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Recent Statuses

17 days ago
Current Everybody gangsta till the IC starts
13 likes
24 days ago
@Asebi - Okay everyone but Asebi is a good person who can do great things with their lives.
2 likes
24 days ago
How's it goin' RPGuild, it's ya boi Simple Unicycle reminding you that you're a good person who can do great things with your life.
5 likes
3 mos ago
Remember kids, the "H" in Neon Genesis Evangelion stands for happiness.
9 likes
3 mos ago
They all gotta end sometime. I'd prefer an ending to the overall story rather than it just burning out and dying.
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Bio

Just some guy who does roleplays sometimes.



RPs I'm 'Blessing' With My Presence:
Absolute Comics
(Where I play an absolutely cuhrayzee monster hunter)
World of Light
(Where I play a guy who'll Dragon Kick your ass into the Milky Way)
Ruins of Norn: Another Side
(Where I play a barbarian with a big fucking sword)
Heroes Reborn: Prime Earth
(Where I play a different absolutely cuhrayzee monster hunter)

Most Recent Posts

January 2nd, 9:01 AM
Outlaws Supernatural Consultative Services, Hub City

Interacting With: @Tim @Blazion

The door to David's room opened with a resounding *THUD!* as the man slammed it open blearily. With a groan, David stumbled out of his room and made his way to the staircase to head downstairs and get some breakfast. He was never much of a morning person, despite making a habit of always waking up early, and the first hour or so he was up in the mornings was usually spent half awake in nothing but his boxers and a tank top.

David descended from the staircase, nearly tripping and falling halfway down, and opened up the fridge. Grabbing a slice of pizza and a bottle of Coke, his usual morning meal, he slammed the fridge shut and stood there while eating. Usually having something to eat and drink helped him wake up faster, and this case was no different, the bleary fog in his eyes clearing up a bit and his movements becoming less stiff. Still, he knew from experience that it'd be a bit before he was tip top and ready to take on the day.

David was in the middle of taking a bite when he heard a knock on the door. He looked to see if Leo was around, but the redhead was nowhere in sight. Probably up in his room still just getting up, or maybe out about town doing whatever. Shit, that meant that he had to answer the door. Hopefully, it was just Ted or something. Sighing in resignation, David set his drink down and began to finish up his pizza, taking a bite out of it as he walked over to and opened the door...

And before him wasn't Ted, but instead a woman.

And he was wearing a Karen Hernandez tank top and Mickey Mouse boxers while eating pizza.

Needless to say, this woke the monster hunter up quite a bit, and his eyes widened in shock as he looked the woman over. "Oh! Uh... I wasn't expecting anyone to come by this early!" He paused to give an awkward laugh, before falling back to a surprised and embarrassed expression. "Um, why don't you take a seat on the couch over there while I go get into something more modest and wake up my partner?" He pointed the couch out to the woman, before running upstairs with startling speed.

Groaning in embarrassment once he was up the stairs and out of the woman's sight, David shook his head. 'I wish I could say this was a first for me,' he thought to himself as he made his way to his room, stopping along the way to knock on Leo's door. "Hey Leo, we got a client, get into something decent and head downstairs." With that, he headed into his room and made a beeline straight for the dresser.


ISSUE #9
GEARING UP

Outside Blade's Shop
New York City, New York

When Quincy told Blade to call us if he had a job, I had expected him to wait a few weeks to call... Okay, to be perfectly honest, I didn't expect him to call at all. It would have been much easier for all of us, I think. I know that both Rachel and I didn't care for him, and Quincy, bless the poor old coot, didn't consider interacting with the dhampir to be a good time either. So imagine my dismay when not a day after Rachel and I had dropped him off at his home, we got a call from him.

"Yo Drake, got a job. Haul your dumbass over to my shop."

