tobiax

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

@Raddum Like the way you think.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

Fair warning: I can get a bit twisted with concepts.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

@Rai Sweeeet.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

@RaddumDitto.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

When I already replied with "I wish you luck in future, and I'll be abstaining from joining" already points this out. It's like going out of your way to fire someone that already graciously quit.

@SleepingSilence

Don't act like I can't see the post was edited.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

@SleepingSilence The Digimon wiki is a fan made site. I was only addressing your writing quality. Writing quality which, I may point out, is sub standard for the Advanced section, which, in case it escaped your notice- which happens to me from time to time- we are in right now.

In reference to Alex Honda's character sheet, the list (which is not "literal endless", but eight) only serves to accentuate the existing bio, which would be fine on its own. And I'd prefer you not mud-sling other people's characters, thanks.

Honestly, if you're not going to be receptive to constructive criticism, and you aren't willing to improve your writing quality, you may as well not join.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

@tobiax The repeated and numerous techniques nearly follow the (mostly) in-cannon move-set for the characters line. So that's why the characters have the movesets they have. Can we have non-cannon movesets? If so I'll just make up my own abilities in editing.

@SleepingSilence

That's not the main point. You have too many Techniques on the majority of your Digimon stages for their level. For Nyaromon, you have two extra versions of the exact same move with names that have no citation on the source provided. For Salamon, it's rare for Digimon to have three Techniques for any individual Rookie to use. And having two attacks named "Darkness Wave" for Lady Devimon is just silly.
Also, big leap of logic there bub.

(Also, was I blind or was that something not added for clarification on the intro page? That's usually where you should put all that stuff, if it differs from the norm.)

@SleepingSilence

What I mentioned really doesn't differ from the norm. That is the norm.

Ah, one of those. I had a sneaking suspicion that every time I assume we're going to start in media res. We end up going to the "it starts before anything/everything" deal. That really needs to be listed on every introduction/OOC page before people have to redo all their stuff. :P (If that is, my mistake.)

But again, it won't take me that long to fix.

@SleepingSilence

Yeah... character sheets aren't really in media res. Like ever.

Also, to properly explain why he fits knowledge. He has private knowledge of many things through hacking, and he uses that knowledge (and obtains it) in a corrupt manner. I think a manipulative sociopath (who are often highly intelligent.) works pretty well in that regard...and I gave him some actual character. So he wouldn't have to be an outright villain character, if we were suppose to be hero (anti-hero) archetypes. I don't get why "social" and especially "capable" (separate words in my personality sheet), can't be a "hacker" to you?

@SleepingSilence

It didn't come across in the character sheet.
And because being a hacker- especially one that's any good, takes time. Lots of time. And time is a limited resource.

Actually, I was going to ask if you could be more specific in what exactly feels fragmented? The separate paragraphs all have a connecting theme. But I'm fine with editing that too. I could probably do better anyway.

@SleepingSilence

The writing as a whole. Sentences are short and disconnected. Some of them, honestly, are just fragments. They don't have flow in themselves, and don't flow to the next sentence after. As a result, it was hard to understand, and a bit bloated if I may be frank.

If you want me to just simplify it further. Because just looking at the other character sheets. Personality isn't even separately elaborated on, so I don't know how those characters will actually interact or behave much at all. And is mixed into the background/life details. So if you want me to mimic that. I can clear my sheet off and do so. (Just need my queries answered first. So I know what I'm doing. :3)

@SleepingSilence

See, this is making me think that you didn't read any other character sheets really. Because while most were on the shorter side, yes, they had enough information, yet were succinct enough, to know who the character is. The reason that it's just "Bio" and not "Biography" and "Personality" is because, honestly, I didn't want the character sheets to be over-bloated brick walls of text. Furthermore, it's so show what their personality is and, more importantly, why, in one place, instead of sprawled out in two places.

I also already thought sincerity was one of the empty slots? (So does that mean you're waiting on another person? Or well, how many players would you like before you'd consider starting?)

@SleepingSilence

Yes. Because someone just left before you showed up. Enter's just quick on the edit I guess.

Anything else I should know about? That's been discussed for the future plot that has yet to be added in the beginning of the OOC page?

@SleepingSilence

Nope, WYSIWYG.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

@SleepingSilence Let's start at the beginning: No, it's never smart to write drunk. Or almost never. I don't know you that personally.
First of all- there's the sometimes repeated and over-numerous Techniques between In-Training and Ultimate level. Baby and In-Training Digimon can only have one technique, almost as a rule. Rookies can have one or two, but not usually three, and the maximum number of Techniques a Digimon can have in most situations is four.

Secondly- the characters shouldn't even know what Digimon are- and the Digimon shouldn't know humans are real- before they meet each other, so that's another thing that needs to be changed.

Now, for the big stuff. The entire bio is rather choppy and fragmented, to the point where it barely feels like it's about the same character. A once-over to repair the flow would help a lot. In addition, the traits you gave your character are so un-explained and numerous that they don't seem to apply to the same person, especially with the inter-cut talk about his father. I don't really have any idea about who the character is, really, nor does he give much of a knowledge vibe. Plus the "is expertly socially capable but also a hacker but also a terrible" vibe is just... yeah, that doesn't work.

So, yeah, there's some restructuring to be done, and maybe try for a different Crest if you want. We did just have the Sincerity player drop, so that could be a good place to try and not be gunning after an aspect to which anyone may have gotten attached.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

And seeing as both pm's and subscriptions come up as notifications, you don't really need to tell me that. I also have a personal habit of checking PM's before threads as an aside.

Digimon: Digital Monsters- V3

@SleepingSilence We also have enough people that multiple characters shouldn't be a problem. Or, if it comes up, characters already submitted and those in the minds of the GM's would probably be prioritized.