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Recent Statuses

5 days ago
Gotta go buy more soda, BRB
10 days ago
Midsummer Eve tomorrow... Time to go stock up on soda at the store. BRB:
1 like
3 mos ago
All hail our Lord and Savior! ... THE EASTER BUNNY!!
2 likes
3 mos ago
Am I the only one who hates electronic ID and all that it has brought? Maybe I'm just an old kermudgeon...
5 likes
4 mos ago
I am my own, greatest enemy! ... But you're a close second
2 likes

Bio

  • I don't use social media, discord or google docs.
  • I suffer from Retinitis Pigmentosa and use a text-reading software to get through other peoples' posts.
  • I'm rude, short-tempered and unserious. I'll likely say things that'll upset, offend, annoy and/or infuriate you.
  • I make dumb jokes, have dark humor and enjoy beating the dead horse with a stick.
  • I'm a hopeless, unabashed and unapologetic perv. I like my lewd.
  • I consider roleplaying a hobby and a pass-time, not art.
  • I do anime-roleplay and only anime-roleplay.
  • If you've never roleplayed with me earlier or never spoken to me through a topic before, please don't send me PMs.

Most Recent Posts

Forgotten Ruins, East roads & alleys, near the East Gate


What's up with these guys? They tell me to go running in and drawing all the aggro, then they start yelling and whining when I do? Jeez, it's not like they didn't have time to get ready while I was standing around, distracting that fool on the walls... They're like total AFK'ers, getting pissy about someone pulling a mob just 'cuz they stood around, twiddling their thumbs and watch8ing shity reality shows when they should be focused on the dungeon... No wait, these are real people, right? ... Doesn't that make it worse though? If they can't adapt, how have they all survived!?

Many throughts were flying through the dracokin's head, as she stood silent and unmoving while the oncoming bulk of the Imperial guards charged at her. That is, until from a distant part of the area, she could hear the paladin-dude's voice. He was shouting something about a monster who had killed hundreds of people and ate the hearts of men and kicked little white puppies, or some such. The implication that this person was Serafaye herself completely flew over the girl's head though, so she remained confused as to what he was trying to do or accomplish with this stunt.

Vani, in turn, would find that the Imperial troops had little interest in anything anyone who wasn't a member of their army had to say. To that end, the paladin would have been pelted with a storm of arrows, had it not been for the rising smoke created by a certain masked mage. The black, billowing smog was far more distressing to the soldiers than the ravings of some random elf... Well, at least as far as the archers were concerned. The remaining dozen or so grunts still on the ground, who had remained by the gate, now began moving towards the elven knight's positiion, inten t on apprehending him the same way their much larger force intended to apprehend Serafaye...

... Until a certain monstrous reptile-man suddenly leapt from the shadows and started flailing about, smashing metal armor as if it were paper and picking up grown men and using them as whack-a-mole mallets against their fellow soldiers. At the sight of the surreal scene, Serafaye could do little more than stand and stare in sheer dumbfounded disbelief. If there had ever been any doubts about this still being Oubliette Online, they had been thoroughly smashed to bits by this sudden act of gratuitous violence - because no class, no job and no matter what level you were, there was nobody who could pick up other players or monsters and use them as make-shift crocket-mallets...

Glancing backwards, Serafaye noticed that the hoity-toity horse-riding woman had put up some sort of shelled dome... A strange thing to do, considering the archers couldn't very well fire that far back into the alleyway, nor were any of the soldiers - who were now being tossed around and gut-punched by Kaze - advancing far enough to even get close to that position. In essence, it was a complete waste of both time and amgic and wasn't condusive to their plans at all. If she had magic to spend, she should be attacking, not playing defense... At least, that was Serafaye' humble opinion on the matter.

However, even if things hadn't gone exactly as planned, the bottokm line was that all of the guards and soldiers at the gate were currently summarily distracted. Be it by the smoke, the obstinate horned girl, the berserkign lizardman or the raving paladin elf, it was safe to say that the Imperial garrison at the east gate had been truly and utterly occupied with a variety of scenarios and distractions which had left them in a bit of a mess. This state of flustered confusion and chaos leant itself well to the plans of Cecilia, and her intent of attacking the archers while everyone else acted as noise. Along with Annabelle and the little blob-creature Carpenter, the two spellblades sprung to action and, each using their own method, advanced forward and managed to get onto the gate walls proper.

Though while things were working out for the two ladies, Kaze would be grimly reminded that even if you were big and burly, charging into a mass of armed men - even if you had protection - wasn't always a good idea. While initially his attack had caught the soldiers off-guard and his sheer, massive visage had instilled momentary fear and hesitation, the Imperial soldiers quickly responded to his vicious attacks with their own. True, many of the swords that attempted to strike the reptilian warrior glanced off his armor, or failed to break through his scales... However, Kaze would learn that spears were still not his friend, and the men who had been at the very back of the advancing force had drawn theirs, and were now using them to keep distance between themselves and this new adversary.

