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9 yrs ago
"Mecha Cowboys" has less than a thousand hits on Google. I've never been more upset.
10 yrs ago
RP Concept: "Screw just the plans, we're stealing the Death Star and taking that baby for a joyride!"
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10 yrs ago
The VeggieTales theme song has been stuck in my head for at least three days now. Can't decide if it a good or bad thing yet.
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Writer of schlock dressed up in some decent clothes.

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What happended to King's awesome blue hair?


SAVE THESE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS FOR THE IC.




The pitter-patter of raindrops on Vashti’s black umbrella was drowned out by the thump of the bass that escaped through a pair of pricey noise-cancelling headphones. She hummed along with the melody as her sneakers splashed through a muddy puddle as she crossed the street. Today was supposed to be a sunny day according to the weatherman, which was why Vashti brought along her umbrella. Her life motto was Chaos Rules Everything Around Me and the sudden appearance of gray clouds and torrential showers continued to validate that life choice. However, as she passed by the old shirtless men in jean shorts and their pencil thin, leather-skinned wives running for awnings to seek shelter from the storm, Vashti couldn’t help but think of the real possibility that she had caused the rain. While improbable, it was possible that the act of her grabbing an umbrella was the catalyst needed to spark a summer shower.

It was a ridiculous belief, of course, but Vashti was a girl fueled by believing in the absurd. Bigfoots were real, aliens built the pyramids, and the government was controlled by the New World Order. Umbrellas, in particular, were quite ornery, especially when opened; in doors it spelled bad luck, in Dealey Plaza it signaled a fatal shot. Vashti had to be more careful. Sometimes it was better to get wet than to draw suspicion. The fine old men and old women of Florida had been giving her the evil eye the entire time she’d been walking with the umbrella before the rain came. Certainly it was the umbrella, not the hijab or the heavy wool coat in the blistering heat, that caused the withering denizens of Florida to glare. Still, they’d stare even more if she had taken those articles of clothing off. Sometimes it was better to draw suspicion than to straight up incite a panic.

However, now that there was no sign of the rain letting up there were very few sun-dried WASPs out and about to even notice Vashti. The trailer parks and cheap retirement centers of outer Tampa faded into dilapidated strip malls with boarded up storefronts for Froyo joints, hookah bars, and cell phone repair shops. It was the sad part of town, the dying sprawl where only meth heads and Florida Mans, often one in the same, dared to stay. Vashti normally wouldn’t dare to tread on what was practically a nature reservation for dumbasses, but being trapped in a rideshare with her current circumstances sounded like an awful idea. Thankfully, the rain kept the junkies away and Vashti was free to march through their turf to what could quite possibly be much more dangerous territory.

While she trusted Kimberly Walton with her life (despite being an absolute stranger, Vashti had been a super fan of the girl’s webseries which basically meant they were secret BFFs), she was still a bit apprehensive about joining up with a bunch of Internet witches. It was a justified suspicion, considering the last Internet stranger she met with turned into that thing, and one she tried to shove out of her mind with bright, sugary pop music and fantasies of all the fun she’d have with the Coven. She’d be hanging out with her girls telling fortunes and making charms; it’d be like the good days of school all over again before everyone started to think those things were childish. Yeah, it’d be a good time. No, scratch that, a great time. The best time. This is gonna be awesome, she thought to herself as she stepped out into the street.

The blaring of the horn was so loud that she could hear it through her headphones. Vashti whipped her head so fast that she felt dizzy, the shape of the giant truck just a blur. However, the headlights were a dead giveaway and she jumped back to the curb. Her foot caught it wrong, and a torrent of pain shot through her body as she crashed down on her tailbone. The force of the hit made her lose her grip on her umbrella, and her headphones took her headscarf with them as they plunged off of her head onto the ground. “Awesome,” said Vasthi as she lifted up the drenched headphones. A little water damage wouldn’t hu—the vehicle and a few other black cars with sirens flashing buzzed by her and drenched her with a tidal wave of street water, leaving her mouth agape.

