Recent Statuses

8 days ago
Current Just found out what a Luther Burger is. My god. I think I gained 5 pounds by just looking at it.
15 days ago
Roses are red, violets are blue. Omae wa mo shindeiru .
20 days ago
I would totally have sex with space.
1 mo ago
Ah, yes the great outdoors. Filled with the sounds of things desperately trying to get laid.
2 mos ago
I think an RPGuild app would be pretty cool. Like, whenever someone posts on a subscribed topic, or you get mentioned, it'll send you a notification. Better than checking every 5 minutes.


Hey now.

As time goes on, I'll add random stuff to this.

We praise it up in here!

I'm 6'2. So my arms are around 3 feet long. So last time I went on the American Eagle roller-coaster, I hurt my finger.

I take hot showers to practice burning in hell.

Stay classy America!

Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?

I'm hungry.

DS1 Bonewheels haunt my dreams.

Have you been flossing?

So... You come here often?

Dragon Dance!

Canada isn't real.

My favorite band would have to be Ninja Sex Party.

Nobody pays me in gum :(

Rush B Faggots!

The speed of light's for pussies, we're going at the speed of Brian!


Remember kids, don't have kids.


Accept Ron Swanson as your one true god.

Knee deep in the doot.


My penis is so big it goes from A to Z on the keyboard. Oh yeah! Oh shit, wait...

I though my life was hard because I had no shoes... Until I met a man who had no legs...

I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you good sir are a god damn cactus.


The Resident Evil 4 merchant is forever embedded in my heart.

If you ever feel powerless, just remember that a single one of your public hairs can shut down an entire restaurant.


Sweet dreams are made of memes, travel the world and the seven... something that rhymes with memes but isn't seas because that's the original lyric...

There's no time to explain, pull up your pants and RUN!

Don't repost in my neighborhood if you know what's good for you.

I'm not very smart, but I know quite a lot.

Ra, Ra, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine...


If you haven't already figured it out, I like to talk. I'm just not very good at it.

Mmmmmm, Bepis.


Skate fast, eat ass.

I'm hungry. Gonna make me some Pizza Rolls.

Transformers! More than meets the eye! Transformers! Robots in disguise!

Ye hoebag!

I'm stiiill, in a dreeeaaam, Snake Eater!

"I would trade it all away, if you come back to staaaay. This kitchen's not the same, without youuuu!"

A long time ago, actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why its been everywhere. Its been so everywhere you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how every it gets.

🎵We're all just assholes, lookin' at a screen.🎵

Been a while, eh?

Engrish is my favorite language.

Most Recent Posts

Morti heard the whole thing. So, this was the poor shmuck who got attacked huh? His story seemed... odd to say the least, but he believed him. A curse that intertwines fates sounded pretty cool. After all, he himself was a glowing purple man, so a curse like that certainly sounded reasonable. He leaned off the post and walked towards the two.

"Yeah, I could probably help with your little Gnoll problem, but I've got a feeling that Gnolls are going to be the least of your worries. Call it a hunch, but I think this is only the start of things. Either way, count me in. Been lookin' for adventure."

At last, some action! Probably, anyways. He looked over the boy again. He seemed... worse for wear and perhaps even a little under prepared. Morti usually over prepared a little for things, but after some of the stories he'd heard from his past client, being under prepared might cost you your life.

"By the way, you sure you're ready to head out? I know a few good shops around town where we could get some stuff. Potions, supplies like torches, or rope, but expect things to be a little... limited, or pricey. Rations on the other hand aren't going to be easy to get. Town is... not in a good spot right now, as evident by the reaction to your little plea."

With that, he stood patiently. @Poi@Wick
Today was his big day. He'd finally leave this place and begin his work as an adventurer. But... where to start? He decided he'd mess around a bit, and see what the word was. He decided to head to the tavern first. Everybody knew him there, and likely knew the word around town a little better than he did.

He approached the door and took a look at the sign. "The Open Palm Inn". He always found the name a little odd. It had Inn in the name, yet it really wasn't an inn. Just a tavern. Or at least, he though. Huh. He opened the door and stepped inside. A rush of booze heavy air rushed out towards him. He swore you could get drunk off the fumes in this place. A few nameless townsfolk sat at the various tables, eating food and drinking away their sorrows. He looked to the barkeep. A rugged man stood by the counter, filling a mug. His name was Milner. He was a usually a pretty nice guy, but could get a little pissy during the busy hours. Morti pulled up a stool and waved over to Milner. After checking for anyone needing him, he walked over to Morti.

"Word on the street is your leavin' town. Care to confirm?"

That'd be correct. Need a new source of income. Gods know I sure as hell ain't gonna find it here. Gonna be one of those adventure types. Y'know, the ones you hear about from all the barkeeps, like yourself."

"Heh, well, you're already pretty infamous here, though I don't think that's worth much. Bit of a shame t' see ya go. You brought a certain... spark to the community."

"Heh, yeah, well, maybe I'll come back here one of these days. So, what's the word?"

"The word, eh? Well, apparently a pair of kids got attacked by some Gnolls. Girl got kidnapped, apparently, but the boy still lives. Should be in town. Down by the ol' fountain."

Morti gave a nod and flipped a coin towards Milner. "Guess I'll check it out. I'll miss ya man. Take care of the place while I'm gone will ya?" Milner gave a slight laugh before waving off Morti. Looks like a customer was wanting him. Morti got up and headed outside.