And just like that, he had hung up the phone. To my horror, Rachel seemed adamant to follow up on her comments to the man; she wouldn't go in my stead, or even tag along to make sure he and I didn't try to kill each other. "This is between you and him. I think you two have some differences to sort out before we can even think about going after Deacon Frost."

I tried to put up a fight, I really did, but in the end that damned woman wouldn't budge. So with more than a few grumbles and quite a few scowls, I had gotten into the van to drive to Blade's shop. Along the way, I considered ways to make this escapade less of a pain in the ass: chief among them was shooting Blade in the head every time he annoyed me, though after a moment I realized that doing that would just be wasteful. Even if it was awfully tempting.

By the time I decided that I'd just smack him over the head with the butt of my rifle every time he said something stupid, I had already arrived at the shop. It looked just like it had a day ago, a rather dingy brick building with chipped paint peeling off of the walls. There was a blank sign above the wooden doorway, waiting for the day the shop would be named. All in all, the place fit right in, what with this area being mostly an assortment of slum tenements and closed down office buildings.

Deciding not to forgo this any longer, I pushed open the door and entered the building.

As I walked in, I took a look around the place. Straight ahead of me was a desk with a messy stack of papers, a picture frame, and an old rotary phone resting on it. Sitting at it was the man himself, feet kicked up on the desk and mouth wide open as he snored rather loudly. I snickered at the sight despite myself. How charming.

Next to the desk was a pile of empty pizza boxes, and behind the chair that my new "partner" was napping in was a door and (more interestingly) weapons rack. A few swords were racked up against it, some of the blades steel and others silver, alongside an assortment of guns. The firearms ranged from the usual order, such as shotguns and pistols, to more oddball weapons, such as an antique flintlock. How in the world did he get a hold of that?

In the corner to my right was a jukebox, playing some pop song or another. Next to the jukebox was... A broken pool table? It appeared to have been broken in half right down the middle after something heavy hit it. Part of me didn't want to ask, but the other part of me was too morbidly curious to let it pass. I'd be sure to ask him some time, though right now I was more focused on getting to work.

Finishing my scan of the room was a staircase at the far left wall, leading up to a single door that I assumed was his bedroom. Overall, the place was rather spartan, with only the jukebox serving as decoration. Far less home-y than what Quincy, Rachel, and I had set up over at Bo's Arcade. It was almost sad how trashy the place was, though I suppose it fit the owner's apathetic nature.

Finally deciding to do something instead of continuing to stand around looking the room over, I made my way over to the desk and stared at Blade for a moment. He was still wearing his trademark sunglasses, because of course he would be the type to wear sunglasses indoors, and seemed to be out like a light. I tapped his shoulder. No response. I yelled "WAKE UP!" No response. Finally fed up, I hit him in the gut. Still no response.

How the hell can one man sleep so soundly?

Having had enough of this, I crouched down and grabbed hold of the chair by the legs. With a grunt, I began to pull, and finally yanked it out from under him. Blade fell to the ground with a *CRASH!*, his sunglasses clattering to the ground and the man himself finally waking up.

"WOAH WHAT I'M UP I'M UP!" He looked around frantically, a panicked expression painted on his face. I let out a chuckle at his expense.

"You better be," I replied, setting the chair down and taking a seat. "After all, we got a job to do, don't we?"

He squinted at me, before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "A job? Oh, right... Right..." Blade picked himself up, grabbing his shades off the floor and sticking them back on his face. After a moment spent composing himself, he gave me one of his usual grins, before turning to his weapons rack. He took one of the swords off of it, and I recognized the blade from our scuffle at the Blood Bath. Silver; that could mean anything from a vampire or werewolf to a rabid goblin or harpy-minotaur hybrid (I shuttered at the thought of those... Things).

"What are we hunting?" I asked, while silently praying it wasn't a harpotaur.

"Bloodsuckers, Drake! Figured you'd be hype as hell for something like that, seems like your area of expertise." The word "expertise" came out with an undeniably mocking undertone. The bastard was taunting me. But I wouldn't bite back, much as God knows I wanted to. I wanted to keep things... Somewhat civil for now. Don't need him stabbing me in the back later.

