Recent Statuses

21 days ago
Current A traffic light.
1 mo ago
Pizza Rolls are baby Hot Pockets, which are teenage Calzones.
2 mos ago
Minty is just cold spicy.
2 mos ago
You'd think my joints were made out of bubble wrap with how much they pop.
1 like
3 mos ago
I took a 5 hour energy to try and keep awake for work. I'm equally tired, but my heart is beating hella fast and I feel like I'm about to have a stroke.


Hey now.

As time goes on, I'll add random stuff to this.

We praise it up in here!

I'm 6'2. So my arms are around 3 feet long. So last time I went on the American Eagle roller-coaster, I hurt my finger.

I take hot showers to practice burning in hell.

Stay classy America!

Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?

I'm hungry.

DS1 Bonewheels haunt my dreams.

Have you been flossing?

So... You come here often?

Dragon Dance!

Canada isn't real.

My favorite band would have to be Ninja Sex Party.

Nobody pays me in gum :(

Rush B Faggots!

The speed of light's for pussies, we're going at the speed of Brian!


Remember kids, don't have kids.


Accept Ron Swanson as your one true god.

Knee deep in the doot.


My penis is so big it goes from A to Z on the keyboard. Oh yeah! Oh shit, wait...

I though my life was hard because I had no shoes... Until I met a man who had no legs...

I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you good sir are a god damn cactus.


The Resident Evil 4 merchant is forever embedded in my heart.

If you ever feel powerless, just remember that a single one of your public hairs can shut down an entire restaurant.


Sweet dreams are made of memes, travel the world and the seven... something that rhymes with memes but isn't seas because that's the original lyric...

There's no time to explain, pull up your pants and RUN!

Don't repost in my neighborhood if you know what's good for you.

I'm not very smart, but I know quite a lot.

Ra, Ra, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine...


If you haven't already figured it out, I like to talk. I'm just not very good at it.

Mmmmmm, Bepis.


Skate fast, eat ass.

I'm hungry. Gonna make me some Pizza Rolls.

Transformers! More than meets the eye! Transformers! Robots in disguise!

Ye hoebag!

I'm stiiill, in a dreeeaaam, Snake Eater!

"I would trade it all away, if you come back to staaaay. This kitchen's not the same, without youuuu!"

A long time ago, actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why its been everywhere. Its been so everywhere you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how every it gets.

🎵We're all just assholes, lookin' at a screen.🎵

Been a while, eh?

Engrish is my favorite language.

Most Recent Posts

Looking over things, I'm probably going to go for a Dhampir Unchained Monk.
@tobiax I was going for either cleric or Monk, but right now I'm trying to figure out a race.
Would you be ok with the Oread race? Also, how do you feel about the Unchained classes? They're basically just rebalanced versions of certain classes. I was thinking of maybe trying an Unchained Monk Oread.
I'd be down for some Pathfinder. Would you allow the Samsaran Race? And are you doing favored class bonuses and/or traits? I plan on being a Chaotic Good Cleric of Milani.

I once spent ~40 hours in a medically induced sleep. It wasn't quite a coma, as I woke up several times, but would just say nonsense, giggle, and fall back to sleep. And I don't remember any of it. I just remember waking up after going under and waking up 2 days later with no memory if what happened.
This is going to take so goddamn long please shoot me

Make that six (6) people.
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