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2 yrs ago
"Are you serious, Snake? Cryptocurrency, or 'Crypto' for short, is a digital currency that is not tied to any one nation. There's not just one type, either! Have you really never heard of them?"
1 like
2 yrs ago
@AlternateMan mf I have never interacted with you ONCE but I know you are consistently the funniest guy here. Take the W, my N-word.
2 likes
2 yrs ago
Yoooooo who here is GAY
10 likes
2 yrs ago
Heh heh heh heh heh... Hi, Tired. I'm Tim.
1 like
2 yrs ago
Charlie Sheen? More like Charles Luster
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Bio

Hi! I am Tim.

... That is all.

I AM CURRENTLY IN:

nothing

Most Recent Posts

1:50 PM, January 25th, 2026
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico


10 year old Daniel was playing in the backyard, throwing a tennis ball against the side of his house. His mom told him to play outside while she was on the phone. He could hear her yelling sometimes. Daniel kind of wanted to see his dad, but his mom said he had to go away. That made him feel sad.

"Hey, kid."

Daniel turn around quickly upon hearing the voice, but saw nobody in his backyard but him. He looked over into the woods at the edge of the yard, but could find nobody in the treeline.

"Up here."

Daniel looked up, seeing a gray cat on the roof of his house. It sat there, staring at him. Then it began to speak.

"What? You've never seen a talking cat before?"

Daniel stood in shock and awe at the cat for a moment, before responding.

"How are you talking?"

"I'm a magic cat, obviously. I can grant wishes too!"

"Really?!"

"Well, it depends on your wish. Do you have a wish?"

Daniel thinks for a moment. He just found a magic cat that grants wishes! What did he want most in the world? On cue, he could hear his mom yelling at the person on the other end of the phone. He was pretty sure it was his dad. Something happened that made his parents not like each other anymore.

"... I just want my mom and dad to be happy and like each other again."

The cat is silent for a few moments, seeming to consider his wish. This is probably the most intense moment in Daniel's life.

"... Your wish is a noble one. I can indeed grant it."

Daniel was overjoyed, jumping up and down in excitement. The cat hopped down from the roof and started walking towards the woods. Daniel was confused. The cat turned to him.

"Do you want your wish or not? C'mon, follow me!"

Daniel follows with no further hesitation, into the woods with the magical cat. After a few minutes of walking into the woods, the magic cat dashes forward out of sight. Daniel tries to keep up, but the cat's nowhere to be found.

"... Magic Talking Cat? Where'd you go?"

"Over here!"

Daniel follows the voice, leading him to the cat perched on a thick tree. Hanging from this tree is a single golden apple, hanging from a low branch close to the trunk.. The cat explains.

"There you are. Now, to grant your wish, you need to pick this golden apple. I'd get it for you, but then it wouldn't work."

Daniel gazes in awe at the apple, shining in the light. He begins to climb the tree, hugging it as tight as he can. He gets to the apple, and reaches out for it. The tree then pulls Daniel inside itself, it's texture going from hard and sturdy to soft and mushy. It closes around him, the cat and the apple likewise sinking into the tree, returning to being just another tree in the forest.




2:10 PM


Daniel's mother, Rebbeca, hung up the phone in anger and frustration. That son of a bitch can take his whore and go, but he wasn't taking her son with them. The court agreed with her, and he needs to get over it. Once the divorce is finalized, she's taking Daniel and getting the hell out of this city. She heads outside and shouts out the door.

"Danny, you can come back inside now!"

There was no response. Rebecca stepped out into the backyard.

"... Danny?"

She looked around the yard, but her son was nowhere to be seen. She started to panic, but it was in vain. He was already gone.

"Daniel?! DANIEL?!"




11:30 PM


The police had looked for Daniel in the surrounding woods, but he was nowhere to be found. It had gotten too dark to search any longer, so they'd given up the search for the night. Rebecca's ex-husband was currently being investigated. Rebecca herself was sitting alone at home, having cried her eyes out for hours. She wanted her son back.

