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2 yrs ago
Current I do not "brainrot". I brainferment so my brain will become even smoother and even more potent than before in its smoothness.
2 likes
2 yrs ago
I live. I die. I live again!
1 like
4 yrs ago
I was gone for a lot longer than I thought >.>"
2 likes
4 yrs ago
Sorry for my absence! A Volunteering position suddenly turned into a Volunteer Leadership position I was not expecting at all so things have been hectic.
4 likes
4 yrs ago
Look at you posers, having to bang dragons or sell your soul for magic when you could just play a lute for some. Anyways, here's Wonderwall. - Bards
2 likes

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Most Recent Posts

<Snipped quote by ClocktowerEchos>
That must have been terribly difficult for you. :p


You have no idea.

I'm currently screaming into a cinder block to try and control myself while also slamming my head into them.

I think I need more cinder blocks tho, I'm running out. Pls send maor
On a completely different note, I thought this might be fitting for two gents who are rivals in a battle of wits or something
And are secretly in some Yaoi plot



Just thought this could be of us latter ^^

<Snipped quote by ClocktowerEchos>
I explicitly compared Kastrati's flirtation style to a dog trying to decide if it should maul someone or not.

I think you're good.


-restrains himself from making extremely inappropriate remark involving dog breeding and bitches-
<Snipped quote by Thrashy>

Must've been a Freudian slip.


Freudian slips.

When you meant one thing but you say your mother.
Posted.

Here's the me hopefully not oversexualising Foam Night... or Akio in general... ><"
I mmaaaayyyy have been in a strange mood at the start of this collab >///>

<Snipped quote by ClocktowerEchos>
DO IT!

THE DARK GODS COMMAND THEE


ALL HAIL CHAOS

\[T]/


Kastrati was a simple man, with simple needs. One of these needs was a secluded corner to nest in, cold pizza to eat, and booze to drink....at the end of his shift. But tonight was foam night and in less then an hour, his entire night would be a special kind of hell. Putting off flirty patrons, breaking up impromptu blow jobs in the bathroom, making sure people didn't have sex on the dance floor (he swore it happened....but only on foam night, something about it made the bastards bold) and finally, making sure students didn't get in to witness all of the above.

So he'd had to improvise. Bought some pizza after his shift in the morning, let it cool. Had a flask of some of the booziest booze to ever booze, and...well, draping himself over a knee-high well near the club wasn't exactly a secluded corner, but he got to flip off annoying pedestrians, so that made up for it.

Wouldn't be too long before some of the more eager party-goers showed up though. He'd have to hurry up.

Akio energetically danced his way down the street, quite proud of the outfit he had scraped together. Simple it was really, just a black latix micro-bikini, white elbow gloves and black stocks, all of silk, adorned his slender limbs as a pair of heel-boots clomped their way down their pavement and around the corner. His outfit was simple, elegant almost when compared to the raunchiness of the neon shades of green and yellow that other girls wore to such an event. At any rate, he didn't have words reserved to private time plastered across his chest for all to see.

Amateurs, Akio thought as he watched more people in short skirts and tacky tatoos walk by, Having to resort to such measures is proof of lack of skill, hmph. This was of course in no way related to the increasing bust size of the scantilly clad women who brushed by Akio and his refined and high-class outfit.

Brushing aside his uncolorfucked hair, Akio made his way around the door guards, a simple flash of his ID and another of his curvature got the man to stand down and let him into LUSH. The beat pumped itself up through the trap's every bone, every vein and every cell. Lights danced around to the beat and there was already a decent enough group gather within the club proper and that it seemed that most of the more prudish casually dressed came first with the raunchier types already gone. Propably in an alleyway or bathroom stall if memory served correctly.

Well.

The booze was working at least. And the pizza hadn't upset has stomach anymore then usual (kept him sharp it did, made up for the booze)...and just looking over the crowd that was going to be inflict a special sort of hell on him tonight told him he would need every bit of dubious yet inexplicably tasty pizza he'd eaten.

Well not so much tasty as addictive.

Okay, so MiG Pizza wasn't the best, but it was in walking distance, did deep dish, had a delightfully Russian owner....and kept him sharp. So he used it.

And yes he was mentally rambling about pizza to distract himself from his building desire to killmurder or at least maim some of the patrons. Management got pissy about that. Cowards.

Kastrati was so distracted by his mental musings on bad pizza and the self-evident cowardice of a management figure that hadn't even slit a man's throat and watched him die, that, combined with his impaired (read: blind as fuck and covered with an eyepatch to boot) eye, he failed to notice a few key details about where he was going.

"Oof!"

Which led to him bumping, quite literally, into a.....

Kastrati gave the patron a quick once-over. Yeah. He was a guy. Even if he did a damn good job of looking like that the opposite. He'd learned how a guy moved in Pike. You couldn't hide that shit.

"Well. It didn't kill you right?"

It didn't sound half sincere, but management said he had to try.

