Recent Statuses

6 days ago
Current I'm beginning to think my Moral Compass is actually a Roulette wheel.
25 days ago
Mr. Brightside has been stuck in my head for the past 10 days. Please send help.
4 mos ago
Now, I'm no biologist, but I'm 99% sure I have a second stomach made exclusively for French Fries.
4 mos ago
I'm willing to bet the reason people like medieval RP's so much is because you can murder people with little to no repercussions.
1 like
4 mos ago
Attention customers: If the light at my lane is off, it means "I'm going to leave," not "Swarm to my lane"


Hey now.

As time goes on, I'll add random stuff to this.

We praise it up in here!

I'm 6'2. So my arms are around 3 feet long. So last time I went on the American Eagle roller-coaster, I hurt my finger.

I take hot showers to practice burning in hell.

Stay classy America!

Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?

I'm hungry.

DS1 Bonewheels haunt my dreams.

Have you been flossing?

So... You come here often?

Dragon Dance!

Canada isn't real.

My favorite band would have to be Ninja Sex Party.

Nobody pays me in gum :(

Rush B Faggots!

The speed of light's for pussies, we're going at the speed of Brian!


Remember kids, don't have kids.


Accept Ron Swanson as your one true god.

Knee deep in the doot.


My penis is so big it goes from A to Z on the keyboard. Oh yeah! Oh shit, wait...

I though my life was hard because I had no shoes... Until I met a man who had no legs...

I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you good sir are a god damn cactus.


The Resident Evil 4 merchant is forever embedded in my heart.

If you ever feel powerless, just remember that a single one of your public hairs can shut down an entire restaurant.


Sweet dreams are made of memes, travel the world and the seven... something that rhymes with memes but isn't seas because that's the original lyric...

There's no time to explain, pull up your pants and RUN!

Don't repost in my neighborhood if you know what's good for you.

I'm not very smart, but I know quite a lot.

Ra, Ra, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine...


If you haven't already figured it out, I like to talk. I'm just not very good at it.

Mmmmmm, Bepis.


Skate fast, eat ass.

I'm hungry. Gonna make me some Pizza Rolls.

Transformers! More than meets the eye! Transformers! Robots in disguise!

Ye hoebag!

I'm stiiill, in a dreeeaaam, Snake Eater!

"I would trade it all away, if you come back to staaaay. This kitchen's not the same, without youuuu!"

A long time ago, actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why its been everywhere. Its been so everywhere you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how every it gets.

🎵We're all just assholes, lookin' at a screen.🎵

Been a while, eh?

Engrish is my favorite language.

Most Recent Posts

Ey b0ss, I'm in.

Join them, huh? Well, he might as well. Only other option was to take out another student loan and keep going to school. Well, this was basically the same thing, minus the debt, and progress towards a degree. Then again, he's also already here, and getting back was likely going to be a hassle, seeing as they're in some unknown location.

"Well, I don't see why not. I really don't have anything better to do. Also, where are we exactly? Did we go through some interdimensional teleportation to a different plane? Or are we just on some uncharted remote island in the middle of an Ocean?"

He then suddenly thought that all that time playing D&D might actually pay off here. Knowing of planar travel, and other magical BS might actually be of use here. Then again, this isn't much like D&D, seeing as it's present day, except for that one guy in robes. Although that might be a good idea for a campaign. Huh.

Well, guess he'd do more waiting. Wasn't really much else to do, 'Cept maybe wander off. He'd probably get lost doing that, though. Then again, getting lost for him was half the fun. But instead, he chose to wait, standing around until everybody had inevitably spoken up, asked questions, and possibly reveal unlikable parts of their personality.


As the light slowly dimmed down, Alex, half expected to come face-to-face with that slimy black horror from the year before. Yet instead, he seemed to be in front of some sort of castle. A castle academy? Seemed odd, but stranger things have happened. Like that teleportation spell. Or that Eldritch Horror. Glancing to his sides, it looked as though others were arriving as well. Not very surprising considering it was a school and all.

The next thing that grabbed his attention was an old man who started approaching. He was likely Tohru. He looked like a wizard, at the very least. He pulled sword out of... somewhere. And raised it skyward. A bright beam of light flew out of the sword. "Jeez, Talk about dramatic intros..." He mumbled. So this was his welcome huh? Better than a test or something, though he'd better not speak to soon.

As the old man walked away, he turned his attention to the woman who was standing near him. "So, uh... what now?" Presumably, they'd have a day or two to get situated, and likely show off what they know. Then classes would probably start. He just got out of college, so he was used to the whole "class" thing, but would Tohru be everyone's teacher? Or perhaps there were teachers for specific magic types. Guess there was only one to find out.
Sounds good to me.

The day started out great! The semester was finally over, and it was only yesterday he received his Associates Degree. That still wasn't enough, though, he still needed another 4 years, but at least this was a major point in his career. Unfortunately, tuition was pretty expensive, and he needed to save up before starting his next semester.

He walked out of his house, to check the mail. He still lived with his parents, as he only had a part time job, and was paying most of his tuition. He really didn't like the idea of having student loans to pay off, and tried to keep his debt to a minimum. Right now, he was debt free, but would likely need to take out a bit to get started on the next year.

Reaching the mailbox, he looked inside. Nothing. Well that really wasn't unusual. He began heading back, when a winged woman seemed to descend from the sky in front of him. "What in the Goddamn-" He was cut off by the woman, who pushed a letter to him and simply said, "It's urgent", and disappeared.

Well that was... anyways, he began to read the letter. So that tentacle thing last year was likely said mysterious entity. Or worse, it wasn't. It looks like this Tohru guy was going to teach them magic. And something about saving the world? Well, at the very least, this could be an opportunity to explore unknown wonders. It sounded like a great idea!

He ran back inside the house to his mother getting ready to leave for work. "Uh... hey mom. I have to leave for a while.
It's... school related. I don't know when I'll be back."
His mother smiled at him. "Another 'adventure' huh? All right. I'll tell your father. Stay safe, ok hun?" Alex nodded, and his mother left.

He ran to his room and began to pack things into a Satchel. A set of clothes, his wand, and a notebook. He assumed there'd be food and stuff there, but he might need money. He grabbed his wallet and looked inside. $44. Well, it might help. He put the strap of the satchel on his shoulder and held out the letter. "Well, here goes!" He ripped the paper in half, and watched as he was once more enveloped by a bright flash.

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