"MOOOOOM!"

The shout echoed outside, and Rebecca perked up. She looked out into the backyard, seeing a small figure in at the treeline. She immediately ran outside.

"DANIEL!"

The boy screamed, being pulled back into the woods. Rebecca was startled for a second, but chased after him. She didn't worry about the dangers. She'd lost him for a moment. The forest was dark, lit only by the moonlight.

"DANIEL, WHERE ARE YOU?!"

"MOMMY!"

She followed the voice, finding her son in the fetal position against a tree. She crouches besides him and hugs him, checking him for injuries. She's in tears.

"Daniel, oh my god! Are you hurt, baby?!"

The tree's branches twisted and turned, grabbing Rebecca. She was pulled into the trunk before she could resist, half-phased in. Her son started to giggle as the cells began eating her, and she watched as he stood up, a tree branch connected to his back. Daniel slowly morphed into another person entirely.

"... You know... I don't like to eat children like some sort of boogeyman. The taste isn't really... there, you know? Like wine. Needs time to mature."

Rebecca tried to scream, but the "tree" covered her mouth in it's bark. The cells ate away at her vocal chords next.

"And according to some 'research'... You're pushing on 70.
And when I first sniffed you out, I knew it wasn't some sort of age-defying trick. And from what my cells are telling me, you taste amazing,
just like your boy. You're something special."


Virus eats away at her body, assimilating her slower than anyone else he's eaten. She can't even cry in pain as she sinks slowly back into the tree.

"Don't worry, though. You'll see your son again. Soon."

Rebecca sinks into the tree, and after a few minutes of incomperable pain, she's no more.

Virus claims another.
Xavier uses his Light Dash to get back behind friendly lines. Despite punching that giant worm to death being pretty fun, it was also surprisingly pathetic. He sighs, both annoyed with Tea's hurtful comments and disappointed at the lack of challenge, speaking to Elena.

"What are these guys, level 10? I think it's time to end this. Thanks for the spell. Cover me, will you?"

With that, he pulls his fist back and concentrates on his arm, preparing a Megaton Punch, ready to do another swift Light Dash to that Knight. The air around his fist began to vortex and glow, charging. Time to test how strong he can really be.

@Lucius Cypher@Rune_Alchemist@Darked13
After grabbong the keys from Wilhelm, Hawke took the sword on one hand and pulled out his Shiv in the other, in case they got too close. He didn't know what the hell infected them, but it wasn't happening to him. He charged towards the pair, and with this enchantment, he was hoping to just slice them to ribbons.

He really wanted his sword back.
9:00 PM, January 21st, 2026
San Diego, California


Leo rose from his seat at the bench as the hour struck, seeing the bus driver open the doors to his bus. After this one reaches Primm, he'll have to wait another day for the bus to Vegas. He approaches the bus, pulling his ticket out of his jacket, and steps aboard, pulling along his duffle bag and suitcase. The bus driver himself was probably in his 50's, and just looked so eager to drive a near-empty bus for hours on end. He spoke to Leo in a tired voice.

"Ticket, please."

Leo hands the driver the ticket and begins to find a seat, but was stopped by the driver.

"Hey, one carry-on only! Anything else has to go in the storage!"

Leo looked around the deserted bus station outside, finding not a single soul but him, the driver, and the ticket-booth attendant waiting lazily in his little box, watching something on his phone. Leo turned back to the driver.

"C'mon, man, there's nobody else here. And do you really want to get out and open up the compartment, or do you wanna get going?"

The bus driver stared him down for a second, before sighing and letting him pass.

"... Oh, go ahead, I don't give a shit..."

Leo nodded his head and walked to the back of the bus, where the cool kids (and formerly oppressed minorities, but that's besides the point) sit, picking up the man's thoughts on his way:

BORING AS HELL
TIRING AS HELL
STILL GETTING PAID


What a sad man. Leo takes a seat with his belongings and the bus, after a few hopeful (and legally required) minutes of waiting, shuts it's doors and begins it's journey.

