[IC] Virtual Reality: Or How I Learned to Stop Thinking and Love the Bob-omb! (A Comedy RP)

[Three Five]

A feeling of foreboding slithered up their spines as they sat motionlessly in the all-enveloping darkness -- darkness that left them cold and uneasy. Though they sat close enough to each other to hear the other's breath in the silence, somehow the blackness thrust them into a feeling of being utterly alone. This long, gloomy journey deeper into obscurity…was it a reflection of the chaos and hopelessness of their lives? Oh Hell, who am I kidding! The two knuckleheads were just blindfolded in the back of a taxicab, and they were actually feeling pretty pleased with themselves.

"I can't believe we won this, Gerald!" Chester twittered excitedly turning toward the left where he was fairly certain his companion sat, "It's the first bug thing I've ever won!"

"Yeah," Gerald replied, "besides being voted most likely to get run over by a stampede of moose in high school." He paused and touched his face, as if he had to make sure the blindfold was indeed still there. "But it is weird that we have to be blindfolded on the way there…."

"Well, it is a secret island facility, man. I guess they've got some pretty sweet tech up there. They don't want just anyone knowing where it is. And Hell, we even got to fly in a private jet to get here! Dunno about you, but it makes me feel downright important." Chester leaned back in his seat and wiggled his spine into the fading black upholstery.

Gerald was slightly more skeptical about the transportation arrangement than his friend, but it wasn't like he had anything better to do. He did look forward to playing with experimental VR technology. He was just about to voice his thoughts on the transportation the other winners may receive when the shabby taxicab shuddered to a sudden halt, shoving Gerald and Chester forward into the backs of the driver and passenger chairs. Their now-locked seat belts quickly returned their bent bodies back to their seats, pinning them there.

"Hey, watch it, asshole!" Gerald snapped at the driver. Not one second later, he heard his door open, rather more aggressively than he though it should be opened, and he felt someone grab hold of his shirt collar and yank him out of the car as effortlessly as if he were a wet noodle. Ok, the driver is a big man...duly noted.

The same happened to Ches a moment later, and they were then escorted into a building, though "escorted" may be too gentle a word for it. The boys couldn't see it, but the building was a worn-down old warehouse with dead or nearly-dead palm trees attached haphazardly to its rusty metal siding. Above the loading dock doors was a paper banner that had the words "Welcome to paradise, lucky winners!" written on it in what looked like Crayola marker. That same tacky sun clipart from the envelope was emblazoned on the end of the banner, its smug smile mocking the two dopes who were to be the first guinea pigs.

Shoved through the entrance, Ches and Gerald heard the heavy thud of the big iron door slam behind them, and suddenly the world was in view again. They squinted through the harsh artificial light that bathed the lobby in a yellowish hue. It was a fairly large room, from what they could see. A high harvest-gold counter that looked like to was pulled from the year 1973 sat directly in front of them. Placed on the counter were the normal office lobby accessories: a tape dispenser, some pens, a tacky flower arrangement which also looked to have been fresh some time in the 70's, and a drinky bird. The bird's eyes were glued on crookedly, and Ches could swear it was giving him a sidelong leer as it dipped up and down in vain to quench its perpetual thirst.

Gerald glanced behind him at the colossal beast of a man who had removed his blindfold: their driver. Gerald grinned apologetically, which was met with a scowl from the Goliath.

"Ah thank you, that will be enough, Davis." a voice sounded from behind the front desk. To Gerald, it was the voice of his new guardian angel, who just saved his face from a good pummeling he was sure. This so-called guardian angel rose from behind the counter and revealed himself to be a stereotypical "mad scientist" type -- frizzy hair and all. Not the typical guardian angel, but he'd take him. The Goliath Davis slinked off to one of the side rooms and let the door slam behind him, obviously perturbed about not being able to smack around the scrawny smartass he'd just driven 50 miles from the airport.

"So, you boys must be Mr. Calhoun and Mr. Garrett. It's nice to have you with us." the scientist said and began walking to a large room in the rear. He gestured for them to follow him. "Sorry about the transportation, but this is top-secret technology that you will have the honor of using. We have to take every precaution, you understand."

Chester elbowed Gerald in the ribs. "I told you." he muttered.

"You are the first to arrive," the scientist continued and stopped near a coffee-maker in the back room, "so just make yourselves comfortable and we'll wait for the others. I want to make sure you all get to know each other before we start. Help yourselves to some coffee or snacks while you wait." He gestured to a plate of cookies that looked decidedly sketchy, but to two moronic men who thought with their stomachs before their brains, they were most attractive, indeed. In fact, before the man even left the room, Chester had already managed to stuff two in his mouth. The scientist turned and grinned, then shut the door behind him. A distinct click of the lock followed.

