Archmage MC

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

long post

@Archmage MC
Wow. Your story could be my story. Really. I have like six friends. One from high school. One from my frist degree-actually three from that one. And one in this one.

I'm only now learning how to drive because of my messed up eyes (Hence why Iwear contacts. Ihave 20/20 vision with them)

and I've only have had like five real dates, despite the fact I desperately want more with this guy but am too scared of, well, scarying him off. So we just talk.

huggles

I believe everything happens for a reason.

I've been struggling with depression on and off for...12 years. This year has been particularly bad. So I do understand. Believe me.

I had to...well force myself to volunteer last year. Because...Iknew i needed to do something. The convention...it was great and I loved it. start with doing things like that. And then...going bigger.

@Caits

Ah. Growing up I think I ever had... uh... How do I classify a friend? I'll classify it as they invite me over. Everyone else is an acquaintance. A good one, but still an acquaintance since I was still an afterthought. So by going by that criteria, I'd say I only ever had one friend. And that was in elementary school before I moved. Then I was in Conneticut for a good... uh... 12 years? With a couple good acquaintances here and there, a few bullies who had broken arms, but not really a friend who invited me to things. And the good acquaintances were I'd say... 4 total? 1 for a year, the last 3 for the last 4 years. Rest was just me being buddies with teachers since they tended to like me since I was usually the smartest kid in the class by quite a wide margin.

I can't drive. With correction I'm... 20/480. Without it I'm like 20/1000+. And short of cybernetics, thats not getting better anytime soon. Not getting worse either, so thats a silver lining. Get that car license. Being able to go anywhere you want sounds so liberating!

No dates for me in general. Best I've gotten is a friendly hug. Hugs are nice though.

I find my depression has made me a nihilist. I don't get sad anymore, though I don't show much emotion anymore unless its more of an extreme one. Though I'd really like to be enthusiastic and tend to be when something interesting happens. Though being nihilistic has given me an incredible pain threshold.

If I could travel, I'd volunteer more. But being alone for too long has given me a very unhealthy dose of paranoia, so I don't take busses and taxis are too expensive. xD Its weird though, I'll freely talk to strangers, but I hate going on busses alone.

Getting into life story stuff now. If you all want me to not ramble, just say. I can ramble for days. xD

Also my mom is a nurse. I know a good deal of what you two would talk about just through osmosis. xD

---------------

Oh yeah. Light also commented about Penelope. Not much, just asking if she did kidnap them and asking to be let go with a vague threat. xD

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

@BlackPantherHey don't diss the disease thing!

I met one of my best friends because Iwas reading lecture notes as I was eating and was apparently mumbling them, and she overhead me go

"Bllllooooooodddd" in this high voice. And since then everytime we said blood it was like that.

We bonded over me saying blood creepily.

@Archmage MC
Well at the moment Iplay ESo. Destiny. The division. Some others.

I'm 24 and i'e only had a handful of dates-part of that is this irrational fear of being betrayed because of childhook bully but lets not go there. I don't trust maby people in short. So games are a great way for me to learn how people are. You see people at their best and worse there.

Plus...I have to fall in love with a gamer. Its like half my life. And anime/manga.

in short, I need a geek.

@Caits

Man, I want your luck. You got all the cool bonding stories! Right now I'm kinda just looking for the basic someone to love and love in return sorta stuff. Pretty sure that having no friends in 3 years is the source of my crippling depression, and not having a date ever and being in my mid 20s is the other source of it. And not being able to ever drive a car, but that has hope due to self driving cars. xD Just gotta wait for them to NOT require a license to drive, or some sort of easier to obtain license that doesn't need an eye test. lol

I don't play much of anything right now, I just mostly binge watch science stuff on youtube or read lots of science stuff. Maybe some DOTA, maybe some Paladins, Maybe some Fallout 4, Dragon Ball Xenoverse 2 here in a couple days. I stay away from MMOs because they just feel completely empty due to the whole no friends thing. Used to play WoW and ESO though. And City of Heroes. City of Heroes was great, lots and lots of socializing and random fun stuff like that. Why did that one get canceled? And If your going to cancel an IP with no intention of restarting it, sell the bloody thing! >.>

Also studying the stock market. I really wanna get into that, but a 1k entrance fee is kinda steep.

Hope I'm not making you guys uneasy. If you ever need to vent and need an ear, I'm open. It helps a lot. xD.

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

@BlackPanther@Archmage MC

What I'm trying to say is both parties are afraid of failure if they have a real chance because most of the time those who aren't score keepers or users just want a friend first and to feel a connection not a hookup.

Try Chatting about Philosophy Panther, peoples eyes glaze over in 30 seconds or less

@RumikoOhara

Dunno what you mean by score keeper or user, but shouldn't you be friends first before making a relationship? Though I guess if either person makes that relationship plunge, I've noticed that people tend to not want to be friends after that if it fails for some unknown reason. I mean I'd still be friends with someone if they did that.

Philosophy is fun. I've gone on some tangents in the OOC here already with that xD. Just didn't show the initial rambling.

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

<Snipped quote by Archmage MC>

Oh if you chatted to me about Anime or Scifi I'd show you why my uncle says I could talk the ears off a rabbit

Of course I'd likely tell you about my Doctoral Thesis which I need to finish and then rattle the cages of the old Philosophers I love to quote and the ship would begin to sink

@RumikoOhara

Probably not. It'd be nice NOT being the chatterbox for once. xD. Theres only so many times you can spout science stuff before you get bored repeating the same things for the nteenth time. lol

Probably doesn't help I haven't had an IRL friend in 3 years (And even then I dunno if I'd call them friend either. Friends invite you, not force you to invite yourself.) and most internet friends are more just aquantences or just drop off the face of the earth. lol

.....I'm at university
My food time is my me time
I will hiss at people lol

But the other side of the coin I am trying to be more social
But being into science so much makes it hard to interact with people not in that field
I've done better though

I don't mention diseases quite as much XD

And while I'm more social and I do interact more....I still stand at the bus stop alone...