So with an inward sigh, I gritted my teeth together and bit back a retort of my own. "Alright then buddy, let's get this over with." He looked quite surprised at that, perhaps expecting me to go for the bait, but simply shrugged and nodded. Good.

I led him out of his shop and into the van, hopping into the driver's seat. Putting the keys into the ignition, I started the van up and unlocked the back door so he could get into the back seat... Only for him to climb right into the passenger's seat next to me. I mentally berated myself for a moment. Damn, I forgot to lock it.

"... You really don't have to sit he-"

He silenced me with a loud "SHHHHH!", before turning on the radio and fiddling with it a bit. "Gotta have full radio control!" After a moment of watching him randomly tune in and out of various stations, I finally slapped his hands away from the controls and glared at him.

"We have a job to do. Give me the details, and do be quiet after you do."

To my surprise, he relented, sticking his hands up defensively. I quietly turned off the radio, which had settled on some sort of sermon radio show. "A'ight, a'ight, no need to get your panties in a twist Captain Jockstrap. Few blocks north of here, old warehouse on the edge of the suburbs. Got an anonymous tip that a feral vampire's been hanging out there."

I nodded. "Alright. Let's go." A few blocks north of here, old warehouse, feral vampire. I could work with that. With everything sorted out, I double checked that I had all my gear ready in the back seat, and began to drive. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after a-

"So are we there yet?"

I spoke too soon.
Boom, second character bitches... And fuck me it's another orphan.

Posted. Y'know, to get the campaign going again. Hopefully.


The disgusting odor from the corpse rose up and into Todd's nose, causing the barbarian to release a dry heave and pinch his nostrils shut. "Damn, that ought to be the rankest thing I've ever smelled..." Still, he kept on the look out, noting that there had been other monsters in this area recently, and there were more around. None waiting to ambush them, but he didn't want to stick around for too long just in case. "We better get to searchin' for supplies, don't wanna stick around and meet the thing that done this."


Level 1 - (8/10 EXP) + 1 = 9/10
Difficulty Level 1
Location: Peach's Castle Courtyard -> Paved Wilderness
Word Count: 706


After all the heroes had left, the courtyard had fallen into a calm, with only the various fauna still around. Pokemon were grazing, interacting and playing with each other, and occasionally scaring off any monsters that got too close. All in all the place carried a rather scenic and graceful beauty. Indeed, nothing could ruin it...

"OH CRAP! I'M LATE!"

The shout disturbed the nearby creatures, and it didn't help when front door of the castle was slammed open, startling them further. The man who opened the door didn't waste a second before beginning to sprint, his feet carrying him away from the castle at a speed like no other. He spotted some fresh tracks from when the heroes' convoy had taken off, and followed it in the hopes of catching up.

Gene was quite thankful for the God Hand in that moment, as it enhanced his speed and allowed him to run at the speed of one of the karts. It got a bit tiring after a while, but he was in decent enough shape to keep up with the karts... If he caught up with them, that was. He really hoped they hadn't gone too far ahead.

The brawler thought back on the previous night. He had went to bed sadly sober, but after all that had happened, he had been more than a little exhausted. Add to that his notorious habit of being a deep sleeper, and he had awoken quite a while after all the others had already left. At first, he chocked up the quiet castle to him waking up earlier than the others, which was a miracle in and of itself. But it wasn't until he went to get breakfast in the kitchen and noticed the kitchen staff cleaning an array of dirty dishes that he realized he wasn't early; he was very, very late.

"CRAP CRAP CRAP! I'VE GOTTA CATCH UP TO THEM!" Gene shouted to no one but himself, continuing to speed forward. As he followed the tracks left behind by the karts, he noticed that the terrain had started to get rougher, and he almost tripped up a few times over the jagged rocks. Eventually, he came across a jump over a pit, and began to pick up in speed.