[c3p-0h]

Kimi did not enjoy blindfolds. At all. For one thing, they ruined her makeup. For another, she couldn't tell if a serial killer was kidnapping her or if she was being sold into some human trafficking scam or… heck, anything! The further she got from Maya's apartment, the more she was regretting going through her sister's mail in the first place. No way this whole thing was gonna be worth it. But she was smart, right? She could work her way through this. She'd managed to charm the large man who'd first come to pick her up with a smile, but couldn't convince him to let her get by without the stupid blindfold, and now she had no idea where she was. They'd even taken her can of mace and pocket knife at the airport.

Eventually, the taxi she was riding in came to a stop and Kimi heard the door open. She held out her hand expectantly, and her driver (who'd introduced himself as Gary) awkwardly curled his fingers around it and helped her out of the car. He guided her forward and she heard the sound of rusted hinges screeching as doors opened. Oh great. A sketchy warehouse. Just what this situation needed. They walked through and the doors shut behind them. Gary undid her blindfold and Kimi blinked against the light.

The scene around her did not inspire confidence. The large room was bathed in the sort of lighting that made you look sickly no matter what complexion you had, and there was some tacky counter in the center, filled with… office supplies? What? Most concerning of all though was the Dr. Frankenstein sitting just behind the counter. Kimi looked up at Gary to see him shift uncomfortably. Glancing down at her, he blushed and snapped his eyes back up to the other man.

"That'll be quite enough Gary, thank you," the doctor said, rising from his seat. Gary gave a short nod and practically ran to a door lining the far wall. "You must be Miss Baker, yes? So lovely to meet you." Kimi decided very quickly that she didn't like his voice. Or his smile. But she put on a cheery face anyway, beaming at him.

"It's nice to meet you too, mister… I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name," she said with a tilt of her head, letting her smile turn bashful. "Or… what any of this was about, really," she giggled. "I guess it kinda all went over my head." His eyebrow twitched at her words, and he was still for a moment before replying.

"Oh, not to worry Miss Baker," he said, "All your questions will be answered as soon as everyone's here. As it stands, you're the third to arrive. Come along to the back room. You can meet the others." Alarms rang in Kimi's head. Why the heck did he not want to tell her his name? But before she could say anything else, he'd turned towards a door, clearly expecting her to follow behind him. She hesitated for a moment before doing just that, sure to stay at least an arm's length away from him. Just in case.

Inside the back room stood two men, noisily scarfing down some cookies. Were… these the other "winners"? These were the people they'd picked along side her? Indignation started bubbling up inside of Kimi. They'd better have been going for diversity to think she should be grouped together with these two. Honestly, they were hardly impressive. Except maybe if you counted how many crumbs it was possible to catch on the front of a shirt.

(It should be noted that at this point Kimi had completely forgotten that she hadn't actually been selected for this.)

"Chester Garrett, Gerald Calhoun," the man said, his voice cutting through the sound of their munching, "meet Miss Maya Baker." Oh right. She was Maya. "I'll let you all get to know each other while we wait for the rest," he said. With one last smile, he turned and walked out the door, locking it behind him. Great.

"Uhm…" she started, not sure what to do. "Hi." She gave a sweet smile and a little wave. You couldn't go wrong with that. "So… do you two have any idea what this is about?"

[TickTock]

The southern drawl of a heartbroken gentleman finding his solace in trackers and alcohol echoed tortuously through the head of a blindfolded young woman, sitting in the back of a taxicab, recovering from an equally boozy destiny the night before. The girl's distaste for songs about pick'em up trucks and moonshine could only be matched by her hatred of long car rides on broken roads.

Such road trips had given her trouble since she was little by bestowing the lovely feeling of nausea to creep into the pit of her stomach, as if just a hangover wasn't bad enough. It honestly felt like the driver was trying to hit every pothole and crack in the road, and the whole not being able to see thing wasn't helping. If one were to ask this particular young lady, blindfolds should be kept exclusively for bedroom use.

The flight, on the other hand, to...well, where ever she ended up was smooth enough to let her get a few more hours of sleep in. However, every waking moment after that had been full of nothing but strange smells, loud noises, and gosling motions. All in all, this trip so far had been hell in a hand basket. A big, ugly, yellow hand basket.

Finally, the car cruised to a stop and the music, if you can call it that, ceased. As she let out a sweet sigh of relief, the blindfolded female felt the cool rush of fresh air waft over her, for the first time in what felt like hours, as the driver opened her door. Outstretching her arms, the disoriented passenger managed to find her way out the car safely before a hand on her should guided her into a building with an alarming loud, metal door. With a loud clank, the door closed, and the girl's vision burned from the cheap artificial lighting.

