ClocktowerEchos

Illuminati: Becouse the world won't run itself. [Light Hearted, Conspiracy, Urban Magic, Dark Humour]

Stepping out of the car, Old Man Henderson's combat boots crunched against the hard gravel of the trailer park. He pulled out one of a dozen or so shotguns that made up his automatic Shotgun with Under Barrel Shotgun that has an Under Barrel Shotgun of its own, Tactical Side-Mounted Shotgun, stock mounted pump action shotgun and long range bolt action shotgun mounted on the other side. It was just the sawn-off double barrel, old and reliable with an under barrel shotgun and a spike bayonet as pointy as his spiky mohawk; the remain amalgamation of pure American firepower was in the car. His partner had insisted on reducing the initial load of weaponry and pellets firing all over the place. Given that this was Alabama, Henderson's shotgun fetish probably wouldn't be all the unusual for the local populace truth be told.

Loudly smacking down on his gum, the old man gave a 10 lightyear stare at one of the local house cats passing by, utterly terrifying it. You see, this case wasn't any old case for Old Man Henderson, it was personal. He was convinced that it was this "Hatsoup the Asian Skin Stereotype Douche King" fellow who had stole his damn lawn gnomes. His firsts had been balled up the whole way through as his eyes burned with bloodlust, eldritch blood lust, tempered only by Rupert the stuffed parrot. And whenever "Never Gonna Give You Up" came up on the radio. God bless Rick Ashley and his immortal soul.

Part of Henderson just wanted to shout Hatsoup's name and summon him, load him with enough lead to poison the entire water supply of a small town in Michigan, and then piss on his corpse to avenge his lawn gnomes. However, when he asked the magic 8 ball on its sagely advice and got "Reply hazy try again", he assumed that even here, Hatsoup was fucking with the winds of magic to screw over the innate connection that the magic 8 balls had to the universe that it used to predict the future. Fucking Hatsoup, first stealing gnomes and now stealing magical energy.

Bringing his full automatic Shotgun with Under Barrel Shotgun that has an Under Barrel Shotgun of its own, Tactical Side-Mounted Shotgun, stock mounted pump action shotgun and long range bolt action shotgun mounted on the other side out of the trunk, he began to march his way to the trailer marked with 21 as his companion wandered off to go find the supervisor. Wasn't an especially long walk for Henderson but upon looking through the window, his winkly old jaw dropped as he found a most horrid beast: a black squirrel.

Henderson cursed inaudibly as sweat dripped down his forehead, it was a good thing that he was on this mission, any lesser, less experience greenhorn jackass rookie would have fallen for the ambush and get a horrible, furry death but not this old man. In his quietest voice (as to not alert the squirrel who was now attempting to hump the far wall), he asked Rupert, "YA FINAKIN' WEERR ERM FINKANA?"

Henderson was no know for subtly, but at 100 decibles, this was about as pretty quite actually for Henderson mostly because he had blown out his vocal cords (temporarily unfortunately) while attempting to hit all the high notes of a Shakira song that had come on while they were on the interstate. Between the volume and the nigh on incomprehensible Scottish (?) accent Henderson had, he singly handily gave the rush hour traffic the closest they'd hear to eldritch chanting at a pop beat without driving insane. Okay that last part wasn't completely true but at least they were all still socially functioning individuals afterwards. I think.

With a solid kick, Henderson's foot went through the front door of the trailer and got stuck. The door creaked forward causing Henderson right in front of the black squirrel that was now attempting to renact scenes from 50 Shades of Grey on its predecessor, Twilight. The squirrel screamed, Old Man Henderson screamed, bystanders were also screaming and so began a furious brawl of the ages between the old man and the squirrel in a fight that would go down as legendary. Henderson flailed about trying to catch the slippery furry beast and Rupert taking one for the team when he was bitten in his fluffy ass. The battle was firece, but Henderson eventually managed to win out and unstuck his foot. Grabbing his overly compensating shotgun, he aimed it at the terrified rodent, frozen with shock.

"HUOPA LRAA FFISTO, BUUBOHAN." Henderson quoted a movie that cannot be said here due to copyright reasons but you should probably know. Several blasts later, the squirrel had become one with the rug and with furry creature jesus. And shotgun pellets.

Looking back on it, the fight may have been brutal, but an honorable duel between two great warriors. As such, Henderson decided to send off his opponent in the most befitting way: a viking funeral. With the help of his magic Chinese Take-Out Box of Pyromancy, Henderson set the trailer on fire after preforming a full 21 gun salute with a single blast of his automatic Shotgun with Under Barrel Shotgun that has an Under Barrel Shotgun of its own, Tactical Side-Mounted Shotgun, stock mounted pump action shotgun and long range bolt action shotgun mounted on the other side. As the hovel burned and smoke poured into the sky, Henderson was almost driven to tears and began to sing for the fallen foe. Holding back tears, Henderon jump to attention and sung the Soviet National Anthem in near perfect Hindu as he swore he saw the squirrel's soul in the rising smoke, going off to hump a cloud.