Her umbrella was gone, caught by the wind and trampled underneath the lead vehicle. Her headphones were destroyed, water digging down deep inside of them to drown out the sound of bubblegum pop. Her clothes were soaked, her ass hurt, her hair was ruined, and she was absolutely shaking. She could’ve been killed, smeared across the street like shit on a shoe and left to be picked apart by a pack of wild animals. Asshole Florida drivers like that didn’t stop. She reached down to grab her headscarf. Her hands were trembling as she wrung it out and draped it over herself. Her heart was racing in her chest. She swallowed and looked around in a slight panic, trying to find a way to center herself. She had been shocked by the near hit, but she wasn’t shaking because she had been scared. Rather, she was shaking with an absolutely uncontrollable
RAGE.


No, no, nonono, not now, thought Vashti. She could feel it stirring to get out, and she knew there were only moments before the Leviathan was unleashed. She hadn’t realized it, but she had been running after the truck. Vashti forced herself to stop. The good thing was she couldn’t see it anymore, so it was easy to shift her eyes onto something else. Only there wasn’t anything around but dead buildings and dead highways. She glared up at the gray clouds as the rain splashed onto her face. Vashti squeezed her eyes shut tight. The sound of rain on pavement wrapped itself around her. Unlike the bubblegum pop, it was real, authentic. Peaceful, even. A relaxing shower, sent to her by mother nature. She let it wash away her anger as she counted back from twenty. The threat was gone, let it go.

Slowly, she lowered her head and opened one eye. Part of her felt like she’d see the smouldering remains of the police truck, but to her relief she hadn’t moved. She let out a deep, relaxed breath. She had gotten lucky that the driver didn’t stop. If they did, she doubted she would’ve been able to pull her focus away from what the Leviathan had perceived as a threat. She took another deep breath and did another count, just to be certain. Nothing stirred inside of her. Good. Good. Everything was good. She continued on down the road to the Lucky Strikes Casino, the rain hardly bothering her. She’d swam in so many rivers the past week that being soaked from head to toe was becoming the new normal.

She could see the Lucky Strikes Casino coming up over the horizon now. The road curved the long way around it, so she opted for a shortcut. Vashti cut through an overgrown field, hopped down into a stream (like it mattered, she was already soaked), and swam to the otherside. It was as she was trudging up the muddy bank of the stream that she heard it: the blaring of that horn again. Her eyes grew wide, the gray clouds above darkened, and a guttural roar erupted from the pit of her stomach to answer the challenge of the horn. Vashti clapped a hand over her mouth as she lurched forward, her muscles tightening as she fell to the ground and convulsed in the mud. Too many teeth split her face in two as she howled while her soft flesh shifted to hard scales. A giant tail ripped through her trousers, and Vashti’s last coherent thought as she sunk deep into the pool of her mind was that maybe she should switch to dresses. A meaty claw gripped the edge of the bank and pulled itself up, accompanied by the stock castle thunderclap of an old horror movie.

The Leviathan was here.







And things were about to get fucked.

The Leviathan stood up from the bank to its full height. Five foot fucking five, the pennacle of heights. Never had there been a taller lizard. She moved forward with the lithe grace of a drunken toddler. Land was fucking stupid. It existed only for scared bitches to hide from the Leviathan. Stupid metal elephant was so afraid of the Leviathan that its legs turned into circles so it could run faster on the land. Didn’t matter. She’d find it, rip its loud ass snout off, and beat it to death with it. Take one of its round legs as a trophy. Put it on a spike, set it outside of her lair as a fucking warning to any other metal elephants around to not fuck with her. The Leviathan was Queen of the water and the land. Stupid idiots just didn’t know it yet.

She’d teach ‘em today.

But walking was the worst! A dumb invention for dumb bitches. Necessary only to teach the filth of Florida land their place.. Each step brought forth new fountains of hatred that served as fuel to keep the Leviathan pressing onward through the reedy field of mud and trash. Above, heaven applauded her efforts with another rumble and boom. She dropped to all fours. Faster, although not significantly, and sneakier, although not really with that tail thrashing through the reeds. Not like it mattered. Metal elephants were dumb and couldn’t see through her camouflage.

