Recent Statuses

11 days ago
Current I don't think I want to say where my name is from.
13 days ago
That hasn't stopped people before.
17 days ago
When I eat, it is the food that is afraid.
23 days ago
Chaotic Evil @ambra
1 like
1 mo ago
Pizza time🍕
1 like


Hey now.

As time goes on, I'll add random stuff to this.

We praise it up in here!

I'm 6'4. So my arms are around 3 feet long. So last time I went on the American Eagle roller-coaster, I hurt my finger.

I take hot showers to practice burning in hell.

Stay classy America!

Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?

I'm hungry.

DS1 Bonewheels haunt my dreams.

Have you been flossing?

So... You come here often?

Dragon Dance!

Canada isn't real.

My favorite band would have to be Ninja Sex Party.

Nobody pays me in gum :(

Rush B Faggots!

The speed of light's for pussies, we're going at the speed of Brian!


Remember kids, don't have kids.


Accept Ron Swanson as your one true god.

Knee deep in the doot.


My penis is so big it goes from A to Z on the keyboard. Oh yeah! Oh shit, wait...

I though my life was hard because I had no shoes... Until I met a man who had no legs...

I've met a lot of pricks in my life, but you good sir are a god damn cactus.


The Resident Evil 4 merchant is forever embedded in my heart.

If you ever feel powerless, just remember that a single one of your public hairs can shut down an entire restaurant.


Sweet dreams are made of memes, travel the world and the seven... something that rhymes with memes but isn't seas because that's the original lyric...

There's no time to explain, pull up your pants and RUN!

Don't repost in my neighborhood if you know what's good for you.

I'm not very smart, but I know quite a lot.

Ra, Ra, Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine...


If you haven't already figured it out, I like to talk. I'm just not very good at it.

Mmmmmm, Bepis.


Skate fast, eat ass.

I'm hungry. Gonna make me some Pizza Rolls.

Transformers! More than meets the eye! Transformers! Robots in disguise!

Ye hoebag!

I'm stiiill, in a dreeeaaam, Snake Eater!

"I would trade it all away, if you come back to staaaay. This kitchen's not the same, without youuuu!"

A long time ago, actually, never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why its been everywhere. Its been so everywhere you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how every it gets.

🎵We're all just assholes, lookin' at a screen.🎵

Been a while, eh?

Engrish is my favorite language.

"No one can escape the fate given to them.
All that remains is the end, where you will all perish.
Eternal greatness exists only within myself.
Sing a song of sorrow in a world where time has vanished."

Most Recent Posts


Starring the one and only:@NachoBachoPacho

Neon did what he did best. That being standing nearly perfectly still unless Annie began going somewhere. Except when she went into the bathroom. He didn't need to see that, and she probably didn't want him there anyways. So he did as he does, standing nearly motionless, and occasionally bringing his glass up to his visor.

Then however, Neon's attention was turned to one of the most indescribable sounds he had ever heard. It was like if someone was trying to inhale really, really hard, but they had something stuck in their mouth. There was a knock at his chest as when he turned, a man with a large moustache had bumped into him in what appeared to be a panic. A panic from what? Joseppi? Neon looked down at the man, who began apologizing profusely, and at one point even referred to him as "Ghost Pardner". "You're fine. It's going to take a lot more than that to put me down." Neon extended his big and plated left hand towards the man with the extra large moustache. "I'm Neon. Neon Knight. I serve under Annie. She's right over..." he pointed with his pinky finger on his right hand, still holding the glass, towards Annie. Or rather, Annie's seat, as she was now gone. His eyes scanned the room, but Annie was nowhere to be found."Ah, shit." Well, she couldn't have gone far, and she usually tells him if she's going somewhere far away, mostly because he gets physically dragged there. If she didn't show up within the next few minutes, he'd go looking for her.

Annie was a bit of a drinker in her younger days. She once even got taken in by the police by running around topless. After that night, she made the decision to cut back on the alcohol. Just one or two drinks is all she would usually have. She had just finished her first drink and would've probably had another, had she not suddenly had the overwhelming urge to pee.