While Kaze's use of the human cudgel was... Effective... It also meant that, even with his greater than man-strength, his movements were slower and more predictable, which leant itself to the spearmen being able to mostly avoid any incoming blow from their brother-in-arms-turned-blackjack. Small pokes, sharp thrusts and quick jabs, the lizardman was being porcupined by the spear-wielders. Meanwhile, the swordsmen who had initially been caught next to him, began to back off and give as much berth as they could, though the alley didn't exactly give them a lot of room to work with. Still, it was enough for most of them to get out of harm's way.... Most of the one's still concscious or able to stand, at least... The pile of crumpled bodies on the ground spoke volumes for the lizard warrior's brute power.

"Hey! Lay off the lizard-bro, you jerks!" Serafaye suddenly shouted, angrily stomping her foot, as a beligerent child would do when upset.

Little attention was given to the girl though, as the men and women of the Imperial forces now focused their attention on bringing down the scaly behemoth before them! ... That is, until Serafaye picked up one of Kaze's crumpled victims, as if he was a ragdoll, and tossed him at the opposition, causing a crashing and clanking of metal as two soldiers collided with one antoher. heads turned and eye stared in disbelief at the little, waifish girl, who had just thrown a fully armored man as easily as she would have thrown a pine cone...

"What the hell are these guys!?" A soldier cried out, face pale and eyes widened.
"Stand your ground! Bring down the lizard first, then we deal with the girl!"
"Is she really a monster like that guy screamed!?"
"No, it's the lizard who's the monster! S-She'll eat us!"
"Don''t falter, fiii-uuuurghh!!"

The last man got cut off, as a side-swipe from Kaze caused him to collide witht he human cudgel, sending him careening across the street. As the morale of the men fighting Kaze and Serafaye faltered, the reamainign dozen soldiers heading for Vani quickly approached. And now with Cecilia and Annabelle atop the walls, the archers would soon find themselves in a tight spot. Still, if Artemisia or Locke were intending to offer any additional support for their allies, the time to do so was now...
Yinha and Kaze's epilogue:

And so they lived happily ever after, and had many Half-Elfizard babbies.
Yeah, don't think I'll be able to get a post up this week. Brain's going no places, so just arrange for Cecilia to follow whoever wherever.

... A bit last minute, but alright. Next time, please make sure to contact me in advance
if you (or anyone else for that matter) are having issues coming up with a post. I'm always willing to help you out, be it with a collab or just general brainsatorming.
"Look a monster in a woman's guise, she eats men and children!"
*Giant-ass lizard bursts from the shadows of the alley and starts beating soldiers up by using other soldiers as bludgeons*
":.. Which one?"
"... Y'know, I'm not sure myself anymore..."

EDIT:


45 Minutes left until deadline, myurp.
Ever heard of boomerangs? ^^
Exactly, there's plenty of stuff to do. Like throwing yourself at the baddies! Or throwing your shield at the baddies! Or throwing Locke at the baddies! Or pulling out the sword in Kaze's belly and throwing it at the baddies! Or fondling Yinha's chest infront of the baddies to make them jealous, before throwing her at the baddies!
A little less than 11.5 hours left until deadline. Meow.
Heatwaves suck. I'm satill here though, just waiting for Team Procrastinatiors to get on with their postage.

@OwO
I'm glad to see someone taking the initiative in being tired and exhausted from this whole ordeal. Even with high mana-pools and lotsa INT, you're still low-level scrubs who aren't supposed to sling spells and magic around like it ain't no big tha-eng. So its nice to see someone taking the plunge and being the very first to actually become winded and weak from over-exertion. Good job! *pats on head*
Post is up. Enjoy, and let's hope your plan works.
Forgotten Ruins, East roads & alleys, near the East Gate


Serafaye let out an internal sigh within her mind. It seemed everyone had to have an opinion. Most of which seemed to include her, in one way or another, peforming some feat of impossible proportions. Really though. Knock down a wall? Was she supposed to be that one legendary, green-skinned super hero from the 21st century who was all buff and bulky and mad all the time? And what was with that horse-riding lady? She was born rude, or was she just having on the rag or what? So she'd lose her horse, big frikkin' deal. Was she so lacking in money that she couldn't throw a mount away? ... Wait... Right, this wasn't a game... Horses might actually be pretty expensive.

Still, the general consensus seemed to be that they should draw the attention of these Empire-dudes into a narrow alley and then either beat the tar outta them, or do some fancy-smanshy fenagling to get up and behind them. Really though, even if she wasn't a tactical genius, the whole idea of getting onto the walls and taking on the archers seemed kinda half-baked... After all, what was stopping the bowmen from just unloading on anyone who got onto the walls, even if they risked hitting their own guys? Back in the previous alley-fight they hadn't stopped to help their own after they got blinded and misfired into some of their allies' backs.

Still, some addressing of the situation needed to be done.

