GAME: Crush A Wish

[Kalleth]

Granted, but it's a snake with two-heads, which is a congenital defect. The "snek" dies a day after you receive it.

I wish to become Death, The Destroyer of Worlds.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but after a few years, you decide you want to stop destroying worlds, settle down, and start a family, but you cant because you destroy any world you attempt to visit.

I wish that Death, The Destroyer of Worlds could finally find happiness.

[The Dilemma]

Granted. Death finds his happiness when he saves a stray dog from the bitterness of winter. He looks after the dog for all it's happy years until it's time has truly come to pass onto the next world. The dog cannot stay on the other side with him though and must move on to heaven. Inevitably Death, The Destroyer of Worlds is left by himself once more.

I wish that the Earth's health was restored along with the animals living on it.

[RinOkumara]

ok everything becomes overgrown and humanity is destroyed THANKS MOTHER FUCKER

baa

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, but the genie doesnt speak sheep, so you are now a goat, the genie speaks goat.

I wish I had 3 goats to trade for my neighbor's daughter.

[Reis]

Wish granted. All 3 of them are dead.

I wish for an axe that won't break.

[fer1323]

Granted but it is blunt and can never be sharpen.

I wish that dnd magic was real.

[Enarr]

Granted, but you don't believe in magic to appreciate it.

I wish the next genie would look out for my best interests.

[Duthguy]

Granted, unfortunately it seems that torture is inevitable in your future no matter what he does, so he destroys your mind to spare you the pain.

I wish that orange rhymed with something

[Kalleth]

Granted, a new dumb AF slang term to do with social media that just so happens to rhyme with orange is created. However the sheer inane mediocrity of a term whose only purpose is to express vague amusement at its phonetic semblance to another similarly gimmicky word, leads you to, when you discover this new term, and the ways in which it is being used on "hip" and "trending" websites, ultimately kill yourself in a vain protest of the futility of humanity and your inevitable demise is both made a mockery of on Twitter and forever enshrined as the #Clorange_Killing.

I wish we eradicate stupid. And it should be noted that as the wisher, I'm pretty much perfectly okay with obliterating our sorry excuse for a race. So, it wouldn't be a crush to do that. Just, get rid of the stupid please. Kill it with fire.

[Lord Orgasmo]

Granted. Every person with an IQ below 200 (Certified Genius) dies. Including you. Your parents die. Your friends die. Your dog dies. The human race us in shambles as only a small fraction of it remains.

I wish for the new Dead Cells game on steam.

[Ryuzaki]

Granted, you overdose on messing up people's wishes and never get to play it.

I wish to orgasm like @Lord Orgasmo.

[Reis]

Wish granted. It's bug-ridden, and runs at 3 fps.

Fucking ninja'd. W/e. You're in a state of perpetual orgasm, to the point where you go numb and can never feel that kind of pleasure ever again.

I wish for a new phone.

[Enarr]

It's a Samsung that is going to explode when you least expect it.

I wish I was a little bit taller & a baller & had a girl who looked good & had a rabbit & a bat & a hat

[Lord Orgasmo]

Granted. But you are immediately sued for copyright infringement and left penniless.

I wish I wasn't so fat.

[Enarr]

Granted, but you're ​now anorexic.

I wish I was perfectly satisfied.

[Kalleth]

Granted but now anything that's mildly inconsistent with the state you were in when you read this is immensely distasteful to the point of physical discomfort.

I wish I could have sex with myself while being the opposite sex. If you know what I mean? ;) ;)

[Lord Orgasmo]

Granted. However you contract H.I.V. and die within the year.

I wish for various jewelry.

[The Dilemma]

Granted. However the jewellery was stolen from a very powerful dragon who seeks your head on a pike for stealing his prized possessions. You must spend the rest of your life hiding from the dragon or surrender your head.

I wish that I will pass my exams this semester.

[RinOkumara]

Granted. Every person with an IQ below 200 (Certified Genius) dies. Including you. Your parents die. Your friends die. Your dog dies. The human race us in shambles as only a small fraction of it remains.

@Lord Orgasmo

aw, thanks man i have an IQ of 274

you pass but only after finished it you realize that it's the wrong test

quack