Annie looked around for the bathroom, and found a pair of wooden doors, one labeled "MEN" and the other "WOMEN". Annie headed into the women's bathroom, which was... surprisingly clean for being out in the middle of nowhere. It even had a nice circular mirror. She quickly ran into one of the stalls, and answered the call to nature.

After finishing up, Annie walked over to the sink and mirror and began to wash her hands. Annie looked deep into the mirror, back at herself. Her hair seemed a little... frizzy. And she noticed one of her buttons on her tanned jacket had come undone again. Maybe it was time for a new jacket? This one was about a year old now, and had seen some abuse, crawling over rocks, through sand, getting covered in ancient stagnant water, perhaps it was time to put the jacket to rest.

She looked over the rest of herself. Her white collared shirt was mostly pristine. It had a little sand on it, which was quickly brushed off, and a mark from dirt on her left side. She gave her finger a lick and tried wiping away the dirt, but it wasn't the most effective method. She looked down at her jeans. They were a lighter blue, almost white on the front part of her legs, but still a darker blue in the back. The knees and shins were a little torn up, mostly from her being on her hands and knees digging through sand, rocks, and whatever other horrors waited in ancient ruins. She had an extra couple pairs of clothes back in ther pack that was on Slow Ride, just in case. She had a hard time finding jeans that fit, and more often than not had them tailored to her. Given the kind of hard work she did, she needed something sturdy to wear, and these, she found, were a good choice. Lastly, she looked down at her brown leather boots. They were... pretty dirty, all things considered, but considering how much she walked and how often she'd use her foot to kick away things while digging, it was to be expected, she usually went through two or three pairs of shoes a year. These boots were relatively new, and had a while to go, but the leather was beginning to crack, and the laces were starting to get frayed in some places. Good thing she brought another pair, though given her average foot size, she could probably find more in a town if she really needed more.

Annie let out a sigh as she ran her hands through her hair, trying to calm the frizzles that her hair had began creating, when she noticed the glint from her finger. She was wearing a silver band with a small Amethyst on it. It was a ring she had found once while digging out in the west. It wasn't ancient, and was probably made within the last 20 years or so. She yawned, giving a big stretch as she held her arms upward. This was going to be a long journey. Better get back to Neon.


No special guest this time.

In a strange turn of events, not only has Joseppi gotten the bartender out of the bar but he also pulled a magic sack of money out of his ass, so that was a thing. The bartender had already poured her a glass of Brandy while everyone else was scrambling around and Joseppi was bribing the bartender.

Annie tipped the glass back and admired the flavor of her brandy. Fruity, not too strong, a little citrus. Annie wasn't a professional taster by any means, but could identify flavors pretty well. She wasn't one of those people who, with just a sip, could tell the exact amount of years it was aged, the barrel wood that was used, the fruits in it, or anything like that. Those people were freaky.

Annie pulled her bag of sweets and set it on the bar in front of her. She put her hand in and pulled out a random piece of candy. A small sphere of what looked like dark chocolate. With an expert (right) hand, she set the sphere on the back of her thumb, which was tucked slightly under her pointer finder and flipped the sphere like you'd flip a coin, and the sphere arced into her mouth flawlessly. Dark Chocolate. It was... pretty bitter to say the least, but it was far from the worst she's had. The chocolate melted quickly, and was gone in a flash. She left the bag on the table, totally unguarded from young blonde boys with a candy addiction, and crossed her arms behind her head, leaning backwards. Her lean was stopped short as she made contact with Neon Knight's cold metal exterior. Perhaps a drink or two would warm him up? "Say, Neon, why don't you go get a drink? It'll be good for ya. Here." Annie reached into her pocket and pulled out an assortment of nickels, dimes, pennies and quarters, before counting out four dimes and putting them into Neon's enormous, heavy metal hand.


"Very well, if you insist." Neon leaned off of Annie's chair and took a few steps before going behind the bar. Each step of Neon's steel-like greaves made the wood creak, and the sound of heavy metal to wood could be heard nearly all throughout the bar. Upon reaching the back of the bar, Neon looked at the various bottles of alcoholic drinks. Dark liquids swirled in glass bottles, as well as the lighter brown ones. But what to get?

