound wealth was the source of much speculation. Some claimed they had become secret favorites of the Emperor's advisers, others claimed they had made a dark pact with the followers of Chaos. The reality was that they were secretly funding expeditions to Lustria and were growing fat on the gold that came back over the seas, but for an Imperial family of the von Vissenbach's antiquity, openly admitting to 'trade' was unthinkable. There was another rumor going around, in very limited circles in Nuln, that they had been able to make their ancient tin mines turn a profit by producing modest amounts of silver. Emmaline knew of the last because she and Albrecht had been carefully spreading it around for Otto's benefit. When Otto had finally approached her at a rout three nights ago, she had feigned reluctance to discuss it, making on the sparsest of illusions which would convince him of what he wanted to believe. 'Marguerite' and 'Pendergast' where never seen together, though when sufficiently plied with drink and compliments Marguerite admitted that she had heard of such a man calling on her father. When Otto had finally sought out the faux Pendergast, Albrecht had been equally reluctant to deal with the ambitious Von Banstuf, pleading that he was far to busy and had too many other commitments. Finally, 'reluctantly' he had agreed to inspect some of the ore from the ancient and played out mines that Von Banstuf held the title too. Miraculously the ore had turned out to be perfect for Pendergast's new mining technique and he had demonstrated it to Otto. In reality one of the liquids used in the process was a silver vitriol compound which had been used to plate a pebble infront of Otto's eyes. Albrecht had then used simple slight of hand to switch the pebble out for a small nugget of real silver in the same shape. Otto had it tested by a silver smith and had been amazed that it was genuine. Now all that remained was to convince him to reopen the mine and put Pendergast in charge of setting up his new process. Unfortunately, Otto had insisted on consulting an engineer about the project before he would hand over a single Imperial.

"All we need to know, is can the old sawgrass mines be reopened, even partially," Otto repeated to the engineer. Emmaline smiled behind her mask of vapid amazement. He was on the hook, and with any luck they would be able to rob him blind before ever he knew what was going on.

Gold & Glory: AU thread

"Let me go!" Emmaline snapped, attempting to bring her magic to bear. Unfortunately, whether by accident or design, his powerful grip kept her from moving her hands enough to work the kind of spell she would need. He twisted her arms back, thrusting out her chest like the figurehead of a ship and marched her along the cordory road which served as a street in this part of town. Four more men emerged to join their companion and his captive, all equally impressive physical specimens and all well armed with crude but brutal looking steel swords. If any of the locals were inclined to help a woman in distress, the muscular phalanx surrounding her dissuaded them immediately. The snake bracelet at her wrist began to stir and Emmaline willed it to be still. For a wonder it seemed to actually work, the creature couldn't be said to take orders from her, but perhaps it was willing to wait and see on this occasion. The fact that the thugs seemed to be taking her to Marcus seemed a good sign, and it made sense to wait until she was closer to allies before she attempted anything.

It took only a few minutes to reach the shipping house, which seemed to form a natural blockhouse between the harbor district and the more inland area where the majority of houses stood. Smoke from cook fires and forges floated on the sluggish tropical air beyond and stocky Norscan women hurried back and forth with baskets woven of reeds and what looked to be strips of bamboo. Several wagons were hitched to miserable looking donkies just beyond the shipping house and shirtless man were loading barrels of ale from the back of the shipping house into the carts. Emmaline hadn't seen horses or carts closer to the docks, either because the surfaces couldn't take the weight, or more likely, whoever ran the local stevedores wanted to keep cheaper options out of the area.

"I think we found something of yours Mister Imperial," the leader of the pack called in badly accented Riekspiel, swatting Emmaline's bottom in emphasis.

"Which is good, because the iron that you brought is ours. We will pay you for it, but it wont go to these whoresons!" the leader bawled, making a rude gesture at several of the staff off the shipping house.

This isn't working out: Part 3

@HEAVY METAL

I actually think the casino scene at the start is in the fine tradition of the pulps, it goes disastrously off the rails after that though.

This isn't working out: Part 3

For me it would be Indiana Jones (1 & 3)