With all his customers seemingly satisfied for the while Geoff quickly nipped out through the back door and out into the paddock behind the Drum. Glancing around to make sure no-one was watching he headed for an old tree stump that sat by itself in the middle of the field. Banging his fist on the rotting wood in a long sequence of pausing and taps he stood back and waited, as if expecting something.
After a few moments the old half-troll lost his patience and kicked the stump roughly. "Oi, you little bastards, open up!" Stepping back Geoff watched as a section of the paddock seemed to rise up out of the ground to reveal a hidden trapdoor being lifted from below by a gnarl-faced gnome.
"Was that tap tap tappity taptap tap tap tap, or taptap tappity tap taptap?" The gnome asked, ramming a rusty trumpet into his ear as he listened for a reply.
"What's it matter?" Geoff answered angrily, "You still opened the bloody door, even if it was the wrong knock. Not that I'm saying it was, mind you." Pushing the gnome back Geoff quickly followed him down a short flight of stairs into a packed and boiling chamber. All around cisterns and cauldrons were bubbling. condensation tubes were glistening and bunsen burners were... well, burning. After a quick gaze around the secret cellar Geoff nodded with satisfaction before turning to the gnome. "Looks like you've got everything in hand, how's the latest stock?"
Stepping around between the apparatus stuffed desks the gnome waved over to a couple of his colleagues, who looked almost identical to him in every way. "We should be well on target for the next batch of products," The lead gnome said, flicking through a clipboard filled with charts, diagrams and complex looking equations. "The bar should be fully stocked again by sunrise, if not earlier."
As he spoke a large vat just behind the old gnome began to bubble over, its lid clattering wildly as the gasses held within seeped through the seams. "DUCK!" Cried one of the junior gnomes, and without pausing all three of the little creatures vanished under the sturdy oak furnishings just as the boiler exploded in a cloud of incandescent light.
Peering through the smoke Geoff saw a glimmering portal floating in the air, on the far side a bathhouse filled with dusky, exotic maidens, rubbing each other down with oils as their naked bodies glowed with an unearthly light. As he watched them frolicking together one of the girls seemed to step closer to the portal, her arm reaching out with a beckoning finger beseeching Geoff to step through and join in with the carnal pleasures on display.
After a moment the image began to fade and the portal closed with a loud pop, leaving behind a somewhat bewildered looking toad which promptly leapt of the table and made its way as quickly as it could towards a nearby drain. "Quick, get it!" Hollered the lead gnome as one of his assistants grabbed a set of tongs and set upon the unfortunate creature, quickly lifting the toad up and depositing it in a large jar already inhabited by dozens more just like it.
Clearing his throat loudly the lead gnome peered up at Geoff sheepishly. "The Pervert's Paradise may take a little longer, but the rest of the goods will be ready on time. I'd stake my life on it."
Bending at the waist, Geoff leaned down, his nostrils flaring from his heavy breathing as he glowered at the gnome for several long seconds. "Your life is already staked on it." He said in a deep rumble, leaving no doubt in the gnome's mind that one of his assistants would soon be getting a promotion unless he delivered his end of their little deal.
"Y-yessir..." The gnome finally muttered through chattering teeth, his hands shaking as he turned to direct his assistants to roll another boiler out from the storage room nearby. As Geoff turned away and made his way back up into the paddock he could hear the busy little creatures hard at work, metal grinding against metal as they tightened screws and fastened bolts, getting the apparatus up and running.
With a flick of his hand he slammed the hatch back down, watching for a moment as it blended once more with the surrounding grass, invisible to all. Stomping back towards the bar the half-troll began to wonder just how much Hilda had stolen from the the stock while his back had been turned.