So, the old fountain. Guess he'd check it out now.

Some bloke was standing up on the fountain, shouting something about Gnolls before the onslaught began. Rocks were hurled, as well as whatever could be found towards the boy. Well, he was looking for adventure. Guess this'd be a good place to start. He walked out from the crowd and leaned up against a nearby post, staring intently at the boy.

@Poi @Wick
@Poi I'm like 99% sure that character is Robin from Fire Emblem. You sure seem to like your Fire Emblem characters.

The boy looked like he was ready to burst. Little to much enthusiasm for his standards, but he supposed it'd be nice to have around. Anyways, back to the jobs. He lifted the "Cave of Novice" paper and looked over it.

“Hey, I went inside the cave a few days ago. I couldn’t handle the terror in there. I actually dropped my wedding ring down there. If someone can please retrieve it, I will be forever in your debt. Thank you.”

A wedding ring, huh? That's pretty important. More important than say, a love letter. Heh. Then there was the matter of the "Terror". Was it a monster? Just an overall creepy atmosphere? Guess he'd be finding out. There was also the bully job. Just some drunk asshole looking to get his ass kicked. Meh, seemed a bit to... crude.

"Yeah, I'm definitely liking the look of this 'Cave of Novice'. I'll keep the other one in mind for you though. So when do we set out? Now? Or do you want to see if we could grab some supplies? Assuming they have potions here, a healing potion or two might not hurt. What do you say?"

Ysran watched as everyone ran towards the notice board. He'd probably just take what was left. He wasn't feeling like getting involved in all that.

Throughout the chaos, Ysran listened in on some of the conversations. Something about an Ogre. Meh, seemed pretty bland to him, though it would probably be pretty easy. He also heard something about a love letter. A slight grin escaped him. Seriously? A love letter delivery? What was this, Middle School? No thanks. Someone said something about some goblins. Goblins seemed to be pretty standard. He might've picked that had someone not already. There looked to be a few others that weren't taken. Here's hoping that they were somewhat interesting.

After a few moments, Ysran headed towards the board , when Skyler approached him, presumably to talk about what quest they were going to do. He was asked a couple of questions. His name? Oh, right. Guess he never introduced himself.

"My name is Ysran. Ysran Stormreach. So, what did you have in mind? I'd prefer something that involves exploring, if that's alright with you."

June 3rd, 1984. Pekin, IL. Seemingly overnight, someone has put up several flyers. They can be found all over the city, on car windows, taped to the occasional building, but most are found on posts on street corners. You know, the things that hold up the electric wires and what not? Yeah, those. The flyers read as follows:

My name is Detective Harris. As many of you know, our city is quiet, and mostly peaceful. However, things are beginning to change. Recently there's been a strange string of murders going on throughout the city, and surrounding area. Most of these murders are the same. Limbs missing, bodies torn open, almost as if they'd been attacked by an animal. But what leads us to believe that that theory is incorrect, are a few key points of evidence: For starters, a viscous black slime is found at the crime scene. Our experts are currently saying whatever it is, doesn't exist on the periodic table. Secondly, an animal would use its teeth or claws to tear the bodies apart. However we've found that the removal of limbs was almost surgical, and with a blade. And as for the tearing, it does appear that claws were used, but with extreme precision. We're likely looking for a serial killer who collects limbs as a sort of trophy, and tears thier victims apart by surprise, seemingly. These murders are seemingly random, and none of the victims are connected to each other. We believe these are victims of opportunity and advise people to travel in groups, and even to carry a weapon of sorts. Be on the lookout. We've no eye witnesses to any attacks, and have no idea what this killer looks like.

June 5th- three more victims have been found. Same M.O. However this time one of the victims were extremely malformed. Purplish skin coloring on extremities, and enormous lower jaw with shark-like teeth, and the fingers and toes having long, sharp claws. The city is starting to become paranoid. People are afraid of leaving their houses, and some refuse contact with others. The numbers are growing by the day. Will you join them? Or will you find out just what's behind all of this?

Greetings! Welcome to Murder in the Footlights! As stated above, there's a strange string of strange murders going on.

A few things to note:

This takes place on earth, so that means humans only.

This is the 80's, so a lot of tech we have today doesn't exist, or isn't as good.

The city is on lockdown. Nobody comes in, nobody comes out. Military have surrounded the city, and are distributing supplies and what not.

People are paranoid, not crazed. Though I suppose one turns to the other after a while. Things are mostly stable. No rioting, looting, or anything like that. This is only the beginning.

There will be "magic" but not in the typical sense. No fireballs, lightning bolts, or any of that. This "magic" is not known about by regular people. Starting, none of you can wield it, or know about it, but it will play a part later.

This is all Eldritch shenaniganity if you haven't figured it out yet.

This is my first time GMing, so have low standards.

The main idea of this RP is up to you: survive, hang out with Detective Harris, or go off on your own. Each will have its consequences, both good and bad. Examples: If you just wait for this to all blow over, you'll be mostly safe, but you'll need to keep track of your resources, one of which, may be sanity. Hanging out with Detective Harris will probably put you in some danger, but you'll have a professional by your side, as well as a front row seat to the events that unfold. And if you were going to go off on your own, you may discover things you shouldn't, but will be putting yourself in quite a bit of danger.

For now, feel free to ask questions as I've undoubtedly left some important details out.

Here's the CS outline.

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