I have one super best friend (friends for going on over 7 years
And then I have people I interact with a lot that I feel are my friends but they will be moving on into heavier fields
*shrug*
Each person is different and such

@BlackPanther

Yeah, science talk is tricky. I usually go the tech or space route. Usually you can get some 'cool' 'wow' or the like going that route. Or give people hope in genetic engineering in 20 years with CRISPR.

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

@Caits

Same here Caits I'm the worst reader of body language ever and terror is my middle name in any first date situation

I had a date actually tell me once that he thought that perhaps we wouldn't work out because he was intimidated after showing up at the stables and watching me be the Manager; something about he thought Arggg!!!

@RumikoOhara

I can say this, at least you've had a date. I haven't even had that yet. Not one I can really call a date anyway. So even if its terror filled and even if it ended in failure, I'd be happy just to have the opportunity.

Actually, what games do you all play that are multiplayer? It'd be nice to get on an MMO and have friends playing it for a change. xD

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

@Archmage MC a man who isn't worried about failure is more desirable I know this because guys are terrified of me and it's no wonder that I date more women. They see me and think already has someone (not for eight months now) She's an athlete, she likes guns and can shoot Bla, bla, bla

The guys that aren't afraid of me are usually ego driven creeps that come up acting as if I should be thrilled with their presense; I love Geek guys and they never seem able to at least talk with me, I'd love a guy that doesn't look at me like a freak when he discovers I love Anime, Scifi, Cosplay and other Otaku and Geeky Pursuits

@RumikoOhara

I'd talk with you, but if you just say 'yeah' 'sure' 'uh-huh', or those dismissive kinda replies I just kinda go off somewhere else because its obvious people don't wanna talk to ya. That tends to be most of my conversations. Or If I do get one, its sort of that 'oh thats neat' and it doesn't go much further than that. I'm outgoing enough to strike up conversations, the problem is the other person doesn't wanna talk usually.

Now why would people be scared of you? Only reason I can see is that they think that since your so cool that your already taken or something, which is usually is true from what I can tell. And a guy can't become friends with a couple because there is another guy there and a girl there. That tends to end poorly, I've seen it unfold at school quite a lot when I was still in school.

@Archmage MC
well. That's kinda offensive.

It's so hard for me to talk to people in real life, really. I'm terribly shy. I get nervous even appraoching a guy. Or a girl. Cause yeah "Go a way"vibe.

So I understand.

Meeting people through games or sites...it lets me be myself and then I don't have to worry so much about the shy thing.

@Caits

Sorry. But thats how I've seen things happening and how things have happened to me it feels. So if its not online its hard to talk to people with that 'get away' vibe thats everywhere. And I agree the sites are great. I'm just talking about dating sites specifically. Like I like you guys/girls so there are friends being made here and its interesting and nice that we can have a convo like this. Imagine trying to get a convo like this going irl.

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

@BlackPanther
awwww thats sweet

@Archmage MC
Well. I have met some pretty good people at convenentions. You just have to...break into the groups. Or volunteer. Some of my best friends I met volunteering at conventions.

I've also met some pretty awesome people through this site, that live in my country, and state. So there's that too.

And I met the guy I like through a game. We hit itoff. Found out we live within an hour from each other...and yeah.

Don't be so quick to disregard online stuff.

@Caits

Yeah, but your a girl. Social things are just... easier. There is a reason why you see ladies basically as waitresses, cashiers, or wherever you talk to someone face to face. Though that leads the question. Is it BECAUSE most business face to face transactions are done with ladies that ladies are just more desirable to talk to in general, or is it that since ladies are more desirable to talk to its popular to put them in sales? Hm... chicken/egg scenario there.

Either way yeah, your basically the antagonist it feels like when your a guy or seen as one. I dunno, thats what it feels like from time to time. I talk to people and thats kinda the feeling I get from them, the 'go away' sense or whatnot. I mean, I've pretty much never had someone ask me to do anything or someone start a conversation with me, I've always gotta start the conversation or invite myself. Its... very very annoying.

And thats also a rant.

Panther, grats on the marriage. Sounds like you two did it right too. I've seen a lot of people do that first few months thing and boy does that end poorly for them after that first year.

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

Well, uh, basically. I dunno whats a good place to find a GF or IRL friends in general. People seem to be so closed off nowadays that its hard to even become friends with people. And for the GF thing, I really don't trust dating sites at all and that sorta thing is wayyy harder than making friends, which is already stupidly hard IRL nowadays.

I'm hoping conventions work, but people tend to be in groups with friends so I'm thinking thats not such a great place to socialize beyond "OMG great costume!".

Online friends tend to be far more open to pretty much everything due to anonymity and whatnot. Case in point, this conversation.

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

@Archmage MC

What I missed a weird question, I live for weird questions

@RumikoOhara

Oh, uh... Its asking for relationship advice sorta thing, but I don't think thats an appropriate topic coming to think about it. Only problem, its really hard to ever lead into something like that too so... yeah.

Academy of Hereos and Villains: Year two

@Archmage MC

I have a Brown thumb so no Potatoes but I am a crack shot with rifle, shotgun, pistol or bow

@RumikoOhara

I've got bad eyes but I'm not bad with one of those either. I'm more a chemist though, so...

I'll just edit this other part out. Its a weird question.