His eyes(?) scanned the bottles, before falling on a bottle that read "Sun Zaoh Brandy". Asain Brandy? It looked like what Annie was drinking so he decided to give it a shot. He set his four dimes on the wooden shelves before grabbing the mysterious asain brandy. Grabbing one of several short glasses and filling it with ice, he dumped in some of the brandy. He flipped up his visor, exposing the inky black darkness underneath. He brought up the glass to the edge of the opening and poured in some of the liquid. "Hmmm... Fruity. And... cold."


Neon held his sword behind him, wary of the approaching Joseppi, ready to strike at a moment's notice. Joseppi flew out of the bar, much like the two on the ground did, only this time, he landed on his feet, rather than tumbling to the ground. "Oh? You're approaching me? Instead of running away?" "I can't block the shit out of you without getting closer." Neon mocked. In hindsight, that probably wasn't a great idea, but he couldn't pass up the opportunity. Joseppi came closer and closer, Neon's grip tightening on his shield.

The tension grew thicker in the air as Joseppi was finally within striking distance, but if there's one thing Neon knew about combat, it's that often times if they're in striking range, so are you. Airbag reached out, and Neon put one foot behind the other, in a defensive stance, ready to lean into his massive tower shield to block his blows. But in an instant, all the tension dissipated, as Airbag rested on his shield, and Joseppi let out a hearty laugh. Joseppi snarked about how those two behind him ended up on the ground, knocking on his shield all the while, and saying how they could all use a drink.

Neon lifted his shield up, and it retracted back into it's normal kite shield-like appearance. Neon let out a heavy sigh as he sheathed his Longsword and brought his shield back to it's resting position. You know what? Why the hell not. Come on Annie, let's get a drink." he said, waving his arm in a "come hither" motion.

As Annie picked herself off of the ground, dusting off her bodacious booty, she watched as Neon took a defensive position against someone. To her surprise, Joseppi of all people leaped out of the doorway, accompanied by some floating marble-skinned person with a long golden chain coming off of a similarly golden collar. It looked like a leash someone would walk their dog with. Was Joseppi keeping this thing as a pet or something? That seemed kinda odd. Maybe it wasn't as "Human" as Neon was. While the two exchanged words, Annie took the time to observe the two that flew out of the bar. One was Simon, the man with the big moustache who got first place. Him and his giant robot friend. The woman she didn't recognize, but her attention was drawn to two large green balls hanging in pouches behind her. Maybe she was really into some sort of game that used those?

Annie snapped back towards the sound of Neon's voice, their dispute apparently solved, and Neon's shield back to its normal look. Upon hearing the word "drink" she remembered "Oh right, that's why we came here wasn't it?" Annie skipped towards the doorway next to Neon. Suddenly struck by a bout of generosity, she turned to those behind her. "Well c'mon, y'all! I'll buy ya a round! Ya certainly could use one after all that!" Annie's boisterous personality shone through as she offered the drink, and then promptly leaped into the first chair she saw at the bar, Neon Knight standing close behind her, leaning on her chair. She pointed a thumb at the small group behind her. "First thing they ask for us on me. And I'll get..." her eyes scanned the large wooden board above and in front of her. "...a glass of yer finest Brandy!"

Interacting with: Everyone, technically.

There was a rush of wind as the demon exploded in anger, snuffing out the candles on the room. Alex let out a small chuckle as he held out his arms once more. "Well! It speaks!" He chuckled once more, and returned his arms to his side. "Well, I suppose some introductions are in order. Let's start with me, shall we?"

"My name is Alex, like I said beforehand." He pointed a thumb at himself. "I'm a magician. I'm also a novice Summoner, like the rest of these poor schmucks. My main training is in Illusion magic. Observe." Alex raised his staff and tapped it on the ground, all the while speaking a near-silent incantation. The instant his staff touched the ground, Alex dissapeared from sight. "See? Well, no, I suppose you wouldn't see." There was another tapping sound, and Alex winked back into existence. "Ta-da! Invisibility! A common illusion spell. Now, who's next?"
I'll get something up in a bit


Featuring:@Severance, mostly, but the rest of you are there, too, I suppose.