Before her stood a rather eccentric looking man who greeted her with a warm smile. The young female tried her best to curve her red painted lips and return the gesture. Examining the room made her feel as if she had stepped into an old TV sitcom. Her inspection was momentarily interrupted by the sound of a door clicking, and it was then that she noticed her country loving driver had vanished without a word.

"Why, hello, there! You must be Noel!" The sound of a voice broke the girl from her thoughts and she nodded, trying to retain her strained smile. Why on earth did she agree to this? She called off of work with a fake illness to try something high tech and exciting, yet this place looked rather outdated and just plain disappointing. Ultimately, however, she decided it didn't really matter anyway. A day off of work is a day off of work. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you! Several of the other winners have already arrived. Come this way and you can meet them. We also have snacks and coffee that you are welcome to."

Noel liked the sound of that. Coffee would be the perfect 'pick me up.'Following Doc Brown's long lost cousin, Noel entered the back room with three other "winners," two of which had mouth fulls of the probably poisoned, but delicious, cookies.

"Make yourself at home," he encouraged on his way out, closing and locking the door behind him.

Scanning the crowd, Noel pursed her lips and lifted her hand, giving everyone a small awkward wave before pouring herself a cup of coffee and seating herself in a chair at the table in center of the room.

[Scarifar]

Alexander didn't like it, this whole blindfold thing. However, perhaps it was necessary to keep whatever they wanted to keep secret a secret. After all, Virtual Reality was something quite fascinating, and something that only existed in the realm of science fiction, at least until now. Honestly, Alexander was excited. He couldn't wait to try out whatever it was.

Then he felt the car stop moving, and Alexander shifted his focus back to reality. That was enough imagination for now, Alexander thought as he heard the car doors open, one near the front of him and the other next to him. That most likely meant to the driver was opening the doors. He turned toward the door and awkwardly made his way out of the car. "Where are we?" Alexander asked as he stood up. "No questions yet, just keep moving," said a man, probably his driver. Seemed like he didn't want to talk yet, so Alexander let it pass.

After being guided to somewhere, he heard a door shut behind him, and his blindfold was finally being taken off. Alexander opened his eyes, and squinted in pain as his eyes adjusted to the light. Being blindfolded was not exactly fun. After the light no longer blinded him, he noticed the man standing in front of him.

"Hello, hello!" the man said. "You must be Alexander." Alexander merely said, "Yeah," in response. "Wonderful!" the man said cheerfully, then continued with, "There are already quite a few people who arrived ahead of you. Feel free to mingle, have some cookies and coffee, you know." With that said, the man opened a door, and Alexander stepped though. The door then closed behind him with an evident lock sound.

The place was, well, not what he expected. He expected... well, he didn't really know what to expect, but he felt it there should have been a little... more. He looked at the others who had arrived, and immediately noted that they all looked older than him. That probably meant he was the youngest. Alexander would have gone for some cookies, but it seemed like some people already hogged quite a bit of them for themselves. As for the coffee, well, Alexander never did like coffee. And Alexander wasn't the kind of guy to mingle, so he found a place to sit down and wait for the main event to begin.

[Three Five]

The very short period of time between the scientist leaving Gerald and Chester and the time of Kimi’s arrival created a particular void of stimulation for the two men. Similarly to a toddler, this was far too long for them to handle without getting into trouble. As was their usual fashion, they quickly filled that vacuum with entertainment of their own creation. However, instead of taking that precious time to investigate their unfamiliar and possibly threatening surroundings, or maybe attempt to eavesdrop on those who had locked them in this room, they turned to a significantly less productive way of spending their time: finding out who could consume more of the probably-drugged cookies before the remaining winners arrived.

“Dang, these cookies are pretty damn good.” Chester mumbled between bites, causing crumbs to cascade to the floor, like the Keebler factory’s rendition of Niagara Falls.

“Yeah.” Gerald agreed, but glanced down at the half-eaten and lumpy-looking chocolate chip concoction in his hand, “But in retrospect, they’re probably full of something horrible….or at least made in a kitchen not approved by the FDA.”

This thought caused Chester to pause momentarily. He eyed one of the baked confections scrupulously, turning it over in his fingers like a banker examines bills for counterfeits. All the while he wore the expression of a philosopher deep in complex thought. “Yeah, probably.” He mused, then shoved another in his mouth. “I’ve had worse.”

“You’re still eating those?”

