Byrd Man

High Casual Rant

Let me begin this rant with a quick recap of our site's roleplaying boards -- Free, Casual, and Advanced. "What about Tabletop and Nation?" You might be saying. Well, fuck 'em. I have confidence that I can beat any of the nerds in those sections into submission, so I'm just going to ignore the existence of those boards for the entirety of this rant. If one of you wishes to champion your respective nerd board, please arrange a physical fight with me in PMs to not clog this thread.

@DeadbeatWalking

Not to clog up the thread, but:

Step up or step off, bitch

Avengers: Heroes United!

Steve handed the other one to the Duck, "You too...uh...what's your name?"

@HenryJonesJr

"You can call me Howard. Some people call me Howard the Duck, but I find that incredibly rude."

"Why?" asked the SHIELD agent in the suit. "I think it's accurate.."

"Oh, really? What's your name?"

"Coulson."

"Well, Coulson the Receding Hairline Man, accurate can still be hurtful."

"It's not that bad," Coulson muttered, touching his hair.

"Thanks, Captain," Howard said with a nod towards Cap. He held the comm up in his feathered covered fingers. "You do good work. Not as good as Quacktain America, but you do in a pinch."

Avengers: Heroes United!

"Now if you hairless apes are done with this distraction," said Howard, digging through his pockets until he found a scrap of paper. "I should get down to some real work."

Pushing through the group, something that was impressive since he was at least two feet shorter than everyone here, he approached Sandman just as he was being loaded into a SHIELD helicopter by two armor wearing SHIELD agents.

"Marko!"

"Get lost, duck!"

"Where were you on May 3rd, 1996? Were you in Atlanta? Maybe near Fulton County Stadium?"

"What?" Marko furrowed his brow. "I was probably cutting class at PS304, I sure as $#&^ wasn't in Atlanta!"

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained," said Howard. "Take him away, boys."

"We don't work for you," said one of the SHIELD agents.

"I want a copy of Marko's arrest report on my desk at 0865!"

"That's not a real time," said the other SHIELD agent. "And again, we don't work for you."

Howard had turned away from the helicopter, ignoring their comments and looking out across the city.

"I'm going to get you one day, you fuzz-covered son of a bitch."

Avengers: Heroes United!

Probably more so. More communication is needed in a game like this than a sandbox type game.

Avengers: Heroes United!

That was, bar none, a more epic end to a fight than anything in the entirety of Avengers: Infinity War. I'm kind of speechless right now.

@Master Bruce

Take that, Russo Brothers!

Avengers: Heroes United!

In a fit of rage, the rapidly goopifying Sandman roared and shifted both his fists into large mallets.

"I'll murder ya!"

With a snarl, Marko swung hard with his fists towards Captain America. As Cap raised his shield to take the blow, he was surprised when nothing came. Instead, Sandman's two malleted fists hung suspended in mid-air.

"What the hell?"

Against his own will, Sandman's fists came crashing into his chests before jutting out again, twisting in time with some unheard music. To anyone who happened to be alive in the mid to late 90's, Marko was doing a dance that was very familiar. It had swept the across the world like a plague. But like a fun plague. A plague with a nice beat you could dance to.

"Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena," Howard sung in Spanish, the glove pointed in Sandman's direction.

With a look of horror on his face, Marko continued to do the Macarena, a dance that anybody who was anybody in 1995 and 1996 were doing. 1997 if you lived in the rural parts of America. 1998 if you weren't cool. And if you're Canadian, you're still doing it now probably.

"Stop! I hated this ^$#@ing song back when I was in high school!"

"Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría why cosa buena," sang Howard. "Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena. Hey Macarena!"

With a flick of Howard's wrist, Marko slammed into his own head with the two malleted fists. The blows sent him toppling to the ground with a powerful thud. His body broke down into a mess of mud and sand.

Avengers: Heroes United!

EDIT DOUBLE POST

Avengers: Heroes United!

I volunteer as tribute.

Avengers: Heroes United!

Yeah, I usually have another tab open that I use to check for any new posts before I hit the post button.

Avengers: Heroes United!

Crap. I took too long in writing my introductory post that I didn't see that you'd replied already, HJJ/Cap. I'll edit my post to acknowledge your presence.

@Master Bruce

You gotta be concise and quick, Meebs. We're changing the game up!