Recent Statuses

1 mo ago
Current Now, I'm no biologist, but I'm 99% sure I have a second stomach made exclusively for French Fries.
1 mo ago
I'm willing to bet the reason people like medieval RP's so much is because you can murder people with little to no repercussions.
1 like
1 mo ago
I'm wIllinois to bet the reason people like medieval RP's so much is because you can murder people with little to no repercussions.
2 mos ago
Attention customers: If the light at my lane is off, it means "I'm going to leave," not "Swarm to my lane"
2 mos ago
Just found out what a Luther Burger is. My god. I think I gained 5 pounds by just looking at it.


Hey now.

As time goes on, I'll add random stuff to this.

We praise it up in here!

I'm 6'2. So my arms are around 3 feet long. So last time I went on the American Eagle roller-coaster, I hurt my finger.

I take hot showers to practice burning in hell.

Stay classy America!

Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?

I'm hungry.

DS1 Bonewheels haunt my dreams.

Have you been flossing?

So... You come here often?

Dragon Dance!

Canada isn't real.

My favorite band would have to be Ninja Sex Party.

Nobody pays me in gum :(

Rush B Faggots!

The speed of light's for pussies, we're going at the speed of Brian!


Remember kids, don't have kids.


Accept Ron Swanson as your one true god.

Knee deep in the doot.


My penis is so big it goes from A to Z on the keyboard. Oh yeah! Oh shit, wait...

I though my life was hard because I had no shoes... Until I met a man who had no legs...

I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you good sir are a god damn cactus.


The Resident Evil 4 merchant is forever embedded in my heart.

If you ever feel powerless, just remember that a single one of your public hairs can shut down an entire restaurant.


Sweet dreams are made of memes, travel the world and the seven... something that rhymes with memes but isn't seas because that's the original lyric...

There's no time to explain, pull up your pants and RUN!

Don't repost in my neighborhood if you know what's good for you.

I'm not very smart, but I know quite a lot.

Ra, Ra, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine...


If you haven't already figured it out, I like to talk. I'm just not very good at it.

Mmmmmm, Bepis.


Skate fast, eat ass.

I'm hungry. Gonna make me some Pizza Rolls.

Transformers! More than meets the eye! Transformers! Robots in disguise!

Ye hoebag!

I'm stiiill, in a dreeeaaam, Snake Eater!

"I would trade it all away, if you come back to staaaay. This kitchen's not the same, without youuuu!"

A long time ago, actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why its been everywhere. Its been so everywhere you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how every it gets.

🎵We're all just assholes, lookin' at a screen.🎵

Been a while, eh?

Engrish is my favorite language.

Most Recent Posts

Stare Blankly and judge silently.

Alex woke up face down in his pillow, drooling. His head hurt like hell and his mouth had a not-so-unpleasant grape taste left in it, and his lower half felt sore. What happened? Wait... why was he naked? He tried to recount his memories.

Well, April and Darric got killed, and then got killed again, so there was that. Afterwards, he and his compadres made camp outside the city. Well, that is until Alex overheard talk of a beach from a random trooper. He decided to break off from the group and head there. Shouldn't be to hard to find, besides, camp is just outside. What's the worst that could happen?

The beach wasn't to hard to find. He asked around and eventually found his way there. It was... fairly busy looking. Lots of people, even a couple of troopers washing up. Guess they were here for the... attractions. Alex went to the water and began to wash his clothes. His shirt had a few dirt and grass marks, but they came out easily enough. He was about to talk to some of the troopers about camp or something, when a tap on the shoulder grabbed his attention. A young woman, no older than him, and what were likely her two friends stood by her. They said that they were thankful for what he had done, and offered him a drink, and asked for his story.

Taking the drink, he decided to do just that. The grape flavored drink was nice, and the girls seemed to have a legitimate interest in what he had to say. Then everything went dark. He remembered being led... somewhere, being thrown down, and then... that's it.

He looked around his room. It was just a wooden cube with a bed and an end table. And... are those shackles on the bed frame? Uh oh. He looked around for his clothes. Luckily they had been neatly folded beside the bed. Throwing them on, he ran outside. Well, he was still in town, so there was that. He looked towards the sun. It was starting to set. He needed to get back to camp.

Luckily, seeing as they were right outside the city, it wasn't a long walk, but it was certainly more difficult than he imagined. His legs were like jelly, and the soreness didn't help either. Once he finally got to camp, he plopped down and laid back. If he was a drinker, right about now is when he'd reach for the song stuff. But for now, he'd just lay here, and try to recover.
Banned for no good reason.
I'm still here, snorting coke.
@RumikoOhara doesn't matter to me whether or not we move on.
I think I'm just going to have Alex sit at base making like... bottle rockets or something.
Alex is probably back at base, snorting cocaine.
I'm a sociopath.
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