Donny had attempted to say... something, but was unintelligible with all the caramels gluing his mouth together. Eventually Annie heard a "Sure." from behind her, and decided to hop along to the nearby tavern. Neon followed close behind, trying to keep a theoretical eye on both Annie and Donny.

"Question is, what to get?" Annie muttered to herself. Whiskey was all well and good, but after a while it kind of got samey. Maybe they had some sort local specialty? Maybe a local wine? Had to be white wine though. Red wine left a dry taste in her mouth. Brandy would also be nice. Maybe some sort of mixed drink? Something fruity would be nice.

It was about this time when a young woman flew out of the bar in front of her, quickly followed by a man with a large moustache. Annie noticed that this man with the moustache had a seemingly giant wind-up toy on top of him. Were those illegal around here or something? Her question would quickly be answered when said giant toy began to yell at the man with the big moustache, and move on its own. He had his own Neon Knight! Though it was more of a Neon Toy. Annie pointed towards Neon Toy before turning to Neon Knight and saying "Hey Neon look, it's a frie-- Oh!" Annie was cut off as a large plated hand gripped hair shoulder and tore her backwards. Stumbling back and landing on her sizable rump with an "Oof!", there was a loud *CRUNCH* as Neon Knight ate the remainder of his novelty sized lollipop in a single bite, before flicking away the stick to the side.

"Stay. Put." Neon practically commanded. There were two problems. One: there's an angry Stand on top of a someone, though it seemed the three on the ground were in cahoots with each other, and were likely involved in problem number two: from what Neon could see, the doors to the bar were broken off. And considering they weren't out in the open, they were likely on the inside. Something very strong would've needed to hit those doors. And considering the velocity and height those two had when they flew out, something even stronger would've been needed.

There was only one explanation Neon could think of. There was a Stand in there. And it wasn't happy. Neon held out an open hand to the three on the ground in a "Stay put" gesture, Donny now with them, before pulling out his Longsword. But what would be better for this scenario? Range? Defense? Overwhelming force? Defense seemed like the way to go when starting out. Hopefully it would buy him some time to come up with a strategy. Neon brought his kite shield in front of him before making a slamming gesture towards the ground, and then quickly raising it back up. As he did, the shield lengthened, reaching from Neon's broad metal shoulders to the ground beneath him with a *SLAM!* The width expanded slightly as well, nearly reaching the width of the doorway. Having a Tower Shield would definitely slow him down, but his durability would be unmatched.

Neon's large, imposing figure approached the doorway, his visor back down and peeking over his new Tower Shield. One man stood in front of him, a white, marble-skinned stand next to him. Neon immediately recognized the two as the man they had met back in San Diego. Joseppi. "Joseppi. I'm going to politely ask that you desist. A fight would not be a good idea at the moment. Please, come outside so we may discuss this with civility."

Interacting with:@Severance

Holy cannoli! A demon! It worked! Although it wasn't... as big as he had expected. Maybe this was all they were able to summon with their meager power. Alex knew he certainly wasn't much help. Or perhaps for whatever reason, this demon was weakened, and therefore easier to summon? It was a demon right? It certainly didn't look like any human he'd ever seen. Some of his features seemed... animalistic. He had hooves like a horse, and his hands were wreathed in fire.

"Well, I'd certainly hope this is our demon. Otherwise... we might be in for a bit of a bad time." Alex gripped his staff a little more firmly, just in case. The oaken staff was just a little bigger than he was. He had designed it himself. Lacquered, inscribed with basic arcane runes, and perfectly sanded down to give the best grip possible for him. At the top was clear gem. Crystal, given to him by his mentor, Donovan.

Would this demon truly help them? Would it even speak their language? "So." Alex held his arms out to the side. "Welcome to the realm of the humans. We're uh... not doing so hot right now." Alex returned his arms back down to his sides. "I'm Alex. These schmucks are my uh, 'co-workers' if you will." Hopefully a little bit of introduction would put this demon at ease somewhat. Even though the demon seemed weakened, it would likely still be a formidable foe. One he couldn't fight alone. Fortunately he had several allies that would probably help him if things went awry.
Same. Have our character's introduce themselves, describe their role in the party, establish relations to the world, etc.

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