Recent Statuses

16 days ago
Current If we're asked "Table or Booth?" And you say Table, I don't think we can be friends.
4 mos ago
Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream. Because I can't fucking sleep.
5 mos ago
"Inspiring quote I found on Google"
6 mos ago
Tomorrow. Noun. The place where all human motivation and energy is stored.
6 mos ago
Bathtubs are just reverse boats


Hey now.

As time goes on, I'll add random stuff to this.

We praise it up in here!

I'm 6'2. So my arms are around 3 feet long. So last time I went on the American Eagle roller-coaster, I hurt my finger.

I take hot showers to practice burning in hell.

Stay classy America!

Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?

I'm hungry.

DS1 Bonewheels haunt my dreams.

Have you been flossing?

So... You come here often?

Dragon Dance!

Canada isn't real.

My favorite band would have to be Ninja Sex Party.

Nobody pays me in gum :(

Rush B Faggots!

The speed of light's for pussies, we're going at the speed of Brian!


Remember kids, don't have kids.


Accept Ron Swanson as your one true god.

Knee deep in the doot.


My penis is so big it goes from A to Z on the keyboard. Oh yeah! Oh shit, wait...

I though my life was hard because I had no shoes... Until I met a man who had no legs...

I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you good sir are a god damn cactus.


The Resident Evil 4 merchant is forever embedded in my heart.

If you ever feel powerless, just remember that a single one of your public hairs can shut down an entire restaurant.


Sweet dreams are made of memes, travel the world and the seven... something that rhymes with memes but isn't seas because that's the original lyric...

There's no time to explain, pull up your pants and RUN!

Don't repost in my neighborhood if you know what's good for you.

I'm not very smart, but I know quite a lot.

Ra, Ra, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine...


If you haven't already figured it out, I like to talk. I'm just not very good at it.

Mmmmmm, Bepis.


Skate fast, eat ass.

I'm hungry. Gonna make me some Pizza Rolls.

Transformers! More than meets the eye! Transformers! Robots in disguise!

Ye hoebag!

I'm stiiill, in a dreeeaaam, Snake Eater!

"I would trade it all away, if you come back to staaaay. This kitchen's not the same, without youuuu!"

A long time ago, actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why its been everywhere. Its been so everywhere you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how every it gets.

🎵We're all just assholes, lookin' at a screen.🎵

Been a while, eh?

Engrish is my favorite language.

Most Recent Posts

Kale Kahananui - Honolulu, Hawaii

There was a slapping sound as Kale hit the snooze button on his alarm clock. He yawned, stretched and sat up before thinking about his next couple of days off. He briefly recalled something about testing at a clinic, so he'd need to get that done. Something about a Genome Project? Fortunately, there was one nearby. Within walking distance, even. Kale's joints popped loudly as he got out of bed and headed towards his closet.

Grabbing a blue t-shirt, some red shorts, and nondescript boxers, he headed for the shower.

One shower scene later...

Kale decided it would be best to see the doctor sooner rather than later, so he slipped on a pair of black sandals and hit the road.

The hot sun was a "warm" welcome as Kale stepped outside. The salty sea air was a familiar smell, and Kale's first thought was to hang out at the beach. But no, he wasn't supposed to do that today. The short walk to the clinic was mostly uneventful. A few seagulls, cars driving by, and the smell of malasadas being made. Arriving at the clinic, there was a surprising short line. Wasn't everyone supposed to do this? Whatever.

After telling the front desk he was here for the "Genome Project", he was directed to sit in the waiting room. Pulling out his phone and playing around, the 15 minute wait went by quickly. Kale barely heard the nurse say "Mr. Kahananui!".

Following the nurse into the designated blood draw room, the procedure was quick, silent, and relatively painless. Kale still wasn't entirely sure what this was all about. Maybe the government was going to clone him or something? That'd be pretty cool, actually. He could be in two places at once! While that likely wasn't the case, it was still a fun thought. Kale thanked the nurse and stepped back outside.