Ches’s shoulders rolled into a shrug. “Sure, why not?” He raised his hand to his mouth to consume another of the baked goods, when an idea managed to trudge across the barren wasteland that was his mind. A wry smile slowly tugged at his lips and his eyes narrowed into knowing slits. “Hey, I’ll bet I can eat more of these at once than you can.”

A challenge from Chester? Now this was something Gerald could not walk away from. No matter how silly, he was compelled to prove himself better in any possible way than his companion. “You’d be wasting your time.” he assured him, “You and I both know I’d beat you hands down. Remember that pie-eating contest? I was a shoo-in winner!”

“Come on, put your money where your mouth is, Gerald. I know that shouldn’t be too hard for you, seeing how it takes up most of your face.”

“Oh-ho, you’re on, son!” And thus the challenge was officially accepted. No turning back now without being labeled a coward. This was serious business, and there could only be one victor.

The two men instinctively lunged for the plate of cookies after the front lobby door slammed, the proverbial gunshot to mark the start of their contest for honor and glory. Oatmeal, chocolate chip, snickerdoodle, and white chocolate macadamia nut – no flavor was spared the wholesale slaughter. It was like a scene from a massacre, with crumbs and cookie fillings flying wildly from the plate, silhouetted briefly in the harsh yellow light from the overhead fluorescents.

Only a few moments into the fray, Gerald had overstepped his rights as a mere contestant and declared himself the winner, grabbing the plate and what remained of the cookies. “There. I win. All these are mine now.”

Ches grabbed at the plate, pushing a cookie that was already dancing on the edge of being on the floor to its dirty linoleum demise. “Hey no, I haven’t had anything decent to eat in the past week! We both won this trip, and I am going to take advantage of every minute of it. I might not get the chance to eat like this again.”

“Well, that’s your own fault.”

“No, you make more than I do!”

“We have the same job, idiot.” This was true. Both knuckleheads worked as mechanics at a small auto repair shop. How either of them are trusted with heavy equipment, corrosives, and toxic chemicals is one of the great unanswered questions of life.

“Yeah, but you make more. The boss likes you better.”

“Well maybe because I’m not a whiny little—“ Fortunately for any younger readers, Gerald’s scathing comeback was cut short by the creaking of the big metal door as it parted to usher in the newest arrival: a young woman not yet in her 20’s. Poor girl. Heaven help her, being stuck with in a locked room with the present company.

Chester was the first to look up after hearing his name mentioned by the bed-headed scientist. “Oh, hello!” he exclaimed without missing a beat. It was surprising how competent the man could be in select social situations—very select, mind you.

“What is this all about?” Chester repeated the woman’s question, almost in a condescending tone, “Didn’t you read the letter? We’ve been selected to test out some fantastic new technology and be transported to whole new worlds without leaving the comfort of this island! Pretty sweet, huh?”

It wasn’t long before other participants were ushered into the same room, both silently taking their seats. Gerald stood silently in the back of the room, leaning on the countertop and surveying the newcomers. Chester began exercising his natural extroversion and practically skipped about the room introducing himself.

[TickTock]

It wasn't long after Noel slipped into her coffee bliss that another person entered the room. She pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows to him in acknowledgement of his presence. Shortly after he took a seat, Noel noticed the two men by the cookies had shifted their focus from the snacks to the rest of the people in the room.

One stayed back while the taller man came by to introduce himself. Noel's maroon lips stretched out into pained smile in response to his friendly introduction.

"Hey," the brunette replied in her low, throaty voice. She reached out and shook his hand while sipping her coffee with the other. "The name's Noel. It's a pleasure." Her raised brows and slight smile gave way to her amusement as she watched him bounce around the room.

While the man who identified himself as Chester visually seemed a little older than her, Noel found his personality to be similar to that of her younger brother. Leaning back in her chair, she ran her fingers through her dark hair in amazement. The girl's pale blue eyes stayed fixed on him while he continued to make his rounds. It reminded her that she should go visit her hometown once this is over...Or maybe not. Her brother was kind of a little shit.

Stretching, Noel stood up and made her way over to what was left of the cookies. Snickering was all she could do when she saw the state of the area. Crumbs littered the floor. And the table. And the men who had seemed to be the cause. If the potential of drugs wasn't deterrent enough to not eat the cookies, the crumbs sprinkled across them that probably flew from the men's mouths were. Despite the risks and the abysmal state of their appearance, she carefully slipped something sprinkled out from the bottom of the pile and hoped it had been spared from their manhandling.

Instead of eating the cookie, the brunette examined it carefully. It appeared to be just a plain sugar cookie. Odd shape, but nothing threatening about the color, texture, or smell. Cautiously, she broke it in half, letting a few more crumbs fall to the floor. With a smirk, she made her way to the young, dark haired boy with glasses.