The Leviathan perched at the reeds at the edge of the parking lot, covered in a muddy and tattered outfit too expensive to be purchased on an apparition’s salary. The Leviathan liked the clothes. Regal. Fit for a fucking Queen. The primates hadn’t noticed her approach, too busy dragging around weaker primates. Typical behavior of a dumb, stupid inferior species of idiots. She snorted. If they wouldn’t announce her appearance with their awe and respect then she’d trumpet herself. The primates would shit their fucking pants.The metal elephant started to move and raised its voice as it rolled away from the primates. The Leviathan waited for it to close in on the reeds, and then roared as it leapt at its target.

Immediately it was pure, wonderful chaos.

As it jumped, the Leviathan whipped around its powerful tail and smashed it right into the face of the metal elephant or, rather, the front grill of the FBI command truck. The truck came to a sliding halt as the front of it crumpled around the Leviathan. The monstrous apparition freed itself from the “elephant’s” powerful jaws by tearing at it with its claws, absolutely turning the smashed hood into ribbons as it cut out the heart of its foe. Triumphantly raising the engine block over its head with a victorious roar, the Leviathan soon lost interest in its kill or the terrified primate trapped inside of it. Prize in hand, the Leviathan lumbered over to a nearby sewer drain, kicked it open, and jumped in like an overgrown, irradiated turtle trained in the art of ninjutsu before anybody could even be certain of what the fuck had actually just happened.
I didn't know the FBI was hiring discount emos with scene haircuts.


Maybe that kind of shit would cut it with the CIA, but the FBI? Come on!
Anothergrounds.
“He better get me something,” said Maysah as Arbiter ordered her to sit tight and then jetted off towards the bar. She flashed an annoyed glance over at Alex. The Tower had found himself a nice wall to hold up and his eyes were too busy doing ocular pat downs to catch her exchange. Arbiter returned with just one mug, which he had emptied before even sitting down at the table. Maysah gave him a look of murderous intent. If he was going to drag them into an underworld bar in the middle of the night after someone dropped a literal bomb on them, then he could at the very least buy a lady a drink.

She leaned back in her chair and let the two fellows chum it up with one another. Patch guessed that they were supers, and before Maysah could deny it Arbiter already spoke up for them. Fine. It didn’t matter if he knew they were superpowered individuals, but if he knew which ones they were. She listened as Peterson offered them information in return for a criminal favor. A rueful smile crossed her face at the reveal that they were being asked to go up against a corporation. Going up against corporations had been what burnt Stardust in the first place, but back then she could at least take a moralistic high ground on her actions. Now, it sounded like she’d be going after one “legitimate” criminal organization to benefit another illegitimate criminal organization. Hardly a prideworthy job.

“It would’ve been rude to interrupt,” said Maysah as Patch called Arbiter out for talking for them, smirking at his ability to get a rise out of Arbiter. She turned to her irritated chauffeur, “But I don’t even know why you bother to ask. I’m no merc, but my decision has been made since Cedar Fort.”

“Although, this doesn’t sound like a fair deal,” she said to Peterson. “You said it yourself, the information we’re getting you could topple corporations...but it never would be used for that, would it? Much smarter to extort them and keep a nice steady flow of hush money then to blow the whistle and get nothing but branded with stigmata for the rest of your career. Regardless, if you aren’t willing to tease us with a few of those whispers you heard about the warehouse now, couldn’t you at least buy us a meal, rent us a suitable place to stay, and get us some fresh clothes so we aren’t instantly pegged as a bunch of out-of-town super assholes the moment we walk out into the streets?”
@Ratattack That's the other othergrounds.








A genuine look of surprise crossed Penny’s face followed by a sheepish smile as Stacey dropped down next to her and lavished her with gratitude. “Don’t mention it,” she said quietly as she patted him on the shoulder between hiccups. She always considered herself more of a confronter than a comforter, but when some poor guy straight-up ugly cried in front of her it was hard not to reach out reflexively. Penny pulled back as Zoey approached and whatever words she had for the girl dropped out of her mouth as she noticed that the streets had changed. Gone were the buildings and the trash cans, instead replaced with trees and a quaint little pond.

“What?” Penny said flatly. She knew this place before Zoey even said the name. She had a decent number of memories associated with Wild Creek, none of which were really decent. As Penny stood she caught sight of Odessa staring out over the water and froze. Something triggered inside of her, and Penny was transported back to the same pond. The light had shifted; the leaves were a different color. Standing in Odessa’s spot was a tall, better dressed girl holding her arms in the exact same way. Behind her was a blonde in sunglasses and a faux leather jacket—God she had tried so hard back then—screaming and gesticulating wildly. The words were garbled, unrecognizable, except for the line ‘I wish you were dead’ from the blonde before the vision faded from her view as Odessa turned to the group.