Leo whips out his phone and notices a new notification. An Email, seemingly from a fan. But but this wasn't on his Arsenal fanmail email, it was his personal email. That's concerning. He read through the email thoroughly, partially out loud as he does when thinking. Good thing he was in the back.

"To Leo, from 'GirlGeniusJ355' at... She... She has her own email...?"

Leo, now incredibly interested, continues to read on:

"... 'A gift from me to you'... Saw you were in Coast City... Welcome to town present... do do do do... See attached images."

He opened the attached image, and saw the gift that was prepared: a futuristic-looking bow, with all sorts of fancy doodads on it. Leo can't exactly tell what they do, but it appears to have vents with tubes. Definitely for some sort of oxygen compression. Pneumatic, maybe? But then there's this crystal... What was that for? And what mineral was it?

But the questions can wait. That bow looks fucking awesome. Leo wants to shoot with it. Case closed. Continuing with the rest of the email:

"... The WB-B attachment..."

Leo cautiously opened up the code and gave it a look over. This "WhistleBlower-Buster" program was... Well, Genius. He didn't even know what most of this meant, but he could tell it was some high-level stuff. After double-checking the code for any malicious code or backdoors, he sent the code to one of his Admins to implement it into the site. He finished the email:

"... Regards... 'A genius fan'... Yeah, no kidding."

He noticed the P.S under the farewell, and his tone started getting excited.

"P.S.... 'If you want your gift just email me back, I'm sure we can figure out a pickup spot'?! Oh dang!"

The bus driver gives Leo a look in his rear view as if saying "Quiet down, I don't need this right now". Leo got the message and piped down his happiness. He proceeded to type out a response in silent joy.



To: GirlGeniusJ355@ihavemyownemailservice.pizza

From: Leo$@bingfreeserver.com

Subject: RE: A gift from me to you!

Body: Hey there, person! Thanks for writing. Not even gonna ask how you got this email, because judging by your work (and username), you're pretty smart.

I've already got my site managers working that program you gave me into the site. The code was absolute brilliance. I'll be able to stream for a longer amount of time now. Thanks!

But now let's talk about that bow: it looks WICKED. I'm not entirely sure how it works besides the oxygen compression, but I'm sure I'll find out!

... Some packaged instructions would also help.

I'll be in Primm tomorrow on the 22nd before I head to Fabulous Las Vegas. If you can, I'd like you to drop the bow off on the roof of the hotel there. I'm sure you have a way. If possible, I'd like to send a gift of my own back! Least I can do!

Anyway, always nice to hear from a fan. I'm glad you enjoy my stream! It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to have peeps like you as my fans!

Love,

Arsenal





Aaaaaand sent. There we are. Leo switches to a music app and puts a pair of headphones on, drifting off to sleep as the bus makes it's journey to Primm.
1:15 AM, January 7th, 2026
Coast City, California


Arsenal shoots his net arrow at the fleeing ATM thief, the arrowhead bursting open mid-flight and covering them, trapping the scoundrel. The thief struggles in vain as Arsenal approaches casually.

"Crime doesn't pay, jackass. It only fills you with arrows. Trust me."

A subtle curb stomp to the face later, and Arsenal leaves the unconscious crook as he hears sirens approaching. A donation pings in his ear.

ButterMyBread ($10): HE SHOT THE NET ARROW. THATS ALL WE EVER WANTED. WE IN BOIS




11:35 PM, January 14th, 2026
Los Angeles, California


Arsenal looses an arrow, hitting the would-be mugger in the his genitals. As the man falls to the ground, clutching his crotch in pain, Arsenal turned to check on the victim as another donation ringed out from the bluetooth:

BigDick6969 ($5): YO SHIT DID HE JUST SHOOT THAT GUY IN THE DICK?!

Arsenal lets out a bark of laughter at the donation before controlling himself.