He took in a deep breath, sped up, and...

Leaped over the pit and landed on the other side!

Gene stopped to take a breath for a moment, laughing in amazement. He had made a few jumps like that before, even a few over multiple moving platforms hanging over a near bottomless pit, but man, he never quite got used to it. He continued forward, passing by a large plateau, when he finally saw the convoy! He had caught up with them!

He continued running forward, before stopping after noticing something odd...

There was a bunch of bandit cars attacking.

And a friggin' giant!


He stood back and watched for a moment, noticing that the giant looked similar to that Centurion guy he had met last night in the kitchen! So thankfully, that meant that guy was on their side, but the other big cars? No, those guys were definitely not friendly if them attacking the others was anything to go by. A few of the others had started attacking, a few of them handling the ice cream truck while the giant and Bowser Jr. went for the monster truck. He needed to get in there and help them!

But... Even with all his skills, he couldn't just start punching moving vehicles! He needed something, some sort of power-up so he could jump into the fray without worrying about taking damage! If only there was...

Gene facepalmed.

He had the friggin' God Hand. The thing that made him invincible.

He slapped a hand onto the Deistic Brace and prepared to take it off, while running into the fray. As soon as he was close to one of the bandit vehicles, what appeared to be a buggy piloted by a strange looking man and an orange creature, he ripped off the Brace and felt the power of a God flow through him!

"BUUUUURN!" Gene yelled, before running forward and attempting to leap onto the buggy to disable it.
<Snipped quote by Rondo of Blood>

♫ Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap ♫


Filthy acts at a reasonable price.
@Simple Unicycle as Blade - Last Posted 15 Days Ago, 1 Day Overdue.


Still here boss. Just been reeling from Retired's savage feedback adjusting after moving a few states away. I'll be sure to get something up before the week is out at the very least, if not in the next day or two.
January 1st, 8:05 AM (Central Standard Time)
Outlaws Supernatural Consultative Services, Hub City

Interacting with: @Tim

"Huh?" David finally noticed what was playing. "Oh, her." Despite himself, he began tapping his foot slightly to the music. Oh God, this song was his jam. Of course, no one but him knew he was a Karen Hernandez fan, and he knew that if Leo or any of his associates knew they would never let him live it down. So he slowly picked up the remote and went back to channel surfing. Still, he decided to grace with a response.

"Yeah, I was there for the Battle of Hub City, spent most of the night holed up in a shelter. Just sitting there waiting to find out if we'd been liberated or damned. Can't imagine what it would've been like for a kid." Technically speaking, he was a kid then, but he meant a younger kid. Having all that you know get destroyed right in front of your eyes isn't easy. He should know.

He shook his head, pushing those thoughts away. Finishing his pizza and drink, David sighed and looked to Leo. "Well, was nice catching up with you bro, but I'm gonna head upstairs and wait for someone to call. Just yell if you need me." With that, he pushed himself up off the sofa and walked up the stairs to get dressed and lounge around in their office.

Just a nice, normal day.
January 1st, 8:05 AM (Central Standard Time)
Outlaws Supernatural Consultative Services, Hub City

Interacting with: @Tim

David continued to flip through channels, going from the monster trucks to an infomercial to a kids show and finally landing on a music video before Leo took a seat next to him. He considered his friend's words for a moment, thinking back. "Say, didn't we still have a few bucks left from that..." He trailed off, wondering where that money went, before snapping his fingers in recollection. "Wait, no, we spent that on parts for the Highwayman. Shit."

He took a swig from his drink and finished up his slice of pizza. Getting up to grab another slice, he continued to speak. "Anyway, I know those aren't the monsters we usually handle, but you have to admit it. Seeing massive trucks just completely obliterate a bunch of tiny shit is awesome." He took another bite of pizza and talked around it. "Either way, next job we get, we're taking it. I wanna see some monster trucks."
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