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Felix Hausten

Location: Justice Memorial Hospital

His fears hadn't been fully confirmed yet, but before he'd even been put under, his brain, flooded with pain, had felt the sense of loss. He'd never see his future with his own two eyes it seemed, kind of ironic huh? A future he'd always wanted to be able to see, something he thought befitting him would be flashy and amazing. But no. Due to his own reckless behaviour, he was landed with such misfortune, that seeing his own future would be a task as it was. He'd caused this. he couldn't escape the blame. The one to blame was him, and he'd never forget that. So when he saw half of his future, he'd be reminded, he lost half of his future in the mistakes of the past.

in his own world, a world safely tucked away from the problems and terrifying reality of the world in which he was born into, Felix could feel the temperature lowering. He was remembering something. His brother. Blood gushing out of his leg, a knife freshly plucked from the flesh. He saw an image, of his brother stumbling into his room, collapsing on the ground. He was too young, he didn't know what to do. He tried wrapping it up in a blanket and putting plasters on it. But he was an idiot, and called the ambulance too late. he caused lasting damage.

It was like now. He went in too strong, he provoked a mentally unstable girl with a history of irrational and dangerous behaviour. That orderly, stabbed in the neck. The orderly that died. he did that. Not by choice or by deliberation, but by a consequence of his own foolish behaviour. He would never let his own behaviour lessen the lives of others. He'd make sure of that
Hey guys, sorry for lack of activity and absence, will get a post up within the next few hours
Felix Hausten

Location: Justice Memorial Hospital

If he was able to be more aware of what was happening with his body in the world of the awake, Felix would be objecting and in a state of argument at what was going on with his hair. Although, in his current state he wouldn't have even argued if he was aware. At this point, it felt like he no longer had control of the dice, he couldn't even roll. Hell, he had no choices, things happened to him, for a reason? Who knew, he wasn't so condescending and pretentious to perceive such accidents and mishaps as some sign of god that he was meant for something else.

To him what this all stood for was that he wasn't dead yet, which meant there was something he had to do, then his death would be barrelling around the corner, a theme many in this god forsaken city seemed to have awaiting them. In this dream like forced unconscious state, Felix could feel regret yet gratitude. He regretted leaving Berlin, the chaos and misery he'd caused here were all because he had left his comfortable home of Berlin. Because he wanted this. He wanted the risk and adventure of solving another case, he wanted more material for his novels.

That's why he was grateful. he was grateful for this hands on experience, of being forced to be fully submerged into the scum and depths of this hive of mystery and underhanded dealings. The city's personal initiation ritual, to show him what he was getting into. yet something at the back of his mind knew, that the city had already changed him. Not just the survival rate of his eye, but more his drive. His drive to solve this mystery was becoming more and more strong. He had to get deeper. He had to. he couldn't give up now that he himself was a target.It would just make the novel more immersive and a rollercoaster for all readers. Hell, it would zoom off shelves. he could raise money for this affected by this huge calamity parade. He wasn't done fighting yet.
Felix Hausten

Location: Justice Memorial Hospital

Footsteps. That's all he could hear as he ran through the emptiness of his sub consciousness. It'd been a long time since he'd last been in a drug induced state of sleep. He hoped this would be the last, not a habit he was fully comfortable with making a regular occurrence. He was in pain. But it was numbed by the drugs. The overwhelming feeling of failure and disappointment hung over him. Regret. That invaded his mind. Regret and shame. How he had missed them.

he could vaguely see figures appearing before him. Those of men in balaclavas and ski-jackets. Men he had hired. Men he had put in the face of danger through his own stupidity. men who contributed to his book. That's what he did nowadays though, thats what it seemed. Death brought inspiration. What a fun yet morbid cycle he found himself in. His head was spinning slowly. The drugs keeping him caged in this dream state. He was being healed. Repaired. He begged for repair. To be able to see his future with both eyes. Maybe salvation was still in his grasp. Maybe. But did he want it? He hit his knees. Did he want it?
Felix Hausten

Location: Justice Memorial Hospital

They were professionals. He kept telling himself that, but around his brain, all he could think of was the most bleak and terrible scenarios. All of them running at once as they began preparing him for the anaesthesia. They could be in cahoots with the killers. They might know who he is. While he was out there was nothing he could do to stop them. Was Riley still there? Was Riley okay? He blinked a few times as the voices of Brinne and the surgeons swam around his head. Time was going to fly hm? If it wasn't for them about to drug him up he very much doubted that.