"Uhm, I'm glad ya'll think I'm crazy-strong or whatever, but I'm pretty sure I can't knock down a solid stone wall... 'Sides, what'd we do if it crashed down ontop of us? While I'm sure I could survive being crushed, I'm not so sure about you guys... And I'm pretty sure I can't survive being suffocated either.." The girl said, forcing a small laugh as she scratched the side of her cheek with one of her index fingers. "Also, I'm not so sure I want to test the limits of my supposed invulnerability... The only reason I did that back before was because I took an arrow to the skull and didn't die, so I was in a bit of daze. I'd really rather not count myself as some kinda impenetrable physical wall. After all, I'm a sorceress, so fighting up and close ain't really my style, y'know?" She elaborated.

Still, the party seemed to be mostly moving forward with this idea of theirs... And the girl with the spear seemed to be barking out commands positions like it was no big thing. Was she the party leader or something? She did seem to know the others by name... Well, of course! Any group of adventurers had to have a party leader, that's just common sense! After all, there was no way a bunch of random folk would just team up on a whim and form a makeshift, loosely knit confedracy of convenient and mutual benefits, right? That was like, looking for a group to do a dungoen and partying up with whoever was in the queue, regardless of their class or level! Surely there was no way these guys were nothing short of a tightly-knit, close and chummy group of seasoned warriors!

"W-well... Whatever, if that's the plan you wanna go with. Alright, here I go then." Serafaye said, shrugging and casually throwing her arms half-heartedly into the air, before turning on her heels and heading down one of the streets.

It didn't take long for the clicking of her heels to stop, as she turned a corner and came out close to one of the east-most ring-roads. The roads that went all around the ruins in a giant circle, connecting all the gates together. It was a design meant for practical use, so that one didn't need to actually travel into the city proper to get from one end to another. As she exited the slightly shadowy alley, taking a single step out into the open, a voice called from above.

"HEY YOU, GIRL! STOP RIGHT THERE!"

Seriously, were thesse guys really not NPCs? She could've sworn the last fellow shouted the exact same thing, in the exact same voice. This time though, it wasn't a feather-plumed helmet-man who yelled, but a regular mook, holding what looked like a very low-tier bow trained down at her. An arrow was nocked and it looked like the guy was really doing his best to restrain an urge to just let go and loose his projectile on him. Serafaye looked up at him, blinking a few times with her lone visible eye, and then cracked a big, bubbly smile.

"Hiya~!" She shouted back, in a high-pitched, energetic voice that caused the guy to give her the most incredulous stare she might have ever had to endure.
"Stay right where you are! You're under arrest! We've got a straggler, hey, get over here and get her!" The soldier loudly half-shouted, getting the attention of his fellow guards.
"What am I being arrested for?" Serafaye called back towards him, both hands held next to her mouth to form a focal cone for her voice.
"Be quiet! All non-Imperials are to be detained by command of the General!" The man boomed back down from his perch.

Serafaye snorted.

"I don't really give a crap about what he wants though! So could you just let me pass?" She called back up.
"LIKE HELL! GET HER ALREADY!" The spited soldier roared.

At this point, there were a great many footsteps coming from both north and south of the dracokin's location. Turning her head to look, she could see at least ten coming from the north and another eight coming from the south... So, she hadn't managed to draw in all of them. Understanble though, nobody would send three dozen fully armed men to apprehend one teenage-looking girl. At this point, several other of the archers atop the wall had also moved towards the location of the little lass, joining their rude initial spotter in aiming their bows at her. Really though, all this just for a single person? Either these guys were really dedicated to their duty, or really jumpy and paranoid.

"Y'kno0w what? I think I'll just head back the way I came~! See ya!" Serafaye called back up, before beginning to slowly walk backwards.
"HALT!"
"Bit me!"
"WHY OU LITTLE-! FIRE!!"

The swishing and sound of air being cut by flying arrows followed momentarily. Luckily, most of the arrows missed, striking either the walls on Serafaye's left side, to the north, or hitting the ruined cobblestone street with no other effect than bouncing harmlessly or breaking. A single arrow did manage to graze the girl's horn, but she neither felt anything more than a tickle, nor did it seem to do any actual harm. Her invulnerability seemed to still be functioning.

Of course, her slow, slow retreat and backing up was soon caught up to by the eighteen or so men that came from both directions. They stood at the mouth of the alley, swords and spears drawn, glaring at her menacingly as they began to advance with brisk, uniform steps. They walked shoulder to shoulder, in a rows of four - as you couldn't really go any wider, due to the narrow and confined space of the backstreet. The arhcers back on the walls had clustered up even more, but had for the time stopped firing, waiting for their melee-oriented brothers in arms to capture the little trollop.

"There's no use in trying to escape girl! Just surrender and come with us quietly!" One of the men in the very front row barked.
"You do realize you guys tried to shoot me just now, right?"
"Silence! If you don't wanna die, kneel down and don't resist!"
"I tried that once, and you lot slapped me for it... So I think I'll pass."
"Enough of this!" The impatient Imperial snarled, somehow offended by the cheek of this girl.

And so the block of soldiers charged, letting out battlecries as if they were charging an enemy army... Except it was one, unarmed, teenage girl... Who was standing perfectly still...

Brave soldiers of the Empire, we salute thee!
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