"Here." Noel said, handing one half to the quiet observer. "We've come this far, why not take the plunge?" She leaned against the adjacent wooden table and shoved her half into her mouth. She didn't really want to take the risk on her own, so she dragged this poor boy into it too. She was hungry, hungover, and he came in after her, so she felt like she had the strongest connection with him. The treat was surprisingly good for something possibly poisonous.

After everyone finished their introductions she decided to keep the conversation going. "So, she started as she brushed crumbs off her skirt with both hands. "How was everybody else's ride here? Mine was hell."

[Scarifar]

As most people started to make introductions and what not, Alexander merely looked away, daydreaming about various things. He was intending to ignore the others for now, but it seemed like some people had other plans. A cookie, or rather, half a cookie, was held out in front of him, returning his attention back to him. He turned his head to see a woman offering the half-cookie, saying, "We've come this far, why not take the plunge?"

Alexander merely stared at her for a brief second, then took the cookie from her. "Thanks," Alexander said before taking a bite out of it. For some reason he had the impression he was being treated like a guinea pig, but the feeling faded quickly.

Then the small talk began. "Mine was alright," Alexander replied. "Well, if being blindfolded counts as 'alright'."

[Three Five]

From his countertop perch at the rear of the office, Gerald could observe the whole room and feel the bulk of the creeping awkwardness that permeated the air. The harsh artificial lighting that bathed the room in a sickly glow, coupled with the furniture that was seemingly plucked from another age contributed greatly to the unpleasantness. From his experience, throwing a bunch of people together in one small area never ended well. Thankfully, he didn't really give a care at present. He never was really an anxious type to begin with, but furthermore he felt a strange sense of calm wash over him ever since the other guests arrived. Heck, he even felt a little on the sleepy side, oddly enough. Maybe he should have had some coffee instead of spiking his blood sugar with all those cookies.

His hand rested on the edge of the countertop as he leaned his weight onto it. Out of the corner of his eye, he could have sworn the he saw the coffeemaker that sat on the counter to his right move forward about an inch and a half. A subsequent flash of movement of the inanimate appliance piqued his curiosity enough to cause him to actually expend the effort to turn and look at it. Just as he turned, he noticed the entire wall push forward into the room, dislodging his grip on the edge of the counter.

"What the Hell?" he uttered as he struggled to regain his balance. The wall now swung forward into the room, revealing a dark area behind it. The coffeemaker fell to the floor with a crash, forming a small caffeinated lake on the linoleum.

A short, middle-aged man with thick-rimmed glasses popped his head from the newly-formed space in the wall. "Oh dear," he mumbled, starting down at the spilled beverage spreading on the ground, "Not again." He shook his head, as if it was a necessary movement to clear his thoughts and refocus on the task at hand. "Well, anyway, we are ready for you all now! If you will just come this way!" His hand reached instinctively to the bridge of his nose to slide his heavy glasses further up unto his face and then, without waiting for a response from anyone, he ducked his head back into the darkness and disappeared.

Gerald and Chester exchanged a glance and a shrug, then filed in after the creepy little fellow. It took a few moments for their eyes to adjust to the abrupt darkness, coming from the stabbing gold beams of the dingy waiting area. Blinking as if to hasten the process, the boys eventually got a good look at their new surroundings. The somber chasm they entered was about half the size of the waiting area, the walls, ceiling, floor, and almost every surface made of an odd matte black plastic-like material. The intense darkness of the room was diluted only by a single ring of dim blue light emanating from a curious semi-transparent glass disc on the ceiling. Waist-high computer consoles lined the interior walls, and these too gave off a faint blue light, but not enough to combat the gloomy darkness that made one feel as if they had entered the center of the Earth.

All in all, the room was indeed a scientific marvel and a rather impressive display. The arrival into the midst of this scene should have been something to instill wonderment, curiosity, and perhaps a bit of fear into even the most resolute of men; however, Gerald could only focus on how tired he was. Physical exhaustion and mental fuzziness plagued him, and he felt as if someone had pulled some plug out of his brain. He could feel his body moving, but he felt barely in control. Sounds and sights reached him, but they seemed not to register. He glanced at Chester, who appeared to be feeling the same way. The 50-mile drive from the airport was crammed with Chester's boyish excited ramblings about this trip, and now he wore a blank expression of a man who was completely and utterly numb.

Hovering over one of the computer terminals near the door were two gaunt figures, their floor-length white lab coats reflecting the dim blue light and making them appear like pallid specters in the shadows. They exchanged distressed words in hushed tones and stabbed their fingers at buttons on the console.