Penny unfroze. Had that been a Recollection, or just a hazy memory? Penny glanced around. Nobody else had seemed to notice it. Zoey and Odessa were at odds with one another while Elron was trying to defuse the situation. He brought up an interesting point about the cold not affecting Odessa. What was even stranger than that was how she didn’t seem to be hurt at all from that bump she had taken, while both Penny and Zoey looked absolutely ragged and they had been the ones doing the hitting.

“Wild Creek’s just a shithole pond where assholes would take you to get you drunk on wine coolers and try to reach second base,” said Penny, answering for Zoey. She stepped in front of the girl and pushed down her fist. “And Zoey, supercop is right. Cool it.” She gave Zoey a knowing wink. “We’re all friends here.”

Penny turned sharply on her heel so that she was standing by Zoey’s side as she confronted Odessa.“So, friendo, you seem to have done your fair share of research when it comes to spooky shit. Any guess as to why our old town’s makeout point has suddenly forced itself upon us?”


Snow wasn’t the best of mediums for Penny to use. The loose powder could easily slide in on itself or be shifted by one strong wind that’d dampen the potency of the glyph, but then again she didn’t really have any options. Zoey was kind enough to give her the space she needed to work. She finished the circle that would serve as the edge of the glyph which acted as a sort of sealant to prevent the spell from leaking out. No circle done by hand was ever perfect, at least not by her hand, but they were practiced, indistinguishable from perfection by the naked eye, and, most importantly, good enough to keep the glyph active. How long had that taken? A second perhaps.

Penny moved on to the body of the glyph, glancing up just to see if the Apparition was winding up for another charge. No movement yet, aside from its constant up and down bobbing. She made two waves with her hand. Not as precise as she’d like it, but it’d have to do given her limited time window. She heard feet padding through snow behind her. Hopefully Stacey was smart enough to stay in that straight line. She looked back up at the Apparition. The smoke appeared as if it was coiling up for another charge. Shit. She still needed one more wave.

A light wind kicked up and Penny sharply drew in her breath as she watched the snow at the border of her glyph shift, but it did not move. However, the Apparition was trapped behind another snow storm thanks to Zoey. Penny finished the last wave, drew a single straight line that was slanted ever so slightly next to the trio, and began to slide back as she saw the snowstorm dissipate. Shit. She hadn’t planned on standing down the barrel of the gun once her glyph was done but there was no time to move. Penny’s eyes widened as the Apparition charged straight towards her with its sights set on Stacey. She didn’t even have a second as her entire vision swelled with the smoky form of the rushing Apparition as it closed the gap between them with uncanny speed.

Fortunately, she didn’t need a second. Penny threw her arms up and fell back on her rear as her glyph activated and glowed a brilliant blue light. At the same time, a massive, man-sized stalagmite of ice jutted up from the ground and skewered the Apparition deadcenter. A nightmarish scream of white noise echoed throughout the city as the Apparition cracked apart and shattered along with the giant spike of ice. All that remained was a cloud of black smoke that rose and dissipated until it was lost against the night sky. They were safe for the time being.

“Fuck!” The word came out with the breath Penny hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She let herself drop back on the snow and laughed. Her head was pounding like she had woken up with a hangover. She let her head roll to the side. The cold felt nice on her temples. She hadn’t strained herself like that in quite some time. She breathed heavily as she stared over at Zoey and said, “See? Told you I got it. Good assist though."

"As for the rest of you? Eh...”
she lifted a hand off of her chest and wobbled it in the universal sign of so-so before letting it drop with another sharp exhale. Penny tasted copper but forced herself to sit up right. Her vision swam as she rubbed her face and reminded herself that this would only last for a few minutes. Hopefully. She asked the group, “We’re all good, right? No broken bones, no dropped jaws? Is Stacey still running?” Penny grimaced. She’d have to reevaluate her limits. She muttered, “Could someone get Stacey to stop fucking running and give him a hug for me? The plan worked." She threw a half-assed fist in the air. "Go team.”
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