Hidden 12 mos ago 12 mos ago Post by Mjolnir
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Mjolnir sʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏsɪs ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴ

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Since everyone posted theirs, I figured I would too. Here's one of my two :)



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Hidden 12 mos ago Post by Expllo
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Expllo pretty girls please manipulate me

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@Randomguy



@Theyra



@WhiteAngel25



@PatientBean



@Mjolnir



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Hidden 12 mos ago Post by Mjolnir
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Mjolnir sʟᴇᴇᴘ ᴘᴀʀᴀʟʏsɪs ᴅᴇᴍᴏɴ

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@ExplloThank you so much for the comments and feedback!





I appreciate you taking the time to give us your thoughts and critiques :) Can't wait to get into this RP!
Hidden 12 mos ago 12 mos ago Post by WhiteAngel25
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WhiteAngel25 The Original Cupcake Queen

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@Expllo I edited my character! Hopefully it helps a bit more.

Hidden 12 mos ago 12 mos ago Post by Randomguy
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Randomguy

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Edited the formatting for custom traits and added a specific spell and expand on the cooking part, also added motivation and some stuff about his family in relations.

I would also suggest, if you’re adding a skills section then also add a weakness section. This can be something mental, not just physical. Just to avoid your character coming across as only having positives and no negatives.


I'll just remove them for now, since it's not really intended to be something exceptional and also to make the sheet less cluttered, but just thing he has some training in, I included it since it's unorthodox for a mage, but he's just average at the crossbow thing and quarterstaff thing. But if you think it's better to include them, I'll add some weakness section too.

1. My problem starts at the second paragraph. While I have no problem with Laetans becoming a Magister, there are no canon characters as stated in the first line of the OP. Maevaris Tilani does not exist in this roleplay. I can provide you NPC Magisters you could have been an apprentice of.


Not a problem, we can use the magister you provided. I thought Tilani was a minor enough character that it falls more on 'background character' than 'canon npc' but I don't have specific attachment to Tilani. For more context since Dorian said that the magisterium seats are split between major families, chantry, and the circle of magi, Cadmus' seat is one of the seats from the Circle of Magi.

2. So, I admittedly had to read over the “arrested for blood magic” part to get a sense of where you were going with this. If I have it right, he wasn’t locked away for blood magic but it was instead a cover up to move him out of the way politically, correct?

Blood magic is legally accepted within Tevinter, and often associated with power and status. As such, it isn’t using blood magic that will get you in trouble but how you perform it. The most common being, using an unwilling person. I implore you to dig deeper into this section and flesh it out, as I feel you’re on to something. Try to create a more in-depth plot where he was actually framed for something horrendous involving blood magic.


Yes, it's basically based on that conversation with Dorian on how the Templars are basically just political tool, and how occasionally there'll be a magister that is all about reform and then it turns out that 'he's a maleficar all along' Cadmus is basically another example of such magister. It's meant that he's framed of using blood magic in that second manner, since as Dorian said, the Imperium don't even consider the 'ethical', so to speak, blood magic, blood magic. I'll add something to expand on that.



Hidden 10 mos ago Post by Sleepy Tani
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Sleepy Tani Needs A Nap

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Hiya! Here's mine :)



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