Gerald couldn't entirely make out what the two specters were saying in his current state of lethargy, but a few scarps of the conversation managed to meet his ears. From what he could tell, they were saying things like "What happened to the rest? They should be here by now", "Did Roberts check in?", "Check all the accident and traffic reports…", "Do you think it could have been--", "NO, not that!" and other such vocalizations of concern. Right now the words held no meaning to Gerald and Chester. All either of them wanted to do was lay down somewhere and sleep for hours, days, or weeks maybe. Yes, weeks would be nice.

The boys' prayers were answered, as the glass doors lining the circular room suddenly slid open at once, revealing individual closet-sized rooms with reclining chairs in each. They did not even have to be asked to take a seat, as within a few moments of their reveal, the boys helped themselves to a seat in the black leather reclining chairs. Who cared if they were reminiscent of dentists chairs, and who cared if there was a monstrous hunk of machinery looming behind each chair, its Kraken-like metal appendages dangling menacingly near the head rest. It was a comfy seat, and that is all that mattered to these two walking zombies.

Two scientists in the center of the room exchanged shocked glances, their expressions of surprise quickly being replaced with satisfied smirks. This was easier than they ever hoped it would be. Here they had to come up with all these tall tales to explain away the frightening machinery to the prospective guinea pigs, and they didn't even need to use them. That long staff meeting about this was all for naught! What a waste of an afternoon that could have been spent playing on the Internet. Well, at least the rest of their day looked like it would go smoothly enough. They continued into the two small rooms Gerald and Chester entered, and proceeded to hook up the two nearly-comatose men to the VR equipment. The sedative-laced snacks and beverages not only helped calm the victims, but also made their minds more receptive to the VR technology.

Chester was vaguely aware of someone standing beside his chair, wrestling with the cold metallic tentacles of the hulking machine behind his head. Despite the sedatives in his system, he felt the cold hand of fear take hold of his forehead...or maybe that was just the cold steel of the VR headset. He wasn't quite sure. Either way, fear was starting to take hold, though its grip still fairly feeble.

He suddenly felt a sharp, stabbing pain at the base of his skull, then he didn't feel anything at all. He didn't see anything at all. He couldn't hear anything at all. Oh shit, am I dead? Well, he could think, at least. Dead people can't think...can they?

Chester lost track of the time he spent floating in this anesthetized void. When completely alone with nothing but one's own incoherent thoughts, what does time matter anyway? Did time matter to Abraham Lincoln while he was riding that sentient cactus, or to the cat from the Fancy Feast commercial? Did it matter when Russian pizzas with Koosh balls for heads were taking over the Earth while he robbed a candy orphanage? No, no it didn't.

It could have been seconds, minutes, or hours, but Ches eventually felt the sensation of something hard supporting his spine, then his arms, neck, head, and legs. Something thin and flat created a texture beneath his moving fingers, and he felt wind tickling his face. He willed his eyes to open, like when in a dream from which one desperately wishes to awaken. He couldn't take that chameleon in the dashing top hat staring at him any longer. It was getting creepy. His eyelids slowly peeled apart and a bright azure sky flooded his vision and banished all the bizarre apparitions of his subconscious. He felt grounded in reality once more.

Sitting up, Chester looked around him. He was in a field of some sort, the delicate breeze rippling through the waves of tall grass. Straight ahead of him lay a grassy knoll, atop of which was what looked to be a run-down old house, and a large one at that. The windows were broken, the grey paint was peeling, and the entire structure appeared to be slanting to one side. Quaint.

"Hey, look who decided to come back to life." Gerald's voice sounded from behind, and Ches felt a small object bounce off his head. A pinecone landed on his lap and he swung around to see his friend standing with a sarcastic grin on his face. So there were two possibilities here, Ches decided. Either they both had died, and this was some sort of afterlife, or the virtual reality really worked….and worked really damn well. Ches was pretty sure that the houses in any afterlife would be nicer than the one that greeted him on his arrival, so he figured the latter was the more likely.

[Scarifar]

Alexander got startled from the loud crash caused by the coffee machine breaking, and turned his attention towards the source to see someone entering the room from an opening that definitely wasn't there before. This new person did not feel the same way the others did to Alexander, so he assumed he was the one to show the way to the virtual reality stuff. His assumption proved correct when they were told to follow him.

Glad to finally get to what they came for, Alexander complied and started following the man. It was quite dark in the area that Alexander was now in, and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. While adjusting, Alexander noticed the two men and the discussion they were having. The things he could make out sounded rather concerning, and Alexander was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, that there was something going on that these guys were not telling them. However, that thought went straight out the window as rooms appeared, each containing a seat.

