Hidden 16 days ago 9 days ago Post by ThiefOnAGoose
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ThiefOnAGoose Pulvis et umbra sumus

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Hidden 10 days ago Post by Ruby
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Ruby No One

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iirc Designations (like my IRL "PR" designation) aren't fleshed out. Which is to say junior enlisted aren't fleshed out. Which is to say....yeah make it up.

Although Fire Team would be a Damage Controlman. DC3, DC2, DC1=Petty Officer 3rd Class and so on, DC-specific.
Hidden 10 days ago Post by Ellri
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Ellri Lord of Eat / Relic

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Review of ThiefOnAGoose's Dervan Brovan
  • Good grammar isn’t required, the OoC section is just as much for other players as it is for the GMs. A player that doesn’t like going above two paragraphs per post and who doesn’t care overmuch about grammar probably won’t have all that much interest in collaborating with someone that prefers twelve paragraphs or more.

    Oh, and your evil laughter? Far too short. Clearly.
  • Pureblood percentage: Essentially all imperial humans have some Sith pureblood ancestry, but generally only those with relatively close ancestors have visible traits. Most only have a few percent.
  • Rank: Ruby sent you something on that.
  • While not required, it would be nice to have numbers for height and such in metric units too.

    Interesting that you brought in allergies…
  • Suggestion: Replace the arachnophobia with a phobia-like fear of something more likely to be encountered. Perhaps mynocks? Or perhaps Nexu. Or perhaps nexu is reasonable to be afraid of.
    If you chose something like mynocks you could have him get violent towards them if possible, going out of his way to harm them?
    Mind you, these are only suggestions.
  • Suggestion: nationalistic zeal → Excessive zeal and disobedience
  • Dromund Kaas is the planet, the city is simply Kaas City.
  • Suggestion: Add something to failures about his unsuitability for command?
  • Something feels off about the interview… It feels incomplete. We also doubt that someone second in their class would be granted the rank of private.
    Also, it doesn’t say all that much about him. Perhaps add a couple of other sections about him (not necessarily related to the first)?

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Hidden 8 days ago 8 days ago Post by Sini
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Sini

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If he's a pilot, even a newly graduated one, I would age him up. Additionally, pilots typically hold a junior officer rank after earning their wings, like second lieutenant, and have had years of training and education.

I would also want a bit more substance to your final section. We want to see more content there, aside from (a description of) a graduation speech.
Hidden 7 days ago Post by ThiefOnAGoose
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ThiefOnAGoose Pulvis et umbra sumus

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If he's a pilot, even a newly graduated one, I would age him up. Additionally, pilots typically hold a junior officer rank after earning their wings, like second lieutenant, and have had years of training and education.

I would also want a bit more substance to your final section. We want to see more content there, aside from (a description of) a graduation speech.


To your first point, the Google docs say that Imperial citizens typically finish their military education "around eighteen". It does make more realistic sense if he's a party boy, so I guess I can have him take an extra year or two, but that might tarnish his disciplinary record (which the Empire takes far more seriously than the FAA IRL).

Secondly, I'm scrapping that current interview. I can't think of any cutaway from that which doesn't involve godmodding or fully playing the character in a scenario prior to acceptance.

Self-appointed deadline for edits: 12:01 AM, May 17th PST
Hidden 7 days ago 7 days ago Post by Sini
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Sini

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<Snipped quote by Sini>

To your first point, the Google docs say that Imperial citizens typically finish their military education "around eighteen". It does make more realistic sense if he's a party boy, so I guess I can have him take an extra year or two, but that might tarnish his disciplinary record (which the Empire takes far more seriously than the FAA IRL).

Secondly, I'm scrapping that current interview. I can't think of any cutaway from that which doesn't involve godmodding or fully playing the character in a scenario prior to acceptance.

Self-appointed deadline for edits: 12:01 AM, May 17th PST


I admit that is a confusing phrase. Perhaps we ought to put "basic" in front of "military education" to make more sense regarding age. The recruits/cadets which are looking or selected to specialise going into an additional 2-3 or 4-5 (depending on NCO or CO ranks) years of training, with servicemen, infantry, and other basic enlisted getting out at 18.

Looking forward to the revamped interview!
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