"... Yeah, yeah, I did... Are you okay, miss?"

"... You're... You're that internet guy, right...?"

Arsenal perks up. Always good to meet someone who knows of him and his work.

"Oh, yeah, I'm Arsenal! I'm actually streaming right now! You want a shoutout, or-"

Another ping in his ear interrupts his thoughts:

Whistleblower887 ($1): The police are on their way. Stay right where you are.

Arsenal can hear the distant sirens. Great, another Stream Sniper. Really gotta deal with those guys...

"The police are coming, you'll be okay. Have a nice night!"

And so, leaving the woman and the man crying in the fetal position behind, Arsenal makes a quick and narrow escape.




10:45, January 20th, 2026
San Diego, California


As Arsenal fired another arrow into the another gang member in the warehouse, the leader must have decided to cut his losses and book it, if the car filled with drugs starting to peel out made any sense. Arsenal grinned under his mask, readying his latest creation into his bow.

"This guy isn't going anywhere! Not if my new Explosive Arrow has anything to say about it! Let's flip that bitch!"

Arsenal loosed his arrow at ground under the rear of the fleeing car. The arrow, on impact with the ground, exploded with amazing heat and force, causing the car to also explode in a great ball of flame. Arsenal stood deadly still for a few moments.

"... Less... Less gunpowder. Much less. Got it."

He quickly flees the scene, leaving the entire gang with more holes than they should probably have.




6:00 AM, January 21st, 2026
San Diego, California


BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Leo hits the button as he lies in bed, half-awake and half-dressed. He lets out a sigh before getting up and going to the bathroom. The normal routine followed: taking a shower, brushing his teeth, doing some exercise, et cetera. He inspected his Arsenal gear he kept in his duffle bag, cleaning his guns and bow, and looking through his supplies.

He takes out his notepad and makes a list of things he needed to do today:


    1. Pick up more food for trip to LV
    2. Get more arrow materials
    3. Redesign Arrows (Less Gunpowder)


With this, Leo puts a shirt on and walks out the door, exiting the motel grounds and taking a stroll to the nearby grocery store.




12:00 Midday, January 21st, 2026
San Diego, California


Leo sat at the motel desk, looking through his notepad and inspecting his trick-arrow schematics. The pencil tapped the paper a couple of times as he thought it through. He voiced his thoughts in a low tone.

"... Let's see... 3/4 gunpowder was too much, so maybe... 1/2? Worth a shot."

He flipped to a blank page and copied the schematic, changing the measurements and labeling it "Explosive Arrow V2".

"... Could keep the other one, rename it 'High-Explosive'... Yeah. Now, for the 'Greek Fire' one... Maybe-"

There was a knock at the door, interrupting his thoughts. He quickly put down the notepad and grabbed a pistol, sitting still. They knocked again. Can't take any chances. He approached the door and opened it slowly, door chain still in place, pistol behind his back.

"Hello?"

Outside was a man, probably in his early 30's. He looked pretty winded, and was wearing a tank-top, with a tattoo on his shoulder.

"Hey, man, you got any cash to spare? I need some money for gas, it's an emergency."

Leo paused for a moment, trying to sense if there was any danger near, but relaxed.

"Yeah, sure. Let me get my wallet."

As closed the door, his sixth sense kicked in, reading the man's intentions.

CAN'T BE LATE
CAN'T MISS IT AGAIN
NOT ANOTHER BIRTHDAY


Yeah, he was legit. Leo grabbed his wallet, holstered his pistol, and opened the door. The man looked relieved.

"Oh, thank god, you were the only person to here willing to do me a solid!"

"It's no problem. How much you need?"

"$20! It's all I need!"


Upon closer inspection, Leo saw that the tattoo was a military one. Looks like he was in the infantry. He hands the man a $100 bill.

"Thanks, so- Wait. This is a 100. I just need 20."

"Keep it. Always good to help a fellow soldier."