As Alexander debated whether or not such a seat, and especially the machinery around it, was safe, he began to feel a bit tired. Unknown to him, that half-cookie he ate had been laced with a sedative, making him feel rather tired and impairing his mental thinking.

Alexander lied down on the seat, and two scientists arrived. Alexander didn't remember much after that, except a sharp pain at the back of his neck. Then he found himself in an area he definitely wasn't in before. It took a moment for Alexander to remember what was going on, and realize that it was probably the virtual reality that they had all come for. Alexander took a moment to look around the place, see where he was and what was going on at the moment.

[TickTock]

Amused, Noel smirked at the younger boy's comment.

"Yeah, I felt that was a little...odd too. Understandable, i suppose," Noel mused, "but definitely a new experie-."

Just then, she was cut off by one of the older men's interjection. Craning her neck to the side, she turned just in time to see the coffee pot crash to the floor. A darken area was suddenly revealed and brunette wasn't sure what to make of it. It didn't get any better when a middle aged man with glasses appeared. He seemed a bit odd, like the last guy, and beckoned them to follow him into the darkness.

Shrugging, Noel complied and followed behind Chester and his pal. It was an interesting room. Similar to a secret base with super computers that you would see in spy movies. Not that those were up Noel's alley in particular, but her mind still made the connection. It was still dim, but she could see the half lidded expressions on the older men's faces. Are they bored? She wondered. How could they be? The fun was only just beginning! And if they were all taken back her to be slaughtered, well, at least they weren't alone.

Noel listened as the some men in lab coats conversed in hushed tones. She couldn't really make out what they were saying but the few things she did catch didn't make her feel any comfortable. Moments later, passages opened into individual compartments with some beastly looking recliners. It didn't take long for the gentlemen in front of her to curl up in them and make themselves comfortable. Shortly after, the younger boy did the same. Noel pursed her lips for a moment, and then sighed.

"When in Rome, I guess." With that, she climbed into one of the contraptions herself. While it didn't look comfortable, it suddenly felt like heaven. When has she become so tired? She wondered it would be bad to fall asleep, but, after a bit, she didn't really care. All she wanted was to wake up with all her organs in tact.

Noel could feel the pricks and tingles on various parts of her body. It felt like something sharp pierced the back of her neck, but all feeling was gone shortly after that. She was surprised. While the feeling of what stabbed her wasn't pleasant, it didn't compare to the tattoo she got on that back of her neck two years back. Now that was a bitch and it lasted for what felt like forever. However, when it came to tattoos, it was no pain no gain. She did, after all, get one or two in her lifetime. Well, maybe 3 or 4. Okay, 5, she had five tattoos, all easily covered, but she didn't want to talk about the last one. She was drunk, it was a mistake. Let's just say, never trust another drunk person to do your tattoo, no matter how good of a deal their belligerent self is willing to give you. Also, make sure you use spell check. It's important.

The next thing Noel knew, she was outside, in the daylight. Finally, look and feel of real daylight once again! Then it hit her. No. It wasn't real. None of this was. Those crazy chairs must have been the virtual reality simulators.

"Ughhh," Noel grunted. She had so hoped she could finally see the sun and sky again after so many hours of being blindfolded. Defeated, Noel sat up and looked around. Ah, good, the group was here too. Noel pulled herself up and dusted herself off before heading over to them. Past them, she could see a large house. It looked a bit worn, and the plant life near by needed a good trim.

"Soooo, does anyone else want to check out the haunted mansion?" Noel asked excitedly.

[Three Five]

Picking himself up off the ground, Chester looked around the green field around him. Just a few yards away he spotted Alexander doing very much the same. In one deft movement, he smacked Gerald on the shoulder and pointed toward the young man. "Oh hey, it's that kid from the waiting room. I guess we didn't die."

Gerald replied with a roll of his eyes, "Of course we didn't die, moron. We're in the virtual reality. Let's go see how the he's holding up." He began shoving Ches toward Alexander. Once they arrived within earshot, he called out "Hey there! This is pretty neat, huh? Glad to see you're here in one piece."

A groan sounded from behind them, and Chester wheeled around to see Noel standing nearby, seemingly arriving out of nowhere. He did have to admit that people suddenly appearing in this world was a bit on the creepy side. What happened if two people came in at the same point? Did the programmers consider that scenario? He didn't want to think about that possibility. "Alright, nearly everyone is here!" he exclaimed and flashed one of his juvenile smiles that made his boyish face look even more like that of a teenager.

Noel was gazing at the decrepit house upon the hill and seemed intent on exploring it. Chester wasn't exactly paying complete attention to her actual words, but he was pretty sure she said the word "haunted." Haunted was never good.