Knocked to the ground, Akio shook the stars out of his head and popped right up, "Oh- um, yeah. I'm fine~"

He smiled an innocent smile, not at all in line with his raver gear as he checked out this giant who ungracefully waltzed into him. Big tall guy, looked pretty strong given his big frame made all the more interesting between what looked like an eyepatch that Akio could barely make out in the club setting. He wagered this man was probably either someone who got dragged here unwillingly and sulked off to a corner to do push ups or was involved in some kind of protection business; he certainly was intimidating enough but Akio had already got used to big giants of men.

"May I ask for a name mister?~" Akio sung sweetly to the back drop of a loud bass line, developing something of a slightly piqued interest in this man.

Huh. Got right back up again. Not even phased.

Kastrati mentally filed this particular patron under "tolerable", anyone who could bounce back from being floored that quickly deserved that much at least. Helped that this one hadn't tried to grope him yet.

....Also helped that this one had balls, biologically speaking. Maybe metaphorically too, going by their attitude towards being bowled over and knocked the floor.

Hell. Kastrati gave the patron another once over. Had to admit, he wore that bra pretty well. Would probably look better in a pair of fatigues though...under the desert sun...blood spattered here and there....

Ahem.

"Right. Kastrati. Megaera Kastrati. Bouncer." It wasn't quite a growl, wasn't quite a purr, it came out in the uncomfortable middle space between the two-like a dog that wasn't sure if he wanted bite you or snuggle up. "....Yourself?"

Akio raised an eyebrow, he was close at least with his idea of what this man named Kastrati was. Kinda sounded like a mix between the words "karate" and "castration" now that he thought about it; the trap wondered if the two had any connection the man. Kastrati certainly looked like he did some version of karate and as for castration... he could have come from a strange family or got shot in the manhood. Akio certainly hoped it wasn't the latter.

"Akio, Akio Kaiyami!" the trap pipped up after getting rid of his thoughts and put out his girly hand as to greet this new karate-castration fellow, "Pleasure to meet ya. You don't have anything to recommend to someone like me do you? Things like drinks, seats, om-noms, or..."

Akio let his voice trail off towards the end, he was confident that Caratstrati could figure out what he meant."

Kastrati tilted his head slightly in acknowledgement. Being who he was, he didn't say anything so polite as 'pleasure to meet ya', but he did make a noise of acknowledgement, one ever-so-slightly closer to a feline purr then hostile canine growl. "Well that depends. You talkin' before or after the foam makes a health hazard big enough ta give the entire city health department a collective aneurysm."

Absent mindedly, Kastrati stuck out his hand and rested it against the wall, and leaned forwards slightly. He couldn't help but be reminded, somewhat subconsciously, somewhat not, of the time he'd pinned the unit newbie against the Humvee and-ahem.

Probably best not to use that as inspiration. Sand had gotten *everywhere*.

The pause hadn't lasted more then a few seconds. "'Cause before, well, I don't drink in the club, I don't eat in the club, and I spend most of my time knocking heads together. Wouldn't know much. Now."

The strange purr/growl returned. "If you're talking after, well, I got some ideas there. Might be some...maneuvers, I could show you. Learn alot of shit overseas you know." Particularly in a unit with a bicurious newbie.

Akio smiled, a big strong military guy on top of him was certainly an interesting prospect. Especially given how tiny Akio seemed in comparison to the large, hulking bouncer; the trap reveal at such a prospect. However, he was here for more than just Kastrati and couldn't afford to just dawdle and drool over a single man.

Magically producing a business card from somewhere, Akio waved it in front of the bouncer before gently placing it into his hand. In a neat, almost handwritten "casual cursive" font, was the name Akio Kayami, his normal work at the Casino (of which he had to go bug for a day off to come here) and of course, the coveted contact information of him.

"Call me later, I'd love to hear about some of your military stories Mr. Megaera; they say that ex-army are notorious for what they did off duty~" and by standing on the tips of his heels, Akio pecked the man on the cheek as best as he could before walking away.

"Oh, do me a favor and don't be one of those bouncers who constantly checks the bathroom; they're no fun." Akio gave once last over the shoulder wink to the man before disappearing into the crowd and music.

Well.

That had been interesting. Business cards huh? He must get around.

Might be a challenge, might not be. All came down to how well he threw a punch or took one.

.....

He was still going to check the bathrooms.
@Delta44That would be amazing! :D

@Narcotic DollieThanks for using the music I picked out :3

@OphidianWant me to post the collab now?
@Altered TundraGranted

It turns out it was an ISIS recruitment tool all along and they're trying to get people to join the jihad through red or blue pills.

I wish for a wish.
Granted but its by a whole bunch of hillbilly dumbasses who got chucked into space. They had simple jobs but manage to fuck up so badly, the entire program is delayed years.

I wish that I could go to an online Korean gambelling site and order wooden tables from the UK :D
@sakurasanAkio might be able to help with that :D
<Snipped quote by ClocktowerEchos>

im gonna call my mister on u, mister


Your father or you male friend/spouse/lover/attack helicopter/etc?

Since Akio is busy with them right nao~ :p
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