The man looks puzzled for a moment, then realizes and looks at his tattoo, grinning.

"... You served too?"

Leo rolls up his sleeve, displaying his own tattoo.

"Marines. Marksman."

"... Thank you, sir!"

They both give a firm handshake. Leo smiles. Good feels were had all around.

"No need for that, my good man. We're both civvies. Now, wasn't there something important you needed to do?"

The man, his smile quickly dropping into shock, nodded and bolted away in the direction of the gas station. Leo stood there for another moment, smiling, before heading back inside. He sits back at the desk and picks up the pencil.

"... Speaking of gas, can't use gasoline, too expensive... Maybe Lighter Fluid..."

By the end of the day, Leo had another prototype in mind.
Hawke picked up the sword from the ground, looking with sadness as the mysterious infection took the man. Although they didn't really know each other, he knew Wilhem was a good man, and didn't deserve to go out like this. He spoke a few words of ease to the dead man:

"... Thank you, Wilhelm. May whatever comes next be better than this fate."

With that, Hawke aims the broadsword for a quick, clean kill through the mandibles and into the brain.
@Lucius Cypher@Darked13@Rune_Alchemist

Sorry, messed up my tags. Post is up.
Whoa. That was a big worm that just burst from the wall. And judging from the tremors that Xavier currently feels, that wasn't the only one. Remembering that his character had a movement ability, Xavier tried really hard to use his Light Dash. Fortunately, after realizing he had to actually move to use it, he dodged backwards just in time for the worm to burst the ground.

"Note to self: Move."

On the upside, he wasn't eaten like those standing around him. On the downside, there was a giant worm of death here. So yeah. There's a problem.

Xavier, now remembering that actual moves are a thing, tries to activate his "consecutive hits" ability. A barrage of punches seemed to be just what was need right now. Well, and some air freshener from all the corpses, but that can wait.

@Rune_Alchemist@Lucius Cypher@Darked13
10:25 PM, January 5th, 2026
San Fransisco, California


Arsenal re-adjusts the GoPro on his chest, then checks his phone to look at the chat. Messages fly by from the thousands of people watching, all trying to communicate with the man himself. Of course, Leo can't read them all, but some people opt to donate money in exchange for a special shoutout. That's what the bluetooth he's wearing is for. Arsenal re-reads a few messages.

CatchingZZZ ($20): Another action-packed night! Good Luck, Arsenal!

Bamboozled3395 ($15): Ey fam, any chance you could use a net arrow? Your trick arrows are the best ilu <3

Ligma420 ($1): Arsenal sucks Arsenal sucks Arsenal sucks wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww oh yes daddy


"Oof, looks like the mods gotta take care of that one..."

He puts his phone away and looks down from his rooftop perch at the meeting below. 10 guys, 5 from both groups. Two are meeting in the middle, a briefcase held by one as the other opens a trunk, showing the illegal contraband inside. What a lucky break, stumbling upon this. Arsenal readies his glue-trap and flash arrows, holding the two in his right hand as he steadies his shot.

"Now, as I've said before, what's about to happen isn't for the faint of heart. If you're under 18, you shouldn't even be watching, and if you're a real fan, you'll stop... Or at least watch with your parents."

As the trunk closes and the briefcase changes hands, Arsenal looses the Glue trap arrow. It hits the case directly and explodes on impact, trapping the briefcase and the men holding it against the trunk, in the special, quick-hardening polymer. The group doesn't even have time to be confused before Arsenal shoots the Flash Arrow, impacting the ground and exploding, blinding them all.

Arsenal fires a few broadheads in quick succession, hitting 4 grunts in the chest with arrows. Usually, that's enough to keep them down, but the third required a double-tap, another arrow flying into his abdomen. That put him down.

RETURNING FIRE

Arsenal moved out of the way as a volley of bullets sprayed his last location. Flash must've worn off. Probably wasn't bright enough. He made a mental note to add more aluminum, as he fired another arrow at the 5th criminal's arm, causing him to drop the rifle. The next one hit him in the chest, and he wasn't a problem anymore. 3 to go.