One. He blinked again, or would it be a wink now? he couldn't tell for sure, a google search for later. yes that was it. Two. He'd be out in no time, and they'd patch him up good as new, and he could repent, he could make up for the things that he did. Three. He was at fault, it was because of him the horror and terror broke out at the asylum. Four. If he had just focussed, kept to the shadows, been a good person. Five. Was living the best option for him.

With that, his eyes closed. Everything went numb as darkness consumed him, like falling into the abyss. He could hear shouting. It wasn't English. It was German. He recognised where he was. In Berlin, where he grew up. The wind was brisk and nippy but he liked it. He liked the feeling of being there. These were all just memories but he was watching as the four kids played before him. His brother and him. He looked at his hands. red. They were red. He touched at his face. More red. This wasn't just paint or pen. It was sticky, running down him. He turned from the scene, Laughter rang amongst the streets. He dipped into an alleyway, safety.

The alleyway offered more than safety however. A corpse, laying on the alley floor. Something bad arose in his mind. He stopped and fell back, staring into the sky, snowflakes landing around him. In his drug induced sleep this was the hell he was thrust into. His own memories. Something he took pride in being able to repress.
Felix Hausten

Location: Justice Memorial Hospital

Pathetic, that was a very accurate way to describe how Felix felt in his current situation. But the overwhelming feeling of self-blame hung over him like a blanket, blocking out his capacity to think properly, this coinsided with the pain well. As he was wheeled to elevators and then to the operating room, it was like he couldn't move. Like he was submerged in some sort of tank, unable to help himself. A mistake away from death, the pain flooding through him like a current of electricity. Truly he was a screw up. From the day he was born to the day where he got stabbed in the eye with a fucking crayon and his actions led to another man dying, let alone the rest of the chaos that was no doubt unfolding due to the asylum incident.

This doctor, Natascha Brinne, he couldn't fixate much on her with his free eye but from what she said, she knew what she was doing. Even if she wasn't the one in charge, he could tell he wasn't being given to sub-par surgeons who'd let him bleed out. From what he heard, he'd be stuck for a day, a day to think. To decide what to do. He wished the pain would go away, so he could think again. To get rid of the guilt. God did he need a drink or something, something to make all this go away. He looked up at the surgeons he was no doubt near, giving them a small squint before laying his head down flat again. This would be over soon, he knew that. But what came next was daunting and a journey into the unknown.
@Lady Amalthea That is completely fine and there are no hard feelings because that was really the best solution. I apologise for my rather bad posting habits and hope to improve them soon but really this helms me try to improve them so thank you and whilst Felix is in the background I will try my hardest to make my posting more frequent and stable.
Felix Hausten

Location: Justice Asylum - Justice Memorial Hospital

The ride was a blur for felix. But at the same time, it was like an endless slog for him. Feeling the road whiz by yet not able to see it as it did so. He food vaguely see Riley and he wanted to say some words but as he opened his mouth slightly, the events hit him again. He remembered the whole event suddenly, something he'd been avoiding during the ordeal, trying to think of the future positively. But the bleakness of the situation hung over him like a mIstanbul. He had almost died. Another man had died. And for what? For his own selfish needs, to find out more.

Before he knew it he was being wheeled inside and he tried to sit up, but to no avail. He was restricTed but wasn't that better when he thought about it. He wanted to know more so what did he do? Murder was the solution, murder and chaos always easked the story along but he always preferred not to be a direct cause. He looked up. Wincing as the pain surged through his nervous system. It seared and felt like it was burning into his skull.

He laid back and looked up. What was going to happen to him now hm? He sat and waited. Looking for where Riley had went and grit his teeth. He couldn't fix this mistake or lie about it. He was the cause and if he could stop that man from dying he would. His name was written all over that ordeal and chances were he wasaid going to pay for it.
I will have a post up asap today, sorry for the wait!
Felix Hausten

Location: Justice Asylum

His journey to the elevator was stressful. He couldn't move, his vulnerability scaring him. At this point he wouldnt be able to stop a knife aimed for him, let alone a short. Hell, someone could push him over and he'd be screwed. His free and safe eye, the only thing left to give him sight, darted around, trying to gather in as much detail as possible. This was way too unsettling for him, yes he had Riley, but still something unnerved him. Something wasn't right, the worst was still yet to come.

"heh, sure I'm fine" he let out with a sigh, biting down on his lip with a pained expression. Pain still seared through his body and where he was once able to view the world. There was nothing. Nothing but darkness with a few sudden bursts of pain. He needed something to fill that whole. His whole eye...gone. In an instant. That bitch would have to pay sometime. This wasn't her time to change his life. But he'd endure. Hell, if anything this would make him m more popular. As soon as he was patched up, he'd get back to writing.
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