The next logical step for Kale was some good ol' fashioned breakfast. Kale walked back home with a single thought in his mind: Waffles. The breakfast of champions.
I'm a little rusty at this, but here's what I've got.

Hey chief. I'd like to hop on.

After handing his sheet over to Craig, Alex grabbed his phone with his spare hand and began to surf the web. He checked his emails, because for whatever reason, everything got sent to his spam folder. After a few minutes of reading, most of it was indeed spam and ads, nothing new.

There were a few times Alex would hear a door open and hear someone say something or another, but he learned to tune out such things. He looked back over at the table to see that it had mostly filled up, and there seemed to be much more food than before. Most notable was the Sushi and Brownies. Quickly grabbing a piece of nondescript sushi, he tossed it into his mouth and continued playing on his phone.

Perhaps a game or two to pass the time while Craig looks through the sheets. Wait, no. Craig would never look through the sheets. He'd probably just grunt and hand it back. Either that, or pretend to look interested and do the same.

Alex looked up from his phone at Craig. There was some sort of incoherent speech before giving a sheet back to someone. "Yeah, that's about right." Alex looked to see that his own sheet had been returned to him, and luckily with minimal damage.

Looking over his abilities once more he remembered his Minor Magic ability. Mage Hand was a nice spell, but perhaps there would but something better? He opened his mouth to speak, but it was about that time that a bright light shone from his left. Looking at the now floating book, Alex had to admit, it was a neat trick. "That's actually pretty cool. How'd you get it to-" the light suddenly got brighter, and Alex covered his eyes as it overtook him.


Before Milon even opened his eyes, his head hurt. A lot. He reached for his head, only to find that there was something stuck to his head. It felt like a horn of some kind. Pulling on it, Milon winced in pain, it was as it was stuck to him. Opening his eyes, and lowering his hand, he caught a glimpse of it. Something was wrong. Looking at his hands, he saw that they were now red in color, with claw-like nails. He looked around to see he was no longer in a house, but some sort of old timey tavern. He was still at a table though, so there was that at least. The others looked just as confused as he did, and they also looked somewhat strange.

He looked down at himself. "What in the Goddamn..." He found himself in leather armor, a deep brown in color, covering most of him. Strapped to him were a pair a Shortswords, buckled in their sheaths.

He turned to ask Craig what was going on, when he saw that he was missing. Great. "So, does anyone have any idea what's going on? Is the book still there? Maybe it has some clues."

Careful steps could be heard as Alex emerged from a nearby staircase. With him, Alex carried a large platter with several clinking plates. On them sat Alex's famous 5-Cheese grilled cheese. Cheddar, Provolone, Mozzarella, Swiss, and Havarti melded together to create a oozing cheese filled toasted Sandwich.

Step by step, Alex slowly descended the stairs and took careful steps towards the table as to not send his delicious creations towards the ground.

At last he reached the table, and gently set down his platter of large sandwiches in an empty space near the center.

"Alright guys, Sandwich time. I made more than enough for everybody."

Alex sat in a nearby seat where he had put his character sheet. His arms still ached from carrying all those sandwiches in such an odd position, but the pain soon faded as he finished up his character sheet.

Alex tapped the eraser of his pencil against his lip repeatedly as he turned the cogs of imagination in his brain."Hmm... What's a good name? A mere second passed before he was struck by an idea."Milon."

He quickly wrote the name down and passed his sheet over to Craig."How's it look man?" Alex grabbed one of his Grilled Cheeses from the center of the table and began eating as he awaited Craig's judgement.
Lord Omsagro´s Adventure Index, the newest and most comprehensive roleplaying system.

@Lord Orgasmo Not sure what you mean in the "weapon finesse" ability, this are pee isn´t going to use tabletop number stuff. Other than that though I like it, accepted!

The weapon finesse thing is more just tabletop flavoring than anything. Emphasizing that he uses lightweight weapons and his dex rather than his strength.
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