These last 3, however, were actually smart enough to take cover from the volley of arrows. They were hiding. Arsenal nocked an arrow, and made his way down the fire escape. He wasn't halfway down when he felt it.

SURPRISE ATTACK

Arsenal's arrow was already fully drawn when the man popped out from behind the nearby dumpster, and before he even pulled the trigger, an arrow was in his chest. That one was a little bit close to the heart. The hospital's gonna have a busy night. Arsenal continued his way down, hearing another message in his ear as he slid down the ladder:

Execute_iveAction ($50): My main man Arsenal, cleaning house! Doing what the cops wont.

Ah yes, a good donation to respond to. Arsenal readies another broadhead.

"Hey, guys, just because I'm risking my life doing this doesn't mean that the police-"

SURPRISE ATTACK

The 7th criminal charges Arsenal with his bat, only to be met with a quick arrow in the knee. He trips up and falls to the ground, shouting and clutching his knee.

"... Doesn't mean that the police don't risk their lives everyday to keep us safe. I'm just a bit more direct, that's all. Don't try this at home."

Arsenal approaches the car just as the two men shatter the glue. It can't even hold two men? He makes another mental note to change up the formula of the glue. It's still too brittle when it dries.

The two men look at Arsenal, then both start fighting over the briefcase. Well, at least they're still attached one way. He takes this opportunity shoot them both with his broadheads, firing both at the same time in a split. Both men go down, groaning in pain, and dropping the case.

"I wouldn't try to pull those out, if I were you. Very painful, and you'll probably bleed out. Just stay down."

Arsenal picks up the briefcase, sheathing his bow onto his back. Last guy probably booked it anyway. He opened it up and took a look inside, making sure the GoPro on his vest can see as well. The case contained a vast amount of money, with the case looking like someone really liked Benjamin Franklin. He could already tell the chat was going crazy. It is tempting...

SNEAK ATTACK

Arsenal had a hand on his pistol as he spun around, drawing it an instant and firing three shots into the man's chest, causing him to fall over and drop his tire iron. Those shots definitely punctured both lungs. Arsenal gets a better look, and the man can't be much younger than he is. Definitely not as smart, coming back instead of running.

"Oh, god damnit. You startled me! Look at what you made me do! You'd better pray the ambulance gets here quick."

As if on cue, the sirens came into earshot. Time to leave. Holstering his pistol and closing the briefcase, Arsenal takes out his bow and another Glue Arrow. He throws the case into the air and shoots it with the arrow, pinning it to a wall. It should hold, but this glue's ultimately flawed.

As Arsenal makes his escape, he addresses his fans.

"I know, I know. 'Arsenal, why didn't you take the money?! It's not even stealing! They probably stole it first!'. Yes. That's the point."

He takes off the GoPro and turns it to his masked face.

"That money is dirty. Stolen, Laundered, Counterfeit, Unmarked. Whatever. It's not right take it. That's just... wrong. I'm letting the police do their job as I finished mine. Stream's over, guys. See you later!"

And with that, he stops recording, and the camera turns off with a beep.


Name: Gabriel Hawke
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Race: Human

Background: Birn into a relatively wealthy noble family and once a soldier with a talent for killing bad guys, Lieutenant Hawke was court-martialed for killing his superior officer, following an ethically questionable but strategically sound order. He's spent the last 2 years behind bars.

Personality: Hawke gives off an aura of strength and passion, despite appearing disinterested. He also has a strong sense of justice, most likely what landed him here in the first place. Being a former military officer, he's a great tactician and fighter.

Weapons:

Prison Shank: A makeshift knife Hawke crafted, for defense.

Aether: Hawke's greatsword, currently on display in the warden's office. Pretentious dick.

Misc: Hawke's cell is currently located in the upper levels of the prison, with other "high security" inmates, in the infection-free zone. For now.
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