"ZEW LERNG, ZPHACEE CERBRY!" gave a final good-bye to his honored foe, still saluting at the cloud refusing the sexual advances of a ghost squirrel as the trailer collapsed in on itself, consumed by the flames.

This mission is going to go swimmingly isn't it?

Beginner's DnD 5e Game - Group 2

Kradazier

Half-Orc Alchemist

"Theoretically speaking, throwing a potion at someone is just as effective as them drinking it."

Change A Single Word

Yerrow Sign ;D

Wal-World: Dead Stock [Walmart Apocalypse/WalWorld RP]

Because wade sucks of previously forgotten circumstances, we are using a different channel now. Derp

The Faraway Land

@Thinslayer I can understand you intentions and your goals but you are achieving them with less than admirable ways. Going on a rant isn't going to do anything, its only going to drive people away. People have written thier discontent because there is that much steam built up behind that one topic and its something they are passionate about. You failed at one of Machiavelli's most important rules as a leader of any sort: be love, be feared, be both, but never be hated. And that's why this has occured, because you made people hate you and hate can be an extreme emotion which gives people passion and energy to do things to otherwise wouldn't, like write angry posts.

Yeah, the opening of your post was more correct than you realize. You weren't around every time someone told me they needed more time and I gladly gave it to them. Yoi weren't around when people said they were exhausted from work and school and had no time or energy to write; I gave them all the time and encouragement they needed. I empathized. You weren't there. I respected everyone's time until it killed me. I set up a posting order just like they wanted; I gave them lenient response time requirements; what more could I have done? Bent over backwards?

I applaud your efforts but I must ask, what is lenient to you? Since from what I've seen you've had some pretty good activity with a decent number of posts everyday. Or is it that you are upset that you "only" get like 6-10 posts OOC a day and you've gotten an IC post every few. That honestly isn't bad, hell its pretty solid by some accounts. Are you sure it isn't because that people don't write as fast as you'd like them to so you can read their posts? I love reading other people's posts but I don't hound them if they don't post every two days or something.

Does anybody respect MY time? What, do you think I'm sort of altruistic masochist who always RPs for others but never myself? Yeah, I'm in it for me. I want to tell a story. I want to tell it with others. I want to have fun. Am I somehow excluded from having any fun because others are here? Why can't I ask for SOMEONE to post something once every day just because I enjoy reading them? Is that some cardinal sin or something?

You remind me of my father in some ways in his more negative aspects but lets not get into that. I never said that you were not allowed to have fun GMing but you must realize that there are different responsibilities and priorities between a good GM and a good player. You are more than welcomed to find the line where I explicitly say "GMs are not allowed to have fun" and show me. Go on, find it. As for your cardinal sin, its the fact that you say you are in it for the story and within that same paragraph you ask why can't people just give you amusing posts to read for your enjoyment and lament how much of a poor soul you are. Asking people to post daily is generally a tall order outside of Free and it wears people out. The more you poke and remind people, the more you are likely to have them just drop because they find it annoying. The desire to see other people post is why poeple do more than one RP at a time generally instead of obsessively focusing on one; even GMs will be players in other RPs.

They all had time in their day to post and blow me off. The problem isn't time. It's motivation. They were highly motivated to post how much they hate me, but had none for the story. The problem is THEY have no empathy for ME. I have to sit here and give, give, give, and get only criticism in return. I gave them the posting order they demanded. I started giving them more lore that they demanded. I gave them time like they demanded. But when I ask for a little more of their o-so-precious time, I'm suddenly a tyrant who sees them only as posting machines.

You do realize that with this you are sealing the fate to the player count of the RP but also your own reputation? Again, you demand things from atop your lofty throne and when people don't work the way you want, you are suddenly the martyr and the unsung hero. I can safely say that the perception of some people here and your perception of yourself is radically different but humans are naturally biased towards themselves. I've covered all the points I want to say above with time and making people write posts to read for your own amusement and ranting when they burn out so I won't go over here, I believe I've hammered those in well enough to anyone with a normal skull.

Tell me I'm wrong.

@Thinslayer

You are very much wrong.

Wal-World: Dead Stock [Walmart Apocalypse/WalWorld RP]

Ayy, three peeps. One more and I'll put making an OOC and a CS on my to do list.

Bro, why u gotta do this to me.

@Wade Wilson

I'm sorry Waders what did I do wrong? ;-;

Wal-World: Dead Stock [Walmart Apocalypse/WalWorld RP]

:D

(look below for new chat)

Manifesto of the Spam Forum

Modern Spam is a good argument for McCarthyism

@KnightShade

Does that mean Spam is Communism or is Spam the McCarhtyisists(?)
If Spam is not Communism, then who is? Free? Casual? Advanced? Arena? Nation?
(My money is on Nation, fucking fully automated luxury gay space communism.)