"Haunted mansion?" Gerald repeated these words and confirmed what Ches was dreading, "Sweet. That sounds like the best idea! I'm totally down. Let's do it!"

Chester did not look half as enthusiastic as Noel and Gerald. "Haunted?" he repeated nervously, "Oh jeez. Of course." Gerald had already started walking toward the house, and Chester trailed along reluctantly, making childish attempts to block his path, all the while voicing his complaints and protests. "What happened to the paradise we were promised, Jer? I don't see any diamond-sand beaches, palm trees made of money, Tiki bars with cherry soda on tap, or attractive girls serving smoothies. I think we were lied to. I knew this was a bad idea, I knew it from the beginning."

Gerald continued forward, despite the attempts to inhibit his progress. "Oh, shut up, Ches. You were the one who was all Gung-ho about this. This is what you get for free." He paused and looked back at his concerned companion, a wry smile parting his lips, "Hey, maybe all that stuff is just inside. You know, I think that's it. I can practically hear the cherry soda flowing, man. Don't want to keep those smoothie waitresses waiting." At this point, Gerald had already trudged up the hill and stood next to the crooked door of the crumbling edifice. He held his hands out, palms up, to the door handle, inviting Chester to open it.

Chester didn't take the bait and stood helplessly at the foot of the hill. "They're called WAITresses for a reason!" he yelled up at his friend defiantly, thinking that was a damn good pun.

Suddenly, a voice as large as the sky itself sounded from somewhere overhead, "We fixed all the bugs, right? Wait, what? Why didn't you fix th- Oh, wait what? Uh...is this thing on? Oh, it's working? Ah! Okay..."

Gerald recognized the voice at once. It was the man who had greeted them when they had first arrived -- his "guardian angel." Somehow, the man's disembodied voice booming from overhead, seemingly from everywhere and yet nowhere all at once, was anything but angelic. It was a bit imposing, to say the least. Gerald was instantly reminded of the gerbil that he had when he was 8, and how terrified it must have been to be cooped up in a small cardboard shoebox, a giant, misbehaving boy looming above, poking and prodding it curiously.

"So, welcome to your first virtual world!" The voice continued, sounding a bit frazzled like he had a rehearsed speech but lost the script. "As you may have noticed, you are completely immersed. You will experience all five senses perfectly -- that's part of our proprietary secret software! You may want to be a bit careful as you can feel pain...but the good thing is that you cannot die in this world. If something happens here that would kill you in the real world, you will just be transported back where you started. Feel free to explore as much as you like and do what you wish. It's, uh, your prize after all." There was a small clicking sound, as if a microphone was being shut off, then it quickly clicked on again "Oh! I also wanted to let you know that you will all be able to hear each others' speech no matter where you are in the virtual world. So you don't have to worry about keeping within earshot. Just open your mouth and everyone will hear." The voice paused, then continued awkwardly, as if he just thought up a wonderful joke for the occasion, "so...er...no making fun of others behind their backs, aiigt?" There was another click of the microphone, and the sky became silent once more.

"See Ches, it'll be fine." Gerald yelled down the embankment, "You can't die. What's the worst that can happen? Get your ass up here, you friggin' baby." he glanced at Alexander and Noel. "Don't you think he's being a major baby right now?"

That was it. He wasn't going to look like a coward in front of the others. He was older than they were. He had to be the hero...or something. He just had to keep telling himself that. Heaving a sigh, he forced his reluctant feet up the hill and met Gerald at the entrance. Gerald eyed him with that same shit-eating grin on this face as Chester slowly extended his hand to the doorknob. It was surprisingly cold and surprisingly real, Ches noted. Another sigh, this time one of mostly exasperation, and he thrust the door inward with a long creeeeaaak. The stereotypical haunted house creaky door. Figures.

A blast of cold air washed over them and caused the hairs on the back of their necks to raise. Directly inside was what was probably the foyer at one time. A dilapidated chandelier swung idly from the dirty tiled ceiling. Ches imagined how lavish it might have looked at one time, dripping with crystals that twinkled in the glow of its candles, but now the crystals were milky from age and dust and cobwebs matted what was left of the candles. All the furniture inside this room was knocked over and disheveled. That was one thing that was always unnerving about old houses. Why did the furniture always look like it had been flung around by a gorilla? Nobody was there to manhandle it. Or so they hoped. A swirl of dust, raised from the sudden movement of the door, made the light filtering through the boarded-up windows murky, but thankfully that seemed to be the only thing moving inside. For now anyway.

"Well, I guess this isn't too bad." Ches murmured and inched inside.

"Yeah, what a place, eh? Don't worry, the cherry soda is probably near."