Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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@LordDeadpool Deepest apologies about the delay, life happened, things needed doing.
To start, I'd like to verify your familiarity with the template we've provided for character sheets.
You also seem to be making a lot of assumptions about Dwarves, and of the lore behind Arkangrad as well.
I urge you to examine the first OOC post and to adjust your character to reflect what is written there.
Based on what I've seen, this will likely not be the full extent of necessary changes to get Dendrin to fit.


Yes I have used that cch (character creation sheet) and adapted it to fit my character a bit better. As for me makeing assumptions, its in no small part me not knowing the lore, far from it, I have looked it over and turned it 360* so I can get as much info as I can, but the thing is that there is not much info for me to go of off, the races most of all. The bit regarding the Dwarves is wage at best and dos not give me enough information to make a better assumption then the one I have. And my final point: This is why I kept nagging you guys to check my cc and to give me more info and/or to tell me to piss off
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Myr
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@LordDeadpool I take it, then, that Dendrin does not have any magical ability whatsoever? According to a for-some-reason-not-mentioned-in-the-OOC communique, 400 is considered 'really old' for a dwarf, and Dendrin is downright decrepit, by that metric. Other errors of note:
Arkangrad has only existed for 50 years, give or take a couple months.
We already have an instructor for such things as combat. His name is Glynn, and he is played by none other than Cruallassar
The 30 or so spelling and grammar errors. We aren't asking for perfection, but, come on, man.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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@LordDeadpool I take it, then, that Dendrin does not have any magical ability whatsoever? According to a for-some-reason-not-mentioned-in-the-OOC communique, 400 is considered 'really old' for a dwarf, and Dendrin is downright decrepit, by that metric. Other errors of note:
Arkangrad has only existed for 50 years, give or take a couple months.
We already have an instructor for such things as combat. His name is Glynn, and he is played by none other than Cruallassar
The 30 or so spelling and grammar errors. We aren't asking for perfection, but, come on, man.


Yes he is a no magic character and as for the age thing I was going to set it at 300 something, but be cos there is no specific info on how long a dwarf can live I just thought in the ball park of 600 to 700 years old. As for the years of how long Arkangrad has bin around, thats a mistake on my end. Sense the CQC of my guy is a no go are the other two classes a go go? And the grammar stuff is a small problem that most of the people that know me ( I.E neo, crull and electra to name some) can get around with no problem cos it only happens whit specific words and to add to this english is my second language
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by neogreggory
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"You get fooled to easely lad. You remind me of an ifrit I met ones. He got suckered in to binding him self to a lamp!"Dark red

Name: Professor Dendrin Blackiron Dark red

Race: Dwarf

Gender: Male

Age: 460 years old

Appearance: His face <Snipped quote>

Dendrin stands at 1.4m tall which is about average for a dwarf. His hear was ones a dark brown, but do to age and stress its has become lighter in color, his beard is near complete white save for his mustache and the corners of hie beard. His eyes are dark green and full of steel. His skin tone is a slightly darker as he has spent a lot more time on the Surface then most dwarfs. He is rather muscular and fast for his size

Skills: Dendrin, like most dwarfs, is a master craftsmen and smith, tell him to make a dozen recurved sword in 3 weeks, he'll do it in two and make every one of them like it was a work of art, tho his preferred line of craft is wood working. On top of this and his age, he has a grate deal of combat experience as he has bin a part of men battles and wars, the last war included

Personality: Do to his long life, Dendrin has seen a good deal of good and bad in the world, do to this he is a bit cynical and a good deal grouchy. He tends to talk a good bit when he picks up a train of thought or a topic, often times going off the topic that was actually going on. He can, and has, chewed some ones ear off when he starts to berate some one for doing something stupid, tho he dos this not out of anger but out of good intentions

Bio: Dendrin, unlike most of his race was a traveler, as where his parents, as a matter of fact, he was born on one of the trips his parents where takeing. His clan, the Blackiron dwarfs, where one of the lucky ones, in the sense that there stronghold was nod destroyed, do to its specific location deep under the alps. At the start of the war, the blackiron clan was one of the first dwarf clans to come out fully out hideing and give aid to the humans, do this the blackiron dwarfs have one of, if not, the strongest relationship with humans. Be cos of his long life and good deal of traveling amidst humans, he has seen a lot, both good and bad, tho he dos not resent it. In the early years of his life he had plied his trade as a smith and craftsmen form his mother and father be for seting off in to the world on his own to see it and to find more things to learn. Over the next 200 years he had seen a loot happen in the world of men,the rise and fall of empires, wars for freedom,the genocide of an entire people, and meeting other beings thought as myth, hell he even fought in some of the wars in the last 300 years. As of the last 60 years he has bin in the employ of Arkangrad as a professor of Gymnastics/ hand to hand combat and Workshop

I will add, change, edit, remove as needed @neogreggory @Cruallassar @Myr


@LordDeadpool
After some thought and discussion it has been decided that Dendrin is to be rejected. I apologize Lord_Deadpool but the spelling and grammar is simply not something we can look past. Unfortunately, since all our contact is over the written word your small problem is unfortunately anything but. I really like Dendrin I can not deny, but sadly in this space spelling is key and while a few misspellings or awkward sentences can be overlooked, your quality of writing simply does not do DP.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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<Snipped quote by LordDeadpool>

@LordDeadpool
After some thought and discussion it has been decided that Dendrin is to be rejected. I apologize Lord_Deadpool but the spelling and grammar is simply not something we can look past. Unfortunately, since all our contact is over the written word your small problem is unfortunately anything but. I really like Dendrin I can not deny, but sadly in this space spelling is key and while a few misspellings or awkward sentences can be overlooked, your quality of writing simply does not do DP.


I still want in and I still want to use my guy, so what the hell do I need to do to get in. As it stands the ONLY problem you seem to bring up is my spelling, Myr had pointed out that I did a lot of geuss work regarding the lore of the dwarfs,the reason for that is the lack of info on them, the info that is there is waaay to vage. SO, to summarize: you ar not leting me in do to my spelling and I want to know what I need time do to get in. And ľd like an answer in the next week not in the next century
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Cruallassar
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<Snipped quote by neogreggory>

I still want in and I still want to use my guy, so what the hell do I need to do to get in. As it stands the ONLY problem you seem to bring up is my spelling, Myr had pointed out that I did a lot of geuss work regarding the lore of the dwarfs,the reason for that is the lack of info on them, the info that is there is waaay to vage. SO, to summarize: you ar not leting me in do to my spelling and I want to know what I need time do to get in. And ľd like an answer in the next week not in the next century


I've not consulted the other GMs on the matter quite yet, but I suspect I am the voice of generosity on the matter, and will speak for all of us until informed otherwise, since you are so desperate for an answer.

There are two conditions for entry.
Firstly: You will please retain a modicum of respect for the GMs, their decisions, and their real lives. We are far longer-lived beings than you and possess the patience gained over such a time, as such, we have no need to keep to your schedule. Be honored that we considered your application for as long as we did instead of rejecting it outright due to the previously mentioned mistakes.

Secondly: You may be granted a total of ten strikes on both spelling and punctuation combined. This starts with your character application and will continue throughout the RP. We GMs will keep council and tally over your posts so as to keep a reasonable line of what is acceptable and what is a strike, that way you don't have to deal with my perhaps overly strict definition without assurance that others spoke in moderation of such. The moment you reach that ten strike limit is the moment your character is...removed. And be advised that this is over the course of the entire RP, not over any single post.

Now, with the understanding that this is a premature verdict and has not yet been discussed with my fellow GMs, you may consider re-submitting your character app if you find these conditions acceptable. If you would like to refrain from re-submitting it until we have a more unified voice, this is indeed recommended...however, you may find it useful to use that time for your edits. Rest further assured that I will acquire a final verdict within at most the span of a decade.

Signed: Your local GM who knows you and can get around your misspelled words with no problems,
-Cruallassar
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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<Snipped quote by LordDeadpool>

I've not consulted the other GMs on the matter quite yet, but I suspect I am the voice of generosity on the matter, and will speak for all of us until informed otherwise, since you are so desperate for an answer.

There are two conditions for entry.
Firstly: You will please retain a modicum of respect for the GMs, their decisions, and their real lives. We are far longer-lived beings than you and possess the patience gained over such a time, as such, we have no need to keep to your schedule. Be honored that we considered your application for as long as we did instead of rejecting it outright due to the previously mentioned mistakes.

Secondly: You may be granted a total of ten strikes on both spelling and punctuation combined. This starts with your character application and will continue throughout the RP. We GMs will keep council and tally over your posts so as to keep a reasonable line of what is acceptable and what is a strike, that way you don't have to deal with my perhaps overly strict definition without assurance that others spoke in moderation of such. The moment you reach that ten strike limit is the moment your character is...removed. And be advised that this is over the course of the entire RP, not over any single post.

Now, with the understanding that this is a premature verdict and has not yet been discussed with my fellow GMs, you may consider re-submitting your character app if you find these conditions acceptable. If you would like to refrain from re-submitting it until we have a more unified voice, this is indeed recommended...however, you may find it useful to use that time for your edits. Rest further assured that I will acquire a final verdict within at most the span of a decade.

Signed: Your local GM who knows you and can get around your misspelled words with no problems,
-Cruallassar


Regarding condition 1: The reason I have bin nagging you guys this much is cos I have had a lot of BS going on at work and other wise, which compounds in to me being very cranky and irritable and cos I am to used to massivecrafts forum speed of reply, which is relatively fast

Regarding condition 2: I am just gona take a shot in the dark and guess that this means my spelling/grammar as a whole if I am accepted and that If I make more then 10 mistakes regarding spelling/grammar I am out? If I am wrong do correct me on this

My point 3: If I ma going to make any edit regarding my guy I will need some more info on the dwarfs then there is atm (unless neo added it in the mean time then I will just go and take another look)

Final point: Its a small thing but, the way you formatted this reply sounds, at least to me, like you are talking down to me which irritates to no end. So I will kindly as you to not speak to me like that if it was intentional (If its not then I am sorry for writing this bit) and just speak to me normally like you would usually do

And thanks for a quick reply

Of note: Do you like tabletop games by any chance?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Cruallassar
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<Snipped quote by Cruallassar>

Regarding condition 1: The reason I have bin nagging you guys this much is cos I have had a lot of BS going on at work and other wise, which compounds in to me being very cranky and irritable and cos I am to used to massivecrafts forum speed of reply, which is relatively fast

Regarding condition 2: I am just gona take a shot in the dark and guess that this means my spelling/grammar as a whole if I am accepted and that If I make more then 10 mistakes regarding spelling/grammar I am out? If I am wrong do correct me on this

My point 3: If I ma going to make any edit regarding my guy I will need some more info on the dwarfs then there is atm (unless neo added it in the mean time then I will just go and take another look)

Final point: Its a small thing but, the way you formatted this reply sounds, at least to me, like you are talking down to me which irritates to no end. So I will kindly as you to not speak to me like that if it was intentional (If its not then I am sorry for writing this bit) and just speak to me normally like you would usually do

And thanks for a quick reply

Of note: Do you like tabletop games by any chance?


We know exactly why you've been nagging us. Not to sound insensitive...even though I am...but we don't care. If you have some real life things going on that may prove an interference, that is fine, feel free to tell us...but the mark of a mature RPer, which we know you should be by now, is that they can separate real life from the roleplay. Don't bring the irritation from your real life problems here. Please.

Your assumption is essentially correct.

Dwarf lore is up to my colleague to add, but I would recommend considering removing a few details from your backstory instead of replacing them. That way you give the impression you want without actually creating any conflicts with existing lore. If you don't want to do that, that's fine of course, it is your app...but such a thing is a skill that can be quite useful.

Finally, I was talking down to you, however this is normal when someone has irritated me. You don't irritate me, I won't irritate you, how does that sound?

Also, yes.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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<Snipped quote by LordDeadpool>

We know exactly why you've been nagging us. Not to sound insensitive...even though I am...but we don't care. If you have some real life things going on that may prove an interference, that is fine, feel free to tell us...but the mark of a mature RPer, which we know you should be by now, is that they can separate real life from the roleplay. Don't bring the irritation from your real life problems here. Please.

Your assumption is essentially correct.

Dwarf lore is up to my colleague to add, but I would recommend considering removing a few details from your backstory instead of replacing them. That way you give the impression you want without actually creating any conflicts with existing lore. If you don't want to do that, that's fine of course, it is your app...but such a thing is a skill that can be quite useful.

Finally, I was talking down to you, however this is normal when someone has irritated me. You don't irritate me, I won't irritate you, how does that sound?

Also, yes.


Well I will give it a wack or two of the hammer of editing to change (or remove) some stuff as even I who have made the app can tell that there are things that I have not added and need to remove

As for me asking if you liked tabletop games, hear is a link to something like it, you may or may not like it, if you dont feel free to bash me on the head with it
fabletop.com

(And neo I know you are there, so give me some more info on them dwarfs as there is not enough in what you posted in the races tab)
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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@neogreggory @Myr @Cruallassar
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Cruallassar
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Before we actually get to the character concept itself, you have reached 10 errors on the mispelled words "though" (Which you spell tho) and "due" (which you spell do, which is incorrect in this usage) alone. I am willing to grant you as many retries on the application as you like, or you may edit it to fit, but I thought you should know where you stand there.

By the way, those are just the most prolific of errors, you make more than just those. I recommend having a native English speaker proof-read your work, if one is available.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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Before we actually get to the character concept itself, you have reached 10 errors on the mispelled words "though" (Which you spell tho) and "due" (which you spell do, which is incorrect in this usage) alone. I am willing to grant you as many retries on the application as you like, or you may edit it to fit, but I thought you should know where you stand there.

By the way, those are just the most prolific of errors, you make more than just those. I recommend having a native English speaker proof-read your work, if one is available.


1. To avoid the you-are-not-in-cos-of-spelling thing, I have edited the parts that needed to be editied

2. The only way I can have some one proof-read what I have set down is if I have some one online thats a native english speaker help me, as I have NO ONE thats a native english speaker liveing any were near me

3. Would you be willing to help me then Crull?

@Cruallassar
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<Snipped quote by Cruallassar>

1. To avoid the you-are-not-in-cos-of-spelling thing, I have edited the parts that needed to be editied

2. The only way I can have some one proof-read what I have set down is if I have some one online thats a native english speaker help me, as I have NO ONE thats a native english speaker liveing any were near me

3. Would you be willing to help me then Crull?

@Cruallassar


1: You have edited the parts that I've mentioned, but not actually everything. Thought I'd point that out.

2: Or you could probably also type it into a word processor that tells you when words are spelled incorrectly...but it seems that is certainly a problem for you, isn't it?

3: I'd say I'd be happy to, but I don't have anywhere near that kind of time. And also wouldn't.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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<Snipped quote by LordDeadpool>

1: You have edited the parts that I've mentioned, but not actually everything. Thought I'd point that out.

2: Or you could probably also type it into a word processor that tells you when words are spelled incorrectly...but it seems that is certainly a problem for you, isn't it?

3: I'd say I'd be happy to, but I don't have anywhere near that kind of time. And also wouldn't.


Other then what you pointed out that needed spellchecking, I ran everything else throw google translate to be absolutely sure that it was correct, and regarding you not wanting to help me proof-read this app, I guess I will have to ask some one else then
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Cruallassar
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<Snipped quote by Cruallassar>

Other then what you pointed out that needed spellchecking, I ran everything else throw google translate to be absolutely sure that it was correct, and regarding you not wanting to help me proof-read this app, I guess I will have to ask some one else then


Ok...here is a bit of advice. There are a great many words in the English language that may sound the same as another word, but mean a different thing. For example, in this post here...

Throw: To make an object depart from you with significant momentum, i.e., to throw a rock at something or to throw a game of something, synonyms might be to cast or to propel something.

Through: To put something into and out of a place or system, i.e., to run everything else through google translate.

Another thing I notice is that you often separate what would normally be compound words. I don't usually count these as errors per say since they are technically correct either way, but for example, "to ask some one else then" might be made "to ask someone else then".

Fix that first and I bet you will be 80% of the way to being as good an English writer as you are an English speaker...and judging from the fact that you used the word "ensemble", correctly, that is actually pretty good.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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As crull has given me his, some what, verdict ( even though he really did not say whether or not he would approve it), and a bit of help as well, I would like to get a statement from the other two game overlords, @Myr and @neogreggory (with out pointing out the spelling as crull has already did that)
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Myr
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There are four total GMs: myself, Cruallassar, neogreggory, and Rune_Alchemist
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by LordDeadpool
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I asked for an opinion and/or verdict, not who else is a GM Myr. Regardless, give me your input on my new guy Myr, and if Rune shows up as well, hers too
@Myr @Rune_Alchemist @neogreggory
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Riddle Me This
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Hi-diddly-i, just wondering if this is still open for folks to join up? I've put a character sheet down below but if you're full up then no worries!


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@neogreggory @Myr @Cruallassar


I see no evident problem with Tartarus. I admit that I wish his magic was a bit more unique, I have this fancy magic system specifically so that people can blend things and come up with interesting new takes on magic but I won't fault Tartarus for sticking with the classics.
That said, I would ask you refrain from being rude to Myr, as he was just giving you information. Never be rude to someone who is trying to help you, frankly refrain from such things in general, but especially refrain from being rude to those who gift you with knowledge.

Anyways, I am not very good at examining and judging things, especially characters so while Tartarus does have the okay in my book I would hear from my three Co-GMs their thoughts on the matter.
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