EDIT: Wait, it might be 1x1, passing communist propaganda and anti-democratic messages through poorly written smut!
"Fucc me in the verganananan 4 stalin bby"
"Unnnnggg! Ima bust a viva la revolution in u lol!"
"rwarlolxDDDD"

The Faraway Land

@Thinslayer Jackass outsider opinion time.

I know I'm not a part of this RP so feel free to flail at me with the whole "you aren't a part of this, you wouldn't understand, go fuck off" shitck if you feel so inclined but I feel like given my time on RPGuild, I can speak with some experience and conviction.

First off, I highly suggest that you organize your mind and your priorities as well as the priorities of other people. Go do some yoga or taichi or something, collect your chi or something. As a GM of many RPs, some of which have lasted 5 days, some which have lasted 5 months, you are treating your players as objects whose sole purpose in life is to write posts for your RP. That's not called being a GM, that's called being a tyrant. If your best friend or closet family suddenly died and while you are grieving, the GM of an RP you are a part of keeps saying how "irl comes first" is complete bullshit and you should get back to posting. I highly doubt you would have a positive view of said GM.

You demand loyalty and respect from your players, but you give none back. You based what you believe everyone should be able to accomplish based on what you can do. Just because you can write a post in 10 minutes doesn't mean everyone can do that wether that be due to the fact they don't have the time to focus, lack the inspiration to make something or just are slower writers. What you're saying is basically like a lottery winner saying "Oh, I won the lottery on my 3rd ticket, everyone should be able to win!" or a pop star/actor saying "everyone can make it big in hollywood and become world famous because I can!". People are different, we aren't clones, if you fail to recognize that then there are larger and more pressing issues than your inability to be a good GM.

People loose interest and gain interest on a whim, its a good thing? No, but it happens. I know I have gotten bored of my previous ideas before in the past while they were still going, it happens to everyone. Its a part of life and its best you learn to take it in stride, death is inevitable in everything, nothing lasts forever so just enjoy the moment. Its what I do and what a good number of other do. Coming to terms on the fate of everything is a part of the path of being human and while I can't say how you should walk said path, I can safely say that your reaction of ranting and raving for three posts isn't the best way to deal with it.

The toxic way in which you are acting is only solidifying the fate of the RP which you apparently cared for so much that the concept of you daydreaming about other thoughts is pure heresy. RPs can be rebooted if players have enough of a positive memory of it and the way you are acting is not leaving anything remotely like that. In addition, you are acting completely self centered, narcissistic and prideful saying how you have a job, play games, try to write professionally, and have a life some how justifies everyone being able to copy what you do. You are Mozart saying that everyone should be a musical prodigy and genius. your bitter words are full of "I am" and "my own" and "I have", do you not think on the fact people have responsibilities more important than producing pixels on a screen that they will very likely forget in a decade?

All GMs wish for more activity in their RPs but dealing with said inactivity is part of what separates good GMs from bad ones. I admit to wishing that the RP I have run were more active and the OOC was full of jokes and memes and plans while the IC is host to epic battles, grand adventures, and legendary stories of friends and heroes and philosophical undertones but I accept that it won't always happen. You created this bare bone RP expecting the players to fill it in for you while you write 3-4 posts everyday between you unimaginably busy day which you have planned down to the minute and boast of to people online. If the lack of this bugs you so much, then go and write the novelization of this and just forget this since right now you're as salty as the dead sea.

Sure, I'm just some moron who just suddenly jumped in on this and writing this but I've been on this site a hell of a lot longer than you. I've seen good RPs with good GMs, I've seen bad RPs with bad GMs. Something you seem to fail to grasp is the concept that people RP for FUN or as a HOBBY and those things are not and should not be the driving factor and most important thing in someone's life. Your players are not bound to your will because they declared interest and made a character anymore than you are bound to them because you are the leader and made the RP. The moment someone thinks something is no longer fun, they don't do it. And once you try to force them back into, they won't find it fun or satisfying so of course they're going to loose their passion/fire/drive! Your mildly delusional "I thought better of it and decided to fight it instead" is only driving people away from you and your creation; you are fighting against what you see as a heinous demon but is really your own players, you are the beast you proclaim to hunt and you have failed to see that. No sane man would follow someone who screams their head off with gibberish and ranting and the same is with GMs. If you want people to like you then you need to learn things like temperance, humbleness and empathy, otherwise your shadow will walk before you and will represent you in your entirety.

tl;dr - Get off your high horse, balance your chakra, learn to be a better, more empathic and kind person, and respect others before demanding respect back before you try to GM.

INCORPORATED: Capitalism Incarnate - [Megacorporation NRP]

@Asura Mind if I ask for suggestions on how to flesh things out more?
Also, I'd